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Keeping Secrets

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In this portrait of life with an alcoholic, the celebrated actress discusses growing up with an alcoholic father, how her siblings fell victim to alcoholism, and how her family obtained help through therapy

366 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1988

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498 people want to read

About the author

Suzanne Somers

69 books113 followers
Librarian’s note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Suzanne Somers was an American actress, author, and businesswoman. Best known for her role as the ditzy blonde Chrissy Snow on the ABC sitcom Three's Company, she also had a noted starring role on the sitcom Step by Step as Carol Foster Lambert. She later capitalized on her acting career by also establishing herself as an author of a series of self-help books. She had released two autobiographies, two self-help books, four diet books, and a book about hormone replacement therapy. She had featured items of her design on the Home Shopping Network.

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5 stars
135 (32%)
4 stars
153 (36%)
3 stars
107 (25%)
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22 (5%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
Profile Image for Bren fall in love with the sea..
1,959 reviews474 followers
October 17, 2020
Man, I read this so long ago!

I w as just looking through some of my books and realized I never did do a review of this one. But I can't write a long one. Read it decades ago. Would have to do a reread.

Suzanne Somers was someone I never liked all that much. For really stupid reasons.

Growing up, Three's Company was like a healing to my soul. My favorite comedy ever. If one was down and out, feeling sad, feeling lonely, on went Three's com pany. It was such a great show and I used to envy the ladies and want to live in Cali, maybe in a hip and cool gard en apartment, maybe meet a guy like Jack Tripper.

Then it went off the air.

I'd heard lots of gossip about Suzanne and what a nice person she wasn't. I was pissed. I heard about the incident where she didn't show up for work. I really did not think all that highly of her.

And then I read this book.

It reminds me I am prone to snap judgments and childish mischaracterizations of people, particularly celebrities, where an assumption is made, having got only their TMZ or Current affair story.

I mean..I guess we all do it. And I don't know her. So maybe she is not very nice or maybe she is the most kindhearted lady in t he world. Who knows? But I sure as heck came to respect her after reading what she went through.

The book was very forthright and delves into everything from family to alcoholism to Sex. I wish I could say more but it's been so long.

I just feel compelled to mention the day John Ritter died was a dark day for me. I do not frankly usually cry at celebrity deaths. I was sort o f hysterical over his. Such a talented and joyful man. And I do remember Somer's statement as well which was lovely.

So Bios are a genre I love (although the current one I am reading is boring me senseless). I am rating this a four because I remember how deeply I liked it. And a friend or two of mine read it and also adored it. I may do a reread and recommended to people who enjoy in depth Bios.
Profile Image for Mimi Lindborg Jove.
6 reviews3 followers
May 18, 2011
This book is life changing for anyone who grew up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional home. It speaks to to the syndrome of "Adult Child of an Alcoholic" or ACOA. For me, this book explained a lot about my own behaviour as an adult. But the primary message of the book for me was that the most common thing in ANY dysfuntional family, (no matter whether it is abuse, alcohol, drugs, violence, gambling or whatever....) is the tendency for those IN the family to want to KEEP IT SECRET! This is dangerous and self destructive, and quite frankly, never works.

And one final note. I must say that when I first saw this book, many years ago...I was under the mistaken notion that Suzanne Somers was a stereotypical "dumb blond"...I can promise you,I no longer feel this way. Her book proves that she is intellegent, caring,insightful, and very, very, brave.

Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
In an autobiography that unfolds from the viewpoint of the adult child of an alcoholic, Somers reveals the dark underpinning of her acting career. She shows us the gradual disintegration of her family due to their keeping the guilty secret of the father's affliction. The facade of normal family life was initially supported by Somers's stoic, churchgoing mother, but it also became the burden of the children. Though Somers's childhood in San Francisco was made harrowing by the rampages of her alcohol-maddened father, there were interstices of family togetherness. The author had a stormy adolescence, including a short-lived first marriage that produced a son; her siblings were affected by their own alcoholism until one, then another, joined Alcoholics Anonymous. Today, writes Somers, "Everyone in my family is now recovering." Her courageous outspokenness will support other children of alcoholics. Photos.
Copyright 1987 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Product Description
From superstar Suzanne Somers comes the much-talked-about, painfully honest account of her life in an alcoholic family and the difficult road to recovery. Although a book about pain and struggle, Keeping Secrets is also an inspiring personal story in which Suzanne Somers shares her family's ultimate triumph over the disease. HC: Warner. (Nonfiction) --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Profile Image for Graceann.
1,167 reviews
November 28, 2007
Suzanne Somers discusses her dysfunctional upbringing and interesting life. I never thought I'd find this book of interest, much less recommend it, but it was finely-layered, well-written and explained a great deal regarding how Suzanne Somers became the marketing juggernaut that she is today. With an early life like hers, she had to sink or swim, and she swam.
Profile Image for Sarah.
279 reviews77 followers
January 20, 2022
2.5 - the writing is mediocre and the subject matter is personal, it being a autobiography. Actor turned writer meh. Good mind you but I was a teen, and desperate to read. Never gave that carp up either. :').

Afterword: I had this on my old Goodreads I had for years and years and thought I'd start afresh, since the book embarrassed me having it on it, and passwords, and insecure reviews. Not nec. in that order. I'm not really sure why, may be associated with all the harlequins I was gifted with that came with it. Which can be good.

I read before, thanks to the Bible and how I feel, I to this day cannot fathom why some don't care for reading. Even when I sometimes do, and all the library cards lol, yes I even stole some books from for charges.

Not to write a book on one that was only in line with self help.
Profile Image for Suzanne.
1,692 reviews100 followers
October 17, 2014
I hate to admit this, but I stayed awake one night until almost 4 am to finish this book. I was very surprised with how well written it was and how dysfunctional Sommers' early years were.
Profile Image for M.
31 reviews
December 23, 2008
I read this book in 5th grade. After 2 decades, I still can't rid my mind of the image of a young Suzanne Somers frolicking about in a giant squirrel suit and cheekily asking passersby "Wanna nut?"

I think if this book were to come out now and Somers appeared on Oprah to talk about her tragic past, there'd be some James Frey moments. I just had this suspicion she was remembering things creatively, and I guess it's lingered. But there is one inarguable fact, and it is this: Anyone who gets up each day to don a squirrel suit and face the harassment and contempt of the public, and then goes on to become a millionaire TV star has guts. Ample bosom aside, this woman hustled the bejesus out of herself. I wish she'd used her powers for good, instead of for "Candid Camera" and "Three's Company", but it's her life.




Profile Image for Macjest.
1,337 reviews10 followers
December 16, 2011
The first section of this book is extremely depressing and I had a very difficult time reading it. I read in spurts and would put it down for weeks at a time. I was wondering if things would ever improve. I didn't want to read it, but persevered. I'm sure that is exactly how Suzanne Somers felt during that time. I'm glad I kept at it, because I was able to follow her life and see that it finally did improve.
My father was not a full on alcoholic like hers, but he did drink a lot of beer (hey, this is the lifestyle in Wisconsin) but my mother finally persuaded him to stop. That's one reason why I left Wisconsin and moved to California. So this book was quite an affirmation of my change in lifestyle as well.
Profile Image for Debb.
12 reviews
August 10, 2011
Who knew that Suzanne Somers would be such a great writer. In this book she tells the poignant and compelling story of her own family and their struggle with alcoholism. It chronicles her own triumph over a difficult childhood as the child of an alcoholic and how it affected her well into adulthood. A good read for anyone interested in the way alcoholism is a disease suffered by everyone in a family. Eye-opening.
Profile Image for Lori McLellan.
42 reviews4 followers
September 14, 2012
This is a good book that may be helpful for anyone who grew up in an alcoholic home. Suzanne Somers' retelling of how her father's alcoholism affected and infected everyone in her family. It recounts her and her siblings struggles growing up and her mother's pain of trying, unsuccessfully, to protect her children and put up with her husband's abuse and alcohol disease. All this in an era when there were not as many resources to assist the alcoholic or their family, and the stigma of alcoholism kept everything a secret.
Profile Image for Ida.
489 reviews
July 24, 2013
A story that tugs at the heartstrings and makes a lasting impression. Suzanne Somers had a rough start to a successful career, coming from a family that was so adversely affected by her father's alcoholism. The pain and suffering of being in such a dysfunctional environment is tremendous. That she was able to tell her story in this public way, shows how well she has recovered and moved forward with her life. This is a memoir that can be inspirational for those in similar situations.
Profile Image for Debbie.
21 reviews
July 10, 2008
This book was recommended to me by a friend who grew up in an alcoholic family. It is, of course, about Suzanne's life, but it explains how alcoholism affected her. It's interesting and will help someone who hasn't been exposed to the alcoholic understand how damaging that kind of behavior can be.
14 reviews1 follower
August 9, 2009
I in high school when I read this book. It still stands out to me as one of the best books I ever read. Being young and reading what Suzanne Somers went through made me appreciate my life and family so much. It also taught me that not everyone has it so easy. Suzanne Somers is an amazing person. I would assume this is a great book for anyone who has alcoholism in their family.
Profile Image for Grace Lozada.
Author 1 book71 followers
November 11, 2015
Keeping Secrets was the very first book that I read that gave me hope that my life could change and could be different. After watching Suzanne and her family on Donahue, I knew I had to read it. The book is much better than the movie! So much detail on the tragedy alcoholism plays within a family unit.
Highly recommend!
Profile Image for Sue.
104 reviews2 followers
July 25, 2007
i read this book repeatedly as a teenager. She and I shared lots of childhood experiences, none that i'd wish on anyone, but she explained it all so well that i really related and actually had some healing by reading it.
Profile Image for Kira Harper.
49 reviews
November 13, 2024
this book truthfully was very inspiring and powerful to me and also very relatable. what a woman suzanne somers is tho!! rip
Profile Image for BRNTerri.
480 reviews10 followers
December 12, 2017
This memoir was much darker than I'd anticipated. Actually, I didn't expect anything like it. Suzanne's father (born to Irish immigrant parents) and all three of her siblings are recovering alcoholics, or were before the book was published in early 1988. Her father's side has quite a few in the family.

Her father was an angry, verbally abusive foulmouthed man who was never not drinking. The house was constantly filled with chaos and there was some violence. The father was assaulted by three of the children at different times when they were teenagers. Suzanne once hit him in the head with a tennis racket when she was sixteen, resulting in a bloody head injury that required medical attention, her older sister kicked him in the ribs and broke them, and her younger brother broke his ribs too. Suzanne wet the bed until she was in her early teens, her younger brother did too, and Suzanne began having nightmares in first grade. She'd hide in her bedroom closet a lot too to get away from the yelling. Her mother stood by her man and allowed her four children to be raised up in a mess but Suzanne holds nothing against either parent.

Suzanne didn't have it easy in her early life and career. She comes from a religious Catholic family and went to Catholic schools. She got expelled from one when she was 14 because a snooping nun found in her locker a somewhat explicit poem she wrote about a boy she was interested in. She got pregnant when she was not quite 17 1/2, got married to the father, had the baby, Bruce Jr., in November 1964, one month after her 18th birthday, then began having an affair with a much older man (47). Her marriage ended a few years later and she began dating her current husband, Alan Hamel , even though he was married with two children. They married about nine years later, in 1977. Acting and modeling jobs were few and far between so she had major trouble paying bills and was even arrested for bouncing checks. She got pregnant by Alan shortly after and had an abortion and almost hemorrhaged to death in the days following. She shot nude test photos for possible publication in Playboy magazine but changed her mind about it and never signed the release. Playboy released the photos anyway years later after she became famous by being on Three's Company.

