Building a Bridge: How the Catholic Church and the LGBT Community Can Enter into a Relationship of Respect, Compassion, and Sensitivity

by James Martin

The New York Times bestselling author of The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything and Jesus: A Pilgrimage turns his attention to the relationship between LGBT Catholics and the Church in this loving, inclusive, and revolutionary book.

On the day after the Orlando nightclub shooting, James Martin S.J. posted a video on Facebook in which he called for solidarity with our LGBT brothers and sisters. "The largest mass shooting in US history took place at a gay club and the LGBT community has been profoundly affected," he began. He then implored his fellow Catholics—and people everywhere—to "stand not only with the people of Orlando but also with their LGBT brothers and sisters." A powerful call for tolerance, acceptance, and support—and a reminder of Jesus' message for us to love one another—Father Martin's post went viral and was viewed more than 1.6 million times.

Now, Martin expands on his reflections in this moving and inspiring book, offering a powerful, loving, and much-needed voice in a time marked by anger, prejudice, and divisiveness. Adapted from an address he gave to New Ways Ministry, a group that ministers to and advocates for LGBT Catholics, Building a Bridge provides a roadmap for repairing and strengthening the bonds that unite all of us as God's children. Martin uses the image of a two-way bridge to enable LGBT Catholics and the Church to come together in a call to end the "us" versus "them" mentality. Turning to the Catechism, he draws on the three criteria at the heart of the Christian ministry—"respect, compassion, and sensitivity"—as a model for how the Catholic Church should relate to the LGBT community.

Genres: Religion, Nonfiction, LGBT, Theology, Catholic, Spirituality, Christianity

160 pages, Hardcover

Published June 13, 2017

About the author

James Martin, SJ is a Jesuit priest, writer, editor at large of the Jesuit magazine America, and consultor to the Vatican's Secretariat for Communication.

Fr. Martin grew up in Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania, United States, and attended Plymouth-Whitemarsh High School. He graduated from the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business in 1982 and worked in corporate finance at General Electric for six years. Dissatisfied with the corporate world, he entered the Society of Jesus (more commonly known as the Jesuits) in 1988, and after completing his Jesuit training (which included studies in philosophy and theology, as well as full time-ministry) was ordained a priest in 1999. He received his Master's in Divinity (M.Div.) and Master's in Theology (Th.M.) from the Weston Jesuit School of Theology (now part of Boston College).

During his Jesuit training, Martin worked in a hospital for the seriously ill and a homeless shelter in Boston, with Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity in Jamaica, with street-gang members in Chicago, in a prison in Boston, and for two years with East African refugees in Nairobi, Kenya, with the Jesuit Refugee Service. In addition to his work at America magazine, Fr. Martin has written or edited more than 15 books, most of which are about spirituality and religion. He is a frequent commentator on religion and spirituality and has appeared on all the major networks, served as an expert commentator for ABC for the papal conclave that elected Pope Francis, and has written for many outlets, including the New York Times and The Wall Street Journal.

Father Martin's best known books The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything (2010) and Jesus: A Pilgrimage were both New York Times bestsellers; My Life with the Saints was named a Publishers Weekly Best Book; and all three were winners of the Christopher Award.

He has received over 15 honorary degrees from Catholic colleges and universities, and in 2017 Pope Francis appointed him as consultor to the Vatican's Secretariat for Communication.

Reviews

[Kevin Tuerff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Father Jim Martin is a phenomenal priest and author. I have great respect for his teaching and his advocacy for marginalized persons, be it refugees or LGBT Catholics. As a gay Catholic, I'm overjoyed this book exists. Most of my gay Catholic friends left the church years ago due to hate speech from church officials and the Vatican. Fr. Jim's book is not just for LGBT Catholics, it's for all current and former Catholics. I attended his book reading, and I love his comment that "God knew when you were conceived that you'd be an LGBT person. And when entered the Catholic Church at baptism, you were made a permanent member. No one can take that away. Every priest and bishop in America needs to read this book, and more importantly, start a dialogue with LGBT persons in their area. They are everywhere.

[Jorge · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a pretty disappointing read. It was essentially a blog post--and an incredibly superficial one at that--in hardcover. There was very little discussion beyond "gays are people too; be nice to them." Some parts were also supremely tone deaf, which was surprising for an author who is generally well-versed in this topic. Definitely left much to be desired.

[Fiza Pathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a great breakthrough indeed! In the Roman Catholic World where there is minimal or absolutely no information on how to guide a dedicated Catholic priest, religious and animator in ministering to LGBTQIA Catholics, I think ‘Building A Bridge’ is like a stream in a very arid desert.

Fr. James Martin has done a great service to those of us who wish to work in the LGBTQIA Catholic Ministry by writing this sobering and humbling book. Neither is it anti-LGBTQIA nor anti-institutional. Instead, it is exactly like what is stated in the title – it is a bridge between the two where a respectful dialogue and mutual understanding can take place. This book is especially beneficial to those who are part of the clergy or those who are religious to understand this beautiful community of LGBTQIA Catholics better.

The book is divided based on the three core equations one can cultivate while ministering to the community, namely respect, compassion, and sensitivity. The book is a heartening plea to both sides to come to a meeting point of sorts on the basis of the community feeling shared by Jesus with his Church irrespective of all prejudices and bias. For Jesus, community feeling and a welcoming attitude always came first, especially to those on the margins or even beyond that. The testimonies given by friends, family, and allies of LGBTQIA Catholics in this book are heartening to read and yet leaves the reader on an optimistic and uplifting note. I was especially taken up with the way an otherwise externally heterosexual church married couple continued remaining faithful to each other even after one of them transitioned into another gender. That in itself proves that the sacrament of marriage is more than what meets the eye.

It is not a textbook of dry facts or statistics, but it does bring out the severity of the hate being meted out to LGBTQIA Catholics especially in the USA. It is a spiritual book and can be used in guided prayer, as a spiritual direction exercise manual and as a prayer manual for those involved. I loved the gospel and Biblical passages used at the end of the book in its revised edition to aid in community prayer and worship. In fact, it has been a long time since a prayer book seemed to speak to my soul, and the prayers penned by Fr. James Martin in this book have managed to really brighten my day, even though per se I am not an LGBTQIA individual. I’m just a keen ally.

My favourite part of the book was actually the fact that Fr. James did not mention the numerous death threats, hate mail, curses, social cancelling and other negatives he received after he penned the first edition of this book or when he entered this ministry in the first place. It made me respect the man and made me see the face of Jesus through his words of empathy, love, compassion, and sincerity. He just casually mentions about the same in the beginning in one sentence and then just brushes it off, which as we know is not how easy it has been for him in this challenging ministry, especially for those of us who have been following the proceedings of the 2023 Synod carefully.

God bless your efforts Fr. James Martin S.J.! Thanks for the guidance, and I hope to meet you some day. ‘Building A Bridge’ gets 5 stars from me.

[Julia Murphy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m going to begin this review by quoting another Goodreads user who said it best:

“So blandly inoffensive, I can hardly rally myself to recommend it” -Elizabeth

This book has value in that it starts an important conversation of LGBTQ inclusion in the Church. But, further than that, Fr. Martin unsurprisingly does not push the envelope beyond “Catholics need to respect gay people” (which is like... obvious if you’ve ever read the Catechism or Catholic social teaching...) But, unfortunately, in practice the belief that Catholics must respect and love LGBTQ people is not always obvious, especially in this day in age when Catholic dioceses and schools are getting lots of press for unjustly firing gay teachers/employees.

I didn’t expect Fr. Martin to go against church teaching in this book. But the reality is the reason that so many LGBTQ Catholics feel alienated from the Church is not necessarily acute abuse/discrimination that they’ve received interpersonally, but rather from the truth that Catholic teaching still says that any homosexual activity is immoral. And so in skirting around that teaching, I feel as if this book is ignoring the blatant reality that while this teaching exists, LGBTQ Catholics who “practice” their sexuality and get married in “nontraditional” ways will never be fully accepted into the Church.

I also have a problem with the “bridge” metaphor. I think it’s valid in that there has to be a mutual relationship between Church leaders and lay LGBTQ people. Although Fr. Martin acknowledges the pain that has been caused by many leaders to the LGBTQ community, I don’t think he goes far enough in his critique. So many issues of oppression within the Church happen BECAUSE of its strict hierarchy (another example being how much child abuse was covered up because so many priests wanted to protect their place/power in the hierarchy). It’s unfair and unrealistic of Fr. Martin to act as if this relationship between Church hierarchy and any lay people will ever be equal/mutual right now as the hierarchy stands. So, I have hope about the de-hierarchization (maybe I just invented that word) of the Church if leaders continue to follow how Pope Francis has dealt with the hierarchy issue.

Anyway, I should mention another success of this book beyond contributing to bringing LGBTQ issues to the mainstream of Catholic discourse in the 21st century. The spiritual resources provided after the main text of the book are really beautiful and helpful, and show Fr. Martin’s sincere dedication to accompanying LGBTQ Catholics. I wonder if personally he has differing opinions from the Church on this issue- but, because of how the hierarchy is structured, he would never be able to voice these publicly.

I know my opinion on this issue differs from many Catholics, but these are my thoughts. I gave this book 3 stars because it’s not inherently bad, but it’s not good enough for anything better.

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Given the storm of controversy surrounding Fr James Martin of late, I figured I needed to read this book to see exactly what his position is.
Among Catholics in general, there tends to be a divergence of views upon approaching the delicate topic of LGBT Catholics, between those who wish to emphasize the theology of marriage and its concomitant social mores and those who wish to focus on mercy and inclusiveness. These approaches are not necessarily opposed to each other, however there is a danger in leaning too heavily on either side; on the one hand, fixation on rules can occlude charity, and on the other, an excess of acceptance can lead to tension with the teachings of the Church.

Fr James Martin frames this essay in the language of the Catechism, stressing that the Church teaches that those with homosexual attraction ought to be treated with 'respect, compassion and sensitivity'. Martin develops each of these as themes, with an invitation both to the Church to adopt a respectful, compassionate and sensitive approach to the LGBT community, and also for the LGBT community to be respectful, compassionate and sensitive to Church teachings, Sacred Tradition, and the global nature of the Church.

Among the points he raises that I found helpful are the following:
- Using the appropriate name is a means of conveying respect. This applies to individuals and also to groups and communities. Up to now the Church has been reluctant to use the term 'LGBT', but whatever the objections to the term, surely avoiding its use is not worth isolating those who identify strongly with the LGBT community.
- The Church, as an evangelizing community, ought not to be content that a significant portion of the 'people of God' face obstacles to realizing that community, and in fact find a much greater sense of community elsewhere, in groups that accept them, love them and reaffirm them with dignity. The Church should be doing this, reaffirming LGBT people in their gifts and talents that can be used to build up the Church.
- Fr Martin suggests that the language used in the Catechism about homosexual attraction being 'objectively disordered' be changed. This may be a controversial point, but after considering it I find myself agreeing with him. The phrase is something of a technical term, with its meaning properly understood in a discussion of natural law, order and complementarity. To the untrained ear, however, it appears needlessly insulting. It should be possible, without changing the substance of the Church's view, to soften the language used. The Catechism is, after all, written to be read by all the Christian faithful, not just those trained in philosophy or theology. One might argue that such a conciliatory approach has already been adopted by the Church when speaking of non-Catholic Christians, with the aim of facilitating ecumenism while losing nothing of the substance of the Church's position.
- Fr Martin's exposition of Jesus' approach to sinners in the gospel made for a particularly good point. Jesus loved unconditionally. He didn't demand a certain behavior before extending help. And after showering sinners with love, respect, compassion and sensitivity, only then does he exhort them to 'go and sin no more.' This approach strikes me as the most appropriate way for the Church and all her faithful to approach this thorny topic.

There is a similarly challenging invitation made to the LGBT community to learn to really understand why the Church teaches what she does, what bishops and priests face in their daily lives, and to avoid rhetoric that further distances the LGBT community from the Church. Both 'lanes' on the bridge are afforded equal coverage in the book, but I found the Church-to-LGBT outreach section more relevant to me personally.

The book does not claim to have all the answers. The proposed bridge has a wide gulf to cross, and Fr James Martin is performing something of a prophetic role by standing in the gulf and attempting to mend a wound in the Body of Christ.
Based solely on this book, any accusations of unfaithfulness to Church teaching are unfounded. Nowhere does he suggest that the Church ought to compromise its teaching. Sure, he doesn't lead with rules and demands, for that is no way to build a bridge.
He is serious that the success of this project is only possible through prayer. To that end, the whole second half of the book is a series of scripture passages and reflections intended for Ignatian meditation.
Overall, I thought this book was a remarkable template for how to build up the Body of Christ in the face of so many factors that wish to tear it apart. I can only hope that more people read it with an open and charitable heart.

[Nick · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can understand why some people feel “this book didn’t go far enough.” I think they’re reading it through a different lens than was intended. As a Catholic who studied theology and works for the Church in tension, I think I am lucky enough to see where Fr. Martin is coming from and where he is pointing all of us. Thank you, Jim, for showing all of us how to open our hearts to build this bridge together.

[Ryan Morrison · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm a gay product of Jesuit education and, very generally, a fan of Fr. Martin's (he spoke at my high school graduation). I was excited to read this, but I found it to be pretty problematic and, honestly, disappointing.

