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Start Without Me
The author of the critically acclaimed The Book of Jonah explores questions of love and choice, disappointment and hope in the lives of two strangers who meet by chance in this mesmerizing tale that unfolds over one Thanksgiving day
Adam is a former musician and recovering alcoholic who is home for Thanksgiving for the first time in many years. Surrounded by his parents and siblings, nieces and nephews—all who have seen him at his worst—he can’t shake the feeling that no matter how hard he tries, he’ll always be the one who can’t get it right.
Marissa is a flight attendant whose marriage is strained by simmering tensions over race, class and ambition. Heading to her in-laws for their picture-perfect holiday family dinner, her anxiety is intensified by the knowledge she is pregnant from an impulsive one-night-stand.
In an airport restaurant on Thanksgiving morning, Adam and Marissa meet. Over the course of this day fraught with emotion and expectation, these two strangers will form an unlikely bond as they reckon with their family ties, their pasts, and the choices that will determine their way forward.
Joshua Max Feldman focuses his knowing eye on one of the last bastions of classical American idealism, the Thanksgiving family gathering, as he explores our struggles to know—and to be—our best selves. Hilarious and heartrending, Start Without Me is a thoughtful and entertaining page-turner that will leave its indelible mark on your heart.
Adam is a former musician and recovering alcoholic who is home for Thanksgiving for the first time in many years. Surrounded by his parents and siblings, nieces and nephews—all who have seen him at his worst—he can’t shake the feeling that no matter how hard he tries, he’ll always be the one who can’t get it right.
Marissa is a flight attendant whose marriage is strained by simmering tensions over race, class and ambition. Heading to her in-laws for their picture-perfect holiday family dinner, her anxiety is intensified by the knowledge she is pregnant from an impulsive one-night-stand.
In an airport restaurant on Thanksgiving morning, Adam and Marissa meet. Over the course of this day fraught with emotion and expectation, these two strangers will form an unlikely bond as they reckon with their family ties, their pasts, and the choices that will determine their way forward.
Joshua Max Feldman focuses his knowing eye on one of the last bastions of classical American idealism, the Thanksgiving family gathering, as he explores our struggles to know—and to be—our best selves. Hilarious and heartrending, Start Without Me is a thoughtful and entertaining page-turner that will leave its indelible mark on your heart.
276 pages, Hardcover
First published October 17, 2017
About the author
Joshua Max Feldman
9 books40 followersJoshua Max Feldman is a writer of fiction and plays. His first novel, THE BOOK OF JONAH, has been translated into nine languages. His newest book, START WITHOUT ME, will be published in October, 2017 by William Morrow. He currently resides in Brooklyn with his wife and daughter.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 139 reviews
August 25, 2017
I won this in a giveaway! (Thank you, William Morrow)
"Start Without Me" by Joshua Max Feldman is a quick and engaging read that takes places over the course of one (Thanksgiving) day. Feldman did an excellent job of cramming every situation and dilemma that could happen to a person on such a stressful day for Adam, (a recovering alcoholic, ex-musician) and Marissa (a pregnant flight attendant, trapped in a shitty marriage to a man-child). Adam and Marissa are strangers to each other, but they meet by chance in a restaurant at the airport. Just wanted to point out that Adam and Marissa are NOT likeable characters, so keep that in mind if you don't like reading about deeply-flawed characters. Good thing for me, I wasn't bothered by it in the slightest. These characters have A LOT of emotional problems. You can feel their disappointment, resentment, mistakes, regrets, and loneliness on every page. Novels that have perfect, cookie-cutter characters are BORING as hell! I enjoyed reading about two people who FELT and ACTED like human beings. "Start Without Me" is a little firecracker even though there's heavy discussion of mental illness, race, drugs, alcoholism, adultery, and childhood trauma throughout. The dialogue is snappy, witty, honest, and very funny. A great contemporary read. This book will be released October 17th, 2017.
"Start Without Me" by Joshua Max Feldman is a quick and engaging read that takes places over the course of one (Thanksgiving) day. Feldman did an excellent job of cramming every situation and dilemma that could happen to a person on such a stressful day for Adam, (a recovering alcoholic, ex-musician) and Marissa (a pregnant flight attendant, trapped in a shitty marriage to a man-child). Adam and Marissa are strangers to each other, but they meet by chance in a restaurant at the airport. Just wanted to point out that Adam and Marissa are NOT likeable characters, so keep that in mind if you don't like reading about deeply-flawed characters. Good thing for me, I wasn't bothered by it in the slightest. These characters have A LOT of emotional problems. You can feel their disappointment, resentment, mistakes, regrets, and loneliness on every page. Novels that have perfect, cookie-cutter characters are BORING as hell! I enjoyed reading about two people who FELT and ACTED like human beings. "Start Without Me" is a little firecracker even though there's heavy discussion of mental illness, race, drugs, alcoholism, adultery, and childhood trauma throughout. The dialogue is snappy, witty, honest, and very funny. A great contemporary read. This book will be released October 17th, 2017.
August 2, 2019
The premise of this novel has been done before - two strangers find themselves together on Thanksgiving day.
Sometimes, it's easier to confide in strangers, especially if you think you're never going to see them again.
Thirty-five-year-old Adam is nine months sober and fleeing his family's Thanksgiving day celebrations.
Thirty-one-year-old Melissa is a flight attendant dreading going to her inlaws' house to celebrate Thanksgiving day with them.
Both protagonists have a lot of emotional baggage. Who doesn't ...
What will happen on this stressful holiday? Will they find anything to be grateful for?
This was a breezy read, enjoyable enough, but not extraordinarily rivetting.
Sometimes, it's easier to confide in strangers, especially if you think you're never going to see them again.
Thirty-five-year-old Adam is nine months sober and fleeing his family's Thanksgiving day celebrations.
Thirty-one-year-old Melissa is a flight attendant dreading going to her inlaws' house to celebrate Thanksgiving day with them.
Both protagonists have a lot of emotional baggage. Who doesn't ...
What will happen on this stressful holiday? Will they find anything to be grateful for?
This was a breezy read, enjoyable enough, but not extraordinarily rivetting.
August 21, 2017
What would holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas be without family drama? This book covers one Thanksgiving Day in the lives of Adam and Melissa, two strangers who meet on this more-than-stressful-for-them day.
