The Porn Myth: Exposing the Reality Behind the Fantasy of Pornography

by Matt Fradd

The Porn Myth is a non- religious response to the commonly held belief that pornography is a harmless or even beneficial pastime. Author Matt Fradd draws on the experience of porn performers and users, and the expertise of neurologists, sociologists, and psychologists to demonstrate that pornography is destructive to individuals, relationships, and society. He provides insightful arguments, supported by the latest scientific research, to discredit the fanciful claims used to defend and promote pornography. This book explains the neurological reasons porn is addictive, helps individuals learn how to be free of porn, and offers real help to the parents and the spouses of porn users. Because recent research on pornography's harmful effects on the brain validates the experiences of countless porn users, there is a growing wave of passionate individuals trying to change the pro-porn cultural norm-by inspiring others to pursue real love and to avoid its hollow counterfeit. Matt Fradd and this book are part of that movement, which is aiding the many men and women who are seeking a love untainted by warped perceptions of intimacy and rejecting the influence of porn in their lives.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Sexuality, Science, Audiobook, Addiction

280 pages, Paperback

First published March 13, 2017

About the author

Matthew Fradd is Australian by birth and Catholic by choice. After experiencing a profound conversion at World Youth Day in Rome in 2000, Matthew committed himself to inviting others to know Jesus Christ and the Church He founded. As a missionary in Canada and Ireland, Matthew proclaimed the Gospel to over ten thousand teens and young adults. Matthew has also served the Church through full-time lay ministry in Australia,Ireland, Canada, and Texas. Matthew has been seen or heard on the BBC, EWTN, The Irish Morning Show, and Catholic Answers Live, where he has shared his personal story of sin, redemption, and healing to people all over the world.

Recently, Matthew, his fearless Texan wife, and their three beautiful children (Liam, Avila, and baby on the way) moved to sunny San Diego where Matthew now works as an Apologist and Speaker with Catholic Answers. Matthew best demonstrates his infectious passion for the faith when he speaks about the many wounds that pornography inflicts, the healing that Christ offers in the Sacraments, and the freedom that the Church proposes in Her teachings on the virtue of chastity.

In recent years, Matthew has confronted our pornographic culture and has launched the website www.theporneffect.com. With patient understanding and yet with firm resolve, Matthew has pointed those who are addicted to or who have been wounded by pornography to the only source of true freedom and lasting healing: Jesus Christ and the Sacraments.

Matthew Fradd has been heard or seen on the BBC, EWTN, The Irish Morning Show, and Catholic Answers Live, and he continues to share his personal story of addiction, redemption, and healing to people all over the world.

Reviews

[Amora · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the author is indeed a committed Catholic, zero religious-driven arguments are presented in the book, making it readable for everyone. Pornography has played a huge role in increasing the acceptance of rape myths, destroying marriages, shrinking gray matter in the brain, increasing sexual deviancy, and taking away the innocence of adolescents. Unfortunately, many have decided to turn a blind eye to this and instead mock those who think we should do something about this epidemic. It’s worth adding that the purpose of this book is not to shame anyone but to educate. Plenty of resources are provided as to how to battle pornography addiction.

The appendix at the end of the book was an excellent addition.

[Steven Hunt · Rating 1 out of 5]

Absolutely terrible book!
I could barely finish this book. It took me weeks to get through it because I found it overly preachy and filled with biased premises. It concerns me that this book has such great reviews because this book is highly biased and doesn't present a complete picture of the "porn myth". I feel that I owe a comprehensive critique for those of you who have read it and seem to like it.
Matt Fradd has done a great disservice in presenting his argument. His argument is premised on the idea that porn is bad. Fair. I agree with this premise in general. However, he presents his argument in a one-sided, narrow, misogynistic, paternalistic and religious manner. The major flaws with this book are as follows:

1. Preachy: The book is highly preachy. Throughout the reading of the entire book, I felt like I was being lectured about being the scum of the universe. This book evoked similar feelings that I got when I read Valerie Solanas "Scum Manifesto". It was nauseating and overly condescending. If the author truly believes that any porn use is an addiction, he doesn't plead his case that he would be an ideal person to turn to, as he consistently preaches and condemns the use of porn.

