What do you think?
Rate this book
The Reluctant Apostate: Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses Comes at a Price
Jehovah's Witnesses, well known for their enthusiastic evangelism, are a global religious movement boasting over 8 million members. Despite being a familiar sight on doorsteps and street corners, little is known about their doctrines and practices. What are their expectations regarding Armageddon, and who do they believe will survive? How do they justify their ban on blood transfusions? What happens to members who decide to leave?
In this remarkably candid part-memoir, part-history guide, former Witness Lloyd Evans comprehensively explores the religion of his upbringing, charting the organization's metamorphosis from unassuming 19th Century brethren to global brand in the modern age.
The Witness rules on sex are dissected, as are their far-reaching ramifications on the private lives of millions of devotees. Evans also delves into the controversies surrounding child abuse and the prohibition on blood transfusions with the aid of first hand accounts from those who have been personally impacted.
Intertwined with the historical narrative and commentary is the story of the author's journey from devout Witness youth to outspoken ex-Witness activist and atheist.
Evans lays bare the circumstances leading to his "awakening" with startling honesty and reveals how the heartbreaking loss of his mother played a profound role in keeping long-held doubts suppressed.
In the final chapters, the author discusses the various means by which Witnesses are controlled by their leadership. Evans analyzes the role of shunning (disfellowshipping) and the stigmatization of "apostates" in enforcing loyalty among Witnesses, and reflects on the indifference of society in general to human rights violations by high-control groups. The phenomenon of fundamentalist brainwashing, or "undue influence," is also scrutinized, and those in search of a new life free from its pervasive effects are given reasons for hope.
Rather than being a sensationalist rant by an embittered ex-member, The Reluctant Apostate offers a relaxed, good-humored tour of Witness history and teachings supported by extensive references (to be found in the "Notes" section).
Though written predominantly with the non-Witness reader in mind, special boxes are also provided for Jehovah's Witness readers.
755 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 2, 2017
299 people are currently reading
600 people want to read
About the author
Lloyd Evans
2 books35 followersThis author has also gone by the pseudonym "John Cedars" and runs a popular YouTube channel by that name: https://www.youtube.com/user/johnceda...
Librarian’s note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name. See author profile: Lloyd Evans
Librarian’s note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name. See author profile: Lloyd Evans
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 79 reviews
February 6, 2017
Don't understand the negative stars unless they are from JWs wanting you to stay away from this honest book about Jehovah witnesses history and present dogma. The author was raised in this organization and was a leader in his congregation. After research and study he no longer could be part of an organization that wasn't in alignment with his conscience and reasoning. He doesn't paint JWs with a broad brush of hate. The author doesn't "bash" the people in the religion. He does give honest account of his own life and the truth about the Watchtower
February 7, 2017
FYI a lot of the one star reviews appeared suspiciously suddenly after release, I imagine most if not all are JWs who are offended - ignore.
This is the first book I've read about the JWs faith, which I was brought up in and left in 2002. We start with the author's own upbringing, and the events which led him from being a Bethelite and elder (high tier JW) to leaving. We then take a trip back in time to when and how the JWS were founded by Charles Taze Russell in the 1800s and through to the organisation they have become today, via a lot of deeply nasty or just plain bizarre scandal, most of which I actually wasn't aware of at all - for instance, demands to Hitler which backfired quite spectacularly on JWs at the time, the genocide in Malawi which could have been avoided if only JWs there had been given the same leniency as JWs in Mexico, the organisation being a member of the UN (repeatedly denounced in its literature), deaths due to blood transfusions, the disfellowshipping (or excommunicating) of a member of the governing body in the 80s and perhaps worst of all the child sex abuse cases which are only just now beginning to come to light (thanks to advice to treat it like a sin rather than a crime for which two other witnesses must be present for the elders to take further or even consider reporting.) He's done a fantastic job of keeping track of doctrinal changes which while sometimes tedious (607BC, yawn) are in fact key to the JW faith. We then close with the author's current situation and thoughts on religion in general and the JWs in particular.
As an ex JW I very much enjoyed it, and certainly learned a lot about the religion I was brought up in which I previously had no clue about whatsoever. I also very much admired the author's determination to be fair and evidence based - everything has been meticulously researched and sources either cited or printed as part of the appendices, and he doesn't come across as bitter or angry.
I also very much admired his very obvious desire to be as accessible to everyone as possible. In this I'm not sure how successful he was or to be fair if it is even really possible. This book is of obvious interest to anyone who's been out a while or is considering leaving, but it's pretty giant and I'm not sure that anyone without any links to the religion would want to pick it up as it's not a light read in any sense. I did however very much admire his attempts to draw in any potential active Witnesses who might somehow pick it up - not only are there boxes addressed specifically to such individuals throughout, but the format and even the font are very reminiscent of Watchtower publications.
Well worth a read to anyone with links to or interest in the JWs.
This is the first book I've read about the JWs faith, which I was brought up in and left in 2002. We start with the author's own upbringing, and the events which led him from being a Bethelite and elder (high tier JW) to leaving. We then take a trip back in time to when and how the JWS were founded by Charles Taze Russell in the 1800s and through to the organisation they have become today, via a lot of deeply nasty or just plain bizarre scandal, most of which I actually wasn't aware of at all - for instance, demands to Hitler which backfired quite spectacularly on JWs at the time, the genocide in Malawi which could have been avoided if only JWs there had been given the same leniency as JWs in Mexico, the organisation being a member of the UN (repeatedly denounced in its literature), deaths due to blood transfusions, the disfellowshipping (or excommunicating) of a member of the governing body in the 80s and perhaps worst of all the child sex abuse cases which are only just now beginning to come to light (thanks to advice to treat it like a sin rather than a crime for which two other witnesses must be present for the elders to take further or even consider reporting.) He's done a fantastic job of keeping track of doctrinal changes which while sometimes tedious (607BC, yawn) are in fact key to the JW faith. We then close with the author's current situation and thoughts on religion in general and the JWs in particular.
As an ex JW I very much enjoyed it, and certainly learned a lot about the religion I was brought up in which I previously had no clue about whatsoever. I also very much admired the author's determination to be fair and evidence based - everything has been meticulously researched and sources either cited or printed as part of the appendices, and he doesn't come across as bitter or angry.
I also very much admired his very obvious desire to be as accessible to everyone as possible. In this I'm not sure how successful he was or to be fair if it is even really possible. This book is of obvious interest to anyone who's been out a while or is considering leaving, but it's pretty giant and I'm not sure that anyone without any links to the religion would want to pick it up as it's not a light read in any sense. I did however very much admire his attempts to draw in any potential active Witnesses who might somehow pick it up - not only are there boxes addressed specifically to such individuals throughout, but the format and even the font are very reminiscent of Watchtower publications.
Well worth a read to anyone with links to or interest in the JWs.
June 11, 2019
First thing I do when starting a new book is check out the reviews. This book had so many one star reviews and I thought that maybe they were from JW's unhappy about the book and just wanted to slam it with negative reviews. However after reading it I have to kind of agree with the general consensus of these review's. This 800 page read had so much unnecessary information in it that I'm not even sure how the publisher managed to make it though without falling sleep. A brief history about how JW started would have been enough, a brief insight into their scandals and policies would have been awesome, and more about the author self discovery would have just been the icing on the cake but instead this book was so full of information that went in so many directions my brain exploded.
March 14, 2022
This is a hideous book. Particularly with the recent revelations that the author was using proceeds from the sales of this book along with Patreon donation money and YouTube revenue to feed his sex addictions with hiring sex workers and cheating on his wife in the process. This makes it all the more unbearable when you see how the author brings his wife into his story, goes on about his love and respect for her and seemingly brushes over his indiscretions back in 2008.
The author is compromised. Many sections deal with the subject of CSA (Child Sex Abuse) allegations and Lloyd Evans is the person you want advocating for these issues being that he described not having "mastery of my penis" on his own livestream and an inability to control himself due to a sex addiction. Also travelling to Thailand for sex workers, where an estimated 40% are either trafficked or underage.
I gave a review when I first bought the book. It was neutral as I found the book to be tiresome and boring. Now I have discovered my review has been deleted. Quit covering for this man and let people judge his book accordingly.
