Dare to Dream: My Struggle to Become a Mum – A Story of Heartache and Hope

by Izzy Judd

Izzy Judd shares the story of her and her husband Harry's fertility journey in this honest and heartfelt memoir. 'All I ever wanted was to be a mum - I couldn't wait and it felt as though my time was so close. But the months started to tick by, with each one ending in disappointment and frustration. And then the inevitable panic started to set in ...' Having been told by doctors that, due to Izzy's polycystic ovarian syndrome, they would have difficulty conceiving - and after two years of trying - Izzy and Harry turned to IVF. Izzy's aim, drawing on her own experience, is to break through some of the taboos surrounding miscarriage, IVF and fertility issues. This brutally honest and deeply personal account will acknowledge the struggles that so many couples go through but will ultimately focus on the positive, life-changing and remarkable results that IVF can yield. One in seven couples in the UK have difficulty conceiving and although many babies are now born through IVF, there is still a sense of awkwardness around the subject. Izzy hopes that this book will be a companion to those going through similar challenges to those she has experienced. As she herself says, 'No couple should have to go through it alone and in silence.'

Genres: Nonfiction, Autobiography, Audiobook, Memoir

288 pages, Hardcover

First published June 29, 2017

About the author

Izzy Judd was born into a musical family in 1984. She studied the violin first at Chethams School of Music and then The Royal Academy of Music. She was a member of electric string quartet Escala, who took part in Britain's Got Talent in 2008 and went on to release a top-ten album with Simon Cowell's label SYCO. Izzy met Harry Judd on McFly's Wonderland tour in 2005 and they married in 2012. Izzy is now a full-time mum to their daughter Lola.

Reviews

[ThatBookGal · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't enjoy this book. I found it contrived, way too self praising and often it read like a sales pitch for different businesses that I would never be able to afford the services of. As a woman potentially about to undergo IVF, and struggling massively with my emotions, I wanted so badly for this to be a source of comfort and was so excited to read it. I just found that it put into stark reality how much easier this is if you can go private and if you have money. Izzy and Harry started their fertility journey just a month after trying, for most of us we have to wait at least 2 years before our drs will even take us seriously. By the time they had their baby in their arms, most of us are still undergoing initial tests. Another area I (and many of my fertility friends) struggle with is going to work and pretending its fine. Izzy never had this, she had freedom to sit at home and deal with her emotions, or travel the world with her husband by her side. I ultimately felt like the point of this book was to make you feel normal when you go through this journey, but for me it failed. I'm pleased for Harry and Izzy they have their babies, really pleased, but I would not personally recommend this read to anyone in my position.

[MantaRaye · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never have I read such an honest and heart felt story. This book has taught me so much and I'm not even starting a family any time soon. This is a must read for any one who wants a family or suffers with anxiety. Izzy is an inspiration and should be rewarded for the openness she's brought to this topic.

[Kaisha (The Writing Garnet) · Rating 5 out of 5]

All reviews can be found on my blog at https://thewritinggarnet.wordpress.com

When it comes to books written about a real life person and their ACTUAL life, how on Earth do we begin to review the book? In other book reviews we may discuss the pace of the book, or how it was written...things like that. But let's be honest, it would take someone with the character of a female dog to start reviewing this book in terms of 'storyline', 'plot', and how 'believable' the entire book was. So, whilst I am still calling this post a review, I sure as hell won't be pulling apart anything except the thoughts from my mind. After all, who are we to judge someone else lifestyle and the harrowing situations which they had to face?

As most people are aware, Izzy Judd is in the public eye (just like her husband Mcfly drummer - Harry Judd). Because of that, certain parts of their lifestyle will make the media before they have had time to finish their morning cuppa, or, in Izzy's case, write a book about it. We all know that the media can stretch things. We all know that the media can put two and two together to make five. However, the media is was brought Izzy's journey to light in passing and luckily, all of us would have the chance of reading her story in her very own words thanks to this book.

Why did I choose to read 'Dare to Dream'? Well, as a huge fan of Mcfly and Escala (Izzy's old group), I wanted to know more about their real lives away from the spotlight. Plus, seeing as 'Dare to Dream' is about such a personal and sensitive topic, I knew that whilst Izzy's journey was a different one, I knew that I would be able to relate with the overall topic of fertility itself. Back in 2011 I was diagnosed with a chronic illness which ended up making me think that I would never be able to have children or, if I did fall pregnant, I knew that the risks of miscarriage and such, were all extremely high. I may not have had IVF, but I have fertility struggles. For me, 'Dare to Dream' became the voice of unborn babies and ready wombs everywhere.

Naively, I always thought that IVF worked every time, literally being a case of doctors putting the fertilised egg back in the womb and away you go. Oh my goodness I couldn't have been more wrong! Based on Izzy's own personal experience, getting her body emotionally and physically ready for IVF seemed to be an extremely challenging experience, and that was before the IVF even started! Not only were the Judd's dealing with a lot of negative emotions due to conceiving not happening naturally as it were, they found themselves (Izzy more so) having to completely change their mindset when it came to pregnancy. Having dealt with multiple blows, I am in awe at how Izzy turned her emotional wellbeing upside down, gave herself a little shake and climbed through the mud, despite not knowing what could be waiting for her on the other side. Whilst some people may say that if you truly want something you'll walk to the end of the Earth to get it, I truly believe that it takes a certain amount of strength to keep going along a path when all you want to do is hide. Through the fear. Through the emotional turbulence. Through the hormonal and physical changes outwit your control. THAT takes, in my eyes, severe courage, strength, and power to be able to get you and your body through that. I am completely in awe at what I read -  I admire Izzy Judd so much after reading this.

Obviously, if you haven't been through something yourself, or been indirectly involved with someone who has, understanding that situation can be quite difficult, if not impossible. How can you know how someone feels after having needles stuck into their stomachs? How can you understand someone's pain that their body isn't working how they thought it should? How can you begin to understand someone's journey one hundred percent, if you're not THEM? You.....can't. Izzy made it perfectly clear on more than one occasion that, whilst multiple people go down the IVF route, her journey and everyone else's journey are completely separate and personal to each person. That said, Izzy also included some rather lovely hints and tips should anyone feel that they wish to try something which they hadn't thought of before, whilst embarking on their IVF journey.

What made me quite emotional (aside from Izzy and Harry's journey), was how Izzy thought of other people whilst going through her own situations. It's clear from the onset that Izzy wanted to write this book to bring awareness to fertility issues via her own story, however, I found my eyes leaking when I read how Izzy also wrote this book with other people in mind, whilst wanting to ensure that nobody ever felt alone whilst going through their fertility struggles. 

I've said it before in this post, but I'll say it again; Izzy Judd is such a remarkable woman with an extremely big heart. I loved how in 'Dare to Dream', we got to read Harry's side of the story as well, especially as it's clear that the women can only house the baby, their partners are involved in the emotional side from a soon-to-be father point of view, as well as a loving partner. Even though I am a single mum, it was refreshing to see the journey from both angles.

'Dare to Dream' hit home in many ways from the emotional struggles, to the fertility struggles, to the feelings of self-doubt and failure. 'Dare to Dream' made me feel as though there is hope. I was lucky enough to become a mum the one time, however my fertility issues still continue and my body (and future babies) are forever at risk. Reading Izzy Judd's honest and emotional story made me feel as though there was now a little angel sitting on my shoulder, ready to be the voice of hope, love, positivity and friendship. Honestly? I wish I had a friend in my life like Izzy Judd, I'm not going to lie.

A beautifully written, heartbreakingly poignant story about love, life, loss, but most importantly - faith.

'Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain' - my all time favourite quote.

[RuthyMB · Rating 3 out of 5]

This isn’t a book I would have purchased, particularly as I’m not purchasing books in 2021 so I can get the books I own read. However I found this book on a bench at the weekend on my walk with a note on it for someone to read. I figured if I read it straight away and put it back on the bench it wouldn’t weigh to heavily on my to be read pile.

A nice memoir by Izzy Judd speaking about her difficulties to have a family. She details the tough times her and her husband go through and then the surprise second child whi came along naturally after IVF. That’s all I can say really! She seems lovely. She’s married to the drummer from Mcfly.

[Sally Stone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Feel incredibly lucky to have been able to read this book - it’s written absolutely wonderfully and such a big help!

