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The God who saves is also a God who woos His own to a relationship primarily of the heart. As we draw closer to Him, we must choose to let go of other "less-wild lovers," such as perfectionistic driveness and self-indulgence. Eldredge and Curtis identify the lies offered by "false loves" and instruct us on the journey back to the Lover of our souls.In carefully crafted words and images, the authors entice the reader to his or her own journey of the heart, promising, "It is possible to recover the lost life of our heart and with it the intimacy, beauty, and adventure of life with God."
206 pages, Hardcover
First published May 14, 1997
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8504 people want to read
About the author
John Eldredge
227 books1,924 followersJohn Eldredge is an American author, counselor, and lecturer on Christianity. He is known for his best-selling book Wild at Heart.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 437 reviews
February 23, 2012
My mother gave me this book several years ago, and I never found the time to read it. Recently, I picked it up and gave it a go. It was definitely the right choice at the right time.
As a girl who wishes she could journey with the fellowship in The Lord of the Rings or even travel through the countryside with Elizabeth Bennett, I fully understand the ache and desire for adventure and romance -- to be a part of something bigger than you are and engrave yourself into a story that stretches before you and after you.
The truth is, we are not frauds -- we were made for adventure and romance and it is attainable; it is waiting for us.
The choice is ours: Do we step through the wardrobe? Do we accept the quest and the risk that comes with it? Do we believe and receive the love and desire that is offered to us and refuse the lies that whisper that we are not worthy?
Are you ready to jump ... and soar ... and discover that, as this book states, we "cannot outdream God"?
Go ahead and read it. I dare you to take the risk because you're worth it.
As a girl who wishes she could journey with the fellowship in The Lord of the Rings or even travel through the countryside with Elizabeth Bennett, I fully understand the ache and desire for adventure and romance -- to be a part of something bigger than you are and engrave yourself into a story that stretches before you and after you.
The truth is, we are not frauds -- we were made for adventure and romance and it is attainable; it is waiting for us.
The choice is ours: Do we step through the wardrobe? Do we accept the quest and the risk that comes with it? Do we believe and receive the love and desire that is offered to us and refuse the lies that whisper that we are not worthy?
Are you ready to jump ... and soar ... and discover that, as this book states, we "cannot outdream God"?
Go ahead and read it. I dare you to take the risk because you're worth it.
December 4, 2012
I just finished this book for the second time, just in time to read it again. i love the book so much because it falls naturally in line with my own normal way of thinking. in fact many of the authors quoted are my favorites. For me the overlying theme of the book is: God loves you and every good, pure thing in your life is from God and to His purposes. This book will change the way you view God. Our relationship with God occurs in the heart, not in the church alone, but in the way we are created in relation to the way our emotions respond to the rest of creation. Its all a sacred romance in which we are drawn to God, the only Being capable of meeting our deepest needs.
May 23, 2010
About eighteen months ago, my mom handed me this little book and told me her book club was reading it. She thought I might like it. That little book was Epic by John Eldredge, and I more than liked it – the book fundamentally shifted the way I see my faith. And it made me want to read everything Eldredge has ever written.
One of the fundamental ideas in Eldredge’s writing is that humans were made for more than the mundane and drab; instead, we were made for joy and gloriousness and beauty. Thus, the standard perception (by most people, including many Christians) of Christianity as a list of rules and regulations and standards of behavior is misguided at best and harmful at worst. Instead, people should live in the glory that is God and that is the people they were made to be. I found this idea absolutely amazing. For years, I’ve braced myself against the church’s teachings about things like homosexuality because I did not fundamentally believe that God wanted us to invest all this energy in telling people who they shouldn’t be. How wonderful to think that our lives should be guided by a relationship with an all-loving God rather than by “dos and don’ts” set out by flawed humans like ourselves. (Note: Eldredge isn’t saying all behaviors or choices are acceptable; he’s just saying that those choices should be determined by relationship rather than regulation.)
In The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God, Eldredge delves into depth on how this relationship with God plays out. In his telling, the story of God and humanity is a romance where God is pursuing us, and we only need to turn to God. He talks about the ways we are wounded as children and young adults and about how we learn to cope with those wounds by shutting down or developing behaviors that protect us. The result of this self-protection is often a less than vivid life of survival rather than one of glory. Instead of hiding our wounds and acting as if they don’t exist, Eldredge urges us to carry them to God, the only One who can truly heal them.
