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The Bad Dream Notebook: A Novel
John and Erica Mason-Grey are hard-working artists and loving parents--but when John dies, their teenage daughter Mona's casual drug use spirals into heroin addiction. She and her mother soon begin an anguished game of hide-and-seek leading to countless arguments, arrests, thefts, rehabs, and relapse, a recurring nightmare that seems to have no end. Ultimately, it's only when each of them finds a way to accept their new reality--Mona by taking charge of her own recovery, and Erica by focusing on her own vitality--that each experiences the unexpected joy and renewal that await those who decide to stop living in the bad dream of addiction. Unflinching about the ways the disease of addiction can torpedo a family yet leavened with dollops of humor, The Bad Dream Notebook will resonate with anyone who has lived through the agony of a loved one's drug dependency.
248 pages, Paperback
Published August 1, 2017
342 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
October 5, 2017
“That’s what Americans are supposed to do. There’s no excuse for hanging on to negative emotions in this country.”
The Bad Dream Notebook is a novel about grief, loss, addiction and recovery. Erica Mason just lost her husband. Her daughter Mona just lost her dad. Chronic back pain turned out to be terminal cancer.
The book starts after John’s death, with Erica doing community service. Except, it isn’t her crimes she’s doing penance for. It’s Mona’s.
From the beginning, we get the sense of grief Erica is under. Her grief is not just for her husband. But for the daughter she lost as well. Mona is alive and kicking, but addiction has taken her away from Erica nonetheless.
“Living with an addicted child is a form of warfare leading almost inevitably to some form of PTSD.”
Its difficult for Erica to simply grieve for John. She feels guilty for the days leading to his death, as most people struggling with long-term illness do. Did she do enough? Did she make the right decisions?
Those emotions alone would be difficult enough to deal with. But you add in her daughter’s spiraling addiction, which triggers it’s own whirlwind of guilt and grief, and Erica is struggling to keep herself together.
“If one more person asked how she was feeling these blank, black days, she fantasized about turning on them like a wild animal, screaming.”
All of these emotions weigh heavily on Erica, and since she struggles to deal with them consciously, her subconscious takes over. In order to make sense of her dreams, she begins to keep a notebook. Sometimes written descriptions, sometimes fast sketches, but she keeps them in order to make sense of them.
We get the book not just through Erica’s memories and perspective, but we also get a few chapters via Mona. The transition from memory to present is a little jarring at times, and I did find myself having to backtrack and reread to figure out the timeline quite a few times. It could have been written that way deliberately, as a way to show the erratic nature of Erica’s mind and how seamlessly she slipped into memory versus staying in the present. If so, it does give us the jarring effect of how living with the stress of illness, both John’s cancer and Mona’s addiction can wreak havoc on everyone in the house.
We get a very really sense of the difficulty in having an addicted child. Erica displays very codependent behaviors. Some of these are surprising given her own experiences with addiction, but perhaps not so surprising. Mona is her only child. After losing her husband, the fear of losing her child and really becoming alone must feel so big and terrifying to Erica.
“That’s my girl. Mona Grey, their, liar, unemployed – unemployable – dropout, skin-and-bones nightmare of a daughter. Who I produced. My fault. My misery. My little girl.”
It’s true that both an addict and the people that surround them need to hit rock bottom before change happens. Dahl takes us through how bad life can get before that bottom is hit. For both Erica and for Mona. Because it isn’t just the addict that addiction impacts. It effects everyone around them. Dahl captures the horror and helplessness that fuels both of their negative spiraling emotions.
The Bad Dream Notebook is a very raw, emotional journey into the pain that many people struggle with every day. At times infuriating, at times heartbreaking, Dahl doesn’t try to sugar coat the emotions or decisions that both Erica and Mona make.
I did like how each chapter gave us a glimpse into some of the dreams that both Erica and Mona had. They are brief and give us more a feel of the nightmares rather than the details, which I really liked, since that’s how most people remember their dreams. In snippets and snapshots.
This book may be difficult for people who have either struggled with addition, or known someone close who has struggled. It may also be hard if you’re going through any kind of grief. But, this is a book that may also help examine your own internal thoughts and feelings. Sometimes reading a similar experience can help us not feel so alone.
Thank you BookSparks and She Writes Press for sending me a copy to read and review as part of FRC 2017!
The Bad Dream Notebook is a novel about grief, loss, addiction and recovery. Erica Mason just lost her husband. Her daughter Mona just lost her dad. Chronic back pain turned out to be terminal cancer.
The book starts after John’s death, with Erica doing community service. Except, it isn’t her crimes she’s doing penance for. It’s Mona’s.
From the beginning, we get the sense of grief Erica is under. Her grief is not just for her husband. But for the daughter she lost as well. Mona is alive and kicking, but addiction has taken her away from Erica nonetheless.
“Living with an addicted child is a form of warfare leading almost inevitably to some form of PTSD.”
Its difficult for Erica to simply grieve for John. She feels guilty for the days leading to his death, as most people struggling with long-term illness do. Did she do enough? Did she make the right decisions?
Those emotions alone would be difficult enough to deal with. But you add in her daughter’s spiraling addiction, which triggers it’s own whirlwind of guilt and grief, and Erica is struggling to keep herself together.
“If one more person asked how she was feeling these blank, black days, she fantasized about turning on them like a wild animal, screaming.”
All of these emotions weigh heavily on Erica, and since she struggles to deal with them consciously, her subconscious takes over. In order to make sense of her dreams, she begins to keep a notebook. Sometimes written descriptions, sometimes fast sketches, but she keeps them in order to make sense of them.
We get the book not just through Erica’s memories and perspective, but we also get a few chapters via Mona. The transition from memory to present is a little jarring at times, and I did find myself having to backtrack and reread to figure out the timeline quite a few times. It could have been written that way deliberately, as a way to show the erratic nature of Erica’s mind and how seamlessly she slipped into memory versus staying in the present. If so, it does give us the jarring effect of how living with the stress of illness, both John’s cancer and Mona’s addiction can wreak havoc on everyone in the house.
We get a very really sense of the difficulty in having an addicted child. Erica displays very codependent behaviors. Some of these are surprising given her own experiences with addiction, but perhaps not so surprising. Mona is her only child. After losing her husband, the fear of losing her child and really becoming alone must feel so big and terrifying to Erica.
“That’s my girl. Mona Grey, their, liar, unemployed – unemployable – dropout, skin-and-bones nightmare of a daughter. Who I produced. My fault. My misery. My little girl.”
It’s true that both an addict and the people that surround them need to hit rock bottom before change happens. Dahl takes us through how bad life can get before that bottom is hit. For both Erica and for Mona. Because it isn’t just the addict that addiction impacts. It effects everyone around them. Dahl captures the horror and helplessness that fuels both of their negative spiraling emotions.
The Bad Dream Notebook is a very raw, emotional journey into the pain that many people struggle with every day. At times infuriating, at times heartbreaking, Dahl doesn’t try to sugar coat the emotions or decisions that both Erica and Mona make.
I did like how each chapter gave us a glimpse into some of the dreams that both Erica and Mona had. They are brief and give us more a feel of the nightmares rather than the details, which I really liked, since that’s how most people remember their dreams. In snippets and snapshots.
This book may be difficult for people who have either struggled with addition, or known someone close who has struggled. It may also be hard if you’re going through any kind of grief. But, this is a book that may also help examine your own internal thoughts and feelings. Sometimes reading a similar experience can help us not feel so alone.
Thank you BookSparks and She Writes Press for sending me a copy to read and review as part of FRC 2017!
September 30, 2017
Reviewed by Sheri Hoyte for Reader Views (9/17)
“The Bad Dream Notebook” by Linda Dahl is a haunting, eye-opening novel about the absolute tragedy of addiction, the grief of loss, and the struggle to climb out of the depths of despair and hopelessness, toward a healthy, productive life.
Erica Mason has a seemingly perfect life–until everything falls apart. With the death of her husband and her teen-aged daughter’s escalating drug problem, every day is a challenge and she’d not sure how much more she can take. Though Erica has years in recovery from her own addiction, she is ill-prepared to help her daughter Mona. Her co-dependency, enabling, and utter blind-spot of anything having to do with Mona, could be the ultimate undoing of them both.
I found “The Bad Dream Notebook” to be a very engrossing read. It enraged, surprised, and filled me with both despair and hope on almost every page. Honestly, it is a hard story to stomach, as the author draws the reader into the dark world of addition with harrowing depictions inside the mind of the addict and those that love them.
I enjoyed the concept of each chapter beginning with a dream sequence. It set the tone for consistency and I’ve always been a fan of the journal entry approach. The dreams are dark and disturbing, and infuse a brief moment of disorientation– much like when you awaken suddenly from a dream that was so vivid, yet you can’t remember what happened to save your life!
The characters are as authentic as they are maddening. The actions of both Erica and Mona had me fuming many times, actually repeatedly throughout the book. I truly can’t say which one of them presented the most irritating and outrageous behavior: Mona’s attitude, treatment towards her mother, and the lengths she would go to in order to “score,” or Erica’s complete enmeshment with Mona and the things she did to enable her daughter’s actions. Aaarrgghh! Great writing!
I recommend “The Bad Dream Notebook” by Linda Dahl to anyone who has ever been through, or knows someone who has experienced the turmoil of addiction, as well as anyone with an interest in the topic. It is an insightful, honest, and compelling story that will at first break your heart, then deepen your compassion, and finally, restore hope.
“The Bad Dream Notebook” by Linda Dahl is a haunting, eye-opening novel about the absolute tragedy of addiction, the grief of loss, and the struggle to climb out of the depths of despair and hopelessness, toward a healthy, productive life.
Erica Mason has a seemingly perfect life–until everything falls apart. With the death of her husband and her teen-aged daughter’s escalating drug problem, every day is a challenge and she’d not sure how much more she can take. Though Erica has years in recovery from her own addiction, she is ill-prepared to help her daughter Mona. Her co-dependency, enabling, and utter blind-spot of anything having to do with Mona, could be the ultimate undoing of them both.
I found “The Bad Dream Notebook” to be a very engrossing read. It enraged, surprised, and filled me with both despair and hope on almost every page. Honestly, it is a hard story to stomach, as the author draws the reader into the dark world of addition with harrowing depictions inside the mind of the addict and those that love them.
I enjoyed the concept of each chapter beginning with a dream sequence. It set the tone for consistency and I’ve always been a fan of the journal entry approach. The dreams are dark and disturbing, and infuse a brief moment of disorientation– much like when you awaken suddenly from a dream that was so vivid, yet you can’t remember what happened to save your life!
The characters are as authentic as they are maddening. The actions of both Erica and Mona had me fuming many times, actually repeatedly throughout the book. I truly can’t say which one of them presented the most irritating and outrageous behavior: Mona’s attitude, treatment towards her mother, and the lengths she would go to in order to “score,” or Erica’s complete enmeshment with Mona and the things she did to enable her daughter’s actions. Aaarrgghh! Great writing!
I recommend “The Bad Dream Notebook” by Linda Dahl to anyone who has ever been through, or knows someone who has experienced the turmoil of addiction, as well as anyone with an interest in the topic. It is an insightful, honest, and compelling story that will at first break your heart, then deepen your compassion, and finally, restore hope.
October 6, 2017
Full review at http://www.tomesandtequila.com/2017/1...
This book definitely shows what I feel is a fairly accurate portrayal of addiction and it's impact on your loved ones. Try as she might, Erica just can't cut her daughter off...mainly because she feels that Mona is all she has left in the world. So Mona continually lies and steals from her, causing one heartache after another...and Erica just takes it. They argue, make up...and then it starts all over again. It is not a lighthearted story, and if your life has been touched by addiction at all, it will probably hit close to home and might not be an easy read.
But the novel didn't move me in the way I thought it would. I expected to have an emotional response, and instead I found myself nitpicking dialogue and I never quite got fully immersed in the story. It just didn't suck me in like it should have...and I love reading dysfunctional family stories. It had the feel of a first draft, and not a finished product. And I feel like a horrible person putting that thought out there for the world to read, but the idea was great...plot was great...it just wasn't executed as tightly as it should've been, in my opinion.
I hate writing less than stellar reviews. I'd much prefer to tell y'all how magnificent I thought something was.
But, if you find the story line interesting, I'd definitely give this book a shot. It's not a bad book by any means, I think maybe my response has more to do with how much I LOVED the books I read around this one than anything else. And I would still give it a 3 out of 5.
A huge thank you though to Booksparks for sending the book my way! I can't wait to read the next selection.
This book definitely shows what I feel is a fairly accurate portrayal of addiction and it's impact on your loved ones. Try as she might, Erica just can't cut her daughter off...mainly because she feels that Mona is all she has left in the world. So Mona continually lies and steals from her, causing one heartache after another...and Erica just takes it. They argue, make up...and then it starts all over again. It is not a lighthearted story, and if your life has been touched by addiction at all, it will probably hit close to home and might not be an easy read.
But the novel didn't move me in the way I thought it would. I expected to have an emotional response, and instead I found myself nitpicking dialogue and I never quite got fully immersed in the story. It just didn't suck me in like it should have...and I love reading dysfunctional family stories. It had the feel of a first draft, and not a finished product. And I feel like a horrible person putting that thought out there for the world to read, but the idea was great...plot was great...it just wasn't executed as tightly as it should've been, in my opinion.
I hate writing less than stellar reviews. I'd much prefer to tell y'all how magnificent I thought something was.
But, if you find the story line interesting, I'd definitely give this book a shot. It's not a bad book by any means, I think maybe my response has more to do with how much I LOVED the books I read around this one than anything else. And I would still give it a 3 out of 5.
A huge thank you though to Booksparks for sending the book my way! I can't wait to read the next selection.
August 22, 2017
Erica Mason-Grey is an alcoholic in recovery. She is an artist and recent widow. Her teenage daughter Mona is a heroin addict. Erica and Mona live through the familiar problems of the lies, the thefts, the arguments, the arrests, the rehabs, and the relapses most families of addicts know. Erica knows what she should do, but Mona has become Erica's new DOC, and her enabling only assists in Mona's downward spiral. a recurring nightmare that seems to have no end. Finally when each accepts their responsibility in creating the Bad Dream which their life has become, they can finally begin the process of healing, a process that for each of them involves art. I did not enjoy this book, the subject matter at times hit too close to home, but it was very real and accurate. Chapters were short making it easily readable.
September 2, 2017
This book is about addiction and the effects it can have on not only the addicted, but, those that love them ie: family and friends. Erica is an alcoholic and her daughter Mary, is also an addict. With the death of Erica's husband, Mary's addiction goes downhill. This book emphasizes what goes on in addiction, what addiction can bring but most of all what can happen when one takes stock of their circumstances. Very good book, I really was pleased with this book. Thanks to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for the ARC of this book in return for my honest review.
October 31, 2017
Linda Dahl has written a splendidly candid and honest portrayal of loss and addiction. This novel is not one that treads lightly when it comes to addiction as we get to see both of our main characters deal with their own demons. What I truly liked about this one was that Dahl does not hold back. The outbursts, the withdrawal, the honesty...it's all there and it's realistically beautiful and sad. While Erica is reserved and seems to hold more of her feelings in for the reader to digest, Mona is an against-the-grain rebellious teenager who is lost.
Addiction isn't the only subject matter as we see both women try to battle demons and deal with addiction, but also get a poignant and heartbreaking look into their feelings of loss due to the death of Erica's husband and Mona's father. These scenes are beautifully painted full of sorrow, confusion, and anger.
This whole novel is built on honesty. Honest for the how well the characters are written and how beautifully crafted this story is. The two characters battling addiction are portrayed gorgeously and Dahl does not tread lightly with the harrowing reality of meetings, rehab, and relapsing. This novel is beautiful and yet anxious, sad, and leaves you longing to skip ahead twenty years and find out how this all plays out. My personal favorite aspect was the brutal nightmares that begin each chapter, leaving the reader with no questions unanswered and no feelings unfelt. A truly dark and disastrously amazing novel for any fan of good writing, this one is one to not leave on your bookshelf for too long.
Special thanks to BookSparks for providing me with a copy in exchange for my honest review.
Addiction isn't the only subject matter as we see both women try to battle demons and deal with addiction, but also get a poignant and heartbreaking look into their feelings of loss due to the death of Erica's husband and Mona's father. These scenes are beautifully painted full of sorrow, confusion, and anger.
This whole novel is built on honesty. Honest for the how well the characters are written and how beautifully crafted this story is. The two characters battling addiction are portrayed gorgeously and Dahl does not tread lightly with the harrowing reality of meetings, rehab, and relapsing. This novel is beautiful and yet anxious, sad, and leaves you longing to skip ahead twenty years and find out how this all plays out. My personal favorite aspect was the brutal nightmares that begin each chapter, leaving the reader with no questions unanswered and no feelings unfelt. A truly dark and disastrously amazing novel for any fan of good writing, this one is one to not leave on your bookshelf for too long.
Special thanks to BookSparks for providing me with a copy in exchange for my honest review.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews