Making Room in Our Hearts: Keeping Family Ties through Open Adoption

by Micky Duxbury

Adopted persons face challenges their entire lives as they struggle to answer the most basic Who am I? The hope of open adoption is that adopted children will develop stronger identities if they have the opportunity to develop healthy ongoing relationships with their families of origin. Making Room in Our Hearts offers an intimate look at how these relationships evolve over time, with real-life stories from families who have experienced open adoption first-hand. This book helps both adoptive and birth parents address their fears and concerns, while offering them the support to put the child’s psychological and spiritual needs at the center of adoption. Based on interviews with more than one hundred adopted children, birth and adoptive parents, extended families, professionals and experts, the book is an effective and invaluable resource for those considering open adoption, those experiencing it, and professionals in the field. Openness has altered the landscape of adoption, and Making Room in Our Hearts will help us catch up to the reality that is open adoption today.

Genres: Adoption, Parenting

188 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2006

Reviews

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an excellent resource for anyone involved in open adoption. Duxbury integrates first-person stories with information on the basic philosophy and history of openness. The stories are authentic and honest, and do not shy away from acknowledging challenges and mistakes. Especially valuable are those from decades-old adoptions, offering a glimpse into how open adoption relationships evolve over time. I appreciated the story groupings which provided multiple perspectives on a single adoption--from birth/first parents, adoptees, adoptive parents, siblings and extended family members. Prompts encourage readers to mine these shared experiences for practical application in their own situations. Optimistic without falling into Pollyanna-ness, the book touches on public and private adoption, opening closed adoptions, openness in international adoptions, how to make openness work, and needed changes in the current adoption system. A comprehensive list of open adoption resources (publications, agencies, organizations, etc.) is also included.

Although a good resource for families at any stage, I think this book will be especially valuable for pre-adoptive parents and expectant parents considering placement. It not only provides a realistic look at openness, but also makes a strong case for the importance of adequate preparation and ongoing post-adoption support for participants in open adoptions. The discussion of best practices in open adoption will help potential clients discern which agencies/professionals are committed to child-centered open adoption as a standard and which pay it mere lip service.

[Hilary]

We have homework in this adoption process!

[Shelby Zomermaand · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting insights on navigating open adoptions

[Thorn MotherIssues · Rating 3 out of 5]

I should probably give this more stars because I have no complaints about the book or the writing, but I've done so much reading already on open adoption that it didn't seem particularly new or interesting. An easy read, a great introduction, though.

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh I loved this book. If you are an adoptive parent considering open adoption or in an open adoption... it is a MUST read! So good!

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this. It's both honest and encouraging about the possibility of having a truly open adoption enabling adopted children to have actual relationships with their birth parents.

[Melissa]

Very informative. Truthful and eye opening.