The Calculus of Change

by Jessie Hilb

A poignant and empowering teen novel of grief, unrequited love, and finding comfort in one's own skin.

Aden isn't looking for love in her senior year. She's much more focused on things like getting a solo gig at Ike's and keeping her brother from illegal herbal recreation. But when Tate walks into Calculus class wearing a yarmulke and a grin, Aden's heart is gone in an instant.

The two are swept up in a tantalizingly warm friendship, complete with long drives with epic soundtracks and deep talks about life, love, and spirituality. With Tate, Aden feels closer to her mom and her mom's faith than she has since her mother died years ago. Everyone else even Aden's brother and her best friend can see their connection, but does Tate?

Navigating uncertain romance and the crises of those she loves, Aden must decide how she chooses to see herself and how to honor her mom s memory."

Genres: Contemporary, Young Adult, Romance, Fiction, Realistic Fiction, Family, Friendship

336 pages, Hardcover

First published February 27, 2018

About the author

Jessie lives in Boulder, Colorado with her family and a very shy Aussie rescue dog. She has a BA in English from Boston College and a MSW from the University of Denver. You can find her loitering at a handful of coffee shops around town, downing coffee that always gets cold too quickly, and writing books.
Jessie’s debut novel, THE CALCULUS OF CHANGE releases Feb. 27, 2018 with HMH, Clarion Books.

Reviews

[Miranda Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

Aden is left with a choice, and Tate with the consequences.

When Aden meets Tate, something catches her eye and something irrevocably shifts within her.

Immediately I want him. Not because he has pierced ears. Not because he has unruly brown hair and gray-blue eyes. I want Tate Newman because he is wearing a two-toned blue handwoven yarmulke atop his head.

Tate is unlike any other boy she's seen. He spent the summer in Israel with a group of Jewish teens on a pilgrimage and

He's the only one in the group still wearing his yamulke, and when I look at him, I see audacity and spirit, and I want those things in my life. I decide I want him in my life.

But deciding she wants him and actually getting him are two wholly different things.

For one, he already has a girlfriend - a completely gorgeous and unattainably skinny girlfriend. She's the kind of perfect that you hate for just existing.

And for two, Aden is no skinny-minnie and she is supremely aware of it - to the point where she lets her body image get in the way of living her life.

And despite the odds stacked against them, Tate and Aden just click together.

"I'm perfectly capable of opening a door," I say.

"Prove it." He steps aside and the door slams...

Gah! I love a good banter between the leads.

Most YA books I've read have had these tough, yet slim and pretty heroines. It's so fab to see someone who doesn't fit the mold absolutely rocking the lead.

"But seriously. You don't see things the way everyone else does. You don't act the way everyone else does. It's refreshing."

For once, we have a real life-sized heroine with real life-sized issues. Aden finds a way to become comfortable in her skin without resorting to starving herself skinny or fad-dieting the pounds away. hallelujah!

This book didn't just deliver a quirky and relatable heroine, it also knew how to tug the right strings to bring out the emotions.

For example, Aden's mother died a few years ago, and the more Aden experiences her teen years, the more she wishes for her mother. Several lines had me tearing up - I would've been so lost without my own mom and I couldn't even imagine what it would have been like for Aden.

But this? This is so far from okay. And yet it is. I have to be okay without my mom because I am without her

Everything was just spot-on...except for one teeny-tiny slip-up in the dialogue:

"Great. Coke or Dr. Pepper?"

"A Dr Pepper would be awesome, thanks."

No one ever chooses Dr. Pepper in real life. This is the equivalent of watching a movie and someone uses Bing as a search engine.

Joking aside, I really, truly enjoyed this novel and I can't wait to see what Jessie Hilbe writes next!

"Calculus," he says.

And I know exactly what he means.

"Calculus," I say.

With many, many thanks to the author and Clarion Books for providing me with a free copy in exchange for an honest review

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[emma · Rating 1 out of 5]

I FORGOT TO MENTION THE MOST IMPORTANT DETAIL: the characters in this book are nonstop throwing small pieces of food at each other. it's unreal. popcorn kernels, chocolate-covered raisins, sour patch kids - these children cannot ingest small foodstuffs without tossing them in the general direction of one another.

i'm at a loss.

