What do you think?
Rate this book
Anchor and Flares: A Memoir of Motherhood, Hope, and Service
[*Read by the author - Kate Braestrup]
Anchor and Flares: A Memoir of Motherhood, Hope, and Service is the new memoir from Kate Braestrup, author of the bestselling Here If You Need Me
Kate Braestrup's life was transformed by the loss of her husband; now Kate faces the possibility that she may lose her son.
As a young mother Kate Braestrup discovered the fierce protectiveness that accompanies parenthood. In the intervening years -- through mourning her husband and the joy of remarriage and a blended family -- Kate has absorbed the rewards and complications of that spirit.
But when her eldest son joins the Marines, Kate is at a crossroads: can she reconcile her desire to protect her children with her family's legacy of service? Can parents balance the joy of a child's independence with the fear of letting go?
As Kate examines the twinned emotions of faith and fear -- inspired by the families she meets as a chaplain and by her son's journey towards purpose and familyhood -- she learns that the threats we can't predict will rip us apart and knit us together.
Anchor and Flares: A Memoir of Motherhood, Hope, and Service is the new memoir from Kate Braestrup, author of the bestselling Here If You Need Me
Kate Braestrup's life was transformed by the loss of her husband; now Kate faces the possibility that she may lose her son.
As a young mother Kate Braestrup discovered the fierce protectiveness that accompanies parenthood. In the intervening years -- through mourning her husband and the joy of remarriage and a blended family -- Kate has absorbed the rewards and complications of that spirit.
But when her eldest son joins the Marines, Kate is at a crossroads: can she reconcile her desire to protect her children with her family's legacy of service? Can parents balance the joy of a child's independence with the fear of letting go?
As Kate examines the twinned emotions of faith and fear -- inspired by the families she meets as a chaplain and by her son's journey towards purpose and familyhood -- she learns that the threats we can't predict will rip us apart and knit us together.
1 pages, Audio CD
First published July 14, 2015
29 people are currently reading
878 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews
January 2, 2016
Anchor and Flares is fantastic. It was also a good reminder for me of why Kate Braestrup's earlier book Here If You Need Me, is one of my favorites. Although Braestrup's writing falls under the category of memoir, it is always much more. In Anchor and Flares, the pivotal event of her oldest son's decision to join the Marines sets the stage for a wide-ranging and incisive commentary on men and women, parenting, violence, military service and other kinds of service, prayer (she is a Unitarian Universalist chaplain), and a host of other topics. Anticipation of her first grandchild is also a thread that Braestrup weaves through this narrative, complete with letters she writes to her son (the marine) and his wife to pass on what wisdom she has gained from parenting four children--both with her first husband, and as a widow--and two step-children. Braestrup's Unitarian Universalism is more Christian than not, but her writing is very accessible to nonbelievers like me, and her analysis of several Biblical stories and religious ideas were enlightening and insightful. Finally, on top of all the sheer smartness (she's a big history buff too) and good writing, Anchor and Flares passed the "it made me laugh and it made me cry" test, which for me is a reliable indicator of good stuff.
October 26, 2018
THIS WOMAN CAN WRITE! And she has an extraordinary way of weaving disparate thoughts into a coherent whole. I've read enough of her books to wait patiently for it to come together, without thinking "Wait, what does the Biblical Jacob have to do with the Marines and with being the parent of small children?" Well, everything, if you're Kate Braestrup and you think that way.
Trained as a Unitarian Universalist minister, she is now the Chaplain to the Maine Game Warden Service, following in her family's long tradition of service. This book deals with all of that, prompted by her oldest son Zach's determination to join the Marine Corps after high school. The Marine Corps, where people get killed and kill other people. Not what mother wishes for her son... and yet, he wants to serve. Or in his own words, "I want [the Marine Corps] to teach me to work."
There's a lot more in this book — reflections on raising six children (four of her own and two step-children); memories of her first husband, a Maine State Trooper who was killed in the line of duty (incidentally, while he was preparing to be a Unitarian Universalist minister, though she doesn't mention that); narratives of some of the difficult situations she has encountered in her chaplaincy with the game wardens; Biblical exegesis; and so much more.
I've never met Kate Braestrup, though she is a colleague, but if I ever do, I will put my arms around her and whisper in her ear, "Girl, you can WRITE!"
Trained as a Unitarian Universalist minister, she is now the Chaplain to the Maine Game Warden Service, following in her family's long tradition of service. This book deals with all of that, prompted by her oldest son Zach's determination to join the Marine Corps after high school. The Marine Corps, where people get killed and kill other people. Not what mother wishes for her son... and yet, he wants to serve. Or in his own words, "I want [the Marine Corps] to teach me to work."
There's a lot more in this book — reflections on raising six children (four of her own and two step-children); memories of her first husband, a Maine State Trooper who was killed in the line of duty (incidentally, while he was preparing to be a Unitarian Universalist minister, though she doesn't mention that); narratives of some of the difficult situations she has encountered in her chaplaincy with the game wardens; Biblical exegesis; and so much more.
I've never met Kate Braestrup, though she is a colleague, but if I ever do, I will put my arms around her and whisper in her ear, "Girl, you can WRITE!"
December 29, 2021
I have a lot of feelings about this book. Bear with me.
First, I remember why I fell in love with this author when I first read her. She is SO smart. Her words are filled with knowledge that I can only attain by reading her. She has one of the most unique perspectives on life, jobs on this planet, and terrible yet redemptive personal stories of loss and courage and family.
As a Christian, I love her little tidbits of religion, God, Jesus, parables, the Greek language, etc. etc. We don't agree on everything but it is a joy to see parts of what I love sprinkled through the book.
She is funny in a weird way. She is smart funny. She is hysterically funny at times when it is literally just one phrase and I love her even more after just one simple comment. She is incredibly entertaining.
This book taught me a lot about history, and I am not a history buff. She made it accessible and on a level that I could relate to while also mixing it with personal stories that were incredibly touching and emotional.
I cried tiny tears many tears throughout this book. She describes life and family and situations in a moving way that is addicting. I was addicted to this book. I loved it up until the very end when I was sad to close it for the last time.
As a writer, I aspire to be like her. She doesn't overdo it or underdo, she is a perfect writer. PERFECT WRITER.
First, I remember why I fell in love with this author when I first read her. She is SO smart. Her words are filled with knowledge that I can only attain by reading her. She has one of the most unique perspectives on life, jobs on this planet, and terrible yet redemptive personal stories of loss and courage and family.
As a Christian, I love her little tidbits of religion, God, Jesus, parables, the Greek language, etc. etc. We don't agree on everything but it is a joy to see parts of what I love sprinkled through the book.
She is funny in a weird way. She is smart funny. She is hysterically funny at times when it is literally just one phrase and I love her even more after just one simple comment. She is incredibly entertaining.
This book taught me a lot about history, and I am not a history buff. She made it accessible and on a level that I could relate to while also mixing it with personal stories that were incredibly touching and emotional.
I cried tiny tears many tears throughout this book. She describes life and family and situations in a moving way that is addicting. I was addicted to this book. I loved it up until the very end when I was sad to close it for the last time.
As a writer, I aspire to be like her. She doesn't overdo it or underdo, she is a perfect writer. PERFECT WRITER.
September 16, 2018
Kate Braestrup weaves her personal story with some philosophy and history. The reader who is familiar with her other memoirs will know her personal story pretty well. I read her two earlier memoirs. Here she goes deeper, especially into her role as a mother, first as a single mother of 4 (after her first husband dies) and then co-parenting her combined family of six children after her second marriage. Children don't always travel the path that their parents wish for them. Dealing with this conundrum is a large theme here. I enjoy Kate's writing style, even though it is not chronological, and she takes side trips in her narrative. After I had the pleasure of seeing/hearing her this summer, I sought out this, her third memoir. I suspect there is more to come.
