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Finding A Tomorrow
Rami doesn't see himself as a survivor. He doesn't want to be one, either. At his lowest point, with everything he cared for lost forever, he knows there's only one way out. Rami is one of life's planners and he plans his death to the last small detail. It's no cry for help; he means to die. Waking up on a hospital ward, Rami is devastated that he failed. It's impossible that he isn't dead, but the ache in his chest from being resuscitated and the bleeps of the monitors tracking his heartbeat say otherwise. And there's the quiet friendly stranger at his bedside who, for some reason, isn't prepared to let Rami be alone. Hospitals, drugs and therapy lead Rami slowly towards a path where he begins to see a glimmer of a future, despite the darkness in the corners of his mind and the shadows that haunt him. Despite everything life might throw at him, Rami begins to believe that he has a future, and can find his tomorrow.
218 pages, Paperback
Published December 29, 2016
9 people are currently reading
96 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
February 19, 2017
Rami is still reeling after the end of a disastrous and abusive marriage. He has no family left, the few friends he had before he married abandoned him, he has no job; in short, he has nothing to live for. So, after much planning, he rents a room in a lousy neighborhood, swallows pill after pill (washing them down with whiskey) and lays down preparing to die.
He wakes up in a hospital, furious that his suicide attempt didn't work. Some do-gooder realized what was happening and called for an ambulance.
Then there's Ryan, the man who's been sitting at his bedside at the hospital since Rami woke up. Who is he? Why is he there? All Rami knows is that he doesn't want him to leave.
And so starts Finding a Tomorrow, Kathleen Kerridge's amazing story of resilience and hope, as Rami and Ryan get closer, and Rami tries to reconnect with the person he used to be before he met his abuser.
Yes, there is angst galore in this book, but there are also moments of happiness and joy, as Rami begins to realize what a monumental mistake he almost made by attempting suicide, as he and Ryan begin to build a life together.
This is not the kind of book that can be read a little at a time. Be sure to give yourself enough time to read it all the way through without interruptions, because you're not going to want to put it down!
He wakes up in a hospital, furious that his suicide attempt didn't work. Some do-gooder realized what was happening and called for an ambulance.
Then there's Ryan, the man who's been sitting at his bedside at the hospital since Rami woke up. Who is he? Why is he there? All Rami knows is that he doesn't want him to leave.
And so starts Finding a Tomorrow, Kathleen Kerridge's amazing story of resilience and hope, as Rami and Ryan get closer, and Rami tries to reconnect with the person he used to be before he met his abuser.
Yes, there is angst galore in this book, but there are also moments of happiness and joy, as Rami begins to realize what a monumental mistake he almost made by attempting suicide, as he and Ryan begin to build a life together.
This is not the kind of book that can be read a little at a time. Be sure to give yourself enough time to read it all the way through without interruptions, because you're not going to want to put it down!
February 3, 2018
Truly beautiful and sensitive! A lesson on unconditional and true love. And with a very important message on how poorly the justice system treats or is even prepared to tend to cases of men who suffer domestic violence. Paraphrasing the main character, gender equality still has a long way to go. Men are totally neglected by the law in this case, which is absurd and cruel.
September 3, 2018
**3.5 stars**
February 4, 2017
Here's the short:
In my reading journeys, I seek out the initial themes this story presents: domestic violence--physical and emotional, self-esteem, suicidal feelings, and the corresponding way back to hope, trust, and happiness. This story carried these themes beautifully, if a bit dramatically with the murder of the mc's mom, and suicide of the mc's husband, all of which happens off screen, before the story begins. The fallout from all that happens before the story starts is entirely enough to deal with for a novel-length tale.
Aggravatingly, it descended into "this is the story that never ends": convoluted melodrama with MORE huge issues and MORE themes being introduced and summarily dismissed for, what felt like, cheap emotional manipulation. Thereby, diluting the good bones from the beginning. And, oh, the painful summary and explaining. *head to desk*
The long:
So, it was readable, easily relatable, with a solid page-turning effect, and an occasional turn of phrase that captured an emotion or an experience brilliantly. All that, despite my occasional thoughts of, There is summary slop coming at me, and There's an awful lot of that annoying 'explaining things to reader' effect going on....
