"when she has worked her muscles too hard, her entire body feels as if it is trembling inside. knots in her legs, hips, feet. stockings bloody at the toes. some days everything comes together beautifully, her body obeys and even surprises her with its achievements. other days it disappoints her. she is forever cleaning her toe shoes and ironing her costumes, stitching elastics and ribbons onto her slippers. listening to notes after rehearsal, shedding occasional tears. the frustration of unattainable perfection… she kisses her mother’s cheeks and steps out into the twilight, past children playing hockey in the alley, their bright voices like chimes in the cut-glass air. in the street overstuffed trams roll slowly by, passengers clinging to the sides, as nina heads to her world of tights and tutus, of makeup rubbed on and then off, of the bolshoi curtains drawn apart and then together again, their gold tassels swinging."
mid-december, i started dreaming about ballet again; it's a form of art that has a very particular place in a child's imagination, and in a woman's, i think. when i was very young, i dreamt of being so graceful that my feet would barely touch the ground, that i would no longer felt the weight of my head on my neck, that my arms would be like slender white parentheses that swept and arced and never strained; it was a dream of grace, but it was also about lightness, smallness, an insubstantiality that was both spiritual and disciplined. when i returned to it, a lumpen earthy body with none of the elasticity of a child, it was as a voyeur: it was something i had wanted, once, and would now never be mine.
there are different threads, i think, that form the knot that is dancer, prima ballerina particularly, as feminine ideal; part is desirability, dance as stylised sexuality, part is self-sacrifice, the body so thoroughly worked towards destruction, part is discipline, the mind and the art transcending the pain and weakness of the matter, part is unattainability, both body and person untouchable, elegant but inward-facing. when tied together, these strange, often contradictory impulses form what is often conceived of as idealised womanhood, a woman who is a vessel both for a higher art and for the desires and demands that are projected onto her, a woman whose body is so closely controlled and yet performs such natural, such effortless grace, a woman who is both a an object of desire, who performs romance and sometimes eroticism on stage, and yet who is immaculate in her purity, her transcendence of the low and the vulgar functions of the body.
i suppose what i'm trying to get at is that kalotay's project in russian winter is a sort of double demystification, the small-scale unmaking of two myths; she is engaging with the ongoing historical attempt to understand life in soviet russia and with the cultural allure, the individual enigma of the prima ballerina. i can't argue for her success or failure in the former, it's a moment in history that i'm sketchily familiar with but have done very little careful research into; in the latter, i'm critical.
kalotay's main character, nina revskaya, is an archetype of the ballerina myth. she is aloof, inscrutable, poised, timelessly beautiful, held in almost-perfect emotional and physical control - now something so written into her arthritic body that she can barely move. kalotay draws around her some of the implications of this myth; she has few meaningful connections, she has been selfish and at times blind, she is troublingly preoccupied with jealousy that is, if only partly, to do with competition, she is now trapped in a body too worn by constant strenuous movement and injury to function. and so we must reckon with the imperfections that attend the ideal.
but the other side to demystification is just as important as showing the failures of the myth, or the pains it carries in its shadow: it is to offer a substitute, in this case, to take away the myth of the prima ballerina/ideal femininity and offer instead humanisation, a character with substance and a rich inner life and an existence within a network of other, equally substantial characters. it is in this that i think kalotay stumbles; russian winter is a book that, despite questioning the role of image and myth, is so concerned with its own structure, bringing together a handful of disparate narratives artfully, impressing the reader with its own emotional and historical scope, that it ends up feeling entirely flat.