When Isobel and Alex came home from school to find their abusive father had brutally murdered their mother, their world was thrown into chaos. Plunged into a care system that neglected them, Isobel and Alex were expected to come to nothing, and had only each other to rely on.
Isobel and Alex’s mother used to do everything with them. A full-time teacher, she dedicated herself to her children, partly in order to give them every possible opportunity in life, and partly to keep them out of the way of their increasingly eccentric, erratic and unpleasant father.
Their father, a violent and frightening man, spent most of his time locked in his bedroom, a room the rest of the family never ventured into. He became increasingly bitter and angry at the outside world in general, and at his wife and children in particular. The local community feared his outbursts as much as Isobel and Alex did, but the neighbours saw far less of him as he became increasingly housebound. No one came to the Kerr’s house to visit.
When Isobel was 15 and Alex 13, they came home from school to find police everywhere. Their father had stabbed their mother between fifty and sixty times with a sharpened chisel. As far as anyone could tell the attack was unprovoked and of incredible savagery, but the children were given the minimum amount of information. No one wanted to upset them unnecessarily.
Their mother had been an only child and they had never been in contact with their father's family. There was no one else for them to turn to - except each other.
This is an inspiring story of a brother and sister who only had each other, and a powerful testament to what can be achieved through courage and love.
Two young children put into the care system as there mother was killed by there father they didn't fall apart but they were let down but because there mother had strived to get them a good education they made sure they carried on to university in there mams memory .5 STARS .
I loved this book! BUT it wasn’t what I expected. I thought it was going to focus more on the dad and his influence. That being said this was very gripping.
This is a biography about a sister and brother, who go through a life of uncertainty and violence. I like her last paragraph “It is much easier for the world to forget about inconvenient children like Alex and me. But if children in care received better treatment, all sorts of other problems once they are in the outside world might be avoided. “
A non-fiction heart-wrenching story of how two young children managed to survive the UK Legal system after their father murdered their mother- causing them to live as a Department of Human Services "number".
I found this to be a shocking story about how the government bureaucracy treats our "system children", the gaps in foster care and the potential crisis towards support (mental, emotional, financial) for children in the system.
As a potential foster parent (rules are very different here in Australia than the UK), my heart ached for the young Isobel and Alex, especially about with the huge challenges that consistently appeared with every corner they turned. Any other person who would have experienced what they did, would surely have led to a breakdown or being "beaten" but it was inspirational to read about Isobel and Alex's ultimate triumph over everything that was sent their way- including the injustice of the prison time of their father, with their dogged determination.
I just hope with books like this, it will shed some light on what actually happens to children in the department of human services. Children are only victim of the circumstances that occurred and we (adults) should be doing all we can to protect, nurture and support them.
In the face of adversity, the Kerr children managed to beat the expectations of the human services system and if I ever get to meet either of them, it would be an honour to shake their hand.
How on earth do you review a book like this?! That said, I’ll give it a go. The story itself is very shocking; two young children who come home from school to find that their father has murdered their mother. It was fascinating, yet truly sad. I was pleased to see the chapters alternate in perspective from Isobel to her brother Alex. The book did drag on a little though, and I felt it could have been shorter in places. Also, when the book reaches its conclusion, Alex and Isobel are still only just into university. I would be interested in reading more on their life once they’ve perhaps reached their 30s and we are able to see how they fare going on to have their own partners and / or families.
I liked this book. Such a sad story although it really does show how resilient children are when adults and society are failing them. These two young people suffered huge trauma in their lives at the hand of their father.
Amazing story about 2 siblings experience of losing their mum in the most horrendous way, massive respect to the siblings for all they have achieved, hope there is a follow up book.
Was a very very heavy retelling of two siblings horrible childhood. Was quite hard to read at some points. Wasn’t a fan what so ever of the story telling hence the low rating. Felt like I was forcing myself to read it. Wish we heard a bit more from the Dad’s perspective. Solid 2.5/5
Horrific story which was interesting to read about. Shame to her what these guys went through at the hands of bad parents and a care system that failed them
These siblings went through a horrific tragedy and I am sure writing this book was part of their healing process, but in all honesty, they should have hired a ghost writer or at least an editor to help remove their personal opinions and make the book less entitled and more an outrage of a very flawed foster care/legal system. This book has potential, but I just think it needs an unbiased voice.
There was way too much assuming because the children simply don’t know their past. They assume the mom didn't buy a house closer to school because she didn't want to see school children on her off time.
They assume no one came to her parents wedding because they all didn't get along.
It's very possible the house was bought an hour from work as it was more affordable. And many abusers separate the victim from their family. It's highly likely moms parents weren't invited to the wedding.
We also have no proof the grandma died from the hereditary disease, but there we go again.
The truth is the writer doesn't have the answers and that's okay. The reader doesn't need untrue filler. We are okay with not having all the answers.
What facts we do have are:
1. Dad walked around the house naked in front of strangers 2. Dad would go into people's yards in the middle of the night and replant neighbors bushes. 3. Dad didn't work and locked himself in his bedroom all day. 4. Dad drove around with a loudspeaker shouting his political views. 5. Dad threatened to hang himself. 6. Dad threatened to set the house on fire.
These are all signs of a very disturbed man that quite possibly needed treatment for a mental disorder. Instead of addressing this, the author has chosen to write about her negative feelings towards this mean man. There's a lot of blame and assumption behind these words but no one's delving into the how's, what's and why's this happened.
We also need to address the fact that their mother kept this man in the same house as the children and provided him a car, allowance and booze. She enabled a very dangerous man.
Now let’s go into things adults did to help these kids.
The neighbors immediately took the children in after their mother was murdered. They clearly did not have enough room in their home as they had to send their own child on a sleepover so that Isobel could use her bedroom. Yet, when a foster home was eventually found for them, the children we upset their neighbors would not keep them full time. That’s a lot to ask.
The Foster Parents seemed pretty decent. They did drive them every day to a school very far away from their home to not interrupt their schedule. They even gave them pocket money to use to take the bus to visit their friends etc but that wasn’t enough. The children felt they should have been driven to school, driven to visit their friends and driven to all of their after school activities. That’s a crazy expectation to have. I had two parents and couldn’t even get a ride to school.
Any time Cathy and Pete (foster parents) did anything nice, the kids seemed to add a suspicion of an ulterior motive. They took them to Cuba for vacation. The kids assumed it was because they wanted to go and they had no choice but to bring the kids. They linked the kid with their mothers’ cousins (more than their birth parents every did) but because the cousins liked to drink wine with them, they stated that was the only reason they kept in touch with them. They took the kids to their old home when they weren't supposed to so the kids could get some belongings and it was written they only did that because they were curious to see the crime scene. Eventually the foster home didn’t work out because the kids were so ungrateful. They were moved to a group home where they further bashed the workers.
The entire book was about bashing any adult the children even came into contact with. I understand they underwent a trauma, but I would have liked to read more about how they overcame it rather than the world was against them and all they had was each other. They only had each other because they isolated themselves from the rest of the world.
I have mixed feelings about this book. I was interested in the case and tried to find details on line, but could find nothing about it every happening. It does say at the end that some names have been changed, but I would suggest that a LOT of names and details have been changed, including the names of the two people who wrote the book, their parents, foster parents and social workers! I eventually found the court details online and many things in the book were completely untrue. The fact that their father had not worked for many years, but locked himself in his room drinking whisky. He actually worked as a storeman up to 12 weeks before the murder took place, when he was made redundant. I also did not like their harsh criticism of their foster parents, who took on two ungrateful teenagers. So they enjoyed a glass of wine, they were overweight? So what! The authors actually came across as two rather unpleasant children, even before the murder took place. Ok, they has a tough childhood, but no worse than many, myself included. The whole book just left a bad taste in my mouth.
This narrative tells us that even as recently as 2008, parents need to put in writing their wishes in case children are orphaned, & the decisions communicated to all concerned - maybe tied to birth registration & reviewable 5 yearly. All social services need to be better inter-linked and red tape made more elastic. ALSO, we all need a paradigm shift in our thinking about children 'in care' - so as we hold the highest expectations for educational outcomes - and, we must keep trauma affected families together at all costs, with forward planning for their lives beyond 18 years. We need to see them as individuals, with extensive notes on their family dynamics and values, so as we get past 'one size fits all'!! Maybe, this book should be compulsory reading for all social work students!!
I always find it really difficult to know how to rate these type of books. How do you review or rate a person's personal experience? This book is the tragic story of Isobel and Alex who came home from school one day to find their father had brutally murdered their mother in their family home. We will never know why their mum came home early from work that day, or what made their dad snap and do what he did to her. I'm just pleased that Isobel and Alex did their mum proud by sticking with their education and by sticking together and looking out for each other. I hope when their Dad is released from prison (he's probably already out) that he leaves them well alone and doesn't try to find them. They're much better off without him in their lives.
I am a foster parent in the U.S. I ended up adopting 2 of my kids so far and conti ue to foster. I think our system may be slightly better, but I liked some of theirs views as in care and how they are treated. It made me think of how I have treated or responded to my kiddos, and it may seem negative when that was not the intent. Thank you for your work and how you have turned around and are helping others. We/they need people in their corner.
Isobel and her brother have an horrendous time, they are met stressing I'm sure that they will have Lamotrogine Thought your new Lamotrogine Thought to me this week allowance of them at Milne d and was quite as she's I will do o storm i boots joined the same pastoral
A sad and thought of my true journey of how a terrible tragic trauma in their young lives can be not only survived but ride to meet lives challenges. A totally thought provoking and inspirational book, written in a positive and sincere way.
An enlightening look at those children who through no fault of their own enter into the foster home and social services system. The loneliness, inability to fit in and the lack of any support once they reach emancipation (18 yo). A troubling view of a shortcoming within society.
What a horrible father and what a beautiful mother. Well done to both Isobel and Alex for making something of their lives no doubt their mother would be very proud