I started rereading the original sixty-two-book Goosebumps series just over three years ago now, in early June 2022. But alas, all good things come to an end. The Haunted Mask will likely be the last book I ever read in this series. You're probably wondering why, with the most logical guess being "because he's read them all." But that's not it. Over these past three years, I've read thirty-five of the sixty-two, just over half.
The reason I won't be reading any more is because this is the last one I have that isn't a collectible, and I just don't have any desire to go out and buy the remaining books. They've largely been a disappointment, and some are unspeakably bad, and among the worst books I've ever read. Let's see, what were some of the worst ones...
I think The Barking Ghost and Vampire Breath were by far the worst of the ones I read, both one star and both among the very worst books I've ever read. And so many of them were two stars, looking back at my ratings. So many stinkers.
Some were really great, in all fairness, but I never gave one a five star rating. The Cuckoo Clock of Doom, The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight, Welcome to Camp Nightmare, Piano Lessons Can Be Murder, Night of the Living Dummy III, Egg Monsters From Mars, Beware, the Snowman, and The Blob That Ate Everyone were my favourites of the ones I read. I gave all of those four stars and would recommend them.
I might make a comeback someday and read some of the Goosebumps Series 2000 books, as I own about half of those (it's a twenty-five-book series), and I've heard those ones are a lot darker, but even if I did that I don't think it would be for years. I need a break from this stuff. A long break. Will I miss them? Sure. They've been a part of my life for the past three years now. I've read these amid the backdrop of brutal winters, Halloweens, and summer thunderstorms. I've read them at work on my lunch. I've read them on public transit. I've read them on vacations I've taken. They've just always been there, you know? I'll remember my time reading them.
It was an experience, and though a mostly negative one, it was one with bright spots. And even some of the dreadful books were fun to read just because of how bad they were. I'd tell people in my orbit about some nonsensical thing Stine put in the plot, or something that straight up just didn't make any sense, and we'd laugh about how stupid it was together. Sometimes hysterically. So I had fun, you guys. I had fun.
Unfortunately, I didn't really like my last Goosebumps book, The Haunted Mask, very much and that's a bummer. I know this is a classic and is loved by many in the community, but I just thought it was very average. So much of this book is just overwritten: probably half of it was just Carly Beth running around the streets while freaking out, pleading with the party store owner to sell her the mask or, later, to take it off for her, that kind of thing. Scenes that went on for way too long and made a lot of the book seem like needless filler. I must admit I did breathe a sigh of relief at the end when she finally got the mask off though, so I did feel the claustrophobia of her being stuck in there.
Anyway, here we are, my friends. The end of our collective three-year original Goosebumps series reading adventure. I hope you got some joy out of these reviews, and if you're ever looking for a laugh, you can always go back and read some of my reviews of the worst ones. It can be funny to read someone raging against a terrible book, and I think I did that with a few of these!
Until we meet again, in one of my other rambling reviews,
Ethan