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Healing Hearts #1
No Regrets
He was supposed to be a one-night stand!
Landon doesn’t have time for love. Literally. After being given a terminal diagnosis, he is living on borrowed time. Determined to make the best of the life he has left, Landon makes a bucket list of all the things he wants to accomplish before he dies.
Big and small. It all counts.
Abel was supposed to be nothing more than a tick on that list. A random, faceless hook-up in a country far from home. Besides, what are the chances he’ll ever see him again?
Assertive and free-spirited Abel has different plans. One night with Landon is never going to be enough. He’ll follow him to the ends of the earth and worm his way into Landon’s heart—somehow.
Fighting against all his ingrained urges to run, Landon finds himself drawn down a road he swore he’d never take.
But Abel doesn’t know Landon is sick.
How can anyone love a man with no future?
Telling Abel might cause him to run, but staying silent means living a lie. A lie that will only reveal itself in time.
**This story ends with a HFN.**
Landon doesn’t have time for love. Literally. After being given a terminal diagnosis, he is living on borrowed time. Determined to make the best of the life he has left, Landon makes a bucket list of all the things he wants to accomplish before he dies.
Big and small. It all counts.
Abel was supposed to be nothing more than a tick on that list. A random, faceless hook-up in a country far from home. Besides, what are the chances he’ll ever see him again?
Assertive and free-spirited Abel has different plans. One night with Landon is never going to be enough. He’ll follow him to the ends of the earth and worm his way into Landon’s heart—somehow.
Fighting against all his ingrained urges to run, Landon finds himself drawn down a road he swore he’d never take.
But Abel doesn’t know Landon is sick.
How can anyone love a man with no future?
Telling Abel might cause him to run, but staying silent means living a lie. A lie that will only reveal itself in time.
**This story ends with a HFN.**
280 pages, ebook
First published March 13, 2017
147 people are currently reading
1105 people want to read
About the author
Nicky James
75 books2,238 followersI live in the small town of Petrolia, Ontario, Canada and I am a mother to a wonderful teenage boy (didn't think those words could be typed together...surprise) and wife to a truly supportive and understanding husband, who thankfully doesn't think I'm crazy.
I have always had two profound dreams in life. To fall back hundreds of years in time and live in a simpler world, not bogged down by technology and to write novels. Since only one of these was a possibility I decided to make the other come alive on paper.
I write mm romance novels that take place in fantastical medieval type settings and love to use the challenges of the times to give my stories and characters life.
I have always had two profound dreams in life. To fall back hundreds of years in time and live in a simpler world, not bogged down by technology and to write novels. Since only one of these was a possibility I decided to make the other come alive on paper.
I write mm romance novels that take place in fantastical medieval type settings and love to use the challenges of the times to give my stories and characters life.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 225 reviews
March 17, 2017
"I love you,Abel,as much as you've made this harder on me,you've made my life a million times brighter.No regrets,okay?"
A truly moving love story
There is a note to the reader at the start of this book,from the Author.I'm only going to quote her final words and hopefully that will be enough to convince anyone to read this amazing book.
No one will die in this book.You will not journey with Landon to his end.Instead,you will walk beside him and watch him live.
I knew reading this would be painful for me as someone very close to me had the exact same illness Landon has.I knew all those memories would come flooding back and they did but I wouldn't have missed reading this for anything.
Landon is 26 and has a terminal illness.He's working his way through his bucket list and while he's in China he meets Abel.Abel is like a breath of fresh air....he's pushy but so endearing.Landon is happy in his own company,he's resigned to the fact he can't let anyone get close to him.But Abel has other ideas....
After their initial encounter they bump into each other again and no matter how hard he tries Landon can't seem to deter Abel.One of the things on his bucket list is have sex with a stranger so Landon thinks why not?.
It was only supposed to be a one night stand...
Landon and Abel are two of the most engaging characters I've read about and together they are perfect.
I had a lump in my throat more than once reading this.
I felt,
Every emotion,
Every struggle,
Every happy moment,
Every sad moment,
The message is a strong one and it's so beautifully written.
Life is for living,
Take every moment,and if you're lucky enough to find that special person to share it with-grasp it with both hands and don't let go.
This book ended with hope for me.
Hope,that these two amazing men get to share their lives'(however short) together.
Landon and Abels' story is just beautiful.
Highly recommended.
A copy of No Regrets was given to me by Nicky James for an honest review
This review has been posted on Dirty Books Obsession
June 4, 2023
you can find me drowning in my own puddle of tears
February 9, 2018
Phew! i made it to the end.....
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I don't think i can write a proper review.
This book was sad and uplifting at the same time. Going in i knew what i getting into.
I love Abel and his wonderful personality, this is Landon's journey, i enjoyed it with him, i felt his pain and for some reason i now have his headache.
Someday he would be gone from this world, and my heart would shatter. But I wouldn't change a thing
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I don't think i can write a proper review.
This book was sad and uplifting at the same time. Going in i knew what i getting into.
I love Abel and his wonderful personality, this is Landon's journey, i enjoyed it with him, i felt his pain and for some reason i now have his headache.