---

here is a phenomenon that i hate:

when a book is really popular, and you hate it, and then other books start copying that book and you hate the books that copy it because you hated the original, and really all these books that follow are pale imitations of something bad. like a watercolor painting of a garbage can by someone who does Not know how to paint.

anyway.

i hated The Upside of Unrequited, and this book is The Upside of Unrequited. sans happy romantic don't we all just love each other ending.

our main character, Aden, whose name i just completely forgot even though i finished the book under two minutes ago, has a whole hell of a lot in common with Molly, our horrendous protagonist from The Upside of Unrequited. they are both fat, they both have never been kissed, they both embark on ill-advised quests to get that kiss that end up in their leading-on of boys they're not interested in. they both have cooler versions of themselves in their life who they constantly compare themselves to (Molly's sister; Aden's best friend Marissa; literally every other female character). they both have body image issues so debilitating that they are unable to see themselves as beings worthy of attention, except for random moments when they can, and at the end, when they are magically healed.

the major differences? The Upside of Unrequited is diverse, and this isn't. also, Aden decides she's in love with a boy with a girlfriend, and, in the process:
- repeatedly touches him (despite knowing he has a girlfriend)
- sh*t talks said girlfriend, who is so. nice. to. her.
- enables cheating behavior in herself while condemning it in others
- declares her love multiple times to said boy-in-relationship, who says repeatedly that he can't be with her, due to the fact that he's IN A RELATIONSHIP
- and, in the grand finale, makes out with and sleeps in the bed of this boy with a girlfriend

also, none of this is resolved. Aden just says "i can't be your friend anymore, Tate!!!" and Tate is so physically jarred by this information that he's ejected from the remainder of the story. (which is like 15 pages but still.)

a lot of social issues are just dumped in here without regard. Marissa, the best friend, is a vehicle for: an emotionally abusive parent with addiction issues; an absentee parent; a relationship with a teacher; slut-shaming; and teen pregnancy, none of which is given the attention it deserves.

also, at one point, Aden is (TW sexual assault) extremely drunk at a party, goes upstairs with a boy, and repeatedly says no as he puts his fingers in her without her consent. she narrowly avoids being raped. this is never addressed after the morning after the party.

cool!

bottom line: girl hate, poor handling of social issues, unlikable protagonist, and sooooo muuuuuch moooooore!!

thanks to Houghton Mifflin Harcourt/Clarion Books for the review copy.

[Madison · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 stars

I expected Calculus of Change to be light-hearted contemporary, where math meets romance and trivial high school problems create light drama and much fun. Instead, Calculus of Change is a deep novel and touches on numerous heavy issues, from sexual assault to body image, relationship problems and self perception. It is thought provoking and written in an original style.

When Aden falls she falls. Head over heels, totally discombobulated falls in love. That's what happened when Tate walked into their calculus classroom wearing a yarmulke and a smile that seemed only for her. But Tate has a girlfriend, and as Aden and Tate become friends and spend increasing amounts of time together, Aden finds it harder to hide her true feelings. But her unrequited love isn't the only thing not going to plan, like her father's endless grief and anger, her brother's impending destruction, and her best friend's own dangerous relationships. As Aden struggles to reconcile her feelings with her perceived self worth, she must decide how she will view herself, her family, her friendships, and her memory of her mother.

Aden's feelings for Tate come across a little like insta-love. Her attraction to him and her developing feelings towards him as she gets to know him are fast, deep, and all consuming. But as the reader gets to know Aden a little more, it is easier to view all this through her personality and her lack of confidence. In fact, it's kind of comforting to read about a character who falls apart in the face of flirting and attraction and who isn't someone who is amazing, smooth, and all-together (because, I know I'm not). Aden's thoughts about her weight form a large part of this book. How she thinks about herself, how she views other girls, even if she believes she is loveable or likeable is all intertwined with thoughts about her body shape, her thoughts about beauty and size.

The chapters follow a sequential timeline, but each chapter has a different focus, titled accordingly. So a chapter titled Tate will be about a meeting with Tate. A chapter called Dad will be about a night when her father gets out-of-control angry. It all flows time wise, but it is focused on specific events rather than daily events and comings and goings. There are also a few chapters that highlight an event from the past, like Aden's eighth grade musical audition, to fill in more of the backstory.

When I first started reading this book I wasn't sure if I was going to like it. Was it a fun, lighthearted contemporary about love, maths, and life? By the middle of the book I was dissatisfied, angry, and confused. How could so many issues like drug use and inappropriate relationships be ignored? But the end of the book completed redeemed the story.

There are so many issues raised in this book. Teen pregnancy, body image, abusive relationships, inappropriate student-teacher relationships, grief, drug use, even sexual assault. But any one of which that might have been the focus of an entire book simply becomes just another layer to this story. And for that, some of these issues don't get much focus. They are perhaps brushed aside a little. But maybe that's more true to life. When things go bad and start spiraling they can become uncontrollable and crash and burn. But Aden doesn't crash or burn. She is a such a strong character. And maybe not in the way one might first think. She has huge body doubts, her self confidence is low, she is focused entirely on her feelings for Tate. But she stands up for herself. She knows what is right. She is there for her friends and family, and at the end she knows that her worth is not wrapped up in how other people view her, but rather in how she views herself. Could a guy like her? He'd be crazy not to. So while some of the issues raised may be just one more in a pile, so while Aden couldn't stop her friend from irrevocably changing her life, or stop her brother from self destructing, she was there for them throughout the fallout. Strong and never wavering. And it is Aden herself who redeems this story, who takes control of her life and her thoughts and makes a choice about who she is and how she views herself. And it is that journey that makes Calculus of Change worth reading.

The publishers provided an advanced readers copy of this book for reviewing purposes. All opinions are my own.

Find more reviews, reading age guides, content advisory, and recommendations on my blog Madison's Library.

[Pernille Ripp · Rating 1 out of 5]

I usually do not share negative opinions of books and yet there were a couple of things that led me to not want to hand this to a teenager; the book is without consequence and handles pretty serious matters much too casually. Some examples are when the best friend has a relationship with a teacher and then gets pregnant, oops, no big deal, we will just do a paternity test and hope it is not his because she happened to have slept with another guy as well. When the main character is sexually molested by a fellow student and she just shrugs it off because she was drunk. The angry dad, the brother that does drugs, the dead mom - all of it seemed like no big deal and yet clearly it was. There are great books out there that handle all of this tough issues with much more grace, and not in a preaching way, this book does not.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been a YA fiction fan since before the genre actually existed. But every now and then I come across a special book that isn't just a fun read—it's like a tiny, potent time capsule, capturing just exactly the FEELING of being a teenager in all its confusing, awkward, painful, exhilarating glory. Jessie Hilb's THE CALCULUS OF CHANGE is one of those books. She's masterful at capturing those emotions: the consumingness of a crush, the angst of not knowing what you are—friends or more than friends?—the unequal power between teen boys and teen girls that so often exists. Jessie takes huge, heavy topics and deals with them unflinchingly, in a nuanced and realistic way that never comes off as excusing bad behavior but also doesn't feel like moralizing. A masterful debut!

Trigger warning—there is a brief but disturbing date rape scene, a side character involved in a disturbing statutory rape/affair with an adult, and a fair bit of substance abuse.

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author really brought me back to my days as a 17 year old girl by reaching into the mind of Aden. The sarcastic look at the outside world, the insecurities, very real family dynamics, eclectic friendships, what it's like to feel a connection with the opposite sex and then second-guess everything about those feelings and yourself. Without revealing any spoilers, Aden definitely comes out on top which is a moment of pride for those of us adult readers who accomplished the same back in the day and will be a moment of inspiration for teenage readers struggling alongside her.

[steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a different book then I expected it to be. From the synopsis I thought it was a cute, high school I-am-in-love-with-my-friend book. Instead, it's about Aden and her family/friends and the way she sees others and the way she sees herself. I wasn't sure how I felt about this book 40% of the way in, but I pushed through and it was worth it. The last few chapters are my favorite and I'm so glad that Aden finally let herself be Aden. So I would recommend this book only with a preface that some of the themes/situations in here are more mature then the cute rainbow cover lets on and I would be hesitant to give this to my 13 year old cousin.

One of those themes was the relationship between Aden best friend, Marissa and one of their high school teachers. Yup, a student and a teacher. I wavered about putting that under a spoiler cut but I ultimately didnt because it might be helpful for others if they are deciding if they want to read this book or not. I would hate for a reader that may have experienced something similiar go into this unaware so heads up that's a side plot.

Also I don't like Tate by the end. He was okay in the beginning but he way he continued to strung Aden along, especially after she told him of her feelings for him was a big no no for me. So glad she stood up for herself and her worth at the end but damn. He was not the great person that I originally thought he was going to be.

This is definitely a book for older high school students, mentions of sex (including date rape), drugs, lax parenting etc. I ended up enjoying it but I have to say, I side-eyed all the parents depicted in here. They either ignored, chose not to care, or aided their kids in making inappropriate decisions. Which I understand, teens will ignore adults or make stupid decisions on their own but at least TRY to be there for them. Instead of collecting everyone's car keys so none of the underage kids drive home drunk from your son's house party. Or going into rages because you are in such pain from your wife's death TEN years ago that it leaves your teens on egg shells around you.

Huh. After writing this review I am dropping this down to 3 stars instead of 3.5. I liked Aden a lot, but now I'm not so sure of everything else.

[SandraK · Rating 5 out of 5]

oh wow. this book is beautifully written and too true. the narrator/main character is edgy and real. if you're like me and have had a 'what is this' romance (to use a phrase from the book) that left you wondering if you were just crazy, this book is so affirming. honestly the book was equal parts painful and empowering. and totally delicious in ways that made me wish it would never ended. highly recommended :)

[Torine · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75/5 stars
I was expecting this to be a cosy romance full of clichés about the nerdy high school girl falling in love with the popular guy. But God was I wrong. It’s touching much more than that, and is deep on so many levels. It goes from body shaming, drug abuse, sexually assault and dealing with the loss of someone you love. This book is all about opening up about your feelings instead of hiding them inside and be happy with who you are as a person. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. All in all, this was such an enjoyable read.

[Jaclyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sweet and moving realistic YA. Starts off somewhat as an unrequited romance, but goes far beyond that. There's also:

- coming to terms with grief - Aden is attracted to Tate partly b/c of his spirituality which makes her feel connected to her Jewish mother who passed away)
- family - Aden, her brother Jon and their father have a somewhat loving but strained relationship, partly because they haven't come to terms with her mom's death, and her father in particular has a hair-trigger temper that never quite gets violent but still keeps his children on edge
- body image - Aden feels insecure next to thinner (and seemingly prettier) girls like Tate's girlfriend
- romantic power dynamics - Aden's best friend Marissa is in a relationship with her English teacher (who is married with children) and seriously considering having sex with him. I like how realistically this plays out, with Aden clear-eyed about the inappropriateness of this relationship but neither she nor Marissa find it easy to report the teacher.
- sexual assault, sex with regrets, sex with consequences - again, all feeling very real
- financial barriers - both Aden and Jon want to go to prestigious colleges but their father can't afford tuition. Jon's dilemma of going to his dream school for his dream program or going to a college where he may have a shot at a sports scholarship is very relatable, as is Aden's being torn between supporting her brother and wishing he chooses the scholarship to increase her chances of her father being able to send her to her dream school.
- even the central romance and somewhat love triangle felt real. I love the part where Aden reflects on how it'd be easy to typecast Tate's girlfriend as bitchy cheerleader and herself as the girl next door who gets the man in the end just like in a Taylor Swift song, but the truth is that there's a bit of both types in both of them.

