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In Memoriam
With one diagnosis, editor James Daniels learns that he's literally running out of time. Looking at his life, he sees one regret: Andy, the one that got away. Andy was the first man that James ever loved, but Andy has been gone for years, and might not want to be found.
But as his cancer progresses and James starts to lose his grip on time and memory, it might just be that time and memory are losing their grip on James, too.
It's the biggest and most important re-write of his life. Restoring love from nothing but memory might be possible, if the past isn't too far gone to fix.
But as his cancer progresses and James starts to lose his grip on time and memory, it might just be that time and memory are losing their grip on James, too.
It's the biggest and most important re-write of his life. Restoring love from nothing but memory might be possible, if the past isn't too far gone to fix.
Audiobook
First published October 18, 2016
1 person is currently reading
157 people want to read
About the author
'Nathan Burgoine
50 books460 followers'Nathan Burgoine grew up a reader and studied literature in university while making a living as a bookseller. His first published short story was "Heart" in the collection Fool for Love: New Gay Fiction. Since then, he has had dozens of short stories published, and despite being "the tall queer guy who writes mosly shorter queer fictions" novels have happened between the novellas and short stories.
A cat lover, 'Nathan managed to fall in love and marry Daniel, who is a confirmed dog person. Their ongoing "cat or dog?" détente ended with the rescue and adoption of huskies. They live in Ottawa, Canada, where socialized health care and gay marriage have yet to cause the sky to cave in.
You can find 'Nathan on the web at nathanburgoine.com.
A cat lover, 'Nathan managed to fall in love and marry Daniel, who is a confirmed dog person. Their ongoing "cat or dog?" détente ended with the rescue and adoption of huskies. They live in Ottawa, Canada, where socialized health care and gay marriage have yet to cause the sky to cave in.
You can find 'Nathan on the web at nathanburgoine.com.
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August 15, 2021Edit, August 15th, 2021: Hi all! Author here, being all authory. Super-chuffed to see In Memoriam up on this list of 26 favourite audios. Awesomesauce.
In Memoriam's rights were reverted back to me, and as of now, it's available on pretty much every e-tail platform (you can check for your fave via Books2Read). Pulling the book from KU was the only way to get it cross-platform, and given my Canuck audience (who are more likely to use Kobo) I'm pleased to be able to finally list it widely.
Even more excitingly, though? I was finally able to opt-out of the exclusivity thing from Audible and put it up on Libro.fm! Thanks again for your patience, and I am so very pleased to finally be able to offer up an audiobook on Libro.fm, where you can support local brick-and-mortar store with digital audios. (This isn't the end of my audio distribution, either; files are also being processed elsewhere, so if you have a favourite audiobook e-tailer, it may show up there soon, too.)
*
This is a single release of my novella, In Memoriam, which first appeared in Wilde City Press's On the Run: Tales of Gay Pursuit and Passion. The reason this one got a stand-alone release is incredibly exciting for me: it's releasing as an audiobook. As a lover of audiobooks, being able to offer one of my works that way is pretty freaking awesome.
As an idea of how I write, I'm not sure I could do any better than In Memoriam, so if you're wondering what I'm "about" or what sort of tone I generally use in my fiction, this is it. Second chances, a dose of something magic/psychic/other, chosen family, and—most importantly—in the face of what's horrible a solid sense of humour.
Oh. And smoochies with queer guys.
Also? Check out the cover. Said cover, from Inkspiral Book & Cover Design, will grace the audiobook and single e-book versions of In Memoriam, and it's so damn pretty. I love Inkspiral. You should, too.
I can't wait for folks to hear this one.
In Memoriam's rights were reverted back to me, and as of now, it's available on pretty much every e-tail platform (you can check for your fave via Books2Read). Pulling the book from KU was the only way to get it cross-platform, and given my Canuck audience (who are more likely to use Kobo) I'm pleased to be able to finally list it widely.
Even more excitingly, though? I was finally able to opt-out of the exclusivity thing from Audible and put it up on Libro.fm! Thanks again for your patience, and I am so very pleased to finally be able to offer up an audiobook on Libro.fm, where you can support local brick-and-mortar store with digital audios. (This isn't the end of my audio distribution, either; files are also being processed elsewhere, so if you have a favourite audiobook e-tailer, it may show up there soon, too.)
