Kissing the Bee

by Kathe Koja

Senior year is flying by, the prom is approaching, and Dana, her best friend, Avra, and Avra's boyfriend, Emil, are about to encounter the pains and pleasures of that intricate beehive called adult life. While Dana plans on college, Avra plots escape once school is over―and plans to take Emil along for the ride. What does Emil want? He's not saying. Dana studies bees for a biology project, fascinated by their habits and their mythological imagery – but in real life, emotions can sting, and while two's company, these three may just become a crowd. As Dana reminds us, in every hive there is only one queen bee. With remarkably textured language and a distinctive heroine, Kissing the Bee is a novel of rare depth and stark honesty that will draw readers in from the very first page. Kissing the Bee is a 2008 Bank Street - Best Children's Book of the Year.

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction, Teen, Romance, Contemporary, Realistic Fiction, Audiobook

121 pages, Hardcover

First published August 21, 2007

About the author

Kathe Koja is a writer, director and independent producer of live and virtual events. Her work combines and plays with genres, from horror to YA to historical to weird, in books like THE CIPHER, VELOCITIES, BUDDHA BOY, UNDER THE POPPY, and CATHERINE THE GHOST.

Her ongoing project is the world of DARK FACTORY https://darkfactory.club/ continuing in DARK PARK, with DARK MATTER coming out in December 2025.

She's a Detroit native, animal rights supporter, supporter of democracy, and huge fan of Emily Bronte.

Reviews

[Mariel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. Kathe Koja's Kissing the Bee is a lovely "coming of age" tale that's not really coming of age so much as coming into your own. One has to live in society, obligations to friends and family, doing what is right, but in a way that doesn't stifle all sense of personal self. Koja's writing of the relationships and that life is natural and tight. The woman doesn't waste words. It's a short little book, and exactly the right size for those overwhelming feelings that seem to shape everything, even as they don't have to.
Dana's been secretly in love with her best friend Avra's boyfriend Emil. She wanted Emil on sight, and since before Avra dated him. Those feelings grow as she gets to know him. I don't doubt for a moment that the remarkably self-absorbed Avra wanted in part because Dana did, and other part because he was there. (Her life plan is to run away. She's jealous of big sister, the parent's favorite. To Avra, that Emil will go with her is a given, and she doesn't even ask him.) Emil feels the same way about Dana. I'm not sure why either one liked Avra in their current lives (other than horny horndogness for Emil). Koja did a great job of showing why Dana had liked her in the past: young Avra had more loyalty and throw-herself-into-feelings that would appeal to a kid who feels that everything is EVERYTHING (without the depth of experience, Avra's selfishness might resemble passion). However, aiming to live as a sidekick is no kind of life. And feeling that you're the sidekick in your own story is incredibly sad. It's a story of not being afraid to live for ones self. Not a love triangle, no matter what the packaging tells ya. It is only guilt that keeps them apart, guilt of betraying Avra and what they think is the right thing to do. They had been too comfortable in their assigned roles, like those little worker drones for the queen bee.
I don't feel this is only a young adult tale. I've known people who I wouldn't be surprised to find out they thought of me only in terms of what I meant for them. Those "Queen bees", like Avra. I also think that it isn't only young people who are afraid to step outside of the rules and take what they really need.

[Adriana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this short but beautifully written story. Dana and Avra have been best friends for a long time. Actually Avra is Dana's only real friend, but Avra really only has room in her world for Avra. She is like a queen bee. Recently Dana is realizing just how selfish Avra is. Things come to a head when Avra's boyfriend Emil, who is also the boy Dana loves and saw first, also starts to feel like Avra only cares about herself and her plans. There are excerpts throughout the book from Dana's senior bee project, which add light touches of history, mythology, and science to the story. The book is only 121 pages, but right away I could identify with Dana and all the characters in her life. For some of us there is a person in our lives that came and went and that we loved but soon realized that they consumed everything in their paths, including us. Those are people that only take, and Avra is clearly one of those people in this story. There is just enough of everything to pull you in and care: love, chaos, poetry, friendship, rivalry, and angst. I only give five stars if I would read the book again and/or purchase a copy for keeps. A great read in my opinion.