The author is compromised. Many sections deal with the subject of CSA (Child Sex Abuse) allegations and Lloyd Evans is the person you want advocating for these issues being that he described not having "mastery of my penis" on his own livestream and an inability to control himself due to a sex addiction. Also travelling to Thailand for sex workers, where an estimated 40% are either trafficked or underage.
I gave a review when I first bought the book. It was neutral as I found the book to be tiresome and boring. Now I have discovered my review has been deleted. Quit covering for this man and let people judge his book accordingly.
July 19, 2021
DNF'D at 46%
I love Lloyd and his YouTube channel but this book was not it. The beginning was super interesting and I enjoyed it, learning about someone's back story with the JW's and finding out how they woke up is what interests me (something I relate too is what I want), but the whole back story of JW's was super dry and I literally fell asleep multiple times while trying to get through it.
Being an activist and apostate myself, I already know all of the inner workings of the cult so it felt super repetitive, but if you're not an ex JW or are pimo I highly recommend giving it a go (check out the YouTube channel first though)
I love Lloyd and his YouTube channel but this book was not it. The beginning was super interesting and I enjoyed it, learning about someone's back story with the JW's and finding out how they woke up is what interests me (something I relate too is what I want), but the whole back story of JW's was super dry and I literally fell asleep multiple times while trying to get through it.
Being an activist and apostate myself, I already know all of the inner workings of the cult so it felt super repetitive, but if you're not an ex JW or are pimo I highly recommend giving it a go (check out the YouTube channel first though)
February 16, 2018
very offensive to non- witnesses
I can understand why he left the witnesses, however to say in the last chapter that ALL of Christianity is a cult is an insult to those of us Christians who are non-Witnesses. just because he had a bad experience in a cult, doesnt mean we are ALL cults.
I can understand why he left the witnesses, however to say in the last chapter that ALL of Christianity is a cult is an insult to those of us Christians who are non-Witnesses. just because he had a bad experience in a cult, doesnt mean we are ALL cults.
March 17, 2022
Pay special attention to Lloyd's passages about his sexual frustrations as they should make for an interesting epilogue should the writer decided to update this book, unlikely as it is. This book was so boring and long I can't even begin to describe what bothered me the most about it. It was quite amateurish with these annoying footnotes snaking round the margins of the subsequent page and referring to information already covered or information to be covered. That is not a good utilisation of footnotes. Otherwise the book was bland and uninteresting. Cool it about the damn Christmas tree and how Lloyd was humping it!
February 10, 2017
Excellent. A thoroughly enjoyable read. As a former JW (40+years) I can say it speaks entirely to my experience in the organization--the constant fear, the anxiety and guilt of a highly coercive religion--nothing less than a Doomsday cult.How incredibly validating to hear others who have lived it, escaped it, and have gone on to create a much better life. Everything is better outside WTS. Evans also puts the organization in historical and religious context, which is enlightening as well, making it a compelling read for those who have never been JW.
April 1, 2020
The book was definitely about the authors experiences, it may have helped to give the background more.. I grew up in the same religion, while I knew people that have went thru these painful situation, but I just felt like the way it was written was more to sell book then to give hope to people going thru these experiences.
March 22, 2022
I had this on my digital shelf for some time. People who I knew in the former Jehovah's Witnesses community told me it was a "must-have" in the same vein as Ray Franz's "Crisis of Conscience". I had my doubts but myself promised I would get to it in time. First of all it is not really a page turner so to speak. I think I got half-way through Lloyd's bio until I put it down and had enough.
Fast forward to last month when all hell broke loose around this guy. He was doing a livestream on YouTube to rebut allegations of using donated funds to see sex workers. I was stunned by this and thought he was being viciously smeared by a jilted former co-worker.
The Lloyd proceeded to confirm nearly everything that was alleged and still played the victim. He even blamed his audience, saying they were as sick as him for wanting to watch his confession.
So I picked the book back up, and sure enough there was plenty about his sexual repression. I did not know that he was unfaithful to his wife back in 2008 and this led to him being removed as an elder. (Note: Though Lloyd stated in the book that he resigned as one, you can't resign by stuffing a note under someone's door. He was only trying to beat them to it by resigning first). This story is just insane and it managed to be pedestrian and puerile at the same time.
Keep this one on your shelf. Evans can make videos and write a blog, but this book is a jumbled mess.
Fast forward to last month when all hell broke loose around this guy. He was doing a livestream on YouTube to rebut allegations of using donated funds to see sex workers. I was stunned by this and thought he was being viciously smeared by a jilted former co-worker.
The Lloyd proceeded to confirm nearly everything that was alleged and still played the victim. He even blamed his audience, saying they were as sick as him for wanting to watch his confession.
So I picked the book back up, and sure enough there was plenty about his sexual repression. I did not know that he was unfaithful to his wife back in 2008 and this led to him being removed as an elder. (Note: Though Lloyd stated in the book that he resigned as one, you can't resign by stuffing a note under someone's door. He was only trying to beat them to it by resigning first). This story is just insane and it managed to be pedestrian and puerile at the same time.
Keep this one on your shelf. Evans can make videos and write a blog, but this book is a jumbled mess.
April 4, 2022
Third generation Jehovah's Witness here. The last two years I was PIMO (Physically In, Mentally Out). Just two months ago I finally discontinued meeting attendance and field service. Since that time, I've been conducting my own research into this religion with mixed results. Many books were recommended to me online in the various support groups I frequented. Crisis of Conscience was a must-read, but Franz still had his own brand of Christianity to sell. That's when Evans's book was broached. I watched a few videos of his in the past but was never really interested in his presentation of the material.
In mid-January I purchased this book as it came highly-recommended.
I typically read books in a week's time, so I gave myself about 2 in order to tackle the length of this one. I have to say, I couldn't read past the 4th chapter. The writer's personal bio is bland and typical of an average JW. I was expecting something different due to this bloke's prominence in exJW circles and content. He did seem to dwell a lot on his mum passing though he couldn't bring himself to understand why his sister was hysterical when they found out mum's cancer was terminal. It was passages like these that led me to believe the writer had some emotional problems of his own that he had glossed over.
Where he had cheated and continually cheated on his wife with online contacts was troubling, though it always felt he was sanitising it somewhat for viewer consumption. I read over it without much interest and right round the time I finished this section, a huge stick of dynamite was lit in this community.
On 31 January Lloyd's former assistant spilt the beans about his trip to Thailand to frequent sex workers on donated funds. I didn't believe it and thought it was an attempt to smear him until Evans followed with a livestream which confirmed his assistant's claims. His defense was it wasn't anyone's business if he used donated funds and that they were his "wages".
With renewed interest, I finished the book. I can say this: It is a poorly written and edited book by someone who has no business releasing a memoir with all these skeletons. What else is he not telling people as he seemed perfectly content with cheating on his wife with sex workers? This man is a disgrace and thoroughly dishonest person. I wouldn't trust him if he read the weather report. One star and well deserved. Don't purchase this rubbish from a dirty, dishonest and disgusting man.
In mid-January I purchased this book as it came highly-recommended.
I typically read books in a week's time, so I gave myself about 2 in order to tackle the length of this one. I have to say, I couldn't read past the 4th chapter. The writer's personal bio is bland and typical of an average JW. I was expecting something different due to this bloke's prominence in exJW circles and content. He did seem to dwell a lot on his mum passing though he couldn't bring himself to understand why his sister was hysterical when they found out mum's cancer was terminal. It was passages like these that led me to believe the writer had some emotional problems of his own that he had glossed over.
Where he had cheated and continually cheated on his wife with online contacts was troubling, though it always felt he was sanitising it somewhat for viewer consumption. I read over it without much interest and right round the time I finished this section, a huge stick of dynamite was lit in this community.
On 31 January Lloyd's former assistant spilt the beans about his trip to Thailand to frequent sex workers on donated funds. I didn't believe it and thought it was an attempt to smear him until Evans followed with a livestream which confirmed his assistant's claims. His defense was it wasn't anyone's business if he used donated funds and that they were his "wages".
With renewed interest, I finished the book. I can say this: It is a poorly written and edited book by someone who has no business releasing a memoir with all these skeletons. What else is he not telling people as he seemed perfectly content with cheating on his wife with sex workers? This man is a disgrace and thoroughly dishonest person. I wouldn't trust him if he read the weather report. One star and well deserved. Don't purchase this rubbish from a dirty, dishonest and disgusting man.
