Mentoring: The Ministry of Spiritual Kinship

by Edward C. Sellner

In this newly revised and expanded edition of a contemporary classic, Edward Sellner mines the deep wisdom of many traditions—from Celtic to Minnesotan, from Joan of Arc to C.S. Lewis—and demonstrates how relationships of mentoring, rooted and grounded in the love of Christ, can forge fast friendship, heal wounds from the past, and bring about the Reign of God. Sellner speaks from firsthand knowledge and experience of mentoring—the practice of direction, counsel, and formation which has enjoyed an enormous resurgence in our time in arenas as disparate as business, the recovery movement, and spiritual direction. This timely book is itself an opportunity to engage with a wise and seasoned elder.

Genres: Leadership, Spirituality

166 pages, Hardcover

First published April 1, 1990

About the author

Edward Cletus Sellner, BA, MA, PhD

Reviews

[Matthew A · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book, Mentoring: The Ministry of Spiritual Kinship by Edward C. Sellner, gets a rating of five out of five stars. I enjoyed this non-fiction/Christian spirituality book, which has the author (Edward C. Sellner) who expresses profound practices of spiritual mentoring. To start off, the theme of this book is the role of mentoring. We see this theme of the book when the topic of the section of chapter one is "Experiences of Being Mentored", and the author shares what mentoring is to him. "Each of us can recall a time when we wanted someone to talk with, to listen to our concerns, to help us discover or clarify a barely perceived direction in which we needed to go" (Sellner 19). Similarly, we see the conflict of the protagonist, who is the author, Sellner: the conflict being his search for his identification. He states this when he goes into mentoring to find his way in his own life and not just rely on our surroundings to save us, meaning to find his purpose with God beside him. He expresses, "When we are young and searching for identity and meaning, we look outwards to others, sometimes to heroes or heroines, surrounded by stories and deeds and myths" (Sellner 19). In addition, the resolution to this problem of not knowing his self-identity was resolved when he found that mentoring guides you. Sellner was lost in his stage of life, where he did not know what to do. Later on he found his purpose with his mentor, called C. S. Lewis. He stated, "I found that Lewis was guiding me again" (Selner 38). Furthermore, the characterization that I realized Sellner was is that he is a dynamic character. At the beginning he was lost, his heart was lost, and then that changed to knowing what his heart wanted in his life. With him stating, "Through our reflection upon the good times and bad, the significant events and especially persons of our lives, we may experience a change of heart" (Sellner 137). Moreover, the style of this book is symbolic with relation to a metaphor. He explains the word "anamchara." With him sharing, "The ancient Irish, in fact, had a word for someone who acts as a spiritual mentor in a relationship of great depth. The word is anamchara, ‘soul friend,’ someone who joyfully embraces our life, questions, and suffering as an extension of his or her own; someone with whom we can speak the language of the heart”​ (Sellner 64). We see this as symbolism and a metaphor because he depicts the mentor as a partner who shares the emotional and spiritual journey of the mentee. Lastly, after finishing this book, it took me a while to find the genre of this book because it has so many. However, the genre I believe this book is is spirituality and Christian ministry. The author says, "Mentoring is a form of spiritual guidance that not only is limited to "spiritual" affairs, God, and prayer—it includes all of life" (Sellner 34). Which basically sums up how the genre is spirituality and Christian ministry. Therefore, the reason why I also say this is the genre is because throughout the book it teaches not only the reader but the author as well that as we grow in our lives, we go through difficulties that can harm us, but our spiritual journey can always grow and stay strong with the help of mentoring.


Five Words
Treader
Juxtaposition
Perilous
Conjectures
Premonitions

[Keri Murcray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book and a great introduction to my current study of soul friends/spiritual mentoring. Mush of the book really spoke to me and I have tones of notes, but here are some favorite quotes:

“The ancient Irish, in fact, had a word for someone who acts as a spiritual mentor in a relationship of great depth. The word is anamchara, ‘soul friend,’ someone who joyfully embraces our life, questions and suffering as an extension of his or her own; someone with whom we can speak the language of the heart; someone, as Augustine defines true friendship, one’s soul cannot be without.”

“There is no perfect way of being a soul friend. Ultimately one must look within one’s heart and to the God who works through our strengths and weaknesses – most remarkably, it seems, and most often in spite of them. It is God who is our friend, our guide, our mentor, the one who loved us first. As Merton so wisely tells us,…the soul friend or spiritual mentor ‘is not to be regarded as a magical machine solving cases and declaring the will of God;’ he or she, rather, ‘helps to strengthen us in our groping efforts to correspond with the grace of the Holy Spirit, who alone is the true Director in the fullest sense of the word.’”

“’the communion of saint’ – not a community of perfect people, but a union of soul friends and sinners struggling to make sense of our lives and to live with some degree of integrity and hope.”

“The ministry of being a spiritual mentor or soul friend consists primarily of a friendship relationship between equals who bring their maturity and wisdom to each other’s quest for holiness and God. In that mutual expression of questions, insights and gifts, both partners are changed and a communion of souls is born.”

“What happiness, what security, what joy to have someone to whom you dare to speak on terms of equality to another self; one to whom you need have no fear to confess your failings; one to whom you can unblushingly make known what progress you have made in the spiritual life; one to whom you can entrust all the secrets of your heart.” ~ Aelred of Rievaulx

[Mark Oppenlander · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an odd, electic little book on the concept of spiritual mentoring. The author is Catholic and comes from a lineage of Midwestern farmer. He has worked as both a college professor and a chemical dependcy counselor. This varied background causes him to come at this topic of mentoring from a number of angles.

Sellner discusses historical models of spiritual mentoring from the desert Fathers and Mothers and the Irish monastic tradition (i.e. the "soul friend"), devotes an entire chapter to the mentoring work of C.S. Lewis and gives another entire chapter over to the mentoring we can receive from our own dreams. He is well read and makes interesting points, but the whole thing feels a bit like "surprise soup." Everything is here but the kitchen sink and you never know what you're going to get with the next bite.

Nonetheless, this is an interesting and entertaining book on the topic of mentoring from someone who's unique point of view and wide-ranging interests are almost certain to provide the reader with new perspective and some real nuggets of wisdom.

[Cheryl · Rating 2 out of 5]

A quiet, thought-provoking book. I enjoyed the personal element especially. I, too, am a fan of C.S. Lewis so it isn't surprising I enjoyed this book.