2. Religious: Matt Fradd affirms at the outset that this book attempts to present a non-religious view of pornography albeit with a disclaimer of the fact he is a religiously motivated individual. He goes off on tangents feeling the need to justify his religious beliefs by saying "Just because my beliefs stem from religion, doesn't mean that they are weak arguments". I agree with this, but this goes without saying. The fact that he felt the need to dedicate a whole section of his books justifying his religious beliefs just gives me the impression that this author is unsure of himself and is insecure about his assertions. It was highly inappropriate and unnecessary. His arguments are also predicated on religious sentiments. He phrases his arguments that "Sex within monogamous, married relationships between a MAN AND A WOMAN is healthy" and "porn poses a danger to marriage". He ultimately ends up alienating those who either do not believe in the institution of marriage, those who have non-traditional relationships and those who are gay or lesbian.

3. Alientating: as with my previous points on the religion peace, it builds on my point of the alienating aspect of the book. If you are any of the following, this book is not for you:
a) Female
b) trans
c) gay
d) atheist
e) A religion other than Christian
d) In an open or non-monogmous relationship
e) Enjoy sex in any other way other than missionary with a woman

This sums up the views of Matt Fradd and how he has managed to alienate a huge portion of society that does not conform to his religious institution's view of a "healthy" relationship.

4. Over-stated research: So Matt does present some valid research articles. However, the majority of his argument is based on his personal opinions and critiques of the research, mixed with his personal ideologies and not the research itself. Matt draws HUGE assumptions based on research that has nothing to do with what he is saying. Any person with some basic training in statistics and research methods can see that his arguments are so flawed. To put it into perspective, Matt takes research that says "Porn can change a person's taste in sex" to mean that "Porn causes men to treat women like sex objects and trash and promotes misogynistic views of sex". That is not what the research is saying, Matt. It may be true, but that is not what the research is saying so you CANNOT say this conclusively. Which leads to another point in his over-statement of the research. He states a lot of his assumptions as conclusive FACTS, which any scholar or researcher knows is credibility suicide and highly inappropriate in any context.

5. Mysognistic & Paternalistic: Matt loves to take the view that women are the victims of porn, albeit he says some research shows that about 24 ish % of women watch porn as well. However, it is clear that his argument is addressed to men. Towards the end of his book, he goes off on another tangent, similar in irrelevancy to his tangent about his religion, on how men need to "Man up" and "Take responsibility for their porn" because he is "destroying his marriage with his wife". I felt physically sick reading this part of the book. He basically is saying that women are at the mercy of the man in the relationship and that "men" should basically know better than women. Highly mysoginistic, highly paternalistic and highly inappropriate. The book was supposed to be on what reserach says about Porn, not what Matt Fradd thinks about porn, parenting, religion and relationships.

6. Insufficient research: My area of research myself is in sex so I was already aware of some of the studies Matt Fradd was talking about. However, Matt has completely omitted plenty of other studies that I was shocked about! studies that both supported and did not support his premises. Whether they support your premises or not, you should always include them in your data to be transparent to the consumers. But what was really obvious from this was that Matt was simply selecting research that fit his personal ideologies. He completely omitted the existing research on how men as well are exploited in pornography. Specifically, heterosexual men who are exploited to do homosexual porn for money, men who have suffered trauma and psychiatric harm as a result of participating in porn and the various other research that shows that not only women but MEN TOO can be exploited in porn. Matt also completely ignored the fact that porn is more than simply heterosexual sex. You have homosexual porn, you have bisexual porn, incest porn, bestiality, tons of other types of porn in which there is research on but he completely ignored it. Why? Because it seems to me he is more concerned about his Christian, religious, heterosexual brethren and could care less about the "outsiders" of society who are equally being harmed by this issue.

7. Unfocused: I have mentioned this in a couple of my other points, but Matt tries to accomplish a ton in about 6 hours of reading. He attempts to:
a) Tell you how porn is bad for "HETEROSEXUALLY MARRIED COUPLES ONLY"
b) Help you recognize you have a problem
c) Help you to overcome the problem and gives you advise on how to approach it in your life
d) Preach to you about how you should be parenting your children
e) Preach to you about how his religious views are valid whether you believe it or not.