Someday he would be gone from this world, and my heart would shatter. But I wouldn't change a thing
October 26, 2020
Audio 5 +++ Stars
Story 5+ Stars
It was my intention to skip this book because of the subject matter. But there just aren't enough Nicky James audiobooks, and Adam Gold's performance is just as irresistible. 😍
Anyway this story left me in a mess of tears, but I have no regrets listening to it. The idea of the story is heartbreaking, but the delivery was beautiful, sweet and honest.❤
Story 5+ Stars
It was my intention to skip this book because of the subject matter. But there just aren't enough Nicky James audiobooks, and Adam Gold's performance is just as irresistible. 😍
Anyway this story left me in a mess of tears, but I have no regrets listening to it. The idea of the story is heartbreaking, but the delivery was beautiful, sweet and honest.❤
March 25, 2017
5 stars!
It's taken me a couple of days for me to write this review because it's always hard to do when it comes to this emotional books.
"This is a journey of life not death.
One that will hold no miracle cure,
but one that will take the path it is
set out to take"
But there's two things that are different about this story. One, right from reading the blurb you know what you're getting yourself into. Two, the ending it's not the usual way it goes, it still heartbreaking no doubt, but for me at least, I was left with a smile and tears on my face. But then again my tears started right form just reading the author's note and dedication which I thought were so freaking beautiful.
"Life is worth living. No one is
promised tomorrow, but it doesn't
mean we should give up on today"
Landon, right from the beginning we know has terminal cancer. Which has him setting out to do as much as he can from his bucket list and that's where he meets Abel.
Abel, he was a bold and straight forward kinda guy, he literally had no filter said what he wanted when and where he wanted. I loved that about him and the way he would make Landon blush. Loved that he persuade Landon and never took no for an answer.
"everyone deserves happiness
and someone to love. Someone
who will hold their hand through
thick and thin and never give up
on them even when times get
though"
Abel, came into Landon's life when he needed him the most, he gave him the light he needed. It wasn't about how much time they had but about how much they would enjoy and treasure it. Their relationship was intense, emotional, sad, but sweet, beautiful and super sexy. I have to say I'll never think of the game twister the same way again. That was pretty inventive of Abel. Oh my gosh, their banter was so funny at times, especially Abel, he even had me blushing with his dirty talk.
"You will not journey with
Landon to his end. Instead, you
will walk beside him and watch him
live"
They definitely made each other happy. Abel showed Landon not to give up and to love and Landon by loving Abel, unconditionally. I know that every time I hear "love me tender" by Elvis Presley I'll think of Landon and Abel dancing the night away under a sky full of stars. ❤
It's taken me a couple of days for me to write this review because it's always hard to do when it comes to this emotional books.
"This is a journey of life not death.
One that will hold no miracle cure,
but one that will take the path it is
set out to take"
But there's two things that are different about this story. One, right from reading the blurb you know what you're getting yourself into. Two, the ending it's not the usual way it goes, it still heartbreaking no doubt, but for me at least, I was left with a smile and tears on my face. But then again my tears started right form just reading the author's note and dedication which I thought were so freaking beautiful.
"Life is worth living. No one is
promised tomorrow, but it doesn't
mean we should give up on today"
Landon, right from the beginning we know has terminal cancer. Which has him setting out to do as much as he can from his bucket list and that's where he meets Abel.
Abel, he was a bold and straight forward kinda guy, he literally had no filter said what he wanted when and where he wanted. I loved that about him and the way he would make Landon blush. Loved that he persuade Landon and never took no for an answer.
"everyone deserves happiness
and someone to love. Someone
who will hold their hand through
thick and thin and never give up
on them even when times get
though"
Abel, came into Landon's life when he needed him the most, he gave him the light he needed. It wasn't about how much time they had but about how much they would enjoy and treasure it. Their relationship was intense, emotional, sad, but sweet, beautiful and super sexy. I have to say I'll never think of the game twister the same way again. That was pretty inventive of Abel. Oh my gosh, their banter was so funny at times, especially Abel, he even had me blushing with his dirty talk.
"You will not journey with
Landon to his end. Instead, you
will walk beside him and watch him
live"
They definitely made each other happy. Abel showed Landon not to give up and to love and Landon by loving Abel, unconditionally. I know that every time I hear "love me tender" by Elvis Presley I'll think of Landon and Abel dancing the night away under a sky full of stars. ❤
March 26, 2017
3/26/17
I take it back- I found out there's a sequel
****
3/25/17
You know, the more I think about this book the more irked I get. I don't read books with sad endings. I only read books that end in a HEA. When I read this disclaimer by the author:
No one will die in this book.You will not journey with Landon to his end.Instead,you will walk beside him and watch him live.
I thought I was in the clear. Yes, no one dies- BUT The end left me devastated. I kind of wish I hadn't read it.
******
3/24/17
I got what I asked for.
Bittersweet for sure. Now I need a low angst, smutty read. Not sure I'll review this one- I'd probably cry the whole time.
I take it back- I found out there's a sequel
****
3/25/17
You know, the more I think about this book the more irked I get. I don't read books with sad endings. I only read books that end in a HEA. When I read this disclaimer by the author:
No one will die in this book.You will not journey with Landon to his end.Instead,you will walk beside him and watch him live.
I thought I was in the clear. Yes, no one dies- BUT The end left me devastated. I kind of wish I hadn't read it.
******
3/24/17
I got what I asked for.
Bittersweet for sure. Now I need a low angst, smutty read. Not sure I'll review this one- I'd probably cry the whole time.
Read
June 1, 2021DNF 35%. This book just wasn't for me. Abel was too pushy. I couldn't find a connection between both MCs. Since there was only Landon's POV, I couldn't get what Abel think about the whole ongoing thing.
March 1, 2021
What can I say, I'm stumbling over my thoughts and words.
It was beautiful and heavy. Humor, joy, seriousness, grumpiness, stubbornness a lot of fun, and heartbreaking moments. But with head and shoulders above this all so much unconditional love, it was overwhelming.
I cried I was so scared, I grieved in advance, I laughed, smiled.
At some point, I stopped reading, couldn't handle it. Had to wait to be alone to finish this story because I knew on forehand there would be ugly cries, okay, so the story.
Landon and Abel.
Landon diagnosed with terminal cancer, has a bucket list, determined to do it all by himself
He doesn't want to be a burden and doesn't want to be involved with anyone anymore, only his grandma.
But HA! guess what, there steps Abel full in Landon's life. They have a one-night stand, an amazing night but that is it. Landon doesn't want more and we all know why. But HA! guess what again, I never met a more determined and stubborn head like Abel. Landon dismissed him more than once...but the man is deaf and blind and over his head for Landon and comes back every time it's almost embarrassing, only he is such an endearing guy and just irresistible, so Landon also can't resist him.
And here it comes, a wonderful breathtaking, heartbreaking and lovingly journey follows, while writing this I still can't stop crying. It was everything.
Abel and Landon, I will never forget this story.
The lily on the cover <3
It was beautiful and heavy. Humor, joy, seriousness, grumpiness, stubbornness a lot of fun, and heartbreaking moments. But with head and shoulders above this all so much unconditional love, it was overwhelming.
I cried I was so scared, I grieved in advance, I laughed, smiled.
At some point, I stopped reading, couldn't handle it. Had to wait to be alone to finish this story because I knew on forehand there would be ugly cries, okay, so the story.
Landon and Abel.
Landon diagnosed with terminal cancer, has a bucket list, determined to do it all by himself
He doesn't want to be a burden and doesn't want to be involved with anyone anymore, only his grandma.
But HA! guess what, there steps Abel full in Landon's life. They have a one-night stand, an amazing night but that is it. Landon doesn't want more and we all know why. But HA! guess what again, I never met a more determined and stubborn head like Abel. Landon dismissed him more than once...but the man is deaf and blind and over his head for Landon and comes back every time it's almost embarrassing, only he is such an endearing guy and just irresistible, so Landon also can't resist him.
And here it comes, a wonderful breathtaking, heartbreaking and lovingly journey follows, while writing this I still can't stop crying. It was everything.
Abel and Landon, I will never forget this story.
The lily on the cover <3
March 31, 2022
This is a beautiful love story and a beautiful journey. A heartbreaking one. It doesn’t end in a HEA, because that’s not always how life works. Life is unfair, and lovely people like Landon don’t get to grow old surrounded by grandchildren.
Sometimes all you get is the rest of his life, not the rest of yours.
All I could do was take it in and memorize every detail. Capture that smile in my mind so I could draw it up years from now and remember that moment with clarity.
Sometimes all you get is the rest of his life, not the rest of yours.
All I could do was take it in and memorize every detail. Capture that smile in my mind so I could draw it up years from now and remember that moment with clarity.
January 27, 2022
“I’m not going to watch you die. I’m going to help you live. You’ve made a list and I plan to use every day you are capable to help you fulfill all those things on it. We will tick off as many as we can. I want to love you, and hold your hand, and kiss you, and make love to you. When we can’t do those things anymore, then I just want to hold you in my arms until you have to say goodbye. Every minute you have left on this Earth, I will love you. Let me love you.”
[3.75] (50 years later, i’m finally going back to fill in incomplete reviews purely based on memory and out-of context quotes alone so uhhh pray for me 🤣)
ngl it can take a while to get into the rhythm of these characters, if you’re able to at all. at first i found connecting to Abel particularly difficult, because he lacks the concept of personal boundaries and exhibits enough concerning stalker-like behavior to warrant obtaining a restraining order 😅 i’m sure a handful of folks will call it a day and move onto their next read within the first half due of this.
but if you persist long enough to learn more about Landon, you’ll realize Abel’s boundless, second-to-none persistence might’ve been the only thing capable of convincing him to accept another person into his life while facing a terminal diagnosis.
I couldn’t offer him anything. Except sadness. And pain.
for a good portion of the book, Landon’s thoughts are hard to digest in all their grim and depressing nature. he walls himself off from the world, stubbornly intent on experiencing his final moments alone. but in a way, i could understand where he’s coming from—not wanting to be a burden to others, preferring to suffer alone if it means saving loved ones from the same grief, leaving others in the dark to indulge in a self-made, constructed sense of normalcy—and i know a lot of us can relate.
