Saving Our Sons: A New Path for Raising Healthy and Resilient Boys

by Michael Gurian

Boys and their communities are challenged today in ways they have not been before. Dr. Michael Gurian has studied and served children and their families for thirty years. His The Wonder of Boys (1996), is credited with sparking the "boys’ movement." In Saving Our Sons, he features the latest research in male emotional intelligence, male motivation development, neurotoxicity and the male brain, and electronics and videogame use. Linking practical solutions with strategic new policies based on twenty years of field work through the Gurian Institute, Dr. Gurian provides a seven-stage model for the journey to manhood in the new millennium. Moving effortlessly between the practical and the political, Dr. Gurian also tackles social and cultural issues facing our sons. Two of the book’s chapters provide readers with successful ways to challenge governmental and academic institutions, as well as the media, to see boys fully and fairly. In its eight chapters, Saving Our Sons is a unique combination of powerful writing, new research, practical strategies, and passionate social advocacy that helps our nation act on behalf of boys and young men—one home, one school, and one community at a time.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Family, Psychology, Education

342 pages, Paperback

Published February 1, 2017

About the author

Michael Gurian is an American author and social philosopher. He works as a marriage and family counselor and corporate consultant. He has published twenty-eight books, several of which were New York Times bestseller list bestsellers. He is considered, along with Leonard Sax, as one of the major proponents of the post-modern "single-sex academic classes" movement.
Gurian taught at Gonzaga University, Eastern Washington University, and Ankara University. His work tends to focus on sex differences and how they contribute to learning.
He is also a co-founder of the Gurian Institute, which trains professionals who deal with the developmental aspects of childhood. The Gurian Institute has trained more than 60,000 teachers from over 2,000 different schools. Some of these schools become "GI Model Schools" and aim to leverage the role gender plays in learning styles.

Reviews

[Vito · Rating 5 out of 5]

My interest in this book stemmed from an interview with the author on the Art of Manliness podcast.

While I hadn't read any of his previous works, I was agreeing with what Gurian was speaking about:

There's something wrong with the boys of our society.

As someone who was in a support position in a high school, I noticed that for every girl struggling with school, there were at least 5 boys.

The stories were similar: unmotivated, doesn't care, parents are struggling with him at home and (some) spend all night playing video games.

What's going on here?

This is the question Gurian is trying to answer using the latest brain scans in neuroscience and the latest findings in scientific research in genetics and epigenetics.

As a clinical practitioner and founder of the Gurian Institute, he is on the front lines with this every day.

However, before he can even get to what's happening with boys and how we can help them, he does address the elephant in the room...

The Dominant Gender Paradigm.

The DGP (as it's then referred) is the framework that men are privileged and we won't entertain any other notion until there's equity for women.

Gurian stresses the importance of empowering women for true equity, but it can only come if we properly mature our males in a way that is natural to them.

I found myself putting this book down and ruminating with my own thoughts several times.

There were many points I agreed with, based on my own observations in working with young people, and some I would challenge (mainly his solutions).

Overall, an eye-opening read and one that will challenge you.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fantastically written. The author did a great job of describing how our boys are being left behind. Even while he was talking about our boys he also talked about what is needed to strengthen our girls. His views on "Gender Equity" I found to be very refreshing. I plan to recommend it to anyone I know with sons. It is also going to go on my bi-yearly re-read list. I listened to the audio book but fully plan to purchase a paper copy for my next read through so that I can highlight the important parts. The author clearly is strong in his religious beliefs but did such a great job with his writing that as someone who prefers non-religious books I found it to be easy to read and there was no preaching at all in it.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I learned some great things while reading this book. He spent a lot of time on spreading the word of this epidemic though. He also harped on foods and toxins too much for my taste. In the end though, I leaned some things that will effect how I parent the boys and that is a good thing.

[Jason · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a parent of two boys, a former teacher, a former youth pastor and a current pastor (who works with children ALL THE TIME), I found this book tremendously engaging. The introduction of the science behind brain and gender was helpful, the pointing towards further resources for research and discussion was great, and I found most of his recommendations for how we raise boys really helpful. In particular, the chapter on digital benchmarks for boys at various ages was easy to digest and to apply to my parenting, and the discussion about food as a key source of behavioral issues was, I think, really insightful. The advice of seeking genetic testing for the boys was thoughtful.