Still....
There I was, saying, "Jolly good story, excellent, real portrayal of the struggle to good mental health. Bit annoyed that Rami immediately relied on someone else for self-worth, and never truly on himself, his own company, but okay, that can work, that can be a blessing. I feel the ending coming; it's gonna be there, when I step on around this corner, the final conflict being who discovered Rami that monumental day. Ohhhh!"
As I was saying that, I checked the page count.
"What the hell is this?! There's so much left to this novel. Ooookay." *heaves sigh at abysmal pacing; goes back in*
After wandering around in conflict-light content-land for a while, the last third completely lost its grip on storytelling success.
First, trouble with the bigoted mom of his lover is introduced.
And dumped, dismissed!
Then, ENORMOUS (new) health issue are introduced. For BOTH mcs. Are you f-in kidding me? What even IS this story anymore?
Meanwhile the summarizing gets stronger, less on-page happening.
Aggravating to the nth.
Still, if it wrapped up at about half way, I'd say four stars!
In my reading journeys, I seek out the initial themes this story presents: domestic violence--physical and emotional, self-esteem, suicidal feelings, and the corresponding way back to hope, trust, and happiness. This story carried these themes beautifully, if a bit dramatically with the murder of the mc's mom, and suicide of the mc's husband, all of which happens off screen, before the story begins. The fallout from all that happens before the story starts is entirely enough to deal with for a novel-length tale.
Aggravatingly, it descended into "this is the story that never ends": convoluted melodrama with MORE huge issues and MORE themes being introduced and summarily dismissed for, what felt like, cheap emotional manipulation. Thereby, diluting the good bones from the beginning. And, oh, the painful summary and explaining. *head to desk*
The long:
So, it was readable, easily relatable, with a solid page-turning effect, and an occasional turn of phrase that captured an emotion or an experience brilliantly. All that, despite my occasional thoughts of, There is summary slop coming at me, and There's an awful lot of that annoying 'explaining things to reader' effect going on....
Still....
There I was, saying, "Jolly good story, excellent, real portrayal of the struggle to good mental health. Bit annoyed that Rami immediately relied on someone else for self-worth, and never truly on himself, his own company, but okay, that can work, that can be a blessing. I feel the ending coming; it's gonna be there, when I step on around this corner, the final conflict being who discovered Rami that monumental day. Ohhhh!"
As I was saying that, I checked the page count.
"What the hell is this?! There's so much left to this novel. Ooookay." *heaves sigh at abysmal pacing; goes back in*
After wandering around in conflict-light content-land for a while, the last third completely lost its grip on storytelling success.
First, trouble with the bigoted mom of his lover is introduced.
And dumped, dismissed!
Then, ENORMOUS (new) health issue are introduced. For BOTH mcs. Are you f-in kidding me? What even IS this story anymore?
Meanwhile the summarizing gets stronger, less on-page happening.
Aggravating to the nth.
Still, if it wrapped up at about half way, I'd say four stars!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 3, 2017
(Originally reviewed for Love Bytes Review.)
What a phenomenal book.
I had absolutely no idea what this book was about going into it. I love the author’s writing and have very much enjoyed her fantasy series. She had warned that this one was much different, but I chose not to read the blurb before I read the story, as always, because I hate spoilers.
I thoroughly enjoyed the read. I’m going to start by saying this was a very dark book. When we first meet Rami, he has left his home meticulously clean so that no one will have to deal with a mess when he is gone. He has rented a small run down room in a bad part of town where he proceeds to overdose on over-the-counter drugs and whiskey. He wants to end it all. Something horrific has happened and he feels he would be better off dead.
But he wakes up in the hospital. It was all for nothing. Some obtrusive bastard called the police and ambulance and saved his life. Interfering jerk. Then there is this man who keeps hanging around. His name is Ryan and he was at the hospital seeing someone who died. But why would he want to spend so much time visiting Rami? When Rami is transferred to a mental health facility because of the suicide attempt and his depression, Ryan still comes every couple days and visits him. Who is this guy? Rami doesn’t dare to ask and risk him not coming any longer.
I loved this story. As I said above, it is quite dark. Along the way through the story there is despair, attempted suicide, mental illness, some details of the horrific event I mentioned above…which included some severe man on man domestic abuse, and there is a major health crisis.
