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In jedem Augenblick unseres Lebens
Tom und Karin erwarten ihr erstes Kind, als Karin plötzlich schwer erkrankt und ins Krankenhaus eingeliefert werden muss. Das Baby wird per Kaiserschnitt gerettet, während Tom wie in einem Albtraum in den unterirdischen Gängen des Krankenhauses umherirrt. Zwischen Intensivstation und Säuglingsstation, zwischen Leben und Tod. Als er nach Hause zurückkehrt, hat er Karin verloren und ist allein mit einem Neugeborenen. Um sich seiner Trauer zu stellen und seiner Tochter ein Vater zu sein, beginnt er ein Buch zu schreiben.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published August 1, 2015
201 people are currently reading
4523 people want to read
About the author
Tom Malmquist
7 books36 followersTom Malmquist (born 1978) is a Swedish poet and writer, and formerly an ice hockey player.
Malmquist released his first book of poetry, Sudden Death, in 2007. The book was praised by critics as the first sports-oriented book of poetry in Sweden. The book reflects on Malmquist's youth as a hockey player.
His second book of poetry, Fadersmjölken, was released in 2009, and was described by critics as "amazingly beautiful." Fadersmjölken was, at the time, the second most reviewed book by Swedish media next to The Journal of Joyce Carol Oates 1973–1982.
Malmquist released his first book of poetry, Sudden Death, in 2007. The book was praised by critics as the first sports-oriented book of poetry in Sweden. The book reflects on Malmquist's youth as a hockey player.
His second book of poetry, Fadersmjölken, was released in 2009, and was described by critics as "amazingly beautiful." Fadersmjölken was, at the time, the second most reviewed book by Swedish media next to The Journal of Joyce Carol Oates 1973–1982.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 392 reviews
October 23, 2017
4.5 stars.
The intensity begins on the first page and continues with the fear and uncertainty over what was happening in this critical emergency situation. Tom's pregnant partner, Karin is extremely ill and is shortly diagnosed with acute leukemia. Anyone who’s ever been through such a time in the emergency setting knows the difficulty of handling their visceral reactions while trying to understand and absorb the details of what the doctor are telling you. Tom Malmquist depicts this perfectly because he knows first hand. It's described as a novel but if you've read anything about the book or this writer you know that what happens in the novel happened in his life. He writes of a poet named Tom experiencing this awful heartbreak.
The story sometimes feels like it's told in a matter of fact way and I expected it to be more lyrical given that he is a poet but as I continued reading, there were so many moments that made me feel as if I were reading one long poem. It took me a while to get used to the writing - strings of sentences, no quotation marks with some paragraph breaks , moving from present to past and back again. The closeness shared by Tom and Karin is reflected in flashbacks and then we are back to the present moment, and the immediacy of preparing for her funeral, caring for a newborn baby, his father’s critical illness, the red tape of registering Livia as his daughter, since he and Karin were not married, although together for 10 years. Reminiscing with his father about when he was a young boy is also especially moving.
It was the title that drew me in and then as I continued reading, I thought about what it might mean in the context of the story which deals with death, the uncertainty of life, the heartbreak and loss, then the experience of knowing as trite as it sounds that life does go on - in fundamentally different ways , but it does go on . I couldn't help but want to separate the truth from the fiction, wondering what things here really happened, what things here did they really say . But in the end it didn’t matter to me; what mattered was how this is the story of a man who loves and grieves his losses then fiercely loves the part of his life he is given along with his loss , a reason to live - his daughter.
I owe thanks to my Goodreads friend , Rebecca . If I hadn’t read her review I would have missed this book. You should read her fantastic and thoughtful review on Goodreads and Book Bag : https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
I received an advanced copy of this book from Melville House through Edelweiss and NetGalley.
The intensity begins on the first page and continues with the fear and uncertainty over what was happening in this critical emergency situation. Tom's pregnant partner, Karin is extremely ill and is shortly diagnosed with acute leukemia. Anyone who’s ever been through such a time in the emergency setting knows the difficulty of handling their visceral reactions while trying to understand and absorb the details of what the doctor are telling you. Tom Malmquist depicts this perfectly because he knows first hand. It's described as a novel but if you've read anything about the book or this writer you know that what happens in the novel happened in his life. He writes of a poet named Tom experiencing this awful heartbreak.
The story sometimes feels like it's told in a matter of fact way and I expected it to be more lyrical given that he is a poet but as I continued reading, there were so many moments that made me feel as if I were reading one long poem. It took me a while to get used to the writing - strings of sentences, no quotation marks with some paragraph breaks , moving from present to past and back again. The closeness shared by Tom and Karin is reflected in flashbacks and then we are back to the present moment, and the immediacy of preparing for her funeral, caring for a newborn baby, his father’s critical illness, the red tape of registering Livia as his daughter, since he and Karin were not married, although together for 10 years. Reminiscing with his father about when he was a young boy is also especially moving.
It was the title that drew me in and then as I continued reading, I thought about what it might mean in the context of the story which deals with death, the uncertainty of life, the heartbreak and loss, then the experience of knowing as trite as it sounds that life does go on - in fundamentally different ways , but it does go on . I couldn't help but want to separate the truth from the fiction, wondering what things here really happened, what things here did they really say . But in the end it didn’t matter to me; what mattered was how this is the story of a man who loves and grieves his losses then fiercely loves the part of his life he is given along with his loss , a reason to live - his daughter.
I owe thanks to my Goodreads friend , Rebecca . If I hadn’t read her review I would have missed this book. You should read her fantastic and thoughtful review on Goodreads and Book Bag : https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
I received an advanced copy of this book from Melville House through Edelweiss and NetGalley.
December 15, 2017
4.5 Stars
”THE CONSULTANT STAMPS down the wheel lock of Karin’s hospital bed. In a loud voice he addresses the intensive care nurses, who are cutting open her tank top and sports bra: Pregnant woman, week thirty-three, child reportedly in good health, started feeling ill about five days ago with flu-like symptoms, fever, cough, slight shortness of breath yesterday which was put down to her pregnancy, condition severely deteriorating today, acute respiratory difficulties, arrived at the maternity unit about an hour ago. With powerful hands, he unscrews a cartridge-like bottle and continues: sats about seventy ambient but response to oxygen with higher saturation, RR about forty to fifty, BT a hundred a forty, HR a hundred and twenty. The midwife who helped with the oxygen in the ambulance stops in the doorway. She gently takes my arm. You’re in Ward B at the ICU now, would you like me to write that down for you on a bit of paper?”
Tom goes from sharing his life with his soul-mate, looking forward to the birth of their child, and their marriage in the relatively near future to being a parent and losing his partner, the woman he thought would be his wife. How life can change so swiftly from that to being a new parent, a single parent, grieving the loss of one while trying to share love with his new daughter, Livia.
This story, a story of love, and loss, of learning how to live again, and in a way, it is also about learning how to love even through the pain, how to slowly engage with life again. Learning how to hope, and maybe even believe that life will not break your heart, again.
The style of the writing is more a stream-of-consciousness fashion – in long, run-on sentences that fade away into another thought or perhaps of someone else speaking, or a memory to drag you down another path until reality interrupts, and you find yourself standing there wondering why you are where you are – and yet, it flows in that way naturally, meandering here and there without losing the reader.
Heartbreakingly beautiful, a lovely testament to the author’s own personal story, which this novel is based upon. A story of a Swedish poet’s internal battle to come to terms with losing his loved one, Karin, to a disease they’d diagnosed after only a short time at the hospital, leukemia. Her death, the birth of a daughter, and the loss of his father that follows too soon. There are autobiographical elements to this novel, and there is so much of this that feels real, and your heart and mind are linked to this person’s story, and it is that link with everything that shows who he is – his thoughts, his fears, and failures – that makes this so worth reading.
This novel, his first, was originally published in Sweden in 2015. Previously, he’d written two books of poetry, ”Sudden Death” in 2007 (a sports oriented book of poetry – he is also a former ice hockey player), and “Fadersmjölken" in 2009.
Recommended
Pub Date: 30 Jan 2018
Many thanks for the ARC provided by Melville House
”THE CONSULTANT STAMPS down the wheel lock of Karin’s hospital bed. In a loud voice he addresses the intensive care nurses, who are cutting open her tank top and sports bra: Pregnant woman, week thirty-three, child reportedly in good health, started feeling ill about five days ago with flu-like symptoms, fever, cough, slight shortness of breath yesterday which was put down to her pregnancy, condition severely deteriorating today, acute respiratory difficulties, arrived at the maternity unit about an hour ago. With powerful hands, he unscrews a cartridge-like bottle and continues: sats about seventy ambient but response to oxygen with higher saturation, RR about forty to fifty, BT a hundred a forty, HR a hundred and twenty. The midwife who helped with the oxygen in the ambulance stops in the doorway. She gently takes my arm. You’re in Ward B at the ICU now, would you like me to write that down for you on a bit of paper?”
