The Silver Lining: A Practical Guide for Christian Grandmothers

by Nancy Wilson

Since our culture is in love with immaturity, advice written for older women can tend to focus on changes: empty nests, new priorities, grown children getting married, etc. But the Bible tells us to focus on the things that don't change. In all seasons of life, God has good works prepared in advance for us to walk in. And whether you're a young woman, married, unmarried, widowed, middle-aged, or a great-grandma, you never quit exercising that faith in Christ.

Grandkids and getting older, dinners and hospitality, mentorship and being an in-law all come with their own stretches of bumpy road, but faith and joy (and a little of Nancy Wilson's practical advice) go a long way. Women traveling through this season should be thinking in terms of family legacy—and in terms of eternity—as they seek godly wisdom, great joy , and a silver-haired crown of glory.

Genres: Christian Living, Nonfiction, Parenting, Christian, Womens, Theology, Family

122 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2016

About the author

Nancy Wilson (née Greensides) is the wife of Pastor Douglas Wilson, mother of N.D. Wilson, Rebekah Merkle, and Rachel Jankovic, and grandmother of seventeen who are (as yet) unpublished. She lives in northern Idaho.

Reviews

[Becky Pliego · Rating 5 out of 5]

2022; Fantastic. This time I listed to the book, and because Nancy Wilson reads it, it is even better than reading it.

2018: So good.

2016: This book is a gift to women who are embracing this new season in life, and who need wise and -very- practical advice to navigate the blessings and temptations that come with age.

[Havebooks Willread · Rating 5 out of 5]

THIRD TIME through--I just love this little book! I wish I had a woman like this author in my day-to-day life.

Five things that stood out to me this time through:
1) "Don't chase your married children away with the stick of obligations, expectations, and comparison. Rather, we must follow Naomi's example to set our children free to create their own homes, traditions, and culture while we assume a supportive role." (95).
2) "It is better to be alone in the house with your husband than a house full of children who were 'guilted' into coming. 'Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a fatted calf with hatred'." Proverbs 15:17
3) "If you are truly wronged, then you have been given a wonderful opportunity to apply your Christianity." (98)
4) "What if God instantly gave you physical health to match your soul's health? Would your physical health improve? Or would you suddenly get sick?" (104) and 3 John 2
5) "Give yourself away until there is nothing left, and you will leave behind a legacy of a rich, exuberant, faithful family culture for your great-great-grandchildren after you" (122).

******First two times
I just loved this little book! I know it sounds rather funny to read a book about being a grandparent, but that's just who I am (reading books in preparation as a new season arrives), and I am quite glad to have picked up this little gem. I actually read it twice because I found it very centering in this season.

It's not just about how to be a good grandmother, but encouragement for this season in general and shares advice on growing older gracefully in Christ. I felt like I was the recipient of a nice cozy chat with a wise, godly older woman lovingly sharing encouragement for this next season.

"This is the Christian life: keeping our eyes on Christ, not on ourselves, not on the circumstances. . .We have had long years of experience of the Lord's goodness, so we of all women should be courageous and stand fast in the faith."

I especially loved the mother-in-law chapter and the wise lessons she pulled from the story of Ruth and Naomi. Summary: "Where there is love and acceptance, they will move in closer. . .set them free from all your own needs and expectations."

The chapters on being a grandmother were especially good. I also appreciated the chapter about continuing to grow our spiritual health--both her suggestions and her list of possible causes for the deterioration of spiritual health in this season. I am putting this one on the shelf for now, but I feel certain I will pull it off for a refresher now and again.

[Vintage · Rating 1 out of 5]

Complete and utter trash coming from a woman who laughed as she told how she spanked her toddler because she didn't want to leave the babysitting/play date. Told her daughter you better be happy to see me in the future and then laughed how happy her daughter was to see her from then on. I bet she was with a spanking in her future.

I really hope she gets the Mother's Day she deserves.

[Trisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick, no-nonsense read. It's a counter-cultural but beautifully Biblical thing to make peace with the changing seasons of our lives, which include children leaving our home and our bodies wasting away. Wilson reminds us to be mindful of His mercies and keep our eyes on Christ. Serve without keeping score; give freely without expectation; remember His joy is our strength. For many older Christian women, these are things we already know, but it is good to be reminded and cheered on.

[Bambi Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

2024: re-read. Helpful book for new mothers in law/grandparents.

2019: I’m not a grandmother yet but this book is packed with practical wisdom for any season, as well as in preparation for the changes that come at lightening speed once our children start leaving home. It’s a quick, just “cut to the chase” book.

[Kristin Rogers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, this book is short but packed with excellent content. I just love Nancy’s no nonsense advice. It’s so cheerful and positive, and sacrificial. She offers so much practical advice about stages of being an older woman, mother in law and grandma. Common pitfalls these roles typically gravitate to and how to go about it a better way. I left chewing on ideas I’d never considered, truly excited for these next stages in life, Lord willing.

[Pat Lane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some great reminders of how to live out these years as older woman, mom and mom-in-law, grandmother. Nothing earth shattering but several scriptures I appreciated being pointed to.

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. 3 John 2 (“What if God instantly gave you physical health to match your soul’s health?”) 😬

Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren. Deuteronomy‬ ‭4‬:‭9‬

[Shelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don't let the compactness of this little gem fool you! In her straightforward, joyful style, Nancy gives helpful reminders to stay the course in key areas while also giving sound advice in navigating new roles in life.

[Katie Talbott · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book, though it will be a few years before I get to the grandmother stage of life. Right now my eldest is 15.

I loved the detail she gave of the feasting/eating together and my only disappointment is that she didn’t go into as much detail in some of the other chapters. I love books that are filled with relatable stories.

I was greatly influenced by my dear grandma and was hoping to read some of what I experienced, but didn’t find it in this book.

Time.

Time is one thing grandkids can greatly benefit from godly grandparents. I spent many a sweet days with my granny - sewing, cleaning, and cooking. Maybe it’s too basic of a topic.

All in all, this book will be going on my shelf, ready for another read in about five years.

[Abby Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

While only slightly questioning some of the roles she gives to widows, and her view if family then church, I overall found this to be a helpful book. My main takeaway was the reminder to include my role in the church in my plans for old age. This may seem obvious, but when I've thought of widowhood it's always been about where I would live and what I would do depending on circumstances. I may never face widowhood, but I might. It's wise to have a plan, and that plan should include how I interact with my church.
This book was, personally, a little hard to read as the vast majority of the book is directed at grandmothers, but still lots of helpful information about dealing with adult/married children and dealing with aging.
You may not be at this stage yet, but don't wait until you are to start preparing. Young women and middle aged women should be thinking, planning, and preparing for the next stage so we can react wisely.

[Heather Bopp · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for all Christian women as their children get older and leave the nest. It touches on all aspects of getting older reminding us how to be a blessing and not a burden and to encourage our children as they begin their journey with their own families. Our role changes and we should embrace that change as wives, mothers and grandmothers. It also touches on being a blessing to other young women in the church as an example of Godly womanhood. I will be reading this one again!

[Jordan Carlson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not (yet) the target audience for this book…but increasingly I feel changes afoot. :) It was very helpful to listen to Nancy give guidance and advice for the years ahead…God willing…being a mother in law, a grandma, an “empty nester”, still fruitful and flourishing, aging with grace and faith. I don’t want to fear the days ahead, but laugh…grateful for this little book and will buy a hard copy too and maybe some as gifts for friends.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book. I decided to read it so that I could recommend it and actually know what I was recommending. It’s a book that addresses women in later stages of life as they become mother-in-laws and grandmothers. However, I found it to be practical and helpful for even someone in my stage of life with little kids - it’s never to early to be thinking about the kind of MIL/grandmother that would bring the greatest glory to God. As always, Nancy Wilson is an absolute gem.

[The.Saved.Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a lovely little book for grandmothers. Just look at that cover. I think Nancy may be a women after my own heart. I love birds!

Since I recently became a grandmother and I have found myself alarmed by how the kids keep their house, as it relates to the baby’s safety, I knew I needed some meat to chew on before talking with them about my concerns.

