Prodigals and Those Who Love Them

by Ruth Bell Graham

For anyone waiting for a prodigal's return.

There is perhaps nothing that brings more angst to a parent's heart than waiting for a prodigal to return home. Beloved author Ruth Bell Graham knew about prodigals--two of her five children were spiritual wanderers. In this time-tested classic, she offers encouragement to those who anxiously wait.

This is not a "how to" book that dispenses advice on ways to win back a prodigal. Instead, it is a collection of readings one woman turned to for comfort when her children wandered from God. It shows how Graham's faith persevered and grew regardless of the outcome of her prodigals' stories.

In Part One, Graham introduces you to five prodigals who "returned to the father." In Part Two, she offers comfort and encouragement through Scripture, poems, hymns, prayers, and more. You will be touched by the honest feelings of pain, frustration, and uncertainty Graham expresses so eloquently. And you will share in the lessons she learned about God's sovereignty and ultimate peace.

Now beautifully repackaged, Prodigals and Those Who Love Them brings peace and hope to all parents of "wayward" children.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Parenting, Christian Living, Christian Non Fiction, Christianity, Prayer

160 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1991

About the author

Ruth Graham was born in China; her parents were American medical missionaries at the Presbyterian Hospital 300 miles north of Shanghai. Ruth was a Christian from an early age. She graduated from Wheaton College, Illinois, where she met her future husband Billy Graham. They were married on August 13, 1943 in Montreat, NC when she was 23. Her husband became a full time evangelist preaching the gospel all over the world. She loved to move behind the scenes, away from the spotlight, and helped him craft and research sermons and even books. She wrote as an emotional release, while her husband was so often on the road. Ruth convinced Billy to move the family to Montreat, near her parents, when their first child was on the way. Her ministry flourished in the mountains of western North Carolina, where she built the family homestead and raised five children. Ruth and Billy were married over 65 years and had 19 grandchildren and numerous great-grandchildren. Ruth Graham died at the age of 87.

Reviews

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

More than anything, I appreciate this book. I read it before I needed it and it helped me get through the pain.

From the book:
They felt good eyes upon them
and shrank within--undone;
good parents had good children
and they--a wandering one.

The good folk never meant
to act smug or condemn,
but having prodigals
just "wasn't done" with them.

Remind them gently, Lord,
How You
have trouble with Your children,
too.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

In her book, Mrs. Graham writes from the heart of a mom who knows what it is like to have a child stray from home, and our speaker shared how the book had been an encouragement to her as she experienced something similar with her son. At this time, my three children are young adults and thankfully they are all professing Christians. But I have more than one close family member whose spiritual condition I am particularly concerned about, so I set about getting my hands on a copy of Mrs. Graham’s book. It wasn’t what I expected: I was hoping for instructions on how to correct the situation (anyone who knows me, knows I’m a “fixer”), but it turned out to be better than that.

Of course most of us are familiar with Jesus' parable of the prodigal son, in which the younger of two brothers demands his father for his inheritance, then goes away from home and wastes it all in selfish, debauched living. Because of our familiarity with the New Testament story, when we hear the word “prodigal” we often think of a loved one, usually a child, who has left home and family under unhappy circumstances, or one who has in some way strayed. In her book, Mrs. Graham shares true stories about prodigals, including St. Augustine and the hymn writer John Newton. Interspersed between the stories are poems and memorable quotes that express the heartfelt concerns and prayers of those who have a loved one who is lost. This poem by Mrs. Graham is a reminder that there is more than one way in which a parent may mourn for a child:

Be tender with, O Lord, we pray
the one whose child lies dead today.

Be tenderer, Lord, we plead
for those with runaways
for whom moms bleed.

But tenderest of all with each
whose child no longer cares,
is out of reach.

Of course every Christian parent’s greatest desire is to see their children walking with the Lord, and their greatest grief is to see a child turn their back on all that they have tried to provide and teach them. Mrs. Graham says that the term prodigal “suggests wastefulness, a squandering of life, time, abilities, talents.” As a mother, it is very painful to pour my love, time, energy, and resources into the lives and well-being of my children, and then see them waste what I have invested in them. Am I a perfect mom? Of course not. Perhaps I couldn’t give my children everything I wish I could have, and I definitely made mistakes and have some regrets. Graham shares these words from Colleen Evans’ book Start Loving: The Miracle of Forgiving:

"Our failures. That’s the hardest area, especially when they have affected the lives of our loved ones. As our children step out into the adult world…it hurts to see areas of need and struggle that stem in part from ways we have failed them…[but] even these areas are part of the ‘all things’ which God will use to make a man and a woman who will accomplish His unique purposes. So when thoughts of my failures push their way into my consciousness, I let His total forgiveness dissolve my regrets, and go on to praise Him who accepts us just as we are and lovingly works to make us more than we are."

