The New Old Me: My Late-Life Reinvention

by Meredith Maran

“A funny, seasoned take on dashed illusions.”—O Magazine “I love everything Meredith Maran writes. She is insightful, funny, and human, and the things she writes about matter to me deeply. Her memoir, The New Old Me, is a book I don’t just want to read—I need to read it. So does everyone else who’s getting older and wants to live fully, with immediacy and enjoyment, which is to say, everyone.”—Anne Lamott, author of Hallelujah AnywayFor readers of Anne Lamott, Abigail Thomas, and Ayelet Waldman comes one woman's lusty, kickass, post-divorce memoir of starting over at 60 in youth-obsessed, beauty-obsessed Hollywood.After the death of her best friend, the loss of her life’s savings, and the collapse of her once-happy marriage, Meredith Maran leaves her San Francisco freelance writer’s life for a 9-to-5 job in Los Angeles. Determined to rebuild not only her savings but also herself while relishing the joys of life in La-La land, Maran writes “a poignant story, a funny story, a moving story, and above all an American story of what it means to be a woman of a certain age in our time” (Christina Baker Kline, number-one New York Times–bestselling author of Orphan Train).Praise for The New Old “High time we had a book that celebrates becoming an elder! Meredith Maran writes of the difficulties of loss and change and aging, but makes it clear that getting on can be more interesting, more fun, and a lot more exciting than youth.”—Abigail Thomas, author of the New York Times bestseller What Comes Next and How to Like It “By turns poignant and funny, the book not only shows how one feisty woman coped with a ‘Plan B life’ she didn't want or expect with a little help from her friends. It also celebrates how she transformed uncertainty into a glorious opportunity for continued late-life personal growth. A spirited and moving memoir about how ‘it's never too late to try something new.’”—Kirkus

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography Memoir, Biography, LGBT, Womens, Queer

301 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 14, 2017

About the author

MEREDITH MARAN is the author of more than a dozen nonfiction books, including Why We Write About Ourselves, Why We Write, and My Lie; and the acclaimed 2012 novel, A Theory of Small Earthquakes. She's a book critic and essayist for newspapers and magazines including the Los Angeles Times, the Boston Globe, the Chicago Tribune, The Los Angeles Review of Books, and Salon.com. The recipient of fellowships from the MacDowell Colony and Yaddo, and a member of the National Book Critics Circle, Meredith lives in a restored historic bungalow in Los Angeles.

Reviews

[Kathleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good writer can keep you engaged despite the subject matter. This is the first book I've read by Meredith Maran and she is clearly a talented writer. The book begins with her leaving her home in Oakland to start a new job, separated from her wife but desperate to get back together. She writes a lot about grief - the grief of separation from her relationship, the loss of her father with Alzheimer's, the death of a dear friend. Grief is a subject I can relate to, and I was interested to read the challenges of reinventing herself, but there just wasn't enough there to keep me fully engaged. I found myself checking the page numbers, ready to close the book on her story because I found it to be repetitive, and I guess I didn't feel like I shared her values. I admit that I've never experienced divorce the way that she has, although I've had my fair share of breakups. Even years after her relationship ended, she was so hung up on her ex that it was hard to empathize any more. Her best friend passing away, her father's Alzheimers, and other challenges she mentions throughout the book seemed to weigh more heavily on me, the reader, than they did on her as she was more focused on her relationship with her ex-wife. Her tone was self-deprecating at times and I appreciate that she is open about her flaws and characteristics that led her toward this need for reinvention, but after a while I felt like I was reading someone else's therapy. It seems to me that she wrote this more for herself to work through some things, and less so for entertainment or entlightenment for a mass audience. I think it felt better for her to write it all out than it did for me to read it.

Thank you to the Penguin Random House First to Read program for providing me with an advance digital copy of this book for review.

[Michele Menard · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you aren't in this headspace - starting over at the age of 60+, you will find this to be a well-written memoir, so if you like memoirs, read it. If you ARE in this space, by choice or chance, you will LOVE this book, and probably highlight, underline and margin-write like crazy.

[Lorilin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meredith Maran is having a rough time. She's sixty-something and pining for her ex-wife. Her best friend dies. Her father is in the process of dying. She has no money. And she has no idea how to deal with any of it so she can move on. But move on she does, and this is her recollection of a three-year period when she is basically forced to take stock and rebuild her self and her life from the ground up.

 *   *   *   *   *

Good Lord, there is a lot of grief and loss in this book. Thank goodness for the few moments of neutral and sometimes even funny asides or else The New Old Me would be an overwhelming downer. I know that this is life. We are born to love and to lose. But this memoir is hit after hit, and it got to be a bit much. By the time I started reading about Maran's dissatisfying (but, from my perspective, not really so bad?) relationship with her new girlfriend, I was emotionally spent.

Don't get me wrong, Maran is a wonderful writer---insightful and bracingly honest---and I appreciate her willingness to put it all out there. I only wish there had been a little more joy included in her stories. I am certain other readers will feel differently, but, for me, this book was just so depressing.

ARC provided through Net Galley.

See more of my reviews at www.BugBugBooks.com.

[Bonnie Plante · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received an advance reading copy of this book through Penguin's First to Read program.

From the First to Read website - The New Old Me by Meredith Maran is
"For readers of Anne Lamott, Abigail Thomas, and Ayelet Waldman, a “lusty, kickass*” post-divorce memoir, one woman’s story of starting over at 60—in youth-obsessed, beauty-obsessed Hollywood."

I enjoyed this book but I didn't love it. It was inspiring to read how Meredith navigated the changing waters of her life. However, much of the time I just wanted to shake her and say "suck it up buttercup!" As a woman not too many years younger, I can absolutely relate to having to compete with younger, prettier & healthier women in order to feel "relevant." Still, no one forced her to choose the life she was living. Her choices were hers and hers alone. And while I commend her for being true to herself, I felt like she did an awful lot of whining along the way. I suppose that her journey is the point of the book though, so I can forgive her for it. Would I read this book again? Probably not. I would however recommend it to someone going through a major life change - for perspective as well as for a chance to wallow in someone else's drama for a while.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

While I started reading THE NEW OLD ME in small doses on my lunchbreaks, I recently had the opportunity to have a day off to fully dive in. The details of our lives and experiences are different, but I just loved the universals that were in it, that human element of YESSSS! The spirit with which Meredith Maran shares her internal monologue and the realness of her experiences, thoughts, and feelings was so refreshing, and I think this is what made it so relatable. Thank you, Meredith, for such a wonderful read!

[Sue Dix · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another ARC. I really loved this book! It starts slowly, but it is well written and very relatable. It is painfully honest in dealing with the author's grief but it will stay with me for some time.

[Francie · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I received this ARC from Penguin's First To Read program, I was skeptical about finding much to relate to in Meredith Maran's memoir beyond the similarity in our age. How wrong I was! Maran tells the story of her "late-life reinvention" with honesty and humor. Reading about her learning to navigate the hazards of divorce, job loss, deaths of close family and friends, break-ups and trying not to lose her balance while doing so was captivating and instructive. Maran offers her readers valuable life lessons, yet not only avoids being preachy, but also maintains her sense of humor. I highly recommend this book to all ages, but especially to those adjusting to "late-life" challenges. Thank you to Penguin's First To Read program for introducing me to Meredith Maran.

[Suzanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meredith Maran has written an interesting but highly restricted personal reflection on her post divorce life. She chose to write about three years immediately after she drives away from the home she has lived in for 20-odd years, 15 of them in a marriage while raising children. Early on she tells readers that she will not speak of her children, her former marriage partner or most of her friends. She only wants to write about her personal journey in very specific ways. In making that decision, she removes a level of intimacy that would have improved the reading experience and made the overall story more complete. While the anecdotes were good, they remained just that: anecdotes isolated from a sense of an overarching story. The book also suffers from the age 60 marketing hype; I wish she had something special to offer about the greying Boomer facing post divorce years alone. But Meredith's issues weren't that different from what a 45 or 55 year old's would have been. I received my copy from Penguin's First to Read Program.

[Patricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full of feeling, read by the perfect narrator who articulates the many emotional upheavals, the fears, the growth.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Meredith Maran is charming, candid, sharp and observant. But her real genius is in turning a story of grief into a deeply moving story of resilience, humor, love and reinvention. As the story begins, she has lost her wife, her money and her best friend, and over the course of the book, she loses her father. As Maran struggles to understand why her marriage ended, she gives up her life as a freelance writer and political activist, moves out of her lovely Victorian home in Northern California, and goes to work at a women's clothing company in L.A., where she couch-surfs with friends. This beautiful, poignant book is also funny as hell. You don’t have to be gay, straight, married or divorced to like this memoir. You just have to revel in great writing. There are so many gorgeous sentences, and so many witty observations, it's hard to include them all but here is a sample:

"Since age fifteen, I’ve been burying my emptiness under the rock of marriage. That rock has rolled. There’s no one left to fill that space. My own efforts will have to do.”

“Or maybe my usual defenses, judgments and desperation have fallen through the cracks in my broken-open heart.”

“My father was a Madison Avenue ad man, Don Draper without the booze or the cigarettes or the style. His longing to be a real writer went underground in him and resurfaced in me. “

“I’m blessed and cursed with a journalist’s nosy nose.”

“Hello God? It’s me Meredith. Where’s my serenity? “

“Loss is a slow, slow walk. I’ve been sad about my dad for a long time. Now I miss him every day.”

“Biggest. Surprise. Ever. That cheery feminist crap is true. For the first time since childhood, I’m responsible to no one. I can be Helena’s girlfriend or break with her without upsetting my kids or my own living situation or my finances. I can make money or rest on whatever laurels I’ve got without depriving anyone of anything. I can binge-watch Girls till midnight or go to sleep at nine. The bad news and the good news is the same. I have nothing and no one to lose.”

“Even before I open my eyes, waking up on this birthday feels different. The solitary day I’ve planned is a long, quiet tunnel, one way in, one way out no interventions. No one around me knows, so no one will disappoint or rescue me. The day will be as pleasant or as unpleasant as I choose to make it.”

“I force my focus to the spicy snap of the pine needles shattering beneath my wheels.”

“Her eagerness to escape the emotions of the moment makes me smile.”

[Melinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

At age 60, Meredith Maran's life is over. Her marriage has fallen apart, her bank account is empty, and she's forced to leave the Bay Area for Los Angeles. There, she enters a glossy new world, where her colleagues are a fraction of her age and a fraction of her weight; where driving two miles takes two hours; and where fitness programs, plastic surgery, and $2,200 studios run rampant.

Maran is still heart-broken over her wife — the character who remains forever unnamed, like Invisible Man's narrator ("I call out my wife's name" / "I tell him my name") — and her sadness is raw and palpable. Her writing is compulsively readable, a healthy mix of snark with the self-pity, whether she's detailing a gruesome trip to the ER, her first day in gridlock traffic, or the pain of couchsurfing at a stranger's. It's her witty, yet emotional narration that kept me engaged in the story for over 300 pages.

As time passes, she slowly adjusts to life in L.A., building new and always intense friendships — "Each friend represents a world in us," Maran quotes Anaïs Nin, because she "live[s] for those new worlds" — and venturing slowly into the housing and dating worlds.

The New Old Me isn't just the story of Maran's mid-life transformation; it's also a love letter to Los Angeles. Through her descriptions of the balmy air, the glorious views, I started thinking, Have I misjudged L.A.? Is it actually a place worth living? Ultimately, I wasn't convinced; the botox and liposuction and waxing and celebrities and valet parking and endless worship of young and thin also feature prominently in the memoir — and even starry-eyed Maran can't spin those as entrancing attributes of a city and culture.

Her memoir is also the story of the Bay Area. Even though the book opens in L.A., it's about Maran's shift from one world — North Oakland, Occupy marches, and wedded bliss — to her new life in Los Angeles. I loved the details; her stories are firmly embedded in their locations, whether it's the image of lesbian and gay couples lining up to get married at the Alameda County Clerk-Recorder's Office in 2008 or that of the Hollywood skyline coming into view on Highway 101.

Note: I received an advance readers copy from the publisher. Quotes used in this review are not intended to be word-for-word citations.