[Stacey Louise Crehan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful...

I downloaded Izzy’s book a few years ago whilst I was going through ivf myself and I couldn’t actually bring myself to read it even though I’d had a baby girl through ivf the emotions of going through it were still very raw. I started to read Izzy’s story then found out I was pregnant, I couldn’t concentrate properly so put it away for a day or two. Sadly my baby wasn’t to be so I’ve been reading Izzy’s story and it’s helping me so much. I’ve highlighted parts that Izzy has written about which I too have so desperately felt but didn’t ever dare say aloud. Infertility is such a taboo subject it’s refreshing to see someone especially in the public eye talk about infertility with such honesty and openness. Thank you Izzy you’ve helped me and thousands of others more than you will ever know.

[Selina Skinner · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who has gone through ivf and a subsequent miscarriage and am facing the prospect of ivf again I eagerly waited for the release of this book. I have followed izzys journey and connected with her through social media and recently met her at her book signing for this book.
I got the audio version and physical copy of this book and it didn't disappoint. Listening to her having gone through the same agony we have but still keeping hope in those dark days has really helped me. The book is a very real depiction of the ups and downs of the struggle with infertility that only those who have gone through it can truly understand. Izzy makes you feel less alone with this book and offers tips and advice on how to survive it.
Highly recommend for anyone struggling to have a baby

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where do I begin? I began reading this while expecting my first baby. Reading of Izzy’s struggles I did feel a little guilty here I was 6 months pregnant after trying/not preventing for a couple of months, but as I kept reading I still could relate to her. The first few months of my husband and I trying when google got the best of me, the tears at a negative test, the disappointment when my monthly gift finally showed up, and her struggle with anxiety. Though mine may not have been as severe as hers I knew exact how she felt. We told our immediate family shortly after finding out, we were too happy to keep it a secret. I was still only 5/6 weeks when I had to tell my extended family after my grandfather passed. I was so scared that the more people that knew meant I was going to jinx myself. Ever since I was a little girl my dream job has been being a wife and a mom! Here I was experiencing it and I couldn’t get excited out of fear of it all going away. My anxiety took over a good part of my pregnancy. I finished the book after my son was born and once again Izzy wrote how I was feeling. Her quote “ when you suffer with anxiety, you constantly operating in the past or the future, very rarely in the here and now with a baby, you can only be present in the moment with them, and I’m sure that’s why I’m coping better”

This book was so amazing and Izzy is such an amazing inspirational person.

[Emma Minazza · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an emotional read, I didn't know anything about Izzy at the start but after reading this book, she's really inspired me with her meditation, positivity and determination. I know Harry from Mcfly and his kindness and love towards Izzy shows tenfold in this autobiography.

Very heartwarming, emotional and relatable, I am an IVF baby and it's something I've never asked mum about when my parents decided to have me but I want to know more from mum, this book really opens your eyes to what you have to do to prepare your body, the emotions along the way and the highs and lows of it all. Mum had two eggs implanted after having 12 taken and some frozen. I could have been a twin too but I was the stronger embryo. Science is a powerful and amazing thing!

[GrainneS · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. Izzy and Harry are so honest in sharing their experience and difficulties with fertility and treatments. There definitely isn't enough discourse about fertility, IVF and miscarriage, so it's amazing that Izzy is having that conversation by sharing her struggles. While that is the main point of the book, her details about what happened to her brother, Rupert, and how it affected him and their family is what resonated with me most because my family are also having a tough time with my own older brother being unwell. I found her chapter about this time of her life and other details mentioning Rupert very comforting... And I actually cried. Dare to Dream is beautifully written, comforting and moving. Definitely the book I didn't know I needed.

[Hannah Pham · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found the topic of this book very difficult to read. I initially picked it up in search of a story similar to my own. This book addresses the desire for motherhood, the complications and heartbreak when this doesn’t come easily and the plain facts and medical procedures some women experience to bring their dreams to reality. I cried a lot when I read this and locked myself indoors for a few days, just to deal with my own emotions. In many ways, it was comforting to read about the same feelings and to read about someone else’s success story. It would be pretty sh*te if she didn’t have a happy ending, to be fair. I’d have demanded a refund.

