Don't Feed the Trolls

by Erica Kudisch

Gaming while female is enough to incur the wrath of the dude-bros, and they’ve come for me. Instead of fighting back, I’ve created an alternate account. Male name, male pronouns. And I’ve met this girl. I’ve always liked girls, and Laura’s adorable and smart and never gives up, and she likes me back. Or rather, she likes the man I’m pretending to be. But I can’t tell her I’m a woman without the mob coming after her too.

And besides: I might not be a woman, not really.

The truth is, I don’t know what I am anymore. I’ve spent my whole life being told how I’m supposed to act and what I’m supposed to be, but none of it feels right. And my lie is starting to feel truer than anything I’ve ever been.

There’s a convention coming up, but the closer it gets, the more I have to choose: lie or fight. But if I don’t stand my ground as a girl, am I letting the haters win?

Then again, those aren’t the only two ways to live.

Genres: Romance, Contemporary, LGBT, Transgender, Fiction, Queer, Young Adult

205 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2017

About the author

Erica Kudisch lives, writes, sings, and often trips over things in New York City. When not in pursuit of about five different creative vocations, none of which pay her nearly enough, you can usually find her pontificating about dead gay video games, shopping for thigh-high socks, and making her beleaguered characters wait forty thousand words before they get in the sack.

In addition to publishing novellas and short stories as fantastika-focused alter-ego Kaye Chazan (What Aelister Found Here and The Ashkenazi Candidate, both available at Candlemark & Gleam) Erica is responsible for the BDSM musical Dogboy & Justine, and serves as creative director and co-founder of Treble Entendre Productions.

She also has issues with authority. And curses too fucking much.

Reviews

[Aleksandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don't Feed the Trolls isn't exactly what I expected and I have mixed feelings about this book for personal reasons, I'll dive into it later.
But first two things:
1) The book is solid 4 stars; entertaining and easy to read, great characters and major plotline kept me hooked so I literally couldn't put the book down even though I have to be up early for work. Highly recommend to read it!
2) it's 2:30 am when I'm writing this review on my phone, so sorry if I got many typos or forgot English grammar or stopped making sense.

I got curious about this book when I saw it on RiptidePublishing website. Cute cover and queer story revolving around gaming? Sign me the f up!
To come clean, I know literally nothing about gaming or gaming community, so it was interesting for me to learn about them, but I can't say how good of a rep it is. (Although, a friend of mine said its good, so I trust them).

I mentioned mixed feeling. Let's start with clear 100% positive things:
1) Characters are amazing! Well-drafted and likable. The friendship between Daphnis, Alain and Jackie is the most important relationship in the book. They support each other and care about each other, they watch anime and snuggle together late at night- #squadgoals. Not to mention that the characters are diverse af. Basically everyone is queer or poc or queer poc.
2) The main character is pansexual transgender person, who is an actor, dancer and gamer. I love them a lot!
3) Romance between black bisexual law student lady and the MC. Swoons. To be fair, it was on the subplot. The main focus was definitely not on their relationship, but they were sweet and cute together.
4) Complexity of relationship between Orin and Daphnis. Multi-layered and something I've never come across in fiction.
5) Writing's very good, it was effortless to read and it's been a while since I flew through the book.
6) As far as I understand from the acknowledgment, Don't Feed the Trolls is #ownvoices for sapphic rep.

And the part that caused a lot of anxiety and restlessness and bad feelings while reading the book.
The pretty cover and deceptively fun title (have I been the only one who thought so??) didn't prepare me for huge amount of cyber bullying, harassment, abuse, threats of violence, rape and death, doxxing. Apparently, it's my hard limit? ( I have a weird feeling "hard limit" refers to sex.. Or it's 3 am talking). I didn't feel good/safe reading it. I know I'm not supposed to, but those topics made me anxious and made me stay up late to finish the book so I would know what happened before going to sleep. Not healthy for me.

Please, if you might think that cyberbullying, threats of rape/murder/abuse, stalking and real life aggression based on gaming experience might be triggering for you, I advice to proceed with caution. Because it's very explicit and it's on the page, so yeah. Please be careful.

From what I can tell, the novel handles the topics well and I really want these "gamers will be gamers" and "if she can't take smack talk she should leave" gamers read this book and see that they are being clearly fucking wrong, oh my fucking god. (Will they be able to understand what's written tho??? I doubt)

Internet is a safe space for me. Even imagining someone looking me up irl and following, is painful and terrifying.

It's not my place to talk about abuse in online games, but ffs the common sense and decency isn't fucking canceled when you log into Reign of Heroes or whatever. I'm shutting up now.

I think resolution of the conflict was too good to be true tbh.

Okay, I'm going to sleep now. I might edit this rambling some time tomorrow.

[Mel González · Rating 4 out of 5]

"It's so fucking important what chromosomes you've got that even in a world that claims to let you be anything you want, you still have to be what they say you are first."

*ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.*

Okay, I'm going to be very careful with this review because I don't want to seem insensitive to a lot of the issues presented in this book so let me preface this by saying this book involves a lot of thoughts from the main character about being trans/genderqueer and I'm neither of those things so I can't tell you if the representation is well done or not and from what I know and can tell (which doesn't mean I'm right), this is not an #ownvoices book on those topics so take those things in consideration if you're thinking about picking this book up and while reading this review. So, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It presented topics that I think I've never read about (but I've seen a lot) like sexism, homophobia, racism, transphobia in gaming, as well as harassment online and how it transforms into offline harassment, among a lot of other things. It was also gorgeously diverse. The main character, apart from being in this journey of figuring out their gender identity, is pansexual, their best friend is gay and does drag, their other best friend is a lesbian (and a fanfiction writer), their other friend is Jewish and queer I think(?) and their romantic interest is a bisexual POC (latina? I think?). All of these things are explicitly said and discussed on page and at least in the pansexual and bisexual representation, which I both identify as, it was really well done. There were a lot of other LGBTQ+ side characters and all of them are super naturalised into this environment and into the mind of the MC and their friends and I loved that.

I feel like you definitely need to know a little bit about gaming to understand some of the things that happen in this book. Especially about MMOs and how they work because I've played a lot of video games but none of those types so I was a bit lost at the beginning. Another thing is that, and here's why I'm being careful, Daphnis talked about their transitioning as starting again as another character and like a way of putting their past behind and do things that make them happy this time. As Daphnis being another person where they go to look for happiness. And I totally saw that they were happier when they found the gender expression and identity that they liked and felt comfortable with but at the same time it felt like the things that happened (the online harassment) made them think about their transition for the first time ever. I mean, there are hints that they aren't sure about their gender at the beginning but I would have liked to see a bit more of a backstory and depth in that regard. But this is just me wondering and rambling as a cis person and I'm not judging their experience because I have no idea what that's like. Also, it felt like everything with Laura happened super quickly and I really shipped them but I would have liked to see more of them flirting. I just feel like the length of this book affected a lot of these aspects that needed more build up and like I said, depth.

On the other hand, I loved how supportive their friends were. Like, they immediately accept Daphnis transition and support them changing their name and pronouns and correcting everyone who got it wrong. They were also super complex and had their own voices and personalities, which I always like. I also adored the convention part, like the last five or six chapter were my favourites because they were so fun to read and at the same time, heartbreaking at some points. But in general, the descriptions of the cosplays, the parties, the convention centre, the panels, everything took me to that moment and I'm such a geek for loving those things but this book is very geeky and I love that. It also doesn't sugarcoat the abuse and harassment I mentioned before though, it's crude and raw when it has to be and as I'm sure we all know, people go through these things in real life and it's so important that this book mentioned them and discussed them with such clarity. I also loved how it was a call out to the big corporations that don't care about what the players do in their game and do a lot of institutionalised sexism because that ingrained in the gaming industry and if that doesn't change from the top down, it's going to be very hard to solve it.

[Alison · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. This was neat. I quite liked it. It's about internet trolls and gaming and friendship and sexism and going to a big con and it's downright engaging. I'm not a gamer or a con-goer, and this story worked for me and I definitely enjoyed it. The main character is a New York musical theatre actor (who's also a committed gamer) and there's a lot of small, wonderful musical theatre jokes, which, if you're familiar with the subject, are pretty amusing. I would call this more a coming-of-age story than a romance, as the romance doesn't get a lot of attention and is definitely a background thing. The romance is nice, however, and the love interest is pretty awesome. The Three Musketqueers made me smile (you'll have to read it to find out). Gender identity and gender expression are big themes here and there's an interesting examination of what gender means on the internet, as well as in real life. I found the main character's struggle with their own gender identity to be quite sudden and very brief and surprisingly easily resolved (I'm sure some people have it that quick and easy, but it was verging on unbelievable for me), though it carries on as an interesting subplot. This book is diverse in a wonderfully natural way and features lots of queers and people of colour. There are some in-game scenes, mostly early on, and they're pretty straightforward, and, speaking as a non-gamer, I didn't have too much trouble understanding what was going on. There are some quite vicious scenes of trolling and online harassment, which are pretty unpleasant to read, and there's also some physical violence and hate speech, so beware. I thought this was a well done story--it's thoughtful and engaging and gives a interesting perspective on the gaming world. The cover is also super cool.

[tatterpunk · Rating 1 out of 5]

ONE STAR: I regret reading this.

I feel pretty shitty whenever I rate indie books so low. And if we're speaking more objectively, this is more a two- or three-star book: it's got color, it's got voice, it's got, idk, interesting ideas, it's fairly readable. But when Goodreads only gives me five options to communicate the entire spectrum of my experience, the heart rates what the heart rates.

It's just not good, in the end, and then the fact it's also kind of stupid really drags it down. The paperback blurbs itself (in a very different description from what's on Goodreads) as being ultra-nerdy and ultra-progressive in its politics and representation: a story about a gamer girl who, fleeing online abuse, adopts a male character and finds herself developing feelings for another girl player who doesn't know she's not a man. Sounds tropey but fun, and fannish, right?

In reality, it's almost a completely different story. Yes, Daphnis (who initially goes by Daphne) falls for a woman in the game, but their relationship barely features -- they talk a grand total of five times, before the epilogue? But Daphnis isn't a girl. And the book is 95% about how they navigate vitriolic online spaces, offline assault, and their genderqueer (? they never put a label on it, which is fine) identity. Except in a weird way this book tries so hard, it circles back around into being kind of shitty in its queer representation, because none of this is done thoughtfully -- or even, I suspect, deliberately. (The book reads very much like a first draft with a rough polish. It's not even 200 pages, and a lot of that is chat logs and blog posts and forum comments, with all the whitespace that entails.) Even its nerdy fannishness is somehow snide and condescending.

