No marriage is perfect. But every marriage can get better.
No More Perfect Marriages is about having the right expectations and growing in love and grace. Guiding couples in the fundamentals of marital health, Jill and Mark share how they came back from infidelity and restored intimacy to their marriage. Read this book to guard against the seven "slow fades" that threaten every marriage, and get tools and tips for cultivating a stronger connection with your spouse.
I have previously only read a few books relating to marriage and most of them are from a Christian perspective. This book is also written from a Christian perspective. This book focuses on helping married couples figure out their individual personalities so that they can improve their interactions and communications with their spouse. It has a lot of good information that can help couples understand why the other person is reacting a particular way or feeling a particular feeling. The book is broken down into 11 chapters that each deal with a particular topic and include a variety of tools, charts, scripture, personal stories from the authors and activities to help readers further understand what is being presented in each chapter. The book contains a great a deal of information to help couples figure our their personality types and use that information to communicate and react in a better way towards each other.
I enjoyed reading this book and think that it presented a great deal of useful information. I do have to say that I don't think every married couple would find this useful. For example, I dated my husband for 7 years before we got married (we're been married 2 years in July) so we've been together for a total of 9 years. We met when he was 21 and I was 23, so I feel like we also did a lot of growing up together, since both of us waited until we were in our mid-twenties to go to college. Anyway, being with someone for that long, I already know exactly what his personality is, as well as my own and there really have not been any surprises in the way we communicate for about 4 years because we know each other so well. However, it was useful to read through the different personality types and look at which ones fit each of us. I would certainly recommend this book to newly married couples or couples who only knew each other for a short time before getting married, I think they would find it the most useful.
Thank you to the publisher for sending me a review copy.
True intimacy involves both knowing and being known in all our imperfection. It requires humility to stop the illusions and see things as they really are, wisdom to tackle the lies, courage to push through the fear, compassion to be safe for your spouse to be honest with, acceptance to be able to embrace your and your spouse's messy reality, forgiveness to handle the disappointments, grace to embrace your shared humanity, and love to bear, believe, hope, and endure all things you experience as you move from trying to "be perfect" to "being perfected" and more like Christ each and every day.
The above mentioned quote alone is enough to encourage anyone to see the hope in marriage done well. But how do you get there? How do you get there without the support of your spouse? This is journey to help you take a look at yourself and how you can live in reality with your imperfect marriage. The author works with couples and shares their own marriage journey to live in that freedom. It addresses our need for intimacy and how to get there and even in the struggle, how we can leave ourselves vulnerable. Putting up walls always leads to resentment and bitterness. The walls that we put up for protecting our hearts, leads to destruction.
Stopping the painful cycles in marriages can start with one person by engaging with your spouse differently. In our communication, what does our spouse really hear. What expectations are not being met and most importantly what are our unknown expectations.
In our imperfect marriage, we can strive to do relationships in a way that honors God and his purpose. This text reflects that and makes marriage an opportunity for the gospel. I highly recommend.
A Special Thank You to Moody Publishing and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.
Jill and Mark Savage have written a real book about real marriage. In No More Perfect Marriages, the authors use their own marriage as a model of both what to do, and what to avoid, in order to have a strong and vibrant marriage. The book begins by explaining the concept of a “slow fade” in marriage, which occurs when spouses each make seemingly insignificant choices - often without realizing it - that may eventually result in a crisis in their marriage. For the remainder of the book, the authors share more about seven specific slow fades. They employ the image of a tool box filled with specific God-tools that can be used to fight against these seven slow fades.
One of my favorite aspects of No More Perfect Marriages is that Jill and Mark wrote this book together. Both of their voices are clearly heard, and this adds to the authenticity of the book. The reader is able to get both Jill and Mark’s perspectives on each issue, making the book and its message even more valuable and relevant.
I strongly recommend this book to any married couple, as well as to couples who have been married for many years. The tools in this book will be helpful to anyone who wants a stronger, healthier marriage. Furthermore, I suggest that engaged and newly-married couples read this book together - having this book to read early in my own marriage would have been extremely helpful to my husband and I during those early years. I highly recommend this book.
I love this book! I was part of the launch team and got to preview the book. It's a great resource. Mark and Jill are very open and candid about their marriage relationship and struggles. They are not afraid to delve into the hard topics. Their openness gives authenticity to their words. I love that they give tools to help us fix the issues we struggle with such as minimizing your emotions or that of your partners. It’s not just about reading the words but the tools they teach help us go out and DO. I like too that they talk about dealing with your own issues and how those personal issues may be contributing to the problems in our marriages. This is a great book for married couples to read. It’s an investment into your marriage. If you are a single person you can still gain a lot from reading it because ti’s about relationships and many of the principals and tools can be used in all kinds of relationships.
No More Perfect Marriages by Mark and Jill Savage is a great resource for any married couple. It’s an in-depth study that helps married couples figure out their own personalities and how those personalities interact with their spouses. It has wonderful resources, great advice and wonderful insight into “why people think, react, feel, etc.” like they do.
This is a book that shouldn’t be read lightly. It’s a wonderful resource to read slowly and savor and then keep on your bedside for deeper reflection. In addition, it’s a great book to read multiple times, targeting certain sections for when tune ups are needed. A valuable resource that you will want to share with your friends by buying them their own copy because you won’t want to lose your own copy.
I received this book for free in exchange for being a part of the launch team however, all opinions expressed are solely mine.
This book should be on every married couple's bookshelf. It's a great resource, whether one spouse reads it, or both read through it together! I love how honest and real Mark and Jill were as they described the struggles in their relationship and unpacked what tools they used to improve their marriage! This book gives such a practical, honest, and hopeful perspective-that no marriage can be perfect, but every marriage has room to grow!
The book “No More Perfect Marriages” by Mark and Jill Savage came at a time when I needed it most! This book is the real deal! Raw and uncut comes to mind when trying to describe this to others. This book contained real life stories and advice that helped when I really needed to refocus. Things seem to be falling apart in many areas of my life. It was time for a change, and that change had to start with me. Looking to put in the work for your not so perfect marriage? This is the book for you!
This books hits a home run as far as honesty and vulnerability is concerned. This is most apparent at the beginning and won me over as a reader. I have read and reviewed several books on marriage, and this goes straight to the heart of the matter. I highly recommend it!
The focus is obvious from the title itself - marriage is the union of two flawed individuals living under the grace of God. Given this premise, the only thing that can sustain the relationship is a continual growth and understanding of this grace - upon us, and toward each other. The books deals with the issue on ‘slow fades’ or gradual erosion of a marriage’s foundation (love and respect), and the issue on sweeping things under a rug, or hidden behind a mask.
The book is written sort of like a personal devotional or a group discussion material. However, I believe that it has so much more potential than that. Since the intro alone is so powerful as to open people’s hearts, I would have wanted it to probe deeper and facilitate more of a marriage workshop or counseling type of conversation between husband and wife. Maybe a companion workbook will be good, similar to His Needs, Her Needs. I have a feeling that we will be hearing more about this book, and that we will possibly see this expand to weekend workshops all over the country, and have training sessions to accredit other counselors who can discuss the material, other than the authors themselves.
As an aside, the layout and playful use of fonts was awesome!
I received a copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley.
When I am helping a couple prepare for their wedding and marriage I tell them the first time we meet that on the night of the rehearsal I will ask them tear up a picture of the person that will become their spouse the next day. The reason I do this is that we all paint a picture of what married life will be like and if we expect it to be that way we will be disappointed. I tell them at the rehearsal that I want them to tear up that picture they have in their mind and prepare to love one another through the imperfections of married life.
The truth is that is hard to do. In this writing you will be challenged to work through the imperfections and build a healthy marriage if you have been married many years or are just preparing to take the plunge.
This is a great book that offers skills to use in our not so perfect marriages! My biggest take away from the book was the difference between when we should offer grace or forgiveness in our marriage. This book provided me with some great takeaways and other resources to look into as well.
This book follows the same lines of most marriage books, but there is something about it that really makes it stand out. This book doesn't pull any punches. Mark and Jill are brutally open and honest. They speak with transparency about past transgressions and the struggle to reconnect. Alternating points of view help to get perspectives from both sides. Throughout the book they focus on what they call the "slow fade journey", which probably happens to every marriage whether you are aware of it or not. Mark and Jill focus on the eight powerful God-given tools of courage, grace, love, humility, forgiveness, wisdom, acceptance, and compassion, to show other couples the tools needed to work on your marriage if and when the need comes about.
This book is developed to be used with a small group. Each chapter ends with discussion questions, points to reflect on, and sample prayers. The discussion guide at the end of the book provides great resources and structure for the small group setting.
I would recommend this book to all Christians who are married, especially those seeking to arm themselves with the tools to work on their marriage if they should need them. I received this as a free ARC from Moody Publishers on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I am so grateful for Jill and Mark Savage’s authenticity and wisdom. The Savages believe that hurting marriages can heal and good marriages can be great; that foundation of hope and confidence permeates their new book, No More Perfect Marriages. My marriage is stronger after reading this book, and I believe yours can be, too. With a powerful blend of poignant anecdotes, helpful strategies, and biblical principles, the Savages guide readers on the journey to a healthier, holier, and happier marriage. Jill and Mark provide couples the opportunities to take several quizzes that help husband and wife discern the the way they love, the manner in which their love has been twisted, and the different approaches to processing and thinking which, when left unexplored, sabotage all too many marriages. I found the tools Mark and Jill provided to be both helpful and hopeful; their insights were remarkably clear and articulated with grace. The Savages ask important and challenging questions, which kept me engaged and wrestling throughout. I cannot recommend this resource too highly. I truly believe it will help many; it can help you like it helped me.