Adam is working in a bank and trying to live a sober life. He had been quite a successful musician but the life on the road and a broken love has led him to alcohol abuse. He hasn’t spent a Thanksgiving with his family in years and although this is the year he really wants to try, he’s not sure he’s strong enough to get through the day without messing things up again.
Melissa is a flight attendant who has married into a rich family that she’s never felt a part of. She and her husband have had some recent difficulties and she knows a holiday with his family will be a stressful one. Plus the secret she’s carrying is a difficult one to deal with.
I had my reservations about this book at first. I didn’t immediately connect with the characters and thought it was just going to be a road-trip book with two unlikeable characters trying to sort out their family issues. And actually that’s what it is. But it’s the mark of a talented author who can take that type of premise and turn it into such an emotional journey for the reader. The author writes with a realism that is completely believable and human. I realized that I didn’t have to like these characters or understand their decisions in life to connect with them. Their humanity touched me. This author knows how to twist his characters around his readers’ hearts.
Recommended.
This book was given to me by the publisher in return for an honest review.
Adam is working in a bank and trying to live a sober life. He had been quite a successful musician but the life on the road and a broken love has led him to alcohol abuse. He hasn’t spent a Thanksgiving with his family in years and although this is the year he really wants to try, he’s not sure he’s strong enough to get through the day without messing things up again.
Melissa is a flight attendant who has married into a rich family that she’s never felt a part of. She and her husband have had some recent difficulties and she knows a holiday with his family will be a stressful one. Plus the secret she’s carrying is a difficult one to deal with.
I had my reservations about this book at first. I didn’t immediately connect with the characters and thought it was just going to be a road-trip book with two unlikeable characters trying to sort out their family issues. And actually that’s what it is. But it’s the mark of a talented author who can take that type of premise and turn it into such an emotional journey for the reader. The author writes with a realism that is completely believable and human. I realized that I didn’t have to like these characters or understand their decisions in life to connect with them. Their humanity touched me. This author knows how to twist his characters around his readers’ hearts.
Recommended.
This book was given to me by the publisher in return for an honest review.
October 23, 2017
Favorite Quotes:
The stillness of the house was deafening somehow—like all the sleeping people were vibrating at a frequency only he could hear: his family, ringing in his ears.
They’d been fighting daily lately, like it was a setting in their relationship they didn’t know how to turn off.
Marissa’s temper had a velocity such that she only knew she’d lost it about the same time everyone else did.
I don’t even recognize you anymore, with this persona you have now, of this like, like, rich soccer mom, this Burberry Nazi or whatever you’re supposed to be.
My Review:
I struggled through this oddly compelling train wreck of a story, yet similar to arriving at the scene of a massive train wreck, morbid curiosity kept me from looking away. Adam and Marrisa were strangers who lived on opposite sides of the United States but met while traveling on Thanksgiving Day; both were in the midst of yet another heinous screw-up. The only thing either one of these characters had seemed to master was the art of poor decisions. These people were toxic, and it was no wonder, their histories had been poison. Yet I couldn’t stop reading. They ultimately ended up joining forces after the request of a ride, which had the effect of kicking an impending strong wind into hurricane category.
The overwhelming majority of the characters mentioned in this story were not likable or admirable people while most were, in fact, self-serving, obnoxious, and reprehensible. Despite their best intentions and hopes, each stop the pair made during their nightmarish Thanksgiving holiday, and each additional family member that was visited was more abhorrent than the last. I kept hoping for a turnaround and had my fingers crossed while watching closely for some redeemable quality to surface, but knew better than to hold my breath – I would have asphyxiated. Yet I couldn’t put my Kindle down, Mr. Feldman’s prickly yet often amusing and emotive storytelling held me in place and kept me invested and intrigued, loathsome characters and all. While reading this unusual and conflicting chronicle, I couldn’t decide whether to despise him or admire his skills, I finished his work feeling a little of one and a considerable amount of the other.
The stillness of the house was deafening somehow—like all the sleeping people were vibrating at a frequency only he could hear: his family, ringing in his ears.
They’d been fighting daily lately, like it was a setting in their relationship they didn’t know how to turn off.
Marissa’s temper had a velocity such that she only knew she’d lost it about the same time everyone else did.
I don’t even recognize you anymore, with this persona you have now, of this like, like, rich soccer mom, this Burberry Nazi or whatever you’re supposed to be.
My Review:
I struggled through this oddly compelling train wreck of a story, yet similar to arriving at the scene of a massive train wreck, morbid curiosity kept me from looking away. Adam and Marrisa were strangers who lived on opposite sides of the United States but met while traveling on Thanksgiving Day; both were in the midst of yet another heinous screw-up. The only thing either one of these characters had seemed to master was the art of poor decisions. These people were toxic, and it was no wonder, their histories had been poison. Yet I couldn’t stop reading. They ultimately ended up joining forces after the request of a ride, which had the effect of kicking an impending strong wind into hurricane category.
The overwhelming majority of the characters mentioned in this story were not likable or admirable people while most were, in fact, self-serving, obnoxious, and reprehensible. Despite their best intentions and hopes, each stop the pair made during their nightmarish Thanksgiving holiday, and each additional family member that was visited was more abhorrent than the last. I kept hoping for a turnaround and had my fingers crossed while watching closely for some redeemable quality to surface, but knew better than to hold my breath – I would have asphyxiated. Yet I couldn’t put my Kindle down, Mr. Feldman’s prickly yet often amusing and emotive storytelling held me in place and kept me invested and intrigued, loathsome characters and all. While reading this unusual and conflicting chronicle, I couldn’t decide whether to despise him or admire his skills, I finished his work feeling a little of one and a considerable amount of the other.
June 4, 2018
A darkly comic novel about two strangers who meet on Thanksgiving morning and end up on an odyssey that neither of them expects, START WITHOUT ME is a smart, pitch-perfect story about how our families are made up of people who know us better than anyone — and yet somehow often don’t know us at all.
August 7, 2017
2.5 stars
Based on the cover art and the description "hilarious and heartrending" in the summary, I guess I expected this to be a lot more jaunty? But in fact, it's really quite grim. I certainly don't think that any of it was "hilarious" (nor did anything seem like it was intended to be?). Heartrending? Probably not the word I would use. I think a better descriptor would simply be "gritty."
