Permanent Passenger: My Life on a Cruise Ship

by Micha Berman

Imagine yourself sitting at home. The phone rings. You have been offered a dream job and have 48 hours to fly to Miami and board a 70,000 ton cruise ship. Your destination: the Caribbean. Permanent Passenger: My Life on a Cruise Ship tells the adventure of a young man serving as an Assistant Cruise Director on one of the largest cruise ships in the world, Carnival Cruise Line's M.S. Ecstasy. Witnessing rescues at sea, stowaways, and passionate romances are just some of the day-to-day events revealed in this humorous adventure. Discover one of the wackiest job searches ever undertaken including sending letters to over 2,000 college alumni, chasing cruise line executives into bathrooms, and transforming a dorm room into a private office with hired interns. All aboard - this is one adventure you don't want to miss!

Genres: Travel, Nonfiction

140 pages, Paperback

First published December 28, 2007

About the author

MICHA BERMAN currently resides in Marin County, north of San Francisco, and continues to use his microphone skills honed on the cruise ship as a professional voiceover artist. His voice can be heard on radio and television commercials for First Republic Bank, Kelly Moore Paints, Notre Dame De Namur University, the United States Postal Service, Brown and Toland, AMD and Dentek Nightguard. When not moving his mouth, he moonlights as a social worker trying to save the world. Berman is a graduate of the University of Virginia and holds Masters degrees from New York University and George Washington University. For several years he taught a class on “How to Get a Job on a Cruise Ship,” as an adjunct Professor at New York University and has published magazine articles on how to break into the cruise line industry. His resume includes short stints in strange smelly places including a dairy farm, law school, the United States Congress, and the Tony Awards. He spends most of his time changing poopy diapers, and buying lottery tickets. He has no immediate plans for any cruises.

Did You Know?

• Micha Berman has a reputation for breaking into tough jobs. At one time due to a fortunate mistake, the author was part of an elite group with unlimited access to Broadway shows as one of the Tony Awards Nominating Committee.

• The author was one of the early backpackers to travel through Vietnam in the early 1990’s when the country opened its doors to the West. He quickly set the record for sitting on the toilet for the longest period of time with diarrhea.

• Micha has a knack for seeking adventure, he braved the cold waters of the San Francisco Bay to swim from Alcatraz to the shore, has run multiple marathons, and has ventured out to the Farallon Islands for a face to face rendevous with Great White Sharks.

• The author is a United Nations on wheels. Born in Israel to parents from South Africa and Holland, he spent his formative years growing up in Baltimore, going to college in the South, settling in New York City and eventually marrying a Japanese-American woman in San Francisco.

Reviews

[Jamie (The Perpetual Page-Turner) · Rating 1 out of 5]

spammer spammer spammer. I would never in hell read this book because of the fact he blatantly joins groups just to spam. Why Micha would you join the Chicks on Lit group when you aren't a chick? Do you know that groups have threads about how irritating you are??LEARN HOW TO MARKET/ADVERTISE your book EFFECTIVELY..and then maybe people would actually want to read your book rather than burn it! if you want some marketing/advertising tips from someone who graduated with that degree..I could easily give you some big pointers..and number 1 would be..STOP SPAMMING!

[Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel strange being the first person to review this book. I found it in a box of donated books and didn't realize it was self published. It was an interesting story and I certainly admired Micha's tenacity as a college student going after his dream job. But I had hoped to learn more about how this enormous industry functions. Other than entertainment director, how is the rest of the staff treated. Stories about drinking and making fun of the passengers did not hold my interest. I know that Micah has taught classes about getting jobs and cruise ships and wonder if some of his attitudes have changed.

[Marcie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would only recommend this book for those who are die-hard cruise fans. Mr. Berman is NOT a writer, and his stories are poorly-written and somewhat repetitive - although occasionally entertaining. Cruise Confidential is a much better book, if you want to read about life behind the scenes on a cruise line.

[David · Rating 2 out of 5]

I work in the industry. The book was interesting, but sadly, dated. The experiences we're from the early 90's, and it is sometimes hard to relate to the world today in the cruise industry. Ships are much larger, cruise lines rules have changed, etc..

[LK Griffie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reviewed by Special Guest Reviewer: Denny Griffie, SKI - USCG, Retired

Having spent 20 years in the United States Coast Guard and having traveled all over the world while serving on an ice breaker out of the Pacific North West for Uncle Sam, I love ocean sailing. When for our first anniversary my wife, author LK Gardner-Griffie, suggested we take a cruise I wasn't sure I would like it or not. Not because I no longer wanted to set sail, but because I was used to being on the job while on a ship. Would I be able to make the transition to being a passenger or not? Well, I found that I enjoy being on a ship more as a passenger than I did as a member of the crew. Now I love cruising vacations and love to take one anytime we have the chance. When the opportunity came up to read and review Permanent Passenger: My Life On a Cruise Ship I was eager to see how the experience of working on a cruise ship compared to my experiences as a lead petty officer on an ice breaker. So anchors aweigh.

If you are looking for a literary discussion of living on a cruise ship containing several nuggets to ponder in a philosophical sense, this book is definitely not the one for you. But, if you are looking for a fast paced, light read, filled with personal experience, down to the nitty gritty of life below deck, then Permanent Passenger: My Life On a Cruise Ship is a good selection. Micha Berman is definitely more of an entertainer than a writer, but as I read through the tale of his adventures of working for a cruise ship line, I laughed out loud page after page. I found I could relate to Berman's experiences in more ways than I could count and that in essence working for a cruise line was not much different than setting sail for Uncle Sam, with a few notable exceptions. The major exception is of course, that you can't just quit Uncle Sam's service, unless you'd like to face a court martial.

