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Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate
In today's digitally driven world, disaster is only a click away.
A rogue tweet could bring down a business; an army of trolls can run a celebrity off-line; and virtual harassment might cause real psychological damage.
Shame Nation is the first book to explore the fascinating phenomenon of online shaming and offer practical guidance and inspiring advice on how to prevent and protect against cyber blunders and faceless bullies. Author and acclaimed Internet safety expert Sue Scheff unveils all sides of an issue that is only becoming more relevant day by day while drawing from the expertise of other top professionals spanning fields including law, psychology, and reputation management.
From damning screenshots to revenge porn, Shame Nation shines a light on the rising trend of online shame culture and empowers readers to take charge of their digital lives.
A rogue tweet could bring down a business; an army of trolls can run a celebrity off-line; and virtual harassment might cause real psychological damage.
Shame Nation is the first book to explore the fascinating phenomenon of online shaming and offer practical guidance and inspiring advice on how to prevent and protect against cyber blunders and faceless bullies. Author and acclaimed Internet safety expert Sue Scheff unveils all sides of an issue that is only becoming more relevant day by day while drawing from the expertise of other top professionals spanning fields including law, psychology, and reputation management.
From damning screenshots to revenge porn, Shame Nation shines a light on the rising trend of online shame culture and empowers readers to take charge of their digital lives.
321 pages, Hardcover
Published October 3, 2017
33 people are currently reading
1139 people want to read
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October 23, 2017
It holds a valid and worthy to be postulated (and detailed as it was) premise. And yet it has so much redundant messaging! It's nearly 4 star in the concepts exactly postulated to form protections and especially some THOUGHT before posting on social media and other information loaded sites.
It also does a fair job of defining all the different varieties of "shaming". Most of which are not actually in MY own connotation of that practice. But I guess hers are all valid. By her varying examples (so much of this book is anecdotal)the practice of shaming is more an answering method to any diverse opinion with a character or personal assault of verbal abuse and vicious malicious drumming. Without any tolerance or understanding that people vary in likes, culture, moral statutes, family or societal strictures and every other criteria possible along the homo sapiens possibility lines. To me that's just a role model for intolerance- and also doesn't address any discussion of the points of the post either. But people do that kind of thing online- some do consistently. The other opinion is not only invalid but they make the "other" evil for having it. Which is total intolerance at core.
Trolling to hurt reputation, monetarily and all kinds of categories included. Stranger and non-stranger habits that fall into these groups of "shaming".
But it is stating what is the obvious to 90% of all tech users, IMHO. The problem is understanding the cruelty that the usual online hater exhibits. To me that is the true issue.. WHY? And that is hardly touched here to an answer. People will not and do not use manners and address in face to face communications to hurt in that large extent as they do on the internet. And the scariest part is how many abusers think that is acceptable and funny. Her chapter on the abuse of "different" people was a 4 star part of the book. Like "ugly" baby contests. I never did understand how people think that kind of habit is funny. But they seem to do so.
This holds hardly enough material overall for an entire book, IMHO. A long magazine article without so much categorizing, may be just as apt?
I didn't learn much except maybe within the anecdotes of people who have viciously attacked people they have known, like ex's or work mates they dislike etc. Mostly I thought it was more name calling habits (so stupid in role model for ANY belief system that is supposedly championed) on any divisive topic that have escalated in recent internet years. But with identity destroying and stealing it has gone on to far worse. And the stupidity involved so horrible in karma revolving outcomes.
Monica Lewinsky has a long worded Introduction piece- a foreword to this book. Lots of the advice is common sense. But that also has hit some real voids in the last decade with some online habits I observe every day.
It also does a fair job of defining all the different varieties of "shaming". Most of which are not actually in MY own connotation of that practice. But I guess hers are all valid. By her varying examples (so much of this book is anecdotal)the practice of shaming is more an answering method to any diverse opinion with a character or personal assault of verbal abuse and vicious malicious drumming. Without any tolerance or understanding that people vary in likes, culture, moral statutes, family or societal strictures and every other criteria possible along the homo sapiens possibility lines. To me that's just a role model for intolerance- and also doesn't address any discussion of the points of the post either. But people do that kind of thing online- some do consistently. The other opinion is not only invalid but they make the "other" evil for having it. Which is total intolerance at core.
Trolling to hurt reputation, monetarily and all kinds of categories included. Stranger and non-stranger habits that fall into these groups of "shaming".
But it is stating what is the obvious to 90% of all tech users, IMHO. The problem is understanding the cruelty that the usual online hater exhibits. To me that is the true issue.. WHY? And that is hardly touched here to an answer. People will not and do not use manners and address in face to face communications to hurt in that large extent as they do on the internet. And the scariest part is how many abusers think that is acceptable and funny. Her chapter on the abuse of "different" people was a 4 star part of the book. Like "ugly" baby contests. I never did understand how people think that kind of habit is funny. But they seem to do so.
This holds hardly enough material overall for an entire book, IMHO. A long magazine article without so much categorizing, may be just as apt?
I didn't learn much except maybe within the anecdotes of people who have viciously attacked people they have known, like ex's or work mates they dislike etc. Mostly I thought it was more name calling habits (so stupid in role model for ANY belief system that is supposedly championed) on any divisive topic that have escalated in recent internet years. But with identity destroying and stealing it has gone on to far worse. And the stupidity involved so horrible in karma revolving outcomes.
Monica Lewinsky has a long worded Introduction piece- a foreword to this book. Lots of the advice is common sense. But that also has hit some real voids in the last decade with some online habits I observe every day.
December 1, 2017
I won this book as a Goodreads giveaway.
4.5 stars -- Not long ago, I heard a news story that deeply troubled me. It dealt with a resident of Las Vegas, who, after the mass shooting that happened there, decided that he no longer wished to have anything to do with guns or the gun culture. He made the decision to turn his legally-owned pistol and military-style rifle in to the local police department. He didn’t make the argument that this is what every gun owner had to do; it was just his personal decision that helped him sleep better at night. And because this is 2017, he documented the transaction on Facebook.
Not surprisingly, some gun enthusiasts disagreed with his symbolic action. So, did they have a civil discussion about the pros and cons of guns in America? Are you kidding? This is 2017! People sent the man death threats. They published his home address. They openly encouraged that his wife be raped and his home robbed. Fearing for himself and his family, the man deleted his Facebook post and moved house.
SHAME NATION is a book about precisely the type of interaction documented above. For huge numbers of us, sickening attacks and terrifying threats are daily occurrences, thanks to the plugged-in lives most of us now lead. “Truly, the breadth of human cruelty on digital display can be staggering,” Scheff writes. She then quotes a tech journalist: “We are living in an age of incivility.”
The first part of the book documents the myriad ways the “Shame Nation” has ensnared its victims. In some cases, the person being attacked did do or say something wrong or ill-advised; in others, the unfortunate victim just happened to be in the wrong place in the wrong time. In nearly all of the cases, the targeted person’s entire life was flipped upside-down, causing lasting repercussions. The introduction is written by Monica Lewinsky, arguably the first person to become the target of a global Internet-driven shame campaign.
Is shaming always wrong, though? It’s a thorny subject. “In some situations, shaming is all we have,” the author notes, after discussing Internet-driven campaigns against certain violent predators. Few would shed tears over the public condemnation of a convicted murderer or rapist. However, the Internet regularly treats people who look different or express political opinions or who have even been the victims of horrible tragedies in the same manner as the most bloodthirsty serial killers, and that’s what this book is about.
One memorable online shaming campaign involved the Harambe tragedy of 2016. A four-year old child fell into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati zoo, attracting the attention of a huge male gorilla. While most media outlets showed the less-upsetting footage of the animal standing motionless over the child, a full viewing of the gasp-inducing uncut footage shows that Harambe also grabbed the four-year-old by the leg and swung him around like a rag doll, as onlookers screamed in terror. After multiple failed attempts were made to entice the gorilla away from the little boy, Harambe was fatally shot by zoo officials. The Internet reacted hard and fast against the mother, blaming her for the death of this endangered animal.
Unfortunately, the author characterizes this reaction as a “firestorm among animal-rights activists online.” I understand that it’s common to characterize anyone who speaks up for an animal as an animal rights advocate, but as someone who actually considers herself part of that community, I can honestly say that the response from the actual animal rights organizations was far more nuanced, and tended to be along the lines of “Should we keep great apes in zoos?” or “It’s too late for Harambe, but there are so many other animals on whose fates we can still have a definite impact.” The trolls claiming to be on the side of Harambe were more aggressors than activists.
Also explored in this book is another animal-related tragedy that occurred in the same timeframe and exposed grieving parents to the full fury of Internet hatred. An alligator snatched and killed a toddler who was playing within his parents’ reach at a Disneyworld resort lagoon, an unprecedented event in the park’s 40+ year history.
Not discussed in SHAME NATION, yet seemingly close to the tipping point of mainstream attention, are the incredibly hostile advocates of aggressive dogs. Reading the words of their mob attacks on the bereaved parents of killed children is enough to make one doubt humanity. If you even just publicly side with the victims, name-calling and death threats may become your new normal. And serious maimings and deaths from dangerous dogs are far, far more common than those by gorilla or alligator.
It’s not outrageous to assert that Facebook and other social media have created a sea change in how we relate to one another, and not for the better. The text notes that the University of Michigan found through surveys of incoming freshmen that empathy has declined by 40 percent over the past three decades. It’s not even arguable that the nastiness and incredible political divisiveness that characterized the 2016 presidential election are thanks largely to the new norms created online. Scheff quotes a researcher who states, “I spoke to girls who said, ‘Social media [are] destroying our lives. But we can’t go off it, because then we’d have no life.”
While bullying and hate are some of the most high-profile ramifications of this new media, the tendency of people to forget all privacy and decorum, even for their own families, is another wide-reaching Facebook effect. Responsible parents and childfree people alike may feel relief that graphic “sharenting” is being called out. One teen girl from Austria actually sued her own parents for all of those embarrassing childhood photos they posted on Facebook, from shots of her getting her diaper changed to potty training. “They know no shame and no limit,” the girl lamented., Scheff writes. The Internet never forgets, as the author repeatedly reminds us, and not only will inadvisable photos never disappear, they can also easily land into the hands of predators looking to victimize children.
The second half of the book is more optimistic. Readers are empowered with numerous tips on how to take back their online presence and lives, even if they have been Internet shamed. The author emphasizes that readers shouldn’t think they have to avoid the Internet, or even social media, if they do not wish to. Instead, we need to start using online communication in a smarter and more mindful way.
Finally, the author profiles an impressive number of people, websites, and organizations that are fighting back against the Shame Nation. It is indeed heartening to remember that, as loud and nasty as the trolls are, there are millions more who want to make the online experience a friendly and welcoming one.
Interestingly, some aggressors who later regretted their behavior are quoted. Whether they are truly sorry or simply sorry the Internet turned against them is up for debate. The book describes a well-known radio talk show host who made nasty remarks about an actress’s body and weight and was roundly criticized for it. However, I know this personality for another reason—in the early 2000's, he visited my state and slaughtered a cow as on an on-air stunt in a ridiculous attempt to “get back at” PETA. The cow was paraded around and mocked by a crowd before her death, which was all broadcast.
Of the actress incident, the host “recogni[zed] that the experience was a “turning point” for him.” The book quotes him at length: ”The fact is, my words and the words that I use in describing people that I disagree with can be very painful and can be hurtful, and I don’t spend enough time recognizing this.” He acknowledged that there is never a reason to “attack somebody personally” or “tear people down,” online or off. To me, this person will always be the guy who thought an animal’s on-air death was a funny radio joke. I wonder if he recognizes that his words could just as aptly apply to this earlier action. Something tells me he does not.
SHAME NATION is overall, an intelligent, highly readable, and thought-provoking book that will contribute to the ongoing discussions on bullying, responsibility, and our online lives.
4.5 stars -- Not long ago, I heard a news story that deeply troubled me. It dealt with a resident of Las Vegas, who, after the mass shooting that happened there, decided that he no longer wished to have anything to do with guns or the gun culture. He made the decision to turn his legally-owned pistol and military-style rifle in to the local police department. He didn’t make the argument that this is what every gun owner had to do; it was just his personal decision that helped him sleep better at night. And because this is 2017, he documented the transaction on Facebook.
Not surprisingly, some gun enthusiasts disagreed with his symbolic action. So, did they have a civil discussion about the pros and cons of guns in America? Are you kidding? This is 2017! People sent the man death threats. They published his home address. They openly encouraged that his wife be raped and his home robbed. Fearing for himself and his family, the man deleted his Facebook post and moved house.
SHAME NATION is a book about precisely the type of interaction documented above. For huge numbers of us, sickening attacks and terrifying threats are daily occurrences, thanks to the plugged-in lives most of us now lead. “Truly, the breadth of human cruelty on digital display can be staggering,” Scheff writes. She then quotes a tech journalist: “We are living in an age of incivility.”
The first part of the book documents the myriad ways the “Shame Nation” has ensnared its victims. In some cases, the person being attacked did do or say something wrong or ill-advised; in others, the unfortunate victim just happened to be in the wrong place in the wrong time. In nearly all of the cases, the targeted person’s entire life was flipped upside-down, causing lasting repercussions. The introduction is written by Monica Lewinsky, arguably the first person to become the target of a global Internet-driven shame campaign.
Is shaming always wrong, though? It’s a thorny subject. “In some situations, shaming is all we have,” the author notes, after discussing Internet-driven campaigns against certain violent predators. Few would shed tears over the public condemnation of a convicted murderer or rapist. However, the Internet regularly treats people who look different or express political opinions or who have even been the victims of horrible tragedies in the same manner as the most bloodthirsty serial killers, and that’s what this book is about.
One memorable online shaming campaign involved the Harambe tragedy of 2016. A four-year old child fell into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati zoo, attracting the attention of a huge male gorilla. While most media outlets showed the less-upsetting footage of the animal standing motionless over the child, a full viewing of the gasp-inducing uncut footage shows that Harambe also grabbed the four-year-old by the leg and swung him around like a rag doll, as onlookers screamed in terror. After multiple failed attempts were made to entice the gorilla away from the little boy, Harambe was fatally shot by zoo officials. The Internet reacted hard and fast against the mother, blaming her for the death of this endangered animal.
Unfortunately, the author characterizes this reaction as a “firestorm among animal-rights activists online.” I understand that it’s common to characterize anyone who speaks up for an animal as an animal rights advocate, but as someone who actually considers herself part of that community, I can honestly say that the response from the actual animal rights organizations was far more nuanced, and tended to be along the lines of “Should we keep great apes in zoos?” or “It’s too late for Harambe, but there are so many other animals on whose fates we can still have a definite impact.” The trolls claiming to be on the side of Harambe were more aggressors than activists.
Also explored in this book is another animal-related tragedy that occurred in the same timeframe and exposed grieving parents to the full fury of Internet hatred. An alligator snatched and killed a toddler who was playing within his parents’ reach at a Disneyworld resort lagoon, an unprecedented event in the park’s 40+ year history.
