Waking Up

by Terry L. Wise, Rabbi Harold S. Kushner (Foreword)

New Version Available 2012.  In 2012, an updated edition of Waking Up was published by The Missing Peace, LLC.  Please search for this new edition which contains bonus interviews, resources, and downloadable materials!

Please visit TerryWise.com for Speaking Schedule and Additional Information.

Genres: Memoir, Psychiatry, Psychology

208 pages, Paperback

First published December 1, 2003

Reviews

[Dri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a profound book. The book opens with the chapter in which the author, Tery Wise, described her suicide attempt in excruciating details. The only thing unplanned regarding her attempt was her survival. She even went so far as to research out recipes of medications to be given as a form of assisted suicide for the terminally ill, and eventually took enough of a dose of alcohol, Percocet, and morphine that "would have killed an elephant." This woman definitely wanted to die. The fact that she lived to tell her story is a miracle. What is so unique about this book is that Terry is able to not only describe the depths of her dark days (or rather dark decades), but also describe the tangled psychological mess that often develops in the minds of abuse victims. What is even more amazing is Terry's healing process through the therapeutic alliance she developed with her psychologist, Dr.Joseph. Dr.Joseph struck me as a kind of a renaissance psychologist who is willing to step out of her professional confinement to help her patients through unconventional means (think Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting). While others establishes clear "boundaries" to remain professionally detached, Dr.Joseph allows the rules and lines to be bent in order to save Terry, and indeed this is what ultimately saves Terry in the end. I found myself completely engrossed in Terry's narration of her journey as she emerged from the depths of her despair to see through the light at the end of the tunnel with the help of her therapist's guidance. I would highly recommend this book to anyone interested in the issues surrounding depression and the process of therapy.

[Jemma · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I enjoyed reading this and thought there were some really great therapy moments — it seemed like Terry struggled with a deep fear of abandonment and an understandable need for proof that she truly matters — so much so that she felt like the therapist risking her career was the only way to confirm she was cared for. I don’t like the way the key (to the percosets i.e Oxycodone) was handled because it suggests that boundaries in therapeutic care aren’t enough; she needs an exception to feel valued.

At the same time, it puts the therapist in an untenable position. While their instinct might be to help in any way they can, crossing ethical boundaries isn’t just about rules but about maintaining a framework that ultimately protects both the client and the therapist. It also reinforces the message that being cared for equates to someone proving this through self-sacrifice. This likely extends a deep wound, potentially tied to past experiences where love and care felt conditional or unreliable.

Despite the positive outcomes for Terry, I believe she still could have reached this point without the therapist blurring professional boundaries. For example, a therapist’s role is to provide good treatment and help a client better understand themselves, not to act as a custodian or guardian of their personal belongings. Holding onto a key for the client makes the therapist directly involved in managing their personal safety in a way that crosses ethical lines — with the risk of coercion or dependence as well as legal and ethical implications.

I also felt troubled when the therapist guilted Terry into feeling ashamed for having acted on her feelings to hurt herself — because I felt this could have reinforced feelings of shame which were likely maintaining her depression and suicidality.

[Swimmergirl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Engaging and Insightful

I related to this book...its true, sometimes the therapists words or the looks on their face make all the difference--The shifts take place, little by little.

[Abby Estes · Rating 5 out of 5]

"It is getting there that is just as important as arriving there." -pg. 79

[Emmish · Rating 3 out of 5]

Assigned for Barry’s prac. I appreciated the concept of a therapist and client talking about their work together

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was hesitant to post a review of this book because people might jump to certain conclusions after hearing I'd read it. But I think this book has enough potential to be helpful to people dealing with mental illness (either in themselves or a family member or friend) that I wanted to publicize it more, on the off chance that I could influence even one person who might be helped by this book to read it.

This book is a vivid and moving portrait of the author's struggle with grief, depression, and suicidality (including a suicide attempt), and also gives a rare in-depth look at her progress in therapy and relationship with her therapist. It's definitely not the most well-written book in the world, which may be off-putting to some, but the author's good intentions--to tell her story and use it to help others--mostly made up for that for me. It's a pretty tough read in spots (it contains vivid depictions of abuse, suicide attempts, substance abuse, etc), so I would hesitate a bit to recommend it to someone who is, e.g., acutely suicidal. But I think it would definitely be helpful to people struggling with depression, people taking care of depressed family members or loved ones, and also those who have acted as a caregiver for the terminally ill (the author's husband died of ALS, and she discusses caring for him and her feelings about his death at length). This book is also required reading in some clinical psychology programs, so would also be of interest to anyone with an interest (career-wise or otherwise) in that field.

Overall, certainly not a book for everyone, but very rewarding if you can stick it out to the end.

[YZ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5

[Holly Lehman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really just working my whole life to be Dr. Joseph. A great book for therapists and struggling humans alike.