Let me tackle that stuff one bite at a time.

First, queerness. (With some critique of the racial politics thrown in.) I think a story about a gamer using MMORPG experiences to explore gender identity and expression, especially in how they relate to their sexuality and sexual partners, would be incredible. But that's not really what happens in this book. There's no real journey, here, no exploration beyond the aesthetic of different haircuts and clothing -- other people make suggestions to Daphnis about their gender, they go, "yeah, maybe," or "I don't know," other people decide to switch to using they/them pronouns for Daphnis, they feel pretty happy about it, the end.

Now, I'm cis, so I'm not in any position to critique from the angle of personal experience. But as a story this feels... underwhelming. Even, dare I say it, a bit glib. Superficial.

I can object to the line about how asking a drag queen to help you with male drag is like "asking a pastry chef to make a chili dog." What... the fuck? Traditionally male aesthetics in gender performance are just as nuanced, expert, and gorgeous as traditionally female aesthetics, fuck off, and even if that wasn't meant to be implied I mean, what an insanely misguided simile. It's almost worse if it wasn't meant to be intentionally derogatory towards male drag, because you are a writer, words are your craft. If you want to convey that someone attuned to emphasizing the "feminine" is a bit perplexed by reversing course on the gender spectrum, do that. Don't compare drag queens to trained experts of a respected craft, and other kinds of gender performance to dumping a ladle of foodstuff onto different foodstuff. Jesus.

We leap from "shitty words" to "shitty choices" when it comes to how Daphnis and Laura, the Black love interest, develop a relationship. A Black, nerdy, bisexual love interest should, again, be something to celebrate -- but Laura's appearance was described in a way that made me uncomfortable, with Daphnis marveling at how "rare" it is to see freckles on a Black complexion (no... it's not? wtf) and Laura's "unbearably generous ass." I am down for perving on beautiful bodies, okay, but Laura is so underdeveloped as a character that her fetishized physical attributes seemed to be primarily why Daphnis was into her. (Well that and how toppy Laura is, which of course is presented without on-page negotiation. What is that saying, about not being life support system for a whip...sigh.)

It gets even worse when factoring Laura's sexuality. Laura explicitly states she's bisexual, as in attracted to men and women, but uninterested in relationships with men. Okay, awesome, love more complex approaches to bisexuality overall. Only she is super into Daphnis as soon as it's established they were AFAB, I mean they both then fall directly into bed. Before that, not so much? She seemed friendly, but not meaningfully flirty, so it's a marked switch. And there's no discussion, ever, about how Laura fits nonbinary or genderqueer expression into a model of attraction she previously framed as binary. Intentionally or not, it reads as if Laura's attraction is based on Daphnis's genitals first and foremost, and their actual gender identity is a negligible detail.

How do you fill a book with gender fuckery and drag queens and yet get that utterly wrong?

And then, the nerdy/fannish stuff. (And how it relates to the gender politics.)

Okay, there's no nice way to say this: the nerd shit in the book is unconvincing af.

That's mean! I am a mean, gate-keeping nerd girl! But it's either outdated -- Weiss Kruz? Maria-sama ga Miteru? fucking Firefly are you kidding me, can we leave that Confederacy-apologist bullshit BEHIND already -- or feels like Kudisch got cheat notes from someone else and copy-pasted the answers into the manuscript. (That's not how blue-booking works, actually.) None of it is unpacked for a potentially ignorant reader, and a lot of it feels... off? Like, an MMORPG of the size and scale described without a "Report Abuse" function? A game developer able to cancel con panels? The musical theater references are solid, the usual Hitchhikers/Star Wars/etc allusions are numerous, but it doesn't feel like a representation of the fannish world as it is, and definitely not how it was around the time of Gamergate.

Speaking of.

Gamergate was a travesty, full stop. But this book doesn't depict what online harassment actually looks like. The closest it comes is an inbox full of rape threats, which, fair enough, good start. But from there on out it's a lot of getting beat up on sidewalks, chased at cons, bricks thrown through windows, etc -- it doesn't work to create the specifics of how online mobs work and just defaults to IRL attacks, which really misses the point.

This is frustrating beyond words, because while the stories of the brave people who stood up to that hate group are worth capturing, this book isn't it. It's a bunch of nonsensical scenarios and Kiwi Farms-level doxxing for simply being a woman online. Framing online misogyny only in the terms of such grotesquely evil machinations doesn't help anyone. It's like thinking any and all racism is full-throated slurs or burning crosses; it does nothing to unpack the systematic oppression and microaggressions of common experience, or how small injustices stack up to outsize the Empire State Building. It's shooting strawfish in a barrel.

And this is minor in comparison to the rest, but not unlike the weird sense of queerness rooted in cissexism, the fannish stuff is... like, kind of anti-fandom. Daphnis's roommate is a fanfic writer, which means she writes "smut" (like all fanfic writers in this book) for an audience of "teenagers" but at least is providing "positive sex representation." Like. Wow, it would take me a while to unpack the levels of insulting in there, but: 1. fanfic is not just ethical porn, or always/often porn full stop; 2. it's not primarily appreciated by young people, and it'd be weird if it were given the assumptions of #1; 3. it doesn't have to excuse its existence by providing "good representation," sexual or otherwise, even if it did, because I would argue it mostly isn't and doesn't, which is kind of the great thing about it, has Kudisch even read fanfic.

