What Men Say, What Women Hear: Bridging the Communication Gap One Conversation at a Time

by Linda Papadopoulos

Addresses communication and listening gaps between men and women that influence esteem and emotional bonding at every step of a relationship, translating what each gender means when talking as well as how their words and behaviors are understood by the other. 35,000 first printing.

Genres: Nonfiction, Relationships, Psychology, Personal Development

240 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Deb · Rating 4 out of 5]

*Bridging the he-says/she-hears gap*

It turns out that more often than not, couples are on the same page, but the real issue is that these pages are written in different languages! This book serves as a simple guide for translating these often disparate languages of male and female-ese.

Based on the principles of cognitive behavioral psychology, _What Men Say, What Women Hear_ shows how *mis*interpretations of others' comments often results in unnecessary relationship drama and devastation. Helping to bridge the he-says/she-hears gap, this book offers clear explanations (with relevant and entertaining examples) and easy-to-hear advice for communicating in a more gender-neutral language of love.

From the first date to the first fight to the first (and hopefully only) walk down the aisle, this book brings couples closer to really hearing what the other is intending to say. Hear, hear!

[Di · Rating 2 out of 5]

You can definitely tell the author writes for Cosmo (UK). It reads sort of like it. Surprisingly, she's a real therapist. This would be a useful book for those who want the lite version of gender differences in communication. For real stuff, read Deborah Tannen.

[Liza · Rating 2 out of 5]

When I first began reading this book, I thought I wouldn’t gain much. Right off the bat, the author adheres to many stereotypes that need to be challenged. However, this book did help me come to the realization that maybe I do hear things my boyfriend isn’t actually saying and that I try to create a meaning beyond the words that are said. I would suggest this book if you’re wanting a insight (though slightly biased) into ways to improve communication in your relationships.

[Charlotte · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 points for the English fun, I laughed a lot. This one is better than the translation!

True and sad at some points, funny and typical at others. Don't know, somewhere around 2.5 score.

[Tatiana Gomez · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although it reads a bit like an overlong Cosmo article, a bit cold, distant, and stereotyped, I found this book to be a good introduction to the large communication gap between traditionally socialized and gender normed women and men Please don't go into this expecting to read anything that is not based on gross generalizations, however, within those generalizations and somewhat ridiculous examples some essential truths shine through: listening to what a partner actually says is important, as is listening to what might be implied but left unsaid. Doing this through the lens of your partners' socialization, often based on gender, is smart. And dating intelligently is tough business that requires constant examining of our own biases, expectations, and assumptions even before we begin to consider another's. If you are already adequate at communication you will find this repetitive and trite, but as a scientific (evolutionary perspective and psychology) based refresher and reminder to stop and listen, this book serves its purpose.

[Bianca · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book puts a new light on an issue as old as the world, affecting a large proportion of women and men: the problems of communication between these two camps, depending on the stage they are in their relationship: first date, when it creates physical intimacy, the dreaded moment when we meet each other's parents and living in two after marriage. Highly recommend the book is full of practical advices easy to apply!

[Jamison · Rating 4 out of 5]

this is a good book for learning how to communicate with your partner.

[Nina · Rating 2 out of 5]

For peope who like the business-type dating came, this may come in handy

but it would never work for me.

Am I the only one left who believes the heart chooses?

[Sonya · Rating 3 out of 5]

Много добър наръчник, за това как трябва да се реагира при различните ситуации в една връзка. Определено се усеща, че е писана от доктор по психология, а не от аматьор.

[Alan Chen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting, though I would hope most of it isn't true because it puts too much power on the guy. I did learn infidelity can be emotional (e.g. confiding in someone) as well as physical.