[Ceillie Simkiss · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked this book, but there were several things that really bothered me about it.
Read my full review here!

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a memoir about starting over at 60, which is definitely a scary prospect. The author does a very good job of conveying the fear and loathing she experiences after being tossed out by her wife and having to relocate to LA where she finds herself in a new job surrounded by a bunch of 30-year-old fashionistas who refuse to acknowledge her presence. Maran is not without fault -- she has some very high standards and she tends to whine a whole lot about the unfairness of the hand she was dealt. I especially cringed at the number of times she called and left messages for her ex-wife who -- let's face it -- was just not into her anymore. I did however, appreciate the author's honesty and willingness to tell it like it is.

Whatever you do, avoid the audio version of this book. The reader is prone to high pitched squeals of enthusiasm that will keep your hand trained on the volume knob in anticipation of the assault on your ears.

[Amanda (Smitten For Fiction) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Meredith Maran's newest book, a fresh-authentic-inspiring biographical memoir, was released today, The New Old Me: My Late-Life Reinvention. It talks about life's biggest themes: friendship, divorce, marriage, love, healing, human rights, loving the place you live, aging, plastic surgery, alcohol, grief, happiness, and never being too old to try something new. I laughed, I cried, I devoured this novel in half a day. I was sent a DRC copy of this book by PENGUIN GROUP Blue Rider Press & Plume for review. Because I have an advanced copy, I cannot share my favourite quotes -but I will say there were many. I loved the many different characters we met, and Meredith's journey through her trip from glass empty to the glass half full.

[Lissa00 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Meredith Maran was sixty-two when she divorced her wife and started a new job in a new city. Far from friends and felling bereft and alone, she is forced to evaluate her own ideas of friendship. Even though I am very different form the author, I found her later in life reinvention reassuring and affirming. I made the mistake of researching the author and found she had a troubling period in her past that she completely leaves out in this book, which is probably for the best. Taken alone, this book is an inspiring read for women in all stages of life. I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meredith has been married to a woman for many years but she finds herself single. She moves to Los Angeles and begins her life anew with a new job at a company with many younger people, and basically a new life. She tries to deal with her ailing father and picks up the pieces of her broken marriage while trying to begin navigating the dating field. This memoir is one of self discovery. The writing is totally solid, but I had some trouble relating to some of the content.

[Christine Pefley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book spoke to me

58, my husband of 25 years died 9 months ago and I am still completely lost and bereft. Have been reading everything I can find and stumbled upon this little gem. Meredith's journey and honesty really moved me. Spoiler alert - the best line in the book "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with. The one I am with would be me." I would love to meet Hannah. Can Hannah come and visit me please?

[Randa Fish · Rating 3 out of 5]

Despite what life throws at you pick yourself up and move on? To LA? She has left the Bay Area after the breakup with her wife for LA, a new job, new friends, new life! At times she is innovative, courageous, whiny,needy, sad, happy...... I will say her writing is engaging and for the most part I enjoyed the journey.

[Ellen Kirschman]

Meredith's memoir of moving to L.A. from the Bay Area at 60 after her marriage failed is a tale of grit, guts, and optimism. It's funny, touching, and filled with bits of wisdom about starting over and letting go.

[Dawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was going to give this a 3 star, based solely, I realize now, on the fact it took me 10 days to read it. Then I noticed my notes, and all the quotes that I loved...and I know there were a lot more I enjoyed too. It's a 4 star for sure, I've just been distracted by lots of other things in the past 10 days leaving little time to read.

Meredith is an author who, at age 62, is grieving the end of marriage to her wife, the love of her life. She moves from northern California to LA for a job and in hopes of rebuilding her life. Along the way she meets many people who help her process her loss, and in turn she learns to provide help to many of them.

Some of her words that touched me most surrounded her father's death:

"My father doesn't know whether it's day or night or what country he lives in or which of his wives he's married to, but his sense of humor survives. All my life he's been transfusing it to me. I won't always have my father, but I'll always have that."

"My dad smiles at me, and the whole six decade story of us is in that smile."

And toward the end of the book, when she's contemplating her best LA friend leaving town:

""Look at the view," I say, pretending to study the pictures on Hannah's screen, while wondering if I will ever lose anything again without body-slamming into the memory of losing everything."

And lastly - "Being sixty means never having to say you're sorry for wanting it all, and going for as much as you can."

Perhaps I enjoyed this so much because she's my age, and starting her life over again, and again. And she's thriving, though she admits it takes a long time.

She writes beautifully, sometimes humorously, always authentically.

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this memoir of a writer who finds herself having to start over after the age of 60 after breaking up with her wife, and losing a close friend and her money, all at basically the same time. She ends up moving from Berkeley to Los Angeles, where she gets a job as a writer for a clothing firm, giving her a salary and benefits for the first time, but also leaving her surrounded by 30-somethings, who don't have much interest in socializing with her. Luckily, as she says, being over 60 she knows lots of people, and putting out the call through email and other friends, she finds lots of compatible friends, although finding new love is more difficult. Although fortunately I am not trying to start a new career or relationship, I could relate to some of her feelings about being over 60 and invisible to large segments of the population. I also enjoyed the references to her life growing up in the 60's as a person with a social conscience which she never lost, and the her descriptions of living in LA. Somehow reading a good memoir is a sort of a guilty pleasure of seeing how other people live, and this is a good one. I'm curious now to read more of her books.

[Deborah · Rating 5 out of 5]

In regards to books and films, a wise person once said to me: "It's not in the tale, it's in the telling". Meredith Maran's story creeps into one's consciousness on little cat feet: quietly and with dignity-- especially avoiding innumerable opportunities towards the tawdry. Reading The New Old Me is akin to being seated on a long airplane flight with someone extremely interesting, insightful, fun, and honest, who wants to have a meaningful conversation on the way. I admire Meredith's ability to avoid overly dramatic devices to make more exciting scenes that are quietly sad, moving, and important. As a woman, I am encouraged by her vitality and feel a privileged on-looker to her journey. This book is to be savored, to be read slowly and considered, as an adjunct to one's own consciousness.

[Laura Sturza · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a bighearted tale of aging stylishly and on one's own terms. At times I raced through this raucous and heartfelt book, I was so excited to see what would happen next. At other points, I slowed down to savor its humor and sweetness. Ms. Maran has written a book that beautifully weaves in stories of the people she loves the most. When she loses some of her dearest ones through death and divorce, she leaves her beloved Bay Area home to embark on a self-discovery journey in Los Angeles. The book is a valentine to LA (as a heartsick former Angeleno, her spot-on descriptions made me swoon). It's also a love letter to the glorious community of friends she attracts, and ultimately, a love note to herself. By unabashedly facing the truth of what's most important to her and going after her big dreams while in the glory of her "late-life", she gives readers permission to do the same.

[Tina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really didn’t like this book.....

Until the very last chapter, I did not much like this book. Here is an older woman who whines about everything; lamenting that her wife had divorced her and she just couldn’t get over it. Enjoyed alcohol and casual sex and then complained about her life. She was not comfortable in her own skin. She wanted someone else to make her happy. I was surprised that her friends didn’t just dump her ass over her whining and drinking. In the last chapter, I think she found herself. At least I hope so. That last chapter made me rate the book with 3 stars rather than 2.

[Kai · Rating 4 out of 5]

Starting over and reinventing yourself is never easy. It helps when you have friends and family but, still, loss is loss. Everything is raw. You're broken and have to find your way back some how. In this book, the author openly shares her flaws, her fears, her aha moments, her laughter...her journey. I think many people, including myself, can relate. Good stuff.

[Terry Clayton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful

It is a testament to the power of Maran's writing when a 68 year old straight white Protestant man living in Northeast Thailand can relate to a Jewish lesbian in Los Angeles.

[Krystin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read it for a book challenge was surprised that I enjoyed it as much as I did. It does deal with a LGBTQ lifestyle, which I struggled with.

[Susan A. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good life lessons for anyone going through some kind of transition.

[Patricia B. Tozier · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another "Eat, Sleep, Pray" it's all about poor me book.

[Terri · Rating 3 out of 5]

GOODREADS GIVEAWAY!! thank you!

love the way the author writes! This one made me laugh out loud several times!