April 5, 2022
Unreadable and the author comes across as a self-indulgent creep. What is contained in TRA is essentially an encyclopedia of JWs and their history peppered in with the author's personal experiences. In this digital age this information is better contained within a website complete with links giving supporting information. In TRA, Evans does diligently document his sources but unfortunately makes too much use of the concept of footnotes and they snake around to the subsequent page.
If TRA was all encyclopedia, I'd give it 2 stars or maybe even 3. As I implied earlier, this is in need of editing in a huge way. By the look and sound of it, it reads like it is a first draft. Evans goes into his personal life and how it really sucks to be him as if he was the only person to lose his mother to cancer. All the sexual blunders in his early life and well into his marriage are well documented and I wont go into them. However, one suggestion would be to publish a second edition, complete with an update at how the author continued to be unfaithful to his wife and donors by going on a sex vacation to Thailand right around Christmas. Left his wife and two children and stormed off because the wife changed her mind about agreeing to an open relationship!
Always the victim.
If TRA was all encyclopedia, I'd give it 2 stars or maybe even 3. As I implied earlier, this is in need of editing in a huge way. By the look and sound of it, it reads like it is a first draft. Evans goes into his personal life and how it really sucks to be him as if he was the only person to lose his mother to cancer. All the sexual blunders in his early life and well into his marriage are well documented and I wont go into them. However, one suggestion would be to publish a second edition, complete with an update at how the author continued to be unfaithful to his wife and donors by going on a sex vacation to Thailand right around Christmas. Left his wife and two children and stormed off because the wife changed her mind about agreeing to an open relationship!
Always the victim.
April 6, 2022
Lloyd can write a decent blog article or make a YouTube video, but writing a book is clearly not his forte. This book is way too long and easily loses the reader in its many tangents. His story can easily be told by many former Jehovah's Witnesses and there's nothing really about it that stands out. The author also is very condescending to the reader and treats them as they were children. I detected a lot of schoolteacher like mannerisms and logical patterns in his writing. Most of us here are not here to be taught; we just wish to listen to what the author has to say and how he interpreted his experience.
May 3, 2022
Alright, I am fed up. Twice now I have reviewed this book and I get accused of hating on Lloyd Evans or having some sort of agenda. Twice now the review has been deleted. What's going on, Goodreads? Are you really going to cower behind Evans's threats? Did you even bother to read this book, complete with details that are now coming to light in even more dramatic fashion?
Spoiler alert: Lloyd Evans has admitted to visiting sex workers for a period of up to 4 years for 2-3 months. His wife, so lovingly described in this book, was given an ultimatum to enter into an open marriage arrangement. She then backed out, Lloyd called her a "head-f*ck", had to be talked out of ditching her and the girls for the Christmas holiday and left for Thailand as soon as he could afterwards.
Meanwhile, his long-suffering wife was making calls and sending pics of Lloyd with sex workers to others in the former JW community. For their trouble Lloyd is now suing them.
Did anyone read what was in this book? If so, they would come back completely embarrassed. All the struggles with sexual repression as he puts it have deeper roots to them than he let on. This room reads like a dimestore Mein Kampf, and he blames the JWs for just about everything whilst it is clear he is a damaged individual who singlehandedly ended his marriage over these issues.
The book itself (as I related in my first two reviews!) is completely clueless at times and needs an editor in all the bad ways. Let's not even go into his plans for a second edition. If so I would like to think he's moved away from that at this point due to the revelations from this man.
The blueprint for this sad man's trail of destruction is all right there in this book for the reading if you dare. The cult of JWs is no laughing matter, but this guy in no way typifies how a typical exit goes.
Delete this review, whatever. The truth about this man is coming out whatever way you wish to spin it.
Spoiler alert: Lloyd Evans has admitted to visiting sex workers for a period of up to 4 years for 2-3 months. His wife, so lovingly described in this book, was given an ultimatum to enter into an open marriage arrangement. She then backed out, Lloyd called her a "head-f*ck", had to be talked out of ditching her and the girls for the Christmas holiday and left for Thailand as soon as he could afterwards.
Meanwhile, his long-suffering wife was making calls and sending pics of Lloyd with sex workers to others in the former JW community. For their trouble Lloyd is now suing them.
Did anyone read what was in this book? If so, they would come back completely embarrassed. All the struggles with sexual repression as he puts it have deeper roots to them than he let on. This room reads like a dimestore Mein Kampf, and he blames the JWs for just about everything whilst it is clear he is a damaged individual who singlehandedly ended his marriage over these issues.
The book itself (as I related in my first two reviews!) is completely clueless at times and needs an editor in all the bad ways. Let's not even go into his plans for a second edition. If so I would like to think he's moved away from that at this point due to the revelations from this man.
The blueprint for this sad man's trail of destruction is all right there in this book for the reading if you dare. The cult of JWs is no laughing matter, but this guy in no way typifies how a typical exit goes.
Delete this review, whatever. The truth about this man is coming out whatever way you wish to spin it.
March 12, 2021
Just to be clear, I absolutely love Lloyd Evans and his online activism. He played a huge role in awakening me from my indoctrination, and I finally feel free from the chains Watchtower had over me for so many years. I was so excited to read his book, but I'm feeling a bit disappointed. Some of the history was interesting, but just so dry and hard to get through. I liked the parts about his life and personal experiences, as well as the final part for Ryan's story. Otherwise the rest was all historical information and I felt like I was reading a text book. Also the majority of the information is all in his online videos, so if you're already a fan, you've already heard most of what he has to say, but it's just presented SO much better in his videos. If you're not a fan and don't know anything about him, this book does not give him any justice, and not a very good first impression. Please feel free to check out his videos on YouTube if you want to see what Lloyd Evans is really like.
Also a major pet peeve was not only the amount of foot notes, but they often went onto the next page, causing you to have to flip back and forth!
Also a major pet peeve was not only the amount of foot notes, but they often went onto the next page, causing you to have to flip back and forth!
February 25, 2017
In order to review a book like this, I feel it is important to start by identifying just what kind of an audience I am for this read, because for a read like this, the audience is everything.
Early in the book, Evans identifies two groups that are the intended audience for his tome: Interested outsiders seeking some insight into the Jehovah's Witness religion, and believers who might be tentatively seeking out external research on their faith. There is a third audience, however, that Evans does not directly acknowledge he is speaking to, but that is (I suspect) his biggest and most receptive audience: those who have tread in his footsteps before, who have put their religion on trial and found it wanting, and who have parted ways with the Jehovah's Witnesses.
I belong to this last category of readers. I received the book second-hand from someone who helped fund the IndieGoGo project to get the book into print. I approached it as someone who left the Witnesses due to loss of faith in God followed by loss of faith in the doctrines of the organization, which is rather backward from how most people go about it, but resulted in me not being as familiar with the gnarly depths of Witness history and doctrinal inconsistencies as might be other people in my position.
To Evans' credit, the book is exhaustively researched. This guy knows his history, he knows the doctrine, and he's not afraid to show it off. As a resource on the history of the Witnesses, and as an overview (and rebuttal) to some of their key doctrines and more shameful social shortfalls, this book is excellent. If you're looking for a light an fast read, though, this is probably not it. The exhaustive research occasionally spills over a bit into exhausting reading. He tends to go into more detail than seems merited on a number of cases, the footnotes often seem unnecessary, and several sections are very repetitive.
That being said, I really enjoyed his personal story of being in then getting out of the organization. His telling is so candid that reading it occasionally felt like voyeurism, though that is no fault. It was easy to cheer for Evans (and later his wife, along with several other folks whose stories are mentioned along the way) as they work their way through faith and doubt to a new start.
Where I feel this book misses its mark is in its attempt to address too many audiences. Evans admits in early chapters that addressing the two audiences he's aiming at will be a difficult task. A little too difficult, maybe.
As a book aimed at outsiders who want to learn more about Jehovah's Witnesses, I think the book works as a decent resource but might not be a rich read. The personal stories and philosophizing might detract from it as a simple reference work, as the personal narrative weaves (sometimes almost drunkenly) in and out of the researched material.
As a book aimed at "in" Witnesses who might be starting to explore outside resources, I think the book misses its mark more seriously. If Evans has one thing going besides good research, it is passion - passion for exposing the darker sides of this organization, and passion for helping other people come to the same conclusions. Unfortunately, I think his passion often feels a bit overbearing, even dipping into a tone that feels condescending in a few places. ("This stuff is so obviously true you're a fool if you don't also recognize it!") The "For Witnesses" boxes, meant to speak directly to this segment of his audience, often handles dearly-held tenants of faith abruptly and indelicately. Had I scanned one of those pages while still in myself, I would have slammed the book shut as exactly the kind of Apostate Lies the organization no doubt claims it to be.
All the same, I can't really fault Evans for this, because while I might read his tone as occasionally condescending, I don't think it is ever intentional. I think it is his passion leaking through as he tries to accomplish the nearly impossible task of appealing to those who are both deeply indoctrinated and terrifically skittish. Do I think some of those issues could have been handled more delicately? Yes. Do I know how to do it? Not yet.
But overall, I suspect this book could have benefitted from being two books: one about Evans' personal story, speaking only to "in" Witnesses, gently trying to lure them out and reassure them about their doubts by providing a reflection of their lives in his own; one about the detailed history, doctrine, doctrinal flip-flopping, and atrocious perpetrating of social injustice and human rights violations. I fear that trying to mesh the two together will make this a rocky read for either audience, and not effectively reach either the way he would like to.
If there's one thing this book accomplished for me, it was to get the wheels turning again. I've been out long enough now that I don't have to think about this stuff on a daily basis anymore. Evans brought (back) to my attention some of the greater societal implications of high-control religions (he does not shy away from calling them a cult) and what the responsibility of those who have gotten out might be toward those who are still in. I don't agree with every one of his conclusions (some of the lengths he goes to in the final chapter regarding how the government should regulate religions and how we all need to get on board with understanding that all religions are cults go a bit far for me), but I believe he is doing good work, contributing to resources that are going to save lives (both figuratively and literally), and I would not be ashamed to take a few pages out of THAT book.
Early in the book, Evans identifies two groups that are the intended audience for his tome: Interested outsiders seeking some insight into the Jehovah's Witness religion, and believers who might be tentatively seeking out external research on their faith. There is a third audience, however, that Evans does not directly acknowledge he is speaking to, but that is (I suspect) his biggest and most receptive audience: those who have tread in his footsteps before, who have put their religion on trial and found it wanting, and who have parted ways with the Jehovah's Witnesses.
I belong to this last category of readers. I received the book second-hand from someone who helped fund the IndieGoGo project to get the book into print. I approached it as someone who left the Witnesses due to loss of faith in God followed by loss of faith in the doctrines of the organization, which is rather backward from how most people go about it, but resulted in me not being as familiar with the gnarly depths of Witness history and doctrinal inconsistencies as might be other people in my position.
To Evans' credit, the book is exhaustively researched. This guy knows his history, he knows the doctrine, and he's not afraid to show it off. As a resource on the history of the Witnesses, and as an overview (and rebuttal) to some of their key doctrines and more shameful social shortfalls, this book is excellent. If you're looking for a light an fast read, though, this is probably not it. The exhaustive research occasionally spills over a bit into exhausting reading. He tends to go into more detail than seems merited on a number of cases, the footnotes often seem unnecessary, and several sections are very repetitive.
That being said, I really enjoyed his personal story of being in then getting out of the organization. His telling is so candid that reading it occasionally felt like voyeurism, though that is no fault. It was easy to cheer for Evans (and later his wife, along with several other folks whose stories are mentioned along the way) as they work their way through faith and doubt to a new start.
Where I feel this book misses its mark is in its attempt to address too many audiences. Evans admits in early chapters that addressing the two audiences he's aiming at will be a difficult task. A little too difficult, maybe.
As a book aimed at outsiders who want to learn more about Jehovah's Witnesses, I think the book works as a decent resource but might not be a rich read. The personal stories and philosophizing might detract from it as a simple reference work, as the personal narrative weaves (sometimes almost drunkenly) in and out of the researched material.
As a book aimed at "in" Witnesses who might be starting to explore outside resources, I think the book misses its mark more seriously. If Evans has one thing going besides good research, it is passion - passion for exposing the darker sides of this organization, and passion for helping other people come to the same conclusions. Unfortunately, I think his passion often feels a bit overbearing, even dipping into a tone that feels condescending in a few places. ("This stuff is so obviously true you're a fool if you don't also recognize it!") The "For Witnesses" boxes, meant to speak directly to this segment of his audience, often handles dearly-held tenants of faith abruptly and indelicately. Had I scanned one of those pages while still in myself, I would have slammed the book shut as exactly the kind of Apostate Lies the organization no doubt claims it to be.
All the same, I can't really fault Evans for this, because while I might read his tone as occasionally condescending, I don't think it is ever intentional. I think it is his passion leaking through as he tries to accomplish the nearly impossible task of appealing to those who are both deeply indoctrinated and terrifically skittish. Do I think some of those issues could have been handled more delicately? Yes. Do I know how to do it? Not yet.
But overall, I suspect this book could have benefitted from being two books: one about Evans' personal story, speaking only to "in" Witnesses, gently trying to lure them out and reassure them about their doubts by providing a reflection of their lives in his own; one about the detailed history, doctrine, doctrinal flip-flopping, and atrocious perpetrating of social injustice and human rights violations. I fear that trying to mesh the two together will make this a rocky read for either audience, and not effectively reach either the way he would like to.
If there's one thing this book accomplished for me, it was to get the wheels turning again. I've been out long enough now that I don't have to think about this stuff on a daily basis anymore. Evans brought (back) to my attention some of the greater societal implications of high-control religions (he does not shy away from calling them a cult) and what the responsibility of those who have gotten out might be toward those who are still in. I don't agree with every one of his conclusions (some of the lengths he goes to in the final chapter regarding how the government should regulate religions and how we all need to get on board with understanding that all religions are cults go a bit far for me), but I believe he is doing good work, contributing to resources that are going to save lives (both figuratively and literally), and I would not be ashamed to take a few pages out of THAT book.
May 6, 2022
Lloyd Evans is a total creep and d-bag. I actually have personal experience with him.
I am a CSA survivor, and was interviewed by him for the TTATT documentary. People had warned me to not get on his bad side and of personality flaws. Being just a few years out of the JW cult I was still in this mindset that people who were exJW activists = good. Not even close with this guy.
So we met with not only him but the film crew (they were kind and professional). Lloyd on the other hand was rather dull and only seemed to want to speak about things he felt were relevant, as well as his book. He asked me what I thought of it and the first thing I said was it was rather long and could have used some careful edits. This just threw him off and I could tell he was just miffed I had said that. Well he asked for the truth. He already had my information and backstory of child sex abuse within the religion, so there were prepared questions. As I was going into my story about what happened to me, I had noticed bizarre behaviour from him. He didn't look me direct in the eye as any person who interviews on camera should know. I felt he was checking me out. It made me uncomfortable and I had asked for a break. The producers of the film seemed to detect this and asked what was wrong. I told them but was reassured that Lloyd could be awkward in person and perhaps was uneasy himself in asking these questions.
Now I am rather clear on what had really happened. As it turned out, what everyone said about his was true. He got outted as using sex workers in a highly trafficked country (Thailand) all behind his wife's back. Oh and he was using donations given to him (he describes them as "his wages") to fund such activity. He's not sorry and has told everyone to f-off, including the producers of the TTATT project.
I feel violated by this man. I went back and read the more salacious things in this book that I had combed over originally out of boredom. Lloyd has treated women as prizes over the years and kept his cheating well into the marriage and even today. Please don't support this sick man by purchasing this book. Stand behind all the CSA survivors he has betrayed by his double life. He's just not fit to advocate for us and he doesn't want to take the hint and leave.
I'm not standing down or shutting up. Get this trash heap of a man out of here.
I am a CSA survivor, and was interviewed by him for the TTATT documentary. People had warned me to not get on his bad side and of personality flaws. Being just a few years out of the JW cult I was still in this mindset that people who were exJW activists = good. Not even close with this guy.
So we met with not only him but the film crew (they were kind and professional). Lloyd on the other hand was rather dull and only seemed to want to speak about things he felt were relevant, as well as his book. He asked me what I thought of it and the first thing I said was it was rather long and could have used some careful edits. This just threw him off and I could tell he was just miffed I had said that. Well he asked for the truth. He already had my information and backstory of child sex abuse within the religion, so there were prepared questions. As I was going into my story about what happened to me, I had noticed bizarre behaviour from him. He didn't look me direct in the eye as any person who interviews on camera should know. I felt he was checking me out. It made me uncomfortable and I had asked for a break. The producers of the film seemed to detect this and asked what was wrong. I told them but was reassured that Lloyd could be awkward in person and perhaps was uneasy himself in asking these questions.
Now I am rather clear on what had really happened. As it turned out, what everyone said about his was true. He got outted as using sex workers in a highly trafficked country (Thailand) all behind his wife's back. Oh and he was using donations given to him (he describes them as "his wages") to fund such activity. He's not sorry and has told everyone to f-off, including the producers of the TTATT project.
I feel violated by this man. I went back and read the more salacious things in this book that I had combed over originally out of boredom. Lloyd has treated women as prizes over the years and kept his cheating well into the marriage and even today. Please don't support this sick man by purchasing this book. Stand behind all the CSA survivors he has betrayed by his double life. He's just not fit to advocate for us and he doesn't want to take the hint and leave.
I'm not standing down or shutting up. Get this trash heap of a man out of here.
March 14, 2017
This is where my disclaimer always goes. Usually it says something like, I got this book from Netgalley, or the publisher sent it to me. However, this book needs a disclaimer that is a little more … involved . I was already a fan of this author’s YouTube channel, I am no stranger to the information in this book, and I am myself an ex-Jehovah’s Witness. That being said I guess I’m not exactly an impartial reviewer. However, I feel that what Mr. Evans has to say is of significant import and so it deserves an honest, forthright review. A loooong review. Here’s mine.
This book is of interest not just to fellow ex-JW’s (what we call ourselves), but also to those outside the faith. Maybe you have JW relatives. Maybe you pass a nice, smiling couple standing next to a literature cart on your way to work every day. Or perhaps, like most people, JW’s have come to your door in order to start a pleasant conversation with you about the bible. The Reluctant Apostate provides a comprehensive overview of the religion, it’s history and the issues surrounding it. There is a great deal of information in this book, and the author did extensive research into the facts presented. I’m impressed with the depth of understanding it displays. Even though I have spent 40 years As a JW, there are many facts about the religion that I have never known about. That is one of the problems.
Jehovah’s Witnesses are a cult. There I’ve said it. I know that Jehovah’s Witnesses do not fit the idea we all have in mind about what a cult is. I wrote a post not long ago about another book Combating Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan which goes into more information about the ways to identify a cult. Mind control is the way that a cult gets it’s fingers into you. I will list the 5 identifying marks of a cult, and give a brief overview of how Mr. Cedars shows that Jehovah’s Witnesses should be recognized as one.
Behavior – The lives of JW’s are highly controlled. Their dress and grooming, what jobs they perform, their entertainment, the amount of time they spend studying Witness publications and witnessing to outsiders is all highly controlled. And then there is about their prohibition of holidays and their stand on blood transfusions (JW’s cannot have one even if they may die).
Information – JW’s are not allowed to listen to any information about the Jehovah’s Witnesses unless it comes directly from Watchtower. This includes anything on the internet or from the news media. JW’s are not allowed to speak with people who have left the organization. You cannot even acknowledge that persons existence. Needless to say, lack of un-biased information is dangerous.
Thoughts – All thoughts are to be regulated. Doubts about the religion are not tolerated. You can be brought before a Judicial Committee and expelled from the congregation for holding a different opinion from the Governing Body who controls everything. If you voice that opinion then watch out!
Emotional – Guilt and fear figure mightily in this religion. No matter what you do in service of this religion, it is never, ever enough. JW’s are encouraged to spy and tattle on each other to the elders in the congregation for even minor offenses. JW’s are not allowed to speak with anyone who is expelled (disfellowshipped or disassociated), even if it is an immediate family member.
Lloyd’s book delves into the history of the religion, from it’s infancy in the mid to late 1800’s and the makeup of the men who founded it. The book tracks the development of it’s belief system as well as the source of it’s greatest perversions of faith. Including it’s inherent misogyny, it’s disgraceful refusal to address a serious problem with child molestation in it’s ranks, and using emotional blackmail to keep people in line by holding family members hostage to an publishing organization. I have to admit, seeing how these things came together over the years is fascinating to an outsider, and harrowing to anyone who has spent years inside. People have quite literally died in service to this organization. In the 1940’s Nazi Germany, in the 1970’s in Malawi, and in recent times due to the ban on blood. All of which is touched on in Mr. Evans book.
Leaving a cult is no easy thing. Mr. Evans details his own journey with painful honesty. You don’t just decide one day to do a thing like this. I woke up from my own indoctrination just a few months ago. It was a completely awful experience. Your mind tries so hard to force you back into your cocoon of indoctrination. The fight continues. I’m quite sure that no one ever really comes away from it without scars. I’m so much happier now, but it is an excruciatingly painful process. Thankfully, we have activists like Mr. Evans who is generous about his time, his compassion and his pain. He works to shed a light on the road, as we open our eyes and start to stumble out of the darkness. Because of this, and because of how much I’ve directly benefited from his activism, I cannot be a fully impartial reviewer of this book. But I can say read it. If you’re an outsider read it and wonder at how these things are possible. If you’re a JW, read it and weep, and then start living.
Bonus Link: Visit Lloyd Evan’s website, JW Survey for tons more information about Jehovah’s Witnesses and videos.
Song for this book: I Get Out by Lauryn Hill
This book is of interest not just to fellow ex-JW’s (what we call ourselves), but also to those outside the faith. Maybe you have JW relatives. Maybe you pass a nice, smiling couple standing next to a literature cart on your way to work every day. Or perhaps, like most people, JW’s have come to your door in order to start a pleasant conversation with you about the bible. The Reluctant Apostate provides a comprehensive overview of the religion, it’s history and the issues surrounding it. There is a great deal of information in this book, and the author did extensive research into the facts presented. I’m impressed with the depth of understanding it displays. Even though I have spent 40 years As a JW, there are many facts about the religion that I have never known about. That is one of the problems.
Jehovah’s Witnesses are a cult. There I’ve said it. I know that Jehovah’s Witnesses do not fit the idea we all have in mind about what a cult is. I wrote a post not long ago about another book Combating Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan which goes into more information about the ways to identify a cult. Mind control is the way that a cult gets it’s fingers into you. I will list the 5 identifying marks of a cult, and give a brief overview of how Mr. Cedars shows that Jehovah’s Witnesses should be recognized as one.
Behavior – The lives of JW’s are highly controlled. Their dress and grooming, what jobs they perform, their entertainment, the amount of time they spend studying Witness publications and witnessing to outsiders is all highly controlled. And then there is about their prohibition of holidays and their stand on blood transfusions (JW’s cannot have one even if they may die).
Information – JW’s are not allowed to listen to any information about the Jehovah’s Witnesses unless it comes directly from Watchtower. This includes anything on the internet or from the news media. JW’s are not allowed to speak with people who have left the organization. You cannot even acknowledge that persons existence. Needless to say, lack of un-biased information is dangerous.
Thoughts – All thoughts are to be regulated. Doubts about the religion are not tolerated. You can be brought before a Judicial Committee and expelled from the congregation for holding a different opinion from the Governing Body who controls everything. If you voice that opinion then watch out!
Emotional – Guilt and fear figure mightily in this religion. No matter what you do in service of this religion, it is never, ever enough. JW’s are encouraged to spy and tattle on each other to the elders in the congregation for even minor offenses. JW’s are not allowed to speak with anyone who is expelled (disfellowshipped or disassociated), even if it is an immediate family member.
Lloyd’s book delves into the history of the religion, from it’s infancy in the mid to late 1800’s and the makeup of the men who founded it. The book tracks the development of it’s belief system as well as the source of it’s greatest perversions of faith. Including it’s inherent misogyny, it’s disgraceful refusal to address a serious problem with child molestation in it’s ranks, and using emotional blackmail to keep people in line by holding family members hostage to an publishing organization. I have to admit, seeing how these things came together over the years is fascinating to an outsider, and harrowing to anyone who has spent years inside. People have quite literally died in service to this organization. In the 1940’s Nazi Germany, in the 1970’s in Malawi, and in recent times due to the ban on blood. All of which is touched on in Mr. Evans book.
Leaving a cult is no easy thing. Mr. Evans details his own journey with painful honesty. You don’t just decide one day to do a thing like this. I woke up from my own indoctrination just a few months ago. It was a completely awful experience. Your mind tries so hard to force you back into your cocoon of indoctrination. The fight continues. I’m quite sure that no one ever really comes away from it without scars. I’m so much happier now, but it is an excruciatingly painful process. Thankfully, we have activists like Mr. Evans who is generous about his time, his compassion and his pain. He works to shed a light on the road, as we open our eyes and start to stumble out of the darkness. Because of this, and because of how much I’ve directly benefited from his activism, I cannot be a fully impartial reviewer of this book. But I can say read it. If you’re an outsider read it and wonder at how these things are possible. If you’re a JW, read it and weep, and then start living.
Bonus Link: Visit Lloyd Evan’s website, JW Survey for tons more information about Jehovah’s Witnesses and videos.
Song for this book: I Get Out by Lauryn Hill
May 12, 2022
I got about 3/4ths of the way through and couldn't finish. It's like reading an encyclopedia in some places, and Evans' strange habits/theories and what amounts to a sex life take up the rest. It's a pity because I had once thought highly of the man and even shook his hand when he came to Poland. I thought the event went fine but afterwards I realised there was an undercurrent of displeasure with the man. His vows of poverty struck a chord with some as they were all too eager to extend him hospitality. Despite this, Evans seemed to want to do only two things, promote himself and his work and take a holiday.
In January of 2022, some incredible information about Lloyd Evans surfaced. He was using funds donated to him (activism is his only source of income) to spend on sex vacations in Thailand. He had earlier been caught with sex workers on a shared iCloud device by his wife, and his response was to immediately declare a desire for an open relationship instead of apologising to her. Initially showing some support for such an arrangement, she changed her mind and Evans got cross with her and expressed his desire to go to Thailand without his wife and children, painting himself as the victim. He called her a "head-f*ck" and only came back from Thailand when it was clear she was seeking a divorce.
Why would people wish to support such a man? Especially one who promotes himself as a charity and an activist who is out to help people? He can't help himself from abusing his own wife with these escapades and I shudder to think of his children and what he is putting them through.
As for the book, you are not missing much that already hasn't been discussed online in blogs, videos, and several other sources. It is not a good read at all.
In January of 2022, some incredible information about Lloyd Evans surfaced. He was using funds donated to him (activism is his only source of income) to spend on sex vacations in Thailand. He had earlier been caught with sex workers on a shared iCloud device by his wife, and his response was to immediately declare a desire for an open relationship instead of apologising to her. Initially showing some support for such an arrangement, she changed her mind and Evans got cross with her and expressed his desire to go to Thailand without his wife and children, painting himself as the victim. He called her a "head-f*ck" and only came back from Thailand when it was clear she was seeking a divorce.
Why would people wish to support such a man? Especially one who promotes himself as a charity and an activist who is out to help people? He can't help himself from abusing his own wife with these escapades and I shudder to think of his children and what he is putting them through.
As for the book, you are not missing much that already hasn't been discussed online in blogs, videos, and several other sources. It is not a good read at all.
May 13, 2022
Myself and my husband were Bethelites, first in Brooklyn and then in Patterson (the new HQ). About 3 or 4 years ago we had been seriously contemplating leaving. The problem was all of our support network was in New York. My extended family was in Puerto Rico and we realized this was the only way should we wish to leave. The hardships this would impose probably extended our stay for a couple more years but little over a year ago we made the break.
Lloyd Evans was one of the first names we had come across when searching for content about the JWs and their history. We also knew that several people in Bethel were risking everything by leaking information to him which he promptly made videos about. Curiosity got the best of me so I ordered two books sent to a secret PO Box I had rented. One was Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz, former Governing Body member. The other one was The Reluctant Apostate by former British elder, Lloyd Evans.
I started on Crisis of Conscience because I had heard it was the primary book for all doubting JWs. It did not disappoint and I had no clue all this was happening in our own little world at Bethel! The Reluctant Apostate was recommended kind of as a modern supplement to COC as it was printed in 2017.
Whereas I couldn't put Franz's book down and read it in less than a week, Evans's book was dull and often went on tangents that were unnecessary. It took me a month to get through it. A primary concern for me were his admissions to sexual misconduct and seemingly getting away with it. Instead of his wife heading for the door, he put it in a way that you knew he was manipulating her. For example, after finding his sexting activities, she wondered if she were good enough for him and he had to reassure her. Huh? From that passage alone I can tell who was the one controlling everyone in that marriage and later, family.
Well, just a few months after I had finished TRA (I left it in the Bethel trash heap as I didn't want to bring it with me) the true story behind TRA came out. Lloyd Evans has been taking in donations from former JW members and travelling the world to visit prostitutes among other things. The only reason I know about it is because his wife caught him and reported it to other former Witnesses. To mitigate the disaster, Evans went on a livestream inebriated and confessed to everything accused and even more, saying that his wife was sexually incompatible with him. What a thing to say about your wife on YouTube! So he was the victim because he got caught and has been digging his own hole ever since. He has initiated lawsuits against people who dared to speak out about the scandal. I thought we were to speak out against wrongdoing, Lloyd? Only don't when it is about you?
What a hypocrite. This man is in NO WAY fit to advocate for former Jehovah's Witnesses. He went to a highly sex trafficked country in the world and likely victimized someone all because his wife couldn't satisfy him.
This book is practically unreadable and the writer himself is disgusting. One star, I wish there were negative ones I could give him.
Lloyd Evans was one of the first names we had come across when searching for content about the JWs and their history. We also knew that several people in Bethel were risking everything by leaking information to him which he promptly made videos about. Curiosity got the best of me so I ordered two books sent to a secret PO Box I had rented. One was Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz, former Governing Body member. The other one was The Reluctant Apostate by former British elder, Lloyd Evans.
I started on Crisis of Conscience because I had heard it was the primary book for all doubting JWs. It did not disappoint and I had no clue all this was happening in our own little world at Bethel! The Reluctant Apostate was recommended kind of as a modern supplement to COC as it was printed in 2017.
Whereas I couldn't put Franz's book down and read it in less than a week, Evans's book was dull and often went on tangents that were unnecessary. It took me a month to get through it. A primary concern for me were his admissions to sexual misconduct and seemingly getting away with it. Instead of his wife heading for the door, he put it in a way that you knew he was manipulating her. For example, after finding his sexting activities, she wondered if she were good enough for him and he had to reassure her. Huh? From that passage alone I can tell who was the one controlling everyone in that marriage and later, family.
Well, just a few months after I had finished TRA (I left it in the Bethel trash heap as I didn't want to bring it with me) the true story behind TRA came out. Lloyd Evans has been taking in donations from former JW members and travelling the world to visit prostitutes among other things. The only reason I know about it is because his wife caught him and reported it to other former Witnesses. To mitigate the disaster, Evans went on a livestream inebriated and confessed to everything accused and even more, saying that his wife was sexually incompatible with him. What a thing to say about your wife on YouTube! So he was the victim because he got caught and has been digging his own hole ever since. He has initiated lawsuits against people who dared to speak out about the scandal. I thought we were to speak out against wrongdoing, Lloyd? Only don't when it is about you?
What a hypocrite. This man is in NO WAY fit to advocate for former Jehovah's Witnesses. He went to a highly sex trafficked country in the world and likely victimized someone all because his wife couldn't satisfy him.
This book is practically unreadable and the writer himself is disgusting. One star, I wish there were negative ones I could give him.
February 23, 2018
Well written and unbiased analysis of the flawed Watchtower cult. Lloyd presents the information in-depth and provides his own experiences as a pioneer and elder. It's heartbreaking to read at times, especially the parts about child sexual abuse and how his own family refuses to speak to him because he no longer believes that this religion has the "truth". Highly recommend this book as well as his YouTube channel called "John Cedars".
-- edited to add below:
I just read some of the 1 star reviews for this book. I don't believe that most of them actually read it. The beginning of the book does describe the author's personal experience with the religion, which I think was important for him to include. He was born into the cult, baptized at a very young age (10 years old if I remember correctly) and did his best to be an exemplary JW. He explains many points of the Watchtower doctorine in great detail and gives examples of others who have suffered because of the JWs. Yes, some of the information can be found in the book Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz, but it is out of print. Overall, I think it is one of the most objective books you will find on the JWs out there.
-- edited to add below:
I just read some of the 1 star reviews for this book. I don't believe that most of them actually read it. The beginning of the book does describe the author's personal experience with the religion, which I think was important for him to include. He was born into the cult, baptized at a very young age (10 years old if I remember correctly) and did his best to be an exemplary JW. He explains many points of the Watchtower doctorine in great detail and gives examples of others who have suffered because of the JWs. Yes, some of the information can be found in the book Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz, but it is out of print. Overall, I think it is one of the most objective books you will find on the JWs out there.
February 26, 2017
It is an intriguing and fascinating look into the dichotomies and the cognitive dissonance that plagues this oft-misunderstood cult of Christianity. I can appreciate Lloyd's candor and honesty in revealing his own shortcomings, but as most ex-JW's can attest, the path leading out of the cult looks very different from person to person. Lloyd recognizes that, and devotes a portion in each chapter to raising thought-provoking questions for current Witnesses, using their metalanguage and an awareness brought by his own years of heavy JW indoctrination. Overall, I was very pleased with this book, and thank Lloyd for his activism efforts in helping both JW's and non-JW's in understanding the perils of mind control by a religious sect.
May 25, 2022
Hard to read! Not interesting! This man Lloyd Evans only tell some of story not all! When write this book, he crowdfund $20,000 and go on tours, people buy him hotels and restaurant meals always say he and family are poor. In December he leave wife and girls and go to Thailand for sex, insisting wife knew about and approve! He lies to supporters and people who buy book by saying he was seeing therapist. Liar! The therapist in Thailand? He uses donated funds for prostitutes and then lies to people faces when get back, saying he will sue everyone!
Don't read this book, it boring. He tell of many tales of trying to get with women but he fail. Now he still trying to get with women by prostitutes, online dating, massage parlours, meeting with former JWs all because he seek gratification.
Everything in this book (important information about JW!) is in Franz's book. This is a sick copy of it and talks a lot about personal life. This man is sick and deluded and has lost much support over this book and in online activities. Cannot represent sex abuse victims when he goes to highly exploited sex trade country!
Don't read this book, it boring. He tell of many tales of trying to get with women but he fail. Now he still trying to get with women by prostitutes, online dating, massage parlours, meeting with former JWs all because he seek gratification.
Everything in this book (important information about JW!) is in Franz's book. This is a sick copy of it and talks a lot about personal life. This man is sick and deluded and has lost much support over this book and in online activities. Cannot represent sex abuse victims when he goes to highly exploited sex trade country!
May 27, 2022
Full Disclosure: I was a die-hard supporter of Evans, his channel and his causes. I was also a top-tier Patron of his and have donated money personally to him in the past. When the Croatian earthquake occurred, Evans' home was slightly damaged and they stayed at a hotel on the Croatian coast. PayPal donations were made to him for this of which I was one. It was supposed to have been critical for him, but I found out later from his tweets that he had made a holiday out of it and was looking to fund more money in order to relocate to a residence on the coast. That will never happen again. You live and you learn.
I was always warned by people away from this man. He had a strong cult following and followers who would quickly drown out any dissent. I regret the part I played in all this. We all felt it was for the better good, despite Evans' prickly personality, condescension and questionable past. Looking back I feel I had been duped and swindled due to my vulnerability as a newly exited JW cult member. Evans knows how to use this effectively and many have been drawn in by his leadership.
One such leadership quality he took upon himself was his petition to add himself as a Core Participant to the British IICSA inquiry on CSA abuse. Many trusted in him and felt he was the best qualified for this. We were all wrong. Dead wrong.
Fast forward to 31 January where after a former colleague made a Reddit post about his activities, which included infidelity, use of sex workers in Thailand, and misuse of donated funds (Evans' only revenue stream is from ex JW activism, chiefly donations), Lloyd went on a drunken livestream and admitted to just about everything alleged. Then he chastises the crowd, many of whom were huge supporters, saying we were as messed up as he was for watching that. No, we were concerned as to what exactly we were funding - a common point Evans himself makes about Watchtower! We were also concerned that a man who sought out sex workers in an unregulated and highly abusive market such as Thailand was a poor fit and completely compromised advocate. But he attacked everyone and insists that the money keeps flowing in.
In TRA, Evans relates several things about his early sex life that little did we know at the time had a huge effect on how he handles himself today. He continues to lie to his wife about his cyber dates as he related in his book. In fact, he never stopped. The signs were there. How can we all be this gullible?
Even as an Evans supporter, I never did like this book. It seemed self-indulgent and heavily relied on information about the WT that other activists had already blazed the trail for. Evans was only an elder for a year and an MTS School graduate, which hardly qualifies as anything high up to know the dirty secrets any more than a rank and file member would already know. The writing style is dull and frequently loses the reader. The use of footnotes and how they extended onto the second page really indicated to me that this was the work of an amateur.
This man is heavily compromised, thus the information in his book is practically worthless as the source is not to be trusted. I'm moving on from Evans and his work as many have already done.
I was always warned by people away from this man. He had a strong cult following and followers who would quickly drown out any dissent. I regret the part I played in all this. We all felt it was for the better good, despite Evans' prickly personality, condescension and questionable past. Looking back I feel I had been duped and swindled due to my vulnerability as a newly exited JW cult member. Evans knows how to use this effectively and many have been drawn in by his leadership.
One such leadership quality he took upon himself was his petition to add himself as a Core Participant to the British IICSA inquiry on CSA abuse. Many trusted in him and felt he was the best qualified for this. We were all wrong. Dead wrong.
Fast forward to 31 January where after a former colleague made a Reddit post about his activities, which included infidelity, use of sex workers in Thailand, and misuse of donated funds (Evans' only revenue stream is from ex JW activism, chiefly donations), Lloyd went on a drunken livestream and admitted to just about everything alleged. Then he chastises the crowd, many of whom were huge supporters, saying we were as messed up as he was for watching that. No, we were concerned as to what exactly we were funding - a common point Evans himself makes about Watchtower! We were also concerned that a man who sought out sex workers in an unregulated and highly abusive market such as Thailand was a poor fit and completely compromised advocate. But he attacked everyone and insists that the money keeps flowing in.
In TRA, Evans relates several things about his early sex life that little did we know at the time had a huge effect on how he handles himself today. He continues to lie to his wife about his cyber dates as he related in his book. In fact, he never stopped. The signs were there. How can we all be this gullible?
Even as an Evans supporter, I never did like this book. It seemed self-indulgent and heavily relied on information about the WT that other activists had already blazed the trail for. Evans was only an elder for a year and an MTS School graduate, which hardly qualifies as anything high up to know the dirty secrets any more than a rank and file member would already know. The writing style is dull and frequently loses the reader. The use of footnotes and how they extended onto the second page really indicated to me that this was the work of an amateur.
This man is heavily compromised, thus the information in his book is practically worthless as the source is not to be trusted. I'm moving on from Evans and his work as many have already done.
July 3, 2020
Yes, this book is too long, and I skipped the entire middle section, but the memoir parts of it were really interesting. I had a friend in high school that was a JW, and I this has given me some insight into what her life was probably like. All the whiny 1 star reviews seem overly critical and harsh... It's not great, but it definitely isn't that bad. Then again, I'm an atheist, so I'm not offended by him calling religions cults and pointing out the hypocrisy that is so rampant in many of them, which seems to be a problem for many of the reviewers.
July 2, 2023
I am an ex Jw and have been for many years. I have read many books from former JW's and this one was not good in my opinion.
I found it rather unfair to his wife to expose what he had done to her, cheating through cybersexting and being hauled up in front of a judicial committee which exposed his wife and the shame that comes with it. Not only that but the way he went about getting her in the first place as some sort of trophy. Women are not objects - they are human beings and should be treated with respect.
March 10, 2017
The Reluctant Apostate is a substantive, fresh and very readable addition to the genre of Watchtower/Jehovah’s Witnesses critique. One frustration that I have had is the quality level of many of the books in this area. Ex-JWs, like other escapees from very controlling groups, are often still dealing with serious issues that can undermine skill and judgement, so sometimes the books are uneven or strangely biased. Some of the books focus on horrific experiences, particularly in the areas of shunning and abuse, others do a more doctrinal or policy/ practice critique. This book doesn’t quite sit in either set, but instead interweaves a personal narrative with background history, policies, practices, and issues. I put it on my top shelf, with the likes of Captives of a Concept, Visions of Glory, Awakening of a Jehovah's Witness, The Truth Book, Jehovah Lives in Brooklyn and Crisis of Conscience.
What I love most about Reluctant Apostate is the fresh, even-handed voice of the narrator. It is an accessible book, even for current Jehovah's Witnesses who are an objectively under-educated population (according to Pew Research). Among other things, it gently highlights some forms of toxic and/or problematic thinking that are operational within the group, and models at least a few of the healthier alternatives.
I give this book a high 4 rating. The Reluctant Apostate is a great resource, but it is not without some minor flaws. It is a good read and it went quickly because the content is engaging, but the book is too bulky and may present too onerous a prospect for those who might benefit most from reading it. The production quality is excellent for the most part, especially for a self-published book. The paper and binding are of high quality, for example. However, if it were to be republished in a future edition, a good publisher’s editor might 1) tighten up the few sections where the history of historical personalities affecting policy did drag just a bit), 2) ensure that all sources were appropriately footnoted in the main text, 3) reduce the font size and single-space quoted paragraphs, and 3) resize and clean up a couple of the exhibits in the appendix.
The refreshingly honest self-revealing bits of the book may be uncomfortable reading for those who only frame their understanding within binary oppositions such as hero/villain or hero/victim, but I think it shows that the psychological path of self-development in this kind of context is almost always fairly difficult and complicated. His journey is not without some strife or learning hurdles. However, the weight of the narrative voice is human and welcoming. Lloyd Evans is forthcoming without being fanatical about his perspective and does not try to speak too much or too authoritatively for the experiences of others.
As someone who very much enjoys the author’s video channel on YouTube, I have been looking forward to this book's publication (full disclosure: I did donate a little bit toward the funding, but this review was not solicited by the author or by anyone else). The book is much as I hoped that it would be, and I look forward to further projects that carry his friendly signature greeting: "Hello there!"
What I love most about Reluctant Apostate is the fresh, even-handed voice of the narrator. It is an accessible book, even for current Jehovah's Witnesses who are an objectively under-educated population (according to Pew Research). Among other things, it gently highlights some forms of toxic and/or problematic thinking that are operational within the group, and models at least a few of the healthier alternatives.
I give this book a high 4 rating. The Reluctant Apostate is a great resource, but it is not without some minor flaws. It is a good read and it went quickly because the content is engaging, but the book is too bulky and may present too onerous a prospect for those who might benefit most from reading it. The production quality is excellent for the most part, especially for a self-published book. The paper and binding are of high quality, for example. However, if it were to be republished in a future edition, a good publisher’s editor might 1) tighten up the few sections where the history of historical personalities affecting policy did drag just a bit), 2) ensure that all sources were appropriately footnoted in the main text, 3) reduce the font size and single-space quoted paragraphs, and 3) resize and clean up a couple of the exhibits in the appendix.
The refreshingly honest self-revealing bits of the book may be uncomfortable reading for those who only frame their understanding within binary oppositions such as hero/villain or hero/victim, but I think it shows that the psychological path of self-development in this kind of context is almost always fairly difficult and complicated. His journey is not without some strife or learning hurdles. However, the weight of the narrative voice is human and welcoming. Lloyd Evans is forthcoming without being fanatical about his perspective and does not try to speak too much or too authoritatively for the experiences of others.
As someone who very much enjoys the author’s video channel on YouTube, I have been looking forward to this book's publication (full disclosure: I did donate a little bit toward the funding, but this review was not solicited by the author or by anyone else). The book is much as I hoped that it would be, and I look forward to further projects that carry his friendly signature greeting: "Hello there!"
June 5, 2018
Eye opening
When I left the organization there was no place to turn for support. The years I spent suffering from guilt,fear and lack of a relationship with my parents I wish for no one to go through. I am so happy to see activist reaching across that bridge that Lloyd talks about. I hope this keeps many future children from being raised by an org. that Teaches fear of the god that the org has chosen to worship. Children should not be afraid that Mommy would let them die if they needed a blood transfusion or losing a parent who needs one. I still have nightmares about armageddon and being thrown into the abyss for doing something that jehova hates. I now know that most of the things I was taught are not biblical (not that the bible is valid in my belief now) but by a group of ego driven men in New York who say they are gods voice to the flock. Thank you Lloyd for having the talent to put into words what many of us ex-jw's feel.
When I left the organization there was no place to turn for support. The years I spent suffering from guilt,fear and lack of a relationship with my parents I wish for no one to go through. I am so happy to see activist reaching across that bridge that Lloyd talks about. I hope this keeps many future children from being raised by an org. that Teaches fear of the god that the org has chosen to worship. Children should not be afraid that Mommy would let them die if they needed a blood transfusion or losing a parent who needs one. I still have nightmares about armageddon and being thrown into the abyss for doing something that jehova hates. I now know that most of the things I was taught are not biblical (not that the bible is valid in my belief now) but by a group of ego driven men in New York who say they are gods voice to the flock. Thank you Lloyd for having the talent to put into words what many of us ex-jw's feel.
June 4, 2017
A wealth of detailed information. Even though he tries to segment the stuff for watchtower people he still goes into too much detail sometimes even for gentiles. I appreciate the quality of his research. It felt very much like an academic read I'd recommend to anyone studying religions.
July 20, 2024
I reject magic, mysticisms, and non-demonstrable truths from authority without foundations and all non-falsifiable assertions. The experiences of those who enter the weird and find their way out makes for a good story. Lloyd tells his story and a good story based on personnel experiences is more persuasive at edifying than generalities about theological, historical inconsistencies or not allowing blood transfusions can be. Lloyd bores in this book when he tells the generalities, but he is spot-on when he tells his own story. JWs are scary dangerous, but the scariness comes through when Lloyd tells his wife’s and his personnel story.
JWs are a cult and as with all religions necessitates magic being real and with feelings and outside authority as a guide for Truth. The how of why somebody belongs to such a dangerous worldview and remains in it makes for good story telling. Lloyd tells his story well.
The interesting part of the book were Evans’ experience within the mind control system he was part of. About 2/3 of the book was about how crazy JWs are and were the least interesting part of the book.
Evan’s story itself is the heart of the book and makes that part of the book an interesting read. I already know JWs are nuts, but the more interesting story is how somebody remains in that crazy worldview and how they finally breakout. Evan’s makes the incredibly interesting point his main waking-up to reality came when he moved to Croatia and his weekly Witness Hall indoctrination meetings weren’t coming through to brainwash him, he was able to break free from the indoctrination when the non-sense wasn’t getting forced upon him.
As with all good biographies (and memoirs) the secondary character becomes more interesting than the protagonist. For this story, his wife and her tribulations became as focal to the story as Llyod’s story. That’s a compliment to the author and he was wise enough to tell his story that way.
This book is free on Kindle Unlimited. Lloyd and his wife’s story make for a very good story. My only complaint is I didn’t need JW nuttery that didn’t have to do with Lloyd and his wife’s experiences. I’ve already read the general JW stuff elsewhere.
JWs are a cult and as with all religions necessitates magic being real and with feelings and outside authority as a guide for Truth. The how of why somebody belongs to such a dangerous worldview and remains in it makes for good story telling. Lloyd tells his story well.
The interesting part of the book were Evans’ experience within the mind control system he was part of. About 2/3 of the book was about how crazy JWs are and were the least interesting part of the book.
Evan’s story itself is the heart of the book and makes that part of the book an interesting read. I already know JWs are nuts, but the more interesting story is how somebody remains in that crazy worldview and how they finally breakout. Evan’s makes the incredibly interesting point his main waking-up to reality came when he moved to Croatia and his weekly Witness Hall indoctrination meetings weren’t coming through to brainwash him, he was able to break free from the indoctrination when the non-sense wasn’t getting forced upon him.
As with all good biographies (and memoirs) the secondary character becomes more interesting than the protagonist. For this story, his wife and her tribulations became as focal to the story as Llyod’s story. That’s a compliment to the author and he was wise enough to tell his story that way.
This book is free on Kindle Unlimited. Lloyd and his wife’s story make for a very good story. My only complaint is I didn’t need JW nuttery that didn’t have to do with Lloyd and his wife’s experiences. I’ve already read the general JW stuff elsewhere.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 79 reviews