Above Head Height: A Five-A-Side Life

by James Brown

'The Fever PItch of five-a-side' TONY PARSONSA must-have for anyone who has ever played and enjoyed amateur football.James Brown has been playing football since growing up in the backstreets of Leeds. The sudden death of one his long-standing team mates made James ponder the unique bond between men who meet each other once a week for years, but don't know any personal details beyond pitch prowess.Five-a-Side football is where you play the beautiful game for love, not money. You play it for life and you play it everywhere. Your kit is damp and your legs are a leopard's back of bruises. Shirts are often tight around the belly, with your hero's name plastered across your shoulder blades. The showers are too cold in winter and too hot in summer. Your used sports bag stays unpacked in the hall, and your water bottles are under the kitchen sink. The post-match warm down takes place in the pub. As does the match analysis. By contrast the warm up is non-existent. Your performance is patchy and maybe not what it used to be. But we all still think we played great. Five-a-Side is sporting Karaoke - a time and place to live out our dreams.This is a book for all of us - school mates, work colleagues, total strangers - bonded by the desire to blast one into the net from two feet away.

Genres: Football, Nonfiction

334 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 9, 2017

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.

James Brown is an English journalist, author, radio host and media entrepreneur.

Reviews

[Simon Adams · Rating 2 out of 5]

It took a while to plough through this book. I'm not sure what it wants to be; allegory on life? Collection of anecdotes? Autobiography of the author? Extension of a Loaded magazine article? It succeeds in none of these really. Sure, there are certain poignant moments, and situations or observations that resonate, but too few and too many characters 'mentioned' with descriptions that would make only those 'in the know' (ie personally played in the games) chuckle.
It's readable but rare a book takes me over a month - especially with an Easter break thrown in.
As a tribute to James Brown's friend, yes it works, but presumably should be just shared among those who knew James Kyllo and not the mainstream.

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

What started off as a book based on the camaraderie between friends or coworkers playing football, spent too much time relaying tall tales from Twitter, and was just a bit too long.

This perhaps comes from the inspiration for the book - an article that went viral ('my viral article' was egotistically scattered throughout the book by Brown) based on the sad loss of one of his regular footballing friends. There is genuine affection there, and the books strengths are the author's genuine enthusiasm for football and his mates.

What Brown does especially well is transporting you into the game, and accurately captures the feelings amateur footballers feel, and how we (or certainly I) remember the little touches that add to the play, but don't live long in others' memories, as well as reflecting on our goals far longer than anyone else can even recall them. There is also the contradiction of us playing in a big occasion like our footballing heroes, but in acknowledgment that in the cold light of day, we're rubbish, and that's why we're doing it after work rather than as a day job. And despite our relative inability, we've still got styles of play akin to the professionals.

We also notice the type of kits and approach we each take to the game, and focus on them extensively, and yet Brown relates how we often know little about these people away from the organised social setting. Yet somehow, we know them extensively in one area, and that adds to the sense of how big the game can feel, despite having no influence on anyone else who isn't involved. Brown gets a lot of mileage from his own games, and it doesn't fall flat despite us having no idea who he is talking of much of the time.

Unfortunately, Brown can only get so far with his own (extensive) experience, and in a bit to either pad the story out, or be more inclusive, ventures beyond his friends and acquaintances to gather stories from Twitter. Now, this isn't inherently bad, but Brown has clearly picked the juiciest, and therefore somewhat unlikely, stories. One particular Wigan-based contributor has many outlandish stories akin to Jay in the Inbetweeners, and all that was missing from his team's wondrous exploits on the field was his team seducing the gym bunnies at the sports centre each week post-game. His tales of the team he knew when younger, whose behaviour could best be described as 'morally dubious' hint at an attitude of 'I might be an old sod now, but I was cool, honest!!' He did also look at the history of organised five-a-side however, and this was one area of the book where he had actually done some genuinely interesting research, if a little colloquially.

The passion comes through, and he can clearly write well, but there is a limit to how much can be said about five-a-side, and unfortunately that limit is exceeded in this, and could have shaved a fifth off it easily. However, it did make me immediately pine for a night on the astroturf, so he clearly did something right.

[Tony · Rating 2 out of 5]

In England, organized 5v5 football is an established business, with leagues, tables, etc, and there's certainly no lack of people to get together with on a regular basis for 8v8 or 11v11 games on weekends, nights, etc... Brown is one of those guys who at just over 50 is still running around several days a week, chasing the perfect volley, chip, and through-ball, before his body gives out (more or less like myself). When one of his longtime playing mates died unexpectedly in 2015, Brown wrote a nice elegy to him and the odd fellowship of playing a game regularly with other guys you barely know. That article led to a book pitch, contract, and finally this book.

Unfortunately, that article is probably the best part of the book. Brown, who is a British media dude most famous for helping launch the "lad mag" sector in the late '90s with "loaded", and for being a legendary boozer and cocaine maniac, could have really benefited from a ghostwriter or editor in trying to tease this out into a book-length job, because he struggles to find any kind of framework for the book. It lurches from short loosely-themed chapter to short loosely-themed chapter (30 of them) without apparent structure.

Don't get me wrong, there are some very nice segments -- I particularly enjoyed one about when your kids get old enough to join in the games. There's a quite good one that tries to tease out the history of the organized game in England, and efforts to expand to the US market. That also felt like a solid magazine piece. But far too many of the chapters are loose assemblages of anecdotes from his own life or culled from responses on Twitter or Facebook to his call-outs for stories. And like most sports stories, they're pretty tedious on the page if you weren't there or don't know the people.

(Speaking of which -- a word of warning for the non-British reader. There's a heavy dose of nostalgia throughout the book, and while I more or less enjoyed the chapter where he describes the state and practice of childhood football in 1970s Leeds, the book is littered with references to players, comedians, foods, and pop culture elements that meant nothing to me as an American reader.)

Like Brown, I'm at the age where I'm one injury away from never kicking a ball again, and I can completely identify with the weird disconnect of getting together with guys every week for years, but knowing very little about their off-pitch lives. But I just couldn't connect with much of his sloppy writing and slapdash thinking, and I can't really say it's worth slogging through it all to find the very few decent nuggets.

[Tim Roast · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is "the autobiography of an amateur footballer, but it's not so much [his] story as our story." It contains tales from the author's life (related to five-a-side) but also assorted anecdotes from others (also related to five-a-side). And given the author was the founder of loaded magazine it is in the style of that. "The world of five-a-side can be as much about what happens off the pitch with your mates as on."

Originally I didn't see why he was making such a big deal over the distinction between five-a-side and normal football but the stats are presented in here (although not right at the beginning - this is not an academic paper) suggesting there is a movement from mainstream football to five-a-side. "Sport England have stated that since 2010 eleven-a-side games have been decreasing significantly, while between 2010 and 2013 alone organized leagues declined by 3,000 teams. At the same time small-sided games have been increasing significantly as the organized leagues and branded five-a-side centres have expanded into full-blown, trusted brands."

Indeed he delved into the history of five-a-side centres in the UK (with some proper journalism to go with the rest of the book) and found out that despite centres being quite commonplace now the first astroturf style centres only started appearing in the late-80s, with organised leagues starting in the 70s in sports halls.

Other than that though the book is quite autobiographical detailing his love of football, his love of five-a-side, his detest of the rules such as above head height (because it denied him a brilliant volley of a goal but also because it causes disputes that eat up his playing time), his struggle with his fitness... But also he writes more generally how the players all delude themselves as they think they are Cruyff or whoever. And there is plenty of humour too, like his telling of an ex-coach whose catchphrase was "we're cooking with gas now" which gave the opposition plenty of laughs.

The book was also inspired somewhat by the organizer of his regular five-a-side gatherings who sadly passed away, James Kyllo. "The Sunday after he died, we gathered around the centre circle and stood for what seemed like five minutes silence."

So a decent read for football fans, with plenty to relate to.

[Adam Edwards · Rating 2 out of 5]

It’s quite difficult - New Order - to read this book without - The Cult - tripping over - Beastie Boys - all of the - Robbie Williams - namedropping on every - David Baddiel - single page.
There is a huge amount of namedropping but aside from that the book is mainly just collections of stories about people you don’t know. Probably hilarious if you’re the people in the stories; odds are you aren’t. Without being mean-spirited this probably a book that the author himself loves because it’s basically about his mates. For an outsider (and huge lover of football in all forms) it’s mostly all over the place and doesn’t really delve into anything at all in depth. 2 stars because a few of the stories from strangers on twitter are funny...but only a few.