Let's set this straight: marginalized groups are on the margins because of the abuses of institutions within structures of power--definitely NOT the other way around. Maybe this is because of my personal bias, but it really seems like Fr. Martin used a little bit of page space explaining what gay and trans folk are, a little bit chastising Catholic leaders for not speaking up after the Pulse shooting, and then a LOT basically saying "bishops have hard jobs, don't be mean to them" and implying that the queer community owes the Catholic hierarchy some sort of apology. The whole book (essay? speech?) felt weak, lukewarm, and reeked of trite nonsense to me.

[Josh Mcdonald · Rating 4 out of 5]

Father Martin offers up a small, easily readable book which, for all the furor it's raised in certain sectors of the Catholic Church, is actually remarkably tame. There is nothing scandalous here, just one priest's sharing of his most effective ideas for reaching out to certain groups of marginalized Catholics.

In fact, I found myself wondering if Fr. Martin might not be offering us a blueprint for the various other deep divisions facing our society these days. All he's really advocating here is for two sides to listen to each other, make some attempt at dialogue, and to have the patience to let them work through whatever issues they have to work through. He offers no answers, only a process and a Christ-like pastoral vision.

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was prepared to really like this. I was heartened by the support by various members of the Church hierarchy, including the head of the Vatican's dicastery of laity, family and life, and as for the people losing their heads about it, well, they tend to make me roll my eyes anyway, right?

The thing is, Fr. Martin's book is so blandly inoffensive, I can hardly rally myself to recommend it. He pulls his punches and is barely specific in terms of *how*, practically speaking, bridges and lines of communication can be built. On one hand, it's truly telling that a book (which apparently was mostly taken from a speech he gave) that literally just repeats, "Treat each other with dignity" can cause such an uproar of consternation among conservative Catholics. On the other hand, Eve Tushnet, a celibate lesbian, does more in her appendices to offer thoughtful suggestions on "how the Catholic Church and the LGBT community can enter into a relationship of respect, compassion and sensitivity" than Fr. Martin does in his entire book. Or a Catholic, pastoral take on the premise of Andrew Marin's "Us vs Us" -- an objective study on what members of the LGBT population say would make them feel more welcome in the Church -- would be helpful. In my opinion, for all the fuel it's added to the liberal vs. conservative fire, this book doesn't add much to the conversation.

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

I heard about a local Catholic school having a staff book club using this text, as a way to warm up to learning how to better support their LGBTQ students, and having me in as a trainer on the topic. (For context, I am a trainer on best practices for affirming LGBTQ youth and creating supportive environments.)

The way in which the school was using the book led me to believe the focus would be on helping Catholics understand LGBTQ identities and ways the church can be more supportive. Instead, it read like a plea to LGBTQ folks to “be more sensitive” to the institutional church and its hierarchy, giving examples of bishops who have made lukewarm supportive statements in the vein of #notallmen.

For every reference to “the bridge goes two ways,” there seemed to be three more condescending suggestions for LGBTQ folks to just try to understand where their church communities are coming from. While I understand on the surface (as a non-Catholic) that “loving your enemy” is a central philosophy, it doesn’t seem to be helping when LGBTQ youth are dying by suicide at a rate 1.5-3 times higher than heterosexual youth. At the time of this review (August 2019) 15 trans women of color have been murdered in the USA this year. Who’s really going to dare suggest those women should have loved their enemies? (Of note, while “LGBT” was the chosen acronym throughout the book, transgender identity was mentioned only in anecdotes and never as an identity separate from sexuality.)

I’m giving this one star for starting off (however briefly) by imploring churches to welcome all people, and one additional star understanding that you can’t reach folks at one end of a spectrum with the opposite extreme (however much I don’t like that fact).

[Ashley Piekarski · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first foray into the amazing truth of a truly welcoming Catholic Church.

This is a great book to give to your aunt, uncle, friend or grandparent who isn't quite anti-LGBT but feels uncomfortable with accepting someone LGBT+ due to "religious reasons."

As Fr. Martin effectively proves, there is no such thing as a "religious reason" to reject or outcast anybody who is gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans and anyone else who doesn't identify as cisgender or heterosexual. Catholicism asks us to love and support our neighbor regardless of our differences. Moreover, Catholicism requires us to reach out to the LGBT community especially as an oppressed community in need of love and shelter.

If you're familiar with Father James Martin's activism, you'll be able to clearly tell that this book was published in 2017 and reflects a former version of Fr. Martin who was just beginning to open his heart to LGBTQ+ advocacy. He makes some statements that are a little insensitive, but as we know, he evolves from this place into the wonderful advocate he is today.

[Rissie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though I am not Catholic or gay, I found this book very instructive and inspiring. There are so many bridges that need to be built in our communities, and I know that we all find ourselves on one side in any number of arenas … religion, politics, workplace, school.

His focus is how BOTH sides and learn respect, compassion, and sensitivity for the other. No one is perfect, and we can ALL improve our interactions with people we disagree with.

[Aubrie · Rating 1 out of 5]

James Martin provides several thoughts on how to bridge the gap between the LGBT Community and the Catholic Church. Some suggestions are helpful and thought provoking, however, the majority of James Martin's argument calls into question the wisdom of the Catholic Church and calls for a change to church teachings to accommodate the ever changing culture. I worry this book will cause scandal to those who are seeking (intentionally or unintentionally) relative truth instead of absolute truth.

[Ugnė · Rating 3 out of 5]

Man atrodo, kad naudingesnė ir būtinesnė katalikams nei LGBT* bendruomenei, nes pravalomi kai kurie klaidingi ir nereikalingi įsitikinimai apie santykius, požiūrį, nuodėmę ir pan. Aišku, kai ką priimti žmogui, kuris Biblijoje perskaito tai, ką nori perskaityti, o ne tai, kas ten parašyta, gali būti sunku, bet gal po truputį, po vieną kitą tokią knygą perskaičius pasaulis vis draugiškesnis pasirodys.

Aišku, kai kur norėjosi aiškesnės, tvirtesnės ir atviresnės pozicijos, tačiau pačioje knygoje (tiesa, kitame kontekste) James Martin parašo, kad tai, kas vienam kraštui yra perdėm atsargi pozicija, kitam kraštui skamba kaip didžiulė revoliucija. Knyga pirma skirta abejingiesiems, priešiškiesiems ir abejojantiesiems - su tokia mintimi žiūrint viskas daug geriau atrodo.

[Erica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was very excited about this new edition and to read the introduction which explained reactions to his book. Almost all of my critiques of the first edition were addressed and in typical James Martin fashion, handled with grace. I would, however, like to see him acknowledge the lack of inclusion of the transgender experience mostly, but also to the bisexual and lesbian experience as well. This book largely reads to the gay male experience and not to the other members of the LGBT community. Why use the term if you don’t speak to those experiences with equal weight?

[Eva Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this book was written with good intentions, and while there were many good points made, there were some definite issues I had with it.

There were many times that the author spoke about the LGBTQIA+ community as a whole, without citing any sources or providing quotes or stats or anything to back up his claims. “They feel” and “they have”, and other overgeneralizing statements were used. Yet, even though the author states at the beginning that he interviewed several members of the LGBT community, he never provides quotes from them or explains that his statements come from what these individuals said.

In addition, he says that LGBTQIA stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, and ALLIES. Please. This book is copyrighted 2017. How hard would it have been to Google “What is the ‘A’ in LGBTQIA?” and fact-check?!

However, despite the lack of a voice the author gives the community, he makes good points about how heterosexual and cisgender Catholics should be openminded and respectful and inclusive. The first step he suggests is acknowledging that the community exists, and using proper nomenclature (i.e.: not using “homos”, “transvestite”, etc.) It’s hard to imagine people still using this kind of terminology in 2018, but it still happens. Next he suggests that if Catholics are going to use “The Teachings of the Church” as an excuse to exclude LGBT-identified individuals from the workplace and other places, then they cannot be choosy about which teachings qualify as exclusion-worthy. For example, straight couples living together before marriage: out. Straight couples who divorced and did not get an annulment: out. Women on birth control: out. People who don’t give enough to the poor, who do not love and forgive and turn the other cheek enough: out. Then, once this list gets ridiculous he says, see? Why should we then turn away the LGBT community?

So in this regard, the author does a good job. There are certainly some things about this book that are problematic, and I won’t agree with the Catholic Church on the entire LGBTQIA+ issue until they change their teachings, which could be never. But I believe this book is a good start towards having conversations and opening the minds of people of the Catholic faith. Many people I know could stand to read this book.

PSA: if you are queer and proud, don’t read this. It will just upset you, as it did me. But if you are Catholic and struggle with accepting your LGBT-identified friends and family, the community, the concept at large, or even your own LGBT+ identity, then this is a good introductory book to start on your journey towards tolerance, acceptance, and eventually love and joy.

[Michael Jolls · Rating 2 out of 5]

“Building A Bridge” is a cute book that Catholics seem to gravitate towards because it’s warm and cuddly. I’m hesitant to label the book ‘shallow’ because on the topics of compassion and sensitivity, Fr. Martin does a wonderful job. However, those principles can be applied to countless aspects, and dozens of relationships in our respective lives. Therefore, while nearly everything in “Building A Bridge” is wonderful - the problem is what’s omitted. Suppose you replace the phrase “LGBT” throughout the book with anything else that the Catholic Church considers sinful (which is a LONG and controversial list). In the end, you’d have almost the exact same book. The gray area of “Building A Bridge” dawned on me about halfway through when I realized: what if this whole book addressed unmarried heterosexual couples? “Building A Bridge” doesn’t highlight any Catholic teachings about human sexuality (and there is a mountain of material). Therefore, it’s a lot of ‘happy thoughts,’ but does nothing to explain the ideological differences between LGBT and the Magisterium. A good priest can explain church teaching without condemning someone (not to mention there are priests who are vocal about their disagreements with church teaching). You can’t ‘build a bridge’ between two groups when you don’t acknowledge where the two groups disagree - especially when human sexuality is a vast spectrum since it’s applicable to everyone. The other ‘muddy’ situation is that Fr. Martin depicts Jesus a little on the Willem Dafoe, “The Last Temptation of Christ” side, which… opens a whole separate can of worms with regards to Catholic teaching. Because Fr. Martin uses that rendition of Jesus in his book, he’s able to ‘build a bridge,’ although said ‘bridge’ is built on the foundation of a version of Jesus that the church repeatedly debates. Bottom line, a handful of fantastic observations, but this is some weak tea.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a great conversation starter, especially for people on opposite sides of this issue. I liked the way Fr. Martin dealt with the issue of the ecclesiology of the Catholic Church and how that affects the speed and type of movement on current global issues. I also really appreciated the scriptures and questions at the end. These would make it easier to use this book in a group and work your way towards hearing, healing and understanding.

I don't feel like this book changed me opinion on this issue or my belief that the church should treat LGBT members with kindness, graciousness and love. But it did give words to my heart on this matter - that we all sin and fall short and should not judge our brothers and sisters harshly for their sins that we happen to not share. Instead, let's make a place at the table for all, no matter what their sexuality may or may not be.

[Cappy · Rating 3 out of 5]

For me, this book lands somewhere between "I'm glad it exists because it might be a helpful way forward" and "this feels like a(nother) false equivalence that will only be misused by people in power."

As little as one sentence acknowledging the way the hierarchy's obvious power advantage and the real material harm done to the LGBT community shifts the burdens in this bridge-building would have been helpful.

[Christopher Moellering · Rating 1 out of 5]

Father Martin's central point is this, LBGT persons--in ongoing sexually intimate relationships (he admittedly excludes those seeking chastity) should be "welcomed" into the Church. He also admits this is against the clear teaching of the Church to commit these acts. The rest is Fr. Martin raising "issues" by using flawed analogies and poor comparisons. This book is a muddled mess.

[Gina Mullen · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many people are upset by this book. I think it's the ones who haven't read it. Def worth reading. He has a very simple message: respect, compassion, & sensitivity. From & for all. How can you argue with that? It's a two way bridge.

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful book that reminds us that to build a bridge and cross it we need to listen to each other, be with each other and spend time getting to
know each other as Jesus has called us to do.

[Kaleb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite short. Father James Martin is well known for his LGBT outreach in the Catholic Church, something that has drawn a lot of criticism from the conservative wing of the Church. This book takes the language from the Catechism about the Church's policy toward LGBT people (respect, compassion, sensitivity) and points out how the Church should do a better job of living up to it. Overall, it was a good, needed book. Common sense arguments about how hatred and homophobia have no place in the Catholic Church.

My one criticism is that Father Martin equivocates too much at times. He argues that LGBT people should be more understanding and fair to the Church hierarchy. In some sense, this is true. Dr. King called on Black people to treat racist white people with respect and compassion, something that was quite difficult but also important and certainly demanded by Christian doctrine. Dr. King also never downplayed what racism was; he always made it clear that we must acknowledge evil while still loving those who commit it. Father Martin definitely calls out homophobia, but at times, he doesn’t criticize the Church hierarchy as sharply as he should.

I don’t want to be too hard on Father Martin. It’s true that the Church is still a pretty homophobic institution, especially in Africa. Any changes and outreach (unfortunately) have to be gradual, or they risk a conservative backlash. Plus, he explicitly says “the main burden falls on bishops, priests, and other church officials to take the first steps and work harder at reconciliation. Why? Because it is the institutional church that has made LGBT Catholics feel marginalized, not the other way around.”The move toward greater inclusion is slow but steady Still, I wish he were a little sharper in criticizing Church leadership. I guess they’re his bosses, so maybe he can’t do too much.

Quotes

“Respect also means acknowledging that LGBT Catholics bring unique gifts to the church—both as individuals and as a community. These gifts build up the church in special ways, as St. Paul wrote when he compared the People of God to a human body (1 Corinthians 12:12–27). Every body part is important: the hand, the eye, the foot. In fact, as Paul said, it is the parts of the body that “we think less honorable” that deserve even greater respect.

Many LGBT people have indeed felt “less honorable” in the church. So, following St. Paul, it is to these members and to their gifts that we should pay even greater respect. 'Those members of the body that we think less honorable we clothe with greater honor,' he writes.”

“Many, if not most, LGBT people have endured, from an early age, misunderstanding, prejudice, hatred, persecution, and even violence, and therefore often feel a natural compassion toward the marginalized. Compassion is a gift. They have often been made to feel unwelcome in their parishes and in their church, but they persevere because of their vigorous faith. Perseverance is a gift. They are often forgiving of clergy and other church employees who treat them like damaged goods. Forgiveness is a gift. Compassion, perseverance, and forgiveness are all gifts.”

[Elyse Hayes · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a lovely little book. It is really a long essay (based on a lecture at New Ways Ministry), with an added section at the end. It is a nice effort on Fr. Martin's part to ask for compassion and respect between the church AND the LGBT community (going BOTH ways). I read the lecture part, and then skimmed through the beautiful 2nd section, which is a selection of Scripture passages for reflection, along with questions to ask yourself. (These passages have been useful for Fr. Martin when he is ministering to people involved with these issues.)
It is very alarming, after finding nothing extreme or heretical in the book, to witness the smear campaigns against him, coming from Catholics (in social media and other outlets). He is not contradicting church teaching or dogma. All he is doing is trying to start some kind of dialogue, and to help LGBT Catholics AND their families feel less embattled. What is wrong with that?

[Amy Moritz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had been wanting to read this for some time and my spiritual director lent me her copy.

Loved it.

Written with compassion and love, it also gave me a way, a framework almost, to approach people who differ with me on any topic of social justice matters. Sometimes, they just don't know better or have not had the experience. Sure, not everyone will be open to new ideas or have a meaningful conversation with you, but this does give me some additional food for thought, some ways to pause and learn to communicate. Because if we're not speaking the same language, it doesn't matter how loud I yell, or how much I may be right.

[Ryan Hubbell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good start to an important conversation but it ignores (intentionally) the most pressing question. How do we reconcile catholic social teaching with caring for LBGT+ members who wish to have a fulfilling family life?

[Anne]

Although this is really an expanded essay, so not very long, it was very meaningful to me.

[Robert D. Cornwall · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most important issues of our day in the church concerns the inclusion of LGBTQ+ people. My own congregation became "Open and Affirming" just last year, after several years of open discussion. As difficult as that work was for a congregation, which has a great degree of autonomy, you can imagine the difficulty with which a Christian communion that is both ancient and nearly universal. While winds of change are being felt, it may take years, even generations for those changes to be fully experienced. For those most affected by the church's lack of movement, change may not come quick enough, for others it is coming at too rapid of a pace. So how does one build a bridge that allows for productive conversation between an ancient institutional church that finds it difficult to institute change (look at what happened with Vatican II) and the LGBTQ community?

Into the midst of this conversation steps James Martin, a Jesuit theologian and author, who has demonstrated a unique ability to stand in the gap on a number of issues. He is one who desires to be faithful to the church he has committed himself to serve and the people whom has come to know, people who are often marginalized and excluded. Such is the case here. He builds on Catholic teaching and personal experience to build a bridge that involves respect, compassion, and sensitivity.

The origins of this brief, readable, thoughtful book, is to be found in the response of Catholic leaders to the shooting at the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando. He writes that he found revelatory the fact that "only a few Catholic bishops acknowledged the LGBT community or even used the word gay at such a time that the LGBT community is still invisible in many quarters of the church. Even in tragedy it's members are invisible." (p. 2) He acknowledges that a chasm exists between the institutional church and the LGBT community, and that a bridge needs to be built. He hopes that this little book can be the start of that effort. He writes from the perspective of one who has "ministered to and worked with LGBT people, most of them Catholics." (p. 3). In addition to his relationships with LGBT folks, and their families, he has also worked with Catholic leaders. So, he knows the lay of the land. He knows of the deep hurt felt by those excluded and their families, and he seeks to address them.

This book, he notes emerged from a presentation given to a Catholic group -- New Ways Ministry, which "ministers to and advocates for LGBT Catholics. He received an award from that group for his work in building bridges. He seeks, in this book, to urge the church he loves to treat LGBT people with "respect, compassion, and sensitivity," as well as asking that the LGBT community would reciprocate in their relationships with the church. He knows the difficulty in what he asks of those hurt by the church, but he also knows that there are many in the church, like himself, even among the hierarchy, that want the church to be fully welcoming. He asks, however, for time and for patience, qualities he knows are difficult to express. He writes with compassion and desire to see change. He would like it to come faster, but as he notes, this is not just an American church, and so what sounds rather bland to an American audience might be seen as radical to the ears of Catholics in other parts of the world. Finding a way to bridge that chasm is also part of the journey.

I read the book as a Protestant who is cisgender, heterosexual, married, white, privileged. I have a brother, a cousin, a cousin-in-law who are gay. I have church members and colleagues in ministry who are gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender. I have learned from them that each story is different and distinct. It is with this context that I read this book written by a Catholic to members of the Catholic Church, whether LGBT members or Catholic leaders. I am not the primary audience, but I appreciate his commitment to pursuing a conversation that calls for people to engage each other with respect, compassion, and sensitivity, even when one is not in complete agreement with the other. This is not simply a call to agree to disagree. This is a call to engagement. It is a call to build a bridge so that Catholic tradition can be respected, even as the institutional church responds with compassion and respect to the concerns and needs of members who are LGBTQ. This is important to hear. Martin makes it clear that there are faithful Catholics who are gay, lesbian, bi, transgender, and wrestling with their identity. He is friends with them. He acknowledges them as brothers and sisters in Christ. Does he wish the church would move faster. Yes. But he also understands that you don't turn a super-tanker on a dime.

Even if you are not Catholic, this is worth reading. It might be helpful to the conversation within the congregation. That is especially true because Martin provides the readers with a set of "Biblical Passages for Reflection and Meditation." These are not the typical texts one engages when addressing the question of inclusion. These are texts that deal with names and naming, different gifts, care for those who are persecuted, Jesus meeting people where they are, a reminder that we are all "wonderfully made," God is our strength, Jesus' own proclamation of his identity, the call of Peter, the appearance of the risen Christ to Mary Magdalene, and the road to Emmaus. Discussion questions are provided for each text. As you can see, none of the texts are directed to matters of sexual orientation or identity. They are designed to get us talking about our common faith and common humanity. That seems to be a better place to start.

The book concludes with a prayer that Martin wrote titled "A Prayer for when I feel rejected." It is written for "all who feel excluded, rejected, marginalized, shamed, or persecuted, in any way or in any place, religious or otherwise" (p. 144). The prayer begins with a recognition that God has made us all who we are: "I praise you and love you, for I am wonderfully made, in your image."

Again, I highly recommend this book to the church at large, for it is a call to conversation that can turn the page, for God is in the conversation.

[Ashley Brooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

This should be required reading for all Catholics. Fr. Martin does an excellent job of breaking down how (and why) the Church should be showing more respect and compassion to our LGBTQ neighbors. Some call him a dissident priest because of his work around LGBTQ issues, but after reading this, I can't see why. He says nothing that goes against Church teaching. All he wants is for members of the Catholic community to treat LGBTQ people with the love and dignity that all humans deserve.

The highlight of this book is Fr. Martin's use of scripture to point out how Jesus would likely interact with LGBTQ people if he walked the earth today. Far from honing in on the short (often out of context) verses that mention homosexuality by name, Fr. Martin takes well-known Gospel stories such as the Roman centurion and Zacchaeus the tax collector to illustrate how Jesus treated those who lived on the outskirts of society. He calls for modern Catholics to use Christ as a model when choosing how to treat others, both in our speech and our actions.

I suppose my biggest critique is that this is such a short, broad overview it could have been an article instead of a book. I do wish Fr. Martin had gone more in-depth, but I realize that this shorter format was probably best for the purpose he intended to serve.

[Alexa Marie Schaefer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this and most of the controversy surrounding this author will be revealed to you to just be ludicrous, thinly veiled homophobia. This book begs Catholic circles to do better by our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters, and does so using the Catechism and scripture. This didn’t have exact solutions, but I found it valuable in calling out the harmful rhetoric in many Catholic circles that have had real, terrible consequences for LGBTQ+ folks, and and in how it nudges us in a more empathetic, Jesus-centered direction. This book is not nearly as “extreme” or “radical” as I had expected it to be, which really left me wondering why loving the marginalized can be perceived to be such a radical notion, and how we can be less reactionary (seeing LGBT and a rainbow on the cover of a book written by a Jesuit priest just gets a rise out of some people) and more thoughtful and attentive (maybe read the book before you judge it by its cover?).