As I carry out my role as a mom, I need to be sure I am doing it first for the Lord, in obedience and honor to Him, not for what I expect to get in return. Mrs. Graham quotes Samuel Rutherford, “Duties are ours, events are God’s. When our faith goes to meddle with events, and to hold account upon God’s Providence…we lose ground.” I must believe that God is sovereign in the life of my child, and that He has her on the path He has marked out for her and is working His will in her.

If you are a parent whose child appears to be on a path that is leading him or her away from God or who is living in blatant sin and rebellion against God, keep praying and never give up hope that God may one day bring the lost one back to Him and to you.

To read my longer review with excerpts from the book, visit my blog: www.ImAllBooked.com.

[Carolyn F. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think my problem with this book is that I thought the blurb was just being humble and that it really was a book of insight into bringing back or living without the prodigal. All I felt this book was conveying were various stories about and prayers for the prodigal. Nothing I could sink my teeth into and say, "I will try that." So although this book is chock full of prayers for the prodigal, there wasn't anything that would help my situation. I was disappointed.

If the above is just what you need to get through this time, then this book is perfect for you.

[Melinda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having a "prodigal son" of my own, this book has been a God-send. I've only just started reading it, but already give it 5 stars after just 21 pages. My eyes filled with tears as I read last night, thinking "Someone else has felt this way!" I only wish Mrs. Graham were still alive so that I could send her a thank-you note for this wonderful book.

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the second time I've read this book, which is an automatic 5-stars for me.

The first time I read it was over 30 years ago, and then, years later, I gave it to a friend in a Bible study whose heart ached over her brother. When I had given it to her, I told her I didn't need it anymore because "all my prodigals have come home." And her prodigal did seem to do better for a time. I remember going over all the answered prayers for him with her... But, he ended up dying young, in a way I suspect had something to do with his being a prodigal, and my heart ached and ached and ached for her for all the loss she suffered over those years. There are no magical answers. I knew that then. I know that now. I don't know why some prodigals come home and some never seem to.

And now, I've sought out the comfort of this book again. I remembered the title and got a new copy. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" for those who love a prodigal. It's not a how-to manual. It's hope and grace and truth. First, I'll review the book and then I'll add a few little thoughts of my own.

I thought I'd wrap up this book today because I didn't have much left of it, and now I'm sorry to close it. I did it little by little, section by section, over the days. Often, it was just a short verse or a short poem for the day.

The author was Billy Graham's wife, and two of her five children were prodigals. She has such a way with words. One of my favorite parts of "Decision" magazine has always been the little scraps of poetry she wrote on the back.

Some of this book was familiar to me. I remembered it even after all these years. Other parts of this book were like brand new.

I found it interesting that it opened with the story of St. Augustine's mother because my kids' Bible teacher had just mentioned her to me, and I had done an internet search of the story he told, to try to learn more of the details. It was well told here, though. I love the line the bishop told Augustine's mother, "It is not possible that a son of such tears [as his mother's] should be lost."

Also, I like the bishop's other comfort to her, "A mind so subtle and acute could not long continue in such adroit but deceptive reasoning." That reminded me of "... so these men also oppose the truth, men corrupted in mind and disqualified regarding the faith. But they will not get very far, for their folly will be plain to all ..." - 2 Timothy 3:8b-9a. I take comfort that the folly will become clear to all, that things won't get very far, etc, although I haven't seen very much of that yet.

I did not remember the story of Fyodor Dostoyevski, but since I've read this the last time, I've also read Dostoyevski's "Brothers Karamazov" with the "Grand Inquisitor" section that is one of my mom's favorites. So, the familiar name made more of an impression on me than it did the last time I read "Prodigals." Exiled in Siberia, Dostoyevski wrote, "One sees the truth more clearly when one is unhappy and yet God gives me moments of perfect peace; in such moments I love and I believe that I am loved; in such moments I have formulated my creed, wherein all is clear and holy to me. This creed is extremely simple. Here it is. I believe there is nothing lovelier, deeper, more sympathetic, more rational, more manly, and more perfect than the Savior."

Years later, on his deathbed, Dostoyevski revisited the story of the Prodigal Son, and said, "Have absolute faith in God and never despair of His pardon."

I loved so many of the hymns, poems, and scripture verses in this book that I can't mention them all: "In Tenderness He Sought Me," "Can You Trust Me, Child?", Robert Browning's "God's Ultimate Gift", and "Perhaps She Will Land Upon that Shore" were beautiful. The "Prayer for the Inmate" was touching.

“Men may spurn our appeals, reject our message, oppose our arguments, despise our persons – but they are helpless against our prayers.” – Sidlow Baxter

"... so that none is able to withstand Thee" -2 Chronicles 20:6

- - - my thoughts

"Love ... always hopes." 1 Corinthians 13:7

I also like S. D. Gordon's book "Quiet Talks on Prayer" and the chapter about this topic. What has stayed with me from that book was the hope. I think S. D. Gordon also talked about praying for the lost, and when we don't know whether or not someone became a Christian before they died. I thought it was very compassionately done

I'd also recommend Lee Thomas's "Praying Effectively for the Lost," the Kendricks Brothers' "The Battle Plan for Prayer," and Stormie O'Martin's "The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children." I've read all but "The Battle Plan," and that one our Sunday School class did pieces of.

[Ken Bickley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book by one who knew whereof she wrote. It was naturally written from a mother's point of view, but can be read with profit by anyone. It should be read at a leisurely pace, with time given to contemplation. The chapters on Newton and Dostoevsky are particularly interesting to me; one will find the author's own observations to also be relevant. Read it, think it over, and see if you don't agree. It's food for thought, whether or not you are acquainted with a "prodigal".

[Melinda · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very worthwhile book that does not answer the question "what do I do with my prodigal?", but instead answers "how do I live even when my prodigal has chosen to live foolishly?". You do have to live, and you cannot make decisions for your adult prodigal.... so this book is refreshingly honest about what you DO. You pray. You love them. And you release them to the consequences they have chosen.... WHILE praying for them and loving them.

[Jarm Boccio · Rating 4 out of 5]

Did you know that both Billy Graham and his daughter Gigi had prodigal sons who eventually through pain and prayers came back to the fold? This book, written by Ruth Graham, Billy’s wife, is full of prayers, poems and pondering for the dear ones who for a time, chose a crooked path. She encourages the reader to rest in God's sovereignty and love when their prodigal’s future is uncertain.

[Stefanie Sage · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simply written as a great grace and comfort for all those who love prodigals in their lives. Biographical vignettes are hidden between pages of scripture and Graham’s original poetry. A quick read but one not to be missed especially if the burden of loving a prodigal weighs heavy on your soul.

[Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book for any who are hurting over the wayward child. I love how much of Ruth Graham's counsel focusses on the fact that there are no perfect parents. Even the perfect Father in heaven allows us to reject him.

I particularly liked one quote that came from a book called Start Loving, by Colleen Evans. She writes, "So when thoughts of my failures push their way into my consciousness, I let His total forgiveness dissolve my regrets, and go on to praise Him who accepts us just as we are and lovingly works to make us more than we are."

[C.G.Koens · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel a bit of heel giving this book only two stars, but I hope to forestall the comments by saying that it wasn't at all what I was expecting. Five brief stories of prodigals and those who loved them,and a few hymns, poems, prayers, and parental thoughts. Although not looking for a "how to" book, my expectations of what Ruth would share about her own experiences with prodigal children were high. I was let down.

As for the hymns and poems and prayers and scriptures...as I have walked through my own valleys with my own prodigal, I have found the greatest encouragement comes from what God uses at the time, the words to songs I hear on darkest days, the scriptures I read during my own quiet time, the prayers of my own heart, cried out to my Father for my child. I feel that's a personal experience between you and the Lord, and He will bring along the words and encouragement you need in your situation at the right time. Others might find encouragement in this, but I was hoping for something a little deeper. A more personal account of how Ruth dealt with her prodigals as a mother and a Christian.

[Dan Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I enjoyed the content it was a bit organized.

[Nathan Albright · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is perhaps a bit unfair that when I was reading this book I was thinking about another book on the subject of the parable of the prodigal son that I like a lot better [1].  Perhaps it is a bit unfair, though, to hold this book to the standard of Henri Nouwen's classic combination of personal discussion, sound scriptural exegesis about the parable of the prodigal son, and excellent art history about the life and art of Rembrandt.  This book is nowhere near that great, but it is still a poignant read about those who were thought lost that returned to a faith in Christ Jesus, and it has at least the raw materials of a really good work, if not a great deal of the elaboration on the thoughtful array of materials included.  This book is not a very demanding read and it does not contain a great deal of writing by the author herself, but it is at least an admirable collection of materials mostly written by others and about others that will certainly prompt the reader to think about the working of God's grace in the lives of the people discussed in this book.

In a bit more than 150 pages, the author provides a short biography of different "prodigals" of interest to the author and possibly also the reader, including:  Augustine of Hippo (here called Aurelius Augustine), John Newton (best known as the author of "Amazing Grace"), Flora Campbell, Fyodor Dostoyevski, and one of the author's own children.  Most of the book consists of poetry, quotes, scriptural references, or hymns that the author appreciates and that may (or may not) relate to the material of the book at hand.  This book is basically scaffolding, consisting of a large amount of empty space where only a few lines fill up an entire page.  One gets the feeling that the author wanted to write a book and did not really know how to manage the actual writing portion of it.  The biographical essays of the various prodigals are well done, and the author is moving in writing about a son of hers who came back to faith with his girlfriend who became his wife, but the book feels incomplete, and this thought tended to nag at me while I was reading the book.  It was not that the book was saying anything wrong, exactly, but I did not feel as if the book was saying enough.

