Once a Dancer: An Autobiography

by Allegra Kent

Allegra Kent joined the New York City Ballet at the age of fifteen and, only two years later, inspired Balanchine's unforgettable The Unanswered Question. Beautiful, sensuous, and mysterious, she quickly became an essential Balanchine dancer-and the story of her personal life is as dramatic as they story of her rise to fame. Her account of a bizarre childhood, a magnificent if curious dance career, a charged, complicated domestic life with photographer Bert Stern, and a never-ending struggle with emotional, physical, and financial pressures is fascinating-as are her portraits of the other great dance figures who punctuated her life, from Balanchine to Baryshnikov.

Genres: Memoir, Biography, Nonfiction, Autobiography, Biography Memoir, Art

352 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1997

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Muse-of-Balanchine oeuvre keeps getting better and better. Kent's autobiography is bananas, but in an extravagant, amazing way. Kent is a woman with a viewpoint, let's put it like that, and her writing (which I imagine is a reflection of her dancing) is full of idiosyncrasies, a cross between perfect storm and hot mess. But again, amazing.

I can't really describe the wonder of Allegra Kent, so I'll just leave some passages:

"Cornell sometimes addressed his letters to 'Miss Allegretta Kent,' because I often signed my name that way. Allegretto is a slower musical tempo than allegro and seemed to have little regret built into it. I don't trust people who say they have no regrets."

"I had been the baby in the family, the youngest child. The focus had been on me. Now there was a new baby, Suzanne, and I was a middle child of the ballet."

AND her last line of the book, which chronicles her itinerant childhood, turbulent marriage, troubling family dynamics, sad regret over cosmetic surgeries pushed by her mother, and dramatically bi-polar dance career: "Dancing well is the best revenge."

Needless to say, I am super excited to read Kent's diet-and-exercise book, The Dancers' Body Book, which looks cuckoo.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

You know, I feel like my system for giving stars is totally arbitrary. What’s the criterion? Anyway, I'm rating this one strictly on my level of enjoyment. This was a really engaging read. I was totally sucked in and stayed up late to get my fix. In a lot of ways Allegra Kent's story is very tragic--so many of her decisions weren't based on her own intuition and desire, but on the advice of others, which almost never works out well. Her youth was squandered because she ignored her own inner voice, and her career wasn't what it could have been as a result. I actually know a woman who reminds me of Allegra, but the difference is that this woman is wholly averse to change or self-knowledge. Her fear and arrogance have destined her to a future of more of the same. Allegra, on the other hand, continued to pursue growth and change in her life. She wasn't always able to confront her fears, but dissatisfaction never ceased to motivate her to pursue change when she felt strong enough for it. I admire that, but wonder what might have been had she not let others affect her love of and commitment to dancing for so long; nevertheless, she eventually found peace and equilibrium. At any rate, hearing her describe dance really drew out my own buried love of ballet. I've certainly struggled with my own daemons, but ballet itself, in its purest sense and without some of the negative aspects of dance culture, was one of my greatest loves. It's been about ten years, but I do miss it. I wonder if I just might don my slippers once again.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another autobiography from a Balanchine dancer. Kent could have been a writer in another life. She's weird and fascinating. She seems to exist in sort of this half world between reality and total absurdity. She has strange observations about people and writes in weird metaphors. Her writing is intricate and extremely intimate. I kind of like her. As a dancer, I would describe her as "far out" in a totally 60s sense of the word. She's always pushing beyond her limits, every extension heads into outer space. Watch her in a video of Bugaku if you can. There is a dancer in NYCB right now that kind of reminds me of her. Blond creature--Janie something.

The one disturbing thing about Kent is that she goes from man to man expecting them to take care of her. She sees herself as sort of an exotic creature that men put on their mantelpiece.

[Annina Luck Wildermuth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Allegra Kent is a breath of fresh air and her story moves well, especially at the beginning of the book. Her writing is also pretty extraordinary in parts.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

Allegra Kent is someone I want to have a drink with. She is smart and witty and graceful. While it was hard to watch her make mistake after mistake, she examines her life with honesty and with little regret, and I admire that. Her personality comes alive in this book.

