Beanstalker and Other Hilarious Scarytales

by Kiersten White, Karl Kwasny (Illustrations)

Kiersten White, the author of the NYT bestselling Paranormalcy trilogy, is ready to make her middle grade debut! Once upon a time, a girl skipped into the forest and became a zombie.Wait, no, that's not how this story is supposed to go. Let's try again.Once upon a time, a boy did a horrible job as a sheep-sitter and burned his tongue on stolen pie.No, children in these stories are always good and virtuous. From the top.Once upon a time, a king and queen tried to find a princess for their son to marry, and he wound up fleeing from a group of very hairy vampires.Hmmm...What about, once upon a time, a bunch of fairy tales got twisted around to be completely hilarious, a tiny bit icky, and delightfully spooky scarytales... in other words, exactly what fairy tales were meant to be. Grab some flaming torches, maybe don't accept that bowl of pease porridge, and get ready for a wickedly fun ride with acclaimed author Kiersten White and fairy tales like you've never heard them before.

Genres: Fantasy, Middle Grade, Horror, Humor, Fairy Tales, Short Stories, Retellings

218 pages, Hardcover

First published July 25, 2017

About the author

Kiersten White is the #1 New York Times bestselling, Bram Stoker Award-winning, and critically acclaimed author of many books for readers of all ages, including the And I Darken trilogy, the Sinister Summer series, the Camelot Rising trilogy, Star Wars: Padawan, Hide, Mister Magic, and Lucy Undying. She also has a very large tortoise named Kimberly, which isn't relevant, but she wanted you to know.

Visit her online at kierstenwhite.com.

Reviews

[Cori · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute book! This was geared towards pre-teen/teen, but it was quirky and fun. Couldn't pass it up for a quick Halloween read. Kiersten White takes multiple fairy tales and children rhymes, turning them on their heads. We end up with zombies and vampires and a giant snake, oh my! Be mindful of sensitive younger ones who may find this a little scary, but overall, her humor and informal writing style soften the edge and make this a funny, little book most younger readers and adults will enjoy. I love The Stepmother! I want a whole book devoted to the poor Stepmother.

I'd rate this a dark PG for scary fairy tale magic.

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Star Rating: —> 2.5 Stars

Um yeah. Not for me lmao. I do think it would be a good take on fairytales for young, YOUNG “scary” book loving readers. Lord i wanted to pull my freaking hair out reading this. Lol. Just yeah. I’m being generous AF with my Star Rating.

This was a buddy read with Destiny [link to her review to follow istg GR is pulling some real mindf*ckery] aaaand she DNF’d! Lmao. That def says a lot !


I fought through and omg i just i just i just THIS WAS AWFUL! 😭😭😭.
Again, I gave this 2.5 stars because very young elementary readers could possibly like it!!! Kiersten White is lucky af that I know shes capable of writing fantastic stories (not that i’m special or anything lmao, i’m just making a point!) bc The Guinevere Deception series is AMAZING. This review is not to bash the author ATALL. 😊 Just being honest!

[destiny ♡ howling libraries]

DNF @ pg 60

This was definitely one of those cases where I wasn't the target audience for this book and recognized that pretty quickly. I enjoy plenty of middle grade-aimed humor, but I don't think this sense of humor would have clicked with me even when I was a kid, and unfortunately, that's just how it goes with me and comedy books: it either works, or it doesn't (it usually doesn't), with no real in-between. 🤷‍♀️

(Attempted) buddy read with Ashley! ♥

[Elle (ellexamines on TT & Substack) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Damn, I want to be Kiersten White's best friend so much.

Unfair Hair: 4 stars. This is such a solid, funny intro.
Snow White, Blood Red: 4.5 stars. The meta stepmother jokes and the LOVE MOME tattoo all got me laughing.
The Princess and the...Pea?: 5 stars. This is legitimately one of the funniest things I have read in my entire life. It's so meta.
Little Dead Riding Hood: 5 stars. The plotting of this is so creative and interesting and twisty-turny.
Cinders and Ashes: 4.5 stars for creativity, rather than for humor. I loved this story so, so much.
Goldilocks and the Three Scares: 5 stars. This was so creative and generally great.
Jack the Beanstalker: 3 stars. I wasn't all that impressed by this one, it just fell a little flat. Jack's character in general seems to fall a little flat throughout these stories.
Bad Apple: 3 stars. Plot furthering but not all that funny.
The Boy Who Cried Zombies: 4 stars. This one has some really great moments, but as a whole, it seems too plot-furtherting and not funny enough.
Vampires and Zombies and Stepmothers, Oh My!: 4.5 stars for being an awesome conclusion.

This was just a complete delight. These stories can all be read individually and enjoyed, but they come together into a really interesting story. I noticed that the later stories fell a little flatter individually, but as a whole, they really came together.

So glad I spent an afternoon on this. Recommended for fans of parody and humor and Kiersten White.

[Tiffany PSquared · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this quirky little book of scarytales! Kiersten White really knows how to spin a tale and her slightly spooky spoof of our classic fairy tale characters made for hilarious reading for my daughter and me!

[Yvonne Olson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Kiersten White.
I love fairytales.
I love when Kiersten White writes fairytales.
This book is full of the classic tales, twisted in ways to get kids excited about reading!
Plus, there's witty quotes on every page, and I found that great.
I only wish that this was geared to an older audience, because some of her ideas could have turned really gruesome, and that would be amazing.

[Mandy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was such an odd little read. I don't really know quite what to do with it. There were parts that were great and sort of funny, but for the most part I was just blinking rapidly, trying to understand what was happening. The writing, I think, was the biggest issue for me. At some points, it sounded a bit like it was trying way too hard to be funny and quirky and it kind of resulted like it sounded like it was on speed? There was literally a page about how people were days of the week and I literally just flipped through it, because I mean, whyyyyyy? It really threw me off.

I will say, though, that White did a good job of tying things together, and I do have to say that a few things did turn out much more creepy than I originally thought so I really have to give White credit. It's like White took all the nice, seminormal stories you hear as a child and adds in vampires and zombies and snakes.

Overall, I'm really not sure what to do with this book. There were a few good moments, but overall, I just blinked quite hard at the book, trying to figure out what is going on. It's an interesting little read, but very underwhelming. The pictures were the best part?? 2 crowns and a Cinderella rating!

[Carina Olsen · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is so gorgeous. And I wanted to love it so badly. Which is why I'm so disappointed to say that I did not. I love fairy tales. And retellings are amazing. And I love middle grade books the most. Which is why I was so sure that I would love this book. As I also adore the author. But oh, I was a bit disappointed with this.

I don't think I will write such a long review of this book. Because it isn't really long, and because of the way it is told, there is not really that much to say about it. But will share my thoughts about all of it even so. I'm giving this book two stars. Aw. Makes me so sad. But I really didn't like this one much at all. Wasn't very good.

As I said, this book is all kinds of gorgeous looking. And I really did think that I would love it lots. And I do think that others might enjoy it a whole bunch, especially most children. But for me, it wasn't that good. I have read a lot of books for children that have been amazing. But I felt like this one was a bit too childish. The writing was not very good, and it was pretty boring. It's written like the writer is telling a story from her point of view, including a narrator inside the story. Which could have been amazing, but sadly I found it to be written really badly. Aw. There are supposed to be a lot of jokes included in the text, but I didn't find any of it funny. A lot of it is about spelling, and hearing words the wrong way. Which is interesting, but it wasn't interesting in this.

Sigh. Probably because I didn't find it funny that a boy had been making a soup out of pee. And had been peeing in a guest bed. That just wasn't for me at all. But I must admit that I did enjoy parts of this story. I liked that there are short stories about famous fairy tales, with different endings and such. And that they all fit together in the same kingdom. I liked that. I just didn't like any of the stories, lol. The writing was just not good for me at all. And I didn't really like the plot either. I found the ending to be pretty bad too. Sniffs.

I don't really know what to say about this book. I felt like it was really short, yet I couldn't help but wish that it had been even shorter. Aw. I'm so sad that I didn't like it much. I'm just so sad that it wasn't for me. Because I had been wanting to read it so badly and thought for sure that I would love it. But yeah, I have read tons of better written books for children, which is one of the reasons for why this one didn't work for me. But I would recommend that a lot of really younger children read it. They might love it. And might not.

This book have a vampire Snow White. And a zombie Red Riding Hood. And a really, really stupid Jack. I found some parts of it to be interesting, which is why I'm giving it two stars. But for the most part this book was too silly and not good enough. I feel sad about that. But yeah, nothing that can be done about that. It wasn't for me. Huge thank you, though, to the publisher for being all kinds of amazing and shipping this review copy to my hotel room. It means the most. Also so curious to know what others think of this book.

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This review was first posted on my blog, Carina's Books, here: http://carinabooks.blogspot.no/2017/0...

[Brihanna Holder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book to my 9 year old and thoroughly enjoyed every second of it. The narrator adds humor to the story, the way the author twisted up fairytales and nursery rhymes into creepy spooky stories really paid tribute to the originals. It has the same cadence as Into the Woods

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The humor didn't really hit for me, which is weird because usually Kiersten White cracks me up. I don't read much MG though, so maybe that was the problem? I'm perplexed.

[Ami · Rating 3 out of 5]

Three and a half stars for such a lovely snarky play on words and a twisting of familiar tales. This could have turned so much darker, and while I wish it had, it was still well done, even with the occasional silly dialogue which was easily forgiven. My children love this so much that three of the four are trying to read it at the same time and are fighting over whose turn it is; all three were caught with it in their school bags at different points during the same morning. (Which is why I decided to read it.) :D They are also now quite familiar with homonyms, which is no bad thing.

[Mehsi · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Once upon a time, a girl skipped into the forest and became a zombie."

I just knew I would love this as soon as I spotted the book on Twitter. I always love it when authors write a retelling of fairy tales. Especially if those retellings are filled with zombies, arsonists, talking sheep, vampires, and more!

The book also has a narrator, and while I often did like it, other times I was just bored by it. Especially the whole spelling/grammar stuff just got annoying. We get it. Pee and Pea, Reign and Rain and Rein, etc. etc..
I did like that the narrator was heard/seen by the characters (for instance by Goldilocks).

The book also loves breaking fourth wall, and I do like a book that does that.

There are also illustrations in the book, and I just adore the style. It really made the story come alive (and no, not as a zombie).

All the stories are connected together. They take place in the same kingdom, and there are other things that connect these characters together. It was a really fun surprise when I found out.

Now I have written a small review for each of the stories/chapters. I have also given them a star rating.

Prologue: Unfair Hair: 4 stars. Wow, well, I definitely didn't expect THAT to happen when the prince climbed up Rapunzel's tower. I loved this Rapunzel, she is totally kick-ass and Herr was pretty amazing (though creepy and too hungry for my liking). I had a laugh at how the prince acted, and then was chewed out. Poor idiot. He should have checked the tower more thoroughly. :P The ending shouldn't have come as a surprise considering the hints that were thrown around, but I still found it surprising. *waves bye bye to the prince*
One thing that I didn't like that much, is the narration. I just had an headache after a while (with all the spelling stuff and trying to make it oh so funny).
But all in all, a funny start to a hopefully funny book.

Story 1: Snow White Blood Red: 5 stars. I just adored this story. A whole different and bloody twist on the Snow White story. We still have an obsessed queen/stepmother (though I didn't think she was that evil, especially considering what Snow White was, I think anyone would go a bit bonkers then). Snow White was creepy as hell, I do wonder if she knows what she is.
Narration was OK, less annoying this time.

Story 2: The Princess and the... pea?: 4.5 stars. I knew it! I knew it! I won't tell you what though, as you do need to be as surprised as I was when that came around. :P I loved the story, it is a whole new twist on this story. The princesses were terrible though, but well, that was the point I guess. They can't be too cheery or happy, or singsongy, as the queen/king won't like that. But it was hilarious to see all the different princesses and see what made them worse than the previous princess (or even the queen).
I also loved that the stories kind of connect in a way. We meet Jack again (from story 1), we read about Jill, we hear about Snow White, we see our prince (and his tower) again. It is such a delight!
Just a shame that once again that spelling stuff raises its head. :| I am getting a bit bored with it.

Story 3: Little Dead Riding Hood: 5 stars! OMG this was absolutely brilliant. I loved how this story connected with the previous one (and with Jack's as this is Jill's story). Plus how can I not like a Red Riding Hood who is THAT. It is just perfection, though I do have to say I feel slightly sorry for the wolf. Eh, I guess he had it coming. He should have run away when he could. :P The classical scene between "Grandma" and Red Riding Hood was just perfection! I had such a laugh, and then I got a bit sick as the conversation went a certain way. I loved the ending, and I fear for the kingdoms.
Maybe people shouldn't underestimate little girls, they can be quite dangerous. ;)

Story 4: Cinders and Ashes: 4.5 stars. I loved how this wove Cinderella with the prince and the kingdom we saw earlier (the one with the peas :P). It was also quite long, I believe it is one of the longest chapters in the book.
Cinderella, well... I can tell you I certainly hadn't expected her to be like that. Or the Prince for that matter. But back to Cinderella, I guess stepmother dearest did have a good reason to keep Cinderella away from public. And to make sure she didn't have anything around her. With the revelation now out in the open it also explained quite a few other things in the story.
All in all, a very nice twist on the Cinderella story, a twist that certainly fits and makes sense though.
Plus I loved the ending to the story, it was adorable! They do make a fetching couple!

Story 5: Goldilocks and the Three Scares: 5 stars! OMG this was just the best Goldilocks story I have ever read. I knew from the start what Three Scares meant, but it was still oh so much fun when those scares came into picture. I was worried (along with the narrator) for Goldilocks, but I shouldn't have been worried. :P That girl rocks!
This was just a hilarious story. Plus how can I resist creatures like that?

Story 6: Jack the Beanstalker: 2 stars. Easily the most boring story in the book, yes, I haven't read them all, but I never really liked Jack, so it doesn't help it when he gets a whole story for himself. I just struggled to get through the pages, the story wasn't even so exciting or different. There were no big twists or turns. The best thing was to see the other characters while Jack was climbing the beanstalk.

Story 7: Bad Apple: 4.5 stars. Ohhhhh, we are back with Snow White. Just like in the original story, the huntsman failed, though in this one he pays a much bigger price. :P There are dwarfs (or well children with excessive hair growth), and of course the prince also pops up, though with attachment. And we learn a bit more about the stepmother (I could have seen that one coming, but I didn't). I had a laugh at Cinderella and her hubby burning stuff left and right (even going as far to spell Cinderella's name). Yep, if the kingdom isn't going down by zombies and vampires, I guess it will burn down. :P

Story 8: The Boy Who Cried Zombies: 4 stars. Ah, hello again Jack. This time he is taking care of Mary's lambs (yes, that Mary). You can imagine how the story goes, a boy cries wolf. But what happens if you do it too much and suddenly there are really wolves, or are they wolves? :P I loved that Goldilocks was also there and of course kicking butt! You go girl!
I had a laugh at the villagers, especially the lady+pie. What the sheep did near the end, it was brilliant. I surely didn't expect that, and I would have reacted the same way as Jack if I had been around them and they never did x.

Story 9: Vampires and Zombies and Stepmothers, Oh My!: 4.5 stars. A great conclusion to a great book, though, yes, Jack that plan was just stupid. Oh well, I guess that is a problem for another day. :P
It was really fun to see all the characters together, good and bad. From Cinderella to Jill, everyone was there! I loved how the good guys banded together to defeat the evil. Go team, go.

Between the stories are intermissions, poems, that continue the story or tell us what is happening in the kingdom (which are hints to what is coming).

All in all a great read, I did enjoy it a lot. I laughed, I had goosebumps, I was cheering for characters, I was delighted at how everything connected. Yep, I would highly recommend this book to everyone.

Review first posted at https://twirlingbookprincess.com/

[Bunny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read for Book Roast's OWL's Magical Readathon 2019. Subject: Ancient Runes - Read a retelling.

What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails and puppy dog tails,
That's what little boys are made of!

What are little girls made of?
Brains and wails and people entrails,
That's what little girls are made of!

Sooooooooooooo, this is basically the funniest book I've read in an incredibly long time?

When Chris sent me this book, I was already terribly amused by the title and descripion. It wasn't until I picked this up for the readathon that I realized this is the author of the female Dracula retelling, the Frankenstein retelling, AND (most importantly) the new Buffy book, Slayer.

After finishing this, I feel 89% more confident in Kiersten's ability to do Buffy justice. Just saying.

This book is a series of retellings of the classic fairy tales, most of which intertwine, and far too many that make WAY too much sense. Why are the stepmothers in fairy tales all so wicked? Well.

Maybe they have a damn good reason.

On top of the spooky bits, there are so many puns, alliterations, fun with homonyms, even fun with punctuation, for crying out loud. Not only is this book funny and creepy, it is smart. I can't honestly think of a single thing this book is missing, other than MORE.

I want more. Always more. We didn't get The Little Mermaid. Kiersten White, I need you to get to work on the sequel.

I would absolutely have loved this book as a kid. My godson might be too gentle for this, but holy crap, my goddaughter might love it one day.

[Jenn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now that was fun! Loved the humor, the way each story was linked together and how she turned beloved fairy tales upside down with a horror aspect. to appreciate this book you’ll need to first realize it’s a kids book so don’t expect super sophisticated writing and secondly be light hearted- if you’re going to be persnickety with a stick up your bum you won’t find the peas vs pees humor funny at all. To me it was a great little read.

[Mariam Mordy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once upon a time, a girl skipped into the forest and became a zombie.
Once upon a time, Snow White is a vampire and Cinderella is an arsonist.
رواية كوميدية و رعب ساخر و Creepy شوية
لطيفة جدا و مش مملة ابدا و كل شوية كنت بتفاجئ🤩 هي القصة واخده قصص اميرات ديزني سنو وايت و سندريلا روبانزل و ذات الرداء الاحمر و دمجتهم مع بعض بصورة مختلفة تماما عن القصة اللي نعرفها و بتنتهي القصة بنهاية مرعبة و لكن كوميدية في نفس الوقت ( احيانا دموية) 😖
بس يعني لطيفة جدا مليانة زومبيز و فامبيرز
فيه بتاع ١٠ صفحات جامدين عن قصة عن ال PEEing
نهاية حلوة جدا
و لغة الرواية سهلة و شيقة❤️

[Billie · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's a lot of clever jokes about homonyms (rein, reign, rain; hair and Herr; and, of course, pee and pea) and some unexpected zombears, but the concept itself—re-told and interwoven fairy tales and nursery rhymes with a narrator who inserts herself into the tale— is about as fresh as one of White's zombies.

[Sean · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fun and hilarious book. I love the twisted comedy and the wonderful narrator. I do feel though that this is a book that is best consumed slowly. It is a very quick read but I found myself getting tired by some of the shtick. It is a great addition to our library and a great pick for those who love twisted and hilarious fairy tales.

[Mrs. DL · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was so much fun! Never thought I´d be rooting this hard for the Stepmother, but Kiersten White always does that to you: turning tables and twisting stories. Re-telling is definitely where she shines the brightest.

[Theresa Grissom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this hilarious book! Can't wait to share this with the upper elementary students at school. For fans of A Tale Dark and Grimm series.

[Chelsea Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book! So funny and so well written!

[Amelia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid late elementary book. For kids who like their “scary” stuff to be funny too. There was a lot of word play and the narrator in the book broke the wall often (which I think made it hilarious) BUT that might be a little much for a reluctant reader or someone who struggles.

[Liliana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reviewed on Lili Lost in a Book

Vampires and Zombies and Stepmothers, Oh my!

I can always count on Kiersten White for a fun, humorous read, and this was no exception! While yes it is an MG novel, I do like to read them every once in awhile, and this one was amazing! I thoroughly enjoyed it!

So this book basically has fairy tale retellings but with a spooky twist! Plus, it has some nursery rhyme story elements thrown in too! I totally loved the blend of fairy tales with the nursery rhymes! When I first heard about this book I thought it was going to be a sort of anthology of retellings, but no! It actually has a very linear story and it was a lot of fun to see all these different stories combined into one epic book! It does change POVs, so it will seem like we’re starting a new story with another character not pertinent to the previous story we were just reading. However, it's all interconnected, trust me.

I also have to talk about the narrator because they were just so darn sassy, and I loved it! The narrator was also very self-aware and it almost reminded me of Deadpool! It was just very cool!

[The queen] pulled the blindfold off the huntsman.
“WHAT DO I DO KNOW?” HE SHOUTED, BECAUSE HE COULDN’T HEAR ANYTHING AND DIDN’T REALIZE THE QUEEN COULD HEAR PERFECTLY WELL. THIS IS WHAT YOU DO, TOO, WHEN YOU HAVE HEADPHONES ON AND FORGET NO ONE ELSE DOES. SEE HOW ANNOYING IT IS?

---

(Wait a second—she’s BURNING the books? What a horrible girl! I hate her! Quick, make sure she isn't burning this one, because we still have a lot of ground to cover before the end.)

Some of the characters we meet include, Jack (as in ‘and the Beanstalk,’ obviously), Rapunzel, Snow White, Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Jack and Jill, the Stepmother, and so many others! I loved the overlapping between the characters, and I can’t go into too much detail because you just have to meet them yourself! It was really crazy and fun! And I loved how all the characters interacted with one another. I will say that, surprisingly, my favorite character was... the stepmother. She is basically the one who holds everything together, and I loved that twist! But isn’t she evil, you must be asking yourself. Well, you’re just gonna have to see for yourself. I also liked Jack, who I guess was our protagonist, but only because he’s an idiot and everything was pretty much his fault. Lol. But yeah, he was a really fun character.

I very much enjoyed the author’s unique spin on all these famous stories—it was so much fun! I loved the world, the plethora of characters, the cool typography, and the fun illustrations. And I loved that it was a bit spooky and a whole lot of funny, all at the same time! Plus, it has a gorgeous cover.

Whether you're a kid or a kid at heart, you will definitely enjoy this book!

[Bunny · Rating 4 out of 5]

The last book Jeremiah and I read together with him as an 8-year old. And he was tickled.

I got a few wide eyes, and mild chuckles. Which was disappointing because seriously, this book absolutely cracks me up and I would've been laughing hysterically.

But he absolutely appreciated these twisted fairy tales, and it's another tick in the box for "hey, remember how you liked ____, now try this" when he gets older and maybe doesn't feel as exuberant about reading.

[Nicole (Reading Books With Coffee) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked Beanstalker, but that's no surprise, considering I love Kiersten White.  What is surprising is that I still haven't started Slayer, but I'll have to read it soon.  

Beanstalker is a really cute middle grade.  The versions that White did of the different fairy tales are really funny, and really original.  It's still the fairy tales we all know and love but with vampires and zombies and lots of other cool stuff.  

It's quirky and she did a great job at turning every single story on its head.  I wouldn't expect anything else from her.  Even if I didn't know she wrote Beanstalker, I'd know it was written by her, because it has the humor and writing style I've gotten to know with all of her books.  

I loved how the stories worked really well on their own, but they also came together as a larger story really well.  I enjoyed the stories at the beginning a lot more than the ones later on, but overall, I really liked the stories.  I loved that all of the stories took place in the same kingdom, and how connected all of the characters were.  The Stepmother was pretty interesting.  In that sense, it makes me think of Once Upon A Time, and how connected those characters and worlds were.  

The illustrations were really cool, and I liked the rhymes that separated each story.  It would be interesting to see her write these same stories for a slightly older audience, because there are a lot of interesting directions she could go.  Still, I can see a lot of kids really liking it.

My Rating: 4 stars.  Beanstalker is a cute middle grade book, full of really funny re-tellings.  It's not my favorite Kiersten White book, but I still really liked it!

[Rebekah Burnette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious 😂 Honestly, it was like reading something I would've written. The commentary was absolute GOLD 🤌🖤

[Dominique · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really grate story. It is the perfect combination of stories and characters. I think that it’s very clever how the different stories and characters were intertwined. I love the stepmother she was just trying to do what she thought was best and I hope she has better luck with this child. I can see myself reading this book to some of the older children that I watch. Thank you Kiersten for these terrifically twisted tales.

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was exactly the sort of creative, snarky, scary-but-not-too-scary fun I hoped it would be. (Not that I'm surprised by Kiersten White producing amazing work.) Reminiscent of Gidwitz's Tale Dark and Grimm, but leaning into the humor in a different way. Definitely going to be recommending this one!

[Ана Хелс · Rating 5 out of 5]

Според моето скромно мнение първата среща на българските читатели с Кирстен Уайт можеше и да е малко по-забавна. Е, не казвам, че епиката за родата на Дракула в алтернативна история не звучи доста привлекателно, но какво ще кажете за пратчетовска каша от класически приказки, наводнени с ята от зомбита, вампири, върколаци и всякаква всеядна гад, разказана с много словесни каламбури, игри на думи и граматически шегички, от които по-нърдски едва ли ще намерите някъде?

Каква е тази история, в която Пепеляшка е войнстващ пироман, Чаровният принц е един за всички, но не всички са за него, Снежанка е очарователен бебе – вампир, Джил е ловец на свръхестествена гадория, а Джак, освен че се катери по бобени стъбла да тормози горките великани, прави грахова супа, ама с пикня, създаваща зомбита, и обучаваща англоговорящите деца за важността на добрата грамотност? Ако злата кралица или мащеха или майка са един и същий човек, и то всъщност доста добродушен и опитващ да спаси света от самия него; ако се зомбифицира куцо и сакато, включае добрата стара червена шапчица, рязко развиваща особен вкус към вълчи мозъци, а разни принцеси лежат върху легла с различно количество грахови зърна, ама от преработен жълтеникъв вид с аромат на ацетон, как се очаква да се оцелява по правилата на поне стотина фентъзийни вселени в едно?

Смешно с леко грубиянски привкус, страшно по безумен начин и изненадващо с откачените си обрати, излезли от брутален ум, пълен с дебилни шегички и сякаш много лични причини да се пречукат по милион забавни начини всички светли и добри приказни герои. Ако сте им набрали много на цялото царство от класически приказки от съзиданието до днес – хвърлете едно око на тази смехотворна бърканица от чудатости, и няма да съжалявате за новия поглед към детството си, който въоръжен с цинизъм и здрав разум украсява нещата в доста по-различни краски. Аз пък ще се позамисля над упражненията в стил екзотичен Дракула на Кирстен, ако има и поне трошичка от това зловещо чувство за хумор – усещам, че ще се разберем.

[Rustin Verret · Rating 3 out of 5]

Prepare to be surprised. What if all the elementary fairy tales you thought you knew were different. What if Snow White was undead? What if Rapunzel didn't have long hair, but a very slimy herr? What if Cinderella could make ashes and cinders? That's exactly the kind of surprises this story holds. The kinds you wouldn't think of your favorite childhood fairy tales. One thing you should know by the end of this story is spelling matters! Will all the characters survive or join the undead and turn evil?

This book was a little bit strange. All of the stories are a spin-off of a classic Grimm fairy tale. They were supposed to be a little scary, but I thought it was more of elementary horror if that's even a thing. At first, it seems like these are a bunch of collective stories, but as you read, it turns into a full plot. I think the two centers of the story were probably the Stepmother and Jack. My favorite stories were probably the Cinderella stories and Goldilocks stories. They were both pretty funny and the plot was a little less predictable than the other ones. The reason why I gave this 3 stars is that I thought it was well written, but still a little predictable and boring.

Next up: Well, That Was Awkward by Rachel Vail

Still reading: The Night Diary by Veera Hiranandani

[Monique · Rating 2 out of 5]

“There were wolves and bears going about, minding their own business, unaware that very soon they would be descended upon by monsters. Or little girls. In this book, they might be the same thing.” (Pg. 3)

Well started this one as a nod to the upcoming Halloween season to see if I could add this to my evergrowing list of booktrailers and books that I talk about to my kids ad nauseum LOL..it is what I do..This one begins with a prologue introducing a remorseful horse lamenting on how he didn’t mean to kill a prince and that it was all over a misunderstanding with homonyms...The book then goes into different retellings of fairytales starting with:

Rapunzel living in a tower with a Fair Herr not fair hair with the Herr being an extra large hungry snake;

Snow White as a child vampire with the pure white skin, black hair and blood red lips..

Jack as the first stepson of the wicked Queen who is sent off to a new kingdom and meets Jill--Jack and Jill have their adventures and when they part Jill dons a signature red hood and becomes Little Red Riding Hood..

The princess and the pea--which again relied heavily on homonyms and spelling to make a delightfully disgusting story that was actually quite witty and fun…
There are appearances from Cinderella (and Prince Charring), Jack and the Beanstalk, Snow White and seven hirsute children and lots of weird silly things..
This book wasn’t bad it was just a little much to retell, a kinda iffy recommendation but glad it was there to read...Okay let's see what's next!