Mikey and Me: Life with My Exceptional Sister

by Teresa Sullivan

A riveting memoir about growing up as a typical sibling in a family of four, Mikey & Me is Teresa Sullivan's tribute to her beloved older sister Mikey, who was blind and developmentally disabled.
When Mikey is young, the Sullivans are a closely-knit unit, devoted to caring for her. But as Mikey grows older, and increasingly violent, it becomes impossible to keep her at home. At twelve, institutionalization is the only option. Without the shared purpose of caring for Mikey, the family begins to unravel. Seeking comfort and connection, Teresa navigates the border between the mainstream and the 1960s and 70s countercultures. Still, the Sullivans are united by their love and concern for Mikey, visiting often and sometimes bringing her home. Sometimes sweet and touching interludes, these visits also reveal evidence of the abuse that Mikey experiences.
Writing with clarity, eloquence, and poignancy, Sullivan shines a light on the complicated issues involved in caring for a special needs child. Even young siblings must become honorary adults and caregivers, grappling with the same conflicting emotions their parents experience.
As she interweaves her exceptional sister's journey with her own, Sullivan affirms the grace and brutality of Mikey's life, and its indelible effect on her family

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Disability

246 pages, Paperback

Published August 29, 2017

Reviews

[Kelly]

Teresa grew up in the 1950's/60's with a developmentally disabled and blind older sister Mikey. She portrays a very vivid and brutal picture of what life was like for Mikey and her family when there were very few treatment options available. Eventually as Mikey became more violent, they were left with no choice but to institutionalize her. Her family did a remarkable job advocating for Mikey during a time when the doctors at the facilities did not always know the best treatment. This is the story of how life with Mikey affected the whole family, including her parent's marriage and Teresa's struggle with drugs and alcohol. I definitely recommend this one.

Many thanks to BookSparks for sending me the memoir, Mikey and Me by Teresa Sullivan.

[Booksandchinooks (Laurie)]

Thanks to Book Sparks for a digital copy of this book for review. All opinions are my own. This is a wonderful but heartbreaking memoir by Teresa Sullivan. Teresa's older sister, Mikey, is developmentally delayed so as a result her care becomes the focus of the family. As Mikey gets older her behaviour gets more violent, endangering herself as well as others, so her parents are forced to have her institutionalized. It was so impressive how long her parents kept her at home and were her only caretakers. During the 1960's and 1970's it was common practice to have children with these disabilities institutionalized at a very early age. Once they were forced to put Mikey into an institution her parents advocated strongly for her throughout her life. Although their marriage wasn't stable they remained united in their care and love for Mikey. The author details the cruel and disturbing things that happened to Mikey during her care. Throughout her childhood Teresa's needs were somewhat lost in the family dynamics. As a result she had a very tough and rebellious childhood which carried though many years of her adult life. This is a very honest and raw memoir.

[Cheryl]

This is an exceptional read. Not to be missed. This is how all memoirs should be written with such soul. Instantly, I felt a connection towards the author and her family. It could not have been easy to raise a developmentally disabled sister right from birth. Yet, as the author shares, Mikey was the glue that held the family together. If Teresa's parents had put Mikey into an institution early on, she and her family would not have had the memories of the fun times.

When the author shared how she felt a bit resentment towards her sister for taking so much of her parents time and love, I felt the most real connection with the author. She laid bare part of her soul. Although, this book was not just about Mikey. Teresa shares her childhood growing up after Mikey becomes a ward of the state. This is when the glue dissolves. I am glad that Teresa had a friend like Anne. Everyone needs that one great, best friend.

The deplorable living situation and lack of staff care is horrible. People like Mikey should not have to be subject to those situations. I do not know what the current situations are like but I truly hope and expect that they are better. The state has an obligation to care for these people with respect. This book will resonate with you long after you have finished the last page.

[Amanda Work]

My interest in this title comes from my curiosity to see if any of my own experiences with disabled family members who were institutionalized are mirrored in the lives of others. I was not surprised to find that many of the unfortunate horror stories surrounding the common practices of over-medicating and physically abusing the severely disabled in both public and private institutions are as true for others as they were in my own family's experience. The anecdotes presented were heartbreaking and reignited memories of my own that had long laid dormant, but not forgotten.

Reading this memoir was emotionally cathartic when the writing focused on Mikey, the author's disabled sister.
But I found it more difficult to identify with the author's own stories of misfortune when Mikey was not involved directly. The connection is clear between choices the author made in her life and how her relationships with her sister and parents influenced those decisions. However, I was more emotionally engaged in the book when the family interactions were the center of the story. I was not expecting to read the amount of detail into the author's more troubled experiences outside of her relationship with Mikey and I was somewhat distracted by that change in the story's focus. While I can see the obvious importance to include these facts in the memoir, the narrative lost a natural flow for this reader at this point.

The author has done an amazing job combining personal experiences and tragedy with a compassionate story into a compelling book which documents how profoundly the life, and death, of people with severe intellectual and physical disabilities affect every aspect of the lives of their families, and especially siblings.

[Lolly K Dandeneau]

via my blog: https://bookstalkerblog.wordpress.com/
“As I look back, I realize that I never saw other children like Mikey in public places. Many were in institutions, and perhaps the families who kept them chose not to venture into the outside world.”

Times were different when Teresa was growing up. Inclusion was nothing like it is today, and let’s face it, it could be better now too. This is an intimately painful revelation into what it was like growing up with an exceptional sister, one with severe disabilities. The family was admirable in their efforts to keep their beloved daughter Mikey in the family home as long as they could, but it wasn’t without hardship on each family member. The hardest parts of the book to read involved the abuses that happened to Mikey while she was institutionalized, despite her family’s fight- the reality is the person who can’t speak for what occurs suffers the most and is blamed for the disturbing sickness inside others. We don’t often speak of the difficulty on siblings, because in a sense, Teresa and other children like her are born into care-taking. It’s a grown up responsibility that many adults shirk. The struggle of loving your sibling and resenting them is incredibly heartbreaking. Teresa didn’t have the attention so many children need, and as much as she understood why on a mature level, it absolutely had damaging effects. It’s no one’s fault, the parents certainly tried their hardest, but caring for someone such as Mikey is a never ending job, it requires the family to be constantly on alert, more than two steps ahead. You cannot doubt their love, but it was obviously mentally and physically exhausting. I cannot imagine how much harder in times with less compassion. Back then, it was still somewhat hidden, treated like a shameful issue, families treated to freak show mentality.

How can the reader not be touched by Mikey? What sort of life is it, unable to truly communicate your needs, suffering? Trying to navigate a world you can’t understand, abused by other patients, and lashing out against those who love you for reasons you truly cannot help. The marriage between Teresa’s parents was beyond strain, the demands of their life didn’t leave time for romance, intimacy any relationship beyond worrying and caring for their daughter. A poignant moment was the fantasy young Teresa had, watching the Helen Keller movie, the hope that maybe she could just teach her in the same way, breach the communication barrier and then the plummeting depression of reality, too much to bear. It’s no wonder that later in life Teresa plummeted herself. Drugs as escape, running away from the calm of home, where no one seemed much invested. A best friend like a sister she wished Mikey could have been later souring, bringing out the worst in her and later- an injury that terrifies her, that brings her own brain closer to Mikey’s. The terror of losing her own function! This isn’t pretty friends but it is unflinchingly raw!

I think of the courage it takes for such a family, and the horrific reality of how it feels to have to give your child over, a parent’s true nightmare. Mikey kept them bonded and the calm is almost louder than the noise when she is no longer home. How do people keep faith? Where do you find hope when doctors have nothing to offer, when you know more about your child/siblings needs than any facility? For some people, the happy ending never comes, there aren’t any trail blazing medical breakthroughs that save them. This was the truth for Mikey and Teresa. Take heart, Teresa did glimpse happiness in her sister, be it the spinning, or moments of laughter. Never doubt Mikey’s family loved her, but this is a real look into what the family went through, Mikey included, back when no one bothered to understand only stared and judged. You didn’t have the internet to connect easily with other families like yours, nor support. Society just put them away, out of sight, out of mind but this is a family that handled what they were given in life with much grace. Such a sad story.