*
This is a single release of my novella, In Memoriam, which first appeared in Wilde City Press's On the Run: Tales of Gay Pursuit and Passion. The reason this one got a stand-alone release is incredibly exciting for me: it's releasing as an audiobook. As a lover of audiobooks, being able to offer one of my works that way is pretty freaking awesome.
As an idea of how I write, I'm not sure I could do any better than In Memoriam, so if you're wondering what I'm "about" or what sort of tone I generally use in my fiction, this is it. Second chances, a dose of something magic/psychic/other, chosen family, and—most importantly—in the face of what's horrible a solid sense of humour.
Oh. And smoochies with queer guys.
Also? Check out the cover. Said cover, from Inkspiral Book & Cover Design, will grace the audiobook and single e-book versions of In Memoriam, and it's so damn pretty. I love Inkspiral. You should, too.
I can't wait for folks to hear this one.
July 10, 2017
A lovely short story and so beautifully written too.
I just think the entire story has a poignant feel to it. Just when everything seems so hopeless and impossible, hope emerges through the gentle twists and turns of the story. I dont normally like stories that involve going back in time or a reversal of time but this was done so well that I was lost in the story and found myself hoping against hope for a good ending.
And oF course the story delivers, not in a predictable way but in a way that makes it seem as if I had gone on a dangerous pilgrimage and returned with riches and a quest fulfilled.
A lovely short story and one that will stay with me and which I shall read again.
I just think the entire story has a poignant feel to it. Just when everything seems so hopeless and impossible, hope emerges through the gentle twists and turns of the story. I dont normally like stories that involve going back in time or a reversal of time but this was done so well that I was lost in the story and found myself hoping against hope for a good ending.
And oF course the story delivers, not in a predictable way but in a way that makes it seem as if I had gone on a dangerous pilgrimage and returned with riches and a quest fulfilled.
A lovely short story and one that will stay with me and which I shall read again.
June 6, 2017
Achingly beautiful time-travel/playing with timelines #ownvoices gay romance.
"Hey, honey," she said. "You had a seizure."
"If it's a girl seizure, I'll name it after you."
Thus speaks James, the terminally-ill hero of Nathan Burgoine's In Memoriam, speaking to his lesbian bestie. This line reflects the dark humor of this beautiful paranormal gay romance, in which, close to the end of his life from undetected surprise cancer, he realizes his biggest regret is losing touch with That One Guy. As he begins to revisit the significant moments of his life via diaries, time blurs and he finds that he's begun getting chances to do things differently.
I'm at a point in my life where thinking about "what if I'd only done this instead" is somewhat distressing and self-destructive, but unless this describes you, check it out as soon as you can. It has wondrous poetry of a plot, characters who stood out and are easy to picture, and a beautiful resolution that I wasn't expecting.
Nothing is wrong with sex scenes in your gay fiction but, especially given the way m/m-with-graphic-sex-by-women dominates fiction about gay and bi cis men, sometimes it's nice and reassuring to find a love story about two men that both comes from a male pen and is also entirely focused on plot and romance without taking that extended pit stop in the boxers department (except to mention that sex was had.) Romance about a cis man and a cis woman comes with plenty of options both for and without sex and as a queer woman it gives me back my dignity a little whenever I am afforded the same choice, especially in a world that sometimes insists my chastest kisses are pornographic.
I loved Burgoine's other paranormal m/m short story "The Psychometry of Snow", so I'm glad to see something else like this from him. TW for brain tumors and the effects of them including losing time, as well as end-of-life thoughts.
"Hey, honey," she said. "You had a seizure."
"If it's a girl seizure, I'll name it after you."
Thus speaks James, the terminally-ill hero of Nathan Burgoine's In Memoriam, speaking to his lesbian bestie. This line reflects the dark humor of this beautiful paranormal gay romance, in which, close to the end of his life from undetected surprise cancer, he realizes his biggest regret is losing touch with That One Guy. As he begins to revisit the significant moments of his life via diaries, time blurs and he finds that he's begun getting chances to do things differently.
I'm at a point in my life where thinking about "what if I'd only done this instead" is somewhat distressing and self-destructive, but unless this describes you, check it out as soon as you can. It has wondrous poetry of a plot, characters who stood out and are easy to picture, and a beautiful resolution that I wasn't expecting.
Nothing is wrong with sex scenes in your gay fiction but, especially given the way m/m-with-graphic-sex-by-women dominates fiction about gay and bi cis men, sometimes it's nice and reassuring to find a love story about two men that both comes from a male pen and is also entirely focused on plot and romance without taking that extended pit stop in the boxers department (except to mention that sex was had.) Romance about a cis man and a cis woman comes with plenty of options both for and without sex and as a queer woman it gives me back my dignity a little whenever I am afforded the same choice, especially in a world that sometimes insists my chastest kisses are pornographic.
I loved Burgoine's other paranormal m/m short story "The Psychometry of Snow", so I'm glad to see something else like this from him. TW for brain tumors and the effects of them including losing time, as well as end-of-life thoughts.
May 26, 2017
“That isn’t funny, James.” His exasperation was music to my ears. I felt them wheeling me away, lights passing overhead, bursts of white against my eyes.
“I’m laughing anyway.”
* * *
...I usually begin a book review (if I liked it!) with a favorite quote. With this one, another one popped into my head. Like the story itself, it's hard to get out of my head.
"If life ain't just a joke, then why are we laughing?"
- My Chemical Romance, "Dead!"
That sure is the question, and IN MEMORIAM might be as good an answer as I've found yet.
First of all, I nabbed this one for free (thank you, Twitter!) and it turned out to be an even more incredible bargain than I originally thought. This one is very short, but packs a hell of a punch on the illness rep, romance, AND writing style fronts. It stays with you.
First off, major warning for unreality, dissociation/hallucinations/mental deterioration, inconsistent narration - but not in a bad way, or even an "unreliable narrator" way. Our MC is doing his best to keep everything straight, but... he's having a pretty hard time, given the obvious. Equally obviously, warning for cancer, medical trauma and discussion of death.
That said, this is a starkly raw and emotional look at (what MAY be) someone's last days as he tries to make sense of his life and the people in it. And the loss of people in it. The MC here has what might kind of be a unique opportunity - he's reliving his most important moments, but differently than they originally occurred. (Or are they?) He quickly comes to realize that although he may not be entirely certain which versions are real, some are definitely better than others.
Honestly this story is a bit hard to describe. It's about half to 2/3rds flashbacks, and it's all about trying to reconcile memory with reality, and how all of these disjointed parts all blend together to make... a person. A life. Meaning. Isn't that what so many stories are about at their core, the search for meaning, redemption and hope amongst chaos and despair? The conclusion here isn't clear-cut, but I do believe the protag here (and, hopefully, the writer/reader) did indeed find it.
And laughter. Sardonic and extremely gallows, but the humor in this is quick and extremely effective. And as the MC navigates this confusing, frightening new-old life... incredibly relatable.
Finally, IN MEMORIAM did precisely what I assume the job of every short-story freebie is: made me want to read more by this author. I don't believe it's a series (that would kind of spoil the intentionally-ambiguous ending, I think!), but if it's any indicator, I'm sure the rest won't disappoint.
“I’m laughing anyway.”
* * *
...I usually begin a book review (if I liked it!) with a favorite quote. With this one, another one popped into my head. Like the story itself, it's hard to get out of my head.
"If life ain't just a joke, then why are we laughing?"
- My Chemical Romance, "Dead!"
That sure is the question, and IN MEMORIAM might be as good an answer as I've found yet.
First of all, I nabbed this one for free (thank you, Twitter!) and it turned out to be an even more incredible bargain than I originally thought. This one is very short, but packs a hell of a punch on the illness rep, romance, AND writing style fronts. It stays with you.
First off, major warning for unreality, dissociation/hallucinations/mental deterioration, inconsistent narration - but not in a bad way, or even an "unreliable narrator" way. Our MC is doing his best to keep everything straight, but... he's having a pretty hard time, given the obvious. Equally obviously, warning for cancer, medical trauma and discussion of death.
That said, this is a starkly raw and emotional look at (what MAY be) someone's last days as he tries to make sense of his life and the people in it. And the loss of people in it. The MC here has what might kind of be a unique opportunity - he's reliving his most important moments, but differently than they originally occurred. (Or are they?) He quickly comes to realize that although he may not be entirely certain which versions are real, some are definitely better than others.
Honestly this story is a bit hard to describe. It's about half to 2/3rds flashbacks, and it's all about trying to reconcile memory with reality, and how all of these disjointed parts all blend together to make... a person. A life. Meaning. Isn't that what so many stories are about at their core, the search for meaning, redemption and hope amongst chaos and despair? The conclusion here isn't clear-cut, but I do believe the protag here (and, hopefully, the writer/reader) did indeed find it.
And laughter. Sardonic and extremely gallows, but the humor in this is quick and extremely effective. And as the MC navigates this confusing, frightening new-old life... incredibly relatable.
Finally, IN MEMORIAM did precisely what I assume the job of every short-story freebie is: made me want to read more by this author. I don't believe it's a series (that would kind of spoil the intentionally-ambiguous ending, I think!), but if it's any indicator, I'm sure the rest won't disappoint.
Read
May 25, 2017Beautiful, thoughtful little story. Made me cry, but in a good way. :)
May 14, 2017
For a short story, IN MEMORIAM feels so very large.
What if your life didn't happen the way you remember it did? What if the biggest regret of your life.. isn't? What can you trust when cancer eats away at everything you think you are.
Burgoine's story was so sweet and funny and heartbreaking and lovely. And I honestly don't know what to say about this that isn't already in the synopsis. Except : read this book.
4.5 "I edited books. I knew tragedy" stars
What if your life didn't happen the way you remember it did? What if the biggest regret of your life.. isn't? What can you trust when cancer eats away at everything you think you are.
Burgoine's story was so sweet and funny and heartbreaking and lovely. And I honestly don't know what to say about this that isn't already in the synopsis. Except : read this book.
4.5 "I edited books. I knew tragedy" stars
July 16, 2017
Some people can write a tome and not really tell a decent story, but then authors like 'Nathan Bourgoine can create an entire lifetime (or two) in a short work of fiction that cuts right to the soul. I'm so moved by this funny, heartbreaking, and poignant piece. It's masterfully crafted and makes me want to tell the people closest to me how much I treasure them. A must read. I'll not forget this story in a hurry. It might be the first work I've read from the author, but it won't be my last.
September 7, 2017
The story is short, so my review will be short. This was exactly what I needed to read but hadn't known it. I picked it up on recommendation of an acquaintance when I said I was looking for something outside the usual romance. That's exactly what it is.
There's definitely a love story woven in, but it doesn't unfold in the typical boy-meets-boy, happily ever after way. It's warm and funny despite a somewhat grim plot. And it has what I would consider an ambiguous ending. We're never quite sure where reality ends and fantasy begins (or perhaps the other way around) or what the outcome ultimately is. That's my kind of story.
It's so short that anything else I say would spoil all the surprises. I'll leave it at highly recommending it if you want something that you may still be mulling over long after you've finished. This might sound odd, but it's also just right if you felt like you needed a literary hug: smart but with heart.
For beautiful, intelligent writing, the right amount of humor vs. angst, and a perfect ending, this gets 5 stars.
There's definitely a love story woven in, but it doesn't unfold in the typical boy-meets-boy, happily ever after way. It's warm and funny despite a somewhat grim plot. And it has what I would consider an ambiguous ending. We're never quite sure where reality ends and fantasy begins (or perhaps the other way around) or what the outcome ultimately is. That's my kind of story.
It's so short that anything else I say would spoil all the surprises. I'll leave it at highly recommending it if you want something that you may still be mulling over long after you've finished. This might sound odd, but it's also just right if you felt like you needed a literary hug: smart but with heart.
For beautiful, intelligent writing, the right amount of humor vs. angst, and a perfect ending, this gets 5 stars.
November 3, 2021
I really liked this novella. I can’t write about it properly without spoilers I don’t think. But it reminded me quite strongly of the film Memento in the way it plays with time and memory. I couldn’t put it down, I was so invested in the main character’s story. I started off with one understanding of him and his life and by the time I got to the end that was all turned around like a Moibus Strip or an Esher drawing. I really enjoyed it.
December 10, 2017
I devoured this fairly short story somewhere between midnight and 1-2 am, getting immediately caught in the voice, the rhythm, and the peculiar, dark sense of humour. I very much relate to heavy, awkward jokes to lighten very hard and difficult moments (throwback to when I made a shitty pun in a hospital while my sister was crying from nurses not being to draw blood [j'ai dit qu'elle n'avait pas de veine, pour les francophones]).
Anyway. This was a wonderful and intriguing read, the length felt perfect for the story, and I'm glad I finally read something from 'Nathan. :)
A note, however: if you struggle with unreality or anything where what is real or not is unclear, this isn't a story for you. Be careful and keep yourselves safe <3
Anyway. This was a wonderful and intriguing read, the length felt perfect for the story, and I'm glad I finally read something from 'Nathan. :)
A note, however: if you struggle with unreality or anything where what is real or not is unclear, this isn't a story for you. Be careful and keep yourselves safe <3
November 30, 2016
I've been meaning to read some of this author's works since he was someone I enjoyed on the forums of BookCrossing back in the old days, and he has remained good friends with one of my dearest friends. This book turned the "meaning to" into "I'm glad I finally did". A great premise and story line, with James, faced with a terrible diagnosis and a very short time to live, faces the one regret in life he has about "the one that got away". I mean, who hasn't dreamed of the ultimate do-over?
Good writing, plus a good plot, characterization, and pace mean I will be seeking out more of 'Nathan Burgoine's writing.
Good writing, plus a good plot, characterization, and pace mean I will be seeking out more of 'Nathan Burgoine's writing.
May 14, 2018
Wow this short packs a punch. I don't want to give anything away it just needs to be read. No steam, lots of feels.
January 17, 2026
Excellent timey-wimey gay short story about a guy with some regrets when he finds out he's got brain cancer and only weeks to live. That sounds depressing but it's not. Maybe it's more depressing if you're one of these readers I see talking about how it's all ambiguous and it's not clear what's really happening. But I don't think that's the case at all. For my evidence, I present the fact the author has "Science Fiction" down as one of the genres he writes, and gesture vaguely at the rest of his work.
Minus points for describing someone as "tall and stocky" which makes as much sense as calling something a spherical cube. Check a few dictionaries people. That is my only criticism.
Minus points for describing someone as "tall and stocky" which makes as much sense as calling something a spherical cube. Check a few dictionaries people. That is my only criticism.
August 9, 2017
Very powerful story. Made me laugh and cry. Nathan Burgoine is an amazing author and this book proves it. I would recommend it to everyone.
February 22, 2018
I found this book thanks to the KrakenCollective’s personality test, where I was matched with James. I can see why: I have indeed heard the “not everything’s a joke” sentence a few times in my life. The need to lighten things up and make the people you care about laugh can easily be mistaken for not caring, while we’re simply coping. ‘Nathan Burgoine showed this masterfully.
I already knew I liked his writing, since I read “Handmade Holidays”, and this story proves it once again. It really is like reading a natural thought process, fluent, sometimes a little distorted, but always conveying just the right emotions. It was touching and beautiful.
Also, “I’m a smart ass, not smart. There’s a difference” is a line I’m definitely going to be using in daily life. So far for learning my lesson about the jokes ;)
I already knew I liked his writing, since I read “Handmade Holidays”, and this story proves it once again. It really is like reading a natural thought process, fluent, sometimes a little distorted, but always conveying just the right emotions. It was touching and beautiful.
Also, “I’m a smart ass, not smart. There’s a difference” is a line I’m definitely going to be using in daily life. So far for learning my lesson about the jokes ;)
dnf
September 14, 2017I don't know if I'll ever finish this. Too close to home.
February 17, 2018
It's nearly impossible to review this novella without spoilers, so let me just say this: James Daniels found a unique way to deal with the memory loss that accompanies his brain cancer, and said method is lovely and satisfying and heartwarming and sweet.
A beautiful piece of writing.
A beautiful piece of writing.
October 3, 2017
4.5 stars
Originally posted at For What It's Worth on 9/28/17: http://www.fwiwreviews.net/2017/09/re...
Clocking in at 46 pages, I wasn’t going to review In Memoriam on the blog. I mean, what can you say without spoiling only 46 pages of story?
However, I read In Memoriam back in August and I still keep thinking about it so I’ll do my best to give my thoughts without giving up the whole game.
James, a book editor, is diagnosed with brain cancer and only has a short time to live. His biggest regret is letting the love of his life, Andy, go. Through his journals he relives the romance and it’s end, while hiring someone to look for James before he dies.
You are never quite sure whether James is misrembering, dreaming an alternative reality as his mind deteriorates, or if he’s truly getting a second chance to rewrite history but it’s oddly compelling anyway. I wasn’t frustrated at all and just went for the ride.
I can see how this might not appeal to some. It’s a strange, trippy, non linear story that has very dark humor, a touch of magic/time travel and a hopeful but not entirely solid ending but I loved it.
There’s so much packed into those 46 pages and if you’re looking for something different, this is a quiet little story that is somehow still loud with it’s emotional impact, if that makes sense.
I’m not even sure I fully understand what happened but like I said – I’m still thinking about James months later.
Originally posted at For What It's Worth on 9/28/17: http://www.fwiwreviews.net/2017/09/re...
Clocking in at 46 pages, I wasn’t going to review In Memoriam on the blog. I mean, what can you say without spoiling only 46 pages of story?
However, I read In Memoriam back in August and I still keep thinking about it so I’ll do my best to give my thoughts without giving up the whole game.
James, a book editor, is diagnosed with brain cancer and only has a short time to live. His biggest regret is letting the love of his life, Andy, go. Through his journals he relives the romance and it’s end, while hiring someone to look for James before he dies.
You are never quite sure whether James is misrembering, dreaming an alternative reality as his mind deteriorates, or if he’s truly getting a second chance to rewrite history but it’s oddly compelling anyway. I wasn’t frustrated at all and just went for the ride.
I can see how this might not appeal to some. It’s a strange, trippy, non linear story that has very dark humor, a touch of magic/time travel and a hopeful but not entirely solid ending but I loved it.
There’s so much packed into those 46 pages and if you’re looking for something different, this is a quiet little story that is somehow still loud with it’s emotional impact, if that makes sense.
I’m not even sure I fully understand what happened but like I said – I’m still thinking about James months later.
January 10, 2017
This is only the third piece I've read from this author, and definitely my favourite.
It's also a story I don't want to say much about as it should be experienced without preconceived notions from a review.
Let me just say, it's beautiful.
It's also a story I don't want to say much about as it should be experienced without preconceived notions from a review.
Let me just say, it's beautiful.
January 29, 2022
Holy shit I just read the most magical thing ever.
Content warning for mc with cancer. This has time travel and it ends happily don't worry.
Content warning for mc with cancer. This has time travel and it ends happily don't worry.
June 17, 2017
This was a very interesting short story with fascinating premise that I enjoyed a lot but that I'm very torn about. I bought this book at random after some twitter recommendations and did the mistake of not checking what the book is actually about, which is something I do very often (most of the time, actually) and which is unarguably my own fault.
So when a friend (who I lend my kindle account to on occasion) told me I should absolutely read this book I had in my account for months, I did. And then I got very very violently triggered. Because what I failed to notice (again, obviously, by my own fault), is that the main character of this book has terminal cancer. Which is a deeply personal issue, since my own mum, whom I loved above everything, had terminal cancer and I was her primary caretaker during that time. It's been three years and I still cry myself to sleep some days. Cancer is something I don't deal with well at all.
So here comes the somewhat spoiler part: yes, the main hero gets diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Yes, he's dying. But, and this is the shocking part: he gets better. Thanks to the quirk of the plot, he gets better. He doesn't die and he gets a happy ending.
This book can actually be a very important example of why the mandatory HEA/HFN for romance novels is important. Because I knew the book would have a HEA (and trust me, I had no idea how exactly is that possible), I kept reading on, and yes, there it was, the HEA. If I didn't know the book would have a good end, I'd have stopped 20 percent in, because my mental state got so messed up. I wouldn't get any catharsis out of the book and would've spent days feeling like the worst kind of shit. And yes, again, me being stupid and not checking what the book is about is absolutely on me, but that's honestly the beauty of romance novels. Even when you're a dumbass, they have your back.
The story is one of regret, and doing something about it, and it was absolutely wonderful and the short lenght just strenghtened the impact it had
So when a friend (who I lend my kindle account to on occasion) told me I should absolutely read this book I had in my account for months, I did. And then I got very very violently triggered. Because what I failed to notice (again, obviously, by my own fault), is that the main character of this book has terminal cancer. Which is a deeply personal issue, since my own mum, whom I loved above everything, had terminal cancer and I was her primary caretaker during that time. It's been three years and I still cry myself to sleep some days. Cancer is something I don't deal with well at all.
So here comes the somewhat spoiler part: yes, the main hero gets diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Yes, he's dying. But, and this is the shocking part: he gets better. Thanks to the quirk of the plot, he gets better. He doesn't die and he gets a happy ending.
This book can actually be a very important example of why the mandatory HEA/HFN for romance novels is important. Because I knew the book would have a HEA (and trust me, I had no idea how exactly is that possible), I kept reading on, and yes, there it was, the HEA. If I didn't know the book would have a good end, I'd have stopped 20 percent in, because my mental state got so messed up. I wouldn't get any catharsis out of the book and would've spent days feeling like the worst kind of shit. And yes, again, me being stupid and not checking what the book is about is absolutely on me, but that's honestly the beauty of romance novels. Even when you're a dumbass, they have your back.
The story is one of regret, and doing something about it, and it was absolutely wonderful and the short lenght just strenghtened the impact it had
May 17, 2021
Audio: 3.75⭐️
Lovely, heartbreaking and poignantly real even in its unreality. From the first few sentences, this short gem latched on to my heartstrings and my dark humor bone and had me laughing and tearing up in equal measure. To me, one of the marks of a truly well-written piece with an unreliable narrator and variable timeline is that by the end, you don’t really care about what’s “real” or “true”. All the events, memories etc. are true and false, happened but didn’t - they are the literary equivalent of superposition.
Lovely, heartbreaking and poignantly real even in its unreality. From the first few sentences, this short gem latched on to my heartstrings and my dark humor bone and had me laughing and tearing up in equal measure. To me, one of the marks of a truly well-written piece with an unreliable narrator and variable timeline is that by the end, you don’t really care about what’s “real” or “true”. All the events, memories etc. are true and false, happened but didn’t - they are the literary equivalent of superposition.
December 29, 2024
When I started this story I was already digging it a lot. I thought "even if this is just the narrator coming to terms with his demise, I'm still going to like this book", the writing is just so good: thoughtful and funny. But luckily it's not just about that, it's also a love story and a bit of something else too, with a somewhat ambiguous ending that allows people to have their own takes of the story. And whenever a short story is not too short, I'm impressed. I would always welcome more but the tale told here is impactful and whole.
May 19, 2020
Nnngghhhh I loved this so much! Short and sweet second-chance romance, with a well-developed cast of characters, even with only 40-odd pages. Books like this are the reason I love short stories so much.
The audio performance . . . Well. The production was a little off due to inadequate echo control, and the female characters' voices were not well done. Still, I think this is the type of story that lends itself well to audio format, even though the execution was less than perfect.
The audio performance . . . Well. The production was a little off due to inadequate echo control, and the female characters' voices were not well done. Still, I think this is the type of story that lends itself well to audio format, even though the execution was less than perfect.
January 14, 2020
Nathan Burgoine’s novella about a dying man and his wonky brain manages to side step sadness and depression and make the reader begin to wonder - is this Sci-Fi, is the original reality real? Fascinating story I could not put down, Nathan continues to be one of my favorite newly discovered fiction writers.
May 11, 2017
quite short, quite sweet, quite sad, quite nice and actually a little confusing. This story is about the choices we make in our lives and the turns it takes because of those choices. The question: what would have been if...?
3.5 stars
3.5 stars
January 4, 2018
Woah. Super interesting. Bitter and sweet, twisting, unsettling, and weirdly hopeful in a way that kept me reading. Can't wait to read more of his longer works (have only read shorts so far).
April 3, 2022
*4.5/5 stars
June 24, 2018
Many of my favorite romances are, at their core, quite sad - and this is no exception. I loved this small story of one man's chance to re-do his life's major regrets.
January 17, 2021
This was an unexpected, but interesting twist on a brain tumor condition. Possible spoiler *for readers who is concerned with non HEA endings, you can safely read this story*.
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