I did say it was a minor point, and it is, but it also contributes to the overall feeling of aesthetic over experience -- where, and when, and how, does Daphnis ever actually enjoy being such a fucking geek? Not in the game. They enjoy their IRL friends, but their friends are arty genderfucks on top of the nerdy shit, as is Daphnis, cosmopolitan accent and professional dancer's body and all. There's a clear binary in the book, where fandom consists of either cool, think-outside-the-box people who like nerd shit for the "right" reasons (aka you're allowed to like anime, portrayed as ridiculous and/or fetish-y, if you're queer), or racist, misogynist, emotionally-stunted keyboard ninjas. While I would never say either type doesn't exist in fandom (though I'd argue more along a spectrum), the portrayal of cool kids vs. BBT-type losers is so cartoonish, and it means Daphnis has literally no online community to speak of, rendering their fannish investment pretty hollow. They care about Eternal Reign because of the work they put into it, not because it contributes to their life in any meaningful way (like, say, musical theater clearly does), and so the stakes are so low in regaining their kingdom and award, as a reader I never understood why I should care.

Oh, and Daphnis jokes about MMORPG players having small penises. Yay, body-shaming as supposedly queer and feminist humor! I... hate it.

And in general the book is just not very good. So much telling instead of showing. Characterization is criminally thin. I complained about Laura, the love interest, under the spoiler tags, but no one else fares much better. The queer roommates are ride-or-die on the level of constantly quoting "one for all/all for one" at each other... why? They just are. Backstory? Eh. The evil people are mustache-twirlers, except when there's a heel-turn of a happy ending. Orin and Daphnis's relationship, which turns out to be kind of important, is revealed in an infodump that actually detracts from any build in tension or climax when the consequences of it come back to haunt them.

Daphnis themselves is primarily either Sad or French. They have zero agency as a character. They don't do anything to effect the major events of the book -- that would be Laura, or Alain, or even Orin! They have one moment which has bearing on how the plot unfolds, and it is pure Stupid For The Sake of Plot. (We're talking suicidally stupid as well as OOC.)

Oh, and I'm just being petty at this point, but why the hell not: there's a line about "fuck the [x] hotel staff... with the same rake" from Daphnis, and so they can get fucked as well! I don't care if they do menial work now, they clearly came from money to have emigrated and have an extensive education in the arts (and their friend group is an "heiress" plus someone who regularly wears Louboutins). And this privileged dilettante makes these kinds of statements -- after suffering an entire book of similar sexual threats, so apparently no lesson learned -- about hourly workers and hospitality staff? Because management was too cheap to have cameras on the perimeter? Great job! Way to make me lose sympathy for a protagonist in five seconds flat.

I wanted to like this book, it ended up disappointing and frustrating me on almost every level. I wish it hadn't, and so: one star.

[Faye · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I was provided an ARC of this book by Riptide.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, which definitely doesn't shy away from the topics mentioned in the cover blurb. In fact, part of the reason I was so enchanted was that - as a RPG fan with a lot of MMO-playing (and/or otherwise gamer) friends, and a con-goer - the world is absolutely credible and real. There are a lot of analogues and in-jokes that I think are especially nice as little shout-outs or nods throughout the story, but the world is explained in enough detail that I'm pretty sure it'd be accessible to the most casual gamer.

I was especially pulled in by the suggestion of a genderqueer narrator, as, being genderfluid myself. I did have a bit of suspension-of-disbelief necessary for the small amount of time it took Daphnis to accept their trans/GQ identity as legit and go right into passing as trans-masculine, but not all people are alike and I think given the length of the book that's okay. (Let's be honest: I'm just grumpy because I want 200 more pages of this book going in more depth on all the characters. Which is a good thing). Also I still need to unpack my jealousy about Daphnis being able to pass so easily...

The other part of the not-quite-five-stars is that I wanted more buildup to the relationship between Laura and Daphnis. More flirting, more UST, more of who Laura is behind the amazing smile and freckles and being generally a feminist black woman in the gaming world. More NOT unresolved sexual tension, for that matter! Though I think that's because I usually expect Riptide stories to be straight up romances. This one isn't, in terms of erotica, and that's fine -- it's much heavier on the character arc and plot than on the sex. Again, just wanted 200 more pages. Not entirely a bad thing.

Despite my quibbles, this is a solid four stars and a compelling plot that I didn't find myself guessing from the beginning. I really felt for the characters and their varying motivations, and the prose reads easily and hits all my favorite rep and political discussions and call-outs. Also: the Musketqueers -- PLEASE tell me there's a series of stories on these friends forthcoming.

All in all, would totally read more (obvs) from Kudisch.

Trigger warnings for this one: ...misogyny, racism/ethnic slurs and allusion to rape threats, all in the form of in-game comments. Some stalking behavior and transphobia. None of these are overtly graphic but if you've been on the receiving end of internet-based violence, just be aware that's what this book is about.

[namericanwordcat · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this is a pretty intersting caper with a tone of action and some good thinking on on line bulling and the gaming industry, the romance is pretty lack luster.

We get an intersting coming of age and self discovery story but while there is a love plot it takes a backseat.

The writing didn't quite work for me in terms of point of view but it was an intersting book.

[pi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've never been very fond of video games, but I know how hard it can be for female gamers (or gamers who are read as girls), because they are always dealing with being called fake and/or with online harassment (including death and rape threats). So it's good to read a book that talks about this reality without sugarcoating it. Plus, it doesn't only talk about sexism, but it faces racism, homophobia, and transphobia in gaming, and how it affects people in real life.

What I love the most about this books is that reading it feels like kicking gender binary's ass, and it's so great!! It's true that it's not an #ownvoices book and that I'm a cis girl, so I might be wrong, but I thing the rep is pretty good. In my opinion, it reflects very well all the gender stereotypes in our society and clarifies that there is much more than we've been taught.

Another amazing thing about this book is the super diverse cast of characters.
- First we meet Daphnis, a gamer who is non-binary and identifies as pan (thank you, thank you, thank you! Give me all the pan rep!!!).
- Then, we meet Daphnis' best friends, aka the Musketqueers <3 On the one hand, there is Alain, who is also a gamer, an Algerian gay boy who does drag. On the other hand, there is Jackie, who is a lesbian and writes fanfiction. They are awesome and I love how they take care of each other.
- Finally, we meet Laura (my fave!! *_*), a black bi girl who is also a gamer. She's so supportive, and so cute, and is so ready to fight against trolls and defend what is right!! AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!! <3

It would be great if the book was longer because it would give more depth to some aspects, and we could know more about the buildup of the relationship between Daphnis and Laura.

Overall, "Don't feed the trolls" is a very interesting book that explores nerd culture, online harassment, friendship, and discovering yourself, and I strongly recommend it.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, allusion to rape and death threats.

*I received a digital copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[silentstep]

I was unsure I'd like this book, since I found it on my own rather than through a recommendation, but I ended up enjoying it quite a lot. It was a fairly novel experience to be able to understand what felt like every single pop-culture reference, and what's more, that it felt like the characters were using them and referencing them the same way I would, in conversation with my friends or in my own internal monologue; that was pretty cool. It is the sort of book that I can't help but think, even as I am reading, "This is going to feel immensely dated within a couple years," but, well, it's certainly relevant in the moment. Also pretty unique in my experience was reading about a genderfluid character whose journey and struggle felt so very like mine-- I came close to tearing up at a few points, which I hadn't expected, just recognizing my own thought processes in the protagonist's. It rang very true for me, though I'm not as far along in figuring out my own stuff as the protagonist is by the end. It was also really nice seeing a character have those kinds of revelations about themself when they're an adult rather than a teenager. I liked all the various supporting characters, and enjoyed the descriptions of the settings, the characters' daily lives, and their online lives as well. I liked, as well, the relationships between the various characters, and the main romance was really sweet. It took me a little while to get used to the narrator's voice, but by a quarter of the way in I knew at least that I wanted to continue, and as it progressed I really got caught up.
Overall, while it's not breaking into my shortlist of Top Books Of All Time Forever, it was a really enjoyable novel, well worth the read, and a depiction of genderfluidity that I absolutely loved seeing on the page. I'd recommend it.

[Siobhan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don’t Feed The Trolls is an enjoyable and incredibly relevant novel about online harassment, friendship, and discovering yourself even when times are hard. The narrative centres around anonymous male trolls going after a player on an online multiplayer game and how this affects the lives of various people. Alongside this, the main character realising some stuff about their gender and presentation during the fallout from this online abuse. The highs and lows of modern technology and the problems when online free speech turns into harassment are dealt with, but the novel also focuses on the ways in which friends can help out and people can find their strength.

Kudisch’s style is easy to get into and the novel was not difficult to engage with for a non-gamer. The characters, particularly the main character Daphnis, are vividly painted and form a crucial core to the book, making it easy to be frustrated and angry at the effect that the trolls can have upon them. Many elements of fan culture run throughout the novel, including gaming, conventions, and musical references, and these give it a modern and relevant feel not only in the subject matter, but in the world it depicts.

Don’t Feed The Trolls is ultimately an uplifting novel about how the internet trolls can be beaten and how there’s always space to explore yourself and your identity in order to feel more comfortable as yourself. It is exactly the kind of novel that is perhaps needed these days, engaging with current issues but also a light and fun read.

[Lexxi Kitty · Rating 4 out of 5]

*I received this book from NetGalley and Riptide Publishing in return for a fair review.*

Note: This book will be published April 3 2017.

Mini-review: Curious how the book has been marketed so far, I looked it up on NetGalley (Netgalley link and the publishers website (Riptide Link). The book has been put into two sections on NetGalley – General Fiction (Adult) and LGBTQIA – and Riptide has other works up that they’ve put in the Romance section so that was done on purpose. And the publisher has the genre listed as ‘drama, new adult’.

So there you go – this is a LGBTQIA new adult general fiction book filled with drama. But do not specifically look for romance.

Genre: Drama, New Adult, LGBTQIA, General Fiction
Setting: New York City, Seattle (GeeKon convention), Los Angeles, Eternal Reign game
Occupations: Actress, Singer, Writer, Gamer, Drag Queen
Main Characters: Fatiguee Altestis */Daphne Benoit **/Daphnis ***/Bannedict *** (* - Eternal Reign name used by the character; ** - birth name; *** the character, after controversy erupts, enters Eternal Reign on a new server on an alternative just-created account named Bannedict (and when asked by someone what their meat name is/was, they reply ‘Daphnis’, which is, apparently, the male form of Daphne)
Major Characters Alain/Ivy LeVine (drag queen roommate, Ivy being the drag queen name); Jackie/Lady Francois (rich fanfiction author (the Lady Francois part, though I’m not sure how often that name actually gets mentioned) with many devoted followers); Sachem/Orin (Sachem is Fatiguee Altestis’s second in command in the Eternal Reign game, and the meat people (or the players who control the characters), Orin and Daphne have a long history together); Uhruu*D*/Laura (current head of the server Bannedict/Daphnis plays on, potential romance interest).
Side Characters: Malcolm Harding (head of publicity at Summerstorm); Ivan (angry dude-bro); Martin Summers (head of Summerstorm, which puts out Eternal Reign – barely in book); Neal Merino (MMO correspondent for Jongleur/maintainer of Eternal Reign subreddit); Kilosi (character in Eternal Reign).
Story: The book opens with the main character receiving news that their submission in a novelization contest had won a contest (prizes include such things as a ‘badge’ for GeeKon convention). Certain amount of shocked screaming then occurs among the main character, whose name shifts depending on the situation, Alain and Jackie. Between excited squeaking and delivery of celebratory dinner, Daphne logs onto the internet – to be meet with waves and waves of vicious cyber-bullying attacks based entirely on the fact that Fatiguee’s won and assumptions that, since the game character is female, then the player is also female.

Naturally this deeply impacts Daphne who is already having a tough time of it – what with her real life attempts to make it as an actor haven’t gone that way lately. And stuff. So a certain distancing from Fatiguee occurs, but not from the game. No, the creation of a new game character, a male character, occurs – Bannedict. This almost immediately leads Daphne to tell someone through in-game chatting that their real life name is Daphnis.

The controversy swirls. Games played. White-knighting occurs by Orin. Gamergate-like backlash ensues. Gaming convention occurs. Gender questions are raised (as in, as the snippet on Netgalley puts it, ‘I might not be a woman, not really.’)

Review:
Thoughts: In general, this was an enjoyable book to read. In general. Certain rough patches occurred, hence the drama genre tag, certain realizations made through the fog of ‘do I just think it would be easier to be male, or do I actually think I might be?’

As far as the gaming aspects – most of the stuff that occurred flew right over my head – I mean the in-game descriptions. And I kind of had the impression that Laura and Daphnis would spend more time together in the course of the book (even if only through the game). They did, just . . . less time than expected. And good thing this isn’t really a romance because there was more ‘romance’ like stuff between Orin and Daphne than between Laura and Daphnis (thin relationship then pouncing).

I thought of certain things when I was thinking of what to put in a review. Like above how I mentioned that much of the in-game stuff flew over my head. And I was thinking how much or little of my own experience I should mention. Like, should I mention that I played MUDs, MUSH’s and the like back in the early and mid-1990s? Played multi-player games of Doom in college? Played one version of one of the Star Wars online multiple player games, played another version of Star Trek, twice attempted to play WoW and got bored quickly; and that I myself am basically a game character? No? Not mention? Mention? Normally it isn’t an important part of a review of a book, except here when I make comments like how the gaming stuff flew over my head. Probably because I’ve spent the most time involved in games that were/are different than that described in this book.

Right. Well, interesting good book.

Rating: 3.88

February 23 2017

References made by me to other vaguely similar work/topics:
Internet/cyber bullying - Camp Rewind (woman tries to hide from internet/cyber bullying by going to an adult summer camp) & Drawn Together (I didn't finish the first, and haven't tried the second; my understanding of the second is that online stuff occurs, but most of the abuse is in person relating to a relationship).

Gaming/convention - Playing Passions Game, Love Games, Girl on Geek, The Student, the Rogue, the Catburglar

Genderfluid - transgender or not transgender? - Under My Skin (or, having people take you for more than one gender depending on 'things' (accounts, roles, etc.)

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given a copy of this book to read and review for Wicked Reads.

This story dragged me into the alternate universe of MMO gaming. Even though my own gaming experiences are limited to Tetris and Freecell, I found Daphnis’ world fascinating and I really enjoyed their journey in this story.

Much of this book is an exploration of gender and sexuality - especially within the very visible world of acting and the more private world of online gaming. The characters in this story are wonderfully diverse but at times some of the characters feel like vehicles for the author’s message than actual people. This is a message heavy book and there are moments and characters that need a few more shades of grey and a little less idealism.

I am definitely much older than the target reader for this story. Daphnis and their slacker friends (who either live off of rich parents or somehow manage to exist in NYC as barely jobbing actors) are living the Millennial hipster dream. Gen X readers like myself probably need to refer back to their Douglas Coupland and Kevin Smith years if they are going to have any empathy for characters whose biggest concern is hate mail from players in an online game.

I struggled some with the structure and format of this book. The author assumes a basic knowledge of MMORPGs and uses often uses vocabulary that may be familiar to gamers but left me a little bewildered. Many of Daphnis’ conversations are written - often taking place within a game as electronic conversations. I found the constant shift to script-like conversations distracting and difficult to navigate. But again - I’m pretty sure I’m not the target audience!

Beyond my generation gap issues is a wonderful story of a journey towards honest self-identity. I loved the fluid nature of gender and sexuality in this book and I’m really happy to see more diverse characters in print. I really enjoyed this delightfully unconventional book.

[Cindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not really sure how to feel about this book. There were some things I liked but some things that just pissed me off.

[Jenna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Covered a lot of important and pertinent topics, not just for the gaming world. I wish the book had been longer, as a lot of the plot and world building was rushed over (the MMO, the romance, the transitioning) and I would’ve liked to see more. In fact, some of it was disappointingly brief. But I did enjoy the book overall and will definitely try more of the author’s gamer-centric writing.

[kory. · Rating 3 out of 5]

rep; daphnis (mc) is pansexual and transgender/non-binary. laura (li) is black and bisexual. alain (sc) is a gay drag queen. jackie (sc) is a lesbian.

this book was...interesting. i knew it was about gaming, but i didn’t think there would be so many descriptions about the games and stuff. i feel like i was supposed to already have a knowledge of all of that. there was a lot of stuff that could be triggering to some, like rape and death threats, stalking, harassment, doxxing, physical violence, and transphobia. but i like that the characters stood up for themselves and against all of that, and fought to be taken seriously and respected. and i liked that the main character is pan, but it’s not the main part of their storyline or even a big deal. it’s just mentioned once in a conversation and that was that.

“bannedict: i didn’t fight it, i just told people for years that my orientation was shrug
uhruu*d: you’re bi?
bannedict: pan’s closer but honestly i’ve never cared about anatomy. i worry too much about my own to spare a fuck for anyone else’s. not that it matters much these days.”

“it’s easy enough to say i don’t look at it [gender] in other people, not as potential hookups anyway.”

“i’ve seen other people, though we haven’t exactly discussed that, and i’m sure he has too. i hope he has too. i may not have been with any men since him, but that doesn’t mean i haven’t been with any people.”

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I honestly kinda loved this book

4.5 stars rounded up

I just really liked so much about this story. I loved the friendship between Daphnis, Alain, and Jackie so much, and how they always have each other’s back. I love the support Daphnis had as they figured out gender expression and how much Alain and Jackie helped with figuring out their presentation. Those are the kinds of friends everyone deserves!

I also really related to several aspects of Daphnis’ story, the figuring out gender and how and why to define it certain ways.

I also adored the relationship with Laura. It wasn’t central to the entire story, but I still liked the way it developed and the soft quality to their relationship in the epilogue.

My reason for it not being a full five stars is the story uses several phrases and acronyms that are exclusive to theater or MMORPGs and I feel like that kinda detracts from ease of enjoyment? Like, I understood most things, but as I’m not actually a part of either community it makes sense that some of it would be beyond me.

Content warnings: side character has his personal information disseminated online (doxxed), MC gets a lot of harassing messages (including rape, murder, and violent themes), MC working through their gender feelings and expression (though largely positive experience).

[Miss Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

so i woke up this morning and i thought to myself, you know what z? don't feed the trolls deserves a better review than like three sentences about how it stressed you the heck out, let's rewrite the thing

so don't feed the trolls kicks off with our lead, daphne discovering she's won a bluebooking contest for her favourite mmorpg, sunstorm. this is awesome for like two minutes before she gets flooded with a storm of harassment because gamer bros are garbage

(this book is pretty clearly drawing inspiration from brianna wu and anita sarkeesian and all the boatload of women who've gotten shit for daring to game while female because again, gamer bros are garbage)

anyways it sure is something to have to deal with all this toxic bullshit for being perceived as a woman gamer especially since daphne is starting to figure out that woman might not be the right term for them after all...?

i'm stressing the harassment daphnis (nee daphne) undergoes here because it is pervasive and it is stressful as HELL to read, like i couldn't stop reading last night until i finished because i needed to know that daphnis would be okay??? and i don't think the marketing for this book really conveys that, like based off the cover and the summary i thought i'd be reading a relatively light romance novel about a gamer and what i got was a bildungsroman focused on self-discovery with a minor romantic storyline which, along with daphnis' friendships, provided grace notes to a pretty emotionally brutal novel

it's really good! and it ends with the founder of the game agreeing to create reporting mechanisms for harassment in game and firing their head of publicity who's been pretty obviously pursuing a vendetta against daphnis. which is a goddamn relief to read even though it was one of the few points where i was like ...not sure i believe it would've gone down that way irl but i'll take the win so like, worth reading, loved the support that daphnis had from their friends and love interest, read it if you want something that looks at gaming and nerd culture without sugarcoating its downsides, do NOT pick it up if you're looking for a fluffy romance novel because you will be disappointed

4.5 stars

[Gladys · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have got to be honest and say I had mixed feelings about this book. This book caught my eye because I am A. a romance junkie, B. a gamer and C. a big believer in love is love, so this book appealed to me on multiple levels and while overall I mostly enjoyed this read it didn't really leave me satisfied. So lets address what my issues were. I read for the romance and I don't apologize for that. There is a seed of a really cute, fun, sweet and beautiful romance here, it basically plays second fiddle to everything else that goes on in this book. For me this was a real tragedy and a crushing disappointment. The gamer in me was more impressed with that side of the story. I think the author did a very good job of showing how complex and yet brutally simple the toxicity in gaming is and how sometimes in game can cause epic fallout in real life with unexpected and often catastrophic consequences. As the gaming side of this tale takes center stage and very firmly hogs the spotlight; I'm honestly not sure how appealing this book will be to you if you are not at the bare minimum an average level gamer. I found the main character's journey of self discovery and becoming who they were deeply compelling. I truly wish that this and the romance had been the shining stars of this read. Unfortunately though, I felt that they were like hidden gems that sadly got left unpolished.