Tom goes from sharing his life with his soul-mate, looking forward to the birth of their child, and their marriage in the relatively near future to being a parent and losing his partner, the woman he thought would be his wife. How life can change so swiftly from that to being a new parent, a single parent, grieving the loss of one while trying to share love with his new daughter, Livia.
This story, a story of love, and loss, of learning how to live again, and in a way, it is also about learning how to love even through the pain, how to slowly engage with life again. Learning how to hope, and maybe even believe that life will not break your heart, again.
The style of the writing is more a stream-of-consciousness fashion – in long, run-on sentences that fade away into another thought or perhaps of someone else speaking, or a memory to drag you down another path until reality interrupts, and you find yourself standing there wondering why you are where you are – and yet, it flows in that way naturally, meandering here and there without losing the reader.
Heartbreakingly beautiful, a lovely testament to the author’s own personal story, which this novel is based upon. A story of a Swedish poet’s internal battle to come to terms with losing his loved one, Karin, to a disease they’d diagnosed after only a short time at the hospital, leukemia. Her death, the birth of a daughter, and the loss of his father that follows too soon. There are autobiographical elements to this novel, and there is so much of this that feels real, and your heart and mind are linked to this person’s story, and it is that link with everything that shows who he is – his thoughts, his fears, and failures – that makes this so worth reading.
This novel, his first, was originally published in Sweden in 2015. Previously, he’d written two books of poetry, ”Sudden Death” in 2007 (a sports oriented book of poetry – he is also a former ice hockey player), and “Fadersmjölken" in 2009.
Recommended
Pub Date: 30 Jan 2018
Many thanks for the ARC provided by Melville House
November 27, 2021
Sometimes I imagine my wife dies. Not because I want her to, but because it would be so awful. I like her so much, and also it would be inconvenient in a lot of ways. But it's fun to be maudlin! I would be a widower. It would be romantic. I imagine how wrenching my eulogy would be. "Webster defines sadness as..." I would say.
Anyway so this book shows up on the NY Times Notable of 2018 list and it's autofiction about this guy whose wife dies in childbirth and I basically dropped everything to read it, but have you ever heard Mount Eerie? Mount Eerie is a musician whose wife died shortly after giving birth to their daughter, and then he wrote an album about it and it's so devastating that I've only ever listened to it twice. Here are some of the lyrics:
The thing with In Every Moment We Are Still Alive is that it completely falls apart about a third of the way through. Up until then it's staggering. It starts right in the middle of the crisis, in the hospital as Tom and Karin realize that something is wrong, then wronger, then wrongest. Alarms are going off and Karin is sinking away and there's still a baby inside her. There's a Didionesque clinical quality here - as in The Year of Magical Thinking, Tom is unable to process the whole story so he focuses on understanding the events. What Tom the author has done brilliantly is express what it feels like when your life spirals away from you right before your eyes - exactly what it's like, minute to minute, to slip from
"We're okay"
to
"We're not okay"
to
"We won't be okay."
I've not gotten into waters this deep myself but I've stood on the shore, I know what they look like, and they look dark.
What happens next, though, is his dad is sick too, and suddenly you're...off dealing with that, and I understand that this is Tom Malquist's real life and it wasn't a good plot in real life either, but that doesn't help me get something out of this book. I felt that it was too much for one book - it's not even a long one! - to deal with. And on top of that it starts doing a lot of quick chronological skipping, back to when Karin was alive, back to when they'd first met, back to now with his dying father - I felt that it lost focus and steam.
I was occasionally distracted by his writing style too; he's one of these authors who don’t believe in quotes around speech. Or new paragraphs. A lot of run on sentences. It’s fine, it’s not hard to parse but I’m not really craving for people to mess with the mechanics of language. It’s like if someone builds you a house and they’re like check out this fancy newfangled door lock, right? I don’t care, where’s the kitchen.
We read books like this for the same reason we watch horror movies; they allow us to peek at our deepest fears from a safe place. (Or we're murderers and we're looking for ideas, I shouldn't assume things about you, who knows why you're here.) It makes me uncomfortable to rate Malmquist's real life, but the honest truth is I was bored and distracted for most of the last two thirds of this book. I don't think it really works. What I'm saying is that if my own wife died in childbirth, I would write such a novel and/or album. It would make you ugly cry. It would make you desire me. It would have a Powerpoint. None of you would be okay ever again.
Anyway so this book shows up on the NY Times Notable of 2018 list and it's autofiction about this guy whose wife dies in childbirth and I basically dropped everything to read it, but have you ever heard Mount Eerie? Mount Eerie is a musician whose wife died shortly after giving birth to their daughter, and then he wrote an album about it and it's so devastating that I've only ever listened to it twice. Here are some of the lyrics:
Crusted with tears, catatonic and raw, I go downstairs and outside and you still get mailSo listen, in the "Art About Losing Your Wife" category Tom Malmquist has competition, and if there's one thing I've learned this year it's that tragedy is not a competition, but also Mount Eerie wins.
A week after you died a package with your name on it came and inside was a gift for our daughter you had ordered in secret and collapsed there on the front steps I wailed
A backpack for when she goes to school a couple years from now. You were thinking ahead to a future you must have known deep down would not include you though you clawed at the cliff you were sliding down, being swallowed into a silence that is bottomless and real
It's dumb
And I don't want to learn anything from this
The thing with In Every Moment We Are Still Alive is that it completely falls apart about a third of the way through. Up until then it's staggering. It starts right in the middle of the crisis, in the hospital as Tom and Karin realize that something is wrong, then wronger, then wrongest. Alarms are going off and Karin is sinking away and there's still a baby inside her. There's a Didionesque clinical quality here - as in The Year of Magical Thinking, Tom is unable to process the whole story so he focuses on understanding the events. What Tom the author has done brilliantly is express what it feels like when your life spirals away from you right before your eyes - exactly what it's like, minute to minute, to slip from
"We're okay"
to
"We're not okay"
to
"We won't be okay."
I've not gotten into waters this deep myself but I've stood on the shore, I know what they look like, and they look dark.
What happens next, though, is his dad is sick too, and suddenly you're...off dealing with that, and I understand that this is Tom Malquist's real life and it wasn't a good plot in real life either, but that doesn't help me get something out of this book. I felt that it was too much for one book - it's not even a long one! - to deal with. And on top of that it starts doing a lot of quick chronological skipping, back to when Karin was alive, back to when they'd first met, back to now with his dying father - I felt that it lost focus and steam.
I was occasionally distracted by his writing style too; he's one of these authors who don’t believe in quotes around speech. Or new paragraphs. A lot of run on sentences. It’s fine, it’s not hard to parse but I’m not really craving for people to mess with the mechanics of language. It’s like if someone builds you a house and they’re like check out this fancy newfangled door lock, right? I don’t care, where’s the kitchen.
We read books like this for the same reason we watch horror movies; they allow us to peek at our deepest fears from a safe place. (Or we're murderers and we're looking for ideas, I shouldn't assume things about you, who knows why you're here.) It makes me uncomfortable to rate Malmquist's real life, but the honest truth is I was bored and distracted for most of the last two thirds of this book. I don't think it really works. What I'm saying is that if my own wife died in childbirth, I would write such a novel and/or album. It would make you ugly cry. It would make you desire me. It would have a Powerpoint. None of you would be okay ever again.
May 18, 2017
(4.5) In this highly autobiographical novel from a Swedish poet, Tom has to face the sudden loss of his partner and his father in quick succession while also adjusting to single parenthood. Originally published in 2015, this is Malmquist’s first work of prose. While it’s being marketed as a novel, it reads more like a stylized memoir. Similar to Karl Ove Knausgaard’s books, it features the author as the central character and narrator. With its frank look at medical crises, this is a book I fully expect to see on next year’s Wellcome Prize shortlist. It reminds me very much of this year’s winner (the first novel in translation to win), Maylis de Kerangal’s Mend the Living, as well as Joseph Luzzi’s nonfiction account of bereavement and single fatherhood, In a Dark Wood. Highly recommended.
See my full review at The Bookbag.
See my full review at The Bookbag.
December 18, 2017
2 stars. I simply couldn't connect with this book.
I have much respect for the author, Tom Malmquist, for writing this fictionalized autobiography. I feel that writing his story would have been therapeutic and life changing for him to have documented everything he went through and experienced.
Unfortunately, as a reader, I couldn't immerse myself within the story. The writing lacked emotion for me - it was more "tell" than "feel". The story was 'matter of factly' told in an almost clinical way. I could sense Malmquist's desperation in his devastating situations, but not his emotion. The writing felt quite choppy and lacked quotations which I found confusing. His thoughts and paragraphs seemed to jump all over the place. There was no sense of flow to the story for me and I felt no form of attachment or investment in the story which was a deeply emotional and sad situation for him. Perhaps part of the issue was the translation of language?
There are plenty of high rated reviews which I strongly suggest you check out before making a decision on this novel.
A big thank you to NetGalley, Melville House Publishing and Tom Melmquist for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!!
I have much respect for the author, Tom Malmquist, for writing this fictionalized autobiography. I feel that writing his story would have been therapeutic and life changing for him to have documented everything he went through and experienced.
Unfortunately, as a reader, I couldn't immerse myself within the story. The writing lacked emotion for me - it was more "tell" than "feel". The story was 'matter of factly' told in an almost clinical way. I could sense Malmquist's desperation in his devastating situations, but not his emotion. The writing felt quite choppy and lacked quotations which I found confusing. His thoughts and paragraphs seemed to jump all over the place. There was no sense of flow to the story for me and I felt no form of attachment or investment in the story which was a deeply emotional and sad situation for him. Perhaps part of the issue was the translation of language?
There are plenty of high rated reviews which I strongly suggest you check out before making a decision on this novel.
A big thank you to NetGalley, Melville House Publishing and Tom Melmquist for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!!
June 11, 2023
In Every Moment We Are Still Alive is a sad, grief-filled novel.
This novel is based on real-life events, which makes my review a bit more difficult to write.
I don't know if it's the writing style and/or the translation, but I felt unusually detached, even though the subject matter should have made me sob uncontrollably. The writing is very matter-of-fact, in fact, too matter-of-fact - the hospital scenes were way too descriptive even for me (for a while, I wanted to become a doctor).
For me, this novel was similar to reading a movie's captions for the hearing impaired, without seeing the images on the screen. Malmquist takes pared-down writing to another level. Does it make it literary or a novel? Not so sure.
As with everything else, it's a matter of taste.
I've received this galley from the publishers via Edelweiss.
This novel is based on real-life events, which makes my review a bit more difficult to write.
I don't know if it's the writing style and/or the translation, but I felt unusually detached, even though the subject matter should have made me sob uncontrollably. The writing is very matter-of-fact, in fact, too matter-of-fact - the hospital scenes were way too descriptive even for me (for a while, I wanted to become a doctor).
For me, this novel was similar to reading a movie's captions for the hearing impaired, without seeing the images on the screen. Malmquist takes pared-down writing to another level. Does it make it literary or a novel? Not so sure.
As with everything else, it's a matter of taste.
I've received this galley from the publishers via Edelweiss.
February 8, 2018
*** GIVEAWAY*** on Insta. Entries open till 11:59pm 2/11/18. Open to U.S. residents. You can read this and all of my reviews at Lit·Wit·Wine·Dine.
“On the middle shelf in the bathroom cabinet lies Karin’s hairbrush. Her hairs are still snagged in its plastic teeth. She didn’t have time to prise them out and throw them away as she usually did. The brush is thick with hair, I smell it, I press it to my mouth.”
In Every Moment We Are Still Alive is full of beautiful, poignant passages. Tom Malmquist’s grief upon suddenly losing his wife shortly after the birth of their child is profound and palpable.
The book takes us on a journey of the days and months after Karin’s death while alternating with the months and years preceding it. The reader is given an intimate look into Tom and Karin’s relationships with one another and their families. We are given a glimpse into the reality that grieving family members often face. Tom is simultaneously dealing with caring for a newborn, making funeral arrangements, and dealing with bureaucratic red tape of having himself appointed as baby Livia’s legal guardian. (Apparently, in Sweden, the latter was necessary because Karin and Tom where not married. This was still true despite the fact that a DNA test performed while Livia was still in the hospital confirmed his paternity.) Sadly, shortly after Karin’s death, Tom’s father, who has been battling cancer for ten years, becomes gravely ill and dies.
While there was much to love and appreciate about this book, I found its formatting made it quite difficult to get through. There are no quotation marks which is enough to distract me but worse, there was no line break in conversation. There are pages – sometimes three or four at a time – that have not a single line break and alternate between dialog and narrative. The toggle between past and present was not always clear to me and I found myself needing to reread several paragraphs. Unfortunately, I was unable to adjust to this writing style and it had a significant impact on my overall experience in reading this book.
In Every Moment We are Still Alive will be a good fit for readers who are looking for a meaningful, poignant read who will not become distracted by the nontraditional writing style.
Please check out the giveaway on my Instagram Account.
Thanks to Melville House and TLC Book Tours for proving me with a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
“On the middle shelf in the bathroom cabinet lies Karin’s hairbrush. Her hairs are still snagged in its plastic teeth. She didn’t have time to prise them out and throw them away as she usually did. The brush is thick with hair, I smell it, I press it to my mouth.”
In Every Moment We Are Still Alive is full of beautiful, poignant passages. Tom Malmquist’s grief upon suddenly losing his wife shortly after the birth of their child is profound and palpable.
The book takes us on a journey of the days and months after Karin’s death while alternating with the months and years preceding it. The reader is given an intimate look into Tom and Karin’s relationships with one another and their families. We are given a glimpse into the reality that grieving family members often face. Tom is simultaneously dealing with caring for a newborn, making funeral arrangements, and dealing with bureaucratic red tape of having himself appointed as baby Livia’s legal guardian. (Apparently, in Sweden, the latter was necessary because Karin and Tom where not married. This was still true despite the fact that a DNA test performed while Livia was still in the hospital confirmed his paternity.) Sadly, shortly after Karin’s death, Tom’s father, who has been battling cancer for ten years, becomes gravely ill and dies.
While there was much to love and appreciate about this book, I found its formatting made it quite difficult to get through. There are no quotation marks which is enough to distract me but worse, there was no line break in conversation. There are pages – sometimes three or four at a time – that have not a single line break and alternate between dialog and narrative. The toggle between past and present was not always clear to me and I found myself needing to reread several paragraphs. Unfortunately, I was unable to adjust to this writing style and it had a significant impact on my overall experience in reading this book.
In Every Moment We are Still Alive will be a good fit for readers who are looking for a meaningful, poignant read who will not become distracted by the nontraditional writing style.
Please check out the giveaway on my Instagram Account.
Thanks to Melville House and TLC Book Tours for proving me with a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
April 20, 2021
Izuzetno mučna životna priča: piscu je nevenčana i trudna supuga preminula od leukemije. Ćerkica je prevremeno rođena, ali, srećom, uspeva da raste. Tom ima problem sa dokazivanjem da je otac – budući da po papirima to nije. Dok se bori sa ovom mukom, umire mu i otac od raka. U naizgled kontrolisanom pripovedanju, kroz bujicu utisaka, svet se rasparčava i kipti patnja koja nema načina da u potpunosti izađe.
Ovo je, dabome, i jedno hipstersko delo (od referenci na Pinu Bauš i Saru Kejn, preko nekih upitnih savremenih praksi vezanih za placentu, do tetoviranog popa kome je svaka molitva sumnja) pod Knausgorovom senkom. Ponekad se čini da Skandinavci žele da uzmu književni monopol na lične patnje u savremenosti. To ne mora da bude dobro.
Priča Toma Malmkvista me je pogodila i nadam se da će moći nekako da nastavi sa životom. Svaki trenutak jeste breme i nema tu nekog olakšanja sem, možda, činjenice da je ovo napisano.
Ovo je, dabome, i jedno hipstersko delo (od referenci na Pinu Bauš i Saru Kejn, preko nekih upitnih savremenih praksi vezanih za placentu, do tetoviranog popa kome je svaka molitva sumnja) pod Knausgorovom senkom. Ponekad se čini da Skandinavci žele da uzmu književni monopol na lične patnje u savremenosti. To ne mora da bude dobro.
Priča Toma Malmkvista me je pogodila i nadam se da će moći nekako da nastavi sa životom. Svaki trenutak jeste breme i nema tu nekog olakšanja sem, možda, činjenice da je ovo napisano.
September 24, 2021
Роман Тома Малмквиста представник је онога што се зове аутофикција и што је доживело прави процват последњих година. Иако нисам ватрени присталица терапијског писања, јер је понекад тешко одупрети се сентименталности и баналностима, овај роман ми је пријао.
