Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

Torn From the Inside Out

Rate this book
During a cold, February thunderstorm, in the dark of night, Sara Niles fled for her life with her five children in tow, forced to disappear in order to stay alive. Torn From the Inside Out is a true story of extreme domestic violence and family dysfunction that begins with the heroic intervention of an 83 year-old uncle, when Sara Niles was a 3 1/2 year-old child, living in a perilous climate. Sara’s great-great Uncle Robert saves her, and takes her home to live on a beautiful, paradisiac farm to live with he, and his childless wife, Sara’s Aunt Molly. Set in the Rural South during a time of racial conflict, Sara begins her life racially mixed, half White and half Black, during the late 1950’s. The story fast forwards, as the wonderful life provided by Sara's aged uncle and aunt falls apart, leaving Sara vulnerable to the advances of Vietnam Veteran Thomas Niles, whom she marries when only sixteen years old. Niles is a violent and abusive man, given to sudden rages and fits of mood that were entirely foreign to Sara. True to Sara’s optimistic spirit, Sara attempts to help Thomas Niles conquer his demons, while hoping and wishing for better times, and enduring abuse, Sara eventually comes to the realization Thomas Niles is a killer, who promises to kill her and ‘every one of those children’, if she tried to leave him. Torn From the Inside Out probes the depth of human behavior to the root of existence, as it emotionally traverses the soil of our hearts and souls. Human relationships from early childhood through adulthood, color our views of selves and the world around us. Our pasts are what make us what we are. It is the pain that is experienced through earlier life that makes us wise in hindsight; illuminating the past with new light. It is through the lens of life that Sara tells her “In the process of my evolution, I became a victim of domestic war, an emotional casualty for a major portion of my life, entwined, entrapped and emotionally involved, until I learned how to become free. Freedom has never been easily gained and has often come at high cost throughout history, but one thing I will always know is freedom is worth every fight, and all pain.” Sara Niles from Torn From the Inside Out In every life there is a timeless and unforgettable minute or day that will be forever etched into our mind’s memory. I have unforgettable memories that are so vivid that I see them in Technicolor, and I hear them with surround sound. Long after I am dead, I believe, I will remember. Two of those memories were the days of my escape to freedom…twice. I am the little girl who sat in the sand over fifty years ago, and this is my story. Thunder rattled the window- panes two stories high and lightning split the sky; it was as if the whole world was in turmoil that night. My nerves were keyed up as tight as piano strings, and in a sudden moment of stillness and silence it felt as though my heartbeat was amplified ten times over. He was over a hundred pounds greater than I, nearly a foot taller, and I knew he could move his muscled body into unbelievable sprints. Rain started falling in torrents, while the storm raged outside. I was not afraid of the storms of nature; it was the storm inside this night that I knew I might not survive

356 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 1, 2004

7 people are currently reading
1167 people want to read

About the author

Sara Niles

52 books57 followers
Sara Niles is a Memoirist, Essayist, and Nonfiction Author on a lifelong mission.

Driven by Inner Passions, Victor vows to kill the monster:
“I have but one resource; and I devote myself, either in my life or death, to his destruction.”
Frankenstein, Mary Shelley


Passion fueled by pain propels the greatest artists of our times, as it has done for thousands of years. Humans are emotionally driven more than any other beings. We built pyramids, statues, create art on cathedral ceilings, sing songs that stir the soul, and we write, casting words onto stone walls, papyrus, and leather tomes, which has evolved in today’s vast digital cyber-market, forcing would be authors to vie for space and chance to be seen in a competitive cyberspace filled with millions of productions of electronic books, and guarded by stingy and suppressive algorithms. In short, it is difficult for any author, good, great, or bad, to be discovered. Today it is easier to publish books, if you are driven to do so, but it is nearly impossible to be discovered; so why even bother to write at all?

Necessity Compels Me

Over six decades of life history steadily recedes in the rearview mirror of my life, as time relentlessly moves on, steady and unstoppable. Each day that passes is another lost chance of being recognized, discovered, appreciated, and read. A book unread is like a tree in the forest that is cut down-who hears it fall, does it make a sound at all? If I wrote solely for the financial reward, I would have starved to death years ago, and if I wrote for recognition, I would have given up, but neither of those two reasons are the primary motivators for me. I write from a place so deep in my soul that I could not stop if I wanted to, because writing has become a life-saving mission for me. It is an inextinguishable fire that grows as time passes. I must get these words out ‘there’ into the world, as my legacy, the most valuable thing I can give to the world. Maya Angelou, the world’s sage, once said ‘if you want to know me, you have to know where I have been;’ and yes, I have read all her writings, among thousands of other richly endowed literary giants, past and present. The point is you must know the backstory to know me.