I very highly recommend this one. I enjoyed the despair and the hope. No further spoilers. I recommend you pick it up. Be prepared, it isn’t all sweetness and light…but there just might be a light in the darkness…
What a phenomenal book.
I had absolutely no idea what this book was about going into it. I love the author’s writing and have very much enjoyed her fantasy series. She had warned that this one was much different, but I chose not to read the blurb before I read the story, as always, because I hate spoilers.
I thoroughly enjoyed the read. I’m going to start by saying this was a very dark book. When we first meet Rami, he has left his home meticulously clean so that no one will have to deal with a mess when he is gone. He has rented a small run down room in a bad part of town where he proceeds to overdose on over-the-counter drugs and whiskey. He wants to end it all. Something horrific has happened and he feels he would be better off dead.
But he wakes up in the hospital. It was all for nothing. Some obtrusive bastard called the police and ambulance and saved his life. Interfering jerk. Then there is this man who keeps hanging around. His name is Ryan and he was at the hospital seeing someone who died. But why would he want to spend so much time visiting Rami? When Rami is transferred to a mental health facility because of the suicide attempt and his depression, Ryan still comes every couple days and visits him. Who is this guy? Rami doesn’t dare to ask and risk him not coming any longer.
I loved this story. As I said above, it is quite dark. Along the way through the story there is despair, attempted suicide, mental illness, some details of the horrific event I mentioned above…which included some severe man on man domestic abuse, and there is a major health crisis.
I very highly recommend this one. I enjoyed the despair and the hope. No further spoilers. I recommend you pick it up. Be prepared, it isn’t all sweetness and light…but there just might be a light in the darkness…
January 6, 2017
Speechless in a good way
Once again, Ms. Kerridge has written a haunting and beautiful story. So much of this novel touched me on a personal level and I commend the author for the raw emotion she brought out of the characters in the story line. Do yourself a favor and follow this author and her other works, you will NOT disappointed.
Once again, Ms. Kerridge has written a haunting and beautiful story. So much of this novel touched me on a personal level and I commend the author for the raw emotion she brought out of the characters in the story line. Do yourself a favor and follow this author and her other works, you will NOT disappointed.
December 2, 2018
God, this was tedious...
I don't even knowy why I hated the book so much but I found it hard to read even a one full page without wanting to skip large portions of the text or to roll my eyes. It seemed like the book had no plot, the characters seemed one-dimentional and the lack of chemistry between them was almost painful. I did not understand why they even started their relationship in the first place. There was nothing - I find more emotions in a documentary. Half of the internal monologue could be removed, limiting the book to 100 pages, and even then the plot wouldn't constitute a half of its content.
I honestly hate to hate a book. Any book. But this one was such a struggle to finish.
I don't even knowy why I hated the book so much but I found it hard to read even a one full page without wanting to skip large portions of the text or to roll my eyes. It seemed like the book had no plot, the characters seemed one-dimentional and the lack of chemistry between them was almost painful. I did not understand why they even started their relationship in the first place. There was nothing - I find more emotions in a documentary. Half of the internal monologue could be removed, limiting the book to 100 pages, and even then the plot wouldn't constitute a half of its content.
I honestly hate to hate a book. Any book. But this one was such a struggle to finish.
June 7, 2018
I Needed This
Wow! This story was amazing and I NEEDED to read this book. It will pull at your heart and pierce your soul. O am I inspired and deeply moved. I love and understand Rami. He was a character I could personally identify with. I empathize with his struggle. Ryan is also so beautiful and amazing. A love like theirs is life changing. This book is well written. I applaud Kathleen Kerridge on her outstanding work. Well done!! I can't wait to read more of your amazing work.
Wow! This story was amazing and I NEEDED to read this book. It will pull at your heart and pierce your soul. O am I inspired and deeply moved. I love and understand Rami. He was a character I could personally identify with. I empathize with his struggle. Ryan is also so beautiful and amazing. A love like theirs is life changing. This book is well written. I applaud Kathleen Kerridge on her outstanding work. Well done!! I can't wait to read more of your amazing work.
June 3, 2018
Amazing.
