Bend

by Nancy J. Hedin

Lorraine Tyler is the only queer person in Bend, Minnesota. Or at least that’s what it feels like when the local church preaches so sternly against homosexuality. Which is why she’s fighting so hard to win the McGerber scholarship — her ticket out of Bend — even though her biggest competition is her twin sister, Becky. And even though she’s got no real hope — not with the scholarship’s morality clause and that one time she kissed the preacher’s daughter.

Everything changes when a new girl comes to town. Charity is mysterious, passionate, and — to Lorraine’s delighted surprise — queer too. Now Lorraine may have a chance at freedom and real love.

But then Becky disappears, and Lorraine uncovers an old, painful secret that could tear the family apart. They need each other more than ever now, and somehow it’s Lorraine — the sinner, the black sheep — who holds the power to bring them together. But only if she herself can learn to bend.

Genres: LGBT, Fiction, Lesbian, Queer, Young Adult, Realistic Fiction

242 pages, Paperback

First published May 8, 2017

About the author

Nancy J. Hedin completed her MFA at Hamline University in St. Paul, Minnesota. Her novel, Bend, was named Debut Novel of the Year by Golden Crown Literary Society and one of twenty-five books to read for Pride month by Barnes and Noble. Her second novel, Stray, was released in August of 2019 and was a finalist for the Minnesota Book Award in Novel and Short Stories. Old Love is her third novel and intended to honor the volunteers in her hometown of Swanville, Minnesota who make the Mid-Summer Carnival a reality. Old Love is also a reminder that love can come at any age. Hedin has been a pastor and a bartender, at the same time. She has been a stand-up comic and a crisis social worker at the same time. She lives in Arden Hills, St. Paul, MN, with her wife and daughters.

Reviews

[Sam · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I received an e-copy of this book on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

When I read the summary of this book I thought we would get a book about a girl growing up in a small town dealing with prejudice there. And until halfway through the novel that's what it is. It is about Lorraine dealing with her family's homophobia, with their constant use of slurs against her, with the small town prejudice and homophobic preachers, but also with falling in love with another non-straight girl, with wanting to get out of this town but also fearing that she will never be able to. So far, so good, we do get what the Summary promised. And would that have been all of the story I could have really enjoyed it.

For me, the romance felt overly rushed especially in the beginning, and then just weird with certain obstacles that got in their way, so there wasn't as much build up as I would have liked. But it was still nice and I could probably have enjoyed this book quite a bit. I was actually really interested in Lorraine and how she would deal with all the shit she's facing and like I said for a while that actually worked.

However, the rest of the book is terrible. The dark family secret? The MC's sister has schizophrenia. She beats herself thinking God is telling her to do it. She thinks her husband is possessed by Satan and takes refuge in a house for battered women. She gets hospitalized, she comes back out, she tries to kill her own son, she commits suicide in a gruesome and horrifying way. And then? A happy ending. Lorraine only griefs shortly and moves on and finally finds happiness as well. There is no talk about how terrible that must have been for her sister. How hard it must be for her mother to lose a daughter, except for her to reconnect with her own mother. Nothing about the boyfriend who lost his wife. Nothing at all about the sisters own life and how she felt. Nothing about how mentally ill people deserve agency and not to be used as cheap plot devices! Mentally ill people are not a plot device to shock others or to further a neurotypical character's life. Their suicides are not for not mentally ill people to learn from!

I tried to take some time between reading the book and writing the review because after I read it, I was so upset I couldn't calm down for ages. And even now, a few days later, just thinking about this book and its terrible treatment of mental illness makes me sick to the stomach.

[Ian · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a young gay woman living in a deeply conservative and religious community, Lorraine's main goal in life is to graduate from school and go to college. And the further from Bend, Minnesota the better. Then Charity arrives in town. She's the daughter of Bend's most conservative preacher and like Lorraine, gay.

But along with Charity comes family upheaval. A long hidden secret and a family crisis threaten to destroy more than just Lorraine's dreams of college.