Backstory

My mother did me one great favor when I was born, she kept me alive long enough to give me away to elderly relatives who had been childless in their young lives, so they blessed me as a God-given gift like that given to Sarah and Abraham of old. I was their treasure, and as such the entire clan of relatives rushed to my rescue, lavishing me with sage wisdom, although I did not value it as such then. The Legend of Bob White raised me himself, a man who ran away at sixteen after his father died, because his mother shamed him at the church Christmas party. Bob, who was otherwise known as Robert then, tore the eight-foot-tall tree down, sent gifts flying as women shrieked, and ran away. Thirty years passed as successes, disasters and tragedies followed, compelling Robert Howard to return to the land that had been his boyhood home, where he created a paradise, a farm rich with fruit trees, flowers, and farm animals.
It was to this ‘Flowerbed of Eden’ when I was three- and one-half years old that I was hoisted upon the shoulders of an old man whom I would later know to be a ‘giant’ among men. The day my ancient savior took me home was the most unforgettable day of my life, a transformative day that changed who I would later become. My great uncle was born in the late 1800’s, having his own backstories embedded in a cruel past in which his blood relatives were both White and Black, as he was the son of a father who had endured slavery by his own kin, his own White father, and slave mother. My great-uncle was a wonderful storyteller who performed as an orator of family history, one story involved the value of the land held in trust by families of the post slavery times. The land was the only surety in the fa

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
24 (61%)
4 stars
6 (15%)
3 stars
6 (15%)
2 stars
3 (7%)
1 star
0 (0%)
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
Author 4 books12 followers
May 18, 2014
“Torn from the inside out is a non-fiction account of a woman who spends thirteen years in an abusive marriage. Synthesizing an entire book down to that one sentence robs it of the true horror that this book represents.

The book follows Sara from her life as a child to her life as a battered wife. What I expected and found in this book is the horrible, repetitive, numbing nature of domestic abuse. In doing only that, Sara has done a service with her book. For those of you not familiar with domestic abuse, you’ll find that Sara expertly guides the reader through the unfortunately well-worn path and progression of this pathology. Starting with the initial disbelief and ending with a numbness and acceptance of repeated, awful terrors, Sara weaves a tapestry of pure evil and hopelessness.

Sara has a fine evocative touch with her pen. The story begins with a rendering of an almost idyllic life in the rural south during the nineteen-sixties. Poetic and flowery without being cloying, Sara’s style is highly evocative. Almost immediately the reader finds themselves immersed in the culture and the period of Sara’s youth. Slowly, throughout the book, the tone changes to fit the events and people that become a reality in the life of a battered woman, fighting for the survival of her and her children. Sara’s narrative expertly fits the events in her book.

Sara has done her job, leading the reader as she was led, into the psychopathy and lies of abuse. The question becomes, for the reader: Why read a book that is disturbing and terrifying and, worst of all, true to life? While the book is a “good read”, it also has elements that are shocking and raw. The answer to this question lies in Sara’s assertion that we are entrusted with the well-being of others, especially the children who are put into our care. Consider first that thousands of women are killed each year due to domestic violence. Consider also that the children who witness endless and senseless violence from a father who is a sociopath, have their world-view warped and their self-image twisted. Often this leads to substance abuse, mental health issues, and, often, to becoming abusers themselves.

If this were only true in even a hundred cases a year, a reader might consider this a marginal problem. What is true is that there are thousands of women abused ever year which represents thousands of families and thousands of children whose lives are essentially ruined for the years that they are witnesses to abuse and, quite often, for years after.
Torn From the Inside Out
This book is worth your time. If nothing else it will make you think. At best it will sensitize you to an issue that affects society, and the reader, in ways that have only begun to be examined by law makers, police and mental health practitioners.
Profile Image for C.L. Heckman.
Author 9 books98 followers
July 3, 2014
Being a product of abuse, this book tug at many memories of mine that I choose to forget. My heart ached for Sara and her children in every scene of abuse. The author did such an amazing job writing the scenes that I felt as though I was standing right next to Sara during most of the book. Be prepared for raw emotions to come out while reading this.

There is nothing more terrifying then walking away, and I commend Sara on the courage she pulled from within to do it. I really liked how she introduced us to her childhood because I feel it is a vital part to her life story, and it would have felt empty if she opened the book at the beginning of her marriage. I feel so horrible that the author had to live through this horrendous relationship with her husband. It honestly broke my heart to read her story, but I commend her on the strength she had to get out of it, and the courage to write about it and share it for other victims.

I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.
Author 26 books130 followers
April 28, 2014
In "Torn From the Inside Out" Sara Niles takes the reader through the escalating cycles of abuse. Watching her grow from a lively and curious child to a tortured and demoralized wife and mother is a compelling if painful journey. This is not a book for the squeamish but it is a book for anyone who has been impacted or has someone in her life who has been a victim/survivor of domestic violence.
Born and raised in the rural south of the 1970's Sara's story could as easily be about a girl raised in a big northern city now. Documenting her abuse at the hands of her husband Sara Niles holds back nothing. As the reader travels the long road with her it is sometimes difficult to remember this is not a work of fiction. It seems almost unbelievable that such cruelty could occur in recent history. As our eyes are opened we must ask what we as a society can do to prevent these crimes to continue, what support can be offered to victims of abuse, and how the laws can be re-written to benefit the abused.
Profile Image for Angelia Herrin.
45 reviews17 followers
May 27, 2013
This is a very touching book about one woman's struggle through the horror of domestic violence. It's about how it affected her life as well as her children's life. As a survivor of domestic violence myself I want to personally thank this author for sharing her story.
Now with that being said I also have to say that this book was a hard read for me. The Book that I read was copyrighted 2004, and I believe there may be a newer edition available, however the one that I read is a self published book and could benefit from some editing.
1 review2 followers
November 7, 2012
Great book , A wiman after my own heart dont know how you manged but you did God bless you
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.