My warning on this book is that it is clearly aimed at our culture wars, and I can hear the "meninists" in our current cultural configuration going to war and using this book as ammo. I can also hear way to0 many "traditionalists" using this book as a way to undermine the strides we've made towards taking care of our girls (esp in schooling), and it made me wary of how I associated with the book. And to be clear, I don't think the author wants that entirely, and there's attention to saying "we don't have to harm girls in order to take care of boys," but that part is gonna get drowned out by culture warriors. I'd like to have seen a vision for how to have mixed gender classrooms, as an example, that takes care of both boy and girl brains, and then has an honest idea about what to do when the best practices come into conflict.

I really enjoyed the book, and think it's an important work. Any denial that we have a problem with boys in our culture is idealogical, not scientific. I hope that we can use Gurian's scientific data to construct healthy ways of taking care of our boys.

[Shannon Minninger · Rating 5 out of 5]

I took my time with this one and even so, I definitely need to reread. There is SO MUCH important content to digest. I do agree that we are experiencing a wide spread issue with boys/men in our society and we, as a society, need to examine what factors are contributing to the problems. Gurian
provides "a resource for every possible reader that not only dives deep into what boys need to thrive but also takes on the acute challenges of advocating for boys in our present political climate" within this book. I am a big fan of the Gurian Institure and all the research they are doing to help understand the differences between genders and the ways we need to support both genders for the best outcomes. Highly recommend studying this one to anyone teaching or raising boys.

[Ren · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this day and age of extremism and fanatical opinions, it is so refreshing to hear someone who offers balance, calls out the dangers of extreme thought. Michael Gurian informs the reader about the current issues with boys and how we need to be advocates for them. We need to let them be natural boys, and we need to learn about how epigenetics is changing boys and creating a huge disturbance in the natural cycle of our lives and communities.

[Chris Edie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The future of boys is in jeopardy

Working with kids especially boys, is a Pandora’s box of possibilities. How do you walk the line of best practice and “politically correct”
Saving our sons sets up the problems and some solutions but also how to start the conversation within the community.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

I hate to put this in my did not finish list. Maybe I just read it at the wrong time. It's very heavy with information, and I can't seem to focus on that right now. I did glean some helpful tips and background on boys, so I would love to read it again when I can take notes. This book is almost textbook-like. Would make a good discussion book.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practice advice on how to raise boys based on research that shows how brains of boys are different from girls, and how environmental factors, neurotoxins, digital device use, and genetics can affect violence, maturity and maturation. So easy to read and made me think about things like gender bias, processed food, and our digitalized world that maybe hampering emotional growth of boys

[Ariosto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Game changer

This book is fundamental in understanding what makes a male a man. It's gender explanation and observations are remarkable. All information about genetic codes are eye opener.

[Robert Bogue · Rating 3 out of 5]

Raising all kids today is hard. Since I’ve only attempted to raise kids in today’s environment, I can’t comment about whether it’s harder or easier than previous generations. I can say that the grandparents I talk to tell me that they believe it’s harder. It’s for that reason that every parenting program, resource, and book is a welcome tool to better understand, cope, and succeed in the critical task of parenting. Michael Gurian’s book Saving Our Sons: A New Path for Raising Healthy and Resilient Boys is one tool.

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[Elizabeth Lang · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book and think everyone should read it, not just parents of boys. While there were some parts I personally disagreed with, I felt it was very well researched and hope to be able to return back to it as a refresher.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Plodded through this one but worthwhile read. Reminder to not forget boys as we try to level playing field between genders.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a heavy read, but very important information and raising sons.

[Greg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'd recommend this to any parent of a boy.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing. Thought provoking.

[Jeremy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Intriguing.

[Evan Warns · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wish I could give a half star.

[adelina mocanu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book for parenting boys

I liked its ideas.
Actual text a bit hard to follow as I think it's targeted at academics and teachers, or maybe it was just my impression.
Would have liked it to be an easier read.

[Bodo Rebić · Rating 4 out of 5]

It basically helped me to be a better father to my son.

[Lynette · Rating 3 out of 5]

some feel reaching, but good things to ponder