Not discussed in SHAME NATION, yet seemingly close to the tipping point of mainstream attention, are the incredibly hostile advocates of aggressive dogs. Reading the words of their mob attacks on the bereaved parents of killed children is enough to make one doubt humanity. If you even just publicly side with the victims, name-calling and death threats may become your new normal. And serious maimings and deaths from dangerous dogs are far, far more common than those by gorilla or alligator.
It’s not outrageous to assert that Facebook and other social media have created a sea change in how we relate to one another, and not for the better. The text notes that the University of Michigan found through surveys of incoming freshmen that empathy has declined by 40 percent over the past three decades. It’s not even arguable that the nastiness and incredible political divisiveness that characterized the 2016 presidential election are thanks largely to the new norms created online. Scheff quotes a researcher who states, “I spoke to girls who said, ‘Social media [are] destroying our lives. But we can’t go off it, because then we’d have no life.”
While bullying and hate are some of the most high-profile ramifications of this new media, the tendency of people to forget all privacy and decorum, even for their own families, is another wide-reaching Facebook effect. Responsible parents and childfree people alike may feel relief that graphic “sharenting” is being called out. One teen girl from Austria actually sued her own parents for all of those embarrassing childhood photos they posted on Facebook, from shots of her getting her diaper changed to potty training. “They know no shame and no limit,” the girl lamented., Scheff writes. The Internet never forgets, as the author repeatedly reminds us, and not only will inadvisable photos never disappear, they can also easily land into the hands of predators looking to victimize children.
The second half of the book is more optimistic. Readers are empowered with numerous tips on how to take back their online presence and lives, even if they have been Internet shamed. The author emphasizes that readers shouldn’t think they have to avoid the Internet, or even social media, if they do not wish to. Instead, we need to start using online communication in a smarter and more mindful way.
Finally, the author profiles an impressive number of people, websites, and organizations that are fighting back against the Shame Nation. It is indeed heartening to remember that, as loud and nasty as the trolls are, there are millions more who want to make the online experience a friendly and welcoming one.
Interestingly, some aggressors who later regretted their behavior are quoted. Whether they are truly sorry or simply sorry the Internet turned against them is up for debate. The book describes a well-known radio talk show host who made nasty remarks about an actress’s body and weight and was roundly criticized for it. However, I know this personality for another reason—in the early 2000's, he visited my state and slaughtered a cow as on an on-air stunt in a ridiculous attempt to “get back at” PETA. The cow was paraded around and mocked by a crowd before her death, which was all broadcast.
Of the actress incident, the host “recogni[zed] that the experience was a “turning point” for him.” The book quotes him at length: ”The fact is, my words and the words that I use in describing people that I disagree with can be very painful and can be hurtful, and I don’t spend enough time recognizing this.” He acknowledged that there is never a reason to “attack somebody personally” or “tear people down,” online or off. To me, this person will always be the guy who thought an animal’s on-air death was a funny radio joke. I wonder if he recognizes that his words could just as aptly apply to this earlier action. Something tells me he does not.
SHAME NATION is overall, an intelligent, highly readable, and thought-provoking book that will contribute to the ongoing discussions on bullying, responsibility, and our online lives.
October 21, 2019
Why is this word “nood” used so often in this book?! I don’t understand. I never see people say this! It really takes away from the seriousness of revenge porn, when you're reading phrases like “If you’re considering taking or sending a nood”...
Just to nitpick a little more before I get to why I didn’t care for this.
There’s just so many cringeworthy words and phrases:
“one option is hiring an online reputation management (ORM) firm to clean up your cybermess.”
“cyberworld”
“cyberfriends”
“e-venge”
stop.
The problem with this book is that the first half is full of internet shaming horror stories, and information to make you believe that there’s no escape, internet shaming could happen to anyone (ie. even if you don’t use the internet, someone can take your photo and post it online).
Then in the second half there’s advice to prevent internet shaming.
Double-check your email recipient before sending out emails? Don’t tell people your date of birth? Only mention your pets occasionally?
The first half of this book feels relevant, the “advice” feels like something from a 90s guide to using the internet.
First, we get “what is said about you online has the power to control your future, from your job prospects to your emotional well-being” and later:
“Be cautious with using humor in emails, as this can easily be misinterpreted. Without seeing someone’s facial expression or hearing their tone, it’s hard to determine whether they are joking or serious.”
The thing is, there is not much you can do to avoid some internet shaming incident. It’s random chance for the most part.
I think this book should have explored how to encourage people to think of people they see online as actual human beings. That seemed to be a recurring theme that was not delved into.
Take the “People of Walmart” blog. Readers submit photos they’ve taken at walmart, photos taken without consent, of people they think look “funny” -
The people who run “People of Walmart” say they do not accept images of people with physical disabilities or mental disabilities (how could they know that from a photo?)
There have been countless incidents where people on Youtube make “funny” videos mocking people, and it later turns out they were making fun of someone with a mental or physical disability. Then they apologise, and continue what they’re doing, the cycle continues.
Another example, a woman called Caitlin shared a photo of her Lara Croft Halloween costume on Facebook, but they forgot to check their privacy settings and posted it publicly. The image went viral, with the caption “FRIDGE RAIDER”.
Caitlin decided to message some of the people (mostly women) publicly writing nasty comments on her photo (the usual: “you should kill yourself”). The common reaction she got was not remorse or defensiveness, just shock. They hadn’t considered that the person in the photo was a real person who might read what they wrote.
I was reminded of this:
Everyone On The Internet Is An Actual Person
Just to nitpick a little more before I get to why I didn’t care for this.
There’s just so many cringeworthy words and phrases:
“one option is hiring an online reputation management (ORM) firm to clean up your cybermess.”
“cyberworld”
“cyberfriends”
“e-venge”
stop.
The problem with this book is that the first half is full of internet shaming horror stories, and information to make you believe that there’s no escape, internet shaming could happen to anyone (ie. even if you don’t use the internet, someone can take your photo and post it online).
Then in the second half there’s advice to prevent internet shaming.
Double-check your email recipient before sending out emails? Don’t tell people your date of birth? Only mention your pets occasionally?
The first half of this book feels relevant, the “advice” feels like something from a 90s guide to using the internet.
First, we get “what is said about you online has the power to control your future, from your job prospects to your emotional well-being” and later:
“Be cautious with using humor in emails, as this can easily be misinterpreted. Without seeing someone’s facial expression or hearing their tone, it’s hard to determine whether they are joking or serious.”
The thing is, there is not much you can do to avoid some internet shaming incident. It’s random chance for the most part.
I think this book should have explored how to encourage people to think of people they see online as actual human beings. That seemed to be a recurring theme that was not delved into.
Take the “People of Walmart” blog. Readers submit photos they’ve taken at walmart, photos taken without consent, of people they think look “funny” -
The people who run “People of Walmart” say they do not accept images of people with physical disabilities or mental disabilities (how could they know that from a photo?)
There have been countless incidents where people on Youtube make “funny” videos mocking people, and it later turns out they were making fun of someone with a mental or physical disability. Then they apologise, and continue what they’re doing, the cycle continues.
Another example, a woman called Caitlin shared a photo of her Lara Croft Halloween costume on Facebook, but they forgot to check their privacy settings and posted it publicly. The image went viral, with the caption “FRIDGE RAIDER”.
Caitlin decided to message some of the people (mostly women) publicly writing nasty comments on her photo (the usual: “you should kill yourself”). The common reaction she got was not remorse or defensiveness, just shock. They hadn’t considered that the person in the photo was a real person who might read what they wrote.
I was reminded of this:
Everyone On The Internet Is An Actual Person
September 25, 2017
Thank you Netgalley for the ARC.
I'm not sure I'm the right reviewer for this book. I really don't have a social media "presence" beyond Goodreads and some Amazon reviews. There is a real trade-off between technology and privacy these days. Highways are more than one directional. The internet / "Information Highway" goes both ways.