[Gloria Thompson · Rating 2 out of 5]

The most YA books of all YA books. The teenage angst is unparalleled.

[BAM doesn’t answer to her real name · Rating 3 out of 5]

Koja is one of my favorite authors and this is one book I have not read.
RTC

[Owen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kissing the Bee was not Koja's strongest novel. I am not a fan of love triangles, and although this is not the typical love triangle you see in many books (usually paranormal YA) I still did not think it had its own uniqueness to make me appreciate the relationship the characters had. Like most of Koja's books, this was very short. The length is usually not a problem for me, but in this one, it felt too short and too much was left unexplained/not taken care of properly (or at least to my liking). As much as I hate to say this, I feel like this book was the most similar to other YA, and not necessarily in a good way. Not just because of the love triangle, but because the characters didn't have that special something that all of her other characters have. They seem like average YA characters and that annoyed me a bit.
I kind of like the connections made throughout the book to bees, sometimes that type of technique isn't very good but in this case I have no complaints.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This slim volume is packed with story. Dana, our very introspective narrator, is a good friend to Avra. So good in fact, that she says nothing when Avra latches on to Emil- a boy Dana say first, and immediately liked. She continues to say nothing as Avra and Emil become joined at the hip. The three of them go everywhere together and Dana's not sure if this is great (she does get to see Emil all the time) or torture (she gets to see him with Avra.) The story of these three High School seniors is interspersed with Dana's observations on bee life for her Bio II project.

I would recommend this to fans of Sarah Dessen, Deb Caletti, perhaps even Jodi Picoult.

[Toni · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice, short YA novel about high school kids. Two girls are friends, one of them has a boyfriend who is much more suited to the other girl. You know - that boy, girl, girl triangle problem that we all had in high school. It was a good read, fast and not complicated. Dealt with some high school, teenage issues, nothing heavy, but just a decent story. Good book for someone (probably a girl) who is basically a non-reader. Might spark some interest in reading other books by Koja. this is the second book I have read by this author and I like the way that she writes - precise and to the point.

[Sashi Kaufman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an elegant little book (less than 120 pages?) A beautiful portrait of friendship and love. Could I have read a longer version? Yes, but there was something really beautiful about the novella length. Delicious and delicate, skillful and literary.

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! I completely identified with Dana, the narrator. I can only remember all too well how it felt to be the third wheel and be secretly "in love" with my friend's boyfriend.

[Art · Rating 4 out of 5]

Relationships and the study of Bees. Interesting comparision between human relationships and life in the colony of Bees.
I really enjoyed reading this book.
Has a great twist at the end.

[Raina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this in grad school in the middle of a project on clique lit. Really well written slim volume about misplaced romance, with lots of bee references. ;)

[Gina Clabo · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first I thought this was a middle grade book but it's set in Senior Year of High School. The writing style does remind me of middle grade only it has strong language in some spots. Overall a cute book and lessons to learn not only about bees, which I loved... It's good to know things about how our bees act and the way Kathe Koja described how the queen bee comes about was awesome. The second lesson was friendship and love this could have been told a little better but it was still right on. If you have a friend that sucks the ever loving life out of you run go get away don't waste your time trying to please that person it won't matter.. Recommend to 16 yrs and up please know there are a few cuss words in here, if you like family/learning about bees/ love/ and friendship this is for you.. Gina Clabo

[Logan Kedzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a fan both of Koja and bees, I picked this one up somewhat arbitrarily. It is a teenage love drama, and I admit to feeling bored at first, and thinking that it is pretty far from my usual fare. It seemed to lack Koja's flair, and the characters seemed obvious. But about thirty pages in or so (it is a short book, mind you) the density of the story's interrelated parts starts to pick up. It is a weak four stars, in that it is more about the journey than the destination here, and in particular the hinge of the love triangle comes off as a lump of clay, making the whole thing feel particularly teenaged but the end feels moving, and presents a sort of delightful overlay about the struggle of being you.