[William · Rating 2 out of 5]

That was a bit disappointing. I was hoping from the description that it would be a book about playing and getting to know who James Kyllo was because he realized he never had. But instead it was a half done collection of thoughts and interviews, with celebrity name drops and references to personal memories that mean nothing to the reader. Could have done with some structure, and some thought in the chapters. Every chapter seemed incomplete, like they were all written separately whenever the thought came to him.

[Steven Pilling · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well when it's good it's good and I'm biased we went to the same school grew up in same area , so the historical stuff is good , some of the adult stuff is fun but there feels an element of I have some stories some funny some only funny to me and I can hang them together like this.

The fame stuff is pretty tedious but I did enjoy parts of the book

[Alexander Bancroft · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a five a side player it is worth reading. I had hoped it would focus more on the friendships built while playing, as opposed to forming a collection of essays. Though still a book any pick up football player can relate to.

[Ben McKeown · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny and insightful but overly long and repetitive, needed a better editor.

[Paul Foley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Started off well, his childhood etc was a interesting story. But it just went on too long, the last 100 pages could have be dramatically reduced.
An ok light read, got boring after a while.

[Richard · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very enjoyable book to read. As a keen five a sider myself, I frequently caught myself smiling in recognition at the stories that fill the book, and it made me want to put my astroboots on more often than I currently do. Would recommend to anyone with an interest in football.

[Samuel Tyler · Rating 3 out of 5]

There comes a point that you have to judge by its cover and if not the cover, at least the first few pages. James Brown will be known to some, perhaps as the creator of Loaded and Jack, or his stints on TV and Radio. However, you may not know that he is a regular player of 5 aside football – we are talking several times a week. He is quick to tell you that this book is not an autobiography as such, but an exploration of why so many people love the smaller version of the beautiful game. You are forewarned, this is footy seen through the prism of Brown’s own experiences and those gleaned from Twitter.

For players of 5 aside football, ‘Above Head Height’ is a treasure trove of nostalgia. Brown blends the lad lit feel of ‘Where Did it All Go Right?’ by Andrew Collins with a real exploration of 5 aside, down to the nitty gritty. Elements of the book are excellent; the chapter that explores violence on the pitch or the chapter on meeting famous players. These sections are enhanced by Brown using the Twitter community to tell their own stories, we are not only reading about Brown’s life, but also countless other people. It is here that you feel the sense of community that the game provides, a common point for so many different people across the country.

The other sections that are great are the actual autographical parts. Brown is keen to suggest that the book is not about him, but many parts are. We learn about him growing up in Leeds and how these local games of knockabout enthused his love for the game. However, it is the truly autobiographical elements that lie just beneath the surface, so tantalisingly close, that are really interesting. Brown mentions his substance abuse issues and how football helped him. You get the impression that a book about Brown’s life off the pitch would be a very interesting read.

Brown’s obsession with different forms of football suggests that perhaps he has replaced one addiction for another. Football is far less destructive that drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, but his several games a week still have an impact on his life. Indeed the book itself suggests that 5 aside is somewhat of a crutch. Was this actually meant to be a straight autobiography, but instead the author hid behind football again?

There are some interesting chapters on football and some interesting autobiographical chapters, but this is not the entire book. It is when the autobiographical and the football mix that things become – boring. Brown has partaken in many different teams over the years as you learn in the book. What we do not need to know is a mini summary of every player that has ever set foot on the pitch with him. The book was originally inspired by the death of a teammate and exploring that person is key to the narrative, but it feels as if Brown wants to give a shout out to everyone, and I mean everyone. Dazza, Gazza, Bazza and Razza, Donna, Blitzen and Ronaldo – all get their paragraph of fame and the book drags in places because of it. This does not happen once or twice in the book, but several times. You begin to dread the moment you realise that Brown has just stumbled across another team to play with.

With large chunks of almost encyclopaedic levels of detail on players most readers don’t know and will never meet, Brown has taken a pacy and funny book and really slowed it down. There is a lot here for fans of 5-10 aside football as they will see a lot of themselves in Brown and the characters. People who do not play, or are actually interested in Brown as the man, will find chunks of the book a chore, which is a shame as large parts are very well done.