Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On -- Together or Apart

by Douglas K. Snyder, Donald H. Baucom, Kristina Coop Gordon

This book has been replaced by Getting Past the Affair, Second Edition , ISBN 978-1-4625-4748-7.
 

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Marriage, Relationships

342 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2007

Reviews

[Annie · Rating 3 out of 5]

OKAY LET ME EXPLAIN

There is no affair in my life. (That I know of. Joooookes.). But I have a tendency to hold onto blame for things that happened in the past, play the martyr, get on my moral high horse, and punish people for things they apologized for over and over again a long time ago.

I couldn't manage to find a book that actually specifically addressed that particular issue at length. But I stumbled across this one in the library and surprising, it seemed to address that very issue. And it was not difficult at all to translate the affair-language to language that was relevant to me.

This was a self-help book that didn't suck. I don't know if I loved it, but I think it actually did give me some useful strategies for reframing certain things in my life and forced me to take some accountability for things I was dodging. Which I guess is the point of self-help books?

Idk, self-help books are still mostly a joke of a genre to me, but this one isn't totally useless.

[Jeff Silvester · Rating 5 out of 5]

Saved me, not my marriage... but me.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Other than being 100% heteronormative, this book offers a helpful map for what to do after an affair comes to light. It is written so as to help couples navigate the complicated and overwhelming mix of emotions. Each chapter narrows the focus to a specific component of understanding, coping, and healing. I would love to see this revised with more inclusive language.

[Ruth · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book was ok. It has some good ideas in it. It just wasn't what I was expecting.

[MaryAnn · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

I read this book in preparation for a clinical presentation on healing from infidelity. I thought the authors did an excellent job of creating a structured program partners could follow either on their own or in conjunction with their individual or couples therapy. The authors outline a three stage process to help partners move on after an affair, either together or on their own. There are plenty of questions for partners to consider and worksheets to complete in order to promote reflection and productive discussion. If I have any qualms it is that information is presented in a fairly heteronormative fashion and certain sections are rather repetitive.

Note: If this resource would be helpful to you either personally, for someone you know or professionally, there is a newer edition (whose release has been delayed). Anticipated publication date is now set for September.

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful insights. Useful as a tool or reference.

[Valerie Perez · Rating 2 out of 5]

Validating in that many of the techniques/exercises are things I already use with my clients.

[Spencer Fojas · Rating 4 out of 5]

affair treatment 101