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GERIATRIC ZOMBIES!!!
Randall just wanted to have a fun summer vacation with his family, visiting Grandma at her cabin on a lake in the Wisconsin Northwoods.
Then everything went horribly wrong.
Join fifteen-year-old Randall, and his younger brother Josh, as they fight for their lives on the eve of an elderly undead apocalypse.
Grandma?
She won't bake you cookies...
Forget everything you've ever read about zombies. But that's probably impossible, because you know you've read a lot. So maybe just put aside your preconceptions, because this living dead epic will make you remember why you fell in love with this genre in the first place. Part scary, part funny, this is a living dead Armageddon like you've never seen before.
Randall just wanted to have a fun summer vacation with his family, visiting Grandma at her cabin on a lake in the Wisconsin Northwoods.
Then everything went horribly wrong.
Join fifteen-year-old Randall, and his younger brother Josh, as they fight for their lives on the eve of an elderly undead apocalypse.
Grandma?
She won't bake you cookies...
Forget everything you've ever read about zombies. But that's probably impossible, because you know you've read a lot. So maybe just put aside your preconceptions, because this living dead epic will make you remember why you fell in love with this genre in the first place. Part scary, part funny, this is a living dead Armageddon like you've never seen before.
246 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 1, 2013
175 people are currently reading
338 people want to read
About the author
J.A. Konrath
200 books3,018 followersJoe Konrath has written over twenty novels in the Lt. Jacqueline "Jack" Daniels thriller series. They do not have to be read chronologically to be enjoyed, but the order is: Whiskey Sour, Bloody Mary, Rusty Nail, Dirty Martini, Shot of Tequila, Fuzzy Navel, Cherry Bomb, Dead On My Feet, Serial Killers Uncut (with Blake Crouch), Shaken, Stirred (with Blake Crouch), Dying Breath, Everybody Dies, Rum Runner, Last Call, White Russian, Shot Girl, Chaser, Old Fashioned, Bite Force, and Witch Brew. More coming soon.
Wow, that's a lot of Jack.
If you like your thrillers on the dark side, check out the Konrath Dark Thriller Collective, which includes the books The List, Origin, Afraid, Trapped, Endurance, Haunted House, Webcam, Disturb, What Happened To Lori, The Nine, Second Coming, and Close Your Eyes.
Joe also wrote the Stop A Murder mystery puzzle series, where you become the sleuth and solve brain teasers to try and catch a killer.
He also wrote the sci-fi trilogy, Timecaster, Timecaster Supersymmetry, and Timecaster Steampunk. Even if you don't think you like sci-fi, give them a try. They feature Joe's well-known characters from his other series, and are insane.
With Ann Voss Peterson he wrote the Codename: Chandler thrillers, including Flee, Spree, Three, Hit, Exposed, Naughty, Fix (with F. Paul Wilson), Rescue, and Free.
And, finally, he writes erotica under the pen name Melinda DuChamp, also with Ann Voss Peterson. Those books are probably too spicy for you, so only the brave and bold should seek them out.
Joe writes a lot. You should probably read everything.
You can visit Joe and sign up for his newsletter at www.JAKonrath.com/mailing-list.php
Wow, that's a lot of Jack.
If you like your thrillers on the dark side, check out the Konrath Dark Thriller Collective, which includes the books The List, Origin, Afraid, Trapped, Endurance, Haunted House, Webcam, Disturb, What Happened To Lori, The Nine, Second Coming, and Close Your Eyes.
Joe also wrote the Stop A Murder mystery puzzle series, where you become the sleuth and solve brain teasers to try and catch a killer.
He also wrote the sci-fi trilogy, Timecaster, Timecaster Supersymmetry, and Timecaster Steampunk. Even if you don't think you like sci-fi, give them a try. They feature Joe's well-known characters from his other series, and are insane.
With Ann Voss Peterson he wrote the Codename: Chandler thrillers, including Flee, Spree, Three, Hit, Exposed, Naughty, Fix (with F. Paul Wilson), Rescue, and Free.
And, finally, he writes erotica under the pen name Melinda DuChamp, also with Ann Voss Peterson. Those books are probably too spicy for you, so only the brave and bold should seek them out.
Joe writes a lot. You should probably read everything.
You can visit Joe and sign up for his newsletter at www.JAKonrath.com/mailing-list.php
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
August 5, 2016
Very good short, don't skip the intro :)
Tense moments and some humor that got me to laugh out loud, I'd recommend to everyone - zombie fan or not.
Tense moments and some humor that got me to laugh out loud, I'd recommend to everyone - zombie fan or not.
March 19, 2017
Let me go ahead and clear this up before we get deeper into this review, this is, by no means, any type of literary masterpiece. *wink*
But it was a really fun read and I laughed, A LOT. This book was actually written by J.A. Konrath's high school age son, Talon. I'm all for supporting new authors. If you want something fun and light, give it a try.
But it was a really fun read and I laughed, A LOT. This book was actually written by J.A. Konrath's high school age son, Talon. I'm all for supporting new authors. If you want something fun and light, give it a try.
February 14, 2017
Like father, like son
lol...
Okay... I just had to give this a 5 star rating because these two are such a blast (btw... I was howling at the sarcasm on the "amazing bad movies" blog). I mean, c'mon, geriatric zombies and Einstein, the dim-witted 64 year old so-called brilliant mind? I also had to agree with both Talon and Joe.... although the idea of a super gory version of this story would have been awesome (think "Draculas"), I do believed dad won with his less is more theory for this tale. So, here is to getting more great stories from son and father.... just hope it doesn't take them years this time. I can't wait!
lol...
Okay... I just had to give this a 5 star rating because these two are such a blast (btw... I was howling at the sarcasm on the "amazing bad movies" blog). I mean, c'mon, geriatric zombies and Einstein, the dim-witted 64 year old so-called brilliant mind? I also had to agree with both Talon and Joe.... although the idea of a super gory version of this story would have been awesome (think "Draculas"), I do believed dad won with his less is more theory for this tale. So, here is to getting more great stories from son and father.... just hope it doesn't take them years this time. I can't wait!
May 28, 2015
This book is the first in a series. Its YA horror. J.A. Konrath is one of my faves for horror and his kid wrote this (with some editing and unspecified amount of help from dad). The kid's got some chops.
It's really enjoyable. A couple youngsters are left alone at home with grandma when the zombie apocalypse breaks out.
The zombies are a bit talkative compared to most zombie stories but you know what, that's fine. It's about time someone threw a curve in the expected zombie story. The zombies - two elderly folks - are freaking hysterical. When the kids start debating religion at one point I had to question if it was something a kid would actually say but then when I remembered that this was written by a youngster I just adjusted my idea of what a kid thinks about upward. Either way the protagonist kids are fun and utterly believable.
The fact that grandma keeps losing her teeth while trying to bite people almost made me spew my drink.
I wonder if maybe it's the proper time for geriatric zombies? After all I found this story not long after writing and releasing my own story: Gray Walkers which is a tale of the Geriatric Apocalypse. Maybe I and the Konraths are onto something.
It's clean enough and low enough on the gore meter (none outside mentioning blood and some wounds) to let younger kids enjoy a zombie story like big brother or sister.
I personally probably won't read more in the series only because it's aimed at the Young Adult market and I really don't grok that as well as more adult literature. But I would recommend this to anyone who is a fan of YA or has young teens wanting to sink their teeth into something fun.
It's really enjoyable. A couple youngsters are left alone at home with grandma when the zombie apocalypse breaks out.
The zombies are a bit talkative compared to most zombie stories but you know what, that's fine. It's about time someone threw a curve in the expected zombie story. The zombies - two elderly folks - are freaking hysterical. When the kids start debating religion at one point I had to question if it was something a kid would actually say but then when I remembered that this was written by a youngster I just adjusted my idea of what a kid thinks about upward. Either way the protagonist kids are fun and utterly believable.
The fact that grandma keeps losing her teeth while trying to bite people almost made me spew my drink.
I wonder if maybe it's the proper time for geriatric zombies? After all I found this story not long after writing and releasing my own story: Gray Walkers which is a tale of the Geriatric Apocalypse. Maybe I and the Konraths are onto something.
It's clean enough and low enough on the gore meter (none outside mentioning blood and some wounds) to let younger kids enjoy a zombie story like big brother or sister.
I personally probably won't read more in the series only because it's aimed at the Young Adult market and I really don't grok that as well as more adult literature. But I would recommend this to anyone who is a fan of YA or has young teens wanting to sink their teeth into something fun.
May 23, 2017
Ok, yes, if you really want to be a tool and be that one person who has to complain about how stupid this book is, go ahead, and vent, because, honestly, I'll agree with you. Yes, Grandma? is dumb, stupid, and totally ridiculous. Yes, it lacks any kind of literary merit, originality, or even much in the way of writing skill. Yes, I know its about ambulatory, intelligent, geriatric zombies. I get it. its pretty idiotic and juvenile.
But you know what? I'm totally ok with that because while I do agree that Grandma? was far, far, far, away from any kind of deep, meaningful or insiteful reading, I sure as hell had a lot of fun reading it.
You see, in this day and age of pretentious authors who think their overwrought and unnecessary drivel of an author means something, there are still others out there who write just for the everlasting fun of it. They write because they enjoy the art of writing. They write to have fun.
It's pretty obvious that Grandma? is just that kind of book. Konrath and his son clearly went ahead and wrote this book about old, shambling zombies because it was just a fun thing to do. Not only for the pure enjoyment, but also as an experiment in father/son bonding. Personally, I thought the book they came up with turned out great.
It's stupid, but at least it's stupid fun.
But you know what? I'm totally ok with that because while I do agree that Grandma? was far, far, far, away from any kind of deep, meaningful or insiteful reading, I sure as hell had a lot of fun reading it.
You see, in this day and age of pretentious authors who think their overwrought and unnecessary drivel of an author means something, there are still others out there who write just for the everlasting fun of it. They write because they enjoy the art of writing. They write to have fun.
It's pretty obvious that Grandma? is just that kind of book. Konrath and his son clearly went ahead and wrote this book about old, shambling zombies because it was just a fun thing to do. Not only for the pure enjoyment, but also as an experiment in father/son bonding. Personally, I thought the book they came up with turned out great.
It's stupid, but at least it's stupid fun.
September 15, 2013
This was a quick read for me, I absolutely loved it. A fun Y/A read. Randall just wanted a fun summer vacation with his younger brother Josh. They had gone with their parents to the Wisconsin North woods to visit Grandma at her cabin on the lake, but something went horribly wrong while Grandma was gardening, and now she is one of the un dead a Zombie and they are running for there lives. For the elderly are all part of the undead nation. And they are hungry! Plenty of action and interesting characters . I can,t wait for book two of the series.Great book to read before Halloween.
January 18, 2017
I didn't even see it coming!
J.A. Konrath is just about my favorite author..so i was quick to snatch this up! I didn't even realize it was co-written with his son...or that it was a zombie novel! It was so different from what i expected,but i was easily sucked in,and couldn't put it down once i started. I also had no idea it was a YA novel, but i would recommend it to anyone who likes a good laugh along with their scares! I look forward to more from Talon in the future!!!
J.A. Konrath is just about my favorite author..so i was quick to snatch this up! I didn't even realize it was co-written with his son...or that it was a zombie novel! It was so different from what i expected,but i was easily sucked in,and couldn't put it down once i started. I also had no idea it was a YA novel, but i would recommend it to anyone who likes a good laugh along with their scares! I look forward to more from Talon in the future!!!
August 29, 2017
I found myself laughing out loud while reading GRANDMA? - Attack of the Geriatric Zombies!: The Novel. The book is a father-son collaboration: the father's wordsmithing and the son's humor. I loved the young adult drollery and associated ridiculousness. While on vacation at Grandma's cabin, Josh and Randall discover that Grandma now wants to eat them. How will they survive? You just have to read the story to see how it turns out. But be prepared to howl with laughter more than freight.
July 16, 2020
What an entertaining book! I laughed, groaned, or smiled the entire time. What a great cast of characters and I hope they come back in another story soon. If you are worried that this is going to be a gory Konrath book you will be glad to know it is not that way at all. This is my first audio book narrated by Bob Walkenhorst and he was a perfect choice for this story.
January 23, 2017
VERY GOOD READ
Great character development and an awesome plot. It kept me reading when I should have been doing other stuff. Keep writing!!!
Great character development and an awesome plot. It kept me reading when I should have been doing other stuff. Keep writing!!!
January 31, 2017
A great book
Being a zombie fan too I was curious about this story. I wasn't disappointed! Awesome story with literally laughing out loud parts. Great job guys!!
Being a zombie fan too I was curious about this story. I wasn't disappointed! Awesome story with literally laughing out loud parts. Great job guys!!
December 1, 2023
Someone who is into meant to be dumb, humour based zombie books might like this book and that's who this book is aimed at. But I'm not that kind of reader and I knew very quickly that it wasn't for me, so it became a DNF.
It's not that I hated the subject. Geriatric vampires with false teeth are amusing to think about but not greatly scary as they try to gum you to death. I've had run ins with that kind of book before. Not always a bad read in an Evil Dead 2 kind of way. I was fine with Grandma turning zombie and trying to kill the boys, perhaps with a bit of humour in it. I'm not a fan of geriatric zombies who talk, crack jokes and discuss their denture issues. It's not my kind of read and I have a hatred of talking zombies in general.
I'm not into very dumb dialogue that doesn't match the ages of the kids at times. One minute Josh is spouting philosophy the next he is whining in a two year old's voice that his brother ate all the candy-while Grandma is breaking down the door to eat them. Randall says his brother is very smart so it bugs me to hear him seconds later sounding like a toddler.
Anyway if you like zombie humour this might be for you, but certainly not for me.
1.5 maybe.
It's not that I hated the subject. Geriatric vampires with false teeth are amusing to think about but not greatly scary as they try to gum you to death. I've had run ins with that kind of book before. Not always a bad read in an Evil Dead 2 kind of way. I was fine with Grandma turning zombie and trying to kill the boys, perhaps with a bit of humour in it. I'm not a fan of geriatric zombies who talk, crack jokes and discuss their denture issues. It's not my kind of read and I have a hatred of talking zombies in general.
I'm not into very dumb dialogue that doesn't match the ages of the kids at times. One minute Josh is spouting philosophy the next he is whining in a two year old's voice that his brother ate all the candy-while Grandma is breaking down the door to eat them. Randall says his brother is very smart so it bugs me to hear him seconds later sounding like a toddler.
Anyway if you like zombie humour this might be for you, but certainly not for me.
1.5 maybe.
May 15, 2020
This was a very fun and fast read. I was impressed by Talon's writing, especially since it was his first novel. I have read several books written by Joe, and his influence was all over the story. But, it was still clear that Talon's voice was able to stand alone; I thought that was pretty cool.
As far as the story goes, if you would like a new twist on zombie stories, then this is a good book for you. It isn't very gory and has quick pace. There is a lot of humor, action, and suspense throughout. It was a great ride and I hope we see more books coming from Talon (and Joe) in the future. His father is one of my favorite author's and if he continues to develop his craft, Talon may also make me a life-long reader as well.
As far as the story goes, if you would like a new twist on zombie stories, then this is a good book for you. It isn't very gory and has quick pace. There is a lot of humor, action, and suspense throughout. It was a great ride and I hope we see more books coming from Talon (and Joe) in the future. His father is one of my favorite author's and if he continues to develop his craft, Talon may also make me a life-long reader as well.
December 25, 2020
Good
Hey! That was a fun story. I'm happy I wasn't convinced by some of the bad reviews.
There's even one who complained about the zombies speaking... That he never saw that... Common! Haven't you heard about Return of the Living Dead!?
Some complained about the humour, too. Have you heard about absurd and second degree...? You really shouldn't post bad review when you don't know what you're talking about.
Artists works really hard to provide you with entertainment. You should be grateful. I NEVER review a book under 4 stars, and when I do a critique, it's always constructive. Or I specify if it's not my usual type of story. When I don't like the book, I just close it.
Complaining about books that you paid peanuts, really!? That's kind of cheap.
Hey! That was a fun story. I'm happy I wasn't convinced by some of the bad reviews.
There's even one who complained about the zombies speaking... That he never saw that... Common! Haven't you heard about Return of the Living Dead!?
Some complained about the humour, too. Have you heard about absurd and second degree...? You really shouldn't post bad review when you don't know what you're talking about.
Artists works really hard to provide you with entertainment. You should be grateful. I NEVER review a book under 4 stars, and when I do a critique, it's always constructive. Or I specify if it's not my usual type of story. When I don't like the book, I just close it.
Complaining about books that you paid peanuts, really!? That's kind of cheap.
January 8, 2022
Loved it!!!
Even though this book is YA it didnt matter in the slightest! I loved every second of it! I love everything Ive read by Mr. Konrath and the addition of his sons ideas and writing just made it even better. Einstein and Clevis were absolutely hilarious and the boys Josh and Randall were so well written I felt like they were neighborhood kids I had known my whole life. The zombie genre is so over written but this story had a completely different and original origin that I loved reading. The action and the jokes start right at the begining and dont stop until the End.
Even though this book is YA it didnt matter in the slightest! I loved every second of it! I love everything Ive read by Mr. Konrath and the addition of his sons ideas and writing just made it even better. Einstein and Clevis were absolutely hilarious and the boys Josh and Randall were so well written I felt like they were neighborhood kids I had known my whole life. The zombie genre is so over written but this story had a completely different and original origin that I loved reading. The action and the jokes start right at the begining and dont stop until the End.
May 8, 2017
The title says it all. Geriatric zombie mayhem!
In a small town in Wisconsin, a self-proclaimed redneck genius who calls himself Einstein (even though his name's really Rupert) accidentally sets off the Geriatric Zombie Apocalypse, and it's up to fifteen-year-old Randall and his younger brother Josh to save the day.
Grandma? is full of thrills and chills, and full of laughs as well. If you like zombies (and seriously, who doesn't?) give Grandma? a try.
In a small town in Wisconsin, a self-proclaimed redneck genius who calls himself Einstein (even though his name's really Rupert) accidentally sets off the Geriatric Zombie Apocalypse, and it's up to fifteen-year-old Randall and his younger brother Josh to save the day.
Grandma? is full of thrills and chills, and full of laughs as well. If you like zombies (and seriously, who doesn't?) give Grandma? a try.
June 8, 2022
Definitely for younger readers
I am not in the age range for this book. Not even close to the target market. But I liked the idea of father and son working together to get this book written and published.
It is very wordy though. Everything that could go wrong for the two kids in a couple hours, did go wrong.
My favorite part involved a *nose ring*. But since I don't like spoilers you will just have to read this one yourself.
I am not in the age range for this book. Not even close to the target market. But I liked the idea of father and son working together to get this book written and published.
It is very wordy though. Everything that could go wrong for the two kids in a couple hours, did go wrong.
My favorite part involved a *nose ring*. But since I don't like spoilers you will just have to read this one yourself.
March 20, 2025
Entertaining horror listening 🎶🔰
This kindle e-book novel is from my Kindle Unlimited account
Something weird is going on around the lake! All the older people are turning into vampires. Grandma is hungry and chasing her grandsons. It is quite an adventure coming to a happy ending 😀.
I would recommend this novel and authors to readers of family and friends relationships adventure horror novels 👍🔰 2025 😮😕
This kindle e-book novel is from my Kindle Unlimited account
Something weird is going on around the lake! All the older people are turning into vampires. Grandma is hungry and chasing her grandsons. It is quite an adventure coming to a happy ending 😀.
I would recommend this novel and authors to readers of family and friends relationships adventure horror novels 👍🔰 2025 😮😕
May 9, 2017
If I could give zero stars I would. Worst book I couldn't finish. I got it for free but still want my money back. Konrath writes good stuff. This must have been written by a high school student ghost writer. The dialogue was ridiculous. Young boys talked like teens. No attempt at delineating the characters. Frustratingly bad
May 30, 2017
This book was funny! I listened to the audio book and the narrators voices and pitches really made this book hilarious! It has a good story, it's funny and it was great finding out it was written by a 14 year old! I'm looking to more of his books and hoping he writes a spin-off of Einstein! He was my favorite character.
January 27, 2021
This was a funny book. Not only did the survivors have to endure a zombie attack, they had to deal with zombies that can actually do things as if still alive. Having a talking, thinking zombie was the best, but being able to still have their abilities unhindered was what gave this story a big rating boost.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 29, 2023
I was looking for a quick read to get in before the end of the month, so I picked up this book, co-written by one of my favorite authors and his son, because it was relatively short. I didn't expect too much.
It ended up being completely ridiculous and very funny. Don't expect a horror book, it's a comedy. It reminded me of Leslie Nielsen films - just silly jokes and slapstick fun.
It ended up being completely ridiculous and very funny. Don't expect a horror book, it's a comedy. It reminded me of Leslie Nielsen films - just silly jokes and slapstick fun.
November 10, 2024
Two brothers have to fight off geriatric zombies, including their grandma, when their neighbor Einstein & his bestest friend Clevis inadvertently start the zombie apocalypse. Tongue in cheek humor from Einstein & his stupid experiments. Randall & Josh work together to overcome the obstacles facing their life or death situation. A little off mark for a zombie book but I'm a huge Konrath fan & this is a collaboration with his son
May 7, 2017
This is a YA book written by a young teen author with help from his Dad. When I found that out, I knew I wanted to read it. I like to support young authors. This book was different then any other zombie book I've read. Great job Talon! Can't wait to see more from you in the future. :)
May 25, 2017
Hilarious and dark
Two brothers trying to survive the Geriatric Zombie apocalypse. Hilarity ensues
The characters were all distinct and the story moved along quickly. Fans of What We Do in the Shadows are going to love this!
Two brothers trying to survive the Geriatric Zombie apocalypse. Hilarity ensues
The characters were all distinct and the story moved along quickly. Fans of What We Do in the Shadows are going to love this!
May 29, 2020
Not your typical horror book!
This book is full of humor (some gross) and zombies. It's been quite awhile since I've enjoyed a story as much as this one! Read carefully so you don't miss any of the innuendo or the outright groaners!
This book is full of humor (some gross) and zombies. It's been quite awhile since I've enjoyed a story as much as this one! Read carefully so you don't miss any of the innuendo or the outright groaners!
July 17, 2020
Fun to read
Loved this story. Great job Talon coming up with the idea of the 2 brothers and their grandma zombie.
So many other great characters which made the humor that much funnier.
Loved this story. Great job Talon coming up with the idea of the 2 brothers and their grandma zombie.
So many other great characters which made the humor that much funnier.
May 23, 2017
Great fun
This is a fun, silly, entertaining read. It's like a terrible B-movie in book form, written for older kids. It's good.
This is a fun, silly, entertaining read. It's like a terrible B-movie in book form, written for older kids. It's good.
July 7, 2018
Suspenseful
Great book. A nice dressing blend of suspense and humor! Had a suitable ending for the plot and characters. Love this writer.
Great book. A nice dressing blend of suspense and humor! Had a suitable ending for the plot and characters. Love this writer.
August 29, 2018
Fun book by one of my favorite authors and his son. Not as dark as most of Konraths books but entertaining in its own right.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews