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Redeeming Conflict: 12 Habits for Christian Leaders
It seems conflict can be a blessing. But Catholic theologian and conflict mediator Ann M. Garrido identifies conflict as a potentially fruitful exchange that arises from living and working together in the diverse world God created. Garrido, author of the bestselling Redeeming Administration , offers twelve practical habits for responding to conflict, pairs each habit with a spiritual companion from history, and offers questions and prayers for growth.
In Redeeming Conflict , Ann Garrido explains that conversion comes through conversation, that there is a difference between “the truth” and “my truth,” and that you should be curious and practice “Pentecost listening”—or empathic listening—even if you think something is way off base.
Garrido will help Christian leaders discover how to speak directly with colleagues about tensions and about how to know themselves well enough to keep from becoming defensive in the face of negative feedback.
She uses saintly examples to illustrate her points, calling upon stories of St. Francis and a Muslim sultan, Leo the Great, Archbishop Óscar Romero, and Our Lady, Undoer of Knots. Garrido also offers sample exercises and tools to work through conflict within an organization and provides self-assessment questions and a prayer at the end of each chapter to help apply it to your personal and professional life. A small group discussion guide and a parish resource guide, which features homily and bulletin aids are available as a free downloads for the book.
Redeeming Conflict was a 2017 winner of the Association of Catholic Publishers Excellence in Publishing Resources for Ministry (Second Place) and Honorable Mention in the 2017 Catholic Press Association Book Professional Books.
In Redeeming Conflict , Ann Garrido explains that conversion comes through conversation, that there is a difference between “the truth” and “my truth,” and that you should be curious and practice “Pentecost listening”—or empathic listening—even if you think something is way off base.
Garrido will help Christian leaders discover how to speak directly with colleagues about tensions and about how to know themselves well enough to keep from becoming defensive in the face of negative feedback.
She uses saintly examples to illustrate her points, calling upon stories of St. Francis and a Muslim sultan, Leo the Great, Archbishop Óscar Romero, and Our Lady, Undoer of Knots. Garrido also offers sample exercises and tools to work through conflict within an organization and provides self-assessment questions and a prayer at the end of each chapter to help apply it to your personal and professional life. A small group discussion guide and a parish resource guide, which features homily and bulletin aids are available as a free downloads for the book.
Redeeming Conflict was a 2017 winner of the Association of Catholic Publishers Excellence in Publishing Resources for Ministry (Second Place) and Honorable Mention in the 2017 Catholic Press Association Book Professional Books.
289 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 11, 2016
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
July 29, 2021
Phenomenal book on conflict in, and out, of Christian community. Garrido nails it on the head discussing how we as Christians approach conflict as inherently sinful when it is actually necessary for growth. Definitely recommend to anyone who is involved in any kind of ministry work!
March 7, 2016
Noverim me; noverim te. (May I know who I am; may I know who you are) writes St. Augustine, this is one of the many snippets of Christian Spirituality that you will find in Ann Garrido’s, Redeeming Conflict: 12 Habits for Christian Leaders. Yet these snippets of Christian Spirituality and history is a great backdrop to assist with helping Christians integrate a more “nuanced theology of conflict.” Similar to her previous work, Redeeming Administration, Garrido introduces us to 12 different stories within the Christian tradition to help express the process. There are reflection questions with each section and a prayer. These 12 practices serve as a theological reflection from her work with the Triad Consulting group and relationship with the Harvard Negotiation Project.
At the heart of this project is the desire to assist the Christian community to “grow in its capacity for and enjoyment of the relationships in our lives, because that is what we are made for from all eternity.” In these 12 habits, the focus is on what you can do as a person and is not necessarily dependent on the others response, but for you to become more aware of your own. The habits to address conflict can be seen as part of the process for our own ongoing conversion and the “question marks that trouble our minds are not threats to be feared nor problems to be dismissed with a shrug, but rather the crooked finger of God beckoning us to draw nearer.” Recognizing that we are made for community and that while we have a voice to offer in the community there is a need for each of us as Christians to find ways to be more curious about the other, a true gift of hospitality and a true witness to the human dignity we all share. This book gives some great and fresh examples of ways to understand what is going on within yourself as well an understanding of what is happening when conflict arises and ways in which we can respond from within a Christian context.
I am grateful for this addition to the dialogue around conflict and negotiation, especially shedding new light on a way in which we might handle conflict that is reflective of the Christian tradition. All Christian disciples would benefit greatly from the reflection and habits as a means to better integrate our Christian Identity with the work we do each day, however, some of the examples might be tough for a person who is not associated with the work of a parish or formal ministry might have to re-interpret for their own context. The mission of the Church and the disciple is to go out and tell the Good News in ways that creates a greater communion transforming our communities. How we handle conflict, within ourselves, our communities and our ministries is an opportunity to share the Gospel message of transformation with those with whom we are privilege to share the journey. Garrido’s contribution to giving disciples the tools assist us in living a “participation in the Trinitarian life—a share in God’s own utterly relational life. To put it another way, “the good” for which we are meant is communion in diversity. … It does not mean that any one conversation is going to get us to our desired destiny, nor does it mean there is only one way to get there. But it does mean making sure our choices about next steps are in step with the end we want.”
At the heart of this project is the desire to assist the Christian community to “grow in its capacity for and enjoyment of the relationships in our lives, because that is what we are made for from all eternity.” In these 12 habits, the focus is on what you can do as a person and is not necessarily dependent on the others response, but for you to become more aware of your own. The habits to address conflict can be seen as part of the process for our own ongoing conversion and the “question marks that trouble our minds are not threats to be feared nor problems to be dismissed with a shrug, but rather the crooked finger of God beckoning us to draw nearer.” Recognizing that we are made for community and that while we have a voice to offer in the community there is a need for each of us as Christians to find ways to be more curious about the other, a true gift of hospitality and a true witness to the human dignity we all share. This book gives some great and fresh examples of ways to understand what is going on within yourself as well an understanding of what is happening when conflict arises and ways in which we can respond from within a Christian context.
I am grateful for this addition to the dialogue around conflict and negotiation, especially shedding new light on a way in which we might handle conflict that is reflective of the Christian tradition. All Christian disciples would benefit greatly from the reflection and habits as a means to better integrate our Christian Identity with the work we do each day, however, some of the examples might be tough for a person who is not associated with the work of a parish or formal ministry might have to re-interpret for their own context. The mission of the Church and the disciple is to go out and tell the Good News in ways that creates a greater communion transforming our communities. How we handle conflict, within ourselves, our communities and our ministries is an opportunity to share the Gospel message of transformation with those with whom we are privilege to share the journey. Garrido’s contribution to giving disciples the tools assist us in living a “participation in the Trinitarian life—a share in God’s own utterly relational life. To put it another way, “the good” for which we are meant is communion in diversity. … It does not mean that any one conversation is going to get us to our desired destiny, nor does it mean there is only one way to get there. But it does mean making sure our choices about next steps are in step with the end we want.”
February 16, 2018
Excellent, practical book on how we approach conflicts, both in our personal lives but also in our professional work. Short, applicable chapters help the reader absorb the content and help you relate the techniques to your own life. I feel like this book is a meditation of the soul that is seeking peace beyond what the world can offer. Fantastic, insightful author.
December 16, 2022
The sub-title is "12 Habits for Christian Leaders." It should be: "...for Christians." I don't care whether you're a church/Christian LEADER or not, you would do well to read this book. There are other books out there teaching good conflict management and resolution, some of which Garrido references, but this specific book teaches about Christian tradition and understandings of various themes related to conflict: forgiveness, truth, belonging, right and wrong. So even if you've read other works on the subject, Garrido's is still a useful addition to a Christian's library.
Though the book feels like commonsense by the end, and you may find yourself skimming the last couple of chapters, there are plenty of useful suggestions and hypothetical conversations that it's worthwhile paying attention to all throughout. What I most enjoy are the companion stories accompanying each chapter, as Garrido tries to highlight some historical episode of real-life Christians living out the concepts.
Though the book feels like commonsense by the end, and you may find yourself skimming the last couple of chapters, there are plenty of useful suggestions and hypothetical conversations that it's worthwhile paying attention to all throughout. What I most enjoy are the companion stories accompanying each chapter, as Garrido tries to highlight some historical episode of real-life Christians living out the concepts.
December 4, 2023
Honestly really enjoyed this book and it has a lot of great ideas and practical advice. It can sometimes get a little slow, but the chapters are short enough that getting through one isn’t a problem. I think everyone should take some time to read this, as it has great tools and ideas to help guide people through conflict instead of avoiding it.
December 27, 2017
Great thoughts!
I teach at a Catholic High School, my wife and I have been married for 40 years, we have four children, AND I am turning back to the first page to read it again!
I teach at a Catholic High School, my wife and I have been married for 40 years, we have four children, AND I am turning back to the first page to read it again!
September 15, 2019
Plan to pick up again in the future.
December 8, 2025
Essential
September 11, 2016
A very engaging and very important work on conflict. The author offers twelve habits - not mere practices - that can help in the midst of conflict. Her combination of theory and practice, with the inclusion of a person who used the habit in the face of conflict, make this a very useful book for all of us.
I want to re-read this with a few friends who work on Alternatives to Conflict or Transforming Conflict to see how we can use this in the face of a conflictive and even violent society.
The faith-based perspective is well balanced and definitely welcome.
Highly recommended.
I want to re-read this with a few friends who work on Alternatives to Conflict or Transforming Conflict to see how we can use this in the face of a conflictive and even violent society.
The faith-based perspective is well balanced and definitely welcome.
Highly recommended.
December 28, 2025
Great meditations and advice on managing conflict in a faith-filled manner.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews