Notes on Blindness: A Journey through the Dark

by John M. Hull

'It's a gift. Not a gift I want, but it is a gift'

Days before the birth of his first son, writer and academic John M. Hull started to go blind. He would lose his sight entirely, plunged into darkness, unable to distinguish any sense of light or shadow. Isolated and claustrophobic, he sank into a deep depression. Soon, he had forgotten what his wife and daughter looked like.

In Notes on Blindness, John reveals his profound sense of loss, his altered perceptions of time and space, of waking and sleeping, love and companionship. With astonishing lucidity of thought and no self-pity, he describes the horror of being faceless, and asks what it truly means to be a husband and father. And eventually, he finds a new way of experiencing the world, of seeing the light despite the darkness.

Based on John's diaries recorded on audio tape, this is a profoundly moving, wise and life-affirming account of one man's journey into blindness.

Notes on Blindness was the basis for a major documentary in 2016.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Disability, Biography, Audiobook, Medicine, Biography Memoir

Kindle Edition

First published February 9, 2017

About the author

John Martin Hull was Emeritus Professor of Religious Education at the University of Birmingham. He was the author of a number of books and many articles in the fields of religious education, practical theology and disability. The latter interest arose from his experiences, and personal and theological reflections, on becoming blind in mid-career. He edited the British Journal of Religious Education for 25 years, and co-founded the International Seminar on Religious Education and Values, of which he was general secretary for 32 years, and president emeritus at the time of his death. After retirement he pursued a further interest as Honorary Professor of Practical Theology at the Queen's Foundation for Ecumenical Theological Education, Birmingham, England.

Reviews

[AMEERA · Rating 4 out of 5]

This breaks the heart and beautiful in the same time 💜

[shakespeareandspice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review originally posted on A Skeptical Reader.

Notes on Blindness is a collection of diary entries that chronicles the author’s journey after he begins to lose his eyesight. In this book, he allows us a glimpse into his personal, professional, and social life. He shares some deeply private moments as well as the shared struggles of a blind person in a world where not every able-bodied person is aware of others.

This book is surprisingly well-written (or rather, narrated since he recorded the entries originally). Hull’s voice is gentle and kind. He is never harsh towards others or self-deprecating. There are times when he shares stories of his depression and self-doubt but even those are told with such patience and understanding of his situation that I could’ve listened to him speak to all day about virtually anything.

Portions of this book are also truly shocking to me as a sighted person who has clearly not taken the time to accommodate others appropriately. He gives quite a few instances that display the ignorant nature of the sighed person even when they do not mean to be cruel to the blind. For example, in one part of the book, he remembers a time when he lost direction as he was walking. He recalls that when he asked a person on the road a simple question of naming the street he was on, the person took it upon themselves to call Hull a taxi and give directions without bothering to ask Hull if he needed help getting a ride at all. Hull states that all he wanted was to know which street he was on so he could retreat and restart but instead he was treated more as if he were a child who was unaware of his direction and even incapable of speaking to a taxi driver himself. Clearly, even when we, the abled, wish to be kind we can be hurtful.

However, there were some duller parts in the book as well. For one, Hull is clearly a deeply religious person and while I could definitely appreciate his wonderings of faith and reality, it is not something I could connect to personally. Similarly, there were also a few sections that felt slightly repetitive. This could be due to having read the book too fast but it is what it is. These are my own difficulties with connecting to the book fully so do not let it deter you from reading it if you are interested.

Notes on a Blindness is an excellent, worthy read of every able-bodied person’s time. Hull’s voice is important in a world that is slowly starting to become aware of those who have been discriminated and misjudged for an extraordinary period of history.

[Claire Fuller · Rating 3 out of 5]

John Hull dictated his thoughts about becoming totally blind in the 1980s when his children were very young. there are many moving and fascinating insights: how rain can create the sense of a place for a blind person, how difficult it is to play with young children when blind, the tragedy of how, when a child climbs on is knee at a party Hull is unsure whether it is his own daughter, and feels he cannot ask. But there were sections on blindness and Christianity which I was less interested in. Still, a really illuminating book.

[shams hoter | · Rating 4 out of 5]

مذكرات العمى ..
أن تقرأ وكأنك معصوب العينين !
يأخذك جون هال بيدك لرحلة في أحلك نقطة في الوجود .
يسقطك في ثقب العمى معه فتشعر ، وتسمع ، وتستنشق كل ما كتبه في مذكراته عند فقدانه بصره وهو في العقد الرابع من عمره .
رجل ذو نظرة متفحصة وثاقبة حوّل بلائه إلى تأملات فلسفية وفيض من المعاني الحكيمة .

[Ahmad Shuhait · Rating 2 out of 5]

أن يتم توظيف الجسد كله للرؤية، أمر صعب
وأن تحاول تفسير ذلك لمن حولك، أمر أشد صعوبة

[محمد الشاطر]

"المبصرون يعيشون في العالم، الاعمي يعيش في وعيه"
تأتي ملاحظات/مذكرات جون هال حول العمى وفقدان الوعي البصري أهميتها من كونه كان بصيرًا لمدة 45 عام من حياته، فكل ملاحظاته الأن تكتسب قوّة وسطوة من خبرة سابقة يحاول التشبث بها مع تنمية طرق جديدة لمعرفة العالم فرضها عليه مرضه، كم هو مُدّعىَ للذعر والإرتباك معرفة كيف أن العالم كله مبني على خبرة مرئية، وهي التي تشكّل يومنا وتتحكم بأنساق الحياة من حولنا، فقدان الرؤية يعني فقدان التواصل مع العالم كما نعرفه، يتحوّل العالم لمجرّد أصوات وإيقاعات، اختفاء الأصوات يعني بالضرورة الظلام والسكون، يَذكر جون في منتصف الكتاب كيف عدم شعروه بالوقت بسبب عماه شئ لا يستطيع تقديره المبصرون، فعندما تكون أعمى وتريد الذهاب لشئ لا تراه، لن يكون لديك أزمة تسارع خطى واستعجال للذهاب، عدم رؤيتك للهدف يجعل حساب الوقت لبلوغه ليس ذي معنى، فالأعمى تلقائيًا يكون أكثر هدؤًا ورزانه وعدم استعجال، أكثر من أعجبني بالكتاب اتساق جون النفسي ووعيه بذاته ونظرته للعالم من حوله في الصلابة الإيمانية وعدم ترك مرضه يتخطى مبادئه وكرامته، فضلًا عن مراعاته لذلّات أصدقائه ومعارفه عندما يتعاملون معه، فهو لا يغضب من تصرفاتهم ملتمسًا لهم العذر عن كونهم لم يتعاملوا مسبقًأ مع شخص كفيف، يأخذ الأمور بهدوء ورزانة يحسد عليهم.

[Natalie (CuriousReader) · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very engaging and thought-provoking memoir, telling of one man's multifaceted experience of blindness in a world presupposing sight.

VIDEO REVIEW: https://youtu.be/43qsg_NLVEM

[Katheryn Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having entirely lost his sight, academic John M. Hull started to make audio diary entries whenever he was struck by a certain event, experience, thought, or dream. The result is this fascinating and thought-provoking book. Hull contemplates the differences between the relationships of the blind and the sighted, he mourns the fact that he cannot remember what his wife looks like or cannot recognise his own child, he discusses the way his children try to understand his blindness, and he celebrates the new way of seeing things which blindness allows.

Notes on Blindness will possibly make you think twice next time you encounter a blind person, remembering Hull's frustration at how sighted people will insist on asking where he is going when he wants to know where he is; it will probably make you laugh, when Hull's son explains to his dad that he needs the light on to be able to see, and cry, when Hull describes his struggle to reconnect with his parents; and it will definitely make you think.

[Jesus Flores · Rating 4 out of 5]

A manera de diario el autor va contando su experiencia de vivir con la ceguera que sufrio ya de adulto, la diferencia entre la gente que ve y la que no, como influye en su vida diara, familiar, laboral, y como reaccionan los demas, que nuevos meyodos desarrolla o aprende, como afecta sus sueños, que siente.


3.5 stars

[Ali Reda · Rating 3 out of 5]

في كتاب "مذكرات العمى" يذكر الكاتب أنه بمرور الوقت بدأ ينسى وجوه المقربين منه، وأن أي محاولة لتذكر الوجوه كما رآها كانت فاشلة تمامًا، لكنه نجح في تذكرها عبر تذكر صورهم، و"كأن إطار الصورة يساهم في تثبيتها في عقله". الحقيقة هي إن الذكريات الحقيقة والمهمة تكون فوضوية بحكم أننا نتذكر بوجداننا أكثر من عقولنا. وما يجعلها فوضوية هو ما يجعلنا بشر لأنه ما يمنع اختزالها وتحديدها في إطارات دقيقة وصارمة.
لكن ما أثار رعب الكاتب هو أن محاولاته لتذكر وجهه عبر الصور كانت فاشلة. والسبب في رأيي هو أننا لا نرى أنفسنا في الصور كمجرد وجوه، ولهذا يظل تذكرنا لأنفسنا، مهما كانت كيفية هذا التذكر أو الوسيط الذي نتذكر عبره، فوضوي وبلا إطار صلب يقاوم تغيرها إلى شيء آخر مع مرور الزمن أو ذوبانها في اللاشيء.
لكن وصولًا إلى تلك الللحظة يظل العمى جزء من تجربته الحياتية والتي حاول التناغم معها لمنع تشذي ذاته عبر إدراك معنى حياته بكل أجزائها، وأظنه قد نجح بفضل المحبة التي نظر بها إلى الإله والعالم والتي نظرت بها أيضًا أسرته إليه.

