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Miss D and Me: Life With the Invincible Bette Davis
For ten years Kathryn Sermak was at Bette Davis's side--first as an employee, and then as her closest friend--and in Miss D and Me she tells the story of the great star's harrowing but inspiring final years, a story fans have been waiting decades to hear.
Miss D and Me is a story of two powerful women, one at the end of her life and the other at the beginning. As Bette Davis aged she was looking for an assistant, but she found something more than that in Kathryn: a loyal and loving buddy, a co-conspirator in her jokes and schemes, and a competent assistant whom she trained never to miss a detail. But Miss D had strict rules for Kathryn about everything from how to eat a salad to how to wear her hair...even the spelling of Kathryn's name was changed (adding the "y") per Miss D's request. Throughout their time together, the two grew incredibly close, and Kathryn had a front-row seat to the larger-than-life Davis's career renaissance in her later years, as well as to the humiliating public betrayal that nearly killed Miss D.
The frame of this story is a four-day road trip Kathryn and Davis took from Biarritz to Paris, during which they disentangled their ferocious dependency. Miss D and Me is a window into the world of the unique and formidable Bette Davis, told by the person who perhaps knew her best of all.
Miss D and Me is a story of two powerful women, one at the end of her life and the other at the beginning. As Bette Davis aged she was looking for an assistant, but she found something more than that in Kathryn: a loyal and loving buddy, a co-conspirator in her jokes and schemes, and a competent assistant whom she trained never to miss a detail. But Miss D had strict rules for Kathryn about everything from how to eat a salad to how to wear her hair...even the spelling of Kathryn's name was changed (adding the "y") per Miss D's request. Throughout their time together, the two grew incredibly close, and Kathryn had a front-row seat to the larger-than-life Davis's career renaissance in her later years, as well as to the humiliating public betrayal that nearly killed Miss D.
The frame of this story is a four-day road trip Kathryn and Davis took from Biarritz to Paris, during which they disentangled their ferocious dependency. Miss D and Me is a window into the world of the unique and formidable Bette Davis, told by the person who perhaps knew her best of all.
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First published September 12, 2017
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 230 reviews
January 17, 2024
This book was a pleasure to read. I loved Miss Davis' movies, but my very favorite thing about her wasn't the movies, it was the interviews she gave. I dearly loved her sense of humor. The best ones were when she was on The Late Show, with Johnny Carson. Those two together were hysterical! I was hesitant about reading this book at first because I usually don't read stories about show biz personalities that I love. I prefer not to find out the bad, and just continue thinking good thoughts....It's why I've never read anything about Carson! Ms. Sermak did a stand up job on this book. I think it captured both some bad with lots of good. I don't think I could have been around Miss Davis for long, as her perfecting standards would drive me batty! I could have had a few drinks with her, smoked a lot of cigarettes and had some good laughs though. Also, much as she smoked, I'd have rolled a joint and smoked her out! I'm surprised by how much I came appreciate Ms. Sermak, and I wanted to know more about her. I laughed, cried and at times got angry while reading, but the last 25 or so pages in the Paris hospital were so sad that it took awhile to get through it. When she apologized to the Doctor for dying in his care and hospital, I completely lost it. Who does that? I can't recommend this book highly enough. To be able to get just a small glimpse into Miss. Davis' final years made this a very special read. My thanks to Hatchette Book's and Netgalley for allowing me to read and review this arc.
March 3, 2025
Bette Davis is such a cultural icon of strength, empowerment and formidable power.
Her performances are flamboyant, grand, seen as extremely excessive, sometimes even campy. However she was also excellent at conveying subtlety, stillness and control in equal measure. A true artist and possibly the greatest actress that ever lived that paved the way for the greats such as Meryl Streep, Jane Fonda, Jodie Foster, Glenda Jackson and Frances McDormand.
Much has been written about this legendary actress. This memoir, written by her personal assistant Kathryn Sermak traces the last 10 years of Ms. Davis’ life, which was marked with personal setbacks, illnesses, and unforgivable betrayal by her beloved daughter.
But it is also treasured Valentine and love letter to a woman who continues to inspire future actresses and actors. It’s a treasure trove of anecdotes of a Hollywood era gone by. It is also Sermak sharing to the world her love and respect for Miss Davis and of how they became a makeshift family.
I want to stress this is not a definitive biography of Bette Davis’ life, but one of many little tributes that show how much Ms Davis had a lasting impact in the cultural conversation.
Her performances are flamboyant, grand, seen as extremely excessive, sometimes even campy. However she was also excellent at conveying subtlety, stillness and control in equal measure. A true artist and possibly the greatest actress that ever lived that paved the way for the greats such as Meryl Streep, Jane Fonda, Jodie Foster, Glenda Jackson and Frances McDormand.
Much has been written about this legendary actress. This memoir, written by her personal assistant Kathryn Sermak traces the last 10 years of Ms. Davis’ life, which was marked with personal setbacks, illnesses, and unforgivable betrayal by her beloved daughter.
But it is also treasured Valentine and love letter to a woman who continues to inspire future actresses and actors. It’s a treasure trove of anecdotes of a Hollywood era gone by. It is also Sermak sharing to the world her love and respect for Miss Davis and of how they became a makeshift family.
I want to stress this is not a definitive biography of Bette Davis’ life, but one of many little tributes that show how much Ms Davis had a lasting impact in the cultural conversation.
September 21, 2017
Excited doesn't even begin to describe my reaction when I heard this book was in the works. Duly preordered, I've been anticipating this for months. Or decades to be honest. I joke how there's a new Bette Davis biography almost like clockwork yearly (mostly rehash but I eagerly devour them anyways), and finally one of the major people in Bette's life has put her experiences to paper, and this will take a place of honor along with the other 31 books on Bette I have.
Sermak herself mentions that she's been working on this book for thirty years--after making a promise to Bette that she would write a book about their time together and start it with their Biarritz trip--and the only nagging qualm I have about this book is that it could have been much much more. For example the awkward dinner with Roy Mosely who tried to pump her for Bette gossip, and him fleeing the hotel in the middle of the night after Bette found out about this and told him off. To majority of people reading this book--well they wouldn't know the significance of that--and there's no backstory about his dealings with Davis to show why he was such a jackass or their falling out. (His book on Davis is probably one of the most mean spirited of the biographies out there on her--which is saying something after B.D. Hyman's anti-Mother's Day card--and now he has teamed up with loathsome pornographer Darwin Porter, further shredding any credibility he might have).
I would have liked more on Howard Schiff, Davis' long time lawyer and confidant, since he and Kathryn were her two rocks after Hyman's book was published. Really, the bulk of my complaints is that I wanted waaay more detail. How was the dinner at de Havilland's? More on Davis' son Michael who runs the Bette Davis Foundation with Sermak now. More on the gay black designer Patrick Kelly, who outfitted Davis in all those button designs in her last decade (and who died of AIDS not long after Davis). Hell, I'd be happy with more on Sermak's life as a personal assistant to the stars after Davis (Isabelle Adjani, Buzz Aldrin, Berry Gordy), but Sermak is nothing but discreet.
And more than discreet, Sermak genuinely loved Davis and I think the feeling was mutual. And without her support would we have had that last decade with her? Davis would have died of the stroke without her assistant there to instantly realize what happened. Possibly would have died when the nurses tried to give her the wrong medication twice. Pulled a Maria Ousepenskaya and burnt to death in bed with an errant lit cigarette if Sermak hadn't smelled the smoke and rescued her. Would have given up maybe during the physical therapy post-stroke and definitely wouldn't have had someone to encourage her to fight back against her frail health, her shit of a daughter, and write that final book (This 'n That) and do those last films.
I mean look at that photo--the book has many photos I've never seen before (and I wish there was supplemental stuff, like a link to the many recordings they made back and forth for each other). It's rare to read a biography really that comes from a place of love--especially on celebrities of yore. Meanness and cruelty must pay off more.
“She was always the greatest supporter of women,” Sermak explains. “What she didn’t like was that women could be back-biting . . . instead of supporting one another. She always said that women should empower other women—just like what men do in a boys’ club.”
Funny enough, Sermak liked Feud, and appreciates that Ryan Murphy made Davis known again to a younger generation, but her story is a Pygmalion one. At 22, she showed up to interview as an assistant, knowing nothing about Davis or old Hollywood, and based on a "hunch" Bette hired her. Then Davis got to work changing her assistant's name, her posture, her handshake, her haircut, her clothing, how she walked, hired a butler to perform elaborate dinners so Sermak would know what to do, made her take dancing lessors, etc. etc. Some part of this was vicariously living through her young "chum" but not in a weird possessive way. Davis encouraged her career and romance, supported her moving to Paris to go into fashion, and in the course of the book their relationship moved from boss/employer (Davis had contemplated firing her almost daily those first 5 months), to mother/daughter duo, to ultimately best friends and almost soul mates.
In a word, it's adorable. The random road trip they went on at the end, where their only rule was backroads with no real destination in mind, wandering the French countryside, I want to see as a movie (probably animated would be best). There should be more books like this.
Sermak herself mentions that she's been working on this book for thirty years--after making a promise to Bette that she would write a book about their time together and start it with their Biarritz trip--and the only nagging qualm I have about this book is that it could have been much much more. For example the awkward dinner with Roy Mosely who tried to pump her for Bette gossip, and him fleeing the hotel in the middle of the night after Bette found out about this and told him off. To majority of people reading this book--well they wouldn't know the significance of that--and there's no backstory about his dealings with Davis to show why he was such a jackass or their falling out. (His book on Davis is probably one of the most mean spirited of the biographies out there on her--which is saying something after B.D. Hyman's anti-Mother's Day card--and now he has teamed up with loathsome pornographer Darwin Porter, further shredding any credibility he might have).
I would have liked more on Howard Schiff, Davis' long time lawyer and confidant, since he and Kathryn were her two rocks after Hyman's book was published. Really, the bulk of my complaints is that I wanted waaay more detail. How was the dinner at de Havilland's? More on Davis' son Michael who runs the Bette Davis Foundation with Sermak now. More on the gay black designer Patrick Kelly, who outfitted Davis in all those button designs in her last decade (and who died of AIDS not long after Davis). Hell, I'd be happy with more on Sermak's life as a personal assistant to the stars after Davis (Isabelle Adjani, Buzz Aldrin, Berry Gordy), but Sermak is nothing but discreet.
And more than discreet, Sermak genuinely loved Davis and I think the feeling was mutual. And without her support would we have had that last decade with her? Davis would have died of the stroke without her assistant there to instantly realize what happened. Possibly would have died when the nurses tried to give her the wrong medication twice. Pulled a Maria Ousepenskaya and burnt to death in bed with an errant lit cigarette if Sermak hadn't smelled the smoke and rescued her. Would have given up maybe during the physical therapy post-stroke and definitely wouldn't have had someone to encourage her to fight back against her frail health, her shit of a daughter, and write that final book (This 'n That) and do those last films.
I mean look at that photo--the book has many photos I've never seen before (and I wish there was supplemental stuff, like a link to the many recordings they made back and forth for each other). It's rare to read a biography really that comes from a place of love--especially on celebrities of yore. Meanness and cruelty must pay off more.
“She was always the greatest supporter of women,” Sermak explains. “What she didn’t like was that women could be back-biting . . . instead of supporting one another. She always said that women should empower other women—just like what men do in a boys’ club.”
Funny enough, Sermak liked Feud, and appreciates that Ryan Murphy made Davis known again to a younger generation, but her story is a Pygmalion one. At 22, she showed up to interview as an assistant, knowing nothing about Davis or old Hollywood, and based on a "hunch" Bette hired her. Then Davis got to work changing her assistant's name, her posture, her handshake, her haircut, her clothing, how she walked, hired a butler to perform elaborate dinners so Sermak would know what to do, made her take dancing lessors, etc. etc. Some part of this was vicariously living through her young "chum" but not in a weird possessive way. Davis encouraged her career and romance, supported her moving to Paris to go into fashion, and in the course of the book their relationship moved from boss/employer (Davis had contemplated firing her almost daily those first 5 months), to mother/daughter duo, to ultimately best friends and almost soul mates.
In a word, it's adorable. The random road trip they went on at the end, where their only rule was backroads with no real destination in mind, wandering the French countryside, I want to see as a movie (probably animated would be best). There should be more books like this.
April 29, 2019
Up to this point in my life, I have two heroes: my mother, and Bette Davis. Although, I never met Miss D, I felt I knew her to a certain extent because of her films and various facts concerning her life. Dark Victory, The Little Foxes, and Now, Voyager, just to name a few of her classics, got me through some rough times during my teenage years and early twenties. Now in my forties, they still do.
Kathryn Sermak’s account of her time spent with Miss D (as she affectionately called her) during the last ten years of Bette’s life is a tender tribute to a fierce, determined, and headstrong woman who never backed away from a challenge. For this reason alone, I adore Ms. Davis. Not only was she one of the most dynamic forces ever recorded on celluloid, but she fought, and she fought hard. For her life, for her children, and ultimately for her art. I could ramble on for pages about my love affair with Ms Davis and her films, but I’m so grateful to have read Ms. Sermak’s memoir about those last precious moments she shared with a screen legend.
Kathryn Sermak’s account of her time spent with Miss D (as she affectionately called her) during the last ten years of Bette’s life is a tender tribute to a fierce, determined, and headstrong woman who never backed away from a challenge. For this reason alone, I adore Ms. Davis. Not only was she one of the most dynamic forces ever recorded on celluloid, but she fought, and she fought hard. For her life, for her children, and ultimately for her art. I could ramble on for pages about my love affair with Ms Davis and her films, but I’m so grateful to have read Ms. Sermak’s memoir about those last precious moments she shared with a screen legend.
September 16, 2017
Many, many things have been written about Bette Davis, particularly about her early and mid career, her various battles with studios, directors, and, yes, Joan. Aside from many biographies of varying quality, we also have her two memoirs and a ridiculous TV show to go to for information. The story of Bette’s life is usually most successfully told by looking through the lens of her career, and is one filled with rage, determination, and triumph. However, by the 80’s, the career slowed down, and Bette’s later years were, to put it mildly, difficult. After being plagued by a series of health problems -- breast cancer leading to a double mastectomy, and then a stroke which impaired her speech and mobility -- it was her daughter’s attempt at capitalizing on the success of Mommie Dearest with the (mostly debunked) “tell all” book My Mother’s Keeper -- that dealt the blow that Bette never really recovered from. A lot of what we know about this period of Bette’s life is speculation and hearsay, which is why I was so excited about the publication of Miss D & Me, Kathryn Sermak’s account of her time spent as Bette’s assistant and friend in her final years.
For reasons that aren’t entirely clear to me, my obsession with Bette Davis grows deeper over time. Aside from her two memoirs, I’ve read every single biography that exists. Yes, maybe I should spend more time outdoors, but anyway -- some stories contradict others, but piecing all of these things together and looking at the broad picture, I’ve managed to get what I think of as a pretty good sense of what Bette Davis was like as a real, complicated, occasionally infuriating person. So, while we really only have Sermak’s word to go by with most of the one-on-one encounters between them in this book, with everything we know about Bette, these stories all come across as truthful.
What we’re given here is not an objective biography -- it’s not intended as one. We have one woman’s perspective that comes across as reverent but not starry-eyed. Sermak does not shy away from showing us some of Bette’s low points, her moments of less flattering behavior, and her historic and infamous sudden explosions of fury and rage. She doesn’t try to make excuses for Bette’s behavior. But one thing Sermak does very well here, and that I appreciate, is giving us the context and backstory to properly frame these moments. Bette was an extremely complicated and contradictory person, used to getting her own way, and Sermak’s portrait of a woman who spent her entire life fiercely protective of her independence suddenly have to come to terms with her own mortality and physical limitations is heartbreaking and powerful.
While a lot of the book was mostly confirmation for me of things I already suspected and half-knew, the real gem here for Bette fans is the final section. In the summer of 1985, Kathryn and Bette took a roadtrip across France, and for possibly the first time, Bette allowed a schedule that was not meticulously plotted and micromanaged. I had never seen details of this trip mentioned anywhere else before, and it was an absolute delight being able to read about these two women going on an adventure like this and seeing Bette being able to relax and enjoy herself so close to the end of her life.
Miss D & Me is a real gift to Bette’s fans, whether they have a casual enjoyment of her movies or they’re somewhat psychotically obsessed like I am, and I’m so grateful that Kathryn finally got this out into the world. It is a clear, honest, and respectful account of the final years of one of the most remarkable women of the 20th Century, and comes across as a true labor of love. Kathryn, if you ever happen to read this, on behalf of all Bette fans -- thank you!
For reasons that aren’t entirely clear to me, my obsession with Bette Davis grows deeper over time. Aside from her two memoirs, I’ve read every single biography that exists. Yes, maybe I should spend more time outdoors, but anyway -- some stories contradict others, but piecing all of these things together and looking at the broad picture, I’ve managed to get what I think of as a pretty good sense of what Bette Davis was like as a real, complicated, occasionally infuriating person. So, while we really only have Sermak’s word to go by with most of the one-on-one encounters between them in this book, with everything we know about Bette, these stories all come across as truthful.
What we’re given here is not an objective biography -- it’s not intended as one. We have one woman’s perspective that comes across as reverent but not starry-eyed. Sermak does not shy away from showing us some of Bette’s low points, her moments of less flattering behavior, and her historic and infamous sudden explosions of fury and rage. She doesn’t try to make excuses for Bette’s behavior. But one thing Sermak does very well here, and that I appreciate, is giving us the context and backstory to properly frame these moments. Bette was an extremely complicated and contradictory person, used to getting her own way, and Sermak’s portrait of a woman who spent her entire life fiercely protective of her independence suddenly have to come to terms with her own mortality and physical limitations is heartbreaking and powerful.
While a lot of the book was mostly confirmation for me of things I already suspected and half-knew, the real gem here for Bette fans is the final section. In the summer of 1985, Kathryn and Bette took a roadtrip across France, and for possibly the first time, Bette allowed a schedule that was not meticulously plotted and micromanaged. I had never seen details of this trip mentioned anywhere else before, and it was an absolute delight being able to read about these two women going on an adventure like this and seeing Bette being able to relax and enjoy herself so close to the end of her life.
Miss D & Me is a real gift to Bette’s fans, whether they have a casual enjoyment of her movies or they’re somewhat psychotically obsessed like I am, and I’m so grateful that Kathryn finally got this out into the world. It is a clear, honest, and respectful account of the final years of one of the most remarkable women of the 20th Century, and comes across as a true labor of love. Kathryn, if you ever happen to read this, on behalf of all Bette fans -- thank you!
November 3, 2024
This book is a truly intimate retelling of the last years of Bette Davis’ life and is told in such vivid detail. It was a perfect accompaniment to Bette Davis’ autobiography, This n That.
August 24, 2017
I thoroughly enjoyed this book by Kathryn Sermak about her years working with the legendary Bette Davis. During that time they became as close as family and Bette Davis mentored the young author in many customs and manners. Sermak went on to become Davis's personal assistant and best friend. Later, Davis went through some serious health problems and it was Sermak by her side helping her all through the long recovery.
She took such good care of Miss Davis that she was eventually able to return to acting briefly at a fairly advanced age. The book shares many stories of their times together traveling and working on movie sets, or preparing for work in different locations. Ms. Sermak also spent quite a lot of time with Miss Davis working on a couple of prior books that Miss Davis had written. They have published afterward with both of them as coauthors, and I look forward to reading some of them. This book had some great insights into the role of a personal assistant to a busy film star of that era with exacting standards and what that entailed.
I was provided with an advance reading copy of the book for my review by NetGalley, Hachette Books, and the author.
She took such good care of Miss Davis that she was eventually able to return to acting briefly at a fairly advanced age. The book shares many stories of their times together traveling and working on movie sets, or preparing for work in different locations. Ms. Sermak also spent quite a lot of time with Miss Davis working on a couple of prior books that Miss Davis had written. They have published afterward with both of them as coauthors, and I look forward to reading some of them. This book had some great insights into the role of a personal assistant to a busy film star of that era with exacting standards and what that entailed.
I was provided with an advance reading copy of the book for my review by NetGalley, Hachette Books, and the author.
July 22, 2017
5 stars
This book is so engrossing that I read it in one sitting.
This is a wonderful account of Miss Davis’ last years with Catherine “Kathryn” Sermak. It is written with love, tenderness and some frustration at living with an exacting and perfectionist character like Bette Davis. Though their years together are vividly described in this book, the highlight is their four day automobile journey through the countryside of France on their way to Paris. During the journey they have moved beyond their employer and employee relationship and moved firmly into friendship.
Kathryn was there for Miss Davis’ remarkable comeback in movies, her dreadful stroke and her trying to come to terms with the horrifying book that her daughter Bede wrote about her.
This book is well written and I applaud Kathryn Sermak for telling her story. I only knew Miss Davis from her movies like Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? I admired her acting ability, but never really knew her as a person. I didn’t accept much that was written in the papers about her in those days, and I still don’t. I only know that she was a remarkable actress and I admired her for that. The way she wrote about Miss Davis’ death and what she did for her was so vividly described and the tenderness that she showed to Miss Davis was almost heartbreaking. Beautifully written!!
I believe Ms. Sermak wrote an inspiring tribute to Miss Davis and that fact that it took thirty years to write it only adds to the book’s power.
I want to thank NetGalley and Hatchett Books for forwarding to me a copy of this great book to read.
This book is so engrossing that I read it in one sitting.
This is a wonderful account of Miss Davis’ last years with Catherine “Kathryn” Sermak. It is written with love, tenderness and some frustration at living with an exacting and perfectionist character like Bette Davis. Though their years together are vividly described in this book, the highlight is their four day automobile journey through the countryside of France on their way to Paris. During the journey they have moved beyond their employer and employee relationship and moved firmly into friendship.
Kathryn was there for Miss Davis’ remarkable comeback in movies, her dreadful stroke and her trying to come to terms with the horrifying book that her daughter Bede wrote about her.
This book is well written and I applaud Kathryn Sermak for telling her story. I only knew Miss Davis from her movies like Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? I admired her acting ability, but never really knew her as a person. I didn’t accept much that was written in the papers about her in those days, and I still don’t. I only know that she was a remarkable actress and I admired her for that. The way she wrote about Miss Davis’ death and what she did for her was so vividly described and the tenderness that she showed to Miss Davis was almost heartbreaking. Beautifully written!!
I believe Ms. Sermak wrote an inspiring tribute to Miss Davis and that fact that it took thirty years to write it only adds to the book’s power.
I want to thank NetGalley and Hatchett Books for forwarding to me a copy of this great book to read.
March 6, 2024
A couple of thoughts about the book. First being that half the book if not more of it was about the author. Somewhat interesting at first but after a while I was tired of hearing about Kathryn, her family and her boyfriend. Secondly the way Bette Davis was presented through much of the book did not endear her to me. There are moments when I did feel for her but overall, I think I would have rather read one of the books Bette wrote herself. So, it took the author about 30 years to get around to writing the book and how much stock can you put into her recollections of all of this? Plus, I bet she wasn't as wonderful as she makes herself look. It's just not a great book.
May 26, 2019
I was never fortunate to meet Miss Davis in person, but I’ve seen quite a few of her films, and after having read this beautiful story by Kathryn Sermak, I feel as though I got to know the real legend, Bette Davis. Oh my, this book was amazing!
It was so refreshing to read how Miss D came to hire Kathryn. And even though Kathryn was a bit green when she was first hired, Miss D, in her typical fashion, groomed and guided Kathryn to become the woman she is. Their working arrangement was a bit rocky in the beginning, as Miss Davis could be overly dramatic and quite overbearing. It took all Kathryn had to get to learn Miss Davis. What people often mistake when they see their favorite Hollywood actors is that to work for them is quite different than what you see up on screen. However, that wasn’t Kathryn’s problem. Miss Davis began molding Kathryn from an era in which she came up. I believe Miss Davis was seventy-three when she began working for her. Kathryn was in her early twenties. There was a huge age difference, but the lessons that Miss Davis taught her were golden.
I loved the stories she recounted about their trips to Paris and London, while Miss Davis was working on films. The arguments and disagreements the two of them had. But what really stood out for me was the love the two of them shared for one another. I remember when Bede Hyman, Miss Davis’s daughter, wrote a book about her famous mother. I’m glad I never read her book because this book is the true impression of what I believed to be Bette Davis. In fact, if you ask me, I feel Kathryn was more of a real daughter to Miss Davis than Bede. I can’t begin to imagine how painful it must have been for Miss Davis to read the words her daughter had to say about her. After you read about Miss Davis’s learning of her daughter’s ultimate betrayal, you’ll feel the pain. I know I certainly did. Not to mention, her daughter didn’t even give the respect to her mother to tell her that she wrote it. Miss Davis had to learn this through her closest confidantes, Kathryn, and Harold.
I love memoirs and this was well written and so heartfelt. What I truly loved about the way Kathryn attacked this book is that she told what needed to be said instead of going for the jugular vein and sucking all the dollars she could to tell a story about Bette Davis. This story felt honest and sincere and I’m positive Miss Davis would be proud of Kathryn’s real words. At least Kathryn received Miss Davis’s blessing on writing her story, which is more than I can say for how her own daughter treated her before she passed. But, I’ll say this, at least she betrayed her mother while she was here to see it, unlike Miss Davis’s archrival, Joan Crawford’s daughter did with Mommie Dearest. I’m not saying that parents are perfect because they aren’t, but to deliberately write untruths about your famous mother to make money off those lies and to try and destroy her reputation is downright cruel and vicious. Thank you, Kathryn, for setting the record straight. I truly believed her words. It touched me in ways I will never forget. The ending was hard for me to read. I kept thinking about my own mother and how I’ll one day have to deal with her death. My God, that was so touching the way Kathryn handled Miss D’s death. I sat and cried my heart out trying to read the words through my tear-filled eyes. Wow, what an incredible woman Bette Davis was.
I give Miss D and Me five star-studded Oscars. What an award-winning performance. I absolutely fell in love with this story. If you’re a memoir fan, I highly recommend you read this. You will not be able to put this book down. I hated when I had to, but I quickly picked it up as soon as I was done with work. Kathryn, what an incredible life you’ve led, and you can rest easy knowing you did right by a legendary woman and actress, Miss Bette Davis. Thank you for sharing your story with us!
It was so refreshing to read how Miss D came to hire Kathryn. And even though Kathryn was a bit green when she was first hired, Miss D, in her typical fashion, groomed and guided Kathryn to become the woman she is. Their working arrangement was a bit rocky in the beginning, as Miss Davis could be overly dramatic and quite overbearing. It took all Kathryn had to get to learn Miss Davis. What people often mistake when they see their favorite Hollywood actors is that to work for them is quite different than what you see up on screen. However, that wasn’t Kathryn’s problem. Miss Davis began molding Kathryn from an era in which she came up. I believe Miss Davis was seventy-three when she began working for her. Kathryn was in her early twenties. There was a huge age difference, but the lessons that Miss Davis taught her were golden.
I loved the stories she recounted about their trips to Paris and London, while Miss Davis was working on films. The arguments and disagreements the two of them had. But what really stood out for me was the love the two of them shared for one another. I remember when Bede Hyman, Miss Davis’s daughter, wrote a book about her famous mother. I’m glad I never read her book because this book is the true impression of what I believed to be Bette Davis. In fact, if you ask me, I feel Kathryn was more of a real daughter to Miss Davis than Bede. I can’t begin to imagine how painful it must have been for Miss Davis to read the words her daughter had to say about her. After you read about Miss Davis’s learning of her daughter’s ultimate betrayal, you’ll feel the pain. I know I certainly did. Not to mention, her daughter didn’t even give the respect to her mother to tell her that she wrote it. Miss Davis had to learn this through her closest confidantes, Kathryn, and Harold.
I love memoirs and this was well written and so heartfelt. What I truly loved about the way Kathryn attacked this book is that she told what needed to be said instead of going for the jugular vein and sucking all the dollars she could to tell a story about Bette Davis. This story felt honest and sincere and I’m positive Miss Davis would be proud of Kathryn’s real words. At least Kathryn received Miss Davis’s blessing on writing her story, which is more than I can say for how her own daughter treated her before she passed. But, I’ll say this, at least she betrayed her mother while she was here to see it, unlike Miss Davis’s archrival, Joan Crawford’s daughter did with Mommie Dearest. I’m not saying that parents are perfect because they aren’t, but to deliberately write untruths about your famous mother to make money off those lies and to try and destroy her reputation is downright cruel and vicious. Thank you, Kathryn, for setting the record straight. I truly believed her words. It touched me in ways I will never forget. The ending was hard for me to read. I kept thinking about my own mother and how I’ll one day have to deal with her death. My God, that was so touching the way Kathryn handled Miss D’s death. I sat and cried my heart out trying to read the words through my tear-filled eyes. Wow, what an incredible woman Bette Davis was.
I give Miss D and Me five star-studded Oscars. What an award-winning performance. I absolutely fell in love with this story. If you’re a memoir fan, I highly recommend you read this. You will not be able to put this book down. I hated when I had to, but I quickly picked it up as soon as I was done with work. Kathryn, what an incredible life you’ve led, and you can rest easy knowing you did right by a legendary woman and actress, Miss Bette Davis. Thank you for sharing your story with us!
January 30, 2018
I can't even write a coherent review because I'm crying so much/
December 1, 2017
This is a memoir written by Bette Davis’ former assistant, Kathryn Sermak, who spent nearly a decade working for Davis and developed an unlikely friendship with the screen legend. It took Sermak nearly thirty years to write this book and it stands as a tribute to Davis’ bravery and resilience.
In 1979 Sermak was a recent college graduate living with her strict parents in San Bernardino. College had given her a taste of independence and she was doing her best to avoid graduate school. She fell into a job that utilized the foreign language skills she had mastered in college, and spent six months teaching Spanish to Princess Shams Pahlavi, sister to the deposed Shah of Iran. When the Princess left for Mexico, Sermak had to find yet another means to put off grad school. Armed with an admittedly padded resume, she managed to wrangle a meeting with Davis, who was preparing to work on an upcoming film project and looking to hire an assistant. After Davis approved Sermak’s astrological sign and confirmed her ability to cook a “three minute egg” (which was not entirely true), she was hired.
Over the next few months, the demanding Davis (or “Miss D” for short) would put Sermak to the test. Sermak went through a rough period of adjustment, doing her best to meet the requirements of the screen legend with mixed results. She feared that Davis would fire her at any moment, a fear that was seemingly confirmed when she overheard Davis relay over the telephone that Sermak was “all wrong.” Davis instructed Sermak to take a short vacation that proved to be stressful as the fledgling assistant worried about the status of her job. To Sermak’s surprise, Davis did not fire her, instead confessed that she had genuinely missed her young employee. Davis, thereafter, took Sermak under her wing and the star began a Pygmalion-like odyssey to shape and mold the young woman into a intuitive professional. Rather than shrink at such a proposal and its challenging taskmaster, Sermak met the assignment head-on.
What was intended to be a three month job for Sermak evolved into a decade long friendship as the two women battled an onslaught of personal and public crises together. The book covers a particularly grueling period in Davis’ life: following a diagnosis of cancer Davis underwent a mastectomy; complications related to that procedure led to a stroke that would nearly kill the acting legend. Sermak was at Davis’ side when the stroke occurred, and recognizing that something was wrong, demanded a medical intervention that ultimately saved Davis’ life. Davis’ agonizing recovery from the stroke was compounded when she learned that her daughter Barbara Hyman, aka “B.D.” (“BeDe” in the book), had written a scathing Mommie dearest style book. Sermak had been trying to hide this from Davis in order to protect her from the possibility of another health complication. Davis was incensed on both accounts.
Gossip is not dished out in this book, but a few stories do surface that could be construed as gossipy, notably an extremely uncomfortable luncheon with Roald Dahl and Patricia Neal, and the complete deterioration of Davis’ relationship with her daughter. And for those readers hoping for it, the name Joan Crawford is mentioned once. These stories aren’t intended to undermine Davis’ privacy, but rather illustrate how the bond between Davis and Sermak was strengthened during Davis’ final decade. After B.D.’s betrayal, loyalty was paramount to Davis and the devotion Sermak showed was never forgotten by the screen legend, or those connected to her inner circle. Davis’ son Michael gave his support to both Sermak and the book, as did a number of Davis’ long-time friends like Robert Wagner and Olivia de Havilland.
Sermak both loved and admired Davis but does not sugarcoat her recollections of the actress. Davis’ mission to shape Sermak into a confident professional is, at times, cringeworthy but Sermak took it in stride and her willingness to learn from Davis is admirable. Sermak went on to work as a personal assistant for a number of high profile personalities including Motown founder Berry Gordy, astronaut Buzz Aldrin and actress Isabelle Adjani, proving that Davis’ tutelage was not in vain.
The Bette Davis featured in this book is multi-dimensional: alternately funny, stubborn, domineering, wise, heartbreaking, inspiring and always fascinating. Davis, no doubt, changed Sermak’s life, and the book is a testament to Sermak’s admiration for her beloved Miss D, as well as the eternal appeal of the extraordinary Bette Davis.
Reviewed by Nicholas Beyelia, Librarian
In 1979 Sermak was a recent college graduate living with her strict parents in San Bernardino. College had given her a taste of independence and she was doing her best to avoid graduate school. She fell into a job that utilized the foreign language skills she had mastered in college, and spent six months teaching Spanish to Princess Shams Pahlavi, sister to the deposed Shah of Iran. When the Princess left for Mexico, Sermak had to find yet another means to put off grad school. Armed with an admittedly padded resume, she managed to wrangle a meeting with Davis, who was preparing to work on an upcoming film project and looking to hire an assistant. After Davis approved Sermak’s astrological sign and confirmed her ability to cook a “three minute egg” (which was not entirely true), she was hired.
Over the next few months, the demanding Davis (or “Miss D” for short) would put Sermak to the test. Sermak went through a rough period of adjustment, doing her best to meet the requirements of the screen legend with mixed results. She feared that Davis would fire her at any moment, a fear that was seemingly confirmed when she overheard Davis relay over the telephone that Sermak was “all wrong.” Davis instructed Sermak to take a short vacation that proved to be stressful as the fledgling assistant worried about the status of her job. To Sermak’s surprise, Davis did not fire her, instead confessed that she had genuinely missed her young employee. Davis, thereafter, took Sermak under her wing and the star began a Pygmalion-like odyssey to shape and mold the young woman into a intuitive professional. Rather than shrink at such a proposal and its challenging taskmaster, Sermak met the assignment head-on.
What was intended to be a three month job for Sermak evolved into a decade long friendship as the two women battled an onslaught of personal and public crises together. The book covers a particularly grueling period in Davis’ life: following a diagnosis of cancer Davis underwent a mastectomy; complications related to that procedure led to a stroke that would nearly kill the acting legend. Sermak was at Davis’ side when the stroke occurred, and recognizing that something was wrong, demanded a medical intervention that ultimately saved Davis’ life. Davis’ agonizing recovery from the stroke was compounded when she learned that her daughter Barbara Hyman, aka “B.D.” (“BeDe” in the book), had written a scathing Mommie dearest style book. Sermak had been trying to hide this from Davis in order to protect her from the possibility of another health complication. Davis was incensed on both accounts.
Gossip is not dished out in this book, but a few stories do surface that could be construed as gossipy, notably an extremely uncomfortable luncheon with Roald Dahl and Patricia Neal, and the complete deterioration of Davis’ relationship with her daughter. And for those readers hoping for it, the name Joan Crawford is mentioned once. These stories aren’t intended to undermine Davis’ privacy, but rather illustrate how the bond between Davis and Sermak was strengthened during Davis’ final decade. After B.D.’s betrayal, loyalty was paramount to Davis and the devotion Sermak showed was never forgotten by the screen legend, or those connected to her inner circle. Davis’ son Michael gave his support to both Sermak and the book, as did a number of Davis’ long-time friends like Robert Wagner and Olivia de Havilland.
Sermak both loved and admired Davis but does not sugarcoat her recollections of the actress. Davis’ mission to shape Sermak into a confident professional is, at times, cringeworthy but Sermak took it in stride and her willingness to learn from Davis is admirable. Sermak went on to work as a personal assistant for a number of high profile personalities including Motown founder Berry Gordy, astronaut Buzz Aldrin and actress Isabelle Adjani, proving that Davis’ tutelage was not in vain.
The Bette Davis featured in this book is multi-dimensional: alternately funny, stubborn, domineering, wise, heartbreaking, inspiring and always fascinating. Davis, no doubt, changed Sermak’s life, and the book is a testament to Sermak’s admiration for her beloved Miss D, as well as the eternal appeal of the extraordinary Bette Davis.
Reviewed by Nicholas Beyelia, Librarian
September 25, 2017
What a lovely book. This is not a biography but rather a memoir written by the woman who was Davis's personal assistant/companion/surrogate daughter in the 1980s. Sermak's memories are a touching tribute to Davis, who in the course of the book evolves from a confident, demanding employer to weakened, elderly woman battling cancer and loneliness.
I appreciated that Sermak does not shy away from the grittier side of Davis -- her ability to lash out when angered, her pouting sulkiness when hurt or afraid, and her demanding nature. Those qualities, which you can see in Davis's films, give her vulnerable moments greater depth and resonance, just as they do in her movie roles.
Sermak clearly loved Davis and that shows as well. You see over and over Davis's generosity -- helping Sermak prepare for a college dance, teaching her how to dress and how to sit, loaning her cars and arranging gifts. The story of their drive through France, avoiding highways and stopping wherever the road led them, is both delightful and poignant.
For all the depth of their relationship, Sermak doesn't try to paint hagiography. Rather, we get to see Miss D as a wonderfully complex person: confident, easily wounded, generous, battle-ready, emotional and always fascianting.
I actually welled up with tears at the end, which rarely happens when I'm reading. That's maybe the best tribute of all.
Having seen Bette Davis through Sermak's eyes, it would be difficult for me to imagine anyone understanding or appreciating her without the context of this loving tribute.
I appreciated that Sermak does not shy away from the grittier side of Davis -- her ability to lash out when angered, her pouting sulkiness when hurt or afraid, and her demanding nature. Those qualities, which you can see in Davis's films, give her vulnerable moments greater depth and resonance, just as they do in her movie roles.
Sermak clearly loved Davis and that shows as well. You see over and over Davis's generosity -- helping Sermak prepare for a college dance, teaching her how to dress and how to sit, loaning her cars and arranging gifts. The story of their drive through France, avoiding highways and stopping wherever the road led them, is both delightful and poignant.
For all the depth of their relationship, Sermak doesn't try to paint hagiography. Rather, we get to see Miss D as a wonderfully complex person: confident, easily wounded, generous, battle-ready, emotional and always fascianting.
I actually welled up with tears at the end, which rarely happens when I'm reading. That's maybe the best tribute of all.
Having seen Bette Davis through Sermak's eyes, it would be difficult for me to imagine anyone understanding or appreciating her without the context of this loving tribute.
March 9, 2018
I am abit biasen since Bette Davis is My favourite actress.
What I do not like about this book is that it is to detailed. Like What the writer and BD had for dinner every time. (with BD I mean Bette Davis herself, not BD her daughter)
It was interesting to Know How BD was as a person when she was in her seventies and eighties.
The writer does not give a positive Portrait of BD ’s son in law, Jeremy Hyman. Neither does BD’s daughter. I Will later read her daughter’s book, since it is mentioned in this book. I like it is because it is neither gloryfying or vilyfaing,
What I do not like about this book is that it is to detailed. Like What the writer and BD had for dinner every time. (with BD I mean Bette Davis herself, not BD her daughter)
It was interesting to Know How BD was as a person when she was in her seventies and eighties.
The writer does not give a positive Portrait of BD ’s son in law, Jeremy Hyman. Neither does BD’s daughter. I Will later read her daughter’s book, since it is mentioned in this book. I like it is because it is neither gloryfying or vilyfaing,
December 10, 2017
This is a special book and I am so grateful to Kathryn Sermak for writing it. I knew I would get emotional reading it but I did not anticipate to be the sobbing mess I was. I am deeply moved by her love and respect for “Miss D” and the gentle, discreet way in which she pays homage to her mentor, someone who shaped her at a very early age into the woman she is today. I can picture her going through her diaries, polaroid albums and tape recordings, trying to find the right words to express what those ten years meant to her. I don’t care if it took her almost 30 years to write it, I’m so glad she eventually shared her experience with all of us. I felt I was right there in Bette’s apartment, learning how to walk, talk, eat (yes, I did press my back against the wall to check if my posture is correct – and it is not) or in the backseat of the car during their road trip in the French countryside, mistaking cheese names for actual locations.
I’m probably biased and oversensitive about anything concerning Bette - tell me how she unexpectedly held your hand or cooked pancakes and I will cry for days - but I think everyone will be touched by this book because it’s essentially about giving and receiving: how much the young can learn from someone older and wiser, and how important it is to value and remember it, especially in hard times when roles can suddenly switch and you might find yourself being needed in return.
Bette had the ability to recognize the potential in people: she saw something in Kathryn and decided to hire her and nurture that potential. She took her under her wing and gave her precious life lessons, things she had learned “the hard way” that she was more than willing to share with someone who would listen. Granted it was not an easy task to be Bette Davis’ assistant, she was a perfectionist and expected nothing less that excellence - from others and herself - but what a gift to have such a mentor. I was always amazed by how young Kathryn was when she began working for her, she struck me as a very confident, poised, mature woman and to think she owns part of that to Bette is impressive. We should all be so lucky to have someone teaching us how to face the world gracefully and at the same time not let anyone push us around.
I know Bette was far more generous, considerate and vulnerable than what people give her credit for and it's nice to have yet further proof of it. I loved reading about a more personal and domestic side of her. I find her good manners and courtesy enchanting – paying attention to every single flower arrangement received so that she could send personalized thank you notes and make each single person feel special and appreciated – little things that make me realize how barbarian we have become. I’m also stunned by the amount of effort she put in order to please her family, always wanting to provide the best for them, and how her children never even suspected (and thus acknowledged) her hard work, or noticed how heartbroken she would be when things didn’t go as planned. It is particularly sad to read how much she loved B.D. and how she’d sparkled everytime her daughter showed some kind of appreciation, which was all she really wanted.
Bette treasured her independence fiercely and it was a hard blow to come to terms with her debilitated condition after the stroke and having to depend on someone else, but lucky for her she had a loyal assistant who did not leave her when she needed her the most and who stood by her side until the end. She eventually came to regard Kathryn as a daughter and friend and the gratitude and affection she showed her is heart-warming. To know that Bette herself asked Kathryn to write about their time together makes this book even more special and I'm so grateful she eventually kept her promise. I'm sure Bette would be proud of it, and she would also be happy to know that there are still people who care about her and new legions of fans admiring her work and legacy. I like to imagine her, wherever she is, smoking a cigarette and looking down at us with a pleased smirk on her face.
I’m probably biased and oversensitive about anything concerning Bette - tell me how she unexpectedly held your hand or cooked pancakes and I will cry for days - but I think everyone will be touched by this book because it’s essentially about giving and receiving: how much the young can learn from someone older and wiser, and how important it is to value and remember it, especially in hard times when roles can suddenly switch and you might find yourself being needed in return.
Bette had the ability to recognize the potential in people: she saw something in Kathryn and decided to hire her and nurture that potential. She took her under her wing and gave her precious life lessons, things she had learned “the hard way” that she was more than willing to share with someone who would listen. Granted it was not an easy task to be Bette Davis’ assistant, she was a perfectionist and expected nothing less that excellence - from others and herself - but what a gift to have such a mentor. I was always amazed by how young Kathryn was when she began working for her, she struck me as a very confident, poised, mature woman and to think she owns part of that to Bette is impressive. We should all be so lucky to have someone teaching us how to face the world gracefully and at the same time not let anyone push us around.
I know Bette was far more generous, considerate and vulnerable than what people give her credit for and it's nice to have yet further proof of it. I loved reading about a more personal and domestic side of her. I find her good manners and courtesy enchanting – paying attention to every single flower arrangement received so that she could send personalized thank you notes and make each single person feel special and appreciated – little things that make me realize how barbarian we have become. I’m also stunned by the amount of effort she put in order to please her family, always wanting to provide the best for them, and how her children never even suspected (and thus acknowledged) her hard work, or noticed how heartbroken she would be when things didn’t go as planned. It is particularly sad to read how much she loved B.D. and how she’d sparkled everytime her daughter showed some kind of appreciation, which was all she really wanted.
Bette treasured her independence fiercely and it was a hard blow to come to terms with her debilitated condition after the stroke and having to depend on someone else, but lucky for her she had a loyal assistant who did not leave her when she needed her the most and who stood by her side until the end. She eventually came to regard Kathryn as a daughter and friend and the gratitude and affection she showed her is heart-warming. To know that Bette herself asked Kathryn to write about their time together makes this book even more special and I'm so grateful she eventually kept her promise. I'm sure Bette would be proud of it, and she would also be happy to know that there are still people who care about her and new legions of fans admiring her work and legacy. I like to imagine her, wherever she is, smoking a cigarette and looking down at us with a pleased smirk on her face.
September 19, 2017
There are more than a dozen full-length biographies devoted to volatile two-time Oscar-winning actress Bette Davis (1908-1989), but none offer the up-close and personal view of Davis's final decade as Kathryn Sermak's engaging, outrageous and heartfelt memoir MISS D & ME. Davis hired the 23-year-old Sermak as her personal assistant in 1979, and immediately lived up to her difficult reputation. She started retraining Sermak on how to walk, talk, eat, dress and act in public. Davis even convinced her to change the spelling of her name from Catherine to Kathryn. On their first trip abroad, fire alarms forced the two to evacuate their hotel, but Davis insisted that Sermak run back in--not to save her family photos or passport, but her cigarettes.
After a rocky start, the two developed a friendship. Sermak's devotion helped Davis through some devastating health crises. In 1983, Davis's breast cancer diagnosis resulted in a mastectomy. Nine days later, Davis suffered a major stroke, paralyzing her left side and slurring her speech. Although Sermak describes Davis as "a fighter, a champion, and a bon vivant--and always a survivor," the road back from her debilitating stroke was long and hard fought. "No heartache or tragedy... had ever thrown her into such hopelessness," writes Sermak. Then came the betrayal of Davis's daughter's scathing tell-all book.
Sermak's affectionate, intimate and clear-eyed memoir lucidly explores Davis's conflicting actions and emotions as an actress who often put work above relationships--to her personal detriment. Film buffs will appreciate discovering new shadings to the movie icon.
In this affectionate, outrageous and intimate portrait, Bette Davis's personal assistant recalls the Hollywood legend's final decade.
After a rocky start, the two developed a friendship. Sermak's devotion helped Davis through some devastating health crises. In 1983, Davis's breast cancer diagnosis resulted in a mastectomy. Nine days later, Davis suffered a major stroke, paralyzing her left side and slurring her speech. Although Sermak describes Davis as "a fighter, a champion, and a bon vivant--and always a survivor," the road back from her debilitating stroke was long and hard fought. "No heartache or tragedy... had ever thrown her into such hopelessness," writes Sermak. Then came the betrayal of Davis's daughter's scathing tell-all book.
Sermak's affectionate, intimate and clear-eyed memoir lucidly explores Davis's conflicting actions and emotions as an actress who often put work above relationships--to her personal detriment. Film buffs will appreciate discovering new shadings to the movie icon.
In this affectionate, outrageous and intimate portrait, Bette Davis's personal assistant recalls the Hollywood legend's final decade.
August 14, 2017
I love the old Hollywood movies. In my opinion, they're better than today's movies. And I love reading about the old stars. Bette Davis held top position for many years, and even after her prime had past, she never shied away from other roles, as did some of the other stars of the age. No one wanted the public to see them aging, but not Bette Davis. She acted in many roles that showed her age, movies like Hush Hush, Sweet Charlotte and Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. She acted up until nearly the end of her life, too, the last role, I believe, being The Whales of August.
I recently saw an old episode of The Johnny Carson show where she was a guest just months before her death from cancer. She was as regal as ever, sharp as a tack and just awesome! Davis suffered breast cancer, a severe stroke from which she was not expected to recover, spending months in the hospital. Then, years later, her cancer returned and was so virulent, nothing could sway it.
This book is written by her personal assistant the last years of her life. The person who knew her best. Davis's daughter was estranged from her and the author was with her more than anyone else. It's wonderful to see Davis in action behind the scenes, as sit were. She really was regal in many ways, even to the point of playing a queen in her career. She was dignified even as she lay dying, too. This book is poignant in parts. I really enjoyed hearing more about a true Hollywood legend.
*I received a preview copy of this book from the publisher via Net Galley. My opinion is my own entirely.
I recently saw an old episode of The Johnny Carson show where she was a guest just months before her death from cancer. She was as regal as ever, sharp as a tack and just awesome! Davis suffered breast cancer, a severe stroke from which she was not expected to recover, spending months in the hospital. Then, years later, her cancer returned and was so virulent, nothing could sway it.
This book is written by her personal assistant the last years of her life. The person who knew her best. Davis's daughter was estranged from her and the author was with her more than anyone else. It's wonderful to see Davis in action behind the scenes, as sit were. She really was regal in many ways, even to the point of playing a queen in her career. She was dignified even as she lay dying, too. This book is poignant in parts. I really enjoyed hearing more about a true Hollywood legend.
*I received a preview copy of this book from the publisher via Net Galley. My opinion is my own entirely.
October 20, 2022
For a whopping fifty cents, I bought this hardcover at my local Catholic thrift store, and it is well worth it. I do not think that this book was ever cracked open, let alone read by anyone else; it is as if I bought it fresh from the printer.
The author was hired by actress Bette Davis to be her personal assistant, and thus began a professional relationship and later, a personal relationship between the two.
Davis gave the author (Kathryn Sermak) important lessons in etiquette, grooming, dress, and posture, which is not only a rightly kind gesture by Davis to improve Sermak’s self, but that also was self-serving for Davis, since Sermak represented Davis at the high level it should be.
I enjoyed reading the first-hand accounts by Bette Davis' Girl Friday, Kathryn Sermak. It appears to be genuine, honest, and although a bit smug, immature, and whiny, it does come across well, nevertheless. It deserves re-reading at another time.
Bette Davis is a person I would have liked to get to know, and this book leads in that direction. She is among my most favorite actresses.
📖 Book version.
📖 I own this book.
The author was hired by actress Bette Davis to be her personal assistant, and thus began a professional relationship and later, a personal relationship between the two.
Davis gave the author (Kathryn Sermak) important lessons in etiquette, grooming, dress, and posture, which is not only a rightly kind gesture by Davis to improve Sermak’s self, but that also was self-serving for Davis, since Sermak represented Davis at the high level it should be.
I enjoyed reading the first-hand accounts by Bette Davis' Girl Friday, Kathryn Sermak. It appears to be genuine, honest, and although a bit smug, immature, and whiny, it does come across well, nevertheless. It deserves re-reading at another time.
Bette Davis is a person I would have liked to get to know, and this book leads in that direction. She is among my most favorite actresses.
📖 Book version.
📖 I own this book.
September 22, 2017
I was introduced to Bette Davis’ movies when I was a preteen. My mother, an avid viewer of the old black and white movies, sat me down and we watched “Jezebel”. When Bette Davis walked into the party in the red dress, I thought to myself “This is a cool woman”. After that she was that femme fatale character in my mind. I just knew this was actually how Ms. Davis was in real life. After reading this bio I wasn’t too off the mark.
Ms. Davis was a force to be reckoned with. She commanded an audience and expected to be treated like the Hollywood Royalty she was. She had one of the most successful acting careers that is unrivaled by few. Then to get a peek into how late in her life when she should be enjoying the fruitage of her hard work, she was brought down by a tell-all book by her daughter Bede.
This is an intimate look at the final days of the iconic star as told by her personal assistant. This book is very eye opening and projects Ms. Davis was a rock but also a delicate flower at times. I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir and wold strongly recommend it to all.
Ms. Davis was a force to be reckoned with. She commanded an audience and expected to be treated like the Hollywood Royalty she was. She had one of the most successful acting careers that is unrivaled by few. Then to get a peek into how late in her life when she should be enjoying the fruitage of her hard work, she was brought down by a tell-all book by her daughter Bede.
This is an intimate look at the final days of the iconic star as told by her personal assistant. This book is very eye opening and projects Ms. Davis was a rock but also a delicate flower at times. I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir and wold strongly recommend it to all.
March 2, 2018
This is a very good book about the late actress Bette Davis and her Girl-Friday and friend Kathryn Sermak. I've read a lot about Bette Davis in other books but I learned more interesting things about her that I'd never read before from this book. Bette and Kathryn had a marvelous time together. Highly recommended by Julian!
January 5, 2018
A biography of Bette Davis, as told by her personal assistant and great friend for the last ten years of her life. So intimate and tenderly written, it was a joy to hear stories told by Kathryn, who obviously loved her a great deal.
September 26, 2024
todas as páginas desse livro são preenchidas por amor. esse é um livro genuíno e sensível, sobre a conexão de duas pessoas fantásticas, durante o último estágio da vida da grande bette davis.
April 2, 2021
Lovely to read a biography on Ms. Davis that was written by somebody who knew her well, especially in her later years.
The best part for me was how this young lady was trained by Bette to do things a certain way, even down to her personal mannerisms. It was a fascinating glimpse into her private life and how she chose to live it. I think we could all learn something from her teachings.
This showed me the other side of the actress. Sure she was known for being stubborn and demanding a lot from those around her but she was also a woman who tried to live her life with a lot of integrity and caring. This gave a much more fleshed out version of a real woman.
What was most fascinating to me was to see the other side of her relation with BD. The author had a glimpse into to this that few had. To learn some of the things that her daughter did made Bette come out far less like the villain and a little like a victim. All I had read about this conflict up to now was in her daughter's scathing book, which was just a cash in on Mommie Dearest. After seeing Bette's side I really feel like her daughter was more of the villain here.
A quick and enjoyable read. I finished it feeling like I had even more admiration for one of my favorite actresses.
The best part for me was how this young lady was trained by Bette to do things a certain way, even down to her personal mannerisms. It was a fascinating glimpse into her private life and how she chose to live it. I think we could all learn something from her teachings.
This showed me the other side of the actress. Sure she was known for being stubborn and demanding a lot from those around her but she was also a woman who tried to live her life with a lot of integrity and caring. This gave a much more fleshed out version of a real woman.
What was most fascinating to me was to see the other side of her relation with BD. The author had a glimpse into to this that few had. To learn some of the things that her daughter did made Bette come out far less like the villain and a little like a victim. All I had read about this conflict up to now was in her daughter's scathing book, which was just a cash in on Mommie Dearest. After seeing Bette's side I really feel like her daughter was more of the villain here.
A quick and enjoyable read. I finished it feeling like I had even more admiration for one of my favorite actresses.
August 22, 2017
I would give this an almost five. I was a lucky goodreads giveaway winner of this well written book. I tend to be a bit cautious when I read a book that is written about a famous person. Bette Davis of course is a very famous movie star. Kathryn Sermak was Bette Davis's assistant over ten years. She got to now Bette Davis the last ten years of her life. I would not want to read a book that was meant to be a "mud sling" against someone. I am happy to say this is a wonderful homage to Bette Davis. Kathryn and Miss Davis went for employee employer to close friends. Ms. Sermak is honest about Bette Davis but never mean spirited. For example Bette Davis has always been known to be strong spirited and out spoken and we see this Bette Davis in the book. but Kathryn writes about how Ms.Davis taught her to be a better person along the way. A very good read and touching tribute to a talented lady.
July 5, 2018
I've been waiting for this book to come out for months, preordered on Amazon and was so excited to have it show up in my mailbox on its release day. I was not disappointed! It's not often we get to read new information on our favorite classic film stars, and this book was such a treat! I had recently read This 'n That, and got a taste of Kath's view in one of the chapters in that book. I enjoyed seeing this side of Bette Davis so much- her very particular ways of life that I didn't realize until now. When Kath moved out of her house, she shared her last moments and conversation in Bette's home and a letter that Bette wrote to her immediately after- they both moved me to tears! I haven't devoured a book this quickly in a long time. This is a book that I will be so happy to have on my bookshelf for years to come. I am grateful that Kathryn has shared this story with us and if it is possible, I love Bette Davis even more.
May 10, 2019
What a terrible book. Written by someone who is a horrid author. I could not get into it. Yuck. What a prima donna. Some say great actress - I am not among her admirers. She put much work into her preparation for a role but was so demanding of this personal assistant. She even "suggested" she change the spelling of her 1st name. Who do we think we are???
August 16, 2017
A lovely and fascinating look at the last ten years of Bette Davis life through the eyes fo her friend and companion Katherine Sermak. Bette Davis was tough, smart, demanding and charming and this book shows all those qualities and more, a wonderful read.
September 3, 2025
MISS D & ME: Life with the Invincible Bette Davis is a very endearing and engrossing story of the decade long relationship that developed between the author and the great actress Bette Davis.
In 1979, Kathryn Sermak was 22, a university graduate recently returned from Europe, where she had worked as au pair for a family in Biarritz and later as an au pair for the grandchildren of a famous French ballet dancer, Madame Sandrini. Sermak had also worked for an Iranian princess. It was through June Art, an employment agency that catered to the stars, that she responded to an advertisement placed by Bette Davis for a personal assistant. The book describes the interview Sermak had with Bette Davis, which was direct and to the point. Here is how Sermak describes parts of the interview ---
"She [Bette Davis] paused, smiled, and then leaned forward a little, slightly more instensely, 'And what do you know about the film industry?'
" 'Nothing,' I said. 'I don't know anything about it, I'm afraid.'
"... 'No, that's good [came the reply]. I will teach you everything you need to know.'
" 'You're hired, Catherine,' Miss Davis said. 'I have a hunch about you.' "
That meeting marked the start of what would develop over the next 6 years that Sermak worked for Bette Davis (whom she came to refer to, with affection, as 'Miss D') from that of employer/employee, to that of protégé/mentor, to the best and closest of friends.
The chapter that deals with the struggles that Bette Davis went through as a result of the stroke in 1983 that nearly killed her, and Sermak's unstinting care and support she gave her, was especially touching. And even after Sermak had left Davis' employ to pursue a career in Paris, both women kept in close touch with one another, forming an indissoluble bond that lasted until Bette Davis' death in October 1989.
Miss D & Me is one of the most life-affirming and heartwarming books I've read in quite a while. It has several photos, many of which were taken during the course of Sermak's time as Bette Davis' special assistant. This is a book I recommend to anyone in search of a story that attests to the specialness of a personal bond that blossomed into a close and personal bond between 2 people, spanning generations.
In 1979, Kathryn Sermak was 22, a university graduate recently returned from Europe, where she had worked as au pair for a family in Biarritz and later as an au pair for the grandchildren of a famous French ballet dancer, Madame Sandrini. Sermak had also worked for an Iranian princess. It was through June Art, an employment agency that catered to the stars, that she responded to an advertisement placed by Bette Davis for a personal assistant. The book describes the interview Sermak had with Bette Davis, which was direct and to the point. Here is how Sermak describes parts of the interview ---
"She [Bette Davis] paused, smiled, and then leaned forward a little, slightly more instensely, 'And what do you know about the film industry?'
" 'Nothing,' I said. 'I don't know anything about it, I'm afraid.'
"... 'No, that's good [came the reply]. I will teach you everything you need to know.'
" 'You're hired, Catherine,' Miss Davis said. 'I have a hunch about you.' "
That meeting marked the start of what would develop over the next 6 years that Sermak worked for Bette Davis (whom she came to refer to, with affection, as 'Miss D') from that of employer/employee, to that of protégé/mentor, to the best and closest of friends.
The chapter that deals with the struggles that Bette Davis went through as a result of the stroke in 1983 that nearly killed her, and Sermak's unstinting care and support she gave her, was especially touching. And even after Sermak had left Davis' employ to pursue a career in Paris, both women kept in close touch with one another, forming an indissoluble bond that lasted until Bette Davis' death in October 1989.
Miss D & Me is one of the most life-affirming and heartwarming books I've read in quite a while. It has several photos, many of which were taken during the course of Sermak's time as Bette Davis' special assistant. This is a book I recommend to anyone in search of a story that attests to the specialness of a personal bond that blossomed into a close and personal bond between 2 people, spanning generations.
September 27, 2025
It took Kathryn Sermak, the last personal assistant of film icon Bette Davis, decades to write this book, but I'm glad she finally got it out there. The job was a good one.
'Miss D and Me' is the story of two very different women, a tale of a surprising friendship despite a considerable age gap, and an insight into the character of a very complex and talented individual. In it, she talks about how their friendship was formed, all of the things Davis taught her, and all the horrible things that happened to her boss towards the end of her life. Least of all, a far-from-kind book written by her so-called daughter (whom I won't name as the woman has always enjoyed the fleeting fame, all of the back of 'mother', of course), who thought Davis was going to die. But she didn't, and she bravely carried on working after overcoming her stroke and that terrible betrayal.
Unlike her daughter's trashy and in many parts largely discredited book, this one offers a much more balanced view of the great actress. Kathryn isn't shy about discussing the more negative aspects of Bette Davis' character (can you really think of one human being who doesn't have any of those?), but is quick to illustrate the positives: her generosity and kindness, her caring demeanour, and fighting spirit. I think Davis would have been proud.
The author talks much about her personal life throughout, and I did find some of that to be much less interesting than the Davis side, but I still read it all, and quickly came to respect her a lot. She calls Davis' daughter out, but this is not the story of the ungrateful one and her late husband, who comes over just as badly as he did in James Spada's excellent Davis biography, 'More Than a Woman' (I highly recommend that one!) This is a moving and intimate account of two friends' journey together through the good times and bad. The tears streamed down my face when reading the final pages of Bette's demise.
As a Bette Davis fan, I greedily would have liked to have read even more anecdotes and had more photographs, as great as the ones in 'Miss D and Me' are, but no matter, this is a lovely book written by, in the words of Joan Rivers, ''an incredible woman.'' Thank you, Kathryn, for making this public. If you like Bette Davis, this is simply a must-read, but if you're just looking for a heart-warming buddy story, then it is just as worthwhile for that aspect.
'Miss D and Me' is the story of two very different women, a tale of a surprising friendship despite a considerable age gap, and an insight into the character of a very complex and talented individual. In it, she talks about how their friendship was formed, all of the things Davis taught her, and all the horrible things that happened to her boss towards the end of her life. Least of all, a far-from-kind book written by her so-called daughter (whom I won't name as the woman has always enjoyed the fleeting fame, all of the back of 'mother', of course), who thought Davis was going to die. But she didn't, and she bravely carried on working after overcoming her stroke and that terrible betrayal.
Unlike her daughter's trashy and in many parts largely discredited book, this one offers a much more balanced view of the great actress. Kathryn isn't shy about discussing the more negative aspects of Bette Davis' character (can you really think of one human being who doesn't have any of those?), but is quick to illustrate the positives: her generosity and kindness, her caring demeanour, and fighting spirit. I think Davis would have been proud.
The author talks much about her personal life throughout, and I did find some of that to be much less interesting than the Davis side, but I still read it all, and quickly came to respect her a lot. She calls Davis' daughter out, but this is not the story of the ungrateful one and her late husband, who comes over just as badly as he did in James Spada's excellent Davis biography, 'More Than a Woman' (I highly recommend that one!) This is a moving and intimate account of two friends' journey together through the good times and bad. The tears streamed down my face when reading the final pages of Bette's demise.
As a Bette Davis fan, I greedily would have liked to have read even more anecdotes and had more photographs, as great as the ones in 'Miss D and Me' are, but no matter, this is a lovely book written by, in the words of Joan Rivers, ''an incredible woman.'' Thank you, Kathryn, for making this public. If you like Bette Davis, this is simply a must-read, but if you're just looking for a heart-warming buddy story, then it is just as worthwhile for that aspect.
August 14, 2021
Wonderful book, a fast read — I’ve been getting acquainted with Bette Davis’s early films and finding I wanted to know her better. This book happened to be on an end cap the public library, and I’m so glad I picked it up. A glimpse into her final years, this book captures the indomitable spirit of Bette Davis. I highly recommend it.
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