[Jenifer Dugdale · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think Koja did a nice job of writing a love story of a different flavor, layering it with an education about bees that serves aptly as metaphor. Its brevity did not compromise character development (she seems to be good about this in her books, from what I've read), and I would recommend this book, among her other books, for high school students who struggle to find short, engaging novel(la)s. The punctuation of sentences at times confounded me, but I didn't take off any stars for that. : )

[Laura Bailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite YA novels, and one of those rare books I've read more than twice. I love Koja's YA characters, and Dana is one of my favorites. Koja give readers credit; she knows they're smart enough to sense what's unsaid in Dana and Avra's unraveling friendship. She captures perfectly the confusion and heartbreak of outgrowing a best buddy.

[Chesh · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ah right, this book reminds me why I never liked adolescent romance stories.
To be fair, this isn't bad story even though I find it hard to relate to the main character (could be just me). There are a lot of worse cliché plots out there.

[Carolyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

story slowly unwinds; love triangle, well-developed characters

Ages: 7th and up
underage drinking; uses F word; smoking cigarettes

[Alexander Moriarty]

A beautiful read about love, friendship and loss filtered through the prism of the science and myth of bees. About teenagers, but not strictly YA.

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this but can't really explain why. For lack of a better comparison, this reminded me of My So-Called Life, but with bee metaphors.

[Jay · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is so good i have to inject it into my veins

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inspired by spending too much time with this book.

[Jordan Sullivan · Rating 3 out of 5]

this was a cute coming of age story about a young woman who studies bees, she learns to stand up for herself and there is a cute romance pat to it. it was pretty cute but i did have a hard time connecting with the characters.

[Jennifer Wardrip · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reviewed by JodiG. for TeensReadToo.com

Dana and Avra are best friends. As good of friends as can be when one person is the queen bee and the other is charged with doing what it takes to keep the queen happy.

Avra is the undisputed queen -- she decides what they do and when they do it. She also has lofty plans for the future. Avra is counting the days until the end of high school. At that time, she plans to escape from her family and town in an attempt to conquer the world. In true, royal fashion she has even determined that one member of her "royal court," her boyfriend, Emil, will accompany her on her journey.

Dana has her own plans. She is heading to college and, in addition to her duties of helping Avra prepare for prom, she is working on her final project for school. Dana has been preparing a project on the lives and habits of bees, which closely mirror the social interactions she and her friends are experiencing. Dana also has a problem that she has managed to keep secret from Avra and Emil. She is in love with her best friend's boyfriend. But does Emil have feelings for Dana, as well?

KISSING THE BEE is an amazingly straight-forward novel that will draw you in and keep you reading from the first page to the last. The main character is as true as she is flawed; a character that anybody who's ever loved can identify with. Kathe Koja has written a story that flows smoothly from beginning to end. There are no distractions within the story; the focus remains on the relationship between three young people, teetering on the edge of change.

[Terri Bynum · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was beautiful. It's primarily about a YA love triangle; 2 girls, 1 boy; all 17ish, almost finished with Senior year. At first I was on the fence about checking this one out. I thought "I don't knooowww, this triangle stuff has been done & done again". I'm so glad that I ignored that little voice because this is done just SO, so well! The protagonist, Dana, is working on a science project about bees. Scattered throughout the story she reads excerpts from her report. Each of these chosen tidbits about bees & their relationships with each other & with the queen, about the way the colony is run, is so heavy with meaning; with symbolism connecting it significantly with the situation at hand.

It's short, but really & truly powerful. In this case I feel that the audio is a definite enhancement. I won't spoil it for anyone, but I love the fact that the author doesn't try to snow us into believing that when things like this happen, life falls back into place tidily....because I think we all know that it doesn't; usually not by a long shot. At the same time, everything came together in a way that I could definitely buy into. Dana's choices left me saying "no, no, no, it's a mistake!" at first, but then so utterly & pleasantly surprised. This is a girl with an old soul; one who listens to her gut.