[Willow · Rating 5 out of 5]

"we dance for abstract reasons and for abstract benefits." - page 314

Is there anything a ballerina can't do? Her writing is so good, probably one of the only books I've ever read where I can't predict the next sentence and even have to re-read to confirm parts go together because it's so original and unique. Her take on life is singular. I can't believe I took class from one of her rivals, Suzanne Farelle, when at FSU's summer intensive, I low-key feel famous by association. Also from Peter Martins who she also mentions.

Absolutely unreal to recognize names from a ballerina who was famous from the 1960s-1990s, what an absolute queen. This is a famous Balanchine ballerina and if you don't know who Balanchine is you can Google him lol but he's one of ballet people's favorite choreographers.

What I also love about this book is how feminist it is. Apparently this is one of Balanchine's dancers who defied his bullshit decree that ballerinas shouldn't get married or have kids or have a life outside of ballet. That is very obviously just because he was a perv who wanted to date all of the young, beautiful ballerinas. And yet she was still one of his favorite dancers. This author constantly did what she wants, she even left her husband (queen). She had a deadbeat husband and had a bunch of kids with him and then left him lmfaooooo owned. And she always kept dancing and she distrusted men.

Imagine being a ballerina in the 1960s and having to be a single mom like what. I can't remember if she had kids by that point yet but even in the 70s would be unreal. Her writing style is so good. Love this book DOWN. Warms my cold ballerina heart that she loved dance sm.

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a dancer, I find it helpful to read dancer's accounts of their life and their art. I wish she would have talked more about ballet and less about how she screwed up her life. What a train wreck! Maybe it was because Bert Stern had money and prestige that she married him? Anyone could see that he was a horrible person, but he was very much like her father, so I guess she was attracted to what she was familiar with. So many of her ill-gotten experiences were because she didn't listen to herself but always followed what other people or Christian Science told her to do. I find this incredibly sad. Too much of the book was, "poor me they made me do it." Was it because that is what women did back then? I don't know. I just found it so tragic and infuriating. I kept reading because when she did get it right it was because she was on stage. Ballet was her best decision.

[David Swartzlander · Rating 4 out of 5]

A likable book. I shy away from most memoirs, especially of ballerinas. But Kent has an easy, breezy writing style that’s alluring. She recounts her life, including encounters with George Balanchine, Edward Villella, and Mikhail Baryshnikov, with insight, warmth and humor. This is a well-written account that brought ballet to life for me. I recommend it, even if, like me, you barely know how to waltz.

[PAGE⭐️ · Rating 5 out of 5]

i am just enchanted by allegra kent! i knew very little about her before reading this but fell in love with her immediately. i found many aspects about how she viewed herself relatable and appreciate her vulnerability on how religion and her mothers approval shaped how she conducted her life. her writing style is so lovely, i would highly recommend stepping into her mind!

[Angela Hooper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent narrative of a most interesting life! She is Lucky to have been center stage during the Balanchine era, how it is all told in such a candid, personal way. It is touching how she talks in about her own struggles , how growing up is not so easy and also not necessarily tied to one's cronolgical age. Lovely book!!

[Christopher · Rating 3 out of 5]

An entertaining autobiography by one of the Balanchine Dancers. Very interesting stories of her personal and professional life.

[Madison Riegler · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the book because it was about dance

[Surreysmum · Rating 3 out of 5]

This autobiography kept me consistently interested and entertained. Kent has a penchant for idiosyncratic but still highly readable prose; it's not so much, I think, that she's a true language-lover, but she's obviously very aware of the language surface and can play with alliteration and metaphor till the cows come home, albeit sometimes at the expense of sense. Unfortunately her great heyday with NYCB came before the explosion of ballet in the 70s and home video in the 80s, and thus I think I have relatively little of her work on videotape; however, I look forward to hunting down what I have. Before I picked up the autobiography, I had a vague notion of "power" coupled with her name, and that is borne out by her description of her love for great leaps as a child and as a young dancer. I was saddened by some of the incidents in her personal life that she recounted, and of course fascinated by the personal insights on generations of ballet illuminati in the Balanchine circle. Definitely a keeper.

