Fearsome Creatures of the Lumberwoods: 20 Chilling Tales from the Wilderness

by Hal Johnson

Just for kids, twenty bone-chilling tales about the most dangerous fantastical beasts in American folklore. Meet the Snoligoster, who feeds on the shadows of its victims. The Hodag, like a spiny-backed bull-horned rhinoceros. The Hoop Snake, which can chase prey at speeds of up to 60 miles per hour and then, with one sting of its tail, cause it to turn purple, swell up, and die.

Illustrated throughout, including eight drawings printed with glow-in-the-dark ink, Fearsome Creatures of the Lumberwoods is for every young reader who loves a good scare. The book was originally published in 1910 by William Thomas Cox and is now inspiringly retold by Hal Johnson, author of Immortal Lycanthropes. The creatures are all scales and claws, razor-sharp teeth and stealth, camouflage and single-minded nastiness. Straight out of the era of Paul Bunyan, they speak to an earlier time in American history, when the woods were indeed dark and deep and filled with mystery. The tone is smart and quirky. The illustrations have a sinewy, retro field-guide look. Read them around a campfire, if you dare.

Hodag
Hugag
Gumberoo
Roperite
Snoligoster
Leprocaun
Funeral Mountain terrashot
Slide-rock bolter
Toteroad shagamaw
Wapaloosie
Cactus cat
Squonk
Whirling whimpus
Acropelter
Hoop snake
Snow wasset
Central American whintosser
Billdad
Tripodero
Hyampom hog bear
Fearsome facts

Genres: Horror, Middle Grade, Fantasy, Fiction, Short Stories, Humor, Folklore

176 pages, Paperback

First published September 8, 2015

About the author

I don't think Hal Johnson is a very unusual sort of a guy. He's just — well, the average American citizen and family man, the kind that are the backbone of the nation. I admire him and like him. I like his attitude. Until, that is, he gets behind the wheel of an automobile. At that point he changes. He changes from a careful, considerate citizen — to a menace.

–"Driven to Kill," 1948 driver's safety film.

Reviews

[K.T. Katzmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

". . . if you eat human flesh in Canada, you become a wendigo, an accursed monster, while if you eat human flesh in Paris, you become President of France, if I understand their electoral process correctly."

If that line makes you giggle as I do, read this book.

The original Fearsome Creatures of the Lumberwoods was a 1910 book with awesome tall tale critters and some really uncomfortable racism. This version leaves out the racism and makes the improbable creatures of old lumberjacks inside a humorous and sinister world. Seriously, it's what a time traveler for a thousand years in the future would think the time period is like, and I love. We are in the realm of the darkly & joyously ridiculous.

I laughed out loud enough in a public bathroom that the guy at the sink sounded disturbed. I got shivers from the build-up and execution of the ridiculous phrase, "No longer do I hunt squonk." I dearly loved every progressively more ludicrous time Johnson mentions the French.

I don't understand how a book can make a bizarre Teddy Roosevelt joke and then on the next page have a serious Cthulhu Mythos reference and yet still not feel like mood whiplash. Bravo.

And the glow-in-the-dark stuff? Eh. I'm a huge glow-in-the-dark fan, constantly in conflict with my wife over how much of the stuff I want in the bedroom. I dream of having a study painted in glow-in-the-dark paint. The way it's used in this book didn't thrill me, although it didn't take away anything either.

It's like Mark Twain and Edward Gorey had a long drinking session on a train. Brilliant.

[Hilda · Rating 4 out of 5]

The scariest things always dwell underneath...
Leaving nothing behind but a hole in the snow and a few drops of blood.

This book reminded me a lot of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and Tales of the Peculiar. It was creepy and slightly weird and also read like a field guide. It's said to be for fans of Scary Stories: Scary tales to tell in the dark, 9 horror short stories for kids and for all ages but some stories were very gruesome and honestly very scary. I'd definitely only let older kids read it.

I still enjoyed it very much. It was funny at times and very creative.

[Teresa Scherping Moulton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm sure you've heard of lions, tigers, bears, wolves, moose, and wild boars. But have you heard of wapaloosies? Snoligosters? Toteroad Shagamaws? Well, dear reader, it's time you learned about the rarer and more dangerous creatures that inhabit our country. Luckily a famed cryptozoologist (a scientist who studies animals like Bigfoot and chupacabras, among others) has written this book to educate you on the dangers that await you in the less inhabited "lumberwoods" of North America. You'll hear about animals which regularly explode from the heat of the sun, creatures with legs ten feet long but no knees, and a snake which bites its own tale in order to roll like a wheel at 60 miles per hour. Some of these creatures will give you nightmares at the very sight of them but others appear to be adorable until you find out their horrible secret. Protect yourself by learning as much as you can about these animals...before it's too late.

I almost hate how much I enjoyed this book. Its humor is so dry but also ridiculous that I just kept groaning at the bonkers jokes it sneaks in there. There is a joke about Gavrilo Princip! Seriously! Some of it will probably go over kids' heads, but I grudgingly admire it all the same. Oh, did I mention that several of the pages (and the cover) have glow-in-the-dark portions?

I would recommend this book to grades 4-8, especially fans of stories that are both scary and funny, those who like the ridiculous, and anyone who loves monsters. I think this would also be a great starting point for a creative writing project.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

"When the first terrashot exploded, Mr. Thompson-Chang, who was trying to ride the fool thing, was turned to dust more or less. Miss Grundy was far enough away from the blast that she only suffered a ruptured eardrum, but she was, tragically, downwind, which meant she inhaled a vast quantity of terrashot spores (as well as, presumably, much of the remaining mass of her late boyfriend)."

There's a kid you know who is going to get a huge kick out of this bestiary.

All my picks for best books to give this holiday are at http://www.unadulterated.us/pink-me/2...

[Cindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

What did I just read?! This wins the prize for most bizarre book. Parts were so ridiculous I was laughing out loud. Others were so strange it was hard to tell that I was reading my English words.

[Emmy · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who's a big fan of folk tales, this book was a perfect addition to my reading list! The stories are spooky (younger readers might even find them scary) and a lot of fun to read. I enjoyed the illustrations, but especially appreciated the sense of humor that this book brought to each and every entry.

I see that this is a retelling of an older book, and I'm excited to see what stories the original Fearsome Creatures Of The Lumberwoods contains.

EDIT 4/25/2023
I have also read the original work by Cox. Actually enjoyed both, but for different reasons. After reading the very matter-of-fact original, I went back and reread this one. It was a lot juicier and very fun. I also like that it read more like a scary campfire story than a folktale, while still retaining some of the folktale feel.

[Dyah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Surprisingly ridiculous.
But I'm willing to overlook the silly stories because the book format is unique. There are some illustrations that are coated with something that can glow in the dark.

After reading this, I wonder if the author has a grudge towards Frenchmen...

[Rebekah Grmela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Purchased to read about the Pennsylvania Squonk; utterly delightful and strange.

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

I giggled out loud at some of these stories. I considered giving this to my 7 year old to read right away until I got to one particularly grisly story. She can wait a few years. The writing reminded me of a cross between Jack Handey and Louis Sachar. I loved it.

[Hannah Lewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

The artwork is gorgeous and most of the stories are well done. It reads like a field guide. The only down side is it’s advertised as a book that glows in the dark but it does not.

[NayDoubleU · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome

4.5
I loved everything about this book. Super easy and quick read. Another great book for when you dont have time to fully read and get lost in a back. Loved the appendix. Gave it a extra umphh

[Raina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a soft spot for cryptozoology, so this was a shoe-in for me.
According to the opening editor's note (and the internet, which I consulted to confirm), this is based on a book which came out in the early 20th century, written by William Cox, a man with the same name as my maternal great grandfather. Each chapter discusses a different cryptozoological creature, and I'm very uncertain as to whether they're purely from Cox's imagination, or derived from actual fable. Either way, I've never heard of any of them before.

The narrative voice is particularly notable - stylized, caricatured, and pretty silly, if you pay attention. There's a bias against Frenchmen (which, I understand from other reviews, screens more offensive racism in the source-text).

The graphic design is pretty gorgeous. Each page is a little foggy, smudged, dirty-looking. Some of the text is warped and stylized. And, although the cover is a little busy for my taste, the inside is pretty darn beautiful. Oh yeah, and things GLOW IN THE DARK!!!

I definitely had a moment one night when I looked over at my bedside table, bc this cover was creepily glowing at me.

Anyway, I liked it. So did the kids. :)

[Mundie Moms & Mundie Kids · Rating 3 out of 5]

Perfect for kids who love R.L. Stine, this book features stories that will keep you up at night! Perfect for scaring your friends around the camp fire, this is a book that will make it's readers question just how much of these stories are real, or made up...... You definitely won't go walking in the woods at night after reading these stories. Not for the faint of heart, this book is almost as good as visiting a haunted house. There's definitely a few scary stories in this one!

http://mundiekids.blogspot.com/2016/1...

[mwr · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed loud and hard enough while waiting at the mechanic for someone to comment that this must be a good book. While the creatures might be the most fearsome, the humans are at least as terrifying (Gavrillo Princip makes an appearance). There is good humor, and the material can talk to its target age bracket without talking down to them, which is not an easily pulled off feat. The back-matter is a very nice touch as well (death fears the hodag!).

[Lukas Holmes · Rating 5 out of 5]

A rare interactive treat. All three of my kids gathered around to hear me read and each have taken it in turn to read themselves. The best part is the integration of the glow paint and the way of changes the page it is on. We all would rush to a closet to get the full experience in full dark laughing and gasping as we did. Just wonderful.

[Adan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A hilarious compendium of various North American legendary beasts narrated by an unnamed, yet long-lived cryptozoologist who’s clearly gone quite mad and hates Frenchmen for some reason. The creatures contained herein are as absurd as they are fearsome, and I really can’t recommend this book enough.

[Kendall · Rating 5 out of 5]

You must get this right now!

This book is amazing and I love it so much! My favorite parts were how they showed the scientific name and the creatures skull. I hope another fearsome creatures (critters) book. It is perfect for cryptid lovers, paranormal lovers, and anyone who wants to wet the bed🦄🐲.

[kora · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️! Some of the stories were confusing but some of them were really interesting!

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loads of fun. Great read for tween, especially if they enjoy creepy stuff.

[Dolly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Strange collection of short stories about fantastical creatures who are both unusual and deadly. The narrator of the stories purports to be a cryptozoologist and describes in great detail the harrowing experiences of those who encounter the myriad beasts.

The author explains that these stories were either adapted from or borrowed from other myths, folklore, or legends from around the country and reimagined in a new way. He seems to have a particular fascination with mocking the French, but does not explain why.

The black and white pen-and-ink illustrations are gruesome and often intricately detailed. They are also enhanced on many of the pages with glow-in-the-dark designs that dramatically change the image when activated.

But here's the rub. The images have to be exposed to light individually and then, subsequently, to the dark to see the images, and neither I nor the children in our local library's book club had the patience to do it again and again (there are at least eight of them).

And for some reason, the stories just did not engage the readers. The children were excited to read the stories when we first introduced thenbook. We even tested out the glow-in-the-dark designs, with each of us trying a different page.

But when we returned the next month, most were less than enthusiastic about the book. The thrill of the gimmick had faded quickly and the stories were tough to get through.

Even I had to take the tales in small bites. It took me many weeks to finish the stories covering the eighteen creatures, although I admit I would set the book aside for days at a time.

Overall. I applaud the intent of this tome and
I would love to give it more stars, but it just didn't live up to our expectations.

I admit that the cover glowed creepily in the dark and contains a message embedded within the title that I didn't notice right away. So it is quite a creepy book. Just not one that we enjoyed as much as we thought we would.

interesting quote:

"There is precedent for food to have different effects in different regions: For example, if you eat human flesh in Canada, You become a wendigo, an accursed monster; while if you eat human flesh in Paris, you become president of France, if I understand their electoral process correctly." (p. 139)

[Riley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Y'all American folklore is friggin' weird.
I'm always a sucker for trade dressing and this book is a prime example, from the slightly irregular size to the gorgeous glow in the dark illustrations and unique type font, it reads like a weird funky little journal that's been all over the place and I dig it.

[Lydia · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am disappointed with this book. This did not include 20 "Chilling" takes from the wilderness. All the stories were so tongue-in-cheek that there was nothing really frightening about them. The Wapaloosie's revenge description was also kind of in poor taste.

The blurb at the top was if you liked Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, that you would like this book. That is an incorrect statement. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark was scary. It doubled down on the creep factor with Gammell's illustrations. Fearsome Creatures is a saccharine mess in comparison.

I wanted more from a book about cryptids. They're supposed to be spooky and scary. They ARE the things that go bump in the night.

If this book is even remotely interesting to you, I would suggest skimming through it first. Maybe you will like the humor but if you don't, save yourself the trouble.

[Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

An overall ridiculous book full of fun little stories of odd creatures.

[Df3photo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting book of mythical woodland creatures you probably never heard of...

[Room 12 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOOOOVED this book i want more :)

[Travis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm tempted to give this a 4 because I'm a sucker for glow-in-the-dark stuff, and this book implements it quite well, with the glowing part providing an extra layer of meaning or interest. Some examples: the cover has the glowing words "Fear the woods" picked out from the title, and the lantern glow of the character on the bottom reveals the silhouette of a toothy maw in front, and dead hands reaching up from below; the roperite illustration is overlaid by a glowing cowboy with lasso on a horse, as part of the myth of its origin; the Funeral Mountain terrashots are shown exploding; and the acropelter is replaced by a hand reaching out of the page at the reader. Some, like the snow wasset or the Hyampom hog bear are sort of wasted opportunities, just showing the creatures in larger, glowing detail, but overall it was still fun reading the book at night and periodically switching off the light to appreciate the effect. The only downside to this feature is that the ink has a definite texture, and when I first found the book I thought that it had been stained by something unmentionable, it being a library book for children; it is fortunate that was not the case.

In terms of content, the introduction rather accurately explains that it is a deliberately unfaithful re-imagining of Cox's original Fearsome Critters of the Lumberwoods. The creatures included are basically the same (except that for some reason the splinter cat was replaced by the hoop snake) and the order of entries is also the same (except that the hodag was moved to the front of the list), but the contents are quite different. The names (except for agropelter being called acropelter) are the same, as are the forms of the creatures, but the stories told about them vary from the original, sometimes completely, and might incorporate aspects taken from other mythical or folkloric creatures. It is nice to know that the variance is deliberate and intentional: when reading Mythical Creatures of the North Country I was left wondering why creatures described in both halves of that book could sometimes be so different; were the variations true folkloric variants the later author had encountered, or just his own inventions? Instead of the tall-tales style of the original, the descriptions of creatures here are told from the perspective of a single narrator, a sort of larger than life, anachronistic character that reminds me a bit of Mr. Burns from The Simpsons or T Herman Zweibel, the fictional editor of The Onion, though there is probably a better comparison. This narrator seems implicitly to be a fictionalized version of the author (and that interpretation is kind of consistent with Hal Johnson's Goodreads profile), except that at one point he references his "shriveled Jarvik heart", suggesting that there was a distinct narrator character created in development, but not fully fleshed out in the book itself; or else Jarvik refers to something besides a surname.

The descriptions of various creatures are generally fun and clever and contain a healthy dose of amusing French bashing. The are also occasionally a bit gross and/or violent, which probably makes it all the more appealing to the target middle school age audience.

[Charles]

The stories are pretty well written if you like tall tales. The illustrations are first rate, and the glow in the dark pictures, while difficult to get to work, are a nice touch. All in all, it's a solid little book.

[Michael Bower · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best description of monsters I've ever seen, but heads up some are scarer then others.

[Claire Newell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book that is best for students that are fast emergent readers around grades 5th through middle school. It has some to minimal amount of pictures throughout the book. Would be of interest to students who like stories similar to harry potter, Percy Jackson, or something to do with mythical creatures on any kind.

[Erica Rowan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book, much like the Frenchman, is an affront to all things sensible. Hal Johnson frequently tells the reader, nay encourages, NAY HYPNOTIZES, into hunting for creatures both fearsome and exciting!

Alas, dear reader, if you choose to engage with such a book, bring along your children for they may have insight that could save your life. Or they may be a great distraction for the hoop snake that's RIGHT BEHIND YOU!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

For real tho, this book is fun and the illustrations are incredible. I highly recommend it as a buddy read for a parent and their kid. The style is very much Lemony Snicket meets Bigfoot Hunters. I love the way the nameless narrator weaves a larger meta story about their life through eaxh entry. If you want to know more about less-than-famous cryptids, this is the book. Absolutely stoked I picked it up at Goodwill for $1.18!