La forza della gentilezza. Pensare e agire con il cuore fa bene al corpo e allo spirito

by Piero Ferrucci

Essere gentili conviene: fa bene alla salute, guadagna simpatie, crea intorno un clima positivo e sereno. Il vero tornaconto della gentilezza, tuttavia, sta proprio nell'essere gentili. La gentilezza, infatti, dà un senso e un valore alla nostra esistenza, ci fa dimenticare i guai quotidiani e sentire bene con noi stessi. Piero Ferrucci mostra in questo libro, frutto di ricerche scientifiche, ricco di aneddoti tratti dalla sua esperienza di psicoterapeuta e punteggiato di rimandi a fiabe e racconti delle più varie tradizioni, che una qualità "inattuale" come la gentilezza può rivelare un potere dirompente soprattutto nell'epoca odierna, in cui i rapporti fra esseri umani sono sempre meno autentici e sempre più formali.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Spirituality, Personal Development, Audiobook, Philosophy

225 pages, Paperback

First published November 30, 2005

About the author

Piero Ferrucci is a psychotherapist and a philosopher. He graduated from the University of Torino in 1970.

Reviews

[Antigone · Rating 2 out of 5]

Piero Ferrucci is a psychotherapist and philosopher. He lives, and one assumes practices, in Italy. He has written many books. The Power of Kindness was the one most well-received, deserving here of a tenth anniversary edition. His footprints fall on a bright and ludicrously optimistic day into those made by Gibran, Rumi, Yalom...such has been the tenor of the acclaim. The Dalai Lama, even, has a front-cover blurb. (There are Buddhist leanings, and His Holiness has contributed the preface.) It is hard to imagine a more solid affirmation of the potential value of a work on this subject.

We begin with kindness as a virtue, then extend to chapters extolling the elements Ferrucci cites as scaffolding for the practice of authentic kindness. Honesty. Harmlessness. Warmth. Forgiveness. And fifteen more - each a short essay and analysis of the component; these traits and flexibilities illuminated by myth, literature and personal anecdote to weave each thread into his philosophic whole. The voice is measured, the style instructive, the content easily accessible.

And from start to finish, stem to stern, I found the thing thoroughly infuriating.

I should be kinder about hubris, I really should. I might be a better person if I allowed that some certain others, on their quest to evolve, need these mid-flight outcroppings on which to perch for a moment in all-knowingness; to indulge, just for an instant, in pontification and patronization - so much of the journey demanding, as it does, the sort of selflessness that is genuinely difficult to bear. How is it possible to blame a man for gathering his old cloak of mastery around him and warming his ego just a bit?

I should be kinder about hubris.

I will try to work on this.

[Jodi Maples, MSW, LSW · Rating 4 out of 5]

As I deal with a bit of back-stabbing and the bitterness in my stomach grows, it is this book that helps me strengthen the filter in my brain & NOT actually say the evil thoughts running through my head. It reminds me that compassion is a good thing, that the person not treating me kindly is probably in a very bad place herself. It helps me to remember to "Rise above it all."

[S · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is a little conflicting for me. It has some wisdom in it, a lot of stories and metaphors, and a few references to the studies it mentions.

I enjoyed the stories, but in a book that is talking about the outcomes that will occur from actions you take (e.g. being kind will make you & others happier), I like to see a bit more research on the subject (including references to the studies) and a lot less anecdotal evidence.

That being said, there were some good bits of wisdom in there and it was an easy read. I just prefer my non-fiction books, when they're trying to make a specific point, to have a bit more compelling evidence.

Read if you're looking for some motivational stories & metaphors, but be wary that the science might be less than concrete.

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

or... Cute Stuff My Son Said in the Car the Other Day.
Okay, so to be totally honest. I haven't READ this book. I picked it up for a book club, and sat down to read it, filled with giddy anticipation that it might be like Field Notes on the Compassionate Life (which I LOVED) and instead, I quickly realized that it is just a bunch of shlocky maple syrup doused over whipped cream. I began skimming over pages of sentimentalism and then starting flipping. No matter where I turned, it was still mumbo jumbo anecdotes and stories about the funny thing his son said to him on the way to school or at breakfast and wise old sayings and this one time..... If you are on heavy sedatives, Vicodin would be a good choice, or plagued by nightmares and take a sleeping narcotic, this might make for a decent audiobook.

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was in the need for a spiritual type read and this one hit the spot. It helped re-ground me as I have become too busy and too rushed to really take things in. This reminded me that i talk too much and don't listen enough. It also reaffirmed my belief of the importance of being kind and continuing to give. Good book for my life right now.

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This started out as a 2 star read. The author was taking his views of kindness and supporting it with everything from fiction to history, and fables to ad campaigns. While I can appreciate a certain amount of ingenuity, it seemed like the author was trying to make mere kindness sound like it was elusive.

However, once, I got through the first part where he was trying to explain everything, I felt more impressed with the true message behind his words. And that I could appreciate. I also liked his use of word in his descriptions....they were chosen with preciseness and economy, which are two talents I love to see.

[Walter · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book! It is so full of wisdom that, paradoxically, it's almost a challenge to read and process all of its insight. Piero Ferrucci, the author, is a practicing psychiatrist in Italy who uses kindness as a metaphor to explore the qualities/aspects that make a fulfilling life. In the process, he examines various aspects of kindness - from Honesty to Forgiveness to Trust to Humility to Service, etc. - including how and why they are relevant, how we should conceive of and use them in our own lives, etc. In so doing, he takes on a journey of who we all wish we could and should be, often approaching familiar subjects in new and unexpected ways.

For example, Ferrucci's take on Patience begins with an Ethiopian folk tale, moves on to a rumination of how difficult people can be softened/turned around by unexpectedly kind treatment, then reflects on the modern tendency to "leave our souls behind" and engages in an extended consideration of the concept of time, including a very interesting application of Buber's I-Thou/I-It rubric. Along the way, he challenges us thoughtfully to examine what we believe both generally and about ourselves and then shows us alternatives that will make us both more kind specifically and better people generally.

There are a few interesting juxtapositions in the book that lessen its impact somewhat, but these are minor in both extent and consequence. For example, in an aside in the Memory chapter, he recounts a story of being asked for directions by a woman seeking food for her child, but his response - he judges her and then chooses not to assist her - seems less than kind. This proves that the author is human, but, thankfully, is such a rare occurence that it is noteworthy only because it contrasts so greatly.

In summary, I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone - we can all benefit from its piercing insights and its very helpful guidance. Ferrucci has written a classic. I, for one, value it so highly that I intend to read it again from time to time to keep its lessons fresh and top of mind.

[Hagar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book!
I think this is one of the books that has everything to do with timing. Had I read it a couple of years ago, I think I’d have found it rather dull and stating the obvious. But the fact that I read this book at this point of my life made it really helpful. It felt like some compassionate voice reminding me of all the ways to be kind, the small things & the big things, and also all the reasons one should be kind, to others surely, but to one’s self as well.
The entire book felt like a pat on the shoulder, it kind of is associated with my journey to rediscover myself, and it helped me reconnect with my kinder, more compassionate, more empathetic self once more. A connection that has been cut for almost a year now actually.
Also I read some of the chapters of this book by the sea, and it made me feel like the world is a little bit more beautiful, more tender, and more peaceful than I’d have anticipated. Idk the exact reason why, but sth about the whole experience of me reading this book felt like magic. And for that I’m grateful.

[Cheyenne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a great book to dip into whenever you feel cranky, frustrated, angry, etc. It reminds you of those qualities (patience, generosity, flexibility) that are fundamental to any relationship, at home, at work—anywhere. It goes beyond self-help anecdotes to offer some fascinating science and compelling evidence behind what makes people thrive. I read it on and off for a couple months. And then I gave my copy to someone else. I asked them to give it to someone else when they were done.

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved listening to this audiobook. Highly recommend.
I love a book that improves my life and self, and this one was very enjoyable to listen to and immediately applicable. After only listening to it once or twice, I already found several applications and put it to use in my life.
I went back and got a copy to highlight all the quotes and insights that I liked the first time while listening.
The first chapter on honesty was so good. Such a great foundation for kindness.
I liked the variety of sources, cultures, and religions for supporting anecdotes. I liked his references to studies and his clinical experiences.
Not a book that you should plow through in a few sittings. Lots to think about, and would be better to do a chapter at a time.
Make sure to listen/read the whole thing, including the preface, introduction, conclusion, and exercises at the end. Make sure you get the tenth anniversary edition as well. (Or the most current edition.)

[Sabrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be required reading for every human being.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book many years ago but only pulled it off my shelf to read recently. Perhaps I felt the world needed kindness even more in 2020 or perhaps quarantine finally gave me the time to devote to it. Whatever inspired me to choose this book from among the many others on my shelf (so many books, so little time), I'm glad I did. It is a lovely, thoughtful, and wise study of the many qualities that make up true kindness (no superficial sentimentality here) that somehow manages to be both challenging and inspiring at the same time. I found myself re-reading some of the passages and was struck again by the simple truth in them that, nevertheless, I had missed as I hurried about my life. I found myself wishing that I could simply talk with this author, soaking up his ability to make the mundane meaningful and to see the soul's beauty in the most ordinary of acts. And I found myself wanting, really wanting, to be a more compassionate person, simply for the sake of bringing joy to a jaded and exhausted world.

I recommend this book to absolutely everybody. Time spent reading it will not be wasted. You will find wisdom in its pages that will be a gift to you that will resonate through your entire life. (And to my Goodreads friends who, like me, enjoy starting the morning with something nurturing and inspirational, this book would be an excellent choice!)

[Chalay Cragun · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this. Everything in it rang true to me and I loved how it didn't seem preachy. Ferrucci did such a wonderful job incorporating so many different types of personal stories, evidence based research, different cultures and religions. It really feels like a book anyone, any part of the world can read and have so much to gain. Definitely one I will be coming back to every few years.

[Katla María · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5*

[James · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really like his message and agree entirely with his points, but it could have been so, so much shorter. His elaboration amounted to talking past the sale on many of his points, and his examples were often so contrived as to become hard to identify with. I'd say it was approximately half of the qualities that he covers that either carried on too long, or used obscure anecdotes that unintentionally trivialized the points.

And here I am, in the ironic position of unkindly reviewing a book about kindness. To be clear though, I did not mind his points, or him as an author. But if someone had told me the way the writing would pan out, I'd much more happily simply watch an interview with him, or read a much more summarized piece by him.

[Jessica Jarrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe this book should be read every morning for the rest of your life; every chapter has a little excerpt by which to refocus your attention and realign your positive energy with the universe. It is not a book to be read quickly and put on the bookshelf as "finished." It is a book to be read slowly and digested just as carefully until you can in grain it's knowledge into your soul. It is a book about life long learning which can answer some of the most pressing questions about the nature of humanity. One may never be finished reading it, just as one may never be finished learning.

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you can be anything, be kind.

I sort of listened to this, found myself zoning a bit since it isn’t a real story, but goes through different things of kindness in our lives (joy, service, generosity, gratitude etc). Good reminder of how kindness can change the world and change your health and well being.

[Amanda Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is, in my opinion, a book anyone could read and benefit from. I listened to the audiobook and truly enjoyed it. I particularly enjoyed the honesty, empathy and gratitude chapters. I appreciated the author’s real-life examples from others as well as his own experiences. The book was easy to follow and gave me so many ideas of ways I can improve and apply to my life. Everyone should read it!

[charlie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I dipped in and out of this for over a year. I really got into it recently and really enjoyed the different chapters, stories, mythology used to explain the different facets of kindness. A book i'll keep and come back to over the years.

[Jeff Giuliano · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a terrible book, not a great book. The author uses stories and fables to illustrate his points about kindness. He separates kindness into 18 different attributes. It's a little lengthy and cumbersome but not a terrible read.

[Gabbi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the type of book everyone should read once a year, at least. It's so easy to understand and apply to daily life. I felt optimistic every time I opened it. It's beautiful.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Annual read

This is a book I’ll want to read annually. So much truth and wisdom- I’ll need much more time to soak it in.

[Kristin Rounds · Rating 3 out of 5]

No great revelations.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of thinking after this book. It was the book I needed to read now. I will reread, but a chapter here and there as I need it

[Quinn Lynch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never before have I read something that had such an impact on my day-to-day life. This book even helped me change my perception of events in my past, both ones that uplifted me and hurt me. The Power of Kindness gave me an internal peace that I never knew I could have. It has restructured the way I see myself and the way I want to interact with others.

One thing I found myself thinking about as I read this book was the concept of Mercy as a facet of Kindness. Maybe I missed it, but I thought many of Ferrucci's thoughts were just steps away from discussing Mercy. I've always thought of Mercy as a facet of kindness because it helps me understand the power my actions can have on others. My actions can either uplift or hurt someone, so it seems to me that being merciful is a good trait to have for treating others with kindness. Even if Mercy is just understanding that our kind acts can give someone respite from the cruelty of the universe, I thought it fit in well with the ideas of the book and I'm thankful for the mental exercise it gave me.

I began to list my favorite chapters for this review, but it would take less time to list which one or two were not ny favorites.

The breakdown of each facet of Kindness is so eloquent and to-the-point that every word of this book feels like it's nourishing my soul. I learned things about myself through reading this book that surprised me. For example, I've always been an introvert and value my alone time. But reading this book unsurfaced a desire I have deep in my mind for a sense of belonging. The book helped me realize how important community is for my mental and emotional health. There were other things I already knew about myself prior to reading this book, but learning more about those concepts gave me validation and inspire me to try harder to achieve those virtues.

25 stars out of 5 from me, definitely going to buy my own copy someday so I can re-read it again and again!!

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kindness, gratitude, compassion, and happiness are all inter-related and have benefit for both the giver and receiver even if not done in a completely altruistic manner. Nothing earth-shattering or particularly new here for me, but a great reminder of the benefit and need to practice kindness every day.

[Amy Day · Rating 4 out of 5]

A warm and well read audible book reviewing and reaffirming the many rewards for living a life of kindness. Health, happiness, peace, love and joy fill our lives and all others through simple kindness.

[Phuongvu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quyển sách nhẹ nhàng đọc khi đi ngủ cực hợp. Mỗi ngày đọc 1 phần.
Tác giả coi lòng tốt là điểm xuất phát, là nguồn gốc tạo ra nhiều giá trị tích cực.
Chúng ta được sinh ra để tạo ra bầu không khí, nguồn năng lượng tích cực.
Ngọn lửa 1 khi đã thắp lên sẽ không bao giờ tắt^^
Chủ nhật, 19.4.2020

[JM Pama · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Just as important is to realize that microcosm is macrocosm: Each person is the whole world. If we can bring some relief and well-being to just one person's life, this is already a victory, a silent, humble response to the suffering and pain of the planet. This is the starting point."
-Piero Ferrucci

" My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."
-His Holiness Dalai Lam

This is the best book I've read so far.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This has turned into a daily read. Always relevant.