Case in point: the author seems to be going for hyper-realism here, and as such there is a lot of foul language and some fairly graphic sex. (Probably not a great pick for your standard book club unless you want to have to explain some sexual terms that you almost certainly don't want to ever have to explain to relative strangers.) I'm not easily offended by language, and sexual content has its place. But I did think that the sex scene between seemed kind of gratuitous both plot-wise and descriptively. Most of all, though, I could really, really, live without descriptions like that in which we're told about someone Like, okay, I get it -- these are real people doing real things. I still don't need the play-by-play of someone going to the bathroom, unless that trip to the toilet is somehow vital to the plot. Do I sound like a total prude now?
Let me say what I do like: I like the concept of two hurting strangers making a connection and helping each other in unexpected ways. I love that Marissa and Adam's story But I had some difficulty in feeling particularly invested in their trials and tribulations, mostly because neither character is incredibly likable. Now, to be fair, I don't think they're intended to be. But as a reader, that does create a kind of distance, in my opinion.
Essentially what you have here is two sad people trying to sort out the messes they've made of their lives, and the details surrounding that are about as "hilarious" as you might expect (that is to say, not really at all, ever). The ending If you go in without any expectation that the tone will be on the lighter side, you might enjoy it more than I did.
Based on the cover art and the description "hilarious and heartrending" in the summary, I guess I expected this to be a lot more jaunty? But in fact, it's really quite grim. I certainly don't think that any of it was "hilarious" (nor did anything seem like it was intended to be?). Heartrending? Probably not the word I would use. I think a better descriptor would simply be "gritty."
Case in point: the author seems to be going for hyper-realism here, and as such there is a lot of foul language and some fairly graphic sex. (Probably not a great pick for your standard book club unless you want to have to explain some sexual terms that you almost certainly don't want to ever have to explain to relative strangers.) I'm not easily offended by language, and sexual content has its place. But I did think that the sex scene between seemed kind of gratuitous both plot-wise and descriptively. Most of all, though, I could really, really, live without descriptions like that in which we're told about someone Like, okay, I get it -- these are real people doing real things. I still don't need the play-by-play of someone going to the bathroom, unless that trip to the toilet is somehow vital to the plot. Do I sound like a total prude now?
Let me say what I do like: I like the concept of two hurting strangers making a connection and helping each other in unexpected ways. I love that Marissa and Adam's story But I had some difficulty in feeling particularly invested in their trials and tribulations, mostly because neither character is incredibly likable. Now, to be fair, I don't think they're intended to be. But as a reader, that does create a kind of distance, in my opinion.
Essentially what you have here is two sad people trying to sort out the messes they've made of their lives, and the details surrounding that are about as "hilarious" as you might expect (that is to say, not really at all, ever). The ending If you go in without any expectation that the tone will be on the lighter side, you might enjoy it more than I did.
July 3, 2017
I was fortunate enough to read an advanced copy of this stunning novel. I loved everything about it-- the characters, their stories, the gorgeous writing, and the effortless way Joshua Max Feldman creates such tension and drama from a seemingly random act of fate: two strangers, both facing a crossroads in life, start a conversation in an airport restaurant on Thanksgiving Day. From that one conversation, and over the course of one day, everything will change. Adam and Marissa pulled me in from the first pages, and I know they will stay with me. The premise and the timeline seem so small, and yet this novel packs an emotional punch. There is darkness and despair but above all else, hope. I read the last page with a huge smile and thought, "Damn. That was an incredible read."
April 12, 2018
2.5 stars
I like the premise, but it was uneven. I almost gave up on it... then I was mesmerized. When I picked it up again, I couldn’t remember why I liked it... then I couldn’t wait to see what choices Adam & Marissa would make.
Ultimately I don’t buy it, that these two particular strangers would find a way to spend Thanksgiving together. We don’t get to see what in Marissa would loosen her up to bring this guy to her in-laws’ when her marriage is in a crisis; and while there are moments of Adam’s charm that shines through, he’s more annoying than anything. So I don’t buy it.
It’s not bad, but I didn’t gain anything from this read.
I like the premise, but it was uneven. I almost gave up on it... then I was mesmerized. When I picked it up again, I couldn’t remember why I liked it... then I couldn’t wait to see what choices Adam & Marissa would make.
Ultimately I don’t buy it, that these two particular strangers would find a way to spend Thanksgiving together. We don’t get to see what in Marissa would loosen her up to bring this guy to her in-laws’ when her marriage is in a crisis; and while there are moments of Adam’s charm that shines through, he’s more annoying than anything. So I don’t buy it.
It’s not bad, but I didn’t gain anything from this read.
November 21, 2018
Thanks to the publisher and TLC Book Tours for the free review copy!
If you want your holiday stories to be sweet and happy and functional, this one isn’t for you. However, if your life has in any way touched by addiction or addiction of a loved one.....or if you’ve ever fought with your family, or been brought up by dysfunctional parents - this book is for you. It’s not an easy read and the characters struggle mightily, but who am I to judge? Nothing annoys me more than people living charmed and privileged lives judging books and characters for their dysfunction. UMMMM, HELLO REAL WORLD. Judge me when you’ve lived my (or the character’s) life thankyouverymuch.
Ultimately, this is a story of hope. Of hitting rock bottom and making the choice to persevere. One more chance. I recommend it to anyone whose life hasn’t been the type with cozy warm holidays by a fire with a functioning family spouting warm and cozy platitudes. We need this type of holiday book too, along with the cozy ones, to remind us that not everyone lives that life. Holidays are insanely hard for so many people.
If you want your holiday stories to be sweet and happy and functional, this one isn’t for you. However, if your life has in any way touched by addiction or addiction of a loved one.....or if you’ve ever fought with your family, or been brought up by dysfunctional parents - this book is for you. It’s not an easy read and the characters struggle mightily, but who am I to judge? Nothing annoys me more than people living charmed and privileged lives judging books and characters for their dysfunction. UMMMM, HELLO REAL WORLD. Judge me when you’ve lived my (or the character’s) life thankyouverymuch.
Ultimately, this is a story of hope. Of hitting rock bottom and making the choice to persevere. One more chance. I recommend it to anyone whose life hasn’t been the type with cozy warm holidays by a fire with a functioning family spouting warm and cozy platitudes. We need this type of holiday book too, along with the cozy ones, to remind us that not everyone lives that life. Holidays are insanely hard for so many people.
November 27, 2018
A dark but surprisingly readable story about two strangers who meet in New England on Thanksgiving and find escape - and strength - from their dysfunctional families together. Here is a link to my review:
https://perfectretort.blogspot.com/20...
https://perfectretort.blogspot.com/20...
May 4, 2019
I rec'd a free copy of this book from Harper Collins as part of The Book Club Girls Book Club.
I can give this book three and a half stars but it so depressed me that three stars is where I landed.
The writing is good and the story moves along nicely considering the story covers only one day.
I read the book in two days. Although I started it and read the first chapter one night- I so disliked the first introduced main character I didn't want to go on. I grudgingly picked it back up a couple of days later and finished. I liked it much better once I re-skimmed the first chapter and concentrated.
I think this story was just a bit too real for me. But I will still tell you it's worth reading.
This is a holiday story about painful families and the pain humans suffer in their own heads and at their own hands. Feldman certainly did a good job with that part. I haven't lead a life with someone I knew well that was an addict, nor have I had a close relationship with someone with mental illness. Yet I am certainly no stranger to the voices in your head that tell you a bunch of stuff that probably has no bearing in the truth. But I think my empathy was strained a few times and I found the character of Adam particularly hard to like.
The book leaves you with hope but it wasn't enough for me. It was just too much sadness, too much heartache, too real.
I can give this book three and a half stars but it so depressed me that three stars is where I landed.
The writing is good and the story moves along nicely considering the story covers only one day.
I read the book in two days. Although I started it and read the first chapter one night- I so disliked the first introduced main character I didn't want to go on. I grudgingly picked it back up a couple of days later and finished. I liked it much better once I re-skimmed the first chapter and concentrated.
I think this story was just a bit too real for me. But I will still tell you it's worth reading.
This is a holiday story about painful families and the pain humans suffer in their own heads and at their own hands. Feldman certainly did a good job with that part. I haven't lead a life with someone I knew well that was an addict, nor have I had a close relationship with someone with mental illness. Yet I am certainly no stranger to the voices in your head that tell you a bunch of stuff that probably has no bearing in the truth. But I think my empathy was strained a few times and I found the character of Adam particularly hard to like.
The book leaves you with hope but it wasn't enough for me. It was just too much sadness, too much heartache, too real.
October 15, 2022
I finally got around to reading this book. I won this years ago from a Goodreads giveaway, and somehow it got lost in the endless bookshelves in this house. It takes place over one Thanksgiving day, and it was an easy and quick read. I enjoyed the story for the most part. It definitely is not a favorite; simply not my favorite genre.
October 17, 2017
Damn if this isn't the worst Thanksgiving ever. This novel had me wincing again and again, out of empathy and judgment, I admit it. Overall, I enjoyed the narrative, even as I wondered what the hell was going to happen that could possibly be worse. I want to believe that two strangers could meet under odd circumstances and end one day together feeling as if they truly knew each other. The two protagonists here had some pretty rough hands dealt to them, and neither made the best choices in how they dealt with the crap doled out, but by the end of the book, there are some small rays of hope that both will see better days ahead.
November 19, 2022
Adam Warshaw is an ex-keyboardist and recovering alcoholic who is muddling along at his job at a bank. Marissa Cavano is a flight attendant who fled an alcoholic mother, married into a wealthy—albeit classist and racist—family, and is currently struggling to save her marriage. Both are heading home for Thanksgiving and their paths are about to intersect in what would be the start of a highly unpredictable and tumultuous day that would send each of their lives in unexpected directions.
They say you can’t judge a book by its cover. Well, you can’t judge it by its BACK cover either. Joshua Max Feldman’s Start Without Me is described as A darkly comic novel. Nope. …the quintessential Thanksgiving novel. Let’s hope not. …a unique solidarity between two strangers as they help each other… More like one constantly saves the other one’s bacon. …Feldman’s novel excels in his crafting of extraordinary dialogue. OK. Nailed that one.
This was an extremely difficult book to get through as Adam’s character is insufferable, unrepentant, oblivious, ungracious, selfish, self-absorbed… The list is long and would take me until Thanksgiving to get through them all. I think the difference between Adam and some other awful main characters that have completely destroyed a book for me (I’m looking at you Kathy Nicolo) is that Adam KNOWS he’s a dumpster fire, the author knows he’s a dumpster fire, and everyone around Adam knows…well, you get the idea.
A friend once told me of a co-worker who said that she HATED a certain restaurant (both shall remain nameless) because she got food poisoning there four times. Four. Times. So, at that point, do you blame the restaurant or do you blame the patron? Who’s the knucklehead? The same with this book. Is it Feldman’s fault that I was totally frustrated by his book or is it mine? I mean, just like the knucklehead co-worker, I kept going back expecting a different outcome only to be confronted with the same mess over and over again. Was I thinking that if I JUST ordered the dessert, I’d be safe?!
The good news is that there are a few bright spots. Feldman really is a master at writing dialogue. It was one of the few things that saved this story and if he had done more of this and less of Adam waxing poetic about his past days in his rock band, I could’ve saved myself a lot of time from having to pet the neighbor’s dog in order to get back into my happy place. The only other glimmer was Marissa, whose backstory is an absolute trainwreck. She is the only character worthy of our sympathy and the only true adult in the room. She extends Adam more grace than he deserves and although she’s been the victim of many bad choices, she’s determined to learn from them and move forward stronger and wiser.
Before this book, Feldman wrote The Book of Jonah. After all of the negative emotions still coursing through my veins after dealing with Adam, it might take me some time before I’m strong enough to tackle this book. In the meantime, you better start without me.
They say you can’t judge a book by its cover. Well, you can’t judge it by its BACK cover either. Joshua Max Feldman’s Start Without Me is described as A darkly comic novel. Nope. …the quintessential Thanksgiving novel. Let’s hope not. …a unique solidarity between two strangers as they help each other… More like one constantly saves the other one’s bacon. …Feldman’s novel excels in his crafting of extraordinary dialogue. OK. Nailed that one.