If only EVERY married or soon to be married couple had this book! Whether soon to be married, contemplating divorce, a few years married or married for decades, it provides invaluable tools to strengthen your communication and understanding of each other. Mark and Jill write in such a way that you are drawn in by their honesty, transparency and real life viewpoint. Their story of redemption gives hope to so many others that are struggling and is a great encouragement to reconnect with your spouse. It's packed FULL of practical tools to transform every marriage. Written by a REAL couple in the real trenches of doing life together, not just a clinical perspective. Whether you read with your spouse or by yourself, it has the potential to change the dynamics of your relationship. Just in the couple of weeks since reading it, our understanding of each other's unique qualities and our ability to communicate more deeply has grown exponentially.
I have been trying to find a book that helps my husband and I connect. This is the book, it has many things that makes it stand out in the sea of "marriage help books". One: Mark and Jill have gone thru what many marriages have gone thru, infidelity. This book combines Christian beliefs, and a brutally open and honest relationship with the authors. I love the alternating points of view in this book, it helped my husband get something out of it --it isn't just your ordinary couples book. You have assessments, and insights that help your marriage and relationship with God grow. I could see it used in a Young Married Group at our church, or even a Couples Christian retreat. A must read. I plan to read it again, because I think a person can find more in a book even after reading it a first time.
This is a practical book full of real encouragement. I love that it’s written by a husband and wife for husbands and wives. The discussion guide can benefit a couple reading it alone or small groups who read it together. Because it’s well written and uses tons of headings, it’s an easy read you’ll refer back to often. Read it now to prevent issues. Read it now to restore a marriage. The concept of the 7 slow fades is brilliant – it’s often the day-to-day “little” things that add up to become “big” things. Their 8 tools are also important and I love that the first one is courage. Absolutely true and we don’t think about its value. This book contains many fresh ideas like that and known truths expressed in new ways with real illustrations to guide you to use them well in your marriage. -Kathy Koch, Ph.D.
My husband and I have been reading No More Perfect Marriages together. It has been a blessing to read Mark and Jill's story and learn from them through this book. I appreciate their honesty and how they share in a very real way. Many times as we read we'd say hmmmm that sounds familiar. It is encouraging to know we aren't alone in our marriage challenges and to get some tips and guidance on how to handle those challenges. One point I love from the book is the need to let your spouse be human.
I'd highly recommend this book to you. It is easy to read and has some great questions to consider as you read each chapter. Buy this book if you are newly married or have been married for years! You're marriage will be blessed.
(I finished reading this book using the audio version. Excellent and highly recommend)
We received a digital copy of the book as part of the launch team.
This amazing marriage book should be on every shelf of those who are thinking of marrying, those who are in pre-marital counseling and those who are celebrating many years in their marriage.
Honest. Transparent. Biblical. Encouraging. There are too many books written on marriage today that leave the reader seeing and knowing what is wrong with their marriages, but not really given any tools to know how to make any real changes. I believe this book is one of the most encouraging, real books there is on marriage today. I love the way Mark & Jill wrote this book in a ‘he-said, she-said format’ sharing their own thoughts and experiences. They share sound and biblical advice and walk through their journey in hind-sight 20/20 fashion. You will find yourself feeling confident that the same God who healed their marriage is in the business of healing and strengthening yours!
No More Perfect Marriages is Jill's best book yet. Teaming up with her husband Mark to share their raw honest emotional marriage journey, she has shown us once again why being vulnerable can be one of God's greatest gifts. Dealing with infidelity, anger, resistance to change, and everything in between, this book will help strengthen your marriage foundations. Written in a he said/she said format, the reader also learns about how to build a marriage toolbox for those times when marriage requires more than just wishful thinking. The book is full of encouragement, love, and helpful resources. Mark and Jill are real, honest to goodness marriage warriors who have repaved the broken road of their journey. Kudos to them both and thanks!
Ok, so there are books, and then THERE ARE BOOKS. As a woman who ministers to other women I’ve read so many books on marriage/relationships that I’ve used to encourage others...but then I read one that seem to speak directly to me and my own marriage. Mark and Jill Savage capture with true authenticity the struggles that all married couples encounter. The struggles that WE personally have encountered. Like feeling minimized. Or ruled over. Or dismissed. They encourage building healthy “hedges” to protect your relationship. I believe that the tangible resources and advice they offer, if applied, have the ability to transform your marriage. I’m incredibly grateful for the timeliness of this book, its authors, and of its message. It’s a must read. Jayne Patton
No More Perfect Marriages is a book that all couples should read. Marriage takes work, and things can see one way but in reality, are a completely different way! This book gives practical tips and strategies for working with your spouse to get to the root of issues in a constructive way. Mark and Jill are transparent in their advice, sharing their prior experience with marital strife. They are relatable which makes this book so fantastic. It will help you look past the "happily ever after" expectations and start to see the realness of marriage and how it was designed. This book would also be ideal for a small group, as there are fantastic discussion questions at the end of each chapter. No matter your stage in marriage, this is an excellent read.
I've read many marriage books and this is by far the best. I love how Jill and Mark are so open and honest with readers, and how I could relate to expectations in marriage and being disappointed at times. Knowing that others feel this way at points in their marriage helps me to know I'm not a failure. Marriage isn't a fairy tale but give and take on both ends. Forgiveness, love, humility, sincerity, compassion, and many other attributes are important in our marriages and we will have those "slow fades" in our marriages, and it's ok. Reconnect and find that passion, and listen to your partner. Communication is a vital component to growing together. I'm so thankful to have read this book and share it with my husband.
In the third installment of the No More Perfect... Series, Mark & Jill Savage team up to help Marriages. Together they bring up real issues that they have personally faced as well as many others. The sharing of their personal story, the beautiful and the ugly, helped me relate to their marriage. The tips and insights given were spot on for my marriage. The concept of Slow Fades (Slow Fade of Unrealistic Expectations, Slow Fade of Minimizing, etc.) and the God Given Tools that we need to combat these Fades were woven together to encompass strategies that any marriage can benefit from. I appreciated the candor that arguments will happen and there are No Perfect Marriages. The end of the book has resources for small group studies.
I wish every married or soon to be married couple could have a chance to read this book!! It's packed full with practical tools to transform every marriage. Whether soon to be married, contemplating divorce, a few years married or married for decades, it provides invaluable tools to strengthen your communication and understanding of each other. Written by a real couple with real struggles, doing real life together. No matter if you read with your spouse or by yourself, it has the potential to change your relationship. Just in the couple of weeks since reading it, our understanding of each other's unique qualities and our ability to communicate more deeply has grown so much. Like I said before, every couple should own a copy of this book!!
Our hardest years of marriage came early on. I didn’t understand why he did things the way he did and he didn’t understand my (over) reactions. In “No More Perfect Marriages,” Jill and Mark Savage open up their own story to show readers that God made each of us unique with our personalities and preferences, yet He unifies couples as one. I found such freedom in that and reflected on my own marriage. This is the kind of book I wish I’d had earlier in my marriage. And, of course, even after more than 14 years, we can still learn from each other and about each other as we’re working on our relationship together.
As a counseling counseling center director with almost 20 years experience where we offer Christian counseling upon request, I cannot recommend the practical tools and godly wisdom in this book enough. The book includes free assessments that you can do online as well as exercises that the two of you could do together. Your marriage will still benefit even if I only one if you reads it though.
This is one of our top recommendations for couples involved in counseling and I also recommend it when I speak at couples seminars for those who have a healthy relationship but are just wanting to make it better.
This book was a great read for any stage of marriage with very practical strategies for improving communication. I easily recognized some things I've experienced in my 15 years of marriage, as well as illuminating some things I didn't even realize were happening. I loved the genuine transparency that Jill and Mark offer from their past experiences. Having a husband's perspective woven through the book was also very enlightening. Definitely a great read and a book to share with friends and family. Everyone can improve their marriage and communication! "It's the nature of marriage. We naturally pull apart unless we work to stay together. "
Jill and Mark Savage have written an amazing book on marriage. This book that I could share with my husband, brought up some tough, but needed discussions. The book really helped us to look at and analyze why each us act and react the way we do. And then it provided us with the tools needed to really make a change in our own hearts and in our marriage. We loved the assessments and exercises that we could work through in this book. There are very few books that can provide the type of insight to make you rush to your spouse and say “I have a better understanding of myself and why I do what I do.” Thank you for writing such an amazing book!
I was part of a launch team and was able to pre-read this book! I highly recommend this book for several reasons. It is always helpful and encouraging to hear someone else's authentic journey and that is exactly what the Savages share. I really enjoyed all of the interactive quizzes. I love that the study guide is part of the book so no extras to buy. I learned more from this book than all the marriage counseling I have had. This is a great study for small groups, singles, by yourself or as a couple. Enjoy!!
My husband and I read this book together and loved it! The exercises at the end of the chapters lead us into deep discussions on many topics, and helped enlighten us into each other's thought processes, as well as helped us understand how to demonstrate love to our spouses in tangible ways. We also enjoyed having both points of view of the same situations, "He Said, She Said" was very eye opening, as both Jill and Mark were completely candid in what they thought and felt as they worked through some difficult times, and what lead them on their path to healing.