March 22, 2018
A gripping, riveting, vivid, absolutely real, wrenching opening 61 pages, approximately a quarter of the book -- it doesn't quite feel right to call it a novel. (We need a new term for autofictional books. "Books" works, I guess.) Anyway, fiction that feels unlike fiction for the most part because it's most likely not fictional at all remains my favorite sort of fiction, or my favorite sort of writing in general. What's remarkable about this is its pace despite its heft, its speed as it relays the premature birth of narrator's daughter Livia and premature death of the narrator's girlfriend Karin, followed by the narrator's father's final hospice days and funeral -- the heaviness of the content combined with the aerodynamics of the form, the straightforward, natural language without excessive description but not at all stingy or stunted or degraded when it comes to evoking the world around these people, that juxtaposition, like hot and cold air currents meeting in the lower and upper atmosphere, creates a compelling narrative storm. Or something like that.
It's set in Sweden but could be anywhere with insane Kafkaesque (in the clusterfucked Escherian bureaucratic sense) legal responses to tragedy. A reference to "Thomas-Fucking-Bernhard" right before a few paragraphless pages. Some interesting stuff about the narrator's father, the greatest Swedish sportswriter of his time who ghostwrites articles for Bjorn Borg and when the narrator was a child tried to expose how the mafia and other gambling interests were bribing players to throw games, which led to armed guards in their house -- and once, importantly, when the guards told them to take cover and get down, the narrator's mother told the young narrator it's all make-believe, something he returns to later, this sense of fiction as protection. So, although this book/novel/whatever you call it feels absolutely real, its reality is presented as fiction for the protective distance of the act of creating art.
Knausgaard comparisons are inevitable due to approach and setting but they're pretty different writers. Both KOK and Malmquist tell stories about moving out from under the shadow of dads who drink and starting their own families -- and they both let readers see intimate family moments that aren't often flattering at all. But KOK is more of a spiritual writer, more of a quotidian mystic in a way, his pages seem more open, have more space to them, he sees into the distance (abstract and physical) more often; he's intentionally trying to do something writing-wise (write as close as he can to the core of his life). Malmquist in this doesn't seem to have aspirations or ambitions other than to preserve the experience and, by doing so, avail himself of the protective qualities of transforming experience into story -- something that's only suggested, not stated.
"Every love story is a ghost story," per DFW, and that's the case for a lot of this, but this also ends with cherry blossoms, with spring, with rebirth, with hope. A great read -- thankful for my mother's recommendation. Four stars for my reading experience of the final 100 pages or so, which weren't as immersive as I'd've liked and thereby I felt like I lost some of the momentum and clarity of the first 100 pages or so. I'm sure if I read the second half of this in one sitting I would've rated this the full five.
It's set in Sweden but could be anywhere with insane Kafkaesque (in the clusterfucked Escherian bureaucratic sense) legal responses to tragedy. A reference to "Thomas-Fucking-Bernhard" right before a few paragraphless pages. Some interesting stuff about the narrator's father, the greatest Swedish sportswriter of his time who ghostwrites articles for Bjorn Borg and when the narrator was a child tried to expose how the mafia and other gambling interests were bribing players to throw games, which led to armed guards in their house -- and once, importantly, when the guards told them to take cover and get down, the narrator's mother told the young narrator it's all make-believe, something he returns to later, this sense of fiction as protection. So, although this book/novel/whatever you call it feels absolutely real, its reality is presented as fiction for the protective distance of the act of creating art.
Knausgaard comparisons are inevitable due to approach and setting but they're pretty different writers. Both KOK and Malmquist tell stories about moving out from under the shadow of dads who drink and starting their own families -- and they both let readers see intimate family moments that aren't often flattering at all. But KOK is more of a spiritual writer, more of a quotidian mystic in a way, his pages seem more open, have more space to them, he sees into the distance (abstract and physical) more often; he's intentionally trying to do something writing-wise (write as close as he can to the core of his life). Malmquist in this doesn't seem to have aspirations or ambitions other than to preserve the experience and, by doing so, avail himself of the protective qualities of transforming experience into story -- something that's only suggested, not stated.
"Every love story is a ghost story," per DFW, and that's the case for a lot of this, but this also ends with cherry blossoms, with spring, with rebirth, with hope. A great read -- thankful for my mother's recommendation. Four stars for my reading experience of the final 100 pages or so, which weren't as immersive as I'd've liked and thereby I felt like I lost some of the momentum and clarity of the first 100 pages or so. I'm sure if I read the second half of this in one sitting I would've rated this the full five.
October 11, 2021
još jedna autobiografska novela koja me zadesila ove godine. iako na početku djeluje kao da će se baviti jedino karininim umiranjem, kako tekst napreduje, tako se i grana - s njim ostaje njihova prerano rođena kći (karin je u 33. tjednu trudnoće dijagnosticirana leukemija i djevojčica je rano porođena carskim rezom; tjedan dana nakon poroda karin umire, bez da je vidjela svoju kći) pa nas tom malmquist vodi na mučno i detaljno opisano putovanje oko birokratskih problema (on i karin nisu bili vjenčani), a usto rak njegovog oca s kojim se bori deset godina ulazi u posljednju fazu te se tom suočava s još jednim gubitkom, tek nekoliko mjeseci nakon smrti karin.
s kliničkog aspekta vrlo precizno opisano, popraćeno stručnim izrazima, kao da je malmquist htio izliječiti svoju bol kroz što iscrpniji uvid u to što se događa - on od liječnika traži najdetaljnije informacije pa i od pogrebnika zahtjeva da mu do u tančine opiše što se, točno, događa s tijelom kad ga se preda na kremiranje. ipak, usprkos informativnom karakteru, cijeli je tekst prožet nježnošću i brigom, nenametljivim senzibilitetom, bolnim osjećajem gubitka, tuge i nemoći. neveselo štivo, skandinavski ogoljeno i na momente rezervirano, ali, u konačnici, malmquist je uspio prenijeti mračne puteve gubitka voljenih.
s kliničkog aspekta vrlo precizno opisano, popraćeno stručnim izrazima, kao da je malmquist htio izliječiti svoju bol kroz što iscrpniji uvid u to što se događa - on od liječnika traži najdetaljnije informacije pa i od pogrebnika zahtjeva da mu do u tančine opiše što se, točno, događa s tijelom kad ga se preda na kremiranje. ipak, usprkos informativnom karakteru, cijeli je tekst prožet nježnošću i brigom, nenametljivim senzibilitetom, bolnim osjećajem gubitka, tuge i nemoći. neveselo štivo, skandinavski ogoljeno i na momente rezervirano, ali, u konačnici, malmquist je uspio prenijeti mračne puteve gubitka voljenih.
December 4, 2017
Swedish poet Tom Malmquist's memoir, In Every Moment We Are Still Alive, sounded incredibly touching. It deals with the death of his wife, Karin, after being diagnosed with acute leukaemia. His daughter, Livia, is delivered prematurely, and Malmquist has to deal with her birth at the same time as his wife's death.
I found In Every Moment We Are Still Alive rather difficult to read. It jumps around rather a bit, and it is difficult at times to work out who the secondary characters are; there is rarely any immediate context given about them and their relationship with Tom and Karin. The memoir was also not as well written as I would have expected from a poet. I'm unsure as to whether this is an issue with the translation of the book, but the prose felt rather more matter-of-fact than lyrical. Whilst the book is clearly a touching one, and a brave one to write, I simply felt unable to connect with it. I felt for Tom and Livia, but there was something intangible in Malmquist's approach which distanced me from their story.
I found In Every Moment We Are Still Alive rather difficult to read. It jumps around rather a bit, and it is difficult at times to work out who the secondary characters are; there is rarely any immediate context given about them and their relationship with Tom and Karin. The memoir was also not as well written as I would have expected from a poet. I'm unsure as to whether this is an issue with the translation of the book, but the prose felt rather more matter-of-fact than lyrical. Whilst the book is clearly a touching one, and a brave one to write, I simply felt unable to connect with it. I felt for Tom and Livia, but there was something intangible in Malmquist's approach which distanced me from their story.
August 28, 2016
I receved this book as an ARC from Gyldendal. It's not exactly something I would normally read, but I don't have any regrets. I wasn't aware that it was non-ficiton until I started reading it.
The book starts very abruptly with Karin, Tom's wife, being admitted to hospital. She is pregnant and they are worried about their unborn child. Karin's situaton deteriorates very quickly. A healthy baby girl is delivered by ceasarian. Within days Tom is left alone to care for a premature baby, Karin dies.