Publication Date: August 29, 2017

She Writes Press

[Linda Atwell]

I was provided an advanced copy of Mikey and Me for my opinion and review. I wanted to read this particular memoir because I have a daughter with special needs and I wanted to read a book from a siblings point of view. Author, Teresa Sullivan, sister of Mikey, did not disappoint.

Mikey and Me contains heartbreaking stories of how people with severe disabilities were treated back in the 60s and 70s and 80s. In this case, the author’s parents had little support to keep their daughter, who had brain damage, at home. Instead, they were encouraged to institutionalize her. Eventually she was made a ward of the state. And although they could see that Mikey was not being treated well, their hands were tied. No one listened to them and their cries that Mikey might be being abused. Back then, people with disabilities were often thought to “be less” than those without. This book sure gives the reader a first hand account of some of the horrifying ways Sullivan’s sister was treated and my heart broke for Mikey several times during the read.

While Mikey was living at home, the family rallied around her, trying to keep her safe. Mikey was their common challenge, their common goal, their common everything. Once Mikey was removed from the household, the family fell apart. Sullivan, it appears, went on to live her life, but also her sister's life too, probably doing twice as much experimenting with drugs and alcohol than if she had had a calmer, typical household. I’m not blaming Sullivan’s actions on her sister. I just feel that the typical sister in this memoir often got lost in the family dynamics. Sullivan lived on the edge for a number of years before finding her way back to a healthier lifestyle.

I can say, from firsthand experience, a child with special needs puts a lot of stress on a family. Mikey’s needs were great and many times I wondered how this family made it as long as they did without intitualizing their disabled daughter. Then, when Mikey was placed in an institution, I felt a great deal of admiration for this family. They did not forget Mikey while she was there. They made regular visits and tried so very hard to show the love they felt for this little girl, then young woman.

I don’t think a book like this could truly have a happy ending, but Sullivan gives a voice to her sister who never had one. I think this is a lovely tribute from one sister to another. And the fact that Sullivan addresses the challenges of being the typical sister, gets lost then finds her way back to peace, sure made this a worthwhile read for me.
~Linda Atwell, author of "Loving Lindsey: Raising a Daughter with Special Needs"

[Stephanie]

Library Biography #21

Extremely quick read. It's been a while since I read a book in one day, but I just couldn't put this one down. This book was captivating and a worthwhile read.

Teresa Sullivan recounts her life, which was largely impacted by her severely handicapped sister, Michele aka Mikey. There are moments that she describes of the intimate moments she experiences with her sister, but the book is largely Sullivan's life account, versus the account of just her and Mikey - while I feel like this takes away from the premise of the book, it did not affect my overall opinion of this account.

Sullivan mostly focuses on relationships - the relationship of her family, the relationship she has with her sister, the relationship she has with her (nearly) lifelong best friend, Anne, and the lack of stable relationships with anyone else. Despite the challenges she encounters, there is one thing that stays constant - her sister, her needs, and the family's concern of her well-being. When Sullivan does focus on her sister, many of the accounts are hard to swallow, yet there are also the heartwarming and beautiful moments. To me, this gives the reader the chance to understand growing up with a handicapped sibling. Overall, even though Teresa Sullivan is able to overcome her weaknesses and become her own person and found her overall purpose in life, I still feel overwhelmingly sad for her.

The narrative left me with a lot of questions - what if the nurses had listened to Sullivan's mother and left the oxygen in the incubator alone? What if Mikey's doctors had listened to her parents when they said treatments they were prescribing weren't working? What if Mikey had gotten her eyes removed, like Mrs. Sullivan had wanted? It seems that anytime Mrs. Sullivan tried to interject with her motherly intuition she was blatantly ignored. Part of me really wonders how the Sullivan family and Mikey herself would have fared if Mrs. Sullivan had gotten her way at some point...

