Omelet: A Tragedy of Bill Shake-a-speare

by David M. Brown

To read or not to read....If the Bard is sacred to you, either avoid this parody--a scene-by-scene mangled echo of "Hamlet"--at all costs or download it for your guilty e-reading pleasure whatever the cost (fortunately, it's just $3.49). 35,000 words.From A few principles to guide thine acts is all. Here's the first. When in mixed company, don't babble, but be bold; restrained, not cold. When in company kind the like bewhich befriend, do not incur a devil pitch for stirrup to thy switch in sooth for brine. Be familiar, not a chum; courteous, not a crumb; or rather several crumbs but not a cake because that will...not a cake, no not, and never bundling bake. Father...that's good...I've got to get on that ship...that's great Do not confer with ruthless curs for that will seem unsound. Do not a comely maiden ever pork upon the ground. Do not besmirk a jolly jerk his fumbling awkward frown. When beaten in a boxing match, avoid another round. If a king should lose his head, pray up his soul—then snag his crown. Rarely write a letter unless a courier's around. Nor promulgate a premise that could evolve into a menace. If your teeth turn bad, your gums all red, hie thee to a dentist. Neither a borrower nor a saver-and-loaner be, unless you've got collateral—and a big fat fee. Most of all, to thine own self be true, and it must followeth as dusk follow dawn that thou canst not then be false to— Look, look, I have really, really, have really got to go!

170 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 4, 2011

About the author

David Brown could be considered a fantasy fanatic, especially since he has spent the last 10 years developing a 47,000-year history for his fictional world of Elenchera. When converting his obsession into literary form, David commits himself to a rigorous writing and editing process before his work can meet his approval. Combined with the critical eye of his wife and a BA Honors in History and English, David's dedication leads him to his goal of inspiring readers through heartfelt stories and characters.

Although David is inspired primarily by fantasy fiction, he also finds his muse in the form of anime, world cinema, history, and biographies. His own books, Fezariu's Epiphany (2011), A World Apart (2012) and Ansel's Remorse (2015) combine aspects from worlds both old and new into compelling tales of a world not soon forgotten.

Away from the welcome escapism of fantasy, David is also the joint owner of six cats whose years of owning him have resulted in Man vs Cat (2012), The Bleaklisted Books (2014) and More Bleaklisted Books (2015) - all collaborations with his wife, Donna Brown.

Donna is also the author of Double-take Tales (2011), Losing Heart (2014), Tuning In (2014) and Playing House.