I love this book. It's whimsical, innocent, perhaps even a fairy tale but it also deals with some very dark issues. It's Young Adult fiction at its very best.

[Kennedy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Whimsical, with a heavy subject matter in a sort of not heavy way is how I describe this read. Lorraine Tyler is an interesting character due to her home town, place of residence, family dynamics and her strong desire to get out of town. In addition, the question of is she or is she not the black sheep of the family. Charity is a world wind yet fresh air for Lorraine. She has some family dynamic issues too, yet she was able to get out of town but has to return due to some issues at college. When the two meet, it is lust and desire from Lorraine and I may be interested from Charity. If you like interesting, intriguing and possibly usual family happenings then this is the read for you.

Thanks to Bold Strokes Books via NetGalley for the opportunity to review.

[Claire (Book Blog Bird) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a pretty decent read about a girl living in a small town whose only ticket out is a scholarship to college that she doesn't fit the morality criteria for (i.e. she's gay, and the scholarship people are not fans of The Gays). It's more about family dynamics, though, and how you can love and hate the place you live in at the same time. Worth a read.

[Anne Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Slow to start, some pretty heavy stuff 2/3 of the way in. Overall, great book. Really excited to read the sequel !

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bend is a novel that balances humor and depth, explores identity, family, grief, and reminds us of the importance of connection to place and one another. This story touched on religious trauma, queerness, and mental health in an interesting way. At the church in Bend, Pastor Grind uses religious doctrine to control, shame, and silence the community. The church presence in this small town stretches far & wide as a force that defines morality and worth. What makes Bend compelling to me is how Hedin gives voice to the internalized effects of that religious trauma. Lorraine's inner monologue is a constant negotiation between who she is and who she's been told to be. It's not sugarcoated the cost of growing up queer in a fundamentalist environment. We can even turn to Lorraine's sister Becky, who is presumably heterosexual, and a perfect law-abiding church girl. We see how this environment ultimately fails her, and her mental health, too. In the early parts of the book, I really disliked Becky. She felt to represent all the things about conservative Christian environments I've come to loath and have altered my inner monologue. But by the end, I found myself crying for the loss of Becky, found myself deep with compassion for all the ways this rigid way of believing came at her expense, too, and she was too sick to maybe ever see it. It all felt so real to me.
The story of Charity & Lorraine was a tender coming of age. What makes it so powerful is not just the romance itself, but all the circumstances around it: the secrecy, internalized fear, and the clash between religious dogma and self-acceptance. Their connection unfolds with beautiful intimacy and is a great act of defiance and bravery in a world that is trying to tell them not to love. Their romance kept me engaged in this kind of aching queer tension that builds slowly in small encounters and impossible circumstances. Their sexual encounters didnt feel overly polished - it was full of awkwardness and intensity - the way first queer experiences often are. This story had a lot of themes that feel entangled in my own experiences and for a church book club read, I was not ready 😂 But I appreciated that Bend is a deeply empathetic novel of community and interconnectedness that understands the toll of growing up queer in a world that refuses to make space for you. It's a story of longing and loyalty and a quiet rebellion of loving anyway.

[Leah]

DNF @ ~10%

Find the full review on my blog.

Date started: July 16, 2017
Date stopped: July 16, 2017

[Siobhan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Bend is a novel about a family in small town Minnesota whose relationships and beliefs are tested as they face the truth of each other and a big event threatens to rip them apart. The book is narrated by Lorraine, who dreams of escaping her small hometown of Bend to go to college and become a vet, but faces prejudice from her family and religious hometown due to her attraction to girls. Though the novel starts off seeming like a ‘girl escapes conservative small town for a bright future and romance after battling adversity’ type narrative, it becomes something different, a story also focused on Lorraine’s twin sister Becky’s troubles and their mother’s secrets from the past.