Beautifully written and compellingly told. This is a powerful, moving story with so much packed inside. I loved it.

[Crystal♛ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to the publisher via netgalley for this arc.

Wow. This book. It was way more than I expected. I was thinking this would be just a cute contemporary. But it is so much more than that. It is about loving yourself. Knowing your worth. Things will be okay no matter the mistakes you make. If someone doesn’t love you the way you deserve then you don’t need them. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Once you learn to love yourself then I think you will realize you’re worth so much more than what you were settling for.

The plot hit me hard. I feel like I was reading about my past self through Aden’s eyes. Aden doesn’t love her self but loves others with her whole heart. But still doesn’t see what she deserves. Her family are still trying to learn to live without her mother. As time goes on she learns that change is okay. Sometimes for the best. I would like more explanation from the romance. I needed more detail from the guy later on in the book. But I am happy with it. I can’t say too much without spoilers.

I loved the character development. Aden struggles with body image almost through the whole book. Like she can’t imagine someone loving her because she isn’t thin. Girls, please never feel like this. Or anyone for that matter. Tate thinks he has found himself but really he has no idea. Her best friend Marissa has troubles of her own. Her parents are pretty much non-existent. Jon has the pressures of a teenage boy fall on him.

Actual Rating: 4.5/5

[Janette Lennon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky to be passed an early copy of this one. Looked up the reviews here first and was intrigued. I read it in short bursts and felt amazed, sometimes frustrated. I often laughed out loud. Didn't know what to make of it but have decided it's genius. Definitely plenty of real life messy issues. PG-13. I would say I couldn't put the book down, but in reality I found myself closing it with my jaw dropped wondering how the author hit so close to home. I've been there just like Aden in too many ways, nothing quite fitting right at the darn department store and wondering if there was something wrong with me, falling for guys who strung me along when sparks were flying on both sides but decided I was a darn good friend, probably because I wasn't thin enough. I could go on and on.

Bottom line: Aden is amazing, a powerful voice for American teen girls. I wouldn't give the book to my 7-year old daughter, at least not yet. But I would gladly give this to every 13+ y/o girl I know, including my 30-something friends.

[Christina (Ensconced in Lit) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm really torn with this book. There are things I really like about it. I like the fact that it wasn't simple, it was about an ordinary but smart girl figuring out how to like and respect herself, and that the love interest wasn't automatically requited. That said, the internal monologue of her looking down on herself went on for most of the book and I wanted to see that change earlier. The other side characters were frustrating and everyone seemed to go through a story trajectory at the same time. Almost too much was attempted and it seemed to wrap up too neatly at the end. Overall, I wasn't in love with it, but I liked aspects of it.

[Kristin · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Calculus of Change really resonated with me. The story chronicles the life of Aden and her relationships with others (living and departed), but most of the plot actually serves to show the relationship she has with herself.

I loved the short chapters. It took me a little while to get used to the writing style (e.g. a prepositional phrase is often used to represent an entire sentence). However, once I let the story fully captivate me, the music and the math elements of the story melded together to make the prose read like a lovely, exact melody and the way it was written made absolute sense.

I expected to read a love story and I was not disappointed. However, this book is not a formulaic, YA, love story--it's much more. If you are a teen or adult and enjoy reading books that incorporate humor to discuss topics like loss, family, regret, and overcoming self doubt, I recomment this short, easy read to you.

Note: I won this book as an advanced copy giveaway, but I am not required to post a review, do not have an affiliation with the author, and am not compensated for any good or bad reviews (only posting this note since my review date is prior to the official release date.)

[RivkaBelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This reminds me why I read YA; why we should all read a little more YA. Because growing into yourself and learning to embrace living in your own skin isn’t a teenage problem, it’s something we face in our twenties, in our thirties, and probably beyond. There are hard truths and harder situations handled here, and it feels real. Vulnerable but strong. And well-timed reading.

[Rendz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Me: Expects fluff.
Book: Imma just leave this hardcore stuff for you right here.
Me: Ouch.
Solid read. RTC

[Karen Upper · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked how 'math' was used as a pivotal jump off for the story! This was a great read and will hold definite appeal to any teen!