As a matter of fact, I think the whole internet is getting creepier and creepier. Example: I log onto some local news sites semi-regular and then into USA Today to do a crossword puzzle..... and state and local politician's ads pop up there on a supposedly national web-site. Good grief.
People, especially kids and teens do dumb things. That's how we learn and develop good sense. Self esteem is THE result of taking esteemable actions..
I found Shame Nation to be mostly anecdotal rather than analytical and skewed to the outraged hysteric.. Its was also somewhat redundant. Gossip and rumors have been around as long as people. Some percentage of the population feels better when they put others down. They deserve our pity.
I'm not sure I'm the right reviewer for this book. I really don't have a social media "presence" beyond Goodreads and some Amazon reviews. There is a real trade-off between technology and privacy these days. Highways are more than one directional. The internet / "Information Highway" goes both ways.
As a matter of fact, I think the whole internet is getting creepier and creepier. Example: I log onto some local news sites semi-regular and then into USA Today to do a crossword puzzle..... and state and local politician's ads pop up there on a supposedly national web-site. Good grief.
People, especially kids and teens do dumb things. That's how we learn and develop good sense. Self esteem is THE result of taking esteemable actions..
I found Shame Nation to be mostly anecdotal rather than analytical and skewed to the outraged hysteric.. Its was also somewhat redundant. Gossip and rumors have been around as long as people. Some percentage of the population feels better when they put others down. They deserve our pity.
August 28, 2017
Having read and thoroughly enjoyed Jon Ronson's "So You've Been Publicly Shamed" I decided to request an ARC for this book.
"Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate brings to the forefront this culture of internet trolls, ridiculing and the general hate that is displayed by people online. The book also does a deep dive into Social Media etiquette, highlighting ways to keep a great presence online along with how to deal with trolls.
While I liked the examples in each chapters, particularly cases I was familiar with- The Plane Breakup, The Lady who tweeted about AIDS, the Miss America Teen etc... We got a behind the scene look at how their lives turned out after the whole "shame" incident. Having read "So You've Been Publicly Shamed" they covered majority if these cases, most time the book felt like a re-read.
The book got a little repetitive in some parts, but overall a solid book to read, especially in this digital age.
Thanks NetGalley for the ARC!
"Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate brings to the forefront this culture of internet trolls, ridiculing and the general hate that is displayed by people online. The book also does a deep dive into Social Media etiquette, highlighting ways to keep a great presence online along with how to deal with trolls.
While I liked the examples in each chapters, particularly cases I was familiar with- The Plane Breakup, The Lady who tweeted about AIDS, the Miss America Teen etc... We got a behind the scene look at how their lives turned out after the whole "shame" incident. Having read "So You've Been Publicly Shamed" they covered majority if these cases, most time the book felt like a re-read.
The book got a little repetitive in some parts, but overall a solid book to read, especially in this digital age.
Thanks NetGalley for the ARC!
September 13, 2021
It has horror stories of online hate and shaming, but also stories of hope, kindness and compassion winning. People are human, we'll all make mistakes. It's how we handle those mistakes or how we handle being shamed online somehow that matters. Online shaming will hurt and those feelings are valid. It doesn't diminish that. Has helpful tips for dealing with it and building a better online world. Builds on So You've Been Publicly Shamed by Jon Ronson. Highly recommend both! The narrator was great.
I don't think this was perfect but where I listened to it it's hard for me to remember my exact issues, but I did have some here and there, but I do still think it's a worthwhile read.
I don't think this was perfect but where I listened to it it's hard for me to remember my exact issues, but I did have some here and there, but I do still think it's a worthwhile read.
June 12, 2018
This book should be required reading. Schools should teach entire courses on online etiquette and this should be the textbook.
October 4, 2017
Bravo! This book will change lives.
Shame Nation is powerful! As much as the Internet provides unlimited potential, there can be disastrous consequences if you navigate blindly. The fact is, a day doesn’t go by without witnessing examples of hateful speech, public shaming, and online bullying. Get informed and be prepared. This book is filled with practical advice and real-world examples, as well as powerful tools and strategies, to ensure that you thrive—and don’t become a victim. I highly recommend this book.
Frank Sonnenberg
Award-winning author of six books
Shame Nation is powerful! As much as the Internet provides unlimited potential, there can be disastrous consequences if you navigate blindly. The fact is, a day doesn’t go by without witnessing examples of hateful speech, public shaming, and online bullying. Get informed and be prepared. This book is filled with practical advice and real-world examples, as well as powerful tools and strategies, to ensure that you thrive—and don’t become a victim. I highly recommend this book.
Frank Sonnenberg
Award-winning author of six books
October 20, 2017
Shame Nation is a must-read for all of us -- the path to creating a safer and kinder internet for all of us and our kids is understanding the scope and impact of all of our online actions. I love the combination of personal stories and the solution and activism focused answer to "what can we do?" Highly recommend.
February 19, 2018
Interesting book but it's more of a primer on how to avoid online attacks of viral shaming vs the psychological motivations of what makes a mob mentality start. Good points though and a slim read.
October 9, 2017
There’s lots of talk these days about cyberbullying playing out between kids 24-7, but what about adults who behave just as badly or worse?! Best-selling author and parenting advocate Sue Scheff was once a victim of adult cyberbullying and knows all too well of the havoc online harassment can cause. Since then, she has become a dedicated cybersafety activist who is committed to helping others recognize, prevent and respond to cyber-shaming.
Leading with a foreward by Monica Lewinsky, Shame Nation (authored by Scheff with Melissa Shorr) sheds an informative light on a dark topic that many adults are simply...well...often too ashamed to talk about. Real life cases--some of them well known and some not so much--are revealed in the first several chapter. It is enlightening and sometimes shocking to learn how many innocent people become unexpected victims by the turn of a keystroke. The good news is Shame Nation follows through by offering chapter after chapter of helpful tips ranging from how to head internet Trolls off at the bridge before they attack, recover from an unforeseen online ambush and ways to alleviate such situations happening again in future. The practical advice can be used as a primer for parents seeking to teach kids ways to avoid becoming online victims, or for anyone who has posted a photo or a comment they wish they could take back and still haven’t recovered.
My grandmother used to say, “What goes on in the dark, comes out in the light,” and thank goodness this Shame Nation offers a powerful beacon that sheds important truths on a this much needed and timely topic. Truly a must read for anyone and everyone who uses the Internet.
Leading with a foreward by Monica Lewinsky, Shame Nation (authored by Scheff with Melissa Shorr) sheds an informative light on a dark topic that many adults are simply...well...often too ashamed to talk about. Real life cases--some of them well known and some not so much--are revealed in the first several chapter. It is enlightening and sometimes shocking to learn how many innocent people become unexpected victims by the turn of a keystroke. The good news is Shame Nation follows through by offering chapter after chapter of helpful tips ranging from how to head internet Trolls off at the bridge before they attack, recover from an unforeseen online ambush and ways to alleviate such situations happening again in future. The practical advice can be used as a primer for parents seeking to teach kids ways to avoid becoming online victims, or for anyone who has posted a photo or a comment they wish they could take back and still haven’t recovered.
My grandmother used to say, “What goes on in the dark, comes out in the light,” and thank goodness this Shame Nation offers a powerful beacon that sheds important truths on a this much needed and timely topic. Truly a must read for anyone and everyone who uses the Internet.
December 19, 2019
The priest would do that in Church. Later, when the school was made mandatory the teachers will shame and humiliate any one who would not obey them. Every aspect of the society is permeated by bullies shaming those who do not obey and conform. Draft dodgers, the shopkeepers, big business, women who don't breed, women who don't breastfeed, anything and anyone.
Enter the small minds with a big project: let them regulate the Internet. And if you don't conform, these bullies will tell you how you are against women and for raping children.
Enter the small minds with a big project: let them regulate the Internet. And if you don't conform, these bullies will tell you how you are against women and for raping children.
January 4, 2018
Smart, timely, well-researched and compassionately presented--I started recommending it to friends before I had even finished reading it! For all of us who want to end cyberbullying, this is a must-read!!
February 9, 2020
This is the second I've read about shaming. I wish it can be translated into Burmese. Our online community really needs to read this and Jon Ronson's book.
January 10, 2018
I've seen and experienced first hand the effects of cyberbullying both as a student and a professional adult. It's something that follows you forever. You can't get away, and it's a topic that isn't discussed nearly enough, especially as many who haven't experienced it or don't know anyone who has experienced it, don't understand the seriousness of it. Recently my dad and I were discussing cyberbullying, and he said: "well we were just tougher in my day". My response was: "you went home at the end of the day and could get away from it. You could move. You could get a new job. It wasn't something that followed you everywhere forever." This book addresses exactly that issue: how pervasive and permanent cyberbullying and its affects are.
July 29, 2017
This book addresses a very important modern-day problem: internet shaming. The first part of the book discusses various cases, some well-known--such as Justine Sacco and , and some not so well-known. The cases run the gamut from people simply being stupid or thoughtless to revenge porn to mean polls and memes to body shaming. Sometimes the shaming is even done simply to make the shamer look good (think, SJW’s and ultra-left). With the reach of the internet, shaming can quickly escalate with dog-piling by total strangers who participate with glee in mocking or criticizing someone.
I bookmarked a quote near the beginning of the book that I think hits on something key: “[Shaming] goes with the same issue of the breakdown of civility and respect, the diminishment of empathy…” This point is well demonstrated by the examples given in the book.
The latter part of the book discusses ways to minimize one’s chance of being shamed, recover after being internet shamed as well as ways to, perhaps, mitigate the phenomenon in the future. A mostly excellent variety of resources are included, and I thought a lot of the suggestions for minimizing shaming potential were good.
There were a few things that I didn’t care for in the book or that I thought were inaccurate. The authors don’t clearly differentiate between mocking or criticizing a person and actual harassment, which has a specific legal meaning. This difference is crucial when talking about solutions to shaming. Harassment is already illegal; mocking and criticizing are not.
Crash Override Network is mentioned as a resource, but given the online and offline behavior of its founders, I can’t see how anyone would recommend them. Related to that, the author’s describe Eron Gjoni’s blog post about Zoe Quinn (of Crash Override Network) as a “vengeful screed”. I stumbled on the whole Gamergate thing well after it was under way, and no neutral observer could call his post “vengeful”. He was the one who had been emotionally manipulated, lied to, and gas-lit (is that a word?); he was the victim, not her.
Dharun Ravi did not “record” his roommate; he live-streamed it. And yes, someone did stop it, contrary to what is stated in the book. The live stream lasted a minute or two max, if I remember correctly. The book also states “it was simply too much” and then implies Ravi’s action directly caused Clementi’s suicide. This is contrary to what was brought out at the trial--that Clementi had had problems before ever arriving at the university, going back to conflict with his mother over his sexual orientation. The whole passage discussing this refers to the participants as “Ravi” (his last name) and “Tyler” (his first name) in a pathetically obvious attempt to manipulate the emotions of the reader. Just call them both by either their first or last names.
Also, I know this an ARC, so I suggest the copy editor review the proper usage of principle/principal.
So overall, I would definitely recommend the book, with the caveat that some cases were not portrayed accurately.
[Thanks to NetGalley for an ARC of this book.]
I bookmarked a quote near the beginning of the book that I think hits on something key: “[Shaming] goes with the same issue of the breakdown of civility and respect, the diminishment of empathy…” This point is well demonstrated by the examples given in the book.
The latter part of the book discusses ways to minimize one’s chance of being shamed, recover after being internet shamed as well as ways to, perhaps, mitigate the phenomenon in the future. A mostly excellent variety of resources are included, and I thought a lot of the suggestions for minimizing shaming potential were good.
There were a few things that I didn’t care for in the book or that I thought were inaccurate. The authors don’t clearly differentiate between mocking or criticizing a person and actual harassment, which has a specific legal meaning. This difference is crucial when talking about solutions to shaming. Harassment is already illegal; mocking and criticizing are not.
Crash Override Network is mentioned as a resource, but given the online and offline behavior of its founders, I can’t see how anyone would recommend them. Related to that, the author’s describe Eron Gjoni’s blog post about Zoe Quinn (of Crash Override Network) as a “vengeful screed”. I stumbled on the whole Gamergate thing well after it was under way, and no neutral observer could call his post “vengeful”. He was the one who had been emotionally manipulated, lied to, and gas-lit (is that a word?); he was the victim, not her.
Dharun Ravi did not “record” his roommate; he live-streamed it. And yes, someone did stop it, contrary to what is stated in the book. The live stream lasted a minute or two max, if I remember correctly. The book also states “it was simply too much” and then implies Ravi’s action directly caused Clementi’s suicide. This is contrary to what was brought out at the trial--that Clementi had had problems before ever arriving at the university, going back to conflict with his mother over his sexual orientation. The whole passage discussing this refers to the participants as “Ravi” (his last name) and “Tyler” (his first name) in a pathetically obvious attempt to manipulate the emotions of the reader. Just call them both by either their first or last names.
Also, I know this an ARC, so I suggest the copy editor review the proper usage of principle/principal.
So overall, I would definitely recommend the book, with the caveat that some cases were not portrayed accurately.
[Thanks to NetGalley for an ARC of this book.]
August 11, 2018
Yikes. I picked this up thinking it would be a sociological look at why we're all acting so horribly online, and I was completely wrong. This is more a look at what is happening, and not, why, but what you can do for yourself and your kids to prevent a mess or try and clean one up. It's terrible what is going on out there, especially for kids and teens. If I had a kid, I would make them read this book, and I definitely recommend this for any parents to read. Maybe parents are already aware of all this, but I sure wasn't, and would want to be informed and armed if I were a parent. People, it turns out, are awful!
June 9, 2018
A solid examination of the epidemic of online hate and mob "justice" written by someone who experienced its effects firsthand. Ms. Scheff offers examples of people whose lives were ruined by online mobs for posting one tweet or one unwise Facebook comment. People rarely consider the context or any extenuating circumstances when they decide to victimize strangers online. The book has definitely made me rethink some of my own conduct. As Jim Jefferies says on his show every week, "we can all do better."
October 11, 2025
Author: Sue Scheff
Title: Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate
Series:
Cover Rating: Bronze Star
Book Rating:
3 Stars
About the Book:
Drawing from real-life stories and research from top experts, Shame Nation gives an in-depth look at how the rise in online shaming is affecting our way of life, and stripping society of both compassion and privacy.
A rogue tweet can bring down a business; an army of trolls can run a celebrity down; and for many, harassment leads to isolation, depression, and even suicide. By peeling back the different forms and consequences of digital habits, this book offers real discussion on how to prevent and protect against our culture’s growing lack of empathy and common sense.
My Thoughts:
Shame Nations is one of those Non Fiction heed my warning reads about a topic that everyone already knows all about but refuses to admit or confess exists.
America has a serious issue with both denial and ignorance and blending in that problem when it comes to online/ cyber bullying is even worse.
Cyber Bullying is a taboo topic that hits many people where it hurts and does damage to more people than they would care to admit. People all day long post their most private intimate life details online trusting that they will get no less than the royal treatment about everything they say or part take in but that couldn't be further from the truth.
The internet can be harsh, it can be cruel and very emotionally devastating for some. Its a place where anyone can be who they aren't, lie about who they are, and treat anyone regardless of who it is like dirt under their shoe all because its an anonymous face that doesn't come with consequences when you decide to shred their soul in half. If you took those same people who love to decimate everyone else on the internet and placed them in the real world then told them to say the same thing to a complete stranger they'd balk at you because they're under the assumption that what they say online doesn't matter and what they do doesn't have true to life consequences.
Some that can cost another person their life.
A person can shrug off the responsibility of their words but the truth is words have power in this place people call the internet.
Its rather sad how this instrument that was meant to connect us all to eachother and the outside world, meant to bring us closer together as a race has done nothing but make us more separate and alone than ever and sadly less human than ever.
While parts of this book get rather long in detail its a good read that should be passed along to those who haven't yet experienced the dark side of the online social world as a warning to those who would take things much too far.
Disclaimer:
Krissys Bookshelf Reviews received a digital copy in exchange for an honest review from Sourcebooks Publishing via Netgalley. All thoughts, comments and ratings are my own.
Note:
If any of Krissy's Bookshelf Reviews has been helpful please stop by to like my post or leave a comment to let me know what you think. I love hearing from you!
Title: Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate
Series:
Cover Rating: Bronze Star
Book Rating:
3 Stars
About the Book:
Drawing from real-life stories and research from top experts, Shame Nation gives an in-depth look at how the rise in online shaming is affecting our way of life, and stripping society of both compassion and privacy.
A rogue tweet can bring down a business; an army of trolls can run a celebrity down; and for many, harassment leads to isolation, depression, and even suicide. By peeling back the different forms and consequences of digital habits, this book offers real discussion on how to prevent and protect against our culture’s growing lack of empathy and common sense.
My Thoughts:
Shame Nations is one of those Non Fiction heed my warning reads about a topic that everyone already knows all about but refuses to admit or confess exists.
America has a serious issue with both denial and ignorance and blending in that problem when it comes to online/ cyber bullying is even worse.
Cyber Bullying is a taboo topic that hits many people where it hurts and does damage to more people than they would care to admit. People all day long post their most private intimate life details online trusting that they will get no less than the royal treatment about everything they say or part take in but that couldn't be further from the truth.
The internet can be harsh, it can be cruel and very emotionally devastating for some. Its a place where anyone can be who they aren't, lie about who they are, and treat anyone regardless of who it is like dirt under their shoe all because its an anonymous face that doesn't come with consequences when you decide to shred their soul in half. If you took those same people who love to decimate everyone else on the internet and placed them in the real world then told them to say the same thing to a complete stranger they'd balk at you because they're under the assumption that what they say online doesn't matter and what they do doesn't have true to life consequences.
Some that can cost another person their life.
A person can shrug off the responsibility of their words but the truth is words have power in this place people call the internet.
Its rather sad how this instrument that was meant to connect us all to eachother and the outside world, meant to bring us closer together as a race has done nothing but make us more separate and alone than ever and sadly less human than ever.
While parts of this book get rather long in detail its a good read that should be passed along to those who haven't yet experienced the dark side of the online social world as a warning to those who would take things much too far.
Disclaimer:
Krissys Bookshelf Reviews received a digital copy in exchange for an honest review from Sourcebooks Publishing via Netgalley. All thoughts, comments and ratings are my own.
Note:
If any of Krissy's Bookshelf Reviews has been helpful please stop by to like my post or leave a comment to let me know what you think. I love hearing from you!
July 10, 2019
If you are online in ANY way this book is a must read. In 2003 Sue Scheff was cyberattacked by a spiteful client. The attack almost ruined Scheff's business and nearly destroyed her self-confidence, but she chose to fight back and won a landmark lawsuit. Now she works to help people prevent and recover from cyberattacks. In Shame Nation Scheff explores why there has been such a rise in online hate and cyber-shaming, preventing and surviving a cyberattack, and how to recover after you've survived an attack and ways organizations are working to combat online hate. There are tons of real stories from people who've been bullied and shamed online to illustrate Scheff's points. And while these stories (and the thousands more that happen every day) and sad and terrible, Scheff does end the book on a hopeful note that this current tsunami of online hate will inspire a backlash of love and hope. Definitely eye-opening and worth reading.
Some quotes I liked:
"Strikingly, Chubb Limited recently became the first insurance firm to offer its clients coverage against cyberbullying and other forms of man-made digital disasters. For $70 a year, American families can add a protection plan to their existing policy and get reimbursed for up to $60,000 in costs resulting from online harassment, such as unwarranted job loss, technical support for tracking down cyberfoes, public relations support for image repair, and even therapy bills." (p. xix)
"Comedian and actress Margaret Cho spoke in an Observer article about taking a specific action she dubs 'hate shame.' People often say, 'Oh, don't feed the trolls.' I screenshot what they say, report it, and I'll send it to their employers, their spouses - things of that nature, where you're calling attention to the hatred and cutting it off at the same time with immediate hate shame. If you hate shame, it automatically forces them to revisit the hatred they're spewing, that can be potentially very damaging. And using it against them - as opposed to internalizing the trolling and feeling uncomfortable with it - it's a good opportunity to stand up for yourself and also bring reverence to the kind of racism, misogyny, and homophobia that these people perpetuate. We should all practice this kind of self-defense." (p. 95-6)
"Emily Lindin, author of Unslut: a Diary and a Memoir, has a strong message that always strikes a chord when she talks with teen girls about slut shaming: she points out that online porn is readily available, so these boys already have all the masturbatory material they could ever desire - what they are really after is power to lord over you, control you, even blackmail you. She asks young women pointedly, 'Do you really want to give them that power?'" (p. 148)
"Researchers at the University of Michigan crunched data that tracked years of incoming college freshman's empathy, and found that empathy has declined by 40 percent in the last three decades - while narcissism has risen by 58 percent. This inability to see those on the other side of the computer screen as people deserving of our compassion is one of the huge drivers of our Shame Nation." (p. 227)
Some quotes I liked:
"Strikingly, Chubb Limited recently became the first insurance firm to offer its clients coverage against cyberbullying and other forms of man-made digital disasters. For $70 a year, American families can add a protection plan to their existing policy and get reimbursed for up to $60,000 in costs resulting from online harassment, such as unwarranted job loss, technical support for tracking down cyberfoes, public relations support for image repair, and even therapy bills." (p. xix)
"Comedian and actress Margaret Cho spoke in an Observer article about taking a specific action she dubs 'hate shame.' People often say, 'Oh, don't feed the trolls.' I screenshot what they say, report it, and I'll send it to their employers, their spouses - things of that nature, where you're calling attention to the hatred and cutting it off at the same time with immediate hate shame. If you hate shame, it automatically forces them to revisit the hatred they're spewing, that can be potentially very damaging. And using it against them - as opposed to internalizing the trolling and feeling uncomfortable with it - it's a good opportunity to stand up for yourself and also bring reverence to the kind of racism, misogyny, and homophobia that these people perpetuate. We should all practice this kind of self-defense." (p. 95-6)
"Emily Lindin, author of Unslut: a Diary and a Memoir, has a strong message that always strikes a chord when she talks with teen girls about slut shaming: she points out that online porn is readily available, so these boys already have all the masturbatory material they could ever desire - what they are really after is power to lord over you, control you, even blackmail you. She asks young women pointedly, 'Do you really want to give them that power?'" (p. 148)
"Researchers at the University of Michigan crunched data that tracked years of incoming college freshman's empathy, and found that empathy has declined by 40 percent in the last three decades - while narcissism has risen by 58 percent. This inability to see those on the other side of the computer screen as people deserving of our compassion is one of the huge drivers of our Shame Nation." (p. 227)
March 16, 2020
4 star rating - Non-Fiction ( contemporary ) - Mature reading level
The book "Shame Nation" digs into the topic about online hate and how we as a society can stop cyberbullying from occurring in our own lives. Most people when they post on social media believe that only their followers and close friends will see, not knowing that millions around the world can see what they posted. Now days on social media it's so easy to create an account and start negatively commenting on other peoples pages without facing any repercussions. Majority of the times, online hate and cyberbullying gets spread because something was said that the majority of people didn't agree with or the attacker is trying to feel better about themselves by hating on others. With the power that social media has, people's careers and their livelihoods can be ruined all by getting exposed or voicing their opinions. No matter how much you want to talk about something, make sure that what you say can't harm your future self.
Overall "Shame Nation" was an outstanding book because it really went into detail about the dangers of social media and how it can mentally effect someone to the point where they decide to harm themselves because they aren't up to standards society has put in place for them. I was really intrigued when Sue Scheff talked about how celebrities have it worse then anyone else because their lives are publicized by reporters and broadcasted on every social media network for everyone to see. She explained how celebrities walk on a tight rope when online because if they say anything that majority of their followers don't believe in, they're apart of this "Cancelled Culture" and fans will hop to the next celebrity that supports their viewpoints. Also, Scheff explains that whatever you post on social media can come and haunt you for years to come. The meaning to this statement is that if you post things on social media and think nobody will see them, your wrong because when you apply for a job, the company will look at your social media pages because most companies believe that their employees are a representation of what the company stands behind.
The book "Shame Nation" digs into the topic about online hate and how we as a society can stop cyberbullying from occurring in our own lives. Most people when they post on social media believe that only their followers and close friends will see, not knowing that millions around the world can see what they posted. Now days on social media it's so easy to create an account and start negatively commenting on other peoples pages without facing any repercussions. Majority of the times, online hate and cyberbullying gets spread because something was said that the majority of people didn't agree with or the attacker is trying to feel better about themselves by hating on others. With the power that social media has, people's careers and their livelihoods can be ruined all by getting exposed or voicing their opinions. No matter how much you want to talk about something, make sure that what you say can't harm your future self.
Overall "Shame Nation" was an outstanding book because it really went into detail about the dangers of social media and how it can mentally effect someone to the point where they decide to harm themselves because they aren't up to standards society has put in place for them. I was really intrigued when Sue Scheff talked about how celebrities have it worse then anyone else because their lives are publicized by reporters and broadcasted on every social media network for everyone to see. She explained how celebrities walk on a tight rope when online because if they say anything that majority of their followers don't believe in, they're apart of this "Cancelled Culture" and fans will hop to the next celebrity that supports their viewpoints. Also, Scheff explains that whatever you post on social media can come and haunt you for years to come. The meaning to this statement is that if you post things on social media and think nobody will see them, your wrong because when you apply for a job, the company will look at your social media pages because most companies believe that their employees are a representation of what the company stands behind.
February 1, 2023
This book had no idea what it was trying to be and did all the things it attempted badly. Starts with a lukewarm exploration of the issue which covers a lot of cases of online shaming that anyone remotely au fait with the subject (or indeed has just spent any significant time on the internet) will already know about. It then meanders off into trying to be a how-to-internet guide that sounds like something a parent would have written in the nineties without ever actually using the internet themselves. It acknowledges that some degree of online presence is practically expected these days, but then warns us not to overshare about ourselves, where we live, our families, our pets, what our hobbies and interests are, where you work, what you do at work, be hypervigilant about what pictures we share... if you can't even talk about your hobbies online then what on earth would your online presence even be?! It really feels like an online existence guide written by an outsider.
This in turn meanders off into being a parenting guide which has absolutely nothing new to say and then pivots off in another direction again to be a kind of primer on how to not get shamed but also what to do when it does happen and how to rebuild reputation following that. A lot of the same messages get repeated, many of which are platitudes like 'be kind', 'teach your children empathy', 'put yourself in their shoes'. There's also some strange and unnecessary gendered language in certain sections, like specifically referring to female pronouns when discussing websites with eating disorder resource signposting and when talking about anti-bullying school resources, and also some extremely cringy word choice. This writer will stick cyber- in front of just about anything. Cyberfriends, cyberfoes, cyberblunders, cyberslime, cyberhugs, cybermobs, cyberslamming, cyberhumiliation, cyberexperts, cyberlife, cyberdrama, cyberthrashers, cybertorture, cybersavvy. I could go on. Please cyberstop.
(also, ending on an Ellen quote did not age well, did it.)
This in turn meanders off into being a parenting guide which has absolutely nothing new to say and then pivots off in another direction again to be a kind of primer on how to not get shamed but also what to do when it does happen and how to rebuild reputation following that. A lot of the same messages get repeated, many of which are platitudes like 'be kind', 'teach your children empathy', 'put yourself in their shoes'. There's also some strange and unnecessary gendered language in certain sections, like specifically referring to female pronouns when discussing websites with eating disorder resource signposting and when talking about anti-bullying school resources, and also some extremely cringy word choice. This writer will stick cyber- in front of just about anything. Cyberfriends, cyberfoes, cyberblunders, cyberslime, cyberhugs, cybermobs, cyberslamming, cyberhumiliation, cyberexperts, cyberlife, cyberdrama, cyberthrashers, cybertorture, cybersavvy. I could go on. Please cyberstop.
(also, ending on an Ellen quote did not age well, did it.)
March 15, 2020
Abhay Rao
Book Review of Shame Nation
Shame Nation can be described as a self-help book that primarily helps those who are facing variety of issues or scandals across the internet. The books shares all of the massive insults, bullying, and hate that is easily spreadable through the internet. The biggest interest that the book attempts to draw upon its reader is true stories. The author, Sue Scheff, includes personal and shared stories of sex-related embarrassment, mistakes on tape, swatting, and fat shaming. The book causes you to become paranoid and question true aspects of internet and the intent of personal use. Shame Nation exposes the truth in the internet and by doing so explains causes of how we reached this and what we can do prevent it. The book explores ways to reduce and limit the amount of constant internet hate and how a society limits it. Scheff explains how shame occurs and how to even recover from acts of online shame. The chapters offer trolls and funny aspects to the internet, all the while explains how to keep yourself protected from acts of hatred.
I would recommend this book to anyone who may be in a or apart of an internet scandal or someone who is interested in protecting themselves form the variety of online hate we see in the world. The book explores ways to solve internet hate and teaches us valuable lessons that we can apply to our personal everyday use of the internet. The last few chapters of the book offer a good real world aspect of social media and why it's important to think and control what people make of us before posting. We should remember that the world of online hatred can be prevented if we focus on a common goal and remember to be nice to one another. This book is a good read and is recommended to anyone interested in the world of online hate.
Book Review of Shame Nation
Shame Nation can be described as a self-help book that primarily helps those who are facing variety of issues or scandals across the internet. The books shares all of the massive insults, bullying, and hate that is easily spreadable through the internet. The biggest interest that the book attempts to draw upon its reader is true stories. The author, Sue Scheff, includes personal and shared stories of sex-related embarrassment, mistakes on tape, swatting, and fat shaming. The book causes you to become paranoid and question true aspects of internet and the intent of personal use. Shame Nation exposes the truth in the internet and by doing so explains causes of how we reached this and what we can do prevent it. The book explores ways to reduce and limit the amount of constant internet hate and how a society limits it. Scheff explains how shame occurs and how to even recover from acts of online shame. The chapters offer trolls and funny aspects to the internet, all the while explains how to keep yourself protected from acts of hatred.
I would recommend this book to anyone who may be in a or apart of an internet scandal or someone who is interested in protecting themselves form the variety of online hate we see in the world. The book explores ways to solve internet hate and teaches us valuable lessons that we can apply to our personal everyday use of the internet. The last few chapters of the book offer a good real world aspect of social media and why it's important to think and control what people make of us before posting. We should remember that the world of online hatred can be prevented if we focus on a common goal and remember to be nice to one another. This book is a good read and is recommended to anyone interested in the world of online hate.
June 8, 2022
Not impressed. The first half of the book had interesting information about many well known examples of public shaming on the internet. Many of which I had heard about before, but still pretty interesting.
Then the second half of the book came into play, which was half "internet shaming can ruin your reputation forever!" and half "advice on how to avoid on-line shaming/self-care tips like "pay it forward". The author should have stayed on topic rather than spending the last section of the book playing pop-psychologist.
I was thinking about giving this to some of my high school students to talk about appropriate and inappropriate self-disclosure and how inappropriate information can kill your relationships and on-line presence. However, the second half of the book gave such obvious warnings about internet common sense and self-care techniques you can use that I totally lost interest. Some of the advice was so obvious, it was laughable. "Check your privacy settings" etc. But even if you do have your privacy set correctly, people can still find those embarrassing pictures...
So this book didn't impress me - especially the second half. So You've Been Publicly Shamed was better.
Makes me glad I came of age before the invention of social media and smart phones with cameras.
Then the second half of the book came into play, which was half "internet shaming can ruin your reputation forever!" and half "advice on how to avoid on-line shaming/self-care tips like "pay it forward". The author should have stayed on topic rather than spending the last section of the book playing pop-psychologist.
I was thinking about giving this to some of my high school students to talk about appropriate and inappropriate self-disclosure and how inappropriate information can kill your relationships and on-line presence. However, the second half of the book gave such obvious warnings about internet common sense and self-care techniques you can use that I totally lost interest. Some of the advice was so obvious, it was laughable. "Check your privacy settings" etc. But even if you do have your privacy set correctly, people can still find those embarrassing pictures...
So this book didn't impress me - especially the second half. So You've Been Publicly Shamed was better.
Makes me glad I came of age before the invention of social media and smart phones with cameras.
August 8, 2024
(Hoopla) I am not sure why the author wrote the book, but it becomes clear by the time the reader completes a third of the book that:
(1) Jordan Peterson was correct about how women demonstrate their aggressiveness via verbal attacks, gossip, innuendo and reputation destruction, all of which can be accomplished via social media
(2) the cell phone - social media culture has led to a loneliness epidemic where people share frustrations on-line that they would have shared with actual IRL friends 50 years ago, and those posts set them up to be excoriated by on-line strangers (it is crazy that the author has to write “don’t post your workplace gripes on social media”); and
(3) the author leans toward the defense of women insofar as she excuses women that troll, because they don’t understand the impact of what they are doing, while excoriating men for the same exact behavior because they are nefarious. (I will always love the irony of a feminist that gives different motivations for the same behavior, while insisting men and women are the same).
I think the author is wrong when she suggests that the internet is real life. Just because some people make money on the internet or interact with a group of friends on it, still doesn’t make the internet real life.
I suspect if the title of the book was “services available for when you are dragged on the internet”, it would not have been as interesting, but that was the most useful part of the book.
(1) Jordan Peterson was correct about how women demonstrate their aggressiveness via verbal attacks, gossip, innuendo and reputation destruction, all of which can be accomplished via social media
(2) the cell phone - social media culture has led to a loneliness epidemic where people share frustrations on-line that they would have shared with actual IRL friends 50 years ago, and those posts set them up to be excoriated by on-line strangers (it is crazy that the author has to write “don’t post your workplace gripes on social media”); and
(3) the author leans toward the defense of women insofar as she excuses women that troll, because they don’t understand the impact of what they are doing, while excoriating men for the same exact behavior because they are nefarious. (I will always love the irony of a feminist that gives different motivations for the same behavior, while insisting men and women are the same).
I think the author is wrong when she suggests that the internet is real life. Just because some people make money on the internet or interact with a group of friends on it, still doesn’t make the internet real life.
I suspect if the title of the book was “services available for when you are dragged on the internet”, it would not have been as interesting, but that was the most useful part of the book.
February 5, 2018
This book is a look at stories of people who have experienced online shaming and strategies to combat online hate, from not feeding the trolls to resources you can turn to if you or your child find yourself the victim of revenge porn or sextortion. The examples of public shamings were the most interesting part; Ronson's So You've Been Publicly Shamed covers the journalistic aspect of shaming online more thoroughly but there are some different and more recent examples here as well. Most of the advice is sound as well, although none of it is new information if you pay attention to technology trends. Still, every parent and anyone putting content online would be well-advised to read a few books like this before their child hits late elementary to middle school age, because having some technology savvy and teaching your child about what constitutes unacceptable behavior from predatory adults online can make a major difference in warding off public shaming.
June 7, 2018
I really like the premise of this book - online shaming, which is unfortunately a topic that requires a lot of discussion. This book includes a plethora of salient examples of cyberbullying and suggestions of what to do if you personally experience it. I do wish that the book had delved more deeply into why people partake in cyberbullying, though. I think that the 'why people do it' question contributes to how we can change it as a society - not just how we respond to it personally. And that's the other drawback to the book: the calls to action were more individually based, rather than collectively oriented. While individuals do need to know how to response to cyberbullying, we also need broader social responses to fight it on a larger scale. If school rules and company policies aren't enough to prevent it, what else can we do? Once we understand why people do it, we can target those specific behaviors and thought processes.
Read
January 15, 2018This book doesn't know what it wants to be, and it falls short on everything it tries to be. It's not an exploration of online shame -- it's far too shallow for that -- and it's not a book about combating online shame -- there are books which do this far better and without being Internet 101. A better book to read for the second is The Smart Girl's Guide to Privacy. For the first, I think being on the internet for any amount of time is more insightful than the glossing over a ton of stories without much context, analysis, or insight.
You can safely bypass this one. It wants to be Peggy Orenstein but isn't.
You can safely bypass this one. It wants to be Peggy Orenstein but isn't.
June 1, 2018
Shame Nation reads like a modern horror story. It shows how quickly a persons life can be change forever with one misstep on the internet. There is a lot of good advice throughout the book to help readers avoid the pitfalls that others have found themselves in, which makes it a great reference book. That being said, I don't think I would read this book again cover-to-cover. As a reference, it provides the reader with plenty of resources they can go to if they find themselves needing help.
Shame Nation is a great reminder that the internet is forever. Our future may be decided by something we wrote as a teenager.
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Author: Sue Scheff
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Publication Date: 2017
Shame Nation is a great reminder that the internet is forever. Our future may be decided by something we wrote as a teenager.
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Author: Sue Scheff
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Publication Date: 2017
May 6, 2023
There was someone (insert name here) that was bullied. At the end of the day, we all realized to ourselves, "my god, we are all (insert name here)."
I really like the transition from the effects of cyberbullying to the solutions that we can take to be better people. It was good ending off on the note of kindness, which I did not honestly see coming.
There was probably no better person to do the foreword than Monica Lewinsky. I heard of her story in the history books, but I never took a second thought to realize the psychological trauma and damage this had for a human being. There's a phrase in the book that I strongly agree with; we are all snowflakes, "unique, but fragile". We have to look out for one another and be in each other's corners.
Let's be good.
I really like the transition from the effects of cyberbullying to the solutions that we can take to be better people. It was good ending off on the note of kindness, which I did not honestly see coming.
There was probably no better person to do the foreword than Monica Lewinsky. I heard of her story in the history books, but I never took a second thought to realize the psychological trauma and damage this had for a human being. There's a phrase in the book that I strongly agree with; we are all snowflakes, "unique, but fragile". We have to look out for one another and be in each other's corners.
Let's be good.
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