The novel is slow to start off with and seems predictable, but becomes more engaging as the complexities of the Tyler family come to the forefront. Lorraine’s love of animals and desperate attempts to help her family make her an interesting and rounded narrator. Her battles with her mother over her sexuality and her life feel honest and form a barrier that must be overcome as their family faces up to some difficult problems. The book’s style is simple and I expect that its depiction of small town American life is believable to those who’ve grown up there, though as a British reader it felt slightly alien at times. Hedin tackles issues of religion, sexuality, and religion within a small community well, highlighting issues without giving absolute judgement, though it needed to look into some elements further.

Bend clearly highlights important aspects of small town America whilst creating an interesting narrative. Those looking for a lighter novel with a burgeoning romance (as I was expecting) will be disappointed, as the romance part is weird and not particularly uplifting, and some of the issues needed more depth and nuance. The style and plot twists weren't hugely engaging to me, though I think others may enjoy it more.

[Regencyfan93 · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first, I thought this would be a romance. Next it seemed like a mystery. At the end, it seemed like a slice of life. There were some regional work usages, which added to the feeling of place.

Mother has a new purpose in life. Lorraine has and will overcome obstacles. While people are related by blood or marriage, they also make a family of choice. They want to be together.

Religion becomes a mental health issue. I have seen that with someone in my sister's church, so the situation is believable to me.

Becky isn't a very likable character and I think Kenny still has to redeem himself.

I am impressed by this first novel and hope to read more by Nancy Hedin.

[S O · Rating 4 out of 5]

The overview of the book hints at a "relationship" story. The plot turns out to be much more complex and interesting. The author's skill at developing fallible, believable, and lovable characters made this a very compelling read. I think this book should be found in the murder mystery section as well as lesbian love.

[Janine · Rating 5 out of 5]

We read this book in our book club and then had the author visit. What an experience. Yes, this book is about coming out, prejudice, homophobia, mental illness, religion and all mentioned in previous reviews. But first and foremost, for me, it was about family and relationships. It was about the secrets we keep and the love that is sometimes obscured by them. I feel, as others did, that Nancy dealt with all these issues with respect, humor and thoughtfulness. Her work with the mentality ill informs some of her rationale for the way issues are dealt with. To me she illustrated how every family has strengths and weaknesses and the impact of it all. A very good read. I would recommend.

[Molly · Rating 1 out of 5]

You GUYS.

This book is some of the worst absolute bs lesbian fiction I have ever read. Typically Im more of a napper than a fighter, but this review is my civic duty to lesbians, to society, and to the world.

The book reads as if Hedin is 16 herself & writing fan fictions about her classmates. The way the characters interact is unbelievably cringe worthy, and the things they spend their time doing is like the writer has never been 17 before especially in the new millennium. They enjoy reading school textbooks..for fun? Badgering their siblings about a college scholarship..? Making bridal magazine scrapbooks..? And don’t even get me started on the concept of 17 year olds calling their mother “Momma”. This whole book is written in old fashion Little House on the Prairie southern slang, even though its been crammed down our throats they are in Minnesota. Why do they have southern accents in Minnesota?! Why do they live in Minnesota but act like they are living in a mormon commune?! Its ridiculous. So ridiculous, I was heated enough to dig up a list of real Minnesota slang words. Hey Nancy, you were one google search away from knowing that in Minnesota they use the term “Mum” for slang of the word mother. Its like she didn’t research this at all and thought yeah, southern kentucky accents is what all small town religious folk sound like. Also, all of the characters are deduced to a flat single trait personality or trope. No build up, no dynamics, just so so so bad. At another point I actually dug back through the initial pages of the book to see when this was published and *ahem* its 2017.

Yes, Nancy f*ckin Hedin Wrote this garbage 3 years ago
wants us to believe that 17 years call their mothers “momma” in this day & age and have no idea what cell phones are.

And this my friends is all in the first 50 pages. That is as far as I got before I realized that the hour of my life spent reading was just an hour closer to death & Ill just have to die mad about that. I originally picked this book up because of YOU GOODREADS (turns to the rest of all of the bs reviewers on here & pokes finger angrily) for all of the good reviews that I will just never understand convincing me to waste my money and my time. Although tonight when I did relogin to my Goodreads account after 6 years of silence, hoping to save another innocent lesbian who just wanted a nice goddamn story for once, what i accidentally found first was how this book ended. My parting advice- please good readple, do some digging on the shear ridiculousness of the ending. It is an absolute trainwreck and dare I say, worse than the ending of How I Met Your Mother. Yep, I said it. And Ill leave it at that

[Carol E. · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story takes place in a small farming community, Bend, in central Minnesota (a fictional town). The main character is a teenage lesbian who feels unwelcomed and eager to leave Bend as soon as possible. Her goal is to go to college, become a veterinarian, and perplexingly, to return to Bend to practice her medicine there. She is unhappy in Bend and feels ostracized for being a lesbian, though she is not openly gay. So why she wants to return to Bend is a mystery to me.

She has a twin sister who is "perfect." The twins are competing for a large college scholarship funded by a local very conservatively religious man. That does not go well, nor do many other plot twists in the story. In the beginning the characters seem far too stereotypical.. the mother is a nag and very bitter. The father is a quiet, patient farmer. The twins are constantly bickering and appear to hate each other.

Despite these problems, the story kept me interested, and I read the book in a day. Some of the characters actually grow and evolve out of their stereotypes. But for more disappointment, some of the plot twists and turns seem a bit far fetched, as if the author had a world of social issues that had to be crammed into one book. And the main character recovers very quickly from a traumatic event and boom! she moves on.

I feel that the story should have been more focused, and the other myriad social issues the author wanted to touch on put on hold to put into a second book. Despite my seemingly negative review, I liked the writing style overall and feel that the author has some talent to hone in future writing endeavors.

[Ellen Hawley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bend zips along nicely and kept me turning pages in the bathtub long after the water had gone cold. It’s the story of Lorraine, the only queer teenager—and possibly the only queer human being—in the small town of Bend, Minnesota. And if that isn’t enough trouble to throw at a protagonist, her family belongs to a church that considers homosexuality a sin.

Oh, and her twin sister’s perfect.

So it’s no surprise that she wants out. She wants college, a chance to become a vet, and a bit of space where she can breathe, but life and plot keep her on the farm until she can come to terms with town, family, and self.

I hesitate to say this, because the publishing world walls books about teenagers off into the young-adult category and it’s hard for them to break out, but this really would be a good book for teenagers. It deals with many of the issues kids face—sexuality, family, mental health, figuring out who you are, and above all the surprise of finding tones of gray between the black and white that so many of us reduce the world to at that age.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a masterfully written piece that delves into the complexities of young GLBT relationships. The story is set in rural Northern MN in a small farming community. The female protagonist must overcome many barriers and hardships to fully come into her own. The plot twists are interesting and keep the reader engaged. I was impressed by Hedin's strong character development and imagery. I highly recommend this book, and feel that Hedin's contribution to GLBT, young adult fiction is important and essential.

[Nell Morningstar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Hedin creates a main character who is smart, funny, compassionate, and trying to figure out how to be herself in an environment that makes it challenging. Coming out as a gay teen in rural Minnesota, in the shadow of the "perfect" sister, makes for great drama, but Hedin remembers the humor and blends it all into a suspenseful, twisty book with a little bit of everything for everyone.

[Yasmine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this read about a 17 year old girl in Bend, MN. It’s about being gay in a rural, farm community. Written with honesty and sarcasm. Nancy Hedin nails the voice of a 17 year old girl wrestling with identity and family ties. This local author lives in St. Paul, MN with her wife and daughters, and has been a pastor, bartender, stand up comic, and currently works as a crisis social worker.

[Jennifer Stephens · Rating 5 out of 5]

My first 5 star rating! Such a tender story about adolescence, family, the sacrifices we make and the isolation of feeling like an outsider.
Secrets plague this rural Minnesota town of Bend...religion shames it.
So real...could be any family really. Closed doors...old lies.
Nancy Hedin is a natural wordsmith with clever phrasing and descriptions you won't soon forget.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A complex look into small town life, religion, mental illness, past secrets, and and their consequences on family dynamics told by a young woman struggling with her own identity as a lesbian. The book was much better than I thought it would be from reviewing the book cover and book description. It was an interesting read.

[Kelley Larson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. However, it had the potential to be more. I wanted to know more about the homophobia the girls experienced. I wanted the author to flesh out the mental illness more. I wanted to see the family dynamics come alive more. With that said, the author made this a great quick read. After finishing this, I am still hungry for more. What was written is good, but unsatisfying.

[Paula Natvig · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is great. It contains some very heavy topics, but handles them with love and humor. The author is skillful at developing the characters and making you love them and sometimes hate them at the same time. I found it to be a very quick read that kept me engaged. I was sad when it ended.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great coming of age book in small town U.S.A. The author used humor as a common thread through the challenging family dynamics and discourse that reveal themselves throughout the book. An enjoyable read and a MUST read for all!

[jaynie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was slow going to get me interested, and then all of a sudden the last 1/2 of the book SO much happened that I wasn’t expecting. I immediately went for the sequel stray and got through that book much quicker and felt more connected with the characters.

[Katerina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. Can't wait for a sequel

[Sal Noel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read in one sitting. For me it didn’t go deep enough.
Major issues/ incidents rushed over leaving distinct lack of emotion. Characters 2 dimensional.
This happened- then this- but little response.

[Clara Stahlmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was such a beautiful window into the tough and symbolic lives of a religious family in an isolated farming community who are forced to reckon with both mental illness and their acceptance (or lack thereof) of a queer daughter.

I particularly loved the dad’s penchant for doling out advice in the form of animal facts, and the names of the family dogs (Pants and Sniff).

It had darkness, but it was hopeful, and I think showed how life goes on despite hardship. And how hardship and tragedy can actually strengthen a family and a community.

Thank you for writing a wonderful book, and I look forward to reading more from this author in the future.

[Mali · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn't sure I was going to like it at first, but it got better as it went on. I almost quit when Lorraine writes about the "first time" she watched people have sex, as though there are going to be future times as well. It was also a completely unnecessary scene; even if the first-person narrator doesn't witness the sex, it becomes pretty obvious what happened when the young woman in question gets pregnant. But after that scene is out of the way and (spoiler that's not a real spoiler) both Lorraine and her sister are out of the running for the scholarship (not even sure why the promo focuses so much on the scholarship -- it's resolved early on), the real story picks up, and I found myself much more interested. The characters become richer and more complex. Lorraine begins an imperfect romance. The family frays around the edges, and then is torn apart, but stays together anyway. I like Hedin's description of grief as being a journey for which you need the right shoes (and flatly disagree with the reviewer who says she glosses over grief. Enjoyed the book, and will read more from Hedin.

[Tara Starr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lorraine is a teenage lesbian from a small religious town. She works hard but is met with prejudice because of who she is and who she lusts after. With a twin sister who is perfect, a mother who writes of everyone else’s sins and a father who speaks in animal to relate with his daughter. When the preachers daughter,Charity, moves into town she is a breath of fresh air for Lorraine since she is living with the same “disease”. However when things unravel with Charity they also unravel in the rest of her life. Bend was an easy read.

[Jamie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is clear that the author put a lot of time into this book and loved the characters. I read with anticipation for each plot twist to be revealed. The reader should be aware of some violence in this book and the only critique I will give is that the violence felt out of place (too extreme) to be a good fit for the rest of the novel. I look forward to reading more of Nancy's work.

[Victoria · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this. Queer girl dealing with her homophobic town and religious mother; I was ready for this book to be about two girls falling in love and escaping but it became so much more than that. It was about family and forgiveness and was a lovely, although sad at times, story to read.