Someday he’d be gone from the world and my heart would shatter. But, I wouldn’t change a thing. No regrets.
Abel’s pov was a welcome one and is introduced more frequently in the second half. my initial impression of him had me wary, but he really did grow on me as he made it his mission to convince Landon that he deserves love as much as everybody else.
i can barely imagine how difficult it must be to find joy with a guillotine right over your head, but while the ultimate outcome looms in the distance, know that there’s still plenty of hope and love and life within these pages.
the story ends on a HFN note that left me silently crying fat tears at the reality that all good things come to an end, some earlier than others. even if you can’t relate to the characters directly, the sentiment alone is enough to empower you to write out a bucket list of your own and run off to seize the day. go live your life to the fullest! 💃
April 17, 2018
Audiobook reviewNicky James: Are you afraid of reading this book?
Me: Terrified
Things didn't bode well for me when I was teary eyed from the note from the author - before the book even begun... But some part of me just had to read this book. So it was with equal parts dread and anticipation that I went into this book.
I have to say Nicky James delivered what she promised - a love story celebrating life, not dwelling on the impending horrible death always looming in the horizon and the sadness of it all. Sure there were sad moments, bittersweet moments, but above all there was so much love it was brimming with it.
I loved every single moment we got to spend with Landon and Abel. It's a love story that truly celebrated life and the love that two people shared. Abel and Landon taught each other soo much and following them through this journey was beautiful and one that’s truly hard to forget.
I loved Adam Gold's performance of this book. The emotion and range of his character voices were just right. It was perfection. Pure Gold ;) It was my first book narrated by him, and I hope he’ll do many more in the future; he’s one to keep an eye out for. He made an already wonderful and emotional story come alive, added another dimension to it. Fingers crossed he’ll narrate the rest of this series. I for one will be first in line. (After I’ve run out and stock up on tissues)
I am looking forward to and anticipate the next book in the series, but it's also one I'm dreading a lot more. I need to know what happened to Abel, after Landon, but I'm also aware that while this book was a celebration, the next one will be about overcoming the loss of a loved one - ugly crying guaranteed. So if this book had me terrified of reading it, the mere thought of what the next book will bring has me petrified and almost running for the hills.
No Regrets was amazingly beautiful and it is a book that I'm highly recommending for everyone loving those bittersweet love stories with wonderful characters that you can't help falling for.
A copy of this audiobook was generously provided by the author in exchange for an honest review
August 4, 2017
Someday he would be gone from this world, and my heart would shatter. But I wouldn't change a thing
This novel was a magical ride that I encourage everyone to go on. Like the author warns in the beginning, this isn't a book about death, but LIFE. It has me thinking that most of the day to day things we worry about and cry over are actually insignificant when looked at from a different perspective. I'm sorry but this book makes me want to bungee jump off a tower in Macau as well and just enjoy life! Yes you will cry, heck ME Mr. Deadface savage cried like a baby. This is literally the second time in TWO days that a book has me balling my eyes out when I previously haven't cried in literally two years. And oh god is it an uncomfortable feeling, I don't know how people can go about crying everyday. Like its draining and depressing and you just want to curl up in a ball and sing Adele. And just thinking about Abel eventually moving on has be dying inside, because shit I wanted them to grow old together. But that isn't meant to be and it made the story that much more beautiful.
There is something sexy about a man crying that made Abel one of my ultimate book boyfriends. I think its the vulnerability displayed by typically such strong characters, that just makes me feel all the FEELS. Men are constantly forced by society to hide and ignore their emotions, lest they are perceived as weak. The very image of Abel crying over Landon, so intimately and lovingly, just about undid me. I want a boyfriend like Abel and a love like theirs.
Read it! It's different because there isn't unnecessary relationship angst but REAL LIFE DRAMA. This romantic and melancholic read is a book of the ages and one of my favorites.
ALL THE STARS!!
This novel was a magical ride that I encourage everyone to go on. Like the author warns in the beginning, this isn't a book about death, but LIFE. It has me thinking that most of the day to day things we worry about and cry over are actually insignificant when looked at from a different perspective. I'm sorry but this book makes me want to bungee jump off a tower in Macau as well and just enjoy life! Yes you will cry, heck ME Mr. Deadface savage cried like a baby. This is literally the second time in TWO days that a book has me balling my eyes out when I previously haven't cried in literally two years. And oh god is it an uncomfortable feeling, I don't know how people can go about crying everyday. Like its draining and depressing and you just want to curl up in a ball and sing Adele. And just thinking about Abel eventually moving on has be dying inside, because shit I wanted them to grow old together. But that isn't meant to be and it made the story that much more beautiful.
There is something sexy about a man crying that made Abel one of my ultimate book boyfriends. I think its the vulnerability displayed by typically such strong characters, that just makes me feel all the FEELS. Men are constantly forced by society to hide and ignore their emotions, lest they are perceived as weak. The very image of Abel crying over Landon, so intimately and lovingly, just about undid me. I want a boyfriend like Abel and a love like theirs.
Read it! It's different because there isn't unnecessary relationship angst but REAL LIFE DRAMA. This romantic and melancholic read is a book of the ages and one of my favorites.
ALL THE STARS!!
April 2, 2017
Wow. Just Wow.
This was exceptional good!!!
Don't fear to read this book.
Just Jump right in!!!
You won't regret it.
Fear in in your head. You're letting it own you. Once you stop giving it power, you'll jump.
Review to come later.
October 31, 2017
4.5 Stars
A heartbreaking...but beautiful love story!
A heartbreaking...but beautiful love story!
April 1, 2025
Buddy read with @StayCalm81—thank you! This was hard, tearful, but absolutely no regrets!
This was bittersweet. I felt an overwhelming sadness for what was inevitable, yet I couldn't help but be grateful that Landon spent his last months with someone as Abel. Their love, however fleeting, was profound and beautiful.
I’m so torn… I’ve never read anything like this before. It was eye-opening in a way I didn’t expect, making me reflect on how fragile and fleeting life truly is. I think I might start my own bucket list—because time doesn’t wait, and I don’t want to take it for granted.
I had some issues with the MC and how the author portrayed them—particularly in the way she chose to depict their vulnerability and rationality. There was too much noise around them at times, which affected my overall enjoyment. But by the end of the book, none of that really mattered.
This story isn’t just about sadness; it’s about choosing joy, even when the road is unbearably rough. Landon and Abel embraced every moment, celebrating life despite the heartbreak.
No regrets. Live life to the fullest.
“When he noticed me awake, he gave me a weak smile and brought a hand to my cheek, stroking it before he leaned in and kissed me.We didn’t exchange words. What could be said? We both knew the direction my life was heading, and there was nothing to be done for it.I snuggled in closer and rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart. It raced under my ear, and as I laid there, drifting in and out of consciousness again, his chest began to shake and shudder with desperate intakes of breath.
He was crying.
I squeezed him tighter as he stroked my hair.“I love you,” I whispered.
It unleashed a heavy stream of tears and his arms around me squeezed as tight as a vice. “I love you too,” he said on a sob.
This was bittersweet. I felt an overwhelming sadness for what was inevitable, yet I couldn't help but be grateful that Landon spent his last months with someone as Abel. Their love, however fleeting, was profound and beautiful.
I’m so torn… I’ve never read anything like this before. It was eye-opening in a way I didn’t expect, making me reflect on how fragile and fleeting life truly is. I think I might start my own bucket list—because time doesn’t wait, and I don’t want to take it for granted.
I had some issues with the MC and how the author portrayed them—particularly in the way she chose to depict their vulnerability and rationality. There was too much noise around them at times, which affected my overall enjoyment. But by the end of the book, none of that really mattered.
This story isn’t just about sadness; it’s about choosing joy, even when the road is unbearably rough. Landon and Abel embraced every moment, celebrating life despite the heartbreak.
No regrets. Live life to the fullest.
“When he noticed me awake, he gave me a weak smile and brought a hand to my cheek, stroking it before he leaned in and kissed me.We didn’t exchange words. What could be said? We both knew the direction my life was heading, and there was nothing to be done for it.I snuggled in closer and rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart. It raced under my ear, and as I laid there, drifting in and out of consciousness again, his chest began to shake and shudder with desperate intakes of breath.
He was crying.
I squeezed him tighter as he stroked my hair.“I love you,” I whispered.
It unleashed a heavy stream of tears and his arms around me squeezed as tight as a vice. “I love you too,” he said on a sob.
March 31, 2019
Oh man, that was hella angsty and emotional and yet completely uplifting and inspirational at the same time. This book ended exactly where it needed to...
May 17, 2018
10 stars!!!!!
OMG.... this story destroyed my poor heart... but put it back together wonderfully.
I'm so thankful I didn't have to watch Landon die... Nicky James did a wonderful job in giving me the opportunity to walk beside Landon and Abel... and watch them live their live to the fullest.
“I’m not going to watch you die. I’m going to help you live. You’ve made a list and I plan to use every day you are capable to help you fulfill all those things on it. We will tick off as many as we can. I want to love you, and hold your hand, and kiss you, and make love to you. When we can’t do those things anymore, then I just want to hold you in my arms until you have to say goodbye. Every minute you have left on this Earth, I will love you. Let me love you.”
OMG... I'm tearing up again, so let me just finish my review with Nicky's moving note to the reader :
What I wanted to bring to this story and show to you, the reader, is that life is worth living. No one is promised tomorrow, but it doesn’t mean we should give up on today.
Everyone deserves happiness and someone to love. Someone who will hold their hand through thick or thin and never give up on them even when times get tough.
This book is about not giving up when faced with despair and knowing every day is precious and worth living. It’s about finding that silver-lining and enjoying every second.
So, my readers, I promise you this… No one will die in this book. You will not journey with Landon to his end. Instead, you will walk beside him and watch him live.
Highly recommended!!!!
OMG.... this story destroyed my poor heart... but put it back together wonderfully.
I'm so thankful I didn't have to watch Landon die... Nicky James did a wonderful job in giving me the opportunity to walk beside Landon and Abel... and watch them live their live to the fullest.