[Jo Oehrlein · Rating 3 out of 5]

Allegra Kent jointed the NYCB at age 15 and was a member of the company until just after Balanchine’s death. She was a principal within only a few years and danced to rave reviews on the company’s tour of the USSR. She peaked early, though, and rarely danced in later years. Her biography leaves you wondering what might have been if she hadn’t lost months to a botched nose job (trying to look less Jewish), lost a season to a tummy tuck, and spent wasted energy on a failed marriage (they separated at least 3 times). She blames many things on her mother’s wandering ways and her belief in Christian Science and later Psychotherapy. She admits that she didn’t have the early training and technique of other well-known dancers. She is somewhat rare among famous dancers that she took the time in her 20s to have 3 kids.

[Elisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Danced for Ballanchine. He wrote ballets for her. Married to photographer Bert Stein. Three children while a ballerina. Many phobias and overeater when depressed. Didn't save her own money, but gave it to her husband who spent lavishly and was on "Vit B" shots (amphetamines). Domineering mother and Christian Scientist. Very dramatic writing style. Worked incredibly hard taking classes every day and massaging her muscles while in a split. Very intuitive and creative about inner workings of character in a ballet. Enjoyable read.

[Rachel C. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Memoirs of a Balanchine ballerina. A talented dancer but a bit of a mess offstage.

A great dance company needs an incubator to turn raw embryos into the polished material of dance. In the transforming warmth of the School of American Ballet, translucent whites and golden yolks hatched as swans, firebirds, enchanted fauns, and furies, indeed, Faberge eggs - the New York City Ballet Company's foreground and background, the body of the corps, and the soul of the ballerinas.

[Lanae Hollenbeck · Rating 5 out of 5]

FINALLY FINISHED THIS BOOK!!!!!! It was really amazing, and a true story. I recommend this to everybody, it's really a great book and it shows you how appearances may not always be what the truly are. Plus it has alot about George Ballanchine in it as well because Allegra Kent was one of his principle ballerinas for about 40 years, and it gives you lots of insight into the ballet world. AMAZING BOOK.

[Siobhan Burns · Rating 3 out of 5]

I admit, I didn't quite finish this one -- Allegra is such a nut that you can get a little tired of her after a while, esp once she has retired from dancing. But there's tons of brilliantly entertaining stuff in here about Balanchine and the cast of equally nutsy characters in the world of New York City Ballet.

[Meghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Before I read this book, I had only seen/heard interviews with Allegra Kent and always thought she sounded like a bit of a flake. However, this book gave me a new found respect for her. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this book.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Allegra Kent is a treasure. Her writing is clear and quirky and emotional. Each anecdote is filled with her innerworkings and she comes across as a dancer who has made it to the other side of her career without bittnerness or remorse.

[Sue Bridehead (A Pseudonym) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Until recently, I knew nothing about dance, ballet in particular. Kent's constant, almost addictive physicality and her genteel poverty surprised me. This was one of the better memoirs I've read -- a window into a completely different world.

[Kathleen]

She was raised by an unusual mother (they moved on her whim among other things) and she is an unusual but enchanting person. Superb dancer. Well-written and very readable. Another Balanchine dancer.

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great insight into one of the most brilliant ballerina's life. She has a short, precise, almost non-linear way of writing that somehow conveys her life beautifully.

[Renée · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the better written, engaging autobiographies of the famous Balanchine Dancers.

[Aimee · Rating 4 out of 5]

read this one in prep for senior project.

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

A glimpse into the life of ballet dancer, Allegra Kent. Engaging and beautiful. All aspiring dancers should read this book!

[Annaka · Rating 4 out of 5]

The one thing that kept me reading was the desire for something great to happen to her. But there just never was. Slightly disapionting, but still an interesting life.

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Choosing to be a ballet dancer makes for a very hard life. Interesting to read about all the things you need to do to keep your body in shape to do it.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book partially infuriated me but was well-written. Allegra is far too apprehensive!

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was excellent. She makes you understand what she went through as a woman and a dancer.