This book could be listed as a self-help book, as well as a parenting book as well as a psychology book as well as a sociology book. With the amount of stuff being preached by Matt, you would think this guy has PhDs in 50 different subjects. He can barely stay focused on one topic. The book seems to even follow his thought process directly, he goes from talking about why porn is bad, to his religion, to why porn is bad again, to talk about parenting, back to why porn is bad, then to how to help yourself and then back to why porn is terrible for women. It is just all over the place!

Conclusion
To conclude, this book is terrible. I usually appreciate books like this at the very list for their ability to link you to insightful research studies. However, this book fails even at that as Matt has omitted many pertinent and useful studies in drawing conclusions. Also, the research findings are overshadowed by his gross assumptions and assertions that are not based on any research and are basically overstated value statements. I would not recommend this book to anyone. It was very difficult to read and I feel there are better options out there.

Disclaimer: Seeing that Matt felt the need to disclose his own personal ideologies, I feel the need to disclose mine. My personal views are a conservative libertarian. Libertarian only in the fact that my life work revolves around sex research. My background is in mental health (specifically those with compulsive sexual behaviors in which I did a Masters) and recently have started a Juris Doctorate degree in Law.

[Philip Tadros · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommended. Author Matt Fradd succeeds at the goal he sets out to accomplish: make a non-religious argument that porn is bad. To some that may like a no-brainer, but it's not. There are many cultural myths about sex and porn, and a glimpse at this book's table of contents illustrates that. Even to a convinced reader, exploring the social and cultural myths about porn in light of recent social and scientific research, has only increased my hatred for it.

Some might say the arguments the author makes are familiar. This is true. Even so, it is an excellent resource, because it provides ample reference on, say porn and the brain, emotional health, sexual violence, effect on marriage, parenting, and relationships. (I couldn't find any books out there making this argument based on recent research).

Please read this book, and recommend it to someone you know.

[Bilal Hikari · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is an interesting book, a good start for those who claim that porn has no effect on our life (Brain, relationships, children, couple etc.) full of resources and well documented, the author puts a lot of effort and research in this book and it shows on every page.

Some of my favorite quotes:

"Lewis offered some insights about masturbation. He said that a man’s sexual appetite is meant to lead him out of himself, to lead him into being a self-gift that both completes and corrects his personality—first by sharing whole-life oneness with a lover and second by procreating children. With masturbation, however, the appetite is turned in on itself and “sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides”. What is the harm in this? Lewis says that the problem with masturbation is that a man comes to prefer his fantasy world to reality"

"Whatever we might say about the exact relationship of porn to sexual violence, it should be clear that in order for men to violate a woman’s body, some part of them must first believe she is an object to be used rather than a person to be respected—and porn is quite possibly the most powerful means of delivering that belief."

“Boys’ brains are being digitally rewired in a totally new way, for change, novelty, excitement.”

"It's important to note that just because something is better than something else in one respect, that does not mean it is therefore good. Smoking one carton of cigarettes a day might be better than smoking ten, but smoking one carton should not be labeled “healthy”."

"One of my favorite philosophers is the seventeenth-century French polymath Blaise Pascal. Pascal spoke of the pathology of the compulsive gambler. Is it merely the money he desires? No, because if you simply gave the compulsive gambler what he might win—on the condition that he couldn’t gamble anymore—he wouldn’t take it (or else would lie and use it to gamble anyway). Nor is the compulsive gambler merely addicted to playing the game. Without the prospect of the winnings, the game would cease to be amusing. Rather, what captivates the gambler is the fantasy that winning will make him happy. It is not the big win but the hope for the big win that the gambler craves. But when he wins, his contentment does not last, and he moves on to the next diversion. Married life no more cures a porn addiction than winning the lottery cures a gambling addiction. A person so trained on the pornographic experience isn’t merely after a good orgasm. He is hooked on the anticipation of what comes next, the rush of moving from one object of desire to the next, one body to the next, always looking to trade the one in front of his eyes for what he hopes will be the ultimate sexual experience."

"There have been several studies on the effects of porn on the human perception of sex. One important effect is how extramarital sex is viewed. Pornography displays extramarital sex as exciting, and that display can lead the viewer to accept extramarital sex as normal. That poses a problem for those in committed relationships, especially since adultery is cited as one of the leading causes for divorce in America."

"Marriage will not fix a pornography habit, but a pornography habit will likely destroy a marriage."

"To help our children to grow up in a pornified world, we must take the double-pronged strategy of both protecting their minds and preparing their character...This is why, as parents, we need to do everything in our power to make sure that our homes are not places our kids seek refuge from. If anything, our homes should be places of refuge, but this cannot happen if our kids are growing up in an environment of constant criticism, impatience, self-centeredness, and frustration."

"It has been said—and I agree—that the real problem with pornography isn’t that it shows too much but that it shows too little. Too little of what? Too little of the human person. Porn treats sex one-dimensionally, by reducing people to their sexual organs, and then uses them as a mere means to an end. As a result, it cannot offer the experience of real intimacy that we long for."

"It is my contention that what sets human beings apart from animals is that, while we have survival instincts, we can choose how we behave because of our supremely unique brains and bodies...We stand against pornography in order to stand for the honor of the human person."

"North American women live in psychologically split times. On one hand, they have dared to believe the modern rhetoric that relationships should be founded on mutual respect, honesty, shared power, and romantic love. On the other hand, pornography involves the exact opposite: disrespect, dissimulation, power imbalances, and detachment."

“It’s important to remember this business is built on sex and money, not trust.”

"In the end, we are responsible for the businesses we choose to endorse with our money and our mouse clicks. Choosing to avoid child porn and to watch only “adult” pornography may sound noble to some, but in the end, it only supports an industry that tries with all its might to sexualize youth."

"But let’s be realistic. Information is only the first step in changing a cultural norm: there is also a lot of work to do. But that’s okay. We can do it."

Thank you Matt Fradd!

[Imran Pasha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ohh okay lets start a review.. porn is bad end of story.. ahh arrya aise kaise bad hain..

let's jump into basic biology, any artificial stimulation which disturbs your homeostasis state of your mind is a bad deal and Porn is one of them.. there are other stuffs which alter your baseline of your harmonal levels like drugs, sex (if done excessively, you can watch "shame movie" to get the depth of sex addiction.. I know most of the people don't believe it exists but it does )


Excessive use of internet for junk information etc and overwhelming yourself with stuffs which you don't really need!!

Let's talk about the industry.. every industry is good for some section of people and bad for some.. talking about porn industry the people who are getting benifitted in long term are the investors.. those multi dollar MEN..

Talking about performers they too get exploited by this industry they either got blackmailed to get into this industry or they had serious emotional baggages with them.. there are tons of videos on youtube about ex performers' confessions on the industry why did they quit!! and their experience in industry!! Is it bad or good? you need to decide it after watching those!! ( Mia Didi's exclusive interview on youtube, you can watch it)

Coming to the fantasy of porn that caters million men and women around the globe..
Men get addicted more to porn and there are the tons reason for that, first men are sensitive to visual stimulation , porn presents hyped version of physical appearances of opposite sex.. which literally exploits men's evolutionary preference and sets "unrealistic expectations" for men towards opposite sex.. objectify them.. ( Not everyone is Kim, be reasonable). Apart from that most unethical stuffs gets uploaded every min which are kinda disgusting to even speak!!

I know there are tons of arguments regarding Porn is neutral it depends how you use it.. like water if you drink with reasonable proportion it is good.. if you drink too much you die( sinking in the salty ocean ) it actually helps people who are in old relationship to spice up things.. yea it is good but do we have free will ? Robert Sapolsky doesn't think so..( if you want to dive deep into free will stuff you can check out his Stanford lectures on the same on youtube..)

I know most you guys will be like this is just moral bitching of porn.. like yeah but put aside moral and religious jargon.. think about pure biology, physiological perspective spectrum.. if you want to know know biological bitching of porn you can read "You brain on Porn" or you can watch youtube animated series with the same name!! either one is good..

[Alyssa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nope. Cannot finish this.

[Muriel (The Purple Bookwyrm) · Rating 4 out of 5]

More accurate rating: 7.5/10.

I have decided to read three books about the subject of pornography and its harms, and will immediately issue a bias disclaimer in that I basically already largely agree with the thesis that (most of) pornography is, in fact, harmful - both from a production and a consumption standpoint -, especially where the development of young people's sexuality is concerned. One of my exes also had a mild pornography addiction, and I can attest to the fact it didn't have a positive effect on his relationship to sex or women.

The Porn Myth is written by an openly devout Catholic man, and I was worried that, despite his assurances to the contrary, his religious views would taint the text, its thesis, and thus make it largely unpalatable to me (and any other secular reader wishing to inform themselves about the problems with pornography). But I was pleasantly surprised by this book!

Yes, this book is heterocentric* and monogamous, marriage-centric and its thesis suffers somewhat from this limited focus. The author's "religious" also annoyingly shows at times, and I couldn't but help rolling my eyes whenever that happened. But otherwise, most of the author's "myth-busting" relies on a wide array of very compelling arguments based in neuro-science, addiction science and even feminist theory! Imagine that, a Catholic male author who presents porn-critical feminist arguments with accuracy and respect, and who thus also cares about the harms androcentric mainstream porn does to women as individuals and women as a class in an andro-capitalist society. Wonders never cease! 👀

Now of course, the author doesn't acknowledge the fact that pornography doesn't just influence society, society also influences the content of pornography - and it's clear, to me at least, that pornography wouldn't look the same without capitalism, or androcracy/patriarchy. It's a feedback loop rather than a uni-directional causal relationship. But in any case yes, I think it would be disingenuous at this point, in the age of Big Porn streaming platforms**, to claim that pornographic material doesn't have any influence whatsoever on individuals or society - that it is just a harmless pastime or masturbatory aid. And the author, to his credit, did a pretty good job presenting the conclusions of several studies linking pornography consumption to violent sexual behaviour. It's not so much that viewing pornography will cause a non-violent man to rape out of the blue, but that androcentric pornographic material propagates and reinforces rape myths, an abysmal image of women, and a skewed, generally violent understanding of sexual relationships.

On the other hand, the author also mentioned a study linking pornography consumption with lower academic performance in teenage boys, and I was like "Yeah but maybe that's simply because the time they should've spent studying was instead spent on the Internet watching porn?" After all, audience say it with me: correlation does not equal causation!

The weakest chapters were definitely those dedicated to drawn or cartoon porn - which I do personally see as a much lesser evil - and masturbation. Oh dear... I'm very wary of the whole NoFap movement, given it has a tendency to overlap with the Manosphere, and given it stinks of pseudo-scientific personal development woo (my ex was a little bit into it, and whilst I was happy he didn't watch porn, his attitude towards masturbation probably came from a relatively unhealthy place). The way I see it, it isn't jerking off that's the problem, it's jerking off to gross degrading porn that's the problem. And honestly, isn't it a little insulting to men to collapse masturbation with porn? Can't men use their imaginations like (a lot of) women do?

Otherwise, like I said, I was pleasantly surprised by this book, and by the fact I agreed with most of the author's arguments. Comme quoi, you can agree about certain things with people you would otherwise have little in common with (to be clear I already knew this, but reading this book further proved the point).

Some selected passages from the book:

Pornography is as much a celebration of sex as gluttony is a celebration of food. In both instances, that which should be appreciated isn't appreciated at all but is twisted into something unhealthy and dangerous. By placing sex - any kind of sex - into the medium of pornography, we gorge the masses on industrialised, commodified sexuality. This does not celebrate sex at all. It cheapens it.

At its core, modern pornography is an industry. It is about the commodification of bodies for revenue. {...} Pornography is about an economic exchange: it is sexually explicit material made by producers and paid for by consumers for the purpose of generating sexual activity.

As men try to bring what they learn from porn into the bedroom, they can often be blind to just how painful or distressing porn sex is in real life.

About the differences between erotic art and pornography:

Like prostitution, pornography has a specific desired end: sexual stimulation in order to produce a completed sexual act. True art is not produced for this purpose, to substitute for a prostitute. {...} Art and pornography can both induce sexual interest, but pornography is made exclusively for the purpose of causing sexual stimulation.

Not the author's quote, but I really like it:

Feminism is about ending the subordination of women. Expanding women's freedom of choice on a variety of fronts is an important part of that, but it is not the whole story. In fact, any meaningful liberation movement involves not only claiming the right to make choices, but also holding oneself accountable for the effects of those choices on oneself and on others.

*I mean to be fair most of the harm done to individuals and society by pornography definitely comes from porn made for straight men, so I can forgive the heterocentricity to a large degree.

**Case in point: wasn't it last year or a couple of years ago that Big Porn sites like PornHub saw their credit card support dropped after it was revealed a significant chunk of their catalogue was made up of child porn and adult rape porn?

PS: I'm glad I read this book but please GoodReads can you stop recommending Catholic theology books to me? I'm not freaking Christian! 😆

[Jason Ray Carney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a strange and enlightening book. I first heard about it in an academic discussion on men’s issues where the topic of pornography came up. When I was younger, I looked at internet porn and even subscribed to Maxim and Playboy (I still have a box in my attic because of their collectibility). In 2006, though, I attended a public debate between Ron Jeremy and a Catholic priest on the subject of pornography. I kind of implicitly sided with the priest because Ron Jeremy was a horrible debater and basically grossed the lecture hall out with lewd stories; from that point on, I avoided porn. Perhaps this is too personal, but my point is that being "anti-pornography" has been a quiet conviction of mine for a long time...something I rarely talk about. I'm definitely not cornering my friends at parties and demanding to see their browser history. But the topic, the issue, has interested me, mostly because I feel as though ubiquitous pornography is causing more harm than people realize. What drew me to this book, specifically, is that it isn’t a religious condemnation of porn but rather a scientific one, i.e. neurobiology and psychology, topics I've read a lot about. It cites studies on the negative neurobiological effects pornography has not only on developing brains but on all brains, hijacking the dopaminergic system and contributing to anhedonia, anxiety, and lack of self-confidence. Religious arguments work for religious audiences, obviously, but even atheists and agnostics can sense that pornography is harmful, and not just in a vague "ick" way. I guess this book is useful for defining the nature of the ick. Porn use, this book suggest, demonstrably damages neurobiology. In my opinion, this book is an excellent resource for anyone who (1) avoids pornography but who (2) wants a more concrete understanding as to why, beyond moral or theological reasons. Though published by a Catholic press, Matt Fradd makes clear that his aim is to mount a case against pornography on the grounds of science, reason, and social justice rather than biblical morality or shame. Anyway, I found this surprisingly good, even though the topic isn't something I have given a lot of thought to.

[Garret Shields · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5 - This BOOK is NOT for EVERYONE... BUT the PRINCIPLES in it ARE IMPORTANT for EVERYONE to understand!! This powerful book clearly and succinctly puts forth the non-religious arguments against pornography. It does so using scientific studies, personal anecdotes, and overwhelming statistics. Matt Fradd, the author, structured this book so that he debunks various “myths” about porn, such as: “Porn is just “adult” entertainment,” “Only religious people oppose porn,” and “I will always be addicted to porn.” It is an insightful and helpful book that helps us know some of the best ways to talk about and confront this issue that some have called the “plague” of our time.
The section on “The Porn Industry” was a little too hard for me to handle as it described the brutal treatment some of the actors and actresses in adult videos must endure. I skipped parts. The rest, though, was incredibly helpful and uplifting. To anyone who is interested in this topic and wants to be better educated about it, I highly recommend this book (with the caution that parts can be pretty intense).

[Josh Burkey · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much of the anti-porn literature out there is either way too scientific or way too religious. The Porn Myth is able to bridge the gap with grace while deconstructing over 20+ myths the pornography empire has taught us. This book is fairly inclusive of all genders and ages. Which made it probably one of the most informative books I've come across on the subject. The fact that the final portion of this book is summary and resources was awesome too. I couldn't book this book down and the fact that they have bullet points in the end to summarize this chapter makes me want to recommend this book more. If you're struggling with porn or are recovering from it; Fradd's book deep dives into what porn is doing to your brain and body. Fascinating and heartbreaking from start to finish.

[Alvaro Sánchez · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little bit repetitive but I'm think is a very good book. The author, who is catholic, try to criticize the porn from a non-religious perspective and I think it did fairly well (unlike other ocassions when religious author try to criticize something, but his conservativism flourish). I'm not very religious, I'm not conservative, and I can say this book has some uncomfortable truths about porn.

[Jonathan Mills · Rating 4 out of 5]

(Audiobook)

Matt Fradd tackles this complex topic from an almost completely secular perspective in a very helpful way. The first 2/3 of the book tackles several myths that people think regarding the use of pornography. This section is incredibly helpful and very psychologically incisive. The last third of the book offers a very practical pathway to quitting porn use.

I recommend this book for the discerning adult since it is sexually graphic, although not excessively so, who wishes to understand this phenomenon in our culture.