“I’m not going to watch you die. I’m going to help you live. You’ve made a list and I plan to use every day you are capable to help you fulfill all those things on it. We will tick off as many as we can. I want to love you, and hold your hand, and kiss you, and make love to you. When we can’t do those things anymore, then I just want to hold you in my arms until you have to say goodbye. Every minute you have left on this Earth, I will love you. Let me love you.”
OMG... I'm tearing up again, so let me just finish my review with Nicky's moving note to the reader :
What I wanted to bring to this story and show to you, the reader, is that life is worth living. No one is promised tomorrow, but it doesn’t mean we should give up on today.
Everyone deserves happiness and someone to love. Someone who will hold their hand through thick or thin and never give up on them even when times get tough.
This book is about not giving up when faced with despair and knowing every day is precious and worth living. It’s about finding that silver-lining and enjoying every second.
So, my readers, I promise you this… No one will die in this book. You will not journey with Landon to his end. Instead, you will walk beside him and watch him live.
Highly recommended!!!!
February 28, 2021
This book is so beautiful, I felt so many emotions ❤️😭😭😭❤️❤️😍😍. Nicky is such an amazing writer.
December 11, 2020
5+++ Stars!
♥️♥️♥️
In those moments, when I finish reading books like this, is when words fail me. My head will explode with emotions and I’ll have so much to say but couldn’t make one sentence even if my life would be depending on it. I know, I’m very dramatic. It won’t be the first time or the last.
When it comes to MM romance, for me, the more angst—the better. Those books are usually the ones who stay with me for a long time. In those books I have only one rule—There must be some kind of happy ending. When I read the blurb a few months ago I thought “there’s no way I’m gonna read it because someone is dying” and put it aside. A few days ago I decided to give it a try, and let me tell you—it will have an happy ending but in a different way.
This book is not about dying. It’s about LIVING. ⭐️
“I came here because I love him. I don’t want to watch him die, I want to help him live. Every day, every minute, every hour he has left will be precious and he will know just what he means to me”
It was devastating and painful, yes. With that kind of story it must be. But, there also was happiness, great love and more important—acceptance. About what would come in the end, and with that—the understanding that we should enjoy every day of our lives without regrets, because tomorrow may never come.
“He was the one rare snowflake amongst billions. One day, he would melt and be gone, and all I would have left would be a puddle of memories and his unique perfection to remember him by”
I’m not gonna say anything about the story itself or the characters because two reasons: The blurb will tell you everything you need to know about it and It would be ten times better if you go into it blind.
I was scared about reading this book and I’m so glad I did it anyway. And for those of you who’s scared about this book like I did, I will quote Nicky James from her note to the readers in the beginning of the book—
“No one will die in this book. You’ll not journey with Landon to his end. Instead, you will walk beside him and watch him live”
♥️♥️♥️
In those moments, when I finish reading books like this, is when words fail me. My head will explode with emotions and I’ll have so much to say but couldn’t make one sentence even if my life would be depending on it. I know, I’m very dramatic. It won’t be the first time or the last.
When it comes to MM romance, for me, the more angst—the better. Those books are usually the ones who stay with me for a long time. In those books I have only one rule—There must be some kind of happy ending. When I read the blurb a few months ago I thought “there’s no way I’m gonna read it because someone is dying” and put it aside. A few days ago I decided to give it a try, and let me tell you—it will have an happy ending but in a different way.
This book is not about dying. It’s about LIVING. ⭐️
“I came here because I love him. I don’t want to watch him die, I want to help him live. Every day, every minute, every hour he has left will be precious and he will know just what he means to me”
It was devastating and painful, yes. With that kind of story it must be. But, there also was happiness, great love and more important—acceptance. About what would come in the end, and with that—the understanding that we should enjoy every day of our lives without regrets, because tomorrow may never come.
“He was the one rare snowflake amongst billions. One day, he would melt and be gone, and all I would have left would be a puddle of memories and his unique perfection to remember him by”
I’m not gonna say anything about the story itself or the characters because two reasons: The blurb will tell you everything you need to know about it and It would be ten times better if you go into it blind.
I was scared about reading this book and I’m so glad I did it anyway. And for those of you who’s scared about this book like I did, I will quote Nicky James from her note to the readers in the beginning of the book—
“No one will die in this book. You’ll not journey with Landon to his end. Instead, you will walk beside him and watch him live”
April 11, 2019
Only knowing that I enjoyed Love Me Whole by this author I decided to get this book. Right away when you start you know something sad is going to happen so you prepare as much as you can.
Landon’s story is powerful and sad, but it has so many wonderful teaching moments as well as living life to its fullest. That isn’t easy when your pushing things away. I love that Abel shows him that he isn’t dying he is living.
It isn’t for the faint of heart that is for sure cancer is a horrible disease and many of us have had to live through a loved one who has been struck with it. I think that is why this book is so powerful many of us can relate.
I am happy in the way that it ended it wasn’t what I was expecting it really was so much more and it was kind of perfect.
The narration was ok I like Adam Gold quite a lot, I am just confused why Abel who is from Michigan sounds like he is from Boston. Lol, Whatever it works and I am on to book 2.