[Colette]

A deeply moving memoir of a developmentally delayed and blind girl whose tragic yet amazing story is told through the eyes of her sister.

Michele (Mikey) was born blind and later, the family would discover she also was developmentally delayed. Mikey was born in an era where society had very little resources to help children like her. Most children were institutionalized immediately. Since Mikey was thought to be only blind at first, they lived a fairly typical suburban life in Southern California.

It's only after Mikey became violent and the family had no other option but to institutionalize her when she reached the tween years. Life was never the same for the family. Mikey, as unstable as her behavior was seemed to have kept the family whole.

The story has many ups and downs and is beautifully told through the author's eyes.

[Lori Gilbert]

As the mother of a child with developmental delays I was hoping there was more information about Mikey. I felt the author talked about her life a lot and Mikey was kind of a background story. But I did find some of her thoughts very helpful.

[Myndi]

Mikey was born prematurely in a time when NICU’s simply didn’t have the knowledge and advancements they have today. Who knows if things would have been different for her if she’d been born a few decades later. Maybe her sight could have been saved, her brain damage avoided. Maybe things would be no different at all. Maybe she would have gotten an autism diagnosis and the critical help that goes along with it, improving her quality of life and those who cared for her. Most likely she would not have found herself forcibly institutionalized by the state, torn from her family and the only home she’d ever known, poorly placed, misunderstood, and repeatedly abused. And though, under any circumstances, her family would have been affected by her plight (it seems unlikely she’d escape the circumstances of her birth unscathed), if she’d been born today, or even a decade ago, their experience could have been vastly different as well. This is what I kept thinking as I was reading this book. How much difference a few decades makes when it comes to medical advancements. But Mikey’s circumstances are only part of this book, the meat of it is really about the impact on Mikey’s family, her sister (the author) specifically, and that is the primary reason I was interested in the book.

As the mother of two children with autism, I feel especially connected to these types of stories. I read about Mikey, and I think of my children, of my one child who is more profoundly affected (though nowhere near as affected as Mikey), and how lucky we are to live now instead of then. I read about Terry, and I think of my other children, and all the ways in which their childhood is different because of their siblings with special needs. And Mikey and Teresa’s parents, particularly her mother…I don’t know that I could have held it together the way she did, forged forward, found outlets to work through it all. It’s amazing what people are capable of. But I digress…

In the autism world, we are fortunate enough to live in a time where, despite lots of unanswered questions, things are being done – more and more studies, more and more discoveries, different types of therapies, well-educated pediatricians, more community support, and you could spend years reading books about how to deal with autism, how to live with it, how to help your child with autism, etc. And the number of firsthand accounts of living with autism are growing as children with autism flourish into adults living with autism. All of those books are helpful and insightful and needed. But I still don’t feel there is enough focus on the siblings of special needs children.

There are stories in magazines and newspapers and online zines, etc., but it is a very different thing to view a life through the lens of the person who lived it. That’s the kind of narrative that breeds understanding and empathy and hope. This book doesn’t offer is a list of things to do necessarily (though the author provides lots of resources for helping siblings at the end!), but you get a sense of what it must be like to be the sibling of someone who has exceptional needs, how it affects their outlook on life, their experience of the world, their view of themselves and their own value. Those are invaluable insights.

And Ms. Sullivan’s voice is so authentic and honest. She berates and blames no one. There is no sense of anguish or anger, no hostility or resentment, and only a healthy dose of regret, absent of any real guilt (healthy!). It’s a simple, but deep reflection on the past, how her childhood happened, what she didn’t come to realize until later. She was troubled herself, maybe would have been regardless of Mikey, and eventually found her way out, to a life that is rewarding and content, ultimately choosing a career that she might not have found herself in were it not for her sister.

While it’s clear that the path of her life was steered, in many ways, by the presence of her sister in her life, it is also abundantly clear that she is happy with where she is and owns her part in her past struggles. And in writing this memoir, she shines a lot on some of the missed opportunities, the things which her parents could have done differently that might have helped her through a challenging childhood.

I’d love to see more books like this.

Note: I received this book from the publisher via NetGalley. I pride myself on writing fair and honest reviews.

[Michelle Kidwell]

Mikey and Me

Life with My Exceptional Sister



by Teresa Sullivan

She Writes Press

Biographies & Memoirs , Parenting & Families

Pub Date 29 Aug 2017

I am reviewing a copy of Mikey and Me through She Writes Press and Netgalley:

Mikey was Teresa's older sister, but even at eight she was like a two year old. Unable to speak, brain-damaged and blind.

Michelle Colleen Sullivan, Mickey was born on February.02.1953, weighing only 2.3 pounds, a fragile baby into a fragile marriage. Back in those days when babies fought to live they were rarely touched, even nurses only touched her when it was necessary. Eleven months later Teresa was born.

At two Mikey underwent surgery for Glacoma, and for the first two and a half years she developed early and typically, but at two and a half, she spoke, even using big words like rambunctious, and would tell her Mother when her sister was crying, but then everything changed. One minute she'd be mimicking nursery rhymes and the next she started screaming and clutching her feet. She stopped speaking and became withdrawn.

Doctors encouraged their parents to instutionalize Mikey, but their Mother resisted. When Mikey was ten, with their parents marriage strained she was taken Pacific State Hospital. But after only three days of seeing how she was treated she came home.

By the time she was eleven Mickey had more bad days than good. And it became obvious they could no longer handle her care. Mickey was taken to Carmello state hospital,

As Teresa grew older she got into her share of trouble, ditching classes, dropping acid. In 1972 Teresa was in a motorcycle accident. She suffered a skull fracture, and a broken leg.

By the time Mikey was Forty, budget cuts meant that instead having a place for the blind and mentally retarded, Mikey was placed in a group for those who had severe handicaps, like those in wheelchairs.

On October.11.1997, Mikey dies.

In those powerful memoir a tribute to her sister, Teresa Sullivan takes us on a journey through the joys, and sorrows, the loss and the pain of having a severely handicap sister.

I give Mickey and Me five out of five stars.

Happy Reading!

[Vicky]

This is such a sad and uplifting story, and is a fascinating read for anybody who loves novels with a bit of everything in: love, tragedy and ultimately hope. I binge read this in two days whilst moving house and I loved it.
The story is about the Sullivan family- and about Teresa Sullivan, who painstakingly recounts her troubled childhood with her family and with her mentally disabled, blind older sister Mikey. Born into an era when most troubled children were locked away in asylums, Mikey’s parents instead chose to keep her for as long as possible, and raised her with the intention of giving her as happy a childhood as possible.
The story itself is fascinating. Teresa Sullivan takes her time setting the scene, establishing how her parents met, how unhappy their marriage was, and what happened to Mikey before she came onto the scene. She’s unflinchingly honest about everything she discusses as she recounts her childhood growing up with Mikey- the good weeks and the trips away with Mikey are given as much time as the ultimately dangerous and self-harming fits that meant she ultimately had to be sectioned. That kind of raw honesty gives the book power, and I result is gripping; it really sucks you into their lives.
As the story progresses, it becomes clear that it’s as much about Mikey’s effect on the family as it is about Mikey herself. Sullivan’s discussions of her troubled childhood and the pursuit of freedom that ultimately led her to smoking, drugs and running away, is juxtaposed with Mikey’s mistreatment at the hands of the American health system; the things that she goes through are shocking and serve as a horrible reminder of how cruel humans can be- as well as a counterpoint to Teresa’s self-inflicted spiral into drugs.
One thing I really liked about this book is how well-plotted it was; Teresa Sullivan has a calm, self-assured writing style which draws you in, and a way of writing that humanises her main characters and engages the reader, with the result that some twists in the story left me genuinely upset. The whole novel is infused with a soft nostalgia as Teresa Sullivan recounts her childhood, and I found her description of life in growing up in the age of free love almost as interesting as that of her relationship with Mikey.
Touching and tragic, Teresa Sullivan’s Mikey and Me describes very clearly how it was to grow up in the 1960s, and her account of her relationship with her sister is wonderfully well-written. She’s got a gift for committing the ordinary to paper and making it both truthful and engaging; if you want an interesting and thought-provoking read for autumn then this is it.

[Jule]

How do you review a book talking about life with a special needs sibling? Teresa Sullivan's sister was blind and, although never officially diagnosed, had autism and an intellectual disability (back then only know as "retarded"). "Mikey and Me" is emotional, honest, and difficult. It showcases nicely the inner turmoil of the family members, as well as their interpersonal relations and the problems they face with society. Specifically with Mikey being institutionalized. The lack of care and / or knowledge of the staff at some of the facilities is truly frustrating and infuriating to read about. It starts with Mikey probably going blind from too much oxygen in her incubator to ignoring serious abuse at the hands of other patients to neglect and refusal to adapt to the patient's needs. This is the 1960s and 70s, but it does not seem like the situation improved much over the years. Maybe that is the main lesson from this memoir - the bad state of health care for mentally disabled people, and the immense love a family has and shows for a child with special needs. However, in order to achieve this, I would have loved to see a little more of Mikey and a little less of "Me". Even though they are certainly heartbreaking and worthy of their own book, I did not want to hear about Teresa's drug experiences, relationships and running away from home. I do not mean to diminish those experiences, but for me personally, there was too little Mikey in this book.

I received a free copy of this book via NetGalley. I voluntarily read and reviewed this book and all opinions expressed above are my own.

[Katy O.]

A heartbreaking memoir of growing up with an exceptional sibling in the 1950s , 60's and 70s - a time when institutionalization was the norm and there was no support for or knowledge about the disabilities that Mikey lived with.

Thanks to Book Sparks for the review copy of this book - all opinions are my own.

Teresa Sullivan has shared an incredibly moving and personal story with the world, and it is a story that both enlightens and shocks. Her accounts of Mikey's challenges and the treatment her and her family were given by the medical community are simply heartbreaking, but also imperative for today's parents, teachers and medical professionals to witness as the mysteries of autism are being unlocked. We need to know how far we have come in this journey to maintain hope, but we also need to know that the challenges are still there.

As a former special education teacher, and current school librarian, I have seen over and over again the agonies faced by parents and siblings of children with exceptional needs - especially when there are violent tendencies. Sullivan provides a great service with this book by letting families know that they are not alone in their journey, and also provides a list of resources at the end of the book for families.

I highly recommend this book for fans of memoir and anyone involved in the care of our more vulnerable citizens, including the elderly. This story will stay with me for a very long time.

[FM]

This is a pretty sad book but an important one. I'm glad the author documented her family's story. Growing up with a disabled sibling in the 50s and 60s was not an era that provided support for families or even hope for the future of the child with the disability. As described in this book, Mikey both brought this family together and tore it apart--as the family was not emotionally strong or healthy enough to talk about what was happening to them.
Much of the book was about the author's own experiences growing up in California during the 60s and early 70s during a time when drugs and "hippy culture" tempted her to rebel against being the perfect child in the family.
But the sections of the book that described Mikey's institutionalization were absolutely heartbreaking. As a special ed teacher, reading about the way this child (and young woman) was treated in this facility--despite everything this family did to stop it--was horrifying to read. Absolutely devastating to read and think about--how many families went through this?
As I watch many of the health and disability services disintegrating more and more because of budget cuts I shudder to think of what may happen in the future. Who will take care of disabled adults and who will provide services so they can live with dignity and happiness? Who will advocate for them?

[Emmy]

This book is a little hard for me to rate. On the one hand, I thought it was a fascinating, heartbreaking story of a family that included a woman with profound disabilities. It was a deep story of love and advocacy, which I found very touching. But, on the other hand, there were parts that were long, dry, and a little hard to get through.