Sadly she didn't discuss the controversy surrounding her firing from Three's Company in 1980 but she may discuss it in her second memoir, 1998's After The Fall.

I think the book is well written, I loved it and have nothing bad to say about it.

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Profile Image for Carmen Shea Brown.
103 reviews
September 22, 2022
When most people think of Suzanne Somers, they think "Three's Company" or the Thighmaster. Or, if you're of the younger generation, "Who's Suzanne Somers?" But many don't know she's also an accomplished writer and poet, and this debut memoir from 1988 about growing up with an alcoholic father is still a classic. When I requested it at the library, I was surprised to learn I was #7 on a wait list.

She goes into raw, candid detail about how her father's drinking impacted her entire family, and although she never became an alcoholic herself, her siblings did, and it played itself out in her own life in other ways--an unplanned pregnancy at 17,bad financial and relationship choices, etc. Through therapy she was able to come out on the other side, but what about her family? Did her father ever find healing? Find out in this riveting, first-hand account of growing up in a time when alcoholism was not talked about, not understood, and everyone affected by it lived a life of "keeping secrets."
505 reviews
May 30, 2016
Suzanne Somers tells of her life growing up with an alcoholic father. In turn, her siblings also became alcoholics. She described the pain and denial of living this way. Her sister was the first one to get help and after 35 years, her dad also got help and became sober. It's an addiction that an alcoholic fights every day but her family is a testimony to others, that help is out there, but you need to be the one to say you need help.
Profile Image for SeaShore.
826 reviews
April 19, 2016
I read this book in the summer of 1989 after a hectic year. Suzanne Somers reveals her dysfunctional upbringing, describing what she endured growing up with an alcoholic father and codependent mother. Recognizing that she was an adult child of an Alcoholic, she faced this head on and dealt with her issues. Every family has its secrets.
Profile Image for Maggie Shanley.
1,594 reviews16 followers
October 13, 2015
I liked the plot, I liked Suzanne as a character, but I wish she stepped back as a narrator and had to let the young Suzanne live her story. The adult Suzanne with her worries and her adult knowledge distracted from the overall story line. If Dave Pelzer wrote this book with Suzanne it would've been perfect.
Profile Image for Naomi.
4,809 reviews143 followers
October 13, 2011
I thought this book was good for putting a face to "Children of Alcoholics" that victims could relate to someone who was popular at the time the book was written. Somers wrote about growing up in an alcoholic home with such poignancy. It really did break my heart.
Profile Image for Brenda.
117 reviews
August 9, 2021
Suzanne definitely had a tough childhood but a lot of her reflections were repetitive. AA is anonymous for a reason. She should not have shared any of her family’s experiences at meetings. She must have an incredible memory to remember her childhood in such detail.
Profile Image for Laurie.
16 reviews2 followers
November 11, 2008
This book helped me through a difficult time in my life
Profile Image for Carolyn.
10 reviews
February 16, 2009
It was interesting to read about how someone got through their childhood with a father like she had.
4 reviews2 followers
Read
August 19, 2010
I had to read this as part of my research. It's true!
Profile Image for Michael Joe Armijo.
Author 4 books39 followers
August 6, 2024
This book does have secrets. I never knew these things about Suzanne. She grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area just as I did. Her son was born when I was just about to start 1st grade at St. Anthony’s Catholic School in Oakland.

Suzanne published this book back in 1988 and while it’s autobiographical about her life up to that time it is also a helpful book to anyone coming to terms with alcoholism &/or for those who have known alcoholics. Suzanne Somers was NOT an alcoholic, but her life was strongly affected by it.

This book was a gift to me from Suzanne’s husband, Alan.

Here are the lines that caught my attention:

We allowed ourselves to be pushed into it. We had the disease. We were addicted to the alcoholic.

Drunks are either dependent or bullies.

Alcoholics can only go without three to five hours before their bodies start to crave more alcohol. The craving awakens them. They need their fix.

Blackouts were a sure sign of alcoholism.

“It’s better to buy one good thing rather than a lot of junk.”—Marion Elizabeth Turner, to her daughter, Suzanne Somers

Creative activity absorbed me.

‘We would kiss for a while and then he’d suddenly turn into an octopus. Hands everywhere.’ —Suzanne, about her first-husband, Bruce Somers, when they were dating

It was our way. Keeping secrets. Don’t let anyone know the bad things. Pretend everything is wonderful.

It was Mom who kept us together.

“I spent six weeks in 1964 at the Tokyo Olympics as a commentator for the CBC. I ate sushi every day; and ever since then, I’ve just loved it.”—Alan Hamel to Suzanne

‘What really impressed me as I listened was his confidence.’—Suzanne, about her future husband, Alan Hamel

“Cocktails before dinner” were warning signs of the beginning of addiction.

I didn’t like feeling ordinary. I wanted to be different. I wanted everything about my life to be different.

‘Who can explain love. Right, wrong, when you love, you
love, and I loved Alan.’

The unknown is always frightening.

Therapists point out your patterns of behavior, making me take a look at the destructive things I did to myself over and over again.

“Do we have a future together?” I would ask Alan.

I figured I am who I am; and if you don’t like it, too bad.

“Tell me everything. I want to know every single thing you did while I was gone.” —Suzanne to her son, Bruce Somers Jr.

“It’s immature and unrealistic to spend money you don’t have.”—Therapist, Mrs. Kilgore to Suzanne

“You are responsible for your own life. You can make it any you want it to be. You’ve worked hard. Don’t blow it.”—Therapist, Mrs. Kilgore to Suzanne

Without treatment alcoholism always ends in death or insanity.

A poem by Suzanne:

Touch me
In secret places
No one has reached before
In silent places
Where words only interfere
In sad places
Where only whispering makes sense.

When drunks are hostile, it has nothing to do with their targets. Their belligerence is really self-hate. A drunk hates being a drunk. Everything they feel about themselves comes out in the form of foul-mouthed abuse, usually to the people they love most.

Self is the only person anyone is capable of changing.

Without forgiveness, none of us could ever really get better.

“Life isn’t the easiest trip in the world. You have to have a desire to live.”—Duffy (of Duffy’s Napa Valley Rehab Center in Calistoga, CA) to Suzanne’s father, Francis Stanislaus Mahoney
Profile Image for Rachel.
586 reviews1 follower
June 29, 2024
I had no idea that Suzanne Somers had such a difficult childhood and struggle as a young adult. The story was depressing at times, but I did learn much about Suzanne, including that she published a book of poetry.

What I didn't like about the book:
1. Alcoholism and the way it affected her childhood and her siblings who also became alcoholics
2. Language (quite a bit of swearing)
3. Infidelity/abortion (Suzanne got pregnant out of wedlock, married the father, but then had an affair before divorcing him. She had other affairs and ended up having an abortion.
4 Lies & deceptions to cover up so many things.
5. Suzanne made poor financial decisions and struggled to pay for the basic necessities. She even spent a day in jail due to not paying debts owed.

Despite the negatives, there are some positives about the book:
1. Suzanne chose life for her son. Although she was a single mom, she was caring and provided emotional support and love for her son.
2. She worked hard and was determined to succeed.
3. She reached out to a therapist for her son. This same therapist helped Suzanne recover from all the trauma in her life.
4. She broke the cycle of poverty and addiction to become successful.
5. Her family members eventually all sought help and ended the cycle of alcoholism.

My greatest take-away from the book: With professional help and determination, it is possible to pull yourself out of destructive cycles and become successful.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews

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