One of the wounds I received as a child was the wound of rejection. I was not the most popular kid, and I was good at school (okay, I was outright nerdy). Therefore, I didn’t have many friends. I always had a couple of really key girls who I was close to, but I spent most of my time with my parents and brother, the people who always wanted to be near me (my brother won’t admit it, but he’s always liked me;)). Today, that wound plays out in a neediness that I display when it seems someone might leave me – either for the day or for good. I get clingy and controlling, and in the process, I end up driving people away, even if they weren’t even intending to leave. I am learning, slowly, to carry this wound before God and let God heal it. I am learning that my needs are met in God, even when they are not met in people. This is a painful process (even writing about it is painful), but it is holy and good.
Eldredge’s books have taught me to look for God in all moments and to seek God’s face when I feel most needy. God has been trying to tell me this for years, probably, but sometimes it takes the words of another human to get me to hear them.
If you’re a Believer looking for a fresh way to see your loving God, this book is great. If you’re not a Believer but would like to read about a God who loves you because you’re tired of a church who puts your behavior before your person, this book is for you.
One of the fundamental ideas in Eldredge’s writing is that humans were made for more than the mundane and drab; instead, we were made for joy and gloriousness and beauty. Thus, the standard perception (by most people, including many Christians) of Christianity as a list of rules and regulations and standards of behavior is misguided at best and harmful at worst. Instead, people should live in the glory that is God and that is the people they were made to be. I found this idea absolutely amazing. For years, I’ve braced myself against the church’s teachings about things like homosexuality because I did not fundamentally believe that God wanted us to invest all this energy in telling people who they shouldn’t be. How wonderful to think that our lives should be guided by a relationship with an all-loving God rather than by “dos and don’ts” set out by flawed humans like ourselves. (Note: Eldredge isn’t saying all behaviors or choices are acceptable; he’s just saying that those choices should be determined by relationship rather than regulation.)
In The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God, Eldredge delves into depth on how this relationship with God plays out. In his telling, the story of God and humanity is a romance where God is pursuing us, and we only need to turn to God. He talks about the ways we are wounded as children and young adults and about how we learn to cope with those wounds by shutting down or developing behaviors that protect us. The result of this self-protection is often a less than vivid life of survival rather than one of glory. Instead of hiding our wounds and acting as if they don’t exist, Eldredge urges us to carry them to God, the only One who can truly heal them.
One of the wounds I received as a child was the wound of rejection. I was not the most popular kid, and I was good at school (okay, I was outright nerdy). Therefore, I didn’t have many friends. I always had a couple of really key girls who I was close to, but I spent most of my time with my parents and brother, the people who always wanted to be near me (my brother won’t admit it, but he’s always liked me;)). Today, that wound plays out in a neediness that I display when it seems someone might leave me – either for the day or for good. I get clingy and controlling, and in the process, I end up driving people away, even if they weren’t even intending to leave. I am learning, slowly, to carry this wound before God and let God heal it. I am learning that my needs are met in God, even when they are not met in people. This is a painful process (even writing about it is painful), but it is holy and good.
Eldredge’s books have taught me to look for God in all moments and to seek God’s face when I feel most needy. God has been trying to tell me this for years, probably, but sometimes it takes the words of another human to get me to hear them.
If you’re a Believer looking for a fresh way to see your loving God, this book is great. If you’re not a Believer but would like to read about a God who loves you because you’re tired of a church who puts your behavior before your person, this book is for you.
September 17, 2015
Don't read this book. Please.
Fine ideas. Repetitious and drooling with emotionalism, seeking charismatic highs in disregard for fair interpretation of scripture.
Fine ideas. Repetitious and drooling with emotionalism, seeking charismatic highs in disregard for fair interpretation of scripture.
August 19, 2012
I tried to read this book several times before, but could never bear it. I ended up shoving it to the back of my book pile because it hurt too much to read. Warning: This book will awaken your heart; it will cause you to feel the edge of desires which are bittersweet. It will speak to those dreams and longings that you may have pushed away because God has not fulfilled them. At least, these were part of the reasons why I could not finish the book. It was more comfortable for me to not feel my heart, instead of face its ache.
Only very recently, at the suggestion of a beloved friend, did I open its pages again. And I finished! : P Not only is the Gospel related in an entirely fresh narrative perspective, but I began to see the Kingdom of God in a way I had never glimpsed before. This is exactly what my own church-inurred, cultural christianity heart needed. I have grown up in the Church; I've heard the Gospel and thousands of incredible sermons; I've read Joyce Meyer books and been to one of her conferences; I've been a leader at a religious nonprofit organization; I've fasted, prayed, tried reading my Bible from cover to cover.....you know....the list goes on and on.
But I've been praying for God to reveal His heart to me in a way I've not experienced before, and for Him to show me who He truly is--not what American Christianese Culture says he is.
Alls I know is that this book is well on its way to becoming a classic, and has been part of that answer to prayer.
Only very recently, at the suggestion of a beloved friend, did I open its pages again. And I finished! : P Not only is the Gospel related in an entirely fresh narrative perspective, but I began to see the Kingdom of God in a way I had never glimpsed before. This is exactly what my own church-inurred, cultural christianity heart needed. I have grown up in the Church; I've heard the Gospel and thousands of incredible sermons; I've read Joyce Meyer books and been to one of her conferences; I've been a leader at a religious nonprofit organization; I've fasted, prayed, tried reading my Bible from cover to cover.....you know....the list goes on and on.
But I've been praying for God to reveal His heart to me in a way I've not experienced before, and for Him to show me who He truly is--not what American Christianese Culture says he is.
Alls I know is that this book is well on its way to becoming a classic, and has been part of that answer to prayer.
March 10, 2014
I'd rather read the Bible.
February 18, 2015
THE SACRED ROMANCE IS ALL ABOUT DRAWING US NEARER TO GOD'S OWN HEART.
I FOUND THIS READING VERY PROFOUND IN HOW THE AUTHOR "JOHN ELDREDGE" PORTRAY'S EACH EVENT IN USING SCRIPTURE BASED WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE, TO ADD INTO OUR OWN RELATIONSHIPS IN CHRIST.
IT WAS ALWAYS VERY HARD TO PUT THE BOOK DOWN, WHEN IT WAS TIME FOR SUPPER OR BED. :-) I CAN SAY SINCE THIS READING ABOUT DRAWING CLOSER AND BEING "HOLY SPIRIT" LED. I HAVE COME ALONG WAY OUT OF THE DARKNESS AS A YOUNG TEEN GIRL, SO MANY YEARS AGO. THIS READING LEADS EACH OF US WHO READS IT, TO LOOK INTO OUR OWN LIVES/MARRIAGES/RELATIONSHIPS, IN HOW TO MAKE THEM MORE PRODUCTIVE AND CHRISTLIKE. AND LEARN EVEN MORE ABOUT THE CHARACTERISTIC'S OF OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. A SPIRIT LED ROMANCE YOU WILL REMEMBER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I KNOW I WILL...
I FOUND THIS READING VERY PROFOUND IN HOW THE AUTHOR "JOHN ELDREDGE" PORTRAY'S EACH EVENT IN USING SCRIPTURE BASED WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE, TO ADD INTO OUR OWN RELATIONSHIPS IN CHRIST.
IT WAS ALWAYS VERY HARD TO PUT THE BOOK DOWN, WHEN IT WAS TIME FOR SUPPER OR BED. :-) I CAN SAY SINCE THIS READING ABOUT DRAWING CLOSER AND BEING "HOLY SPIRIT" LED. I HAVE COME ALONG WAY OUT OF THE DARKNESS AS A YOUNG TEEN GIRL, SO MANY YEARS AGO. THIS READING LEADS EACH OF US WHO READS IT, TO LOOK INTO OUR OWN LIVES/MARRIAGES/RELATIONSHIPS, IN HOW TO MAKE THEM MORE PRODUCTIVE AND CHRISTLIKE. AND LEARN EVEN MORE ABOUT THE CHARACTERISTIC'S OF OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. A SPIRIT LED ROMANCE YOU WILL REMEMBER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I KNOW I WILL...
July 3, 2013
Another great book by Eldridge. This is all about rediscovering the "haunting" that we have all felt at one time or another. There are two ways of handling that desire we feel deep in our hearts. Some try to capture the feeling in a never ending cycle of addictions: a new love affair, more alcohol, drugs, thrills. Others try to kill their hearts so that they no longer feel pain and consequently also give up on transcendent joy. This books points the reader to Christ, the object of our longing and desire, which can never be satisfied here on earth. As someone who prefers for life to keep an even keel, I found it a challenging idea to be open for longing and pain, allowing it to draw me closer to my Savior.
November 25, 2019
The Sacred Romance is deep; it's also unnerving, since it cuts so deep down into the soul, the center of one's being. It exposes our fragility, our weaknesses, our longings & desires, as well as our hopes & dreams for something more, something lasting, something eternal. Read this together with my wife in the evenings before our dinner. Very good food for thought--and practical action steps for the heart & mind.
May 22, 2025
A beautiful description of God's heart of love for his creation.
November 23, 2014
150 pages of metaphor (is that even the right word for it?). Probably more, but that's the point that I finally called it quits.
I read that much and still don't have any idea what it is about. The author discusses all these abstract concepts that he names with proper, capitalized names. The Haunting. The Message of the Arrows. I think he was just referring to innocence (or the remembrance of it) and trials/problems. But instead of saying what he meant, he would give it a Name, and refer to it by it's Name for the rest of the book. I had put it down for some time and came back to it, and he kept talking about Arrows, and I had to go back and reread the chapter about the Message of the Arrows so I knew what he was talking about (still didn't, really).
I feel like overall he was trying way too hard. He was striving for C. S. Lewis and fell so short. But I mean, come on, nobody but C. S. Lewis can write like C. S. Lewis. But I don't fault him for failing. I fault him for even trying.
I read that much and still don't have any idea what it is about. The author discusses all these abstract concepts that he names with proper, capitalized names. The Haunting. The Message of the Arrows. I think he was just referring to innocence (or the remembrance of it) and trials/problems. But instead of saying what he meant, he would give it a Name, and refer to it by it's Name for the rest of the book. I had put it down for some time and came back to it, and he kept talking about Arrows, and I had to go back and reread the chapter about the Message of the Arrows so I knew what he was talking about (still didn't, really).
I feel like overall he was trying way too hard. He was striving for C. S. Lewis and fell so short. But I mean, come on, nobody but C. S. Lewis can write like C. S. Lewis. But I don't fault him for failing. I fault him for even trying.
March 28, 2023
Genuinely one of the best books I have ever read. I recommend this book to everyone—God has transformed my perspective through it. This book speaks to God’s pursuit of and delight in us, and how we can live in His larger story of romance, beauty, and adventure in communion with Him, fueled by the hope of Heaven and the remembrance of God’s deliverance and what He has delivered us from. God inspired me, comforted me, validated me, and graciously pointed me back to His character, mission, and story for the world—that all people from all nations be reconciled to Him and delivered from the Arrows of life into eternal glory with our Creator. I could write paragraphs about this book, but I’ll stop there—read it, I promise you won’t regret it!
March 13, 2014
I got to page 4 or 5. Jesus referred to as he instead of He and Satan spelled with a capital S...hmm. My savior is He, capital H. Sacred Romance always in caps. This small stuff speaks to me. Not biblical in the least. If this book speaks to you, ask yourself whom is speaking cause it isn't God! It does not line up with scripture yet the title is captivating because I know the Lord does want us to be so close to Him...but this book has the details wrong wrong wrong. I skimmed through the rest of the book looking for scripture (accurate scripture) and found little. Tons of misquotes from people though! Don't waste your time with this junk. It isn't Christianity at all.
March 7, 2008
I know he's controversial on all sides. But the first time I read this, I stayed in bed all weekend to finish it. I literally did not leave the house, and was brought to tears more than once. It was a turning point in my faith - to have so much affirmed that I thought did not have a place in the church. Its easy reading and there's way too many movie references, but I am forever grateful for the courage it took to stand in the face of the modern church culture and say we are missing it.
April 17, 2023
I learned a lot from the wisdom of these authors. They had memorable insight that overarchingly hit home in my heart! However it was a very verbose and anecdotal book; at times it felt like their writing had so many aims, there would be one that struck a chord compared to the tens that would miss. It’s a book I will be rereading for greater depth and comprehension, but due to the style of writing, not anytime soon.
January 24, 2016
This isn't for everyone, but if its where you're at, it speaks volumes. It was hard for me to wrap my mind around such "poetic" writing, which is a bit mushy, but it rang true for me and it always sets my head and heart on a better path.
August 20, 2018
This book introduced me to a God I never knew and a kind of relationship with Him I never knew was possible, but absolutely needed. Must read!
August 16, 2025
Literally life-changing.
July 12, 2024
This book does a great job to present the love of God and show how we resist or numb ourselves by the arrows of past wounds.
If nothing else, read chapter 6 - there's so much scripture in this part that really puts a spotlight on God's affection for His church. Once you filter down to these verses, it's so blatantly obvious that this is so deep a theme throughout all of scripture. Sadly, we so often trade it for obedience so that we may be loved and not bc we are already so very loved.
There are some scattered chapters that were a bit more dry, particularly early on, but once I hit Ch. 3, I saw the reason/motivation to keep reading to the end.
Depending on your church background, you may not hear this message enough - I certainly believe that it is missing from most conversations among believers and it's why so many are confused when we talk about rejoicing in the Lord as if it were nothing more than a thing of the past.
The Sacred Romance speaks to the deep craving in each heart to be known and desired in the very same way God is already sufficient. When we miss that, we can pursue idols to their hollow ends.
May you always be quick to Christ and enjoy grace upon grace.
If nothing else, read chapter 6 - there's so much scripture in this part that really puts a spotlight on God's affection for His church. Once you filter down to these verses, it's so blatantly obvious that this is so deep a theme throughout all of scripture. Sadly, we so often trade it for obedience so that we may be loved and not bc we are already so very loved.
There are some scattered chapters that were a bit more dry, particularly early on, but once I hit Ch. 3, I saw the reason/motivation to keep reading to the end.
Depending on your church background, you may not hear this message enough - I certainly believe that it is missing from most conversations among believers and it's why so many are confused when we talk about rejoicing in the Lord as if it were nothing more than a thing of the past.
The Sacred Romance speaks to the deep craving in each heart to be known and desired in the very same way God is already sufficient. When we miss that, we can pursue idols to their hollow ends.
May you always be quick to Christ and enjoy grace upon grace.
April 3, 2024
Good good book! I definitely recommend it as a must read for all! Great reminder of how God is restoring us, His Beloved, to Him through our intimacy with Him, not rules or regulations. We must pursue Him from the heart, and all else will flow from it! Here’s a good quote to sum it all up:
“For above all else, the Christian life is a love affair of the heart. It cannot be lived primarily as a set of principles or ethics. It cannot be managed with steps and programs. It cannot be lived exclusively as a moral code leading to righteousness…The truth of the Gospel is intended to free us to love God and others with our whole heart. When we ignore this heart aspect of our faith and try to live our religion solely as correct doctrine or ethics, our passion is crippled, or perverted, and the divorce of our soul from the heart purposes of God toward us is deepened.”
“For above all else, the Christian life is a love affair of the heart. It cannot be lived primarily as a set of principles or ethics. It cannot be managed with steps and programs. It cannot be lived exclusively as a moral code leading to righteousness…The truth of the Gospel is intended to free us to love God and others with our whole heart. When we ignore this heart aspect of our faith and try to live our religion solely as correct doctrine or ethics, our passion is crippled, or perverted, and the divorce of our soul from the heart purposes of God toward us is deepened.”
November 28, 2018
My takeaway: This life is reality. It doesn’t need to be numbed. The ache and longing we feel for intimacy, beauty, and adventure is real and will be fulfilled and we can look forward to that promise some day, and in the meantime acknowledge those desires.
The beginning was pretty straightforward and could even be a little dated with the pop culture examples used, and I haven’t much liked Eldredge’s writing in the past, but I was in tears by the end of this book multiple times. Exactly what I needed to hear at this time in my life. Will definitely read again. It was truly beautiful! And he quotes a lot of saints and church fathers. (Always amazing to me when someone’s not Catholic!)
The beginning was pretty straightforward and could even be a little dated with the pop culture examples used, and I haven’t much liked Eldredge’s writing in the past, but I was in tears by the end of this book multiple times. Exactly what I needed to hear at this time in my life. Will definitely read again. It was truly beautiful! And he quotes a lot of saints and church fathers. (Always amazing to me when someone’s not Catholic!)
January 15, 2025
the redeemed heart hungers for beauty.
one of the top books I have ever read that stirs the heart of the one who knows God, that speaks to the cosmic drama that He has been weaving since before time began. A narrative so rich and powerful and large that it is able to satisfy your yearning for intimacy, beauty, and adventure in this world of danger and chaos.
Refreshed. Eager. Hopeful! In a time of battling unwanted health issues, my soul longs for Thee and thanks Thee for the opportunity to stop, remember, and become ontologically substantive. Here’s to dreaming and to living out the truth that “we were made for Eden, and Eden is about to Return.”
one of the top books I have ever read that stirs the heart of the one who knows God, that speaks to the cosmic drama that He has been weaving since before time began. A narrative so rich and powerful and large that it is able to satisfy your yearning for intimacy, beauty, and adventure in this world of danger and chaos.
Refreshed. Eager. Hopeful! In a time of battling unwanted health issues, my soul longs for Thee and thanks Thee for the opportunity to stop, remember, and become ontologically substantive. Here’s to dreaming and to living out the truth that “we were made for Eden, and Eden is about to Return.”
May 23, 2021
I've been reading this book since the beginning of 2019, and it's taken me this long to finish for good reason. This book took a lot out of my to read in a good way. It is the only Christian book I've ever read to actually challenge some beliefs and structures of my faith and heart. As less than an intellectually drawn person, I would sometimes pull away from wanting to read because it made me realize that I don't like to be challenged and to have to think about what I believe and why! I'm so glad I persisted. Did I agree with everything he said? Nah. But did it still change me? Absolutely.
November 21, 2018
This one is a mixed bag for me. On the one hand, it took me about a year to finish it, with months of breaks in the middle...but when I did pick it up again, it was deeply encouraging and led me to encountering God in ways I hadn't in years. I probably will never read it again, but near the end particularly there are a few gems of quotes that I want to keep.
March 9, 2020
This is my hinge book - the book upon which all other books in my library hinge. If I had not read this one between high school and college, I would not have started the reading journey I am now on. It was great revisiting this book after more than 20 years when it first had such a profound impact on my life. I may reread it immediately again here.
April 13, 2023
This was a really beautiful perspective on God’s pursuit of the human heart, and what we do with our heart’s deepest questions and desires in the larger story we’re living in. Spoke to my spirit in a lot of great ways.
Favorite quote:
“Every day when we rise, we can tell ourselves, My journey today will bring me closer to home; it may be just around the bend.”
We’re almost Home.
Favorite quote:
“Every day when we rise, we can tell ourselves, My journey today will bring me closer to home; it may be just around the bend.”
We’re almost Home.
May 21, 2025
It is important to see the Bible and what God is doing in the world through the lens of story and not only chapter and verse. God is the author and perfecter of our lives and our story comes alive when we come into his.
This book is a good encouraging reminder. I found it best to read it in parts, like a devotional, to stir up the reminder that each day is active participation in that story.
This book is a good encouraging reminder. I found it best to read it in parts, like a devotional, to stir up the reminder that each day is active participation in that story.
February 20, 2024
I read this one for a book club. This book was not really my cup of tea, but it's always interesting to read a book that's had a profound effect on others. I did like all the quotes from Lewis, Chesterton, Buechner, etc.
January 27, 2025
This story is so wonderful on a spiritual level! Helps you see things in a different light and find comfort in the love of God. With examples from movies like Forrest Gump to poets and more. Absolutely enjoyed this inspiring and religious book!
March 31, 2021
Very good!
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