While I appreciate that the author dealt with a lot in her life, including alcohol and drug abuse, as well as a horrific traffic accident that left her with brain damage, I found myself skimming and tuning out the chapters that went on about her dysfunctional relationships, hookups, etc. I wanted to read more about Mikey.

Part of what makes the book so difficult, I think is learning about the conditions that Mikey endured. I worry about people who aren't able to advocate for themselves, and about people in helping professions who certainly don't act like they want to help. I observed this with my grandma, whose Parkinson's left her unable to communicate in traditional ways. I vividly recall many acts of unkindness and neglect from unfeeling nurses, and I can still feel my blood boil when I think about it.

So, again, this book was a mixed bag for me. A lot of good, and nothing quite bad, but just not always to my expectations.

[Renee Vercoutere]

A beautiful heartfelt read. Teresa's depth of devotion and affection for Mikey deserves applause. As a sibling, her oft unmet silent needs takes the reader on a journey into California's 60's counter culture. This is where Teresa reaches for these needs to be met, meanwhile, always returning to the core of the Sullivan's family commitment to assure Mikey she is loved. The tenderness in which this love is shown is not to be missed. Worthy as well is Teresa's unusual ability to not feel resentful towards Mikey. The resilience of these two sisters is admirable. The daunting and raw truth of Mikey's disability leaves her vulnerable to harsh realities of being in harms way via institutions. This read is a rarely discussed insight into the experiences of the internal silence siblings of those with disabilities may experience. A must read, not only family members, but anyone who has desire to open their hearts to other human beings.

[Michelle Thomas]

I have worked with children with special needs for over 20 years. Throughout these years, I have seen families addressing the unique needs of all of their children; not just the child with special needs. In this book, I felt that Teresa Sullivan acknowledged both the beauty of loving a sibling with a disability and the emotional toll it took on her family. Unfortunately, Mikey grew up in a time that did not look for ways to address her sensory needs and improve her ability to communicate. And, Teresa grew up in a time that (highly) encouraged self-medication to resolve emotional struggles. I enjoyed this book and recommend it to others! Thank you, NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to experience this book!

[Gabbi]

A sweet memoir that highlights the unfortunate lack of care given to mentally challenged people starting in the 1960s. Having an uncle who is mentally disabled myself (who was lucky enough to end up in a group home with a wonderful couple), it was interesting to read about the terrible treatment they received and heartbreaking to say the least. The author also shares how she dealt with the emotional fallout from the family dynamic that was at play and how that shaped her own childhood and life later on. A very good read.

[Janilyn Kocher]

Mikey and Me is a tender, sensitive, and troubling memoir of a woman who had a special needs older sibling. The story reveals the family's coping mechanisms and its fractures. The author discusses her rebellious years, her struggles with addiction, and finally discovering the road to recovery. It's a touching story that all readers can relate on some level. Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy.

[Tfalcone]

Thank You Net Galley for the Free Advanced reading Copy.

I think the title of this book is misleading into what kind of memoir you are getting. There was relatively little about Mikey - we meet her already in a state facility, but more about the author's struggle with drug addiction and a brain injury.

Just ok for me.

[Beverly McCabe]

Well written story of a young women struggling with difficult choices, at a critical time in her life adolescence, making both good and bad decisions. Coming out of her experiences a responsible adult with loving memories of what most of us would consider a atypical family.

[Tracy Hollen]

2.5
Maybe it was just the writing style, but the author seemed way too blasé about everything, especially the abuse her sister suffered from while in care. Or maybe there wasn’t enough information. Anyway, I found it very odd.

[Karen Germain]

Thank You to She Writes Press for providing me with an advance copy of Teresa Sullivan's memoir, Mikey and Me: Life with my Exceptional Sister, in exchange for an honest review.

PLOT - In her memoir, Mikey and Me: Life with my Exceptional Sister, Teresa Sullivan recounts growing up with her older sister, Micky, who is blind, non-verbal, and has brain damage. Although her entire family loves Mikey immensely and they do everything possible to make Mikey's life better, caring for Mikey takes a toll on everyone. Sullivan's memoir explores the impact of Mikey and how having a special needs sibling shaped her life.

LIKE - I couldn't put Sullivan's memoir down and I read it in one sitting. The specifics of Sullivan's story and her willingness to share her life in a raw, honest manner, made her memoir a page-turner. I just kept reading, because I had to know if Mikey and the rest of her family were going to be okay. It's an intense and uncertain read.

Although they try their best to keep Mikey at home, an incident occurs where the courts get involved and Mikey is placed into a facility against her families wishes. They visit her at every opportunity, including visits where she is allowed to come home for the weekend, but Mikey's placement in a facility forever changes Sullivan's family. A piece is missing without Mikey and they all feel guilt in their inability to protect her, especially when they discover that she is being abused in the system. Sullivan turns to drugs and wild behavior in her teen years, her mother gambles and has an affair, and her father turns to alcohol. The entire family dynamic breaks down. It's heartbreaking, especially the horrific abuse Mikey suffers.

Mikey and Me made me feel shattered. I finished it last week and couldn't manage to write the review until today, because I'm still deeply affected and upset by what I read.

DISLIKE- Nothing. The subject matter is tough to read, but Sullivan has written a beautiful tribute to her sister. There is so much love that she has for Mikey.

RECOMMEND- Yes. Mikey and Me is a devastating memoir, but also an important one. Although, as a society we have come a long way in understanding and integrating people with special needs ( especially during the 60's/70's where a bulk of Sullivan's memoir takes place), there is much more than should be done. Sullivan shares not only her experiences with her sister, but she speaks for other families with loved ones who have special needs. She speaks to a need for not only showing compassion and protecting, but to also inclusion for vulnerable members of our society. She also speaks for siblings, who often transition into a caregiving role as their parent's age and pass away. This is an important memoir. 

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[Clara]

Teresa Sullivan has shown extreme empathy in writing “Mickey and Me” and tells of special needs sister, Mickey’s troubles as paralleling her own. Her writing shows honesty and pain in equal measure and is a treasure to read. She asks the tough questions of what happens to siblings of special needs children and shows the cost on siblings of those children.

This book is a poignant look at siblings with special needs and should be required reading for all of us.

[Leah]

This wasn't the worst memoir I've read, nor was it the best. I almost abandoned it at one point, but pushed through and read the whole thing. It didn't flow very well and there wasn't an overall purpose, in my opinion. It seemed very scattered.

[Cynthia Nicola]

I enjoyed this memoir! It was at times hard to read because the effects of Theresa's childhood with Mikey were long lasting and I can't say that I could have done a better job than her parents did. The saddest part was while in treatment she wrote down the secret she had never told anyone and it wasn't awful but she was just so ashamed. Will recommend!

[Erika]

--I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are purely my own and not influenced in any way.--
I REALLY wish we had half stars on here, because this is a solid 3.5 for me. This book delves into the life of a neurotypical girl and how her life was influenced by her autistic sister. It was incredibly clear that throughout everything, Teresa loved Mikey and legitimately did want what was best for her. That's not to say there weren't all kinds of grief and annoyance and even possibly resentment at some point, but the sisterly bonds were there and they ran deep, and I loved reading about it. This book also surprisingly gets into the hippie and drug addiction lifestyle, which was a bit out of left field and had very little directly to do with Mikey, but there's not really a way to get out of talking about it since it is Teresa's life. Not really something I'm interested in reading about, but it was written really well. Overall, not bad, but I'm not a huge fan of reading about drugs and hippie subculture (just doesn't interest me much), but if you are, you'll probably love it!

[Ms_luv2read]

A beautifully written memoir about the author and her sister who has special needs. This is a powerful book. The way the disabled are/ were treated and just their life in general. It also gives you a look at being the sibling of one with special needs. In reading this book, I see how far we have come with diagnosis, etc. To the author, I thank you for allowing us to walk your journey, Thanks to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for the ARC of this book in return for my honest review.