[KayCee K · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Calculus of Change by Jessie Hilb was refreshing. Yes, it's a YA Contemporary and yes it does have teen drama, but it's more than that.
.
.
Overall, this was a strong read for me that brought both smiles and saddened too. Yes, it was filled with characters making bad choices but everyone makes bad choices, small or big and they all have an effect. The title of this book could be any better.

Full review, with spoilers, will be live on my blog Feb 4st.
http://wonderstruck-kcks.blogspot.com

I received a NetGalley ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. This doesn't in any way influence my opinion on it. So, this is a 100% honest review by me.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good family/friendship relationship drama for fans of Sarah Dessen, Deb Caletti, etc. about falling in love with the wrong person and reconnecting broken families.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was beautiful, and the ending was perfect.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Calculus of Change is a coming of age novel about a high school student, Aden, who learns to observe herself, her thoughts and her actions in a way that allows her to understand what she wants and needs out of life and the people surrounding her, which is something that many adults have not begun to master. Aden’s honesty with herself and with those she loves makes her endearing and relatable to the reader. We’ve all be there in some way, shape or form and recognizing our own feelings in her experiences and mistakes allows the reader to observe themselves better as well.

One thing I appreciate about The Calculus of Change is the way anyone reading this novel can see themselves in one or several of the characters. This isn’t just a novel about a young girl discovering her strength and sense of self, it’s a novel about every character doing the same. Even Aden’s father grows and changes through small, careful steps forward. Or Mr. Danson through taking responsibility for his actions. It’s not just the young that have the chance to grow.

While many difficult and life-changing events happen throughout the book, by the end, most of the main characters are left with a sense of hope. Even when they have a battle ahead of them, they, especially Aden, seem to come to the conclusion that they’re going to be okay even if everything doesn’t go the way they wish it would, which is a pretty good way of living.

[Jen Selinsky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aden has been missing her mother for over ten years. Her dad has been raising Aden and her younger brother since their mother’s death. Aden is now a senior in high school and struggles to remember the mother whom she hardly got to know. Aden also began tutoring one of her classmates, Tate, for whom she develops feelings. And though her love is unrequited, she can’t help but think that he is leading her on. Aden also struggles with her image; she wishes she could become thinner so that Tate will be attracted to her. On top of all this, Aden also worries about her brother and father, both of whom seem to be treading on thin ice. Despite all this, however, Aden is determined live her life. This honest, yet hopeful novel tells the story about a young woman who deigns to persevere against adversity.

[Cali · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sweet story. It took a bit to get into, but once I got rolling and started to connect to the characters, I was hooked. Well-written and easy to read.

[Jacqueline · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was really excited for this book, because even though I'm not really that great at calculus, I still like the idea of it, and I was hoping I'd be able to really relate to the main character, Aden, through her love of calculus. I imagined myself reading about how Aden was working on differentiation by substitution, or the mean value theorem for integrals, and thinking "Ooooh, I know that!" I realize that probably sounds really nerdy but oh, well. The sad part is, though, that for a book with an integral on the cover and calculus in the name, there really wasn't a whole lot of calculus involved. There was talk about calculus class a little bit, and Aden tutored Tate (the love interest) in calculus, and there were a few x's and y's in there, but that's pretty much it. I suppose maybe that was done for those people who really hate math, so they could still enjoy the story, but I think there are ways it could've been done without being boring. I think this bugged me so much partly because our English class a few months ago read and wrote essays where we took a physical thing and used it as a metaphor to help explain something intangible, e.g. calculus to explain/represent change, and carried the metaphor throughout the whole piece. So that's what I was expecting here, and in the end it didn't really seem to be much about calculus or change.

The second thing I expected this to be when I picked it up, was about Aden and Tate's relationship. While I can't say that wasn't included, because it very much was, it seemed like the story centered around it, but it felt like maybe it shouldn't have. Compared to everything else that went on, their relationship felt sort of insignificant, except the author wanted it to be significant. Those things don't really make the story terrible, it just means that the cover and the blurb on the back of the book are kind of misleading.

Meanwhile, I really liked the parts about Aden's mother, father, brother, and best friend. I don't mean I like everything that happened, but I liked the development of the characters and Aden's relationships with them as she learns she can let go (she's always been the person they all depend upon, possibly too much) and not actually leave them at the same time. The main focus of the book was really, I think, Aden's self image. She's always criticizing her looks, comparing herself to others, and throughout the story, she's working on being happy with herself, which felt like a really empowering message that the summary really should've been more about. I think I would have liked it a little more if I had known what it was actually going to be about from the start, because it really was a pretty good story.

The only other major problem was that it felt really unfinished at the end. I was actually even nearing the end and turned a page and was completely shocked to see "Acknowledgements" at the top where the next chapter title should've been. I don't mean that in a mean way, I just think the author was ready for the book to be over, but the story wasn't ready to end yet. I think it had to do with just having too many topics in one book, that not everything finished at the same time. When I'm writing this right now, I'm imagining a friendship bracelet made with multiple colors of thread, but when you finish it and look at the ends, some threads are shorter than the others, even though they were all the same length when you started. I'm thinking that might've been what happened here. But I want to be clear (because I feel bad about how much I've picked on this book) that none of this means this is a bad author, or a bad story; it's pretty good considering it's her first book. In fact, I plan to continue reading more of her books when they come out.

[Mina · Rating 3 out of 5]

"I hate that my memories of her are fading, replaced by monents in time that I don't know if I remember. I hate that the essence of her is trickling out of me day by day, year by year. The older I get, the farther away she is. So often I wonder, "What would my mom have said or done?""

"So missing my mom and needing her coalesce in me until I can't tell which is which. But it doesn't matter because sometimes, all I can do is surrender to the pain of her absence and the pieces of me that wil never be fulfilled."

[diana · Rating 3 out of 5]

I expected this to be a light-hearted book with the usual teenage angst and swoony romance. Boy was I surprised when I got so much more than I anticipated.

The Calculus of Change deals with a lot of real life, heavy issues. From drug abuse and sexual assault to teenage pregnancy and self-image, this book is thought-provoking with its raw honesty.
Aden was an interesting character. I admit I didn't get her at first and found her quite annoying but throughout the book as I got to know her and understand her better she grew on me.

The Calculus of Change is a poignant novel that deals with timely, important issues. My one complaint is that I didn't feel like the author gave some of the issues the gravity they deserved. Some were handled well but others were brushed off like they didn't mean anything and had no impact in the characters' lives at all. It really bothered me.

[Emily Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

The main character, Aden, is probably my favorite character from any book I’ve ever read. To me, she is what represents being a strong woman. She doesn’t pretend she knows it all and she takes the time to figure out what is right and what is wrong for her. Sometimes we are all faced with tough choices, and it is often easy to ignore those and let ourselves float through life. Aden faces those tough choices head on and makes the decisions that are best for her, because she understands that doing nothing is just prolonging the inevitable. She is able to decipher between what she wants and what she actually needs. She is a character to really look up to and this has easily become one of my favorite books.

[Skyler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aden didn't plan on falling in love during her senior year of high school; what she planned on was getting good grades, and going to college. That was her plan until she met Tate. With Tate, Aden suddenly felt more alive than she's ever felt before, she doesn't feel sad about her mother's death, or mad at her father. She just feels good. That is until her heart gets broken.



I really like how the book was written. It was all broken apart but at the same time, it was all together.

[Laura Ellis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read it in one day and got lost in it. Aden's relationship with Tate and with her friends and family felt familiar to me. I laughed at how real some of the scenes are--that stuff really happens in high school! Aden spent so much of her time loving others; I was happy and inspired when she had the courage to love herself.

[Caryn Lix · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful and inspirational story. It just sort of sneaks up on you and deals with so many issues in such a profound, amazing way. I identified so strongly with Aden. It was like being seventeen again. I can't recommend this one highly enough!