I don't know how I finished this. Or why. But I pushed through because it was the final book and lemme tell you something.
It was fucking terrible.
And this review is gonna be a very very long review on just how terrible this book is.
First, I agree with the other comment-- this book is pretty much about a mentally disturbed relative and has barely any romance. Oh, and it has some random twists shoved in here and there that no one cares about because NO ONE KNOWS WHATS GOING ON. The plot is so damn convoluted.
SPOILERS AHEAD:
Frank comes back! Dude ran away because he was afraid him and his brother would kill the dad…um, from what the author details about their family life, however, it wasn’t that bad to warrant that sort of reaction? Both Ernest and Frank talk about how much they hate the dad and how cruel he was but we never really get any of that at all so it's hard to sympathise or even feel like he was responsible for how they turned out to be...so pathetic.
And I understand why they didn’t take any of the sisters but they could have written letters or SOMETHING to keep in contact with them and let them know they were okay, but the whole thing just seemed to be an excuse for them to want to run away because...they just wanted to. Frank was annoying in the sense that he kept going on and on about how he’s not a good guy and he doesn’t want to be a good guy—like okay, we got it the first time, you’re not going to take the house from under them, shut up now. It was just repetitive.
And then the whole Kent thing, a character never ever brought up until toward the end of the book for the 'major twist' which was unbearably predictable. Apparently no one recognised that Kent was actually Frank because he put a little powder in his hair...GASP, he's now a changed man! Like come on, how is that believable? He didn't wear a wig or a fake beard and the shape of his face isn't changed with any sort of 'makeup'. Oh, and the 'lights were dim' but Ernest would have recognised him because they were sitting right opposite each other! If I were to give them the benefit of the doubt, okay, I would but then Frank was there earlier in the card room and Hugo DEFINITELY saw him in the light and outside and not once did it ever occur to him that it was Frank? Because hello, he saw him that very first time!
Henry is a pathetic simp. Bro will do anything for Sara and it’s cringe. He literally had sex with her when his WIFE WAS ILL AND ON THE VERGE OF DYING. He dives into marriage like it’s a competition or something, like dude, chill. He then offers marriage to her--now a prostitute and running a brothel--in return for his silence. And DON’T even get me started on Sara and Tilly, oh my fucking god. They're both prostitutes who keep trying to justify it every time they pop up in the story. Sara tries to justify every morally wrong thing she does because she claims her life as a lady used to be so difficult, because it (wait for it) had order. She hated her kids because she didn't have freedom, and we're supposed to feel sympathy for her. It’s like the author wants us to like her, but…why? What has she done that was likeable or pitiable? She was selfish, even her ‘explanation’ was so selfish, I didn’t care.
The topics addressed in this book were wildly inappropriate for a simple regency ROMANCE (ahem). I like the customs and so I want to read about them, not be told that it isn't freeing for women. Which brings me to my next point: Some of the things Sara said and did just didn’t fit well with the women of the time. This book had, at various times, made me wonder if the author's whole agenda was to push a toxic political message about feminism and how bad men are down my throat. Sara and Tilly were 21st century toxic feminists playing dress up. I feel like they ALL were. It didn't seem like I was reading a HR but a contemporary family drama with characters in cosplay. Even for a character that may very well have been real, there’s a way you can make it realistic for the times, not by modernising them. She, at one point, justifies young girls being sex slaves and then repeatedly goes on to say, ‘I don’t need a man’. Okay, but you need a man in order to sleep with you in your brothel so actually, yes, you do need a man? Very modern thinking lol. I’m supposed to pity the woman who had a secret affair, left her child behind (and then when that child comes back, is not excited or regretful and doesn’t care about him in the least), sees her children as burdens and then tries to get sympathy from them by blaming the dad for not letting her see her children?
And after the husband died, she had all the time in the world with them but instead she was too busy trying to marry them off so she could spend time being a prostitute. Tilly didn't even tell Henry that it was her until after they got married. The whole thing was an ick. Imagine being the female version of the simp (Henry, ofc) and being played by two twin prostitute men (or porn stars, if you will) that constantly switch between each other, you have sex with both of them thinking it's the other one...and then you're okay being with the one you didn't want to be with because she looks like her? Gross.
And then there’s Mary. My god, how I hate Mary so much. She’s a hypocrite. I feel like she was brought up at the start of the book way too much. This rant is an extension of the rant from her novella that I can’t get over. There’s a scene at the start where she acknowledges how great Sir Osborne is and then tells her brother he better be a good husband…as if she’s a good wife lol. Like why don’t you take your own advice, sis. And then, oh dear god this killed me, she brings up intimacy in marriage and when poor Hugo just RESPONDS to it, she gets all mad and is like ‘don’t talk about your private life with me’ like HUH?! Girl, you literally brought it up! Belle, later on, talks about how lucky she is to have Osborne because he’s a good guy and ‘doesn’t keep a mistress as Papa did’ as if to bring up how women are the innocent ones but it's never shown that they can be just as bad considering Mary is keeping a paramour. So yeah, another one to add to the 'author supposedly hates men' list.
Hope was bearable but she seemed like a different character as if the author forgot about how she’d written her in the previous one. Literally in the book before hers so it’s only been a year, so how can someone change that much lmao. In ‘Grace’, Hope fusses over Amy’s babies and is all happy and excited and then in this book…does a complete 360 and doesn’t like kids? Oh, and constantly, CONSTANTLY, she would tell us, the reader, that she's not in love with Hugo, that there could never be any passion and after the fiftieth time of her saying that, a page after, they're making out in passion and saying they're in love now. WHAT IS GOING ON. Is the author confused? Because I was. I still am.
Also I feel like she got the worst male hero out of all of them. I mean ‘he smelt like horse and dog'. Uh, wow, so sexy...For a romance novel, there was barely any romance between the main characters. I didn’t buy his feelings for her at all because there was no real reason behind it, despite him mentioning it three billion times. And for him to all of a sudden change his mind about the house when he was in the middle of high stakes gambling FOR IT made me laugh so hard because it was so stupid. An example, if you will: 'I never even thought about her or even wanted to think about her, I only dreamt of her inheritance, and now I'm stuck with her and so I love her so much it's crazy.' Not the exact words but pretty much the gist. And so not the convenience of marriage romance novel I was expecting.
I actually liked Ernest’s and Clarissa’s characters. Ernest more than Clarissa because he's a borderline psychopath and I loved it. Well, up to a certain point, that is (all of a sudden switching up everything and making Clarissa innocent and Ernest the bad guy was poorly done because there was nothing in it to hint it going that way at all; in fact, Clarissa seemed more of the villain from the start and there was nothing to suggest otherwise so I don’t buy it). I don’t think the author intended for that, but they were actually written so well, I could picture them perfectly in my head.
It was interesting because they kind of symbolised (at least to me) the 21st century because of the way they challenge the norms (shaking hands, dancing close together etc etc). Hugo has a meltdown about the 'collapse of civilisation without hierarchy', and when Ernest sniggered, I did too because it's a big contrast in how the world works now! I enjoyed that aspect of it. Which would be the one star, because I would give it 0 if I could.
on a side note: HOLY SHIT, that twist of Ambleside having an illegitimate child and paying her and her mother to keep silent was so shocking. An actual twist that had me gasping for air (because I was laughing so hard. I knew my POS radar was on point). Poor Amy. She deserved way better than him.
END OF SPOILERS.
Frank's end statement: 'What a wonderful family'.
Correction: What a horrible, miserable family.
That was a ride I never want to go on again.