This book is an unsentimental account of events. I have rarely read such a cliché-free book. It's not as bleak as expected either. It covers bureaucratic conundrums caused by the fact that Tom and Karin weren't married. Livia, the daughter, isn't automatically Tom's. All in all, much more readable than first expected.
The book starts very abruptly with Karin, Tom's wife, being admitted to hospital. She is pregnant and they are worried about their unborn child. Karin's situaton deteriorates very quickly. A healthy baby girl is delivered by ceasarian. Within days Tom is left alone to care for a premature baby, Karin dies.
This book is an unsentimental account of events. I have rarely read such a cliché-free book. It's not as bleak as expected either. It covers bureaucratic conundrums caused by the fact that Tom and Karin weren't married. Livia, the daughter, isn't automatically Tom's. All in all, much more readable than first expected.
February 13, 2018
Wow.
“In Every Moment We are Still Alive” is a book that will put you through the emotional wringer. Part memoir, part fiction, it tells the story of Tom Malmquist who suffers more pain in a short period of time than any human being should have to endure. At the beginning of the story his pregnant partner is admitted to the hospital with what they believe is the flu, which they then think is pneumonia, until finally they realize is a rapidly advancing and fatal leukaemia.
The hours in the hospital as his wife slips away dominate the first part of the story and are as heartbreaking as anything you’ll ever read. His daughter survives through a caesarian section and the rest of the story is Tom trying to raise her while attempting to climb out of a pit of grief so deep that he at one point thinks he needs to be institutionalized. This all occurs while his father, who he has had a complicated relationship with, is slowly losing a ten year battle with cancer. All this is written with a sadness and a kind of grace that makes you feel deeply for this man who is asked to bear the most unimaginable kinds of pain.
There were times when I was reading this where I wasn’t sure quite how he was keeping it together. There are for example several scenes after the death of his partner where child services calls to inform him that because he was not married he is not legally the father of his child. He will need to take out multiple court orders and provide dizzying amounts of paperwork in Kafkaesque quantities. I imagined what my reaction to such bureaucratic bullshit would be if the love of my life had just died but Tom handles it with a bemusement and calm that I never could.
This is a deeply affecting story that is that will stay with you long after you’ve finished the last page. I’m so glad that I found it.
“In Every Moment We are Still Alive” is a book that will put you through the emotional wringer. Part memoir, part fiction, it tells the story of Tom Malmquist who suffers more pain in a short period of time than any human being should have to endure. At the beginning of the story his pregnant partner is admitted to the hospital with what they believe is the flu, which they then think is pneumonia, until finally they realize is a rapidly advancing and fatal leukaemia.
The hours in the hospital as his wife slips away dominate the first part of the story and are as heartbreaking as anything you’ll ever read. His daughter survives through a caesarian section and the rest of the story is Tom trying to raise her while attempting to climb out of a pit of grief so deep that he at one point thinks he needs to be institutionalized. This all occurs while his father, who he has had a complicated relationship with, is slowly losing a ten year battle with cancer. All this is written with a sadness and a kind of grace that makes you feel deeply for this man who is asked to bear the most unimaginable kinds of pain.
There were times when I was reading this where I wasn’t sure quite how he was keeping it together. There are for example several scenes after the death of his partner where child services calls to inform him that because he was not married he is not legally the father of his child. He will need to take out multiple court orders and provide dizzying amounts of paperwork in Kafkaesque quantities. I imagined what my reaction to such bureaucratic bullshit would be if the love of my life had just died but Tom handles it with a bemusement and calm that I never could.
This is a deeply affecting story that is that will stay with you long after you’ve finished the last page. I’m so glad that I found it.
February 14, 2018
I was interested in reviewing In Every Moment We Are Alive after reading the blurb and seeing all the accolades the book was getting. It's based on the real life and experiences of the author, Tom Malmquist when his long-time girlfriend Karin, is rushed to the hospital with breathing issues. What should be a happy time for the couple, Karin is pregnant with their daughter, soon becomes tragic as Karin's health rapidly deteriorates and she is diagnosed with acute leukemia. Doctors are able to save the baby (named Livia by Karin) delivering her prematurely, but not Karin.
This book was a challenge to read for a few reasons. Having recently come out of the hospital, starting in the ICU for a acute asthma attack, the respirator and cannula descriptions (I have an interesting fading scar from one on my wrist) made me flash back a bit squeamishly and Malmquist's descriptions of his anger, frustration and grief are very raw and tug at the heart. The writing itself is free-form--which can be hard to follow as Malmquist goes back and forth in time and writes in rambling sentences where dialogue is written without quotation marks, paragraphs run long, and chapter breaks are few and far between. There are also a myriad of doctors, nurses, friends and family mixed in, most of whom just appear without an introduction, and it takes time to figure out who everyone is. But, as someone who has suffered grief and with it thoughts that run on and on with a mish-mash of past, present, and random images that flash across your mind, although In Every Moment We Are Still Alive can be difficult to read, it comes across as very real and it is worth the extra care it takes as a reader to work your way through it.
In Every Moment We Are Still Alive, won't appeal to every one--both in the subject matter and the writing style. If chaotic writing leaves you unable to focus on a story, it won't be the book for you, but if you can get into the rhythm of the author's words, there is a beautiful story of family, love, loss, and hope that unfolds from a tragedy.
You can see my review and a recipe inspired by the book on my blog post here: https://kahakaikitchen.blogspot.com/2...
Note: A review copy of "In Every Moment We Are Still Alive" was provided to me by the author and the publisher, via TLC Book Tours. I was not compensated for this review and as always, my thoughts and opinions are my own.
This book was a challenge to read for a few reasons. Having recently come out of the hospital, starting in the ICU for a acute asthma attack, the respirator and cannula descriptions (I have an interesting fading scar from one on my wrist) made me flash back a bit squeamishly and Malmquist's descriptions of his anger, frustration and grief are very raw and tug at the heart. The writing itself is free-form--which can be hard to follow as Malmquist goes back and forth in time and writes in rambling sentences where dialogue is written without quotation marks, paragraphs run long, and chapter breaks are few and far between. There are also a myriad of doctors, nurses, friends and family mixed in, most of whom just appear without an introduction, and it takes time to figure out who everyone is. But, as someone who has suffered grief and with it thoughts that run on and on with a mish-mash of past, present, and random images that flash across your mind, although In Every Moment We Are Still Alive can be difficult to read, it comes across as very real and it is worth the extra care it takes as a reader to work your way through it.
In Every Moment We Are Still Alive, won't appeal to every one--both in the subject matter and the writing style. If chaotic writing leaves you unable to focus on a story, it won't be the book for you, but if you can get into the rhythm of the author's words, there is a beautiful story of family, love, loss, and hope that unfolds from a tragedy.
You can see my review and a recipe inspired by the book on my blog post here: https://kahakaikitchen.blogspot.com/2...
Note: A review copy of "In Every Moment We Are Still Alive" was provided to me by the author and the publisher, via TLC Book Tours. I was not compensated for this review and as always, my thoughts and opinions are my own.
May 30, 2016
Läste e-boken och den måste ha varit ett måndagsexemplar. Formateringen var jätteskum och gjorde det svårt att läsa. Långa textsjok utan styckeindelningar blandades med halvtomma sidor.
Toms berättelse är trist. Jag hade föredragit den i formen av en bombastisk bästsäljarroman istället för det här känslokalla, realistiska, flow of conciousness-stuket. Detaljerna är för många, känslorna ligger under texten och ger mest ångest, hos läsaren och förmodligen även hos författaren.
Jag stör mig på att en familj som har en historik av plötsliga, konstiga sjukdomar inte ser till att fixa med det juridiska inför barnets ankomst. Jag stör mig på att Tom tar så hårt på Karins sista ord innan hon blir nedsövd. Jag stör mig på alla detaljstudier. Jag stör mig på de långa meningarna med en massa komman där det borde vara punkt och nytt stycke.
Är du inte extremt intresserad av familjen Malmquist, eller böcker om dödsfall och folk som lider, så behöver du inte lägga tid på den här boken.
Toms berättelse är trist. Jag hade föredragit den i formen av en bombastisk bästsäljarroman istället för det här känslokalla, realistiska, flow of conciousness-stuket. Detaljerna är för många, känslorna ligger under texten och ger mest ångest, hos läsaren och förmodligen även hos författaren.