[Tuva · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing! It's one of those books I think everyone should read. It taught me so much about what it's like to go blind, how you should treat someone who has gone blind.

The way it is written is just beautiful. Hull has an amazing way with words. You can tell from the way he writes that he had a true passion for the art of writing and reading.
If you don't like reading these types of books, then I strongly recommend that you check out the documentary with the same name as this book, it is just as beautiful as this book was.

If you have read this book, then you will know why this book will linger in my head every time it is raining.

[Anouk · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books I'm going to be thinking about for some time to come.

Part memoir, part incredibly sharp philosophical investigation of the nature of human relationships, social inclusion, and communication. Beautifully written. Brilliant.

[Osama · Rating 4 out of 5]

أعجبني الكتاب (مذكرات العمى) من حيث استفادة المؤلف من تجربته وتحويلها لعمل مكتوب يشارك فيه الآخرين خبراته، أفكاره، آلامه، ووصف مشاعره وأحداث حياته. وهذا يدل على أن كل إنسان يحمل في عقله وقلبه وروحه ما قد يسطر به كتاب أو أكثر. كما تعلمت الكثير عن حياة العمى وقدرت ما يشعر به المكفوفون.

[Ginny · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won a copy of 'Notes on Blindness' from the publishers through Goodreads giveaways (yay! Free books!). I'm not sure if I would have picked this up otherwise, but for the most part I'm glad I did. It is a highly intellectual account of one man's experience of losing his sight. It offers hope, wisdom, insight and gives a vivid picture of the impact of blindness on life, interactions and relationships. He never in any way makes us pity him, instead brings into question how we think about and treat people with disabilities. Loss can in fact be a gift and create new ways of viewing the world and how we live in it.

As wonderful as all this is, I did struggle to read this. The writing feels a little disjointed, often repetitive, and can be quite difficult to follow at times. There was no story here, rather a trail of one man's thoughts and experiences transcribed from audio tapes (the title at least is not misleading). I also wanted a more emotional account to connect with John and his experience - this very much stays on intellectual grounds rather than emotional.

[les points cardinaux · Rating 3 out of 5]

Absolutely fascinating and full of humanity, I can easily see myself coming back to this book in the future.

[Dalia Mohamed · Rating 4 out of 5]

عنوان الكتاب (امسك بطرف الخيط أو تجربة العمي ) وهو بالإنجليزية touching the rock وهو تعبير idioms لا يترجم ترجمة حرفية وعند الترجمة لا تنقل المعني ، المعني المقصود هو "لقد فعلتها" أو "استطعت فعل الحد الأدنى من المهمة رغم صعوبتها"

"المبصرون يعيشون في العالم ، الأعمي يعيش في وعيه."
مذكرات جون هال عن العمي بعد ٤٥ عاما من الإبصار ، كل ملاحظاته تكتسب قوة وسطوة من خبرة سابقة يحاول التشبث بها، مع تنمية طرق جديدة لمعرفة العالم فرضها عليه المرض، يذكر جون في منتصف الكتاب كيف أن عدم شعوره بالوقت بسبب العمى شئ لا يستطيع تقديره المبصرون ، فعندما تكون أعمي وتريد الذهاب لشئ لا تراه لن يكون لديك أزمة تسارع خطى واستعجال للذهاب ، عدم رؤية الهدف يجعل حساب الوقت لبلوغة ليس ذي معني ،فالاعمي أكثر هدوء ورزانة

ما أثار رعب الكاتب هو أن محاولاته لتذكّر وجهه عبر الصور كانت فاشلة ..
لكن وصولا لتلك اللحظة يظل العمى جزء من تجربته الحياتية والتى حاول التناغم معها لمنع تشذي ذاته عبر إدراك معني حياته بكل اجزائها وأظنه قد نجح بفضل المحبة التى نظر بها إلى الله والعالم والتى نظرت بها أيضا أسرته إليه ..
أكثر ما أعجبني أتساق جون النفسي ووعيه بذاته ونظرته للعالم من حوله في الصلابة الإيمانية وأتصاله الدائم بالكتاب المقدس وعدم ترك مرضه يتخطى مبادئه وكرامته، فضلاً عن مراعاته لذلّات أصدقاءه ومعارفه في التعامل معه، كان يأخذ الأمور بهدوء ورزانه يحسد عليهم ..

[Amelia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating delve into the perspective of someone who was not born blind, but rather went blind in later life

Even though there is not a strict start middle and ending of the book, apart from the epilogue written by the author's wife following his death, I still found there to be a general narrative over the years as his thoughts change from almost begruding acknowledgement to a deeper acceptance.

There were many aspects of blindness which I had not considered, such as the fact the rain can help a blind person distinguish their surroundings in the way the rain hits the objects, or the general idea that a blind person is very rarely able to start a conversation with a stranger as in many cases they won't even be aware that they are with strangers until someone makes their presence know - therefore relying on the socialness of others in order for themselves to socialise.

And while the author states that the book is only *his* perspective on blindness, I think it is a good delve into the enormity that is being blind.

[الخنساء]

الكتاب تجربة أو رحلة مع أربعيني يصاب بالعمى بعد حياة مبصرة، سنواته الأولى في التكيف مع الظلام التام، التوحد مع السواد، وكيف يتماسك ويستمر بعمله وحياته، فهو باحث في الجامعة، وأب لعدة أطفال وزوج، أبناءه قبل العمى وبعده، كان حديثه عن تجريته موجعاً، فهو لا يحتفظ بصور لأبناءه الذي ولدوا بعد العمى، لا يعرف إن كانو يبتسمون أو يكشرون، ينظرون إليه أو في اتجاه بعيد، حديثه عن التواصل البصري كلن يجعلني أغمض عيني في كل مرة كنت أكون فيها بين أشخاص آخرين لثوان للتجربة، ولم أكمل لأن الأمر صعب.
وصفه للمطر رائع جداً، وكذلك علاقته بابناءه في الأعياد والاحتفالات، كان يجعلني أبكي تأثراً.
تحدث كثيرا عن أخطاء يفعلها المبصرون عادة مع العميان، وددت لو تم التنويه بها في الأماكن العامة لأن المتحمسين كثر!
الترجمة ممتازة حقيقة والموضوع يستحق القراءة واراه يناسب المراهقين حتى

[Schen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poignant and enlightening. This book stayed with me for months after I read it and so I recently returned to read it again. The author himself notes that this is not your “typical” narrative of a blind person who then goes on to do amazing things. He had read many such stories after becoming blind and unlike most such authors, who wrote to inspire or to proclaim a faith, he simply wants to write down his musings on the meaning of blindness. He doesn't claim to tell a story with a clear beginning, middle and end, much less one with a happy ending. In particular, his book has no particular ending “because blindness has no ending. It would be nice to say that a miracle happened, but it didn’t.”

This quote encapsulates Hull’s dispassionate approach to his own blindness. He does not bring in deeper ideas such as faith or an ultimate meaning for why he became blind, nor try to inspire anyone. The book is simply a journal of his thoughts on and experiences with blindness, and the candour is refreshing.

Here are some of his experiences that stood out to me:

He felt a sense of loss that he would never know the faces of his children who were born after he lost his sight. He wondered how his relationship with those children would differ from his relationship with the daughter he had while sighted.

His children took a long time to understand what blindness meant. Initially he would play with his son in a dark room for a long time, and his son assumed that daddy could see in the dark, so never asked to turn on the light. Or his children asking when he would get better, e.g. “When I’m much older, say ten, will daddy be able to see?” “If I cried and put my tears on daddy’s eyes, would he be able to see?” (A question after reading Rapunzel) Or when they asked "Does blindness mean daddy can't see colours?" Hull notes that adults also don't always grasp the full meaning of blindness, e.g. when they give him directions to a building by saying it's "over there".

He missed being able to watch children playing. Not being able to play many kinds of games with his children (except tactile toys like Meccano), or to even observe them playing. He also missed being able to read stories to children or to point out the world around them and explain it.

He found it hard to socialise e.g. during networking sessions or parties because he did not know who else was in the room. It was even more awkward to end conversations because nobody wants to walk away from a conversation with a blind man and leave him standing alone in the room. He developed a strategy of asking his conversational partner to either name who else was in the room, or to introduce him to a new person. (In the process he also learned a lot about his conversational partner's skill - or lack of it - in introducing people!)

His account of a networking session for blind people amused me. Everybody simply starts shouting the name of the person they want to talk to, and moves in that direction if they hear their name being called!

He also missed out on those simple conversations that "just happen" because you saw somebody you know in the corridor (or on the street, or in the office pantry). He used to enjoy sitting in his university staff lounge and chatting with any colleagues who were there. Although he still went to the staff lounge after becoming blind, people who were already there no longer approached him to chat, so he often just sat there bored and alone. Yet when he got up to leave, suddenly many people offered help with navigation. If he had known they were there, he would have wanted to talk to them!

He disliked it when people treated him like a child because of his blindness. E.g. when they spoke to a sighted friend or family member instead of him - in one conversation, someone asked his friends, in relation to getting into a car, "Will John go in the front or the back?" He said something like "John can speak for himself, and will not be treated like a piece of luggage, thank you." Or once when he was lost and asked a passerby for directions to get somewhere, the passerby hailed a cab for him and gave the driver detailed instructions on how to get to the place, which Hull thought was similar to what one would do for a child. Or another time when he asked a woman sitting beside him at some event to cut up his chicken for him, she did so then remarked "It's just like what I do for my kids."

He had bad experiences with people who told him "If only you try __, your blindness will be healed." (E.g. always carry a physical Bible with you, try this medical treatment, try that psychic.) When he refused, they would ask him "But what's the harm of trying it? Don't you want to be healed?" He thought that one of the few things remaining to blind people is their dignity, which he refused to give up in this way.

He loved the rain. (It happens to be raining now as I write this.) To a blind person, the world is only as large as what they can touch or hear. But sounds are intermittent, not continuously available, so the world usually consists of whatever one's body is touching. But when it rains, suddenly a wider world of sound comes into existence around him. He even learned to distinguish the sound of rain dripping from his roof, or falling on his garden path compared to on a shrub, so that he could mentally "see" his garden based on the sound of the rain.

[Mrs. Danvers · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ruminations and thoughts on the state of being blind and illustrations of those thoughts from the daily life of the writer. This book was created from his taped journals and it reads just like that. There are some sparkling insights, enough to keep me reading; not enough for me to strongly recommend it.

[أفنان · Rating 5 out of 5]

لا أجد طريقة لأصف بها عمق أثر هذا الكتاب على نفسي.

[Elke · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is beautiful. It made me wonder about aspects of live I rarely consider. I will be listening to the rain a little closer from now on.

[Trish · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book consists of dated notes where the author considers various aspects of his blindness. He describes his 'sighted' dreams, how he has coped , or not coped, with challenges, his relationships, and most movingly of his conversations with his small children as they struggle to understand his condition.
The writing is warm and I felt I could relate to the author. This makes it easier to understand the experience of blindness.

[Shahira alturkmani · Rating 4 out of 5]

انتهيت من قراءة كتاب#مذكرات_العمى لصاحبه جون_هال و الذي يسرد رحلته و تجربته من عالم المبصرين إلى عالم العمى حيث قضى الأكاديمي #جون_هال سنوات عديدة يعاني من تدهور في بصره ، وفقد بصره أخيرًا وهو في الأربعينيات من عمره ، بعد ولادة طفله الثاني مباشرة. يا إنها قراءة عميقة و سرد مؤثر وصادق وكشف لأفكاره ومشاعره في السنوات القليلة الأولى من العمى التام. كما يسرد عددًا من أحلامه ، بعضها يتعلق بعودة بصره ، والبعض الآخر عن حالات الخطر أو الفقد التي يشعر فيها بالعجز أو القلق. ترتبط هذه الأحلام بحياته اليقظة ، حيث يقوم بتحليلها في محاولة لفهم ما يعنيه العمى حقًا.إنه لا يخشى سرد فترات اكتئابه ، عندما يحتاج إلى الهروب . من أكثر الفصول تأثيرا تلك التي يسرد فيها أفراحه وأحزانه كونه أبًا أعمى. هناك أيضًا رؤى مدهشة حول واقع العمى ، مثل حقيقة أن التعامل مع المساحات المفتوحة أصعب من التعامل مع السلالم .
الخاتمة أتت دافئة ومحبة من قبل أرملة جون هال ، وسرد ملخص قصير عن حياته .
إنه الكتاب المثالي للحصول على مزيد من التبصر في الشعور بالعمى حقًا وكيف يؤثر على الذاكرة والحواس. يخوض هال في التفاصيل حول أحلامه ومخاوفه وكيف يتغير كلاهما بمرور الوقت.هناك تجارب و توصيفات جميلة منها تجربة هال في المطر وإدراكه كيف يمكنه تمييز كل شيء من حوله من خلال صوت وقوع المطر على أشياء و أسطح مختلفة و يشرح قائلا "لو تساقط المطر فقط داخل الغرفة ، فسيساعدني ذلك على فهم مكان وجود الأشياء في تلك الغرفة."
كتاب و بحكم تخصصي في مجال طب و جراحة العيون جعلني أفهم بشكل دقيق و عميق للغاية بعض المشكلات التي يواجهها أولئك الذين يعانون من مشاكل في البصر و القضايا التي يواجهها الكفيف من خلال التفاعل الاجتماعي ، خاصة في مكان مزدحم
مذكرات مؤثرة أعطتني الكثير لأفكر فيه رغم انه مجال عملي و أتعرض للكثير من المرضى ذوي الإعاقة البصرية و لكن أحيانا نحتاج أن ننظر للأمر من زاوية مختلفة ، ليس فقط في كيفية وجود العمى أو المكفوفين في مجتمع يعتمد كثيرًا على المرئيات ، ولكن تأثير البصر في العلاقات ، ولغتنا ، وقدرة الأفراد على التواصل للعالم من حولهم.
كتاب رائع أنصح به و المفاهيم الواردة في هذا الكتاب ستبقى معي لفترة طويلة
و هنا لا بد من أن أشيد بترجمة الطبيب شريف بقنة الجيدة جدا و التي نقل فيها هذه المذكرات بحرفية و مهارة عالية
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[أمجاد المشوّح · Rating 4 out of 5]

يدوّن جون مذكراته حول فقده للبصر، وهو الذي فقده تدريجيًا في عمر السابعة عشر. يدّونها من اللحظات الصغيرة في يومه، والتي تشهد حساسية وعدم تقبله لأن يفقد حاسة كهذه. تتفاجأ بأن الاعوام تمضي وهو في موضعه الحساس هذا!
يكتب عن سخريته من استعمال مفردات المبصرين كـ "سررت برؤيتك" أو "أراك بالجوار". يعلل بأنها ذاكرة العالم التي تعتمد على الصور والتعابير.

عن حياته ووظيفته كأبٍ كفيف، وعدد المرات التي يشير فيها طفله الصغير لمظهر السماء الساحر من نافذة السيارة.. يقول بأنه حاول تذكيره بأنه لا يستطيع أن يريني شيئًا. علاقته بأطفاله ومواقف غريبة، كتقبلهم للعب في غرفة ظلماء وجون الاعمى لا يلحظ هذا اصلاً.

يردد كثيرًا في مدونته كلمات مثل "العدم والجهل" ويحفظ في ذاكرته تجربة هلع مريرة جرّاء العمى والظلام القاسي. تكدّسات كثيرة كنسيان ملامح وجهه، وتآكل ذاكرته كطفلٍ مبصر وجوعه المستمر لتذكر الصور واللوحات.. ووجه رفيقة دربه. الأخيرة، التي لا زالت الدهشة من أن جون يذكر صورة لزوجته في طفولتها، لوحة قديمة يحفظها من أيام بصره.

تأثرت يوم كتب " العمى يسلب المرء حقوقه الإقليمية. يخسر المرء ارضه. تقريبا كل الاراضي تصبح عدوًا محتملا، فقط المنطقة التي يمكن أن يمسها الجسد أو تنقرها العصا تصبح مساحة يمكن للمرء ان يعيش فيها. غير ذلك يظل كل شيء مجهولا!"

كان جون في حياته المبصرة كائن اجتماعي بطبعه، ولذا كان أثر العمى عليه بالغًا.. فهو يفكر كل مرة: كيف يصل الى رفاقه بمكان مزدحم؟ كيف يبدأ حديثا صغيرا مع زميل يمر بجانبه؟
كيف لا يثير هلعه أن يلمس احد ما كتفه ويلقي التحية خلسة.. وجون لم يره؟

عن شعور الأعمى في الصمت.. غرفة مليئة بالاشخاص لكنهم يختارون الصمت في لحظة ما. فعالم الاحداث والحركة هو عالمهم المرهون بوجودهم.

الكثير من التفاصيل المكتوبة، والقصص التي لم أقدر على المضي دون التفكير فيها مليًا.. اللهم إني اعوذ بك من زوال نعمتك.

[Hazel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.

It is not often a blind man writes a book, and “write” is a word used due to the lack of a better. John M. Hull gradually lost his sight, registering as blind in 1980, a couple of days before the birth of his son. Although anticipating the event, John struggled to come to terms with his new circumstances and adjust to a new way of living. From 1983 through to 1985, John recorded his thoughts on tape, in diary form, as a way to ascertain and understand his predicament. Originally titled Touching the Rock (1990), John’s book has been republished as Notes on Blindness after the release of the film of the same name.

Initially, John made recordings every day, dictating the everyday occurrences he encountered. Amazingly, despite his disability, John was able to continue as a university lecturer and delve deeper into the world of theology. The way John thinks things through as he speaks reflects his academic abilities. Although he may have despaired at the thoughts of not being able to see his children, he had a fairly positive outlook on life.

John’s thought capacity and religious ideology are evident in his assemblage of diary entries. As a blind person, he learns to see the world in an alternative way, and often feels closer to God as a result. Through these new experiences, John begins to see the light despite the darkness.

The metaphorical descriptions of blindness help the reader to understand the horror and difficulties not being able to see visually provokes. This is heightened by John’s recordings of the bad dreams he often suffers, in which he is able to see. His fixations on these dreams are assumedly a fascination with visual imagery, which he does not have access to in his waking life.

It is hard not feel sorry for John as he reports the conversations he has with his young children. The effort to communicate and play with them is far greater than a seeing parent. Remarkably, as John begins to adjust to his new lifestyle, his children take the situation in their stride.

Notes on Blindness is also an educational narrative for those without sight problems. John explains the things other people, in attempts to be helpful, do that result in making things far more confusing for John as he tries to navigate his way from one place to another. Despite what most think, blind people are fairly good at walking routes they are familiar with, and, with the help of a stick, can safely travel through new areas. Once people start shouting instructions, it is difficult to pay attention to the location and listen to everyone else at the same time.

John’s voice is extremely articulate, and his thoughts profound, which may suggest heavy editing when compiling the recordings into written form. However, as he is an academician, his eloquence of speech does not feel forced or faked.

Notes on Blindness remains the same as the original publication but with the added inclusion of an introduction by Cathy Rentzenbrink, and an epilogue by his wife Marilyn, written in 2016, a year after his death. These, the latter in particular, provide an insight into how John’s blindness affected those around him and emphasises what a truly remarkable man he was.

Of the many memoirs available on bookshelves today, Notes on Blindness is a truly unique publication. It is not telling a story, or recounting a well-lived life, but gives great insight into the world of the blind. As John’s thoughts were not originally recorded with intention of being available to everyone, they are all the more personal and honest, provoking emotion and providing the reader with a new way of seeing. It is a book that will stay with you for a very long time.

[Jenny Cooper · Rating 5 out of 5]

John Hull (the author) was registered blind just as his first son was born, having suffered a gradual deterioration in his eyesight for a few years before that. This deterioration continued until he lost any capacity for vision at all, not even being able to distinguish light from dark. The book is a very candid and highly intelligent record of his feelings, emotions and thoughts over a period of three years, starting at the point where his sight failed completely. It is written in the form of a diary, annotated from recordings which he started to make as the reality of the situation began to sink in.

John’s observations are fascinating, detailing not only the inevitable depression which followed but also numerous practical issues which he encountered on a daily basis. Many of these centre around the way that well-meaning sighted people interact with him, often causing unintended irritation, humiliation and isolation. His descriptions of what he is going through brought home to me the enormity of the challenges which he faced and his analysis and understanding of his journey into blindness is approached with both wisdom and lucidity.

I read this book in bite-sized chunks. This was not intentional but was, I believe, very successful. I do not think I would have done it justice if I had tried to read too much in one sitting. There is an enormous amount of information to both digest and process and a lot of the reasoned arguments and deep insights require thought on the part of the reader if they are to be fully appreciated. John is clearly a highly intelligent individual and his observations are both profound and thought-provoking. They are also often tender and warm-hearted. There is nothing trite about this book. John never pretends that being blind is easy. There are times when he really struggles with accepting his condition and times when his only way of coping is to withdraw from his surroundings altogether and take himself off to somewhere familiar where he can be alone, just to try and gather the strength to face the world once more. He does have a strong faith but this certainly doesn’t override either the book or his attitudes to life - religion is dealt with in the same pragmatic way as all the other issues that he addresses.

From beginning to end this book is well written, easy to understand and informative. I believe it should be read by everybody, blind or sighted, who has an interest in blindness and probably by most people who don’t. It really is an amazing book.

[Azalea Hudson · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Notes on Blindness" is an autobiographical account by John M. Hull, who began recording his experiences on cassette tapes as he adapted to becoming blind. The book delves into his struggles, reflections, and the profound transformation in how he perceives life and the world around him. Hull’s recordings offer a vivid portrayal of his inner journey, capturing the essence of his dreams, his newfound appreciation for rain, and his efforts to remain connected with his family and faith despite his blindness.

I loved the audiobook version of "Notes on Blindness." John Hull's personal recordings are not only a proof of his struggle to adapt to blindness but also an exploration of his new way of perceiving life. His descriptions are so vivid that you can almost see the colors in his dreams and feel the rain as he describes his love for it, which gives him a sense of place in the world. The way he narrates his desperate attempts to grasp sanity, cope with new challenges, and interact with his young children and devoted wife is both touching and inspiring. His fear of going blind and his unshakable faith in God leading him through this dark path resonate deeply, making this book a must-read or listen for anyone wanting to understand what it is like to live with blindness.

John Hull's reflections and quest for answers make us question our own lives and what we hold dear. His ability to articulate his internal struggles and the beauty he finds in his altered perception of the world is remarkable. The audiobook immerses you in Hull's journey, making you feel his fear, faith, and resilience. It is a reminder of the human spirit's ability to adapt and find meaning even in the face of profound challenges.

I truly recommend the audiobook or book. A must read.

[Fatma Alrawahi · Rating 5 out of 5]

الكتاب عبارة عن سيرة ذاتية أو بالأحرى تحفة فنية لمحاضر جامعي أصابه مرض في عينيه، فضعف بصره ثم فقده تمامًا. كان لدى جون قدرة غير عادية على العمل. كان مدرسًا يتمتع بخبرة تزيد عن خمسة و َخمسين عاماً. كان أكاديميًا ناجحًا ومفكرًا رائدًا في التعليم الديني، لقد حمل تعليمه بكل خفة و دائما ما كان يضع نفسه كمتعلم وليس كخبير.

لقد قرأ الكثير من الروايات التي سردها المكفوفين حتى يستطيع أن يكتشف نمط حياته الجديد ويتعرف على المفاهيم الجديدة للظلام الدامس والغموض.

كان بجانبه صناديق سوداء تخزّن مئات الساعات من تسجيلات الكاسيت لملاحظاته الصوتية عن الكتب المقروءة والكتب المراد كتابتها، والمحاضرات والرسائل والتأملات لكل أحداث يومه والمواقف التي يتعرض لها ثم تم تفريغ هذه التسجيلات للكتاب الورقي.

يسرد في كتابه تأملات عميقة من رحلة الظلام بجميع تفاصيلها و يختصر لنا أن المكفوفين ليس لديهم عالم في متناول اليد ويمكن الوصول إليه، ولكن فقط منطقة يمكن البلوغ إليها والشعور بها لمجرد ملامسة القدمين على الأرض. الأعمى لا يعرف ما إذا كان هناك منعطف على الطريق أو ما إذا كان هناك مجموعة من التلال في طريقه. وبالتالي فإن الأعمى يفتقر إلى الحافز لتكوين هدف ملموس من شأنه أن يحوّل شيئًا ما تم إدراكه إلى شيء محقق بالفعل.

وأعتقد جون أيضًا أن ليس كل شيء مُظلم مع اختفاء البصر في الداخل والخارج، ثمة أنماط إدراك أخرى تصبح أكثر كثافة وأهمية وخاصة تلك المتعلقة بالسمع واللمس. هنالك مقارنة مستمرة في ثنايا الكتاب، لطبيعة الرؤية والسمع، والتباين الرئيسي بين التجربة البصرية والسمعية.

أدرك جون أن شدة شعوره بالعمى تتناسب مع وجوده مع الأشخاص الذين يتوق إلى مشاركة حياتهم. على سبيل المثال لا يشعر بالعمى عندما يكون في العمل. معظم ما يفعله بالجامعة يتم بشروطه وعلى طريقته. جميع الطلاب تكيفوا مع يومياته و طريقة عمله، لأن هدفه أن يشاركهم بأفكاره أكثر من كونه مشاركة للحياة.

#مذكرات_العمى #جون_هال #رحلة_عبر_الظلام

[ديـم · Rating 4 out of 5]

كتب "جون هال" هذه المذكرات بعد أن فقد بصره، وروى رحلته التي مرّ بها بتفاصيلها المظلمة، وعلاقته بأطفاله الذين لم يستوعبوا معنى العمى وظلوا يسألونه إن كان سيسترد بصره قريبًا.

إنها مذكرات لا ترتكز على شيء بعينه أو إنسانٍ بذاته، وإنما على التجربة كاملة، تجربة العمى، كونه كان مبصرًا لعقود ترّدى فيها بصره شيئًا فشيئًا حتى فقده كليًا وصار كفيفًا. يصف عصاه البيضاء التي يعتمد عليها في سيره، والشوارع التي يقطعها، والناس الذين يساعدونه إن رأوه على وشك أن يصطدم بشجرةٍ أو يكون ضحيةً لحادث سير. يتحدث عن أطفاله قرة عينه، عن وجوههم التي لا يعرفها، عن زوجته التي بات لا يراها؛ فقال له الناس أنها ستظل شابةً في نظره، عن صور الناس والأماكن غير المحدثة في دماغه، عن الابتسامات التي لا يلحظها والكلمات التي تغيرت مفاهيمها ومدلولاتها مثل "هنا" و "هناك" و "انظر".

ذكر جون أن العمى سلب منه أشياء كروحه الاجتماعية التي تتحدث مع الجميع وتنخرط في المحادثات دون حواجز، إذ صوّر العمى كشيءٍ يفقدك حواسك الأخرى أيضًا، فحتى لو سمع ما يقوله الذي بجانبه، لا يعلم هل هو مبتسم أم عابس، قريب بحيث يستطيع لمسه أم بعيد، ينظر إليه أم ملقٍ إليه ظهره، ففضّل الصمت في هذه المواقف والانعزال بنفسه في جوٍ صاخب.

ومن أوجع المقارنات التي ذكرها وقد توقفت عندها كثيرًا، عندما قارن السمع بالبصر وقال إن الإنسان يسمع نفس الصوت عند التفاته من جميع الجهات، في حين أنه يرى مناظرَ مختلفة ما إن يشيح ببصره يمنةً ويسرة، ويقول أيضًا: «المبصرون يعيشون في العالم، الأعمى يعيش في وعيه.»، فالحمدلله على نعمة البصر..