[Offbalance · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the most pleasant experiences I have at the close of a book is a feeling of delight. To feel a warm, happy glow and a smile of satisfaction spread across my face as everything ends well is just a nice feeling. I've been reading a lot of heavy stuff lately (or at least trying to) and needed a little change of pace. I know the author socially (full disclosure) and when a mutual friend told me to pick up the book, I decided to give it a try, and was glad I did. It's a lovely story about a lovely world where people of all gender expressions, races, and sexual preferences mostly get along, and the ones who make a big fuss are big jerks who are dealt with swiftly and painfully. It's the opposite of heavy - but it's exactly what I needed right now.

[Veronica · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC via Netgalley. I'll admit I went in with very low expectations since I've had a lot of trouble finding well-written romance from indie publishers (and trouble finding queer romance from mainstream publishers, so it's just one side of a bigger problem) but this was an absolutely spot-on New Adult confection. Daphne/Daphnis is an endearing narrator whose occasional lapses into self-pity and -blame don't overwhelm the generally upbeat feeling of the story; their support group of friends is exactly what any struggling queer artist in NYC would want; the romance, while less prominent than I expected from the description, was very sweet. If a genderqueer gamer finding themself and triumphing over the trolls sounds like your idea of a good time, I highly recommend this book.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was really fun. This is an identity/coming of age and love story set in a MMO game and in the game culture surrounding it. I was a bit worried going in that it would be a pretty typical contemporary about online harassment but it deals with a lot of issues of identity (especially gender identity and sexuality). The topic of privilege is dealt with in a really fun and honest way. There are some small glimpses into drag culture. I especially liked the different interactions around pronouns and introductions and really appreciated that multiple reactions and discussions around identity fit seamlessly into the story.

[Savy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a nice short book for those who like to game, who feel different and who don't want to confirm to the male/female boxes. It is also a book about cyber-bullying and how this can affect someone's life. This book might be a bit challenging for those who never read these kind of stuff/don't know much about it, because the writer expects the reader to know a lot of terms already. Not just about gaming, but also about non-binary gender roles and transgender persons. Overall, it is a lovely story about the MC and their two sidekicks, the three musketeers.

All for one and one for all!

[Tessa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think the premise of the book sounded interesting but the execution wasn’t my cup of tea. All the gaming references and descriptions were too much and too detailed. Throughout the entire book I found myself thinking that it would be more interesting to read about Alain.
In the end, I wasn’t a fan of the plot either because it was all over the top for me. I liked the aspect of gender identity and sexuality though. I also appreciated all the theatre references :)

[Jessie MyLymuk · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.75 rounded up to 3.

This is a book that definitely has a target audience in mind. As a not-quite-gamer I really struggled with some of the lingo, acronyms and overall gamer-talk. In fact, I didn’t get any references until 3/4 of the way through the book (yay - Splatoon!).

Overall good story, but much too rushed as far as character development. Instead of getting bogged down in gamer-talk, I would have liked more insight into the main characters.

Still, a good concept with the inclusion of voices that need to be heard and a major issue that needs airing in the gaming community.

[Cheryl · Rating 3 out of 5]

The topic could lend itself to a textbook format but fortunately Erica Kudisch has provided us with an entertaining and informative read on the world of gaming and minorities. I enjoyed the characters and the community they live in and could really see something like this unfolding in the real world.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

The plot was good, but I found the main character to be a bit unlikable, despite being quite sympathetic. I know we shouldn't want/need to like our MCs, but what can I say? I can't help it. I felt the story needed more development of the supporting characters, particularly Laura, since they all seemed like pretty kick ass people you'd want to get to know better.

[Pandora · Rating 4 out of 5]

The gamer talk got dense for the uninitiated, but the story is awesome. It's a story I've seen people I know go through a few times, it's a nightmare, and it was very well shown in this book. I loved the hell out of it.
Also, the whole nb/trans situation was greatly relatable to me personally. So props for that too.

[Zahnii (Suzanne) Artis · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I were a gamer, I think I would have loved this even more! Centered around a contest victory, the story explores the ethics of gaming intermingled with challenging social situations. That sentence made it sound so dry... it was actually a super fun book and so great to have a spectrum of characters but with a focus on non-binary folx.

[Greyson · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. This book had me at enchante. Such a diverse book and such a wonderful story (although it was hard reading about the harassment of the main character). I couldn't stop reading it. I want more!

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such a great take on the world that female gamers face from male gamers, simply because they dare to game, and game well, while female. The layers added by having Daphnis struggle with their gender identity only serve to make the story richer.

[Dana Ragnarok · Rating 2 out of 5]

I couldn't actually finish this book - the descriptions of online harassment were too painful. I suppose it might be cathartic for others, but not for me - I could've done with far less detailed descriptions of people being horrible to the main character on the internet.