In both cases, life on ship is a microcosm of society, and it definitely is a classed society with the levels of society indicated by the decks of residence.

As I walked through these decks it dawned on me I was entering a different neighborhood, one with its own culture and rarely seen by passengers. The first sign that you had entered crew city was the obvious lack of carpeting on the floors and the sheer bareness of the shiny metal walls. The exuberant colors of the passenger halls were replaced by a stark hospital like setting and a general feeling of unadorned survival. A second clue that this was not passenger living quarters was the trash littering the floors, the most common item a shred of wet cardboard standing guard outside a crew member's door, the last remnant of a six pack of beer. Finally in this new neighborhood, hallways also served as soccer fields. Crew members, many from Latin America, often held soccer matches in these hallways not wider than 3 feet, during their off hours, bouncing off the doors, screaming and hollering, there was no way to stop them from enjoying their national pastime.

The staff living quarters consisted of five decks, the lower the floor, the more cramped and dirty the conditions and the more unsafe it was to wander. Think of it as the United Nations with the top floors representing the rich and fortunate nations of the world like the United States, Europe and oil rich countries like Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates. The bottom floors might be closer to third world countries such as India, Sudan, or Guatemala.

As the assistant cruise director, Berman was fortunate enough to live on the top level, which meant he was the sole occupant of his nine by nine quarters. In the below decks, often times there were two or three to a room of that size or smaller. Permanent Passenger: My Life On a Cruise Ship is a very personal account of life on a cruise ship as crew, and contains an intimate look at what the life entails in a humorous style down to the bowel habits of the author. Since I am easily amused by bathroom humor and there were many parallels to life on an ice breaker, I identified with Berman which helped to make this an enjoyable read. The book also contains Crazy Cruise Trivia between chapters citing facts such as how much chicken, steak, and ribs may be consumed during the course of the day by the passengers. The book winds up with the Ten Commandments of Cruising:

1. Get on, Live it up, Get off
2. Get off the ship whenever you can
3. Have Goals
4. Eat out at every port
5. Always be friendly to crew
6. Avoid alcohol and gambling
7. Don't forget the passengers
8. Enjoy the sea, moon, and stars
9. Stay suspicious
10. Develop a few close friends

Permanent Passenger: My Life On a Cruise Ship is a good book for someone considering working for the cruise industry because it gives an insider viewpoint. Of course, Berman's perspective is that of someone who has one of the cushiest jobs on the ship. There might be a completely different perspective from someone who has served on a cruise ship as a member of the kitchen or cleaning staff. Another industry related book, Cruise Confidential, is written by someone who spent his stint as kitchen staff which provides an additional angle to life on a cruise ship. As lead petty officer on the ice breaker, I was in charge of the ships stores and my primary job functions occurred when we were in port, so I was known as a passenger by my shipmates. Hat's off from one permanent passenger to another for pleasurable read.

Preview Permanent Passenger: My Life on a Cruise Ship on Amazon.com

Originally reviewed for the LL Book Review

[Carielyn Mills · Rating 1 out of 5]

pretty bad writing. some parts sounded like ebay descriptions by non-native english speakers full of fake enthusiasm, dumb cliches, stereotypes, and sexism. the paragraphs jumped topics abruptly (one chapter is about people dying onboard and the writer's seasickness, as if the two were similar in any way). overall it wasn't interesting, but he rambled on at times like it was, and he repeated things two and three times in different chapters as if he'd forgotten he had already explained them. it was still so short that it seemed like he didn't have that much to write about in the first place. the idea of a book about life on a cruise ship is pretty neat, but in this case it was very poorly executed. i can see why he had to self-publish - no one else would dare do it.

[Marsha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked reading about Berman's experiences working on a cruise ship for a year. He suggests that six months to a year is probably long enough for this job and he did quit as he got burnt out. He got tired of living in small quarters, got tired of the food, and bored. Also sometimes other staff members would steal from each other, so he got tired of dealing with this. He said that when the boat would dock, he would enjoy the opportunity to buy some other food and hit the stores and just be able to walk on land. However, he did find his experience a good one as he got a chance to do something different. He liked meeting passengers and making friends.

[LibraryCin · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. A fun and entertaining book! It's cool to read about what goes on behind-the-scenes on a cruise ship, especially after having been on a cruise as a passenger (and sometimes wishing I could drop everything and go work on a ship myself!).

[Colin Barnes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Older book, but still a fun read. Only took me two days to knock it out but worth reading if you have no idea what life on a cruise ship is like.

[Darcy Mckillop · Rating 1 out of 5]

More of a short story than a novel. Didn't really provide much detail that anyone who has cruised before.

I wouldn't recommend this book.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun, easy read--just took a couple of nights. A good break if you've been reading heavier stuff.

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book to learn the inside stories on a cruise ship.

[L.C. Tang · Rating 2 out of 5]

Title of the book is incorrect/misleading. A crew member working on a cruise ship is NOT a permanent passenger. Different title, different status and different privileges. I can adamantly say this because I have been both a crew member and a sailing passenger, switching hats for over a decade. In this memoir Micha shares about his journey and desire to acquire employment at sea and his experiences. Interesting read but I think there was a lot of unnecessary information to get to the point, which made for some tedious parts and did not flow easily. Also, the format and layout are not industry standard, which made for a very distracting read with the holes of missing information: who, what, where, when, why and how in certain sections. This leaves the reader to fill the holes with assumptions. I was able to fill the holes because I am a crew member. Some parts I felt like I was reading a diary entry. Nonetheless, it's always interesting to read about a fellow sailor's experience. Sorry Micha, I rate this book 2.5 stars. Definitely not worth paying $36.18 on amazon.