[Hannah Porter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to the audiobook.

I love that this was a real insight into a real struggle for someone recognisable. There was no focus on the ‘fame’ side of things, just raw emotion and real connection. The book being read by Izzy (and also a bit of Harry) was lovely and really added to the authenticity, Izzy’s voice is incredibly soothing!

Having read some of the other reviews I can see why some think it’s a bit preachy but as someone who can’t relate to the details of her story the insight and hope was beautiful. Really enjoyed it.

[Beccy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this was going to be just another 'celeb' pregnancy journey book but it's so much more.

I had no idea how talented Izzy Judd is in her own right and her struggles with anxiety (which I can relate to on so many levels) and fertility have shown her to be an inspirational human.

She's the sort of person I want to be friends with.

She is much more than 'just' Harry's wife. She is a strong, confident woman.

[Olivia Bowles · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book was well written! Currently going through infertility so I can relate to much of what Izzy went through. We have not walked over to the IVF portion of it but dealing with infertility and not ovulating and waiting for a period has been hell on myself and my fiancé this past year. This book opened my eyes up to really just keep going, even if it’s difficult and the medications are driving you nuts just keep going!

[Meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book simply because I was just intrigued to read Izzy and Harry’s story on the subject of fertility and honestly I loved it, I was so invested in the story from the first chapter which is why I read it in a day. It had my feeling every emotion throughout the book as you were on the journey with Izzy from the start and honestly I finished the book just feeling so content and happy for them both, I adored this and I’m so glad I read it.

[Aisha Mai · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars.

Izzy tells her story of coping with anxiety for almost all her life and then trying to start a family with her husband Harry.

I enjoyed reading her story. It gave me insight into the different dimensions of falling pregnant: some straight away, some having miscarriages along the way, issues with PCOS, IVF, how diet and mindfulness helped her in many of her difficult days. I thought it was a nice read.

[Gemma Birkett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an eye opening, emotional and incredible read. The honesty and openness shared by Izzy Judd is so brilliant, I cried my way through this book. Everyone should read this, just to try to have some sort of understanding and compassion towards fertility struggles. We were lucky and fell pregnant quickly but no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. A must read for all!!

[Rachel 💚 · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was so heartbreaking. I had a few brief email exchanges with Izzy a few years ago in which we had frank conversations regarding fertility issues so I have a huge amount of respect for her for writing this and sharing her story. She’s such a kind and lovely person and I loved this. I’m so glad she got her happy ending.

[Phoebe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow what a journey. I couldn't put it down it was heartbreaking, informative and inspiring. It's an experience millions of women and families go through and it's important that this book is out there.

[Faye Ducker · Rating 3 out of 5]

A beautifully written account of Izzy's struggle to conceive. IVF is still somewhat of a taboo subject and it was refreshing to read such a frank account of what she went through.

I was also interested to learn about IVF in general, I had no idea it was such a difficult, invasive process.

[Natty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful, truly wonderful. I have never read a book that has so accurately depicted the way I feel as a young woman struggling with infertility and PCOS. thank you for writing this Izzy, you've helped me more than you will ever know xxx

[Leanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you for writing this book. It helps so much that people don't avoid talking about this subject. I'm just heading into an fet rou d so read g this and knowing I'm not the only person in the world to feel this way has helped me to be more positive

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written book!, got such a sense of support, relief and calm I got from this book really helped me ground myself in a tricky time. Would 100% recommend this for ANYONE struggling with fertility. Bravo Izzy Judd 🩷

[KylieJain · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not the usual type of book I would go for but I was drawn to it by the front cover. The story was so well written and I honestly didn't want the book to end. Such a wonderful story about a wonderful family, well done Izzy 💕

[Jora Bakker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Boek was op zich wel leuk en interessant om te lezen alleen vond het verhaal langdradig. Verder ook leuk om het gedeelte van Harry te lezen.

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read it in a few hours, an incredible read

[Rebecca Farren · Rating 3 out of 5]

5/10

[Evi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just <3

[Rebecca Blacker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This took me ages to read as I could relate to it so much. Worth the emotional roller coaster.

[Charlotte Basnett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lovely ❤️