This was an extremely difficult book to get through as Adam’s character is insufferable, unrepentant, oblivious, ungracious, selfish, self-absorbed… The list is long and would take me until Thanksgiving to get through them all. I think the difference between Adam and some other awful main characters that have completely destroyed a book for me (I’m looking at you Kathy Nicolo) is that Adam KNOWS he’s a dumpster fire, the author knows he’s a dumpster fire, and everyone around Adam knows…well, you get the idea.
A friend once told me of a co-worker who said that she HATED a certain restaurant (both shall remain nameless) because she got food poisoning there four times. Four. Times. So, at that point, do you blame the restaurant or do you blame the patron? Who’s the knucklehead? The same with this book. Is it Feldman’s fault that I was totally frustrated by his book or is it mine? I mean, just like the knucklehead co-worker, I kept going back expecting a different outcome only to be confronted with the same mess over and over again. Was I thinking that if I JUST ordered the dessert, I’d be safe?!
The good news is that there are a few bright spots. Feldman really is a master at writing dialogue. It was one of the few things that saved this story and if he had done more of this and less of Adam waxing poetic about his past days in his rock band, I could’ve saved myself a lot of time from having to pet the neighbor’s dog in order to get back into my happy place. The only other glimmer was Marissa, whose backstory is an absolute trainwreck. She is the only character worthy of our sympathy and the only true adult in the room. She extends Adam more grace than he deserves and although she’s been the victim of many bad choices, she’s determined to learn from them and move forward stronger and wiser.
Before this book, Feldman wrote The Book of Jonah. After all of the negative emotions still coursing through my veins after dealing with Adam, it might take me some time before I’m strong enough to tackle this book. In the meantime, you better start without me.
May 19, 2019
It's hard to succinctly say what I feel about this story. I liked it, but didn't love it. The author is great at developing characters that you care about, or like, or dislike. The ending left me and my book club feeling unsatisfied, though. Too many questions are left unanswered. After I finished the book, I read an interview with the author where he says that he put everything he has to say about the characters into the book. So perhaps the point of the book isn't so much the story as it is the characters themselves. The challenges they face, the mistakes they make, the complicated and messy feelings about family they have are all well developed and thought provoking here. It is a story that enabled our book club to have a great discussion about family, addiction, complicated relationships, and more.
I received this book from Harper Collins as part of their Book Club Girl book club in 2018.
I received this book from Harper Collins as part of their Book Club Girl book club in 2018.
December 25, 2017
She is a stewardess trying to get to her in-laws for Thanksgiving dinner. He is the dysfunctional member of his Norman Rockwell family.
There meeting is a crash cross.
I can say at first I was a little hesitant with the direction the book was going but was
Pleasantly surprised.
If the holidays have you down and you want a feel good pick me up this will be one to consider. I laughed at parts of the book and sniffles at parts I could relate too.
There meeting is a crash cross.
I can say at first I was a little hesitant with the direction the book was going but was
Pleasantly surprised.
If the holidays have you down and you want a feel good pick me up this will be one to consider. I laughed at parts of the book and sniffles at parts I could relate too.
May 8, 2019
Not bad, good pacing.
October 29, 2017
We have a lot of balls in the air with this book- we have Adam, not even a year into sobriety from alcoholism, who is rebuilding his life (kind of) after the end of his relationship with Johanna and break up of the band he was in. He's a mess. He kind of reminds me of James Frey in A Million Little Pieces, he has the potential to be a lot of things but it's himself that prevents it. He has a good family who are all fully over his crap and he's almost angry about it, like they should want to deal with more of his crap. Or maybe he doesn't fully understand what his alcoholism did to everyone, he admittedly didn't want to listen to their letters at intervention so agreed to rehab... so he's kind of a jerk but I have a feeling he'd end up being a really great future husband and dad. Which seems odd to say, right?
Then we have Marissa, who is still married to her husband though they are having some serious relationship issues. She's a flight attendant and on her travels she runs into her high school boyfriend, they have sex, and uh-oh- she's pregnant! She hasn't told her husband and doesn't really want to face his family on Thanksgiving so she's stalling.
Adam and Marissa meet, it really is almost like fate because of how they keep coming together but you're rooting for them to salvage the holiday. Adam gets to meet Marissa's inlaws, Marissa reconnects with her mother (who is also a drunk and not a great mom, lets be honest), and Adam somehow ends up with his family. It's a really FULL DAY. We find out the deal with Marissa's inlaws, what happened to Johanna, and everyone connects with their family.
I finished this book rather quickly and overall, I liked it. I'm giving it 3/5 stars only because there were a few loose ends with me. I know nobody is going to solve all the problems in a day but Marissa's story line feels really not finished. I really want to know what Marissa does, what happens with the baby, does she and Adam keep in touch, all kinds of things. It took me a few days to think about it and I get that that was the point- leave us hanging a bit, but damn if I'm not one of those people who like everything neat and tidy at the end of a story. I don't do well not knowing. My imagination isn't satisfying enough, I suppose. It was a pretty good book though and if you find yourself traveling for Thanksgiving, stick this in your bag. You'll likely need it.
Then we have Marissa, who is still married to her husband though they are having some serious relationship issues. She's a flight attendant and on her travels she runs into her high school boyfriend, they have sex, and uh-oh- she's pregnant! She hasn't told her husband and doesn't really want to face his family on Thanksgiving so she's stalling.
Adam and Marissa meet, it really is almost like fate because of how they keep coming together but you're rooting for them to salvage the holiday. Adam gets to meet Marissa's inlaws, Marissa reconnects with her mother (who is also a drunk and not a great mom, lets be honest), and Adam somehow ends up with his family. It's a really FULL DAY. We find out the deal with Marissa's inlaws, what happened to Johanna, and everyone connects with their family.
I finished this book rather quickly and overall, I liked it. I'm giving it 3/5 stars only because there were a few loose ends with me. I know nobody is going to solve all the problems in a day but Marissa's story line feels really not finished. I really want to know what Marissa does, what happens with the baby, does she and Adam keep in touch, all kinds of things. It took me a few days to think about it and I get that that was the point- leave us hanging a bit, but damn if I'm not one of those people who like everything neat and tidy at the end of a story. I don't do well not knowing. My imagination isn't satisfying enough, I suppose. It was a pretty good book though and if you find yourself traveling for Thanksgiving, stick this in your bag. You'll likely need it.