Landon’s story is powerful and sad, but it has so many wonderful teaching moments as well as living life to its fullest. That isn’t easy when your pushing things away. I love that Abel shows him that he isn’t dying he is living.
It isn’t for the faint of heart that is for sure cancer is a horrible disease and many of us have had to live through a loved one who has been struck with it. I think that is why this book is so powerful many of us can relate.
I am happy in the way that it ended it wasn’t what I was expecting it really was so much more and it was kind of perfect.
The narration was ok I like Adam Gold quite a lot, I am just confused why Abel who is from Michigan sounds like he is from Boston. Lol, Whatever it works and I am on to book 2.
March 10, 2024
I did love so much of this book but a big chunk of the first half had so much redundant internal dialogue. I skimmed quite a bit because it wasn’t giving any new insight or furthering the plot.
I found that I was getting more frustrated and irritated with Landon, rather than having sympathy for his health and diagnosis. Don’t get me wrong, my heart hurt for him but his rationale and stubbornness was exhausting.
Abel was such a pest for a while and I did understand Landon’s annoyance with him. But he really was such a kindhearted and open person. He clearly wanted to explore his connection with Landon and wouldn’t let Landon get away with anything. He was this spark of life that Landon desperately needed - even if his life would inevitably be cut short.
Once Landon let Abel in, their love was so wonderful! My heart shattered for Abel - he had no idea he wouldn’t get to be with Landon for long. He was so resilient and begged London to let him love him for as long as he could - the epilogue makes it hurt so much worse but they did get their HEA - at least for a moment.
I found that I was getting more frustrated and irritated with Landon, rather than having sympathy for his health and diagnosis. Don’t get me wrong, my heart hurt for him but his rationale and stubbornness was exhausting.
Abel was such a pest for a while and I did understand Landon’s annoyance with him. But he really was such a kindhearted and open person. He clearly wanted to explore his connection with Landon and wouldn’t let Landon get away with anything. He was this spark of life that Landon desperately needed - even if his life would inevitably be cut short.
Once Landon let Abel in, their love was so wonderful! My heart shattered for Abel - he had no idea he wouldn’t get to be with Landon for long. He was so resilient and begged London to let him love him for as long as he could - the epilogue makes it hurt so much worse but they did get their HEA - at least for a moment.
October 29, 2017
4.5 stars. Brought down for lack of editing and overuse of commas.
This was a beautiful story, handled well. I was prepared to cry but didn't. I felt it coming several times, but it never happened.
This was a beautiful story, handled well. I was prepared to cry but didn't. I felt it coming several times, but it never happened.
April 9, 2017
4.5 stars
A beautiful love story. As the author says, this is a story about living, not dying. Very well done with lots of emotion.
As a minor point, this story needed a little more editing. Quite a few typos and oddly place commas.
A beautiful love story. As the author says, this is a story about living, not dying. Very well done with lots of emotion.
As a minor point, this story needed a little more editing. Quite a few typos and oddly place commas.
May 2, 2019
Mnie zawsze takie książki rozwalają psychicznie, nie jestem w stanie długo po nich się pozbierać. To straszne żyć, kochać ze świadomością bardzo ograniczonego czasu. 😢😢 A tak jest w przypadku Londona i Abla. Książka pokazuje siłę miłości, a z drugiej strony jak ulotne jest życie, ale mimo to warto z niego korzystać i być szczęśliwym, choć przez chwilę. Abel to cudowny face, ale szczerze to co pewnie przeżyje po odejściu Londona... Nawet nie chcę myśleć. 😒😒
December 2, 2019
4+, szczerze, nie porwała mnie ta historia, jak co niektórych :P pewnie dlatego, że nie było elementu zaskoczenia, widmo śmierci wisi nad Londonem od początku aż do samego końca, a nawet wiem, że nie ma szans na cudowne wyzdrowienie... lubię szczęśliwe zakończenia w stylu żyli długo i szczęśliwie :P owszem pięknie została przedstawiona miłość, gdzie słowa przysięgi zostają dotrzymane... często miłość ma datę ważności a w chorobie zdarza się, że partner nie dotrzymuje słów, które kiedyś wypowiedział 'póki śmierć nas nie rozłączy' i spie*dala wcześniej :P mimo tego nie żałuję, że po nią sięgnęłam ;)
February 20, 2021
This was one phenomenal story!! 👏🏻 I can't even count the times I cried 🥲 and laughed 😂 in one book. Landon was diagnosed with cancer and was ticking off his bucket list when he meet Abel. I LOVED both men but Abel was a true pleasure and angel 😇 to Landon, showing him it was okay to fall in love and enjoy the time he had left. He had a hard time at first convincing Landon to let them hang out but his tenacity paid off and before Landon knew it Abel was firmly cemented in his ❤️. I listened to this book and the narrator Adam Gold did an outstanding job!
This really isn’t a book to pass up. 🤗
This really isn’t a book to pass up. 🤗
March 18, 2019
cholernie ciężka książka.... ta świadomość dobija. chociaż to prawda powszechna, że każdy kiedyś umrze. za Landona i Abla 10 gwiazdek.
March 11, 2021
I enjoyed this story of a young man chasing down his bucket list in a race against the terminal cancer in his head, and the brash guy who falls for him and insists on being loved back. There is no death in this book, and it's got a lot of humor alongside the gloom, but the ending is not all roses either.
I didn't really like Abel for the first half of this book, which colored my view of this story for a long time. He was pushy, stalkery, and unwilling to take no for an answer. He met Landon, was attracted to him, and set his sights on him in a way that didn't quite feel like love at first sight. In fact, I wanted Landon to put his foot down, and demand respect for his choices and his privacy.
I grant you, Abel's pushiness was probably the only way Landon would've ever taken a chance on a relationship, with his awareness of a looming end shaped by pain and loss. But it felt disrespectful and verging on dangerous. Abel outed Landon and embarrassed him with his behavior, at times (like the hotel), in ways that added stress for a guy who didn't need that. And only partly made up for it with good nature and charm and humor.
But as the book went on, the two young men forged a deeper relationship based on mutual caring. And as that developed, I began to forgive Abel for his earlier behavior, because it took Landon to a place he needed to be, to not just survive but thrive in what might be the last year of his life. At that point, the story became sweeter and deeper, and I really enjoyed it.
The ending is HFN, but not in an unrealistic way. The link to the sequel at the end tells us more about how things would go. There's a difficult line to walk in writing a romance about a character with a terminal illness, and I thought this one was well judged, walking the psychological and medical realities alongside the romance.
I didn't really like Abel for the first half of this book, which colored my view of this story for a long time. He was pushy, stalkery, and unwilling to take no for an answer. He met Landon, was attracted to him, and set his sights on him in a way that didn't quite feel like love at first sight. In fact, I wanted Landon to put his foot down, and demand respect for his choices and his privacy.
I grant you, Abel's pushiness was probably the only way Landon would've ever taken a chance on a relationship, with his awareness of a looming end shaped by pain and loss. But it felt disrespectful and verging on dangerous. Abel outed Landon and embarrassed him with his behavior, at times (like the hotel), in ways that added stress for a guy who didn't need that. And only partly made up for it with good nature and charm and humor.
But as the book went on, the two young men forged a deeper relationship based on mutual caring. And as that developed, I began to forgive Abel for his earlier behavior, because it took Landon to a place he needed to be, to not just survive but thrive in what might be the last year of his life. At that point, the story became sweeter and deeper, and I really enjoyed it.
The ending is HFN, but not in an unrealistic way. The link to the sequel at the end tells us more about how things would go. There's a difficult line to walk in writing a romance about a character with a terminal illness, and I thought this one was well judged, walking the psychological and medical realities alongside the romance.
did-not-finish
November 7, 2021DNF @ 12%
It's me, not the book. I just don't have the kind of tolerance necessary to care about the future relationship between a character who's uncomfortable and a character who has no sense of common boundaries. I mean, seriously, Abel overstayed his welcome after a one-night stand, rifled through Landon's personal notebook, ignored an order to get out of the hotel room, and decided that a blowjob was what Landon needed to make him stop being grumpy about having his privacy violated by a pushy one-night-stand. Sorry, but no. Hell no. I am not dedicating 300-something pages worth of reading to a relationship between such a pushy jackass and... anyone, really.
I'm sure this will be great for people who aren't so sensitive to having privacy boundaries ignored and pushed. It just isn't a book that's good for me. That makes this the second DNF of my Read A Rainbow challenge. Finding another indigo-covered book is going to be a chore, but I just don't wanna stick with this one.
It's me, not the book. I just don't have the kind of tolerance necessary to care about the future relationship between a character who's uncomfortable and a character who has no sense of common boundaries. I mean, seriously, Abel overstayed his welcome after a one-night stand, rifled through Landon's personal notebook, ignored an order to get out of the hotel room, and decided that a blowjob was what Landon needed to make him stop being grumpy about having his privacy violated by a pushy one-night-stand. Sorry, but no. Hell no. I am not dedicating 300-something pages worth of reading to a relationship between such a pushy jackass and... anyone, really.
I'm sure this will be great for people who aren't so sensitive to having privacy boundaries ignored and pushed. It just isn't a book that's good for me. That makes this the second DNF of my Read A Rainbow challenge. Finding another indigo-covered book is going to be a chore, but I just don't wanna stick with this one.
April 13, 2017
3 stars.
Definitely not what I was expecting.
Which, for once, is good.
Good because my heart is still intact. Thank the universe for it.
But there's some bad, too.
Here it is: I'm not entirely satisfied with Ms. James execution in here.
I would love to explain it more, but I think I've inherited one of Landon's headaches through some kind of weird osmosis. So I'll get back to it as soon as I sleep on it.
I still devoured the whole thing in, like, 4 hours. So that's a good thing.
Definitely not what I was expecting.
Which, for once, is good.
Good because my heart is still intact. Thank the universe for it.
But there's some bad, too.
Here it is: I'm not entirely satisfied with Ms. James execution in here.
I would love to explain it more, but I think I've inherited one of Landon's headaches through some kind of weird osmosis. So I'll get back to it as soon as I sleep on it.
I still devoured the whole thing in, like, 4 hours. So that's a good thing.
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