January 13, 2016
I guess I'd describe this as wandering meditations on motherhood/service/belief. Braestrup plays fast and loose with transitions and direction, but she's experienced enough as a writer to weave it all together well. Here If You Need Me remains my favourite of her books—I should really reread it—but I was happy to be along for the ride through this one.
Some notes:
● The US Department of Veterans Affairs has a list of 'emblems of belief' available for government headstones.
● After Peter passed his driving test and got his license, he and I made a special visit to the police station. There I explained to a bemused Chief Kevin Haj that Peter would be driving my car on occasion. Because of this, his officers should be given to understand that they had carte blanche to stop and search the vehicle for any reason or none at all.
"Wow. Okay," said the chief, and turned to Peter. "You're mother is the strictest mother in Thomaston," he said.
"It takes a village," I explained grimly.
"She loves me, sir," sighed Peter. (142–143)
● A faraway, unhappy look came into my husband's eye. "When I was in elementary school in upstate New York," he said sadly, "for the first day of kindergarten, first grade, second grade...my mother made me dress like a little Dutch child. In her day, at least, the first day of school was an occasion for lederhosen."
"Lederhosen?"
"Those leather shorts with the suspenders."
"Oh my. Oh honey."
"Yes. Imagine showing up on the first day of second grade wearing Sound of Music lonely goatherd pants? By third grade, I was old enough to refuse."
"And your mother was probably heartbroken."
"Yes, she was," said Simon. "On the other hand, because she had three boys and maybe had hoped for a girl, I was so thoroughly feminized by the age of fifteen that I was thrilled when she gave me a tiger-striped sheet set for Christmas. Oh boy! Home décor! My only disappointment was that she didn't include a nice set of drapes. (158–159)
Some notes:
● The US Department of Veterans Affairs has a list of 'emblems of belief' available for government headstones.
● After Peter passed his driving test and got his license, he and I made a special visit to the police station. There I explained to a bemused Chief Kevin Haj that Peter would be driving my car on occasion. Because of this, his officers should be given to understand that they had carte blanche to stop and search the vehicle for any reason or none at all.
"Wow. Okay," said the chief, and turned to Peter. "You're mother is the strictest mother in Thomaston," he said.
"It takes a village," I explained grimly.
"She loves me, sir," sighed Peter. (142–143)
● A faraway, unhappy look came into my husband's eye. "When I was in elementary school in upstate New York," he said sadly, "for the first day of kindergarten, first grade, second grade...my mother made me dress like a little Dutch child. In her day, at least, the first day of school was an occasion for lederhosen."
"Lederhosen?"
"Those leather shorts with the suspenders."
"Oh my. Oh honey."
"Yes. Imagine showing up on the first day of second grade wearing Sound of Music lonely goatherd pants? By third grade, I was old enough to refuse."
"And your mother was probably heartbroken."
"Yes, she was," said Simon. "On the other hand, because she had three boys and maybe had hoped for a girl, I was so thoroughly feminized by the age of fifteen that I was thrilled when she gave me a tiger-striped sheet set for Christmas. Oh boy! Home décor! My only disappointment was that she didn't include a nice set of drapes. (158–159)
December 30, 2019
Transformative. The most important book I will read all year, and a must for every parent of a service member. This was a deeply moving gift from my best friend to help me through the shock of my son's intention to join the Marine Corps. I am happy to say that Kate Braestrup's wisdom has been a guiding light as I have made my way past the shock, fear, etc. to deep pride in my son's commitment to service. I will have it close to me for strength and reassurance when he heads off to boot camp in July 2019!
2019 update: More resonant with each read. This has become my favorite book to recommend. My son is now a Marine, having completed both boot camp and combat training this fall.
2019 update: More resonant with each read. This has become my favorite book to recommend. My son is now a Marine, having completed both boot camp and combat training this fall.
Read
January 28, 2016I love the wisdom and personal experience Kate Braestrup shares through her writing. In her unique position as a UU chaplain to the Maine Warden Service, she experiences the same wide range of emotions that she experiences in her life as a young widow with children. Her insights are hard-won and her convictions deeply held. Although 'Anchor and Flares' does wander about a bit (perhaps fitting for someone who spends time in the Maine woods), it is worth following Braestrup on her journey.
March 12, 2016
I kept getting irritated with Kate Braestrup's writing style, but she won me over in the last few chapters... Good chaplain theology.
October 27, 2020
I read two of her previous books, Here if you Need me (first), and then Marriage and other acts of charity. Loved those two.
From previous books and in this one, we learned that her first husband, Drew, was a Maine state police officer who was killed in the line of duty in a car accident. She deals with that here relating the affect of his death on her children. Mostly this book relates to her children and their growing up and out into lives of their own. Her first, Zach, wants to join the armed forces. Like most moms, she experiences a lot of anxiety with his decision. She voices what all moms (and dads, too) feel about their children growing up and the choices they make. Her children, for the most part, choose careers in service to others, with one becoming an author and playwright.
She also talks about her marriage to Simon, and being a mother to his two children, as well.
As a chaplain to the Main Warden Services (most states have a forest preserve police. Maine calls them Wardens), she is often called to serve those serving in the services in cases of looking for those lost, and those who are found deceased in the wilderness. Those officers often have emotional needs that arise from their rescue activities. Kate also is there for the families of those who are lost. Stories related here can sometimes be difficult to read.
This book can be a bit skewed to the religious viewpoint, but not really overly so. I found it very thought provoking.
From previous books and in this one, we learned that her first husband, Drew, was a Maine state police officer who was killed in the line of duty in a car accident. She deals with that here relating the affect of his death on her children. Mostly this book relates to her children and their growing up and out into lives of their own. Her first, Zach, wants to join the armed forces. Like most moms, she experiences a lot of anxiety with his decision. She voices what all moms (and dads, too) feel about their children growing up and the choices they make. Her children, for the most part, choose careers in service to others, with one becoming an author and playwright.
She also talks about her marriage to Simon, and being a mother to his two children, as well.
As a chaplain to the Main Warden Services (most states have a forest preserve police. Maine calls them Wardens), she is often called to serve those serving in the services in cases of looking for those lost, and those who are found deceased in the wilderness. Those officers often have emotional needs that arise from their rescue activities. Kate also is there for the families of those who are lost. Stories related here can sometimes be difficult to read.
This book can be a bit skewed to the religious viewpoint, but not really overly so. I found it very thought provoking.
February 28, 2018
Why I chose this book: I listened to Kate Braestrup's first memoir, Here If You Need Me, last year and I enjoyed both her words and hearing her voice read them so I thought I would try another of her memoirs.
I did not love this one quite as much as Here If You Need Me. It may be that as someone who has not entered into the world of parenthood, I cannot fully appreciate some of what Kate Braestrup is putting to words. But, as I have parents of my own, I found myself thinking of them often while I listened.
As in Here If You Need Me, I find Braestrup's quiet, honest kindness to resonate especially in world that is full of self-important clamor.
What resonated most with me, were her thoughts on service. I am sure some of that is a factor of my own moment in life, currently in school working to enter a career of service, but I found some of the ideals that I do not always articulate well, eloquently echoed in this book.
I'm not sure I would offer this up to the parents of small children as Braestrup writes truthfully about the danger of loss--she is, after all, a chaplain for game wardens and often present at the scenes of death or during searches for missing persons including children. But she does have a lovely insight to offer.
I did not love this one quite as much as Here If You Need Me. It may be that as someone who has not entered into the world of parenthood, I cannot fully appreciate some of what Kate Braestrup is putting to words. But, as I have parents of my own, I found myself thinking of them often while I listened.
As in Here If You Need Me, I find Braestrup's quiet, honest kindness to resonate especially in world that is full of self-important clamor.
What resonated most with me, were her thoughts on service. I am sure some of that is a factor of my own moment in life, currently in school working to enter a career of service, but I found some of the ideals that I do not always articulate well, eloquently echoed in this book.
I'm not sure I would offer this up to the parents of small children as Braestrup writes truthfully about the danger of loss--she is, after all, a chaplain for game wardens and often present at the scenes of death or during searches for missing persons including children. But she does have a lovely insight to offer.
October 8, 2019
Kate Braestrup is a good writer whose writing is made even better by how interesting she is as a person. I read her book, Here if You Need Me, five years ago and I still think about it from time to time. I enjoyed this one as well, but it seemed less congruent at times, as though the chapters were pieced together from other sources (which I think they were). It's unique as a parenting memoir in that Braestrup's children and step-children are entering adulthood and a lot of the material grapples with her inner turmoil over her son's decision to join the Marines. She raises important questions around our desires for our children to be safe and happy vs. our deeper, truer desires for them to live lives of purpose and sacrifice. 3.5 stars.
February 22, 2018
I love everything this woman writes, so of course, I loved this one. There was so much here to think about and my underlining pen was busy. Kate Braestrup is not only funny and poignant but such a gifted writer. I savored every story, recognizing a kindred mother spirit and appreciating her honesty. She has such reverence for life in all its messy, wonderful, and occasionally stupid forms. The dignity she gives to people who are in painful, embarrassing, heartbreaking, and unfortunate situations is inspiring and makes me think differently at my own reactions to the people I would be inclined to judge. Such a beautifully written, rich, yet incredibly readible memoir. Sorry it ended.
May 1, 2018
This is the second book by Kate that I have read and found both to be incredibly insightful, vulnerable and fascinating. She somehow weaves memoir-ish reality, religious insights (from various facets of Christianity and not) as well as historical events into a book that makes your wiser and more empathetic to the foibles of mankind. I enjoy the heart-wrenching glimpses into her career as a warden chaplain with her honest yet graceful tellings of messy families and their choices. Kate would be a fascinating person to sit next to at a dinner party. Do yourself a favor and listen to her storytelling on The Moth on NPR. She's a fabulous storyteller in print and in the spoken word.
June 4, 2018
No idea if others would love this as much as I did. I don't remember Braestrup reading her first book (one of my top favorites of all time) Here If You Need Me in such a dry, deadpan way, but I imagine she must have. At times I thought another reader might have served her better but I do love her way of weaving a story. It is a story of vulnerability---her oldest joins the Marines, of how to make sense of a world both brutal and beautiful, and the love and loss it contains.
Listening was the right mode for me right now, but I need to get a physical copy of this too.
Listening was the right mode for me right now, but I need to get a physical copy of this too.
July 10, 2017
This book is a memoir of family, marriage and raising kids. Braestrup also jumps into brief stories of her times as a minister and Game Warden. Sprinkled in between her life story, this book has many stories of history from the bible to Nazi Germany.
Her musings are not organized and difficult to follow at times. Her discussion of religion is the better part of the book. This book could improve dramatically with more structure and chronology.
Her musings are not organized and difficult to follow at times. Her discussion of religion is the better part of the book. This book could improve dramatically with more structure and chronology.
October 22, 2017
Kate Braestrup writes a thoughtful, touching memoir of raising children and then letting them go. As a chaplain to the Maine Warden Service (Dept of Fisheries & wildlife) and the widow of a state trooper, Braestrup understands the complexity, dangers, joys, and sorrows of life and the challenges of raising children to thrive and make the world a better place for all of those who inhabit it.
Lovely, meaningful book.
Lovely, meaningful book.
August 31, 2021
Another beautiful book from Kate Braestrup. I continue to appreciate her style of weaving religious philosophy into her memoir. This book was particularly helpful and moving to me because my daughter has joined the military and Kate discusses a parallel event in her family and how she adjusted.
Easy to read and spiritually supportive for days you might need a spiritual boost.
Easy to read and spiritually supportive for days you might need a spiritual boost.
March 11, 2018
I don’t normally read non-fiction, but I loved this book!