October 10, 2017
Original Source: https://novelvisits.com/mini-reviews-...
My Thoughts: Start Without Me opens with 35-year old Adam waking up in his childhood bed, staring down a nephew he barely knows, and feeling very out of place in his parents’ home. Adam has been a semi-successful musician most of his life, but he’s also been an alcoholic much of that time. He knows he’s caused his family a lot of pain and facing their judgement is really more than he can bear and quickly he flees. Marissa, 31 and a flight attendant on a short layover, is facing the prospect of a day with her in-laws who have never quite accepted her, and her husband who she’s been keeping secrets from. These two strangers meet in a hotel coffee shop, and manage to wind up in the same car, traveling to face the day with their respective families.
While the premise of Start Without Me may sound light, it’s actually quite a serious book fraught with shame and abuse, secrets and lies, love, and of course, drama. The first half of the book did have a lighter feeling to it, with certain parts almost having a bit of a “slapstick” quality to them. That was enough to keep me invested until the book really took off in the second half. Only then did I really get to know Adam and Marissa the lives that brought them to this Thanksgiving Day. Adam’s journey as a musician was everything you might expect, until it suddenly wasn’t. In Adam, I found a very flawed character who I couldn’t help rooting for. Marissa, a child of poverty and an alcoholic mother, had picked herself up and made a better life, but that wasn’t all roses. Feldman used the unlikely, short-term friendship of Adam and Marissa to show them both at their best and their worst.
“She could hear the breath coming in and out of her nose, like she’d transformed into a snorting bull; the fearful way he leaned back made her aware of her hands, balled in fists at her sides. A cascade of foul-mouthed loathing, encompassing every one of this fuckups and outrages over the entire day, was right on the tip of her tongue – and she wanted as badly to let it loose as she’d previously wanted to go to sleep.”
For me Feldman’s writing was the star of Start Without Me. Alternately emotional and snarky, his writing kept me going through the slower first half. I don’t think this will be the book for everyone, but I do think those willing to give Start Without Me a little time will thoroughly enjoy the ups and downs of this early holiday story.
My Thoughts: Start Without Me opens with 35-year old Adam waking up in his childhood bed, staring down a nephew he barely knows, and feeling very out of place in his parents’ home. Adam has been a semi-successful musician most of his life, but he’s also been an alcoholic much of that time. He knows he’s caused his family a lot of pain and facing their judgement is really more than he can bear and quickly he flees. Marissa, 31 and a flight attendant on a short layover, is facing the prospect of a day with her in-laws who have never quite accepted her, and her husband who she’s been keeping secrets from. These two strangers meet in a hotel coffee shop, and manage to wind up in the same car, traveling to face the day with their respective families.
While the premise of Start Without Me may sound light, it’s actually quite a serious book fraught with shame and abuse, secrets and lies, love, and of course, drama. The first half of the book did have a lighter feeling to it, with certain parts almost having a bit of a “slapstick” quality to them. That was enough to keep me invested until the book really took off in the second half. Only then did I really get to know Adam and Marissa the lives that brought them to this Thanksgiving Day. Adam’s journey as a musician was everything you might expect, until it suddenly wasn’t. In Adam, I found a very flawed character who I couldn’t help rooting for. Marissa, a child of poverty and an alcoholic mother, had picked herself up and made a better life, but that wasn’t all roses. Feldman used the unlikely, short-term friendship of Adam and Marissa to show them both at their best and their worst.
“She could hear the breath coming in and out of her nose, like she’d transformed into a snorting bull; the fearful way he leaned back made her aware of her hands, balled in fists at her sides. A cascade of foul-mouthed loathing, encompassing every one of this fuckups and outrages over the entire day, was right on the tip of her tongue – and she wanted as badly to let it loose as she’d previously wanted to go to sleep.”
For me Feldman’s writing was the star of Start Without Me. Alternately emotional and snarky, his writing kept me going through the slower first half. I don’t think this will be the book for everyone, but I do think those willing to give Start Without Me a little time will thoroughly enjoy the ups and downs of this early holiday story.
November 1, 2017
A quick and engrossing read that throws together two sympathetic thirty somethings that need a change in life. Both running from families they can’t deal with, they find support in each other. The writing is fresh and the story moves fast, resulting in making this a one day read. I really enjoyed the characters because of, not in spite of, their flaws.
November 2, 2017
Amazing. In the vein of the movie "Home for the Holidays" except even more dysfunctional and interesting. I loved it.
October 16, 2017
I won this in a goodreads giveaway! Thank you William Morrow/ Harper Collins
Nicely paced quick read that takes place over one day - Thanksgiving! Two strangers help each other though their individual family dramas. Nothing romantic here, so if you are looking for that, look elseware. No high jinks drama craziness, just the usual sort of personality and history conflicts that you can only have with family. Even though the novel only covers one day, it comes to a satisfying conclusion and made me wish for a epilogue 1 year later to the next Thanksgiving.
Nicely paced quick read that takes place over one day - Thanksgiving! Two strangers help each other though their individual family dramas. Nothing romantic here, so if you are looking for that, look elseware. No high jinks drama craziness, just the usual sort of personality and history conflicts that you can only have with family. Even though the novel only covers one day, it comes to a satisfying conclusion and made me wish for a epilogue 1 year later to the next Thanksgiving.
October 16, 2017
I received a copy of this book through Goodreads’ First Reads program. To quote Tolstoy, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” This book was certainly a meditation on the unhappy end of the spectrum, during one Thanksgiving day. Marissa and Adam’s chance meeting in an airport restaurant leads the reader to exploring a series of unfortunate holiday events among both of their families. It’s not your typical, shiny holiday story, with a redemptive happy ending.
September 13, 2017
Adam is nine months sober and still fighting for every day of it. He's attempting his first family event in a long time, and it doesn't go well. Flight attendant Marissa is the daughter of an alcoholic, and struggling with her own life choices, both good and bad. She's attempting her husband's family gathering for Thanksgiving, and it doesn't go well either. And there you have pretty much the entire story. I found the characters to be lightly drawn on the page, and neither drew me in much at all. I found the conflicts to be contrived and over-dramatic, and couldn't really bring myself to care how they got resolved, or what choices the characters made. The book does zip along, and isn't poorly written, but it does lack that je ne sais quoi that engages me as a reader.
November 19, 2018
Big issues are explored using families and holidays to see how things can be bigger than just one person.
When Adam decides to go home for Thanksgiving after years of avoiding his family for his music and drinking, he knows he shouldn’t expect much. They have all seen him at his worst and he feels that no matter how hard he tries, he won’t be able to get anything right. Marissa is dealing with troubles in her marriage and being a flight attendant always away from home doesn’t make things any easier. After she runs into Adam in an airport restaurant on Thanksgiving morning, the two end up forming an unlikely bond dealing with their past, families, and what will happen as they go forward.
Holidays can be hard dealing with family and all the drama that comes with the stress of seeing those that are supposedly on your side. Joshua Max Feldman shows this with the interesting dynamic between Adam and his family mixed with Marissa and her family. Circumstances beyond their control bring them together. This is not your typical feel good holiday story; there is much more downheartedness to the characters than upbeat and positive. I found both Adam and Marissa very depressing. They were both going through a lot and some of their attitudes and actions made sense; however, some of it though just made me want to smack them and tell them to get a grip and move on with their lives. I will say that the book was a good length and kept to a good pace making it easy for the reader to turn the pages quickly and see what the outcome might be. I would recommend this for a very mature audience as the language can be very mature and the sexual aspect as well.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. The views and opinions expressed within are my own.
When Adam decides to go home for Thanksgiving after years of avoiding his family for his music and drinking, he knows he shouldn’t expect much. They have all seen him at his worst and he feels that no matter how hard he tries, he won’t be able to get anything right. Marissa is dealing with troubles in her marriage and being a flight attendant always away from home doesn’t make things any easier. After she runs into Adam in an airport restaurant on Thanksgiving morning, the two end up forming an unlikely bond dealing with their past, families, and what will happen as they go forward.
Holidays can be hard dealing with family and all the drama that comes with the stress of seeing those that are supposedly on your side. Joshua Max Feldman shows this with the interesting dynamic between Adam and his family mixed with Marissa and her family. Circumstances beyond their control bring them together. This is not your typical feel good holiday story; there is much more downheartedness to the characters than upbeat and positive. I found both Adam and Marissa very depressing. They were both going through a lot and some of their attitudes and actions made sense; however, some of it though just made me want to smack them and tell them to get a grip and move on with their lives. I will say that the book was a good length and kept to a good pace making it easy for the reader to turn the pages quickly and see what the outcome might be. I would recommend this for a very mature audience as the language can be very mature and the sexual aspect as well.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. The views and opinions expressed within are my own.
December 3, 2018
Thank you to TLC Book Tours and William Morrow paperbacks for my free review copy. All opinions expressed below are my own.
Synopsis:
Introducing Adam and Marissa. The two meet getting coffee early on Thanksgiving morning. Adam is a recovering alcoholic who is avoiding his family for the holidays. Marissa is just coming off of an overnight-er as a flight attendant and is dreading seeing her in-laws for the holidays. This unlikely pair unite for the day to share a ride, but end up supporting each other more than either would expect.
Review:
Start Without Me is not your typical holiday read. First, it takes place at Thanksgiving - a concept I found pretty unique. This book is honest, gritty, and a bit uncomfortable. Do not come here for your happy ending (well...maybe...) and do not expect your stereotypical Christmas miracles and uplifting family dynamics. This book is REAL, folks.
I actually found both Marissa and Adam to be pretty likable characters who happen to do some pretty unlikable things. They weren't perfectly written and sweet characters with no backstory - these were characters who were developed, had problems, and didn't know how to solve them.
Overall, you need to be okay that (like life) not everything will be quickly solved in this one. Alcoholism is a life-long battle and Adam illustrates this very well. If you have ever had to try to spend the holidays with a recovering alcoholic, then his character will ring very true to you (as he did for me).
I am currently loving more escapist reads - and this one was a bit too real for me. While I didn't love this book, I admire how it was written and liked how the very serious subject matter was broached. I definitely recommend reading it around Thanksgiving/Christmas and think it would be a great fit for those feeling a bit bah-humbug or wanting a bit more of a real depiction of the family unit.
Synopsis:
Introducing Adam and Marissa. The two meet getting coffee early on Thanksgiving morning. Adam is a recovering alcoholic who is avoiding his family for the holidays. Marissa is just coming off of an overnight-er as a flight attendant and is dreading seeing her in-laws for the holidays. This unlikely pair unite for the day to share a ride, but end up supporting each other more than either would expect.
Review:
Start Without Me is not your typical holiday read. First, it takes place at Thanksgiving - a concept I found pretty unique. This book is honest, gritty, and a bit uncomfortable. Do not come here for your happy ending (well...maybe...) and do not expect your stereotypical Christmas miracles and uplifting family dynamics. This book is REAL, folks.
I actually found both Marissa and Adam to be pretty likable characters who happen to do some pretty unlikable things. They weren't perfectly written and sweet characters with no backstory - these were characters who were developed, had problems, and didn't know how to solve them.
Overall, you need to be okay that (like life) not everything will be quickly solved in this one. Alcoholism is a life-long battle and Adam illustrates this very well. If you have ever had to try to spend the holidays with a recovering alcoholic, then his character will ring very true to you (as he did for me).
I am currently loving more escapist reads - and this one was a bit too real for me. While I didn't love this book, I admire how it was written and liked how the very serious subject matter was broached. I definitely recommend reading it around Thanksgiving/Christmas and think it would be a great fit for those feeling a bit bah-humbug or wanting a bit more of a real depiction of the family unit.
February 19, 2018
The Short of It:
What happens when a recovering alcoholic returns home for Thanksgiving, only to abandon his family because he just can’t imagine being with them?
The Rest of It:
Adam is home for Thanksgiving and overwhelmed by his family. He’s a recovering alcoholic and being home is just too much for him to deal with.
Marissa is a flight attendant and pregnant with another man’s baby. Her husband, who senses that their relationship is strained, has no idea what he’s in for when she shows up for the Thanksgiving meal.
Marissa and Adam are strangers but when they meet at a restaurant, they lean on one another for support as they figure out this next step in their lives.
I love stories centered around the Thanksgiving meal. There is always so much tension to these gatherings, relatives you haven’t seen in forever, cousins that drive you absolutely mad, mothers who over-fuss about everything. DRAMA. Start Without Me is full of drama but not really AT the dinner table. It takes place all over as Adam abandons his family to take a breather from reality.
It took some time for me to get into this story but by the final pages, I was pretty into it and wanted to see how things would turn out for Marissa and Adam. The cover sort of makes it look like it could be a funny story but it’s not really funny. It’s not depressing but definitely not funny so I just wanted to put that out there.
Have you read this author before?
For more reviews, visit my blog: Book Chatter.
What happens when a recovering alcoholic returns home for Thanksgiving, only to abandon his family because he just can’t imagine being with them?
The Rest of It:
Adam is home for Thanksgiving and overwhelmed by his family. He’s a recovering alcoholic and being home is just too much for him to deal with.
Marissa is a flight attendant and pregnant with another man’s baby. Her husband, who senses that their relationship is strained, has no idea what he’s in for when she shows up for the Thanksgiving meal.
Marissa and Adam are strangers but when they meet at a restaurant, they lean on one another for support as they figure out this next step in their lives.
I love stories centered around the Thanksgiving meal. There is always so much tension to these gatherings, relatives you haven’t seen in forever, cousins that drive you absolutely mad, mothers who over-fuss about everything. DRAMA. Start Without Me is full of drama but not really AT the dinner table. It takes place all over as Adam abandons his family to take a breather from reality.
It took some time for me to get into this story but by the final pages, I was pretty into it and wanted to see how things would turn out for Marissa and Adam. The cover sort of makes it look like it could be a funny story but it’s not really funny. It’s not depressing but definitely not funny so I just wanted to put that out there.
Have you read this author before?
For more reviews, visit my blog: Book Chatter.
October 5, 2017
I received Start Without Me as part of a Goodreads giveaway.
Adam Warshaw is a formerly successful musician and recovering alcoholic attending his family's Thanksgiving following rehab and a prolonged estrangement. When the holiday morning begins inauspiciously, he flees, intending to fly home to San Francisco and lick his wounds. At the airport, he meets Marissa, a flight attendant in a troubled marriage, pregnant following a one-night stand, who is attempting to make her in-laws' picturesque but uncomfortable dinner. The two make a connection and impulsively set off on a trip to return Adam to his parents' house and Marissa to her own obligation. Over the course of the day, however, the two learn more about each other and together experience the pain and disappointment that comes from family life and expectations.
This was a lovely, engaging narrative. There was ever any huge question of where it was going, but it's emotionally affecting without being overly heavy, and deals with comedic moments with a nice touch. The characters are fantastically drawn, and Feldman really has a gift for immersing the reader in a scene. I also appreciate that he didn't veer too heavy into cliche and stick Adam and Marissa together--the ending was a perfect combination of happy and bittersweet. Very well done--looking forward to reading more from Feldman in the future.
Adam Warshaw is a formerly successful musician and recovering alcoholic attending his family's Thanksgiving following rehab and a prolonged estrangement. When the holiday morning begins inauspiciously, he flees, intending to fly home to San Francisco and lick his wounds. At the airport, he meets Marissa, a flight attendant in a troubled marriage, pregnant following a one-night stand, who is attempting to make her in-laws' picturesque but uncomfortable dinner. The two make a connection and impulsively set off on a trip to return Adam to his parents' house and Marissa to her own obligation. Over the course of the day, however, the two learn more about each other and together experience the pain and disappointment that comes from family life and expectations.
This was a lovely, engaging narrative. There was ever any huge question of where it was going, but it's emotionally affecting without being overly heavy, and deals with comedic moments with a nice touch. The characters are fantastically drawn, and Feldman really has a gift for immersing the reader in a scene. I also appreciate that he didn't veer too heavy into cliche and stick Adam and Marissa together--the ending was a perfect combination of happy and bittersweet. Very well done--looking forward to reading more from Feldman in the future.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 17, 2017
Start Without Me by Joshua Max Feldman follows two main characters: Marissa, a flight attendant who is pregnant from a one night stand - a pregnancy she intends to keep secret from her husband lest their already strained marriage become moreso.
Then there is Adam, a former musician-slash-recovering alcholic-slash-epic screw up, home for the holidays for the first time in years (he can't even rememember his nephew's name).
The book takes place all on Thanksgiving day. Adam and Marissa meet each other at a hotel restaurant and spend the day helping one another get through the holiday, forming an unlikely friendship, and learning more and more about each other as time goes by.
Start Without Me is mellow, yet honest, pasts unfolding in a riveting, unputdownable, yet calm way, leaving a jolt only partway to the end when a truth about Adam's past is revealed.
Peppered with crass language, it isn't for the prude, but for those who like a good book that is geniune and realistic.
After reading Start Without Me, I'd pick up anything by Feldman.
Then there is Adam, a former musician-slash-recovering alcholic-slash-epic screw up, home for the holidays for the first time in years (he can't even rememember his nephew's name).
The book takes place all on Thanksgiving day. Adam and Marissa meet each other at a hotel restaurant and spend the day helping one another get through the holiday, forming an unlikely friendship, and learning more and more about each other as time goes by.
Start Without Me is mellow, yet honest, pasts unfolding in a riveting, unputdownable, yet calm way, leaving a jolt only partway to the end when a truth about Adam's past is revealed.
Peppered with crass language, it isn't for the prude, but for those who like a good book that is geniune and realistic.
After reading Start Without Me, I'd pick up anything by Feldman.
July 3, 2020
This is one of those long day in hell narratives. Just when you think it can't get any worse, it does. It is also, for some part anyway, a road narrative. Two opposites meet and hitch their wagon together, and face the adventures of the day. Adam, a recovering alcoholic muso meets Marissa a white-trash-done-good, newly pregnant flight attendant in an airport hotel. Both parties share a flight in a borrowed car, have sex (not with each other), eat a excruciating Thanksgiving dinner and confront their own parental demons. It doesn't have a neat, happy ending, thank goodness. Despite having some elements that could be called cliched, I enjoyed this narrative. The characters were flawed in believable ways, the action is believable and characters grow without a saccharine sentimental 'lesson'. I particularly enjoyed the portrait of Marissa's malicious and unrepentant mother and her current compadre, Special K.
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