Jag stör mig på att en familj som har en historik av plötsliga, konstiga sjukdomar inte ser till att fixa med det juridiska inför barnets ankomst. Jag stör mig på att Tom tar så hårt på Karins sista ord innan hon blir nedsövd. Jag stör mig på alla detaljstudier. Jag stör mig på de långa meningarna med en massa komman där det borde vara punkt och nytt stycke.
Är du inte extremt intresserad av familjen Malmquist, eller böcker om dödsfall och folk som lider, så behöver du inte lägga tid på den här boken.
February 15, 2020
Vystiznejsi názov to nemohlo mať.
Tom a jeho žena Karin to mali veľmi ťažké. Veď si to len predstavte. Ste zdravá tehotná žena, pred týždňom vám brali krv a všetko bolo v poriadku a zrazu v jednu noc sa všetko zmení a náhle prichádza choroba a smrť. Tom sa v tejto knihe vypísal zo svojich pocitov. Ako sa snažil vyrovnať so smrťou svojej priateľky a následnou starostlivosťou o ich dcérku. Ako mu jeho otcovstvo komplikovali švédske úrady. A v neposlednom rade o jeho vzťahu k jeho rodičom. Z týchto stránok bolo cítiť ako veľmi mu na jeho blízkych záleží a ako veľmi je dôležité užívať si každý moment života. Áno, Niekedy mi to prišlo napísané veľmi surovo, odborne a ako keby bez citu, ale každý sa so stratou vyrovnáva po svojom. Co sa týka formy tejto knihy, bolo to zlé, mam pocit ze autorovi nikto ani neporadil lebo to bolo strašne chaotické a veľa neznámych mien a občas to nedavalo zmysel. Napriek tomu som si v tom nasla svoje posolstvo. Nízke hodnotenie je len kvôli forme knihy, ktorá mi fakt miestami vadila. príbeh a život človeka nemám právo hodnotiť.
Tom a jeho žena Karin to mali veľmi ťažké. Veď si to len predstavte. Ste zdravá tehotná žena, pred týždňom vám brali krv a všetko bolo v poriadku a zrazu v jednu noc sa všetko zmení a náhle prichádza choroba a smrť. Tom sa v tejto knihe vypísal zo svojich pocitov. Ako sa snažil vyrovnať so smrťou svojej priateľky a následnou starostlivosťou o ich dcérku. Ako mu jeho otcovstvo komplikovali švédske úrady. A v neposlednom rade o jeho vzťahu k jeho rodičom. Z týchto stránok bolo cítiť ako veľmi mu na jeho blízkych záleží a ako veľmi je dôležité užívať si každý moment života. Áno, Niekedy mi to prišlo napísané veľmi surovo, odborne a ako keby bez citu, ale každý sa so stratou vyrovnáva po svojom. Co sa týka formy tejto knihy, bolo to zlé, mam pocit ze autorovi nikto ani neporadil lebo to bolo strašne chaotické a veľa neznámych mien a občas to nedavalo zmysel. Napriek tomu som si v tom nasla svoje posolstvo. Nízke hodnotenie je len kvôli forme knihy, ktorá mi fakt miestami vadila. príbeh a život človeka nemám právo hodnotiť.
April 21, 2017
Ruotsalaisen runoilijan Tom Malmquistin ensimmäinen romaani perustuu tositapahtumiin. Joka hetki olemme yhä elossa kertoo Tomista ja Karinista, jotka odottavat esikoislastaan, mutta sitten Karin joutuu sairaalaan. Hän on vakavasti sairas, kuolemansairas.
Joka hetki olemme yhä elossa on kirjoitettu kiihkeydellä ja tarkkuudella. Kaikki Karinin sairauteen liittyvät asiat on kirjoitettu kuin kirurgin veitsellä, mikään ei saa lipsua, käden on oltava vakaa. Aivan kuin Karin olisi yhtä sairaalan ja siellä tehtävien toimintojen kanssa.
Kirja on rosoisen surullinen kuvaus läheisen menettämisestä ja surun käsittelemisestä arjen pyöriessä päivä päivältä eteenpäin.
Joka hetki olemme yhä elossa on kirjoitettu kiihkeydellä ja tarkkuudella. Kaikki Karinin sairauteen liittyvät asiat on kirjoitettu kuin kirurgin veitsellä, mikään ei saa lipsua, käden on oltava vakaa. Aivan kuin Karin olisi yhtä sairaalan ja siellä tehtävien toimintojen kanssa.
Kirja on rosoisen surullinen kuvaus läheisen menettämisestä ja surun käsittelemisestä arjen pyöriessä päivä päivältä eteenpäin.
September 1, 2015
Livet och döden. Fragment av liv. Otrolig närvaro i berättelsen. Karin och Tom blev tyvärr aldrig "ett slags lycklig version av Sylvia Plath och Ted Hughes".
January 17, 2018
This is an intense fictionalized autobiographical novel that will pull you in from page 1. At times it reads like a hospital drama but with added feeling and humanity. The book provides a gamut of emotions - at times the main character is confused, grief stricken, selfish and full of love. It is written in a style that takes a bit of getting used to - the author is a poet and it is apparent in his use of language but he moves back and forth from past to present often and the reader needs to really pay attention to his words.
Karin is 8 months pregnant when she passes out and Tom takes her to the hospital. After tests, the doctors determine that she has an acute type of leukemia and they need to deliver the baby as soon as possible. Tom spends his days overwhelmed with grief over Karin's illness and hoping for recovery and overwhelmed by the needs of his newborn baby. He never really has a chance to properly grieve because he has to be mother and father to the baby.
This is an interesting well written story of life and death.
Thanks to the publisher for a copy of this book to read and review. All opinions are my own.
Karin is 8 months pregnant when she passes out and Tom takes her to the hospital. After tests, the doctors determine that she has an acute type of leukemia and they need to deliver the baby as soon as possible. Tom spends his days overwhelmed with grief over Karin's illness and hoping for recovery and overwhelmed by the needs of his newborn baby. He never really has a chance to properly grieve because he has to be mother and father to the baby.
This is an interesting well written story of life and death.
Thanks to the publisher for a copy of this book to read and review. All opinions are my own.
April 19, 2017
Jag var till en början skeptisk, stod och höll i boken under bokrean men köpte den aldrig för att jag tyckte den lät lite trist, lite för sorglig. Sedan såg jag den i bokhyllan i Västerås hos Kaspers mamma och lånade med den hem. Kunde inte låta bli.
Och tänk, det gjorde jag bra. Tom Malmquist skriver på ett sätt som jag önskar att jag själv kunde skriva på - osentimentalt och floskelfritt men ändå så fullt av känsla, så nära.
Det hela inleds hastigt med att Tom och Karin väntar sitt första barn då Karin blir allvarligt sjuk och går bort i samband med födseln. Tom lämnas kvar med lilla Livia och minnen från sitt liv, och hela boken är självbiografiskt uppbyggd med minnesbilder från då och reflekteringar kring nuet. Fyra månader senare går även hans pappa bort i cancer.
Det hela låter jobbigt, men istället för att bli ett manifest över gränslös sorg blir boken snarare en hyllning till livet och den verklighet vi lever i.
"Livias tårar rinner märkvärdigt långsamt när hon blir ledsen, jag kommer att tänka på flytande glas, hon är så verklig, vacker, sann, hon har ett leende som inte bara bekräftar mig, utan allt med mig, bra som dåligt, hon tittar på mig med ögon som har känt mig hela sitt liv. Du vet att jag älskar henne med tyngden av oss, ändå känns det som jag har det bästa bakom mig och det viktigaste framför mig..."
Malmquist är poet och det märks. Hans sätt att skriva lyfter hela boken och gör den snabbläst och berörande, full av liv och bilder. Jag kan tänka mig att vissa som läser boken har svårt för dialogformen, som är helt fri från styckeindelning och talstreck, men jag tycker snarare att den ger texten karaktär. Det är även lätt att bli avskräckt av de mardrömslika första kapitlena då han mest springer i korridorerna på Karolinska och styckena är fulla av sjukhustermer och panikartad dialog. Men sedan, när minnesbilderna från barndomen börjar vävas in och boken tar en lugnare form, då blir jag som lyrisk! Kan även knyta an till hans Huddinge-ursprung, då jag själv är född på Huddinge sjukhus och trots allt växt upp inte så långt därifrån.
Vilken känsla! En stark och fantastiskt biografisk skildring av ett år av sorg. Man tror man vet vad som ska hända innan man börjar läsa, men jag snyftar ändå. Malmquist skriver som en gud. Läs den!
Och tänk, det gjorde jag bra. Tom Malmquist skriver på ett sätt som jag önskar att jag själv kunde skriva på - osentimentalt och floskelfritt men ändå så fullt av känsla, så nära.
Det hela inleds hastigt med att Tom och Karin väntar sitt första barn då Karin blir allvarligt sjuk och går bort i samband med födseln. Tom lämnas kvar med lilla Livia och minnen från sitt liv, och hela boken är självbiografiskt uppbyggd med minnesbilder från då och reflekteringar kring nuet. Fyra månader senare går även hans pappa bort i cancer.
Det hela låter jobbigt, men istället för att bli ett manifest över gränslös sorg blir boken snarare en hyllning till livet och den verklighet vi lever i.
"Livias tårar rinner märkvärdigt långsamt när hon blir ledsen, jag kommer att tänka på flytande glas, hon är så verklig, vacker, sann, hon har ett leende som inte bara bekräftar mig, utan allt med mig, bra som dåligt, hon tittar på mig med ögon som har känt mig hela sitt liv. Du vet att jag älskar henne med tyngden av oss, ändå känns det som jag har det bästa bakom mig och det viktigaste framför mig..."
Malmquist är poet och det märks. Hans sätt att skriva lyfter hela boken och gör den snabbläst och berörande, full av liv och bilder. Jag kan tänka mig att vissa som läser boken har svårt för dialogformen, som är helt fri från styckeindelning och talstreck, men jag tycker snarare att den ger texten karaktär. Det är även lätt att bli avskräckt av de mardrömslika första kapitlena då han mest springer i korridorerna på Karolinska och styckena är fulla av sjukhustermer och panikartad dialog. Men sedan, när minnesbilderna från barndomen börjar vävas in och boken tar en lugnare form, då blir jag som lyrisk! Kan även knyta an till hans Huddinge-ursprung, då jag själv är född på Huddinge sjukhus och trots allt växt upp inte så långt därifrån.
Vilken känsla! En stark och fantastiskt biografisk skildring av ett år av sorg. Man tror man vet vad som ska hända innan man börjar läsa, men jag snyftar ändå. Malmquist skriver som en gud. Läs den!
March 14, 2018
"Death is abstract. It can't be understood."
Tom has a mix of emotions as his partner Karin is rushed to the hospital. He's excited meet the child that they are about to be parents of, but he's not so certain he's ready. A struggling writer, Tom fears that his meager income won't be able to support a family. Still, he knows his love for Karin is unwavering, and Tom can't wait to meet their child.
What is supposed to be a joyous occasion soon takes a cruel turn. A healthy baby girl is born, but Karin is not so lucky. The discovery of acute Leukemia causes complications during the birth, and the doctors are unable to save Karin. In one instant, Tom gains one love while losing another. He is instantly faced with the challenges of being a single parent while grieving for the love of his life.
The novel follows the next year of Tom's life. He grapples with the complexities of grief and love while doing everything he can to give a proper upbringing to his baby girl. he has the support of both his and Karin's parents, but the challenges he faces are uniquely his own. As if the pure emotional obstacles of the situation weren't enough, he also confronts the legal ramifications of not being married to the mother of his daughter and the slow-growing illness that threatens to take the life of his father.
In Every Moment We Are Still Alive is an autobiographical novel by Swedish author Tom Malmquist. The book attempts to tackle the tough subjects of death, grief, and love. While the situation that Tom finds himself in is heartbreaking, I couldn't help but feel a bit removed from the entire story. If felt more as if I were watching everything unfold from above rather than experiencing it with the characters. Whether this is a repercussion of the novel being translated from Malmquist's native language or simply how he chose to present his story, it caused me to have a difficult time connecting on an emotional level with the characters. Still, Malmquist's quiet contemplations about the true meaning of bereavement and family make the novel one worthy of reading. I didn't have the emotional experience that I though the novel would bring, but I definitely found myself reflecting upon the illness and death that has passed through my own life in the last year.
Tom has a mix of emotions as his partner Karin is rushed to the hospital. He's excited meet the child that they are about to be parents of, but he's not so certain he's ready. A struggling writer, Tom fears that his meager income won't be able to support a family. Still, he knows his love for Karin is unwavering, and Tom can't wait to meet their child.
What is supposed to be a joyous occasion soon takes a cruel turn. A healthy baby girl is born, but Karin is not so lucky. The discovery of acute Leukemia causes complications during the birth, and the doctors are unable to save Karin. In one instant, Tom gains one love while losing another. He is instantly faced with the challenges of being a single parent while grieving for the love of his life.
The novel follows the next year of Tom's life. He grapples with the complexities of grief and love while doing everything he can to give a proper upbringing to his baby girl. he has the support of both his and Karin's parents, but the challenges he faces are uniquely his own. As if the pure emotional obstacles of the situation weren't enough, he also confronts the legal ramifications of not being married to the mother of his daughter and the slow-growing illness that threatens to take the life of his father.
In Every Moment We Are Still Alive is an autobiographical novel by Swedish author Tom Malmquist. The book attempts to tackle the tough subjects of death, grief, and love. While the situation that Tom finds himself in is heartbreaking, I couldn't help but feel a bit removed from the entire story. If felt more as if I were watching everything unfold from above rather than experiencing it with the characters. Whether this is a repercussion of the novel being translated from Malmquist's native language or simply how he chose to present his story, it caused me to have a difficult time connecting on an emotional level with the characters. Still, Malmquist's quiet contemplations about the true meaning of bereavement and family make the novel one worthy of reading. I didn't have the emotional experience that I though the novel would bring, but I definitely found myself reflecting upon the illness and death that has passed through my own life in the last year.
May 10, 2017
In Every Moment we are still Alive by Tom Malmquist was a good reads win
I liked the cover of the book. At first glance it was plain white, but when tilted the title of the book was visible in shiny white. The spine had a pattern of pink flowers. I thought it put over the idea of transience, things being there but not there.
Tom is having to face the unexpected death of his partner as well as the decline and death of his father. He has to cope with being sole carer of his premature new born daughter, Livia.
I related to the fact that acute stress causes the mind and eyes to focus on minute details. I could not, however, feel the stress and pain that Tom was going through. I found the narrative jumped through time and I was not sure where I was. The chapters were too long, and I frequently lost concentration. Sorry – not my kind of book.
January 15, 2018
DNF
Unfortunately I didn’t finish the book. I got to about 24% in and I couldn’t continue. I don’t give bad reviews lightly and I did want to continue reading to give the author credit for their work.
The format of the book was very off putting- no paragraphs, no chapters, no speech marks. I could overlook this however for the story. Yet the story didn’t grasp me.
The writing was very disjointed to me. Very to the point and 2D. For example a conversation with a nurse...
“Hi,come in, I should tell you right away that Karin is bleeding from her vagina after the C-section...”
I understand the complications from such a surgery but I’m positive that a nurse would be a little more graceful with her words. I just didn’t find it believable. I felt like the characters needed to be fleshed out more.
Very good idea for a book, it just wasn’t executed well.
Unfortunately I didn’t finish the book. I got to about 24% in and I couldn’t continue. I don’t give bad reviews lightly and I did want to continue reading to give the author credit for their work.
The format of the book was very off putting- no paragraphs, no chapters, no speech marks. I could overlook this however for the story. Yet the story didn’t grasp me.
The writing was very disjointed to me. Very to the point and 2D. For example a conversation with a nurse...
“Hi,come in, I should tell you right away that Karin is bleeding from her vagina after the C-section...”
I understand the complications from such a surgery but I’m positive that a nurse would be a little more graceful with her words. I just didn’t find it believable. I felt like the characters needed to be fleshed out more.
Very good idea for a book, it just wasn’t executed well.
May 31, 2017
(3,5)
100 första sidorna - fantastiska, sorgliga, trovärdiga, berörde mig så mycket.
20 sista sidorna - så välskrivna och poetiska men ändå tydliga.
Sidorna däremellan är ibland lite långsamma och lite svåra att få grepp om. Det är ett myller av sorg vilket även i verkligheten är svårt att greppa, så det kan ju vara något avsiktligt. Det är väldigt många namn som droppas vilket kan kännas lite rörigt. Dialogen är skriven utan citationstecken eller talstreck, och den blir därför något mer svårläst.
Precis som Malmquists sommarprat är det absolut inte så sorgligt som det skulle kunna vara, vilket jag tycker är lite skönt. Ingen semesterläsning dock!
100 första sidorna - fantastiska, sorgliga, trovärdiga, berörde mig så mycket.
20 sista sidorna - så välskrivna och poetiska men ändå tydliga.
Sidorna däremellan är ibland lite långsamma och lite svåra att få grepp om. Det är ett myller av sorg vilket även i verkligheten är svårt att greppa, så det kan ju vara något avsiktligt. Det är väldigt många namn som droppas vilket kan kännas lite rörigt. Dialogen är skriven utan citationstecken eller talstreck, och den blir därför något mer svårläst.
Precis som Malmquists sommarprat är det absolut inte så sorgligt som det skulle kunna vara, vilket jag tycker är lite skönt. Ingen semesterläsning dock!
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April 25, 2017Won in Goodreads Giveaways - not read passed on.
May 24, 2017
En helt okej bok. Tyckte definitivt inte att den var dålig, men jag kan nog inte heller påstå att jag tyckte om den. Mörk, tung och ganska långsam.
March 20, 2018
In several email groups in which I participate, the topic of "auto-fiction" has come up. It's memoir that has been loosely fictionalized or in which fictional structures are employed to tell a generally true story. Any good memoir does this, I think, although labeling a book "fiction" would give the author more freedom to invent than labeling it as "memoir."
I read the glowing review of In Every Moment We Are Still Alive by Tom Malmquist and immediately ordered it from my library. The first section, in which Tom brings his pregnant wife to the hospital because she has flu and is in respiratory distress is clinical, breathless and emotionally intense. The story is written in present tense and I felt the author's confusion and desperation as things quickly get out of control and his wife's condition worsens. The book describes this horrible time and then moves back and forth in time so that we learn about Tom and Karin's meeting, Tom's childhood, his daughter Livia's first weeks. I was grabbed immediately and found the back story and the future story as Malmquist speaks to Karin about their daughter's possible life far in the future.
I've read a few reviews in which readers describe being put off by the writing style (no quotation marks, resulting confusion about who is speaking and when the speaker changes). Occasionally, I needed to reread bec. I was confused, but this was rare. Mostly I was down the rabbit hole with Tom, or savoring his memories of being with Karin, even those memories that were less than perfect. Karin existed for Tom and therefore still does, in a way that she won't for her daughter. For Livia, Karin will be stories and photographs.
This brings up the title for me. In Every Moment We Are Still Alive...It seemed to me that the title is speaking of both literal "aliveness"...electrical activity in the heart, and how we experience that aliveness even when the experience is utter grief, turmoil and sleeplessness...and the kind of aliveness we have when our story intertwines with others'...our family, our friends, our children, our loves. The kind of aliveness Karin has for her parents, and for Tom.
In spite of how painful it was to read, I couldn't stop. I realized, after the first hospital scenes, that I was going to learn the back story, and that Tom and Karin's ordinary life as well as their love and their excitement and fear about having a baby were all going to be part of the book. I see it as much a story about keeping Karin alive as it is an experience of Tom's nearly unbearable grief at losing her.
Here are some passages that I marked: Tom, the teller of this story, is speaking to the Vicar who will officiate at Tom's wife's memorial: " Obviously you don't have to answer this, but did you doubt your faith when it happened? I ask. The way I usually put it is, prayer is doubt, why else would anyone pray? He tries to look me in the eye. I feel uncomfortable, and keep my gaze on Livia...My son lived till he was twelve, I hit the wall, one of my best friends moved in with us, he saw how bad I was feeling, he realized I didn't have the strength to come back, and so he asked me, Totta, the grief you're feeling now, would you exchange it for never having known Johannes at all?
P. 171 also had two honest and tender entries from Karin's journal. How much honesty can a memoir contain? Should it contain?
I read the glowing review of In Every Moment We Are Still Alive by Tom Malmquist and immediately ordered it from my library. The first section, in which Tom brings his pregnant wife to the hospital because she has flu and is in respiratory distress is clinical, breathless and emotionally intense. The story is written in present tense and I felt the author's confusion and desperation as things quickly get out of control and his wife's condition worsens. The book describes this horrible time and then moves back and forth in time so that we learn about Tom and Karin's meeting, Tom's childhood, his daughter Livia's first weeks. I was grabbed immediately and found the back story and the future story as Malmquist speaks to Karin about their daughter's possible life far in the future.
I've read a few reviews in which readers describe being put off by the writing style (no quotation marks, resulting confusion about who is speaking and when the speaker changes). Occasionally, I needed to reread bec. I was confused, but this was rare. Mostly I was down the rabbit hole with Tom, or savoring his memories of being with Karin, even those memories that were less than perfect. Karin existed for Tom and therefore still does, in a way that she won't for her daughter. For Livia, Karin will be stories and photographs.
This brings up the title for me. In Every Moment We Are Still Alive...It seemed to me that the title is speaking of both literal "aliveness"...electrical activity in the heart, and how we experience that aliveness even when the experience is utter grief, turmoil and sleeplessness...and the kind of aliveness we have when our story intertwines with others'...our family, our friends, our children, our loves. The kind of aliveness Karin has for her parents, and for Tom.
In spite of how painful it was to read, I couldn't stop. I realized, after the first hospital scenes, that I was going to learn the back story, and that Tom and Karin's ordinary life as well as their love and their excitement and fear about having a baby were all going to be part of the book. I see it as much a story about keeping Karin alive as it is an experience of Tom's nearly unbearable grief at losing her.
Here are some passages that I marked: Tom, the teller of this story, is speaking to the Vicar who will officiate at Tom's wife's memorial: " Obviously you don't have to answer this, but did you doubt your faith when it happened? I ask. The way I usually put it is, prayer is doubt, why else would anyone pray? He tries to look me in the eye. I feel uncomfortable, and keep my gaze on Livia...My son lived till he was twelve, I hit the wall, one of my best friends moved in with us, he saw how bad I was feeling, he realized I didn't have the strength to come back, and so he asked me, Totta, the grief you're feeling now, would you exchange it for never having known Johannes at all?
P. 171 also had two honest and tender entries from Karin's journal. How much honesty can a memoir contain? Should it contain?
February 15, 2018
*Giveaway for one copy of this book, US only, ends 2/20/18 on my Instagram: @Katyslibrary*
Thank you so much TLC Book Tours and Melville House for sending me a copy of this book for review and having me on this book tour!
Tom Malmquist writes a heartbreaking fictional story based on what he experienced in his own personal life. The grief he deals with is profound and what he has to go through in the wake of that grief is almost unbearable. A touching story with insights into the Swedish culture, though the writing was not my favorite, I rated this book 3 stars.
Grief, such as what Tom experienced, is unbearable. This starts off right away with his pregnant girlfriend in the hospital and learning of her illness that she shortly dies from. The story follows after her death with bits of flash back thrown in to show insight into Karin and Tom’s relationship. And when you think it can’t get any harder for Tom, his father falls seriously ill as well and passes away. The parts with his daughter Livia were also incredibly heartbreaking, but at the same time amazing.
For such a strong story and touching in so many ways I lacked any connection to it. The writing style was not one I would want to read again. There were many long drawn out sentences or paragraphs, there was no breaks or quotations in conversations which made it very hard to follow any of the dialog. There was also a detached sort of feel to the whole story. I was told it was sad and could obviously see how hard and tragic this story is, but there wasn’t much emotion. This made it very hard for me to really feel any strong feelings through out this book.
Overall, this is a short read and if you don’t mind this particular writing style I would recommend picking up this book as it tells a really good emotional story.
Thank you so much TLC Book Tours and Melville House for sending me a copy of this book for review and having me on this book tour!
Tom Malmquist writes a heartbreaking fictional story based on what he experienced in his own personal life. The grief he deals with is profound and what he has to go through in the wake of that grief is almost unbearable. A touching story with insights into the Swedish culture, though the writing was not my favorite, I rated this book 3 stars.
Grief, such as what Tom experienced, is unbearable. This starts off right away with his pregnant girlfriend in the hospital and learning of her illness that she shortly dies from. The story follows after her death with bits of flash back thrown in to show insight into Karin and Tom’s relationship. And when you think it can’t get any harder for Tom, his father falls seriously ill as well and passes away. The parts with his daughter Livia were also incredibly heartbreaking, but at the same time amazing.
For such a strong story and touching in so many ways I lacked any connection to it. The writing style was not one I would want to read again. There were many long drawn out sentences or paragraphs, there was no breaks or quotations in conversations which made it very hard to follow any of the dialog. There was also a detached sort of feel to the whole story. I was told it was sad and could obviously see how hard and tragic this story is, but there wasn’t much emotion. This made it very hard for me to really feel any strong feelings through out this book.
Overall, this is a short read and if you don’t mind this particular writing style I would recommend picking up this book as it tells a really good emotional story.
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