When I first started this book, I thought that it was just going to tell me a bunch of things I already know. Thankfully I was wrong. I was able to pick up several nuggets of wisdom to help me formulate a constructive conversation without overstepping. For me, Nancy’s book was most helpful in that she mentions a couple of things not to do/say, that I probably would have.

[Tricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book with practical Biblical advice for we ladies who are getting older. There are lots and lots of books to choose from on how to be a good Christian parent of babies, toddlers, school-age children, teenagers, etc. There are many books on how to be a good Christian wife and homemaker, homeschooler, and on and on the list goes.

But there is not a lot to choose from for those of us, navigating adult children, in-law children, grandchildren, and getting older.

There are lots of Marriage books for those early married years, but what about those of us who have been in it for 30+ years?

Nancy Wilson has written a sweet, simple book that speaks on just those items. Nothing earth-shattering really. It’s all in the Bible, but it was a good reminder nonetheless of what my duty is now, in this season. How to still man my post when my post swings from almost empty to so many people we don’t have enough seats!

This was a good read.

[Josiah Richardson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm quite clearly not a grandmother, but one day my children will have two (not counting Great-grandmothers). There are unique challenges and blessings of being a grandmother and Mrs. Wilson helps to walk grandmother's through the new territory. The subtitle is precisely what you get here. The blueprints and the tools are lain out, just gotta pick them up.

[Ronda · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lovely little book with lots of encouragement for the aging woman. I loved Nancy's descriptions of how she relates to and lives in harmony with her family. It's a quick read with lots of good reminders to be flexible and enjoy all the stages of life as we press towards the finish line.

[Maureen Castner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this little book. It was everything I needed. Growing older is a blessing , loving God and our families is the biggest privilege I have ever been given. So many encouraging pages in this book. Thank you Nancy Wilson

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nothing new to me here, but it was all a good reminder anyway. Good for younger and older alike.

[Cj · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful

[Nicole Rasmussen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despite the title I think this book is applicable to women of all ages. I found Nancy's practical insights and wisdom helpful.

[Rhonda Hensarling · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very biblical and practical read whether you are a grandmother or an “older” woman who desires to encourage others and be a wise example.

[Melody Bringe · Rating 5 out of 5]

You’re never too young to start preparing to be a godly old lady!

[Allyson Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nancy knocks it out of the park once again with her no-nonsense, grace-filled, practical wisdom. I love the encouragement she gives to older mothers to continue to flourish into their old age and in their homes. All to often women feel pressured to leave the home and become "productive" members of society once their children are grown, but Nancy makes a great case that there is still plenty of work to be done once the children launch. I also loved her encouragement about being a flexible and open-handed grandma and mother-in-law. That is definitely an area that I want to prepare my heart for when the time comes to enter into that season.

[Piper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Immensely practical and encouraging. Young women should read this as well as older women.

[Trish · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good stuff for older women - younger women would benefit from this book now.

[Florence · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had had this book when I first became a mother-in-law, then grandmother. I loved it. Lots of good advice.

[Sue Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sweet and practical and wise! Gonna need to re read again and again I’m sure.

[Becky Hageman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Soul Candy

Great, practical, Biblical advice for older women, yes, but much applies to all Chritians. Nancy Wilson addresses the challenges that come when our children grow up and when they eventually marry. Their marriages bring new personalities, new dynamics, new traditions to our families. Nancy shows how we can accept change gracefully when we may have become comfortable with and even attached to the traditions we may have established in our homes with our children. She presents important principles from Scripture about adjusting to all kinds of change, trials and physical affliction and how to let go of our children, their spouses and grandcchildren so they may have the opportunity to come to us freely if they wish.

[Carol Ghattas · Rating 5 out of 5]

If there was ever a book I needed, as I enter my "later" years, this would be it. I am so appreciative of the biblically-based, practical, and provoking words of Nancy Wilson. She spoke to me on so many levels, and though her words were hard to hear sometimes because she pulled them right out of Scripture I knew they were ones I needed to hear.

A recommended read for all Christian women, who are entering the "silver" years and looking for the silver lining in aging and relationships, while seeking to glorify God in the process.