I really think you'll love it...or at least like it very much!

[Corinne Edwards · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this short novel, there is a love triangle. Dana and Avra and Emil. The darling Emil, boyfriend of Avra, Dana's best friend. And while Dana is the expert on all things bee, Avra is clearly the queen bee. While Dana is planning on college in a few short months, Avra just wants to GO - to leave the claustrophobic hive of high school and get away from her parents and the shadow of her older sister. Emil is keeping his own plans to himself.

Bee lore and culture are woven throughout the text so flawlessly - the comparisons shine a light on and add to the plot. As much as it is a book about love, it's also about friendship, and what a strong girl needs to do when she realizes that being a worker bee for the rest of her life is not enough.

I gulped this book in about an hour and a half. It's fantastic and the bee thread just adds sparkle and interest. And the love takes me RIGHT back to high school. Be aware that for younger teens, there are a few instances of strong language, but really, it should still be read, in my opinion.

[Alicia · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's short and to the point but there could have been a larger point made- I think it could have been more complicated if the characters were fleshed out a bit more and the story was longer... not that I'm complaining. It's short as are the others Koja has written.

Like Secret Life of Bees, there's an incorporation of bee life among the struggles Dana is having being the third wheel when she actually likes the boy. And the boy likes her because she's good-hearted, generous, and kind, except he can't really say anything just yet (though he does garner the courage to kiss her) but no one wants to confront the friend. I dislike this, but know it happens.

It could be a stronger book and one of the main reasons is the cover, seriously, it could be exponentially marketable if the cover was different.

[Madly Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kathe Koja is an amazing writer. This is, on the surface, a simple tale of two girls and the boy who hangs out with them. But it also much, much more. It's about agency and owning your life and choosing, when choices are difficult. There is a running metaphor in it about bees and how the hive works, which works really well in telling this beautiful love story between seniors in high school. It's also about being stuck, or making changes, about how teens work to find their selves, their true selves.

I love this little novel. There is something totally fascinating to me to read a small book of 120 pages are less and it tell this wonderful and big story. These are always books that I can never forget. Koja wrote one called The Blue Mirror and I thought that was a perfect novel. Highly recommended.

[Alison · Rating 4 out of 5]

This weekend I was weeding the piles galleys I hadn't found time to read, FORCING myself to whittle down the stack. When I got to this book and did the mental "Will I ever get to it debate?" I thought I'd just read the first page and see if it grabbed me. If not? Discard city. Not only did the first page grab me, I read the entire book that day, feeling completely taken in by the story, loving the apiculture facts I learned along the way. This is a beautiful novel about relationships -- not just the romantic type, but the friends-for-reasons-neither-entirely-understands type too. This would be a great choice for high school-aged girls who are growing up, moving on, opting out of unfullfilling friendships.

[Amy Betters-Midtvedt · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dana had always loved Emil from the very beginning. But her best friend Avra got to him first. Ever since ninth grade, Dana and Avra had been inseparable. But when Emil came into the picture, Dana found that she was the third wheel. Dana has to hide her feelings for Emil from Avra, who is ready to leave her mother, father, and "perfect" sister behind, and take Emil with her. But does he really want to go? Now, while Dana is worrying about final exams, Avra has already planned the day she will run away... Prom Night. As Avra and Emil prepare to go, there are suddenly second thoughts about what everyone really wants. Dana's final project about the life of a bee will not only teach her about the hive, but about who her real friends are, and how to stand up to those you love most.

[Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love, betrayal, onging, and honesty in the hearts of three friends emerging from high school to adulthood in the tight social hive of family and school is told with such vivid and straightfoward characters readers will consume this tale with their hearts. Koja's creative use of bee imagery and mythology in a tightly woven story engages you from beginning to end and keeps us in step with the main character Dana's unavoidable decision between loyalty and betrayal in which she can longer hide from the sparks and stings of honesty and love. Kathe Koja expertly captures the deep all encompasing emotions of a young adult and delivers an unforgettable ending.