[Benjamin Stahl · Rating 3 out of 5]

Strangely enough, I didn’t actually like this all that much. I definitely appreciate where the author is coming from, and by and large I agree with his warnings about the detrimental effects pornography has on people, especially the young who too often receive the majority of their sex education from explicit, non-realistic and often disturbingly misogynistic content.

But a few things just rubbed me the wrong way - some of which should have done and were meant to, others which I don’t think were as intended by the author. I couldn’t actually wholly put my finger on it until I read other negative reviews (from both religious and non-religious readers) that I think hit the nail on the head. Fradd is, for one thing, off-puttingly preachy, condescendingly paternalistic, highly selective in his presented evidence.

He has every right to base his opposition to porn on his Christian values. Indeed, it would be ludicrous and grossly inconsistent if he didn’t. But I didn’t like the underhanded way he attempted to inject these values into the overall message because, despite promising a “non-religious” critique of the subject, the book really is just what he claims it isn’t. There are no creepy or confronting “lock the doors and bring out Jesus” moments, which always seems to be more of a Protestant rather than a Catholic thing anyway. But the underlying (and yes, in my view, correct) principles upon which the book is written still result in many assumptions made by the author both about his moral high ground, and the concurrence of the reader. While he is, to his credit, upfront and apologetic about his Catholic faith and values, he still ends up seeming disingenuous, dualistically motivated, and several decades a degree of naive.

Some parts also just felt almost accidentally comical. And this only because to take it seriously would have led to a much too uncomfortable experience. About two thirds into the book, Fradd seems to abandon his insistent acknowledgment that women are just as allured and affected by porn, and doubles down in addressing his soul-tortured male readers, gently but emotively chastising them with the air of someone who suspects he’s being watched by a group of approving feminists behind a one-way window glass. His treatment of the guilt and self-loathing one may feel in viewing porn, or even liking a momentary glimpse of flesh on a TV ad, put me in mind of Ned Flanders and Reverend Lovejoy’s utter impatience with the over-scrupulous man: “Ned Flanders is having some sort of crisis” … “Ohhh, probably stepped on a worm”.

In the troubled depths of my own guilty soul, I know I might be gravely wrong in taking a more lenient view towards myself and others regarding their private sexual habits. But that being how I am, I could not relate to the utter devastation Fradd expects his readers to feel if they have ever so much as Googled up some girl in a bikini, or glanced too long at a well-proportioned woman on the street when they thought nobody would notice and their lower self compelled them momentarily to desire what they knew could never be. Unfortunately I am not so innocent and pure in my own life to beat myself up over such trivial lapses into humanness.

Then the whole Covenant Eyes prevention program he tries to spruik - the one where each month, an elected friend or family member receives an AI-generated report about the naughty things you got off to … It was just too risible an idea for me.

For a more thoughtful or effective, non-religious argument against pornography, stick to Andrea Dworkin, or even check out the recent book, Consent Laid Bare, by young Australian (and, albeit likely only formerly, Eastern Orthodox) feminist writer, Chanel Contos. Unlike many in the modern debate about gender and sexual equality, Contos herself takes a unique and well-elaborated stance against pornography.

[James Mourgos · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite an important work considering the science behind Porn addiction. Too many men and women get involved in this. Why is it harmful? What happens to the brain when a man is "turned on" to the pornography on his phone or desktop?

Not only is science against porn, but the actresses in these porn dramas are ruthlessly treated and some have gone to the hospital after going through this ordeal, desperate for money and then sorry they did it. Male porn stars ravaged by STDs and women damaged for life.

Sounds attractive, no? NO! Read this boys and buy Net Nanny!

[Jessy Jones · Rating 1 out of 5]

Some interesting information, but mostly colored by a narrow, and clearly religious viewpoint. As someone mostly anti-porn, and mostly pro-erotica, I found the book’s foundation was built on shame, and flawed reasoning. I wouldn’t recommend it.

[Kshitij Chaurel · Rating 1 out of 5]

Waste of time.

[Georgia Nielsen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book as a way to gain knowledge about how harmful pornography is psychologically as well in terms of the prevalence of sex trafficking within the porn industry. It didn’t touch on sex trafficking nearly as much as I was anticipating, but it was absolutely dedicated to the psychology behind it. While much of the book focused on those concepts, the last few chapters were about “self-help” regarding porn addictions and how to teach children about sex and porn in a way that will build their character to avoid harmful depictions of it and eventual learned behavior, which is something that I just found myself not needing and made the rest of the book just not applicable to me.
I did appreciate how he used testimonials from people, especially on chapters he talked about the harm of the porn industry on women, in which ex and current porn stars gave their perspective.
The author is a devout catholic, and while I feel he diverged from biases for a majority of the book, I really saw the catholic interests crack through the final chapters. The example that bothered me the most was about what a “perfect porn free life” would look like for adolescents growing into adulthood which includes: modesty being at the forefront of character as a way to deflect porn or sexualization as well as sex being something only shared through the bond of marriage. Both of these, I think, are harmful things to market as “life hacks” to raising tweens/teens free from the harms of porn. Again, I wish there was more emphasis on things like sex trafficking and sexual abuse in an effort to support how unethical it is to watch or support porn. I feel like that is a better argument to deter people away from its use than the sanctity of marriage, especially for younger people.

[Rachel Bechtel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book really helpful if you’re looking to reaffirm your faith or if you struggle with a pornography addiction. It highlights how widespread the issue actually is and the damage it can do to family and relationships, sometimes without us even realizing it. I wanted to learn more about this topic since more people are entering the adult film industry nowadays.

The author shares a lot of great stats and dives into the psychology behind porn use. A quote that struck me was:

“Being a sex object is the only real way to be a woman,”

which, unfortunately, seems to reflect how society often portrays women and sex. The book also clarifies the huge difference between pornography and sex within a marriage, emphasizing that the porn industry is not actually empowering women, but instead dishonors and degrades them. It was surprising to learn that the feminist movement originally started as anti-pornography, but over time, some have tried to reframe it as “empowering” when it’s really not.

I appreciated that this book doesn’t rely solely on religious arguments; it mostly uses statistics, which added a lot of credibility. The only downside was the author’s tone—while porn and sex work can be really harmful, the language felt shaming at times, and I’m not even someone who struggles with porn. I can see how someone just starting to learn about this issue, or who is pro-pornography, might feel closed off or judged rather than encouraged to consider a different perspective. That’s why I’m subtracting a star. Otherwise, it’s a solid read that offers a lot of eye-opening information.

[Luke Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Matt Fradd exposes the falsehoods of contemporary rationalizations of pornography use with keen reasoning and recent scientific research. This is a very well-argued, well-reasoned and well-researched polemic to give anyone of any background pause about the inundation of pornography in our world.

[Sandis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Matt Fradd really exposed the reality behind pornography. It is a great book for anyone who struggles with porn addiction or wants to get educated about it to help someone struggling with it.

Highly recommend.

[Neil · Rating 2 out of 5]

I do not think this qualifies as a non-religious book although it presents itself as such. There’s a lot of information here, much of it decent, but it also felt that opposing scientific views were not well-represented, which is fine - I understand the position he is coming from. But it is not a scientific book, it’s a religious book that cites scientific studies to justify a particular religious viewpoint. I don’t disagree with him - I myself am Catholic and bought it at a Catholic bookstore - but I don’t think it should be presented as non-religious. The author gets points for brevity, however.

[Summer]

A very important book, but I don’t know how to rate it.

[Nikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. I recommend all should read this.

[Fadi Youkhana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent read for anyone living in today’s environment. Highly researched with many referenced studies and metrics. A topic worthy of discussion for all ages given the current prevalence.

[Sister Ignatia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Matt Fradd tells you everything that the culture is not telling you about porn and the porn industry. It is a difficult read, but a clear and insightful look into the most pressing problem facing young people today.

[Joanne | wellreadcoffeeaddict · Rating 5 out of 5]

rtc

[Tyler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very persuasive without being overtly Christian. Just facts and sound logic as to how there is nothing redeemable about the principality of pornography.

[Ginni · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great information, but the "myth/truth" format leads to a lot of repetitive information being covered.

[James Catingub · Rating 5 out of 5]

An alarming look into the reality of pornography that is sobering. A must read that demystifies the “allure” of pornography and is rich with academic citation.

[Katalina Amaya · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn’t finish the book.. it started quite interesting with all the information and explanations about why porn can be an addiction until it turned into a self help book on how to not watch porn and how horrible is to do so.

Wouldn’t recommend it