It should be noted that this book is written basically to the parents or loved ones of prodigals and not to the prodigals themselves.  The book does not really explore what makes people prodigals, but it goes out of its way not to blame parents for the prodigality of their offspring.  Also of note, especially in light of the superior Nouwen book on the same subject, the author does not examine those who are relationally distant but physically present, the other type of lost children in the parable.  Although parents may suffer because their children have obviously abandoned the faith and traveled far away, a child is just as lost if they obey merely out of duty and do not feel loved or accepted, even if they never physically leave, yet that is something this book does not explore at all.  It is, perhaps, a bit uncharitable to wish for a book to be more than it is, but this book is certainly a comforting one and there are no doubt many readers who will find a great deal to reflect upon and perhaps even enjoy in this volume.

[1] See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...

[G. Clay · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is no real "narrative" flow to this book. It is simply a collection of stories, poems, and verses from the Bible that are meant to encourage those who are praying over their "prodigal."As one who is not dealing with this challenge, my perspective may be different than that of other readers. Several of the stories and verses included seemed helpful. The author included several of her own poems that she had composed when struggling over her "prodigals" - these were probably the weakest elements in the book.

[Stephanie Van · Rating 5 out of 5]

Someone gave me this book to read who has prodigal children. She wanted me to read it, so I am. Even though I'm not in that situation, the historical content of the stories, poems and scripture passages are keeping me interested in the book. I'm sure this would be a hard book for someone going through this situation. It really challenged me to look at my relationship to God concerning my children.

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot say enough good things about this book. I read it back in the day, when my prodigal was in the far country, and it saved my sanity. She writes with such compassion, and such understanding - two of her children were also prodigals. Her poem "They Felt Good Eyes Upon Them" became my mantra. This book moved me to tears frequently, and occasionally doubled me over with remembered pain. Ruth Bell Graham was a Godly woman, and a kind, good woman too. I miss her.

[Denise Spicer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This inspiring book, written in 1991, by the wife of the world famous preacher Billy Graham, will be of use to those who are concerned about family or friends experiencing difficult times.
Lots of poetry, her own and others, some well-known hymns and stories of historical prodigals (St Augustine; John Newton, the ex-slave trader and author of “Amazing Grace”; and Russian writer Dostoyevsky) make this book interesting and quick to read.

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a treasure. It seems truly Providential to read this encouraging book at this time. I loved every part of it, from Ruth's honest poems to the gems from years past of other authors to Scripture passages from God's Word. He is sovereign, and this book reminds me to trust Him, to pray without ceasing, and to find joy in His promises.

[Phillip · Rating 5 out of 5]

This must be the year I read all the books that have sat on my bookshelves for decades. This was a great quick and easy read. Someone could very ably read this book in a few hours or in a day. The timing for this book couldn't have been better as I consider myself a spiritual prodigal living on the fringe of the church for the last however many years. Great read.

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Only those who have prodigal children can understand the agony and suffering a parent goes through each and every day that your child is gone/lost. I am grateful for Mrs Graham's book as it has helped me, too, to "trust in the Lord" for my wayward son. Thank you.

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was not what I was expecting, but found it interesting none the less. It did not talk about Franklin Graham, like I was expecting. It offers a lot of scriptures and Biblical advice regarding families who have prodigals. It has many poems and hymns that bring comfort. It was an easy read.

[Lisa Gail · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this because people sometimes ask me advice concerning their prodigal children. Not being a parent myself, I never know how to respond other than say to pray and wait. Mrs. Graham offers encouragement to parents and shows that those who are rebellious can be used greatly by God.

[Blossom Turner · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is written for the old soul like me. If you love poetry, are of a sensitive nature and have a prodigal or two, you will love this book. I read it in bite size pieces for daily encouragement.

[Umab8587 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very moving book. Encouragement for all with teens/young adults who are questioning their faith.

[Portia · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful book for all mother's to read!!

[Evelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

An encouraging book for those praying for straying loved ones. Collection of stories, poems and hymns.

[Gwendolyn Coleman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read this book many times for many reasons... will always be on my bookshelf.

[Gwendolyn Coleman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A revision of the early version - good words of wisdom,

[Esther · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read and have this book but with a different cover. Excellent!! Short poems, scripture, stories, encouragement for those who wait and pray for prodigals.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book full of hope and comfort of you are in a season of a prodigal! It enlightened my heart and gave me hope! Many stories and gems to hold on to while in this season!