This is a story about mental illness and how it affects those around us. It is about love. I can't possibly praise this book enough. It put into words what I never could quite convey about how I feel about me medication. How it is not a crutch or a weakness to rely on it. Sometimes it is the difference between life and death, happiness and despair.
This is a story about mental illness and how it affects those around us. It is about love. I can't possibly praise this book enough. It put into words what I never could quite convey about how I feel about me medication. How it is not a crutch or a weakness to rely on it. Sometimes it is the difference between life and death, happiness and despair.
February 19, 2017
MOST AMAZING STORY I'VE EVER READ
This is the most comprehensive, insightful story I have ever had the pleasure to own. I suffer with debilitating depression every day. This story made me feel like someone has finally seen it for what it is. It also makes me realize the gifts my husband gives to me every day. It helped me see that I need to work harder, to make those around me more at ease. I hope this story shows others that some of us need meds, love, encouragement, understanding and HUGS. I loved and appreciated this story sooo much! Thank You. I HIGHLY, HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS INCREDIBLE BOOK!!!!!
This is the most comprehensive, insightful story I have ever had the pleasure to own. I suffer with debilitating depression every day. This story made me feel like someone has finally seen it for what it is. It also makes me realize the gifts my husband gives to me every day. It helped me see that I need to work harder, to make those around me more at ease. I hope this story shows others that some of us need meds, love, encouragement, understanding and HUGS. I loved and appreciated this story sooo much! Thank You. I HIGHLY, HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS INCREDIBLE BOOK!!!!!
January 4, 2020
Eu classificaria esta leitura tranquilamente como dez estrelas se me fosse possível, é uma história de amor e superação, mas acima de tudo uma história sobre recomeços e fidelidade, a si mesmo e aos que você ama.
January 4, 2017
Simply brilliant. Raw, real but with so much hope. Loved Rami and Ryan so much. A book that deals with the shit life gives us but also shows how to deal. Life goes on....
A truly brilliant read.
A truly brilliant read.
May 15, 2017
A beautiful story of love and life
I love the way that Kathleen fully captures the emotions with her writing. Her characters have that great depth that genuinely brings them to life for the reader. It feels like a piece of someone's life, never just a story. I look forward to reading more of this talented author's work.
I love the way that Kathleen fully captures the emotions with her writing. Her characters have that great depth that genuinely brings them to life for the reader. It feels like a piece of someone's life, never just a story. I look forward to reading more of this talented author's work.
July 6, 2017
Ahhh so, good!
I've loved Kathleen's writing from the start and I wasn't sure what I was expecting from this book. But I was, of course, pleasantly surprised with how it turned out. That things aren't always perfect and sometimes good things do come around that change your life and I kind of needed a read like that.
I've loved Kathleen's writing from the start and I wasn't sure what I was expecting from this book. But I was, of course, pleasantly surprised with how it turned out. That things aren't always perfect and sometimes good things do come around that change your life and I kind of needed a read like that.
June 1, 2018
Difficult to suspend disbelief and care about the MCs
DNF. While the writing is fine, I was increasingly less able to suspend disbelief regarding the plot, and grew increasingly less interested in either of the characters as well
DNF. While the writing is fine, I was increasingly less able to suspend disbelief regarding the plot, and grew increasingly less interested in either of the characters as well
July 29, 2018
This was a wonderfully hopeful story, despite everything. It did have some lengths in the middle, but maybe I just wasn't in the right mood for this book.
Read
February 22, 2017I got my hands on this one because it was available from Amazon's list of free gay-themed ebooks. You know, I live in hope.
This is the story of Rami, a desperately depressed, middle-aged, overweight gay man who has just attempted suicide and been rescued by a secret admirer.
The initial, explosive catalyst for the plot is a strong one. Rami is the victim of sustained and devastating emotional abuse that culminates in physical violence and a murder. He's broken in so many places that he's decided it's time to throw himself out. Unfortunately, this story doesn't explore Rami's recovery in a meaningful or self-empowering way. What it does do is SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS give Rami a perfect savior boyfriend who fixes everything.
I'm not saying this because I think people who are overweight, depressed or middle-aged don't deserve admirers - but this concept underpins the entire story, and it's ridiculous.
Rami's love interest is WAY too good to be true. He's patient, understanding, highly emotionally intelligent, resourceful, thinks Rami is gorgeous, doesn't seem to have any other friends, and has all the time in the world to be a full-time carer for a recovering depressive he's just met. In real life, a person like this would probably have his own mental disorder, because nobody else would drop literally everything in their life to hang out with a mentally ill stranger for weeks or months.
Although the author made an effort to create obstacles for the characters, these were sadly shallow, and rather hackneyed for a story about gay men. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS She gave one of the characters a homophobic mother, and then she gave both of them HIV (but it's not a big deal any more because hey, it's 2017).
I'm disappointed because this story is not really a hopeful one at all. No traumatised, suicidal person can expect things to 'get better' the way they do for Rami in this story. It's fantasy fulfillment - it could almost be seen as a dying dream by Rami, because it describes such a seemingly ideal alternate universe, where his years of spousal abuse can be washed away by a new and better partner.
This is the story of Rami, a desperately depressed, middle-aged, overweight gay man who has just attempted suicide and been rescued by a secret admirer.
The initial, explosive catalyst for the plot is a strong one. Rami is the victim of sustained and devastating emotional abuse that culminates in physical violence and a murder. He's broken in so many places that he's decided it's time to throw himself out. Unfortunately, this story doesn't explore Rami's recovery in a meaningful or self-empowering way. What it does do is SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS give Rami a perfect savior boyfriend who fixes everything.
I'm not saying this because I think people who are overweight, depressed or middle-aged don't deserve admirers - but this concept underpins the entire story, and it's ridiculous.
Rami's love interest is WAY too good to be true. He's patient, understanding, highly emotionally intelligent, resourceful, thinks Rami is gorgeous, doesn't seem to have any other friends, and has all the time in the world to be a full-time carer for a recovering depressive he's just met. In real life, a person like this would probably have his own mental disorder, because nobody else would drop literally everything in their life to hang out with a mentally ill stranger for weeks or months.
Although the author made an effort to create obstacles for the characters, these were sadly shallow, and rather hackneyed for a story about gay men. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS She gave one of the characters a homophobic mother, and then she gave both of them HIV (but it's not a big deal any more because hey, it's 2017).
I'm disappointed because this story is not really a hopeful one at all. No traumatised, suicidal person can expect things to 'get better' the way they do for Rami in this story. It's fantasy fulfillment - it could almost be seen as a dying dream by Rami, because it describes such a seemingly ideal alternate universe, where his years of spousal abuse can be washed away by a new and better partner.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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May 28, 2018💝FREE on Amazon today (5/28/2018)!💝
Blurb:
Rami doesn't see himself as a survivor. He doesn't want to be one, either. At his lowest point, with everything he cared for lost forever, he knows there's only one way out. Rami is one of life's planners and he plans his death to the last small detail. It's no cry for help; he means to die.
Waking up on a hospital ward, Rami is devastated that he failed. It's impossible that he isn't dead, but the ache in his chest from being resuscitated and the bleeps of the monitors tracking his heartbeat say otherwise. And there's the quiet friendly stranger at his bedside who, for some reason, isn't prepared to let Rami be alone.
Hospitals, drugs and therapy lead Rami slowly towards a path where he begins to see a glimmer of a future, despite the darkness in the corners of his mind and the shadows that haunt him. Despite everything life might throw at him, Rami begins to believe that he has a future, and can find his tomorrow.
Blurb:
Rami doesn't see himself as a survivor. He doesn't want to be one, either. At his lowest point, with everything he cared for lost forever, he knows there's only one way out. Rami is one of life's planners and he plans his death to the last small detail. It's no cry for help; he means to die.
Waking up on a hospital ward, Rami is devastated that he failed. It's impossible that he isn't dead, but the ache in his chest from being resuscitated and the bleeps of the monitors tracking his heartbeat say otherwise. And there's the quiet friendly stranger at his bedside who, for some reason, isn't prepared to let Rami be alone.
Hospitals, drugs and therapy lead Rami slowly towards a path where he begins to see a glimmer of a future, despite the darkness in the corners of his mind and the shadows that haunt him. Despite everything life might throw at him, Rami begins to believe that he has a future, and can find his tomorrow.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews