Forever Changes

by Brendan Halpin

5:30 a.m., Brianna Pelletier gets ready for her daily pounding. As she lies on the couch, her dad beats her chest, then her back, coaxing the mucus out of her lungs. The pounding doesn’t take care of everything. Brianna’s held out for a long time, but a body with cystic fibrosis doesn’t last forever. It doesn’t matter that Brianna has a brilliant mathematical mind or that she’s a shoo-in for MIT. Or even that her two best friends are beautiful, popular, and loyal. In the grand scheme of things, none of that stuff matters at all. The standard life, lasting maybe seventy-five years, is no more than a speck in the sum total of the universe. At eighteen, and doubting she’ll make nineteen, Brianna is practically a nonentity. Of course she’s done the math. But in her senior year of high school, Brianna learns of another kind of math, in which an infinitely small, near-zero quantity can have profound effects on an entire system. If these tiny quantities didn’t exist, things wouldn’t make the same sense.


Funny, tear-jerking, and memorable, the author’s second novel for teens introduces readers to an extraordinary girl who learns that the meaning of forever can change, and that life – and death – is filled with infinite possibilities.

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction, Realistic Fiction, Contemporary, Teen, Illness, Chick Lit

181 pages, Hardcover

First published September 2, 2008

About the author

I grew up in Cincinnati, went to college in Philadelphia, and also lived in Taipei and Edinburgh along the way. I've lived in Boston since 1991.

I became a professional writer in 2000, writing about my late wife Kirsten's breast cancer diagnosis and treatment. Kirsten died in 2003, leaving me and our daughter Rowen. I married Suzanne in 2005 and got her kids Casey and Kylie in the deal too. Bargain! Suzanne and I live with our three kids and dog in the shadow of Franklin Park in Jamaica Plain, best neighborhood on earth.

Reviews

[Ricki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved it. My only complaint is the cover-- this is an incredible book, and I am not surprised (based on the cover) that all of the reviews are by females. It is a story that would touch many young adults of all types. Brendan Halpin truly makes us appreciate life and how fortunate we are.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had me sobbing at the end 😭😭

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gets 4 stars because of how it educated me regarding aspects of life with cystic fibrosis and all of the musings on life and death, but I cannot recommend it whole heartedly to everyone, because there are about ten swear words and the casual attitude toward teenage drinking and sex. (There is no actual sex in the book—no pages you'll have to skip.) While I disagree with that attitude and don't swear and while I did not like the low cut shirt on the cover, I found the novel worth reading because of the issues of disease, mortality, and family discussed in the book.

Some quotes are below.

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"I'm leaving the party early, Brianna thought, and the fact that I'm gone won't stop the party from going on. Mel, Steph, will you two still think about me when you and your husbands are fat and you drive your four kids to soccer and gymnastics in a minivan? Will you ever even think about me being dead? Will you think every time you have a birthday, every time you're with a new guy, every kid you have, will you think, here's one more thing poor Bri never got to do? Will you? Or will you just get on with life and say oh well, I'll see her when I get there? But you'll have other best friends by then. You'll have moms from playgroup, you'll have coworkers, and you'll be so old, so much older than I ever get to be, and you'll say I knew this girl once, and she died. Her picture's in the yearbook in the attic. You guys are the best friends I'll ever have in my whole life, and you'll never be less than that to me, and I'm on my way to being just somebody you used to know, that poor girl."
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"She had a weird thought—maybe the only good thing about dying young was that she hadn't built up a lifetime of regrets."
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"'Do you ever wonder what you're here for, or why your life matters, or anything like that?'

Dad handed her a wet plate and looked at her for a minute.

'What?' Brianna said, wiping the plate.

'Well,' he replied as he pulled the saucepan out of the sudsy water that filled the sink, 'I guess that's not a problem I ever have. I've known for eighteen years what my purpose in life is. I have to say that's one thing I haven't worried about since you were born.'

Brianna felt stunned. She certainly knew that Dad made a lot of sacrifices for her, but she'd never really thought that he might think she was his whole reason for being alive. That felt heavy. And also, what would that mean for him when she died? What would his purpose be then?"

[Philip · Rating 4 out of 5]

Forever Changes jumps into the life of a girl, Bri, with Cystic Fibrosis - a disease/condition I know very little about.

It's an interesting read. Halpin doesn't make the book about Bri, or even about CF. He makes it about purpose.

Case in point: Throughout the narraration, Bri's dad is never read as "Bri's dad..." He's always "Dad." So, even though it sometimes feels like first person narration through Bri - it really isn't. Which makes it seem like the book isn't really strictly about Bri as much as it's about her purpose.

Bri's a whiz kid at math - a shoo-in for MIT, and the unlikely hero of the book is her over-weight math teacher. Being a social studies teacher who was never very good at math I was disappointed with Bri's disinterest in MY favorite subject. Social studies was a drag throughout the book. ... You really let me down there Halpin... really let me down... (Although, Halpin really encouraged my teaching with his Losing My Faculties so I guess we're square... it's my all-time favorite memoir. - go on - put it on your goodreads "to-read list," what could it hurt?) ... I know we all have different favorite subjects... *sigh.*

I won't say too much more about the book because I hate putting up spoiler alerts.

I will say, I found the math teacher's name interesting. "Mr. Eccles." He said at one point in the book that infinity is inside every person. One of the craziest, and discussed verses of the Bible comes from Ecclesiastes 3:11 where it says, "... He has set eternity in the hearts of men..." Also, Ecclesiastes is all about the purpose in life - you all know the beginning - "Vainity of vainities all is vainity..." everything is pointless... It says that for the majority of the book, but then it goes on to say that life itself is beautiful, and whatever you do enjoy your life.

That's a rather surfacy summary of Ecclesiastes, but - you get the connection I'm trying to make. And hey, maybe there's no connection... maybe Halpin was high when he wrote this, (like the songwrites of the music group "Love") I don't know, but it's worth reading.

[Gisel · Rating 5 out of 5]

5:30 A.M., Brianna Pelletier an 18 year old girl gets ready and does her everyday routine which
is getting pounded, Her dad beats her chest, then her back making the mucus come right out of
her lungs. Brianna has stayed strong for a long time, but a body with Cystic fibrosis can’t have a
lasting life. Brianna may be a mathematical brain machine, but her world does not revolve
around that, it revolves around the way she is. Her friends are like barbie dolls, and Adam i the
dream boy she’s been looking for but all those things does not matter.


“ I can’t live a life so what’s the point of living”


While living in a world of questions and depression Brianna will never understand why she’s
even trying to go for MIT if she’s not even going to make it for that time.Brianna gets lectures,
she helps and she always has a smile but in the inside everything is different. She’s trying to do
as much as she can before anything happens.

The plot moves well and there’s a lot of sad parts that will make you cry making myself realize
how life is and that “Forever Changes”. The story was amazing in the emotions and actions of
the characters and everything else flowed well.

The characters actions and emotions were perfectly put together. Brianna acts the way she
should be especially that she’s not perfect but sick. Her friends are perfect and popular, they are
also very kind. Adam is the sweetest and would probably give the world to Brianna. Brianna’s
teacher helps her notice the number infinity and she finally sees the world. She’s very calm
and she cares for everyone surrounding her.The characters caught my attention and were all
exceptional for me, they acted their age and it made common sense of the way they acted.
Brianna’s friends shows a great example of how even if their popular they don’t care the way
Brianna looks. It’s not that she’s ugly but her body is different. Adam showed he liked Brianna
with all his blushing but never the less he was showing that he loves her the way she is.

This novel made me realize how you always have to enjoy the little things in life because others
can’t. This novel was amazing and I would read it as many times as I can, I would recommend
this for everyone to read.

[Alex · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm hopeful that I will find a good fiction book about cystic fibrosis one day, but this one definitely wasn't it.

I have a lot of complaints about how CF was portrayed in this book, so please allow me to rant for a moment.

First of all, why on earth wasn't Brianna doing nebulizer treatments? Her father claps her (because she can't afford a Vest) and she takes enzymes but THAT'S IT. We are supposed to believe she is this close to death but not doing breathing treatments? They are finally mentioned close to the end, but Brianna doesn't want to do them because "they taste bad and don't work." What??? It's also mentioned that she goes to the hospital to get nebulizer treatments done if the doctor orders it, which makes no sense.

Also, Brianna has CF friends who even spend the night with her. Um, in what world? CF is a very lonely disease in reality, because we are usually contagious to each other. That's why the CF Foundation implemented the "6 foot" rule and CFF-sponsored events don't typically allow CFers to attend just in case. Now I will say that this wasn't a strict rule until right around the time I graduated high school, but this book isn't that old so I can't excuse that error. Now granted, not all CFers are contagious to each other, but I find it hard to believe that both her old mentor AND Ashley are the same genetic mutation as she is.

And finally, she can tell she needs IV antibiotics for weeks (or possibly months, it was unclear) but she just refuses to tell anyone? And then she just DIES? I find it amazing that no one could tell that she was that sick, because whenever I need IVs it's pretty obvious to my husband and my family. I felt like her death was so unnecessary, and to be honest it pissed me off. Maybe if she had done her breathing treatments and actually told her dad she needed IVs, she wouldn't have been to the point where there was no saving her.

Seriously, this book just pissed me off. CF is already hard enough to explain to people, and even my family doesn't truly understand what my day-to-day life is like. So a book like this that basically craps on the disease and gives false information to readers just really infuriates me.

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

This sat on my shelf for ages because I suspected it would be a tough read. A teen with cystic fibrosis? But I was pleasantly surprised, because rather than taking advantage of every opportunity to wring a tear from his readers' eyes, Halpin treats the majority of the book as a smart, thoughtful YA story. Sure, Brianna spends time thinking about her own mortality and her illness, her role as a mentor to a younger girl with CF, and her own mentor who recently died - but it's also got all those classic high school moments, which serve to emphasize how Brianna's life is different without turning the whole thing into a pity party. Then there's her love of math, and the fascinating conversations she gets into with her math teacher - they don't require remembering anything you learned in high school, and my eyes didn't glaze over from the geekdom, but the story doesn't shy away from the fact that Bri is looking forward to going to MIT and being surrounded by math nerds. And this is really an important part of the story, not just a fact about Bri to make her seem unique. AND it didn't make me cry until right at the end, which I appreciated.

It's a quick, easy read without sacrificing any thoughtfulness - recommended to teens who like realistic stories.

One mild spoiler - I couldn't help but wonder what the story would've been like if it cut off before her death, leaving the reader knowing that she'll die before too long, but without actually writing the death scene. I don't think it would've made the story any less sad, and I'm not saying that a death scene is easy to write, but it would be refreshing to read an illness story that doesn't actually end with the death (or maybe I've just read too many books like this). Regardless, I think it's a great example of the genre.

[Brandy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Brianna is just about to start her senior year of high school: all regular classes, plus AP Calc. But despite being a math whiz, she's not really gung-ho about applying to colleges, because she's not sure if her cystic fibrosis will allow her to even live long enough to bother. She knows her time is limited, and so she spends that time with her friends, her family, and yes, with calculus--people and ideas that make her happy. Brianna is more or less a regular teenager who goes to parties, helps her friends through boyfriend troubles and parents' divorces, and just happens to have a terminal illness. Her mortality is never far from her mind, but CF isn't her defining characteristic. She bonds with her calculus teacher (who is himself staring an early death in the face due to heart disease) as they discuss life, living, and the importance of infinitely small numbers--and people.

The writing is a little clunky in places, though: the line "Even the fact that guys were buzzing around Melissa like bees did to that honeysuckle bush near the beach in the summer didn't bother Brianna" was a particular delight to parse. On the whole, though, I liked this better than I'd expected to. It's not maudlin the way Lurlene McDaniel books are; Brianna is very relatable as a character. The novel does require some suspension of disbelief, particularly in that Brianna is not the only student with CF at her high school, but her friend Ashley has it, too. It is a tearjerker, of course, as we head toward the inevitable conclusion, but really this is about Brianna's relationships with the people around her.

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why do I keep reading books that make my heart hurt?

That's a rhetorical question considering I don't have an answer to it, nor should there be an answer. Anyways, this book was absolutely breathtaking. It is by far one of the better father/daughter relationship stories I have read and it is also a smart and well written novel.

First off all, the main protagonist is a female and likes math. How many times can you say that an author goes outside the box? That and she is friends with cheerleaders and Adam who is a fellow M.I.T hopeful like her. I like how well developed Brianna is, in a lot of ways she reminds me of Hazel Grace from "The Fault in Our Stars," but unlike Hazel does want to live...but still thinks about her impeding death with CF. She is an interesting and complex character.

I also love Brianna's father, I mean he has a tattoo of his daughter's name and a heart around it. He also rides a motorcycle, and loves his daughter unconditionally. It's wonderful to read about because a lot of times in books the relationships with father's tend to be rocky and it's always the father's fault--never the mothers. In this case, it is the mother's fault.

This book is incredibly quick, and the pacing is fantastic. However, the ending--why???

To end, people you need to read this book! Really you do! Like, right now!

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

As I was reading this, I thought it was an ARC due to the number of typos and errors, but I realized at the end that this was a published copy available on Amazon. The content of the story would earn 3 stars, but I had to take away a star for failing to spell check or fix these errors.
This book reminded me of The Fault in Our Stars so many times I had to compare publication dates and discovered this was published first. I have to wonder if John Green stole the idea of infinitesimals from this novel.
SPOILER ALERT
As I started reading the book, I was annoyed by the use of the third person limited narrator. I felt like the story could be told much better in first person from Brianna. This was my first clue that the author planned to kill off the main character in the end. I felt like her death was contrary to her realization that she wanted to go to college and have a future in the middle of the book. It seemed like she would have wanted to fight more for her future and not just ignore the sickness and give up everything.
I applaud the author for touching on the topic of someone with CF but I feel like he left the readers with little hope. I have friends with CF who have lived into their 30's and 40's and have had children and families. I feel like it makes the lifespan of someone with CF seem fairly bleak if two of three characters in the book die during senior year.

[Madison · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my favorite books of all time. I first read it as a junior in High School, and related to deeply to some of the issues that the protagonist faces. While I did not have the added stress of dealing with cystic fibrosis, I felt empathy towards her feelings of meaninglessness. Somehow, Halpin describes life and death in a way that makes each individual seem meaningful. I felt comforted in his descriptions of infinity, rather than terrified as I normally do. The voice was beautiful and there were passages that touched me so deeply that I framed them. The ending was beautiful, and was not overwritten or trite.

“But here, Ms. Pelletier, is the thing. Without infinitesimals, the calculus as we know and love it simply wouldn't exist. It is these nearly-zero, sort-of-zero, sometimes-zero quantities that allow us to understand the world. Something which seems to be nearly nothing turns out to be crucial to everything. So though I, or for you that matter, or any of us, may be, as a collection of atoms, practically indistinguishable from zero, this does not necessarily mean we are insignificant. Indeed, it may be that we are actually crucially important.”
― Brendan Halpin, Forever Changes

[Marta Koperska · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cant believe i'm saying this, but this book may just be as good as The Fault In Our Stars. I actually think I liked it even more. I couldn't stop crying at the ending. It's amazing how this book shows us in a very subtle way how life is made up of the little things. I could relate to Brianna in so may ways. The way the overanalyzes everything is so relateable. The characters are so likeable and comparable to real people that we all know. Even though this is a quick read (finished it in about an hour and a half) the characters develop so much and we see so many aspects of their lives. Even though we see teen drinking and refrences to sex and drugs, i don't see the big deal. We are all exposed to these things almost everyday, and there's no point to complain. If your worried about the drugs and curse words, you shouldn't be reading at all because your missing the author's point. Anyway, I would definetly recommend this book. Great read!!!!

[Clementine · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's not like the books that I usually read, but right now I am having troubles with myself, and I read this and somehow, the Mathematical statements he did made me think critically, about life and things in it, and how small things make up a whole and every infinitesimals are important and beautiful. Might reread this before I die, ha.

The fact that this is not merely the typical YA novel made it even better. Also, it made me think of Mathematics in a different light. I've always hated it, but with Halpin (or Mr. Eccles, I would like to believe), he made me WANT to really know what it is, and for me to be able to understand such a strange but beautiful, if not crazy, thing is to study Mathematics and be some kind of math whiz (kidding but yeah, I'm taking kumon). It's a really good book, and I didn't actually expect that when I started it.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I went to the library last week, I was just trying to find a few books that would hold me for 2 weeks. This was one I grabbed due to the name and the cover. The title itself, at first glance, made me think it was oxymoronic. It's really not.

Brianna has cystic fibrosis. She's dealt with it her whole life. But now that she's starting her senior year in high school, she just wants to be normal. She wants to hang out with her two best friends and go to parties. She wants to be able to sleep in instead of getting up at 5:30 every morning to have the snot knocked out of her (literally). Sometimes, your idea of forever changes...

I knew what I was getting into with this book. Main character is fatally sick? Three guesses how the book ends. So, I knew. And I cried anyway.

[Michael Schmid · Rating 4 out of 5]

Was für ein Buch ...

Auch wenn ich am Anfang noch nicht so ganz in die Geschichte rein kam und es auch stellenweise ein wenig "langatmig" wirkte, gab es doch immer wieder unglaublich tolle Stellen, Szenen und Sätze, dass man es einfach nicht aus der Hand legen wollte.

Was definitiv für das Buch spricht, sind die letzten Seiten. Ich hatte gute 10 Seiten durchweg glasige Augen und stand am Schluss kurz davor, eine Träne zu vergießen, was bei mir wirklich viel heißt.

Diese Geschichte hat mich ganz schön aufgewühlt, bewegt und ich muss das alles jetzt erst einmal ordentlich sacken lassen.

Absolute Empfehlung von mir ... mehr will ich auch nicht mehr sagen ...

[Gerri Leen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adore this author. His stories invariably have something tragic in them, but they also provide truly uplifting moments, and I'm not sure anyone out there is writing as interesting a dynamic for families as this man does. This story is as good as the others--Donor Boy is my favorite, but I've not read anything by him yet that's not excellent--and is an incredibly fast read. The slimness of the book should not be mistaken for lack of content or meaning. Great book.

Rated: A+

[Courtney Lavallee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up this book thinking "oh it's gojng to be stupid, look at the cover, it's already corny." And then I started reading it and I just couldn't put it down. The ending still has me dazed, like I still can't believe what happened, because the way the author was writing it didn't really give away anything, and if the author did maybe I just didn't want to believe it. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to confuse themselves, to anyone who wants a good cry or laugh.

[Madi · Rating 4 out of 5]

The beginning was slow and that's why I didn't give it the fifth star. Other than that, I loved this. It was so deep yet somehow short! That's a talent. The characters weren't as developed in the end as I expected them to be but maybe that's what made it so unique. Warning: I sobbed for fifteen minutes finishing this. SOBBED.

[Rhonda Campbell · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am having a hard time with this book. At times it feels unrealistic and it is supposed to be realistic fiction. I understand the whole overarching idea being presented, but the characters seem too one dimensional for me.

Upon reaching the end of this book, I still found it somewhat sterile and one dimensional.

[Stephanie A. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I loved math more so I could fully appreciate it. I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt between 3 and 4 stars because cystic fibrosis hasn't been a real popular topic as of late, and I enjoyed the update in treatment.

[Julianne Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this book. One of the reasons I like it is because it is told from a third person point of view and a first person point of view. It shows everybody's feelings and thoughts and I understood it better! I also like it because of her situation and the fact she's still happy.

[Katy · Rating 5 out of 5]

the best book about a dying teenager in the world

[Tracy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eh. A very high school, paint-by-numbers, chronic illness tale. I'd like to kidnap Adam though. Fun character.

[Breanna Honl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a tear-jerker for sure! this book is defiantly one of my all-time favorites!!!!! i urge you to read this book.

[Breanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

wow....this book was beautifully written. it was one of the first books to ever make me cry at the end.

[Ciera · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book literally cracked my heart in two pieces. Books like this make you realize to be grateful for the life you have. One of my favorites, one of the saddest, you won't forget it.

[Davina · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars.

Brendan Halpin, you're killin' me here with the tear-jerkers! Good thing I like tear-jerkers...

Good book for teens who like realistic fiction with a dash of gut-wrench.

[Brandee Terry · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a quick read and was terrific. I loved the humor and sarcasm throughout the book and the ending was amazing.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reread this book multiple times

[Tadgh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Particularly moving to me, and not in an inspiration porn way. Much of this book has shaped me and my outlook on life.