This Book Is Not for You

by Daniel A. Hoyt

Utilizing an innovative mashup of genres, ranging from pulp fiction, dark comedy, and metafiction, This Book Is Not for You charts the actions of nineteen-year-old Neptune, a misfit and punk haunted by the death of his parents. Having fallen in with an anarchist group determined to blow up a university building, he steals the dynamite instead, igniting an entirely different brand of trouble: the murder of his mentor; a three-way manhunt; and the mystery of the Ghost Machine, a walkman that replays snippets from his own twisted past. Told in a nonstop chain of Chapter Ones, Daniel Hoyt's debut novel explores the clash between chaos and calm, the instinct for self-destruction and the longing for redemption.

Genres: Fiction

288 pages, Hardcover

First published November 7, 2017

Reviews

[Daniel Hoyt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wrote this book, and this is my first-ever Goodreads review, and how the hell do you award SIX STARS on this thing?

[Nadine in California · Rating 5 out of 5]

In second person narration, 19 year old punk skinhead Neptune is your clever, snarky, sweet tour guide to the shit show that is his life so far. He's been dealt a bad hand, but he's the first to tell you that he has a knack for making the bad worse. As he says near the end of the book:

“When in doubt, I had a drink. I was always in doubt.
If I didn’t tell you this earlier, I should have. Maybe this should have come first.”

The first page of this book is a perfect litmus test of whether you'll like it, and if that isn't enough, Neptune gives you a short quiz on page 2 to help you decide. I was all in by then, but this little summary of the book on page three was the cherry on top:

"In all honesty, this is a grungy postmodern magical realist ghost story, with etiquette and grammar tips and all that shit. It's a picaresque. It's kind of a clap-trap noir."

And if you have ever lived in Lawrence Kansas and want a vicarious trip back there, this book is practically a street map to the place.

[Julia Gaughan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this in two sittings and then was happy-sad when it was over. Happy because I needed a breath and sad because there was nothing more to read, no second chapter, so to speak. Wild, tragic, funny, and familiar. Highly recommend.

[Holly Pelesky · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the only book I’ve read where the protagonist is seeking forgiveness rather than permission. Written to an audience of one, you won’t be able to believe anything but that this book was written undoubtedly, explicitly, for you

[Danny Caine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Daniel A. Hoyt’s debut novel is called This Book Is Not For You, but that title might be a lie. If you’re the kind of person who’d like a violent postmodern booze-fueled meta-mystery set in the bars of Lawrence, Kansas: this book is for you. If you’re the kind of person who wants to read a punk take on David Copperfield, or a version of Catcher in the Rye where all the “phonies” are skinheads, this book is for you. If silent ghosts or magic Walkmen that speak memories are your thing, this book is for you. If you pick it up and flip to page 13 or 25 or 237 and smirk, this book is for you. If you like your novels energetic, your characters screwed up, and your love stories desperate, this book is for you. Don’t listen to the title, just turn to chapter one (all the chapters are chapter one) and strap in.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lucky enough to read this before its November debut, I cannot stress enough how good of a book it is. Don't let the heavy genre terms and obscurity deter you; at its heart, This Book Is Not for You is a coming-of-age story, a love story, and so much more. Hoyt will have you on the precipice of tears when he makes you burst out laughing. This book IS for you.

[Anette]

I see you, title referencing House of Leaves. I will read you just for that.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Neptune makes a lot of mistakes. Neptune even chose the name “Neptune” for himself, so you know it is going to be a wild ride. He freely admits that his stupid decisions got him involved with an anti-racist skin-head group that plotted to blow something up. Neptune steals the dynamite, making him the gang’s “most wanted”. He then stops in to visit his ex-english teacher, his mentor, to help her out. She is bat shit crazy, but he still answers her calls. They have a weird relationship. From there he goes to a bar and hooks up with a girl. When he wakes up the next day he finds his mentor dead and himself a wanted man.

This story isn’t written in a conventional way. The character is actually telling you the story, and he doesn’t let you forget that you are reading this. Neptune is a CATCHER IN THE RYE sort of character and except that he is in a more contemporary setting and I found him much more relatable.

“There’s only one chance to make the first miserable, lasting impression they say, but that’s bullshit. I’m newly unimpressed with people all the time.”

“She told me some stuff, the kind of stuff that cements together a life. She used to own two cats. She was in AA for a while, but now she wasn’t. She was getting a bachelor’s degree in physics.
She began to explain. She drew with the dew from our glasses. She made our glasses smash into each other.
She gave me the weight of the falling object; she gave me the height of the fall.”

Every chapter is Chapter One. I didn’t pick up on it at first, but then I realized I was definitely not on Chapter One and yet that is what the book just told me. I think the point is that this story could start anywhere and still be complete. It isn’t just a story. This is a rage-fueled tale that includes a murder mystery and a romance of sorts.

There is a bit of magical-realism in this story. Don’t read it for that reason alone, though. Read it because you need to meet Neptune. Read it because Neptune is what happens when a character needs to be redeemed and meets his match in the opposite sex. Read it because the story Neptune tells just an interesting story full of highly quotable text. This was a good book. I loved it enough to recommend it highly.

[Eliese · Rating 4 out of 5]

I only read chapter one, but I liked what I read.

[Elliott Frank · Rating 5 out of 5]

A manic little experimental novel, that was a joy to read.

[Randi · Rating 3 out of 5]

A uniquely told story with a lot of really different stylistic choices, which really paid off for the book. It wasn't amazing, but it was worth picking up.

[bels · Rating 4 out of 5]

You’ve wasted at least, what? Two hours reading this shit? Maybe just thirty minutes if you skimmed. Three hours, maybe more, if you had to stop and Google Ghost Machine and Ad Astra Per Aspera and Neptune.
You’ll never get that time back, and now you’re fucked. You might not have any happy choices anymore.
If you quit reading, you’ll never know what happens, not really, not in the right way, not even if you skip to the end. It won’t make any sense. None of this makes any sense, but still.
For a long time, I didn’t want to finish this either.
For a long time, I couldn’t finish this.
I thought it would never end.

I have to tell you that, I never meant to finish this book. Hell, I didn't even mean to read it. I was sorting my books, tidying my shelf, and then I happened to stumble across this book and next I know, I was deep in chapter one. Can't specify which chapter one since this book is just endless chain of chapter ones.
Sometimes, reading this, I forget how young Neptune was. He sounds older, wiser in a fucked-up way. And this book is very honest about the fuckedup-ness. It's fucked up. But it's honest.
Even if sometimes Neptune were a terrible liar.
This kind of book that will make you go, what the hell, why did I even read this shit, but you can actually do nothing about it, because the narrator has repeatedly told you to give this up.
And you don't.
So, it's nobody's fault but yours.
Finishing this doesn't feel like a goodbye, but it doesn't feel like a cliff-hanger either.
It's just finished.
I wouldn't feel attached. Nor lost.
Sometimes, a story just ends that way.

[Nikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had the privilege of meeting Daniel A. Hoyt and hearing him read from this book at an AWP gathering last year. I was fascinated from the beginning, which led me to track him down and ask for a book signing as I bought one of the last copies. I have to say that six months later this book didn't disappoint.

This book is the story - or not story, as the main character will tell you - of Neptune, a nineteen year old punk who has befriended an older woman and run afoul of a group of anarchists. It is post modern to the core and includes narrative self-awareness through referencing page numbers, a twisting spiral of events which may or may not be true, the supernatural and the utterly physical, and a explosion of violence, alcoholism and a midwestern bar landscape that adds to the swirl. This Book Is Not For You is truly a poetic explosion, and it isn't looking for answers. Nor will it give you any. It reminds me of a more grown up but still utterly ferocious version of Hairstyles of the Damned .

I am torn over this book too, which is not entirely its fault. Neptune's "story" is a testament of how far one can read just because they are interested in the character's voice, but the novel (?) is not going to provide you with any answers. And I'm frustrated by that at times. But more than anything, this book reads like the story your a**hole friend (the one that you still love anyway) would tell you over several beers on a Sunday morning. It reads like a real person would sound. Which is perhaps why I am still slightly scared of it, even after I read it in one sitting.

[Caitlin · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book warns you right from the start that it is profane, incoherent, and violent. It even has a quiz to warn you off, depending on your score.

I took that quiz, because I was intrigued. But somewhere in the endless chapter ones (about a third of the way in) I stopped being intrigued. So I skimmed until the story seemed to be wrapping up, and caught my attention again.

I didn't mind the profanity, or the violence, or the incoherence. Some of the story felt clever, and readable in its own weird, drifting way. But then it didn't.

This book was about half not for me, I suppose. Sometimes you fall out of like with a story.

[Casey Cordts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quite the fast-paced, exciting read. This novel is so many things, many contradictory. Both funny and sad. Violent and caring. Witty and urbane, yet crass and rude. Thoughtful and scatterbrained. I appreciate Hoyts giant F. you right off the bat, really sets the tone for an original novel. Neptune is a great character, really see a lot of modern-day Caufield in his acts. Now, can't wait to go to the Replay and see the ghosts of Hoyt!

[Bob Sommer · Rating 5 out of 5]

'This Book Is Not for You,' by Daniel A. Hoyt, is as brash as 'Fear & Loathing in LV' and as original as 'Bright Lights, Big City’ were when they came out. A punk, hipster, anarchist romp through the underbelly of college town Lawrence, Kansas. Hoyt doesn't just play with the reader-writer relationship; he assaults it. Recommended reading. Lively and engaging, a fresh voice in well-wrought prose.

[Anastasia Alén · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chapter One

Start over. Again. And again. Because beginnings are amazing.

Chapter One

I amn't liking this book. I amn't hating this book. But this was probably funniest and most confusing read of the year.

Chapter One

It wasn't for me. But entertaining and so original.

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

written in first person by neptune, a self-destructive and incredibly self-aware hero...heartbreaking, vulgar, and full of love and questions...great book!

[Carrie Brown-Wolf · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was thought provoking for sure, but just not my cup of tea.

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most unlikely book you'll ever love. Page-turning.

[Katy Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Self-referential tricksy and fresh murder mystery with a flawed but sympathetic anti-hero

I can honestly say I've never read anything quite like this. From the first page, when our narrator talks to us knowingly about the story he's about to tell ("In all honesty this is a postmodern, magical realist ghost story, with etiquette and grammar tips and all that sh*t.").

Our guy, 'Neptune', is clearly a slightly shady character... he's managed to get his hands on some dynamite that other nefarious types want to blow up a building. But when they want it back, he finds himself threatened and a friend/mentor killed in her own home.

The book then takes us on a sprawling route to finding her murderer, as Neptune narrates Chapter 1 after Chapter 1. It was an unusual technique, and I didn't quite understand this as nothing was repeated or times recalled and viewed a second time.

It's a strange tale, told by an idiot, full of sound. Or something. It IS strange, I did nearly lose patience with it, but persevered, as it's not a long book. It did raise a wry smile quite often ("I think this was my first bad narrative decision, but it's hard to keep track."), and it did keep attention with its quirks ("If you put this book down, I die. Pick it up, and I love again. You have some crazy God juice in your veins right now.").

We see Neptune grow through the book, his feelings mature, and as we learn more about him his whole persona becomes clearer.

I didn't quite understand the 'Ghost Machine', but then again the book itself says "None of this makes any sense, but still."

This is a different sort of read, not for everyone but if you like a narrator that talks to you, a short read with a difference, this might be your cup of tea.

With thanks to Edelweiss for the advance reading copy.

[Tom · Rating 4 out of 5]

I should open with the caveat that I know Dan and he has proven to be one of the nicest people in the tiny little lit world, HOWEVER the reason I know Dan in the first place is that I stumbled across one of his stories in the Cincinnati Review and really loved it (so much so that I've used it in my past 3 fiction courses), and so our internet friendship is based FIRST on my respecting him on a writing, and the fact that he once gave me baked goods at AWP is secondary to all of this.

Anyway: I liked this book a lot. At first, I was a little wary because I wasn't sure how much I'd love the metafictional aspects of it, but this novel places story first and never allows the metafictional aspects to overshadow the fact that this is a story about people in the world. I like the risks Hoyt takes in having such a confrontational, generally unlikable narrator, and then challenging the reader to see the humanity in a guy who is otherwise a pretty unpleasant guy. It's a squalid world in this book, sort of noirish, but driven by a fuckup with a good heart. The story itself chugs along at a good clip, and the prose is loaded with smart, funny observations. I plowed through this in 2 days, and was glad I did.

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was not for me...and yet it was. This is not the sort of thing I enjoy usually. It sucked me in, and I kept turning pages. When I couldn't sleep at night, I'd retreat to my basement and read where the lights wouldn't awaken anyone else.

I never read print anymore. I listen to audiobooks while I garden, paint, do dishes, and other feats of adulting. When I try to read print, I find myself distracted by all the things that need doing, and yet I didn't experience that struggle with this book. I wanted to keep reading, but I could also read a chapter, complete a task, return to it. Its short chunks perfectly responded to my struggle to sit and to focus on leisure in the face of constant demand for productivity.

This book was ugly, and raw, and somehow also optimistic. I think the optimism in the face of it all was what kept drawing me back. The continuous thought that it would not turn out okay but the hope that it would created a desire to see it through to the end. I was compelled to turn pages as I have not been in a good long while.

[Brit · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. I was so intrigued from the start when I read this book's summary. I would say this book may not be for everyone, but I had a blast. I will try to recall that I enjoyed the writing in this book. The character is telling you the story, as you read, it's like the character's voice is inside your head speaking to you. I really found that interesting, since I don't recall ever reading a book like this. This book is said to be similar to 'The Catcher in the Rye,' and I have yet to read that book. Funny enough the main character in this book, references Catcher in the Rye and tells you to put the book down and pick that one up. Funny enough, I didn't listen, but I may pick up TCinR at some point. The characters in this book aren't likable, in fact they are pretty screwed up. Also the plot is sort of under-developed. But like I said I still enjoyed reading this book alone because of the unconventional writing and story-telling.

[James Catullo · Rating 3 out of 5]

The narration has an undeniable energy. Neptune's voice is is unique and engaging even at his most purposely grating. The short chapters and punchy writing keep the pages moving quickly and the book is often funny. However, it also features some features that feel like stunts that only occasionally land. Labeling every chapter as a chapter 1 feels like an overly clever idea that would have been better left in an earlier draft. And I personally have a short attention span for things that are so self consciously edgy or in your face. The book also falls into the trap of having an underdeveloped female character who acts as the salvation of the narrator. Still, when the book gets going, it cooks.

[Sean Owen · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are elements of an interesting book here, but they get lost amidst all the attempts at being clever. Every chapter is labeled as chapter 1. The narrator continually engages with the reader and raises questions about his veracity. When the magical realism started showing up the book really lost me. It's kind of like a mashup of Salinger, Palahniuk, Bukowski, and Garcia Marquez. I don't really like any of them, so no this book is not for me.

[Gary Jouver · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting read. It's fast paced and grabs your attention, but I found that I somehow liked and disliked the main character at the same time. I suppose I liked the main character, but disliked the narrator's condescending nature. I also felt the ghost part should have been more important than it was. If you don't care for a character that interjects throughout the story and acts all faux-clever, this book is definitely not for you. If you can get past that, it's an entertaining read.

[Anna Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Strange, very strange book ... the entire book in chapter ones wasn't even that weird. Neptune has had a hard life, basically from birth, when his parents killed themselves when he was only two months old. He tells his story, staggering in circles and from bad to worse with much death and destruction and ghosts.

[Michael Piafsky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really an excellent book. The plot is relatively slender but it's a character-driven book and it works.
The voice reads like Johnny Truant's slightly less reputable brother and it's both funny and poignant. Well worth reading.

[Miranda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read this book and I really you never get past chapter 1. I did enjoy it and it wasn't something I would pick up and read; however, it was good. If you have a chance, pick it up and read while never getting past Chapter 1.