Kate writes about her work, her husband who died and how she came to be a chaplain for the Maine Warden Service. But mostly she writes about her family and how she has changed them and they her.
Kate writes about her work, her husband who died and how she came to be a chaplain for the Maine Warden Service. But mostly she writes about her family and how she has changed them and they her.
May 11, 2017
A lovely mix of contemplation of weighty issues of life, values, loss, courage, and also great humor.
August 17, 2018
Some amusing antidotes but didn't grip me enough
February 10, 2020
Really good, my best from Kate so far. Keep writing please!
April 29, 2020
A beautiful, moving story that drew me in from the first word to the last. I connected with the author and her story, and loved every minute.
January 6, 2021
A little more rambling and scattered than her other books. The best two chapters were the last two. Otherwise this would have been two stars
December 27, 2021
I feel seen by this book.
October 31, 2022
Another great book by Braestrup!
December 12, 2016
This memoir combines anecdotes from Braestrup's many roles in life--as chaplain to the Maine Warden Service, as mother and stepmother to a total of six children, as a child growing up with a father serving in the Marines, as mother to a son who is joining the Marines himself. Anyone who has contemplated the role of service to community, the responsibilities of parenthood, the necessity of allowing your children to make their own decisions, and the heartbreak of life, will find something to relate to in this sensitive, thoughtful book. A Unitarian Universalist minister, Braestrup's spirituality is an inclusive one, and her thoughts on prayer and God will give many readers new insights. Both funny and incredibly wrenching, Braestrup reads her own work as if you are sitting in the living room with her on a pastoral visit.
Get Anchor and Flares: A Memoir of Motherhood, Hope, and Service from the Denver Public Library
- Becker
Get Anchor and Flares: A Memoir of Motherhood, Hope, and Service from the Denver Public Library
- Becker
February 12, 2017
Kate Braestrup's books are terrific! Read this right after "Here If You Need Me." Funny, wise, tender, down-to-earth - something for everyone.
May 11, 2016
Anchors and Flares is more than a memoir of motherhood. Kate Braestrup chats about the death of her first husband, remarriage, her job as a chaplain to the Maine Warden Service, adjusting to her oldest son’s decision to be a Marine and the horrors of Nazi Germany.
Braestrup is a Unitarian Universalist minister. She peppers her writing with stories of Jesus and incidents with the Game Wardens.
Her musings were interesting, and heart felt, but not profound. However, her sharing at the end of the book about her family and prayer greatly enhanced the whole. They made me want to read the book again and pay more attention to her faith.
Braestrup is a Unitarian Universalist minister. She peppers her writing with stories of Jesus and incidents with the Game Wardens.
Her musings were interesting, and heart felt, but not profound. However, her sharing at the end of the book about her family and prayer greatly enhanced the whole. They made me want to read the book again and pay more attention to her faith.
August 17, 2015
I really love Kate's outlook on life. She also has a way with presentation that makes it very relatable to her reader. The stories are an interwoven mix of experience, history, psychology, and introspective thought. With a dash of God but not in an overbearing way. This was one of those "right books at the right time" for me as well since my own son is currently in bootcamp. I think it would be a great read for any parent. Or if you have read Kate's other books, a follow up of what happened next in her own story. I highly recommend.
August 8, 2015
Kate Braestrup is chaplain of the Maine Game Warden Service, a mother of six, and a skillful writer of humorous and inspirational prose. She is best known for her first memoir "Here if you Need Me" in which she relates how she and her young family (4 kids under the age of 10) persevered and became stronger after the sudden death of her first husband.
In this, the third installment, her 4 kids (plus 2 stepchildren) are making their way into the adult world. Her oldest, Zach, chooses to enlist in the Marines, a decision that Kate finds challenging to embrace at first
In this, the third installment, her 4 kids (plus 2 stepchildren) are making their way into the adult world. Her oldest, Zach, chooses to enlist in the Marines, a decision that Kate finds challenging to embrace at first
Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews