Dancing With Daddy: A Childhood Lost and a Life Regained

by Betsy Petersen

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Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

180 pages, Hardcover

First published June 1, 1991

Reviews

[Susy · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

Such an emotional, heavy and important topic. However, it’s not the topic I’m reviewing but the story and how it’s told. It’s very fragmentary, no clear line and though that way of telling hits the nail on the head in another story I read about dementia, it doesn’t work here. Also, the story would have had a good end with chapter Death. The chapters after that actually diminished the impact of the story.

[Dm · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I first started reading, I wasn't sure it was believable. I thought of the controversial repressed memories I had read about. However, I am an incest victim myself and it wasn't long before I knew the authors account was legit. The feelings and dreams and emotional detachment she shares is incredibly close to my own. The form in which she shares her story is very fitting to the way the memories are scattered and do jump around as in dreams. I think the book might be very helpful for those in the beginning stages of dealing with their own incest, since saying it out loud is one of the most important steps. However, I couldn't help think that those who haven't experienced this type of abuse, or those who were still denying it would hate the book. I commend the author for sharing her secrets. Being able to speak openly about the incest is truly the only way to shed the shame (wrongfully placed), and feel "clean" again. One reviewer didn't like the "Going Public" chapter with dream content of the author as a defendant in court and the prosecutor challenging the content of her book. She seemed to be apologizing to her mother and all the people that were devoted to the pristine memory of her father for defaming his memory. To me, it was only further proof of her story, as it was still a show of the shame she had not yet shed at the conclusion of her book.

[Timmy Cham · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The past is never dead. It's not even past."--William Faulkner

How much of our present behavior is just an aftershock
of a traumatic earthquake which occurred in childhood?
Betsy Petersen's memoir of recovery from incest provides
an admirably detailed and poignant portrait:

I did not know what I was doing. I only knew I was angry
with [my children] and they didn't deserve it. Until I
had gotten back the missing parts of my past, I couldn't make
the connections between my anger at my children in the
present and the numb compliance of my childhood.
(page 93)

Through a memoir which reads like a novel, Petersen recounts
her struggles to reclaim the memories of what was done to her
--and how her childhood trauma later impacted her attitudes
and feelings about sexuality (49-51), motherhood (81-96),
money (109-119), menstruation (115), people-pleasing (117)
and food (120-124).

An insightful book--for survivors and their loved ones.

[Megan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sometimes it felt like the thoughts were scattered, jumping around chapter to chapter. One point toward the end I found deliberately didactic, which didn't fit with the rest of the book. It was almost as if the thought process was, "Oh, there needs to be some information about sexual abuse. Let's have a dream sequence in which the prosecutor acts as the readers who may challenge the book's content." It was more like an opportunity for the author to answer possible comments on the book, but the way it was done was off-putting to me.

[Palmyra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Disturbing and controversial regarding the rape and incest of a young girl by the person meant to protect her. Controversial because of the subject of psychological repression which some suggest doesn't exist. For those reasons, it’s not an easy book to read. I read it for a psychology class back in High school. Not a book you would want to read for “pleasure” but definitely one you won't forget.

[Elena · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did read the entire book, many years ago, but it was a very difficult topic to get through.