Relationship: Bridge to the Soul

by Christopher Moon, Harmon Moon (Editor)

Written with humour and compassion, this is an easy-to-read handbook that has guided over a 150,000 readers through the essential stages of relationship, and helped them respond to the challenges and opportunities inherent in each stage. Chris Moon uses the design of intimate partnership as a template for all relationship dynamics, as he guides the reader from the glamour of Romance, past the disappointments and struggles of the Disillusionment stage, and beyond to the freedom of a Soul-Centered Partnership. Like a detailed road map, the book outlines the most direct route to happiness, and indicates which relationship hazards and pitfalls can be traversed more smoothly or avoided altogether. If you are experiencing a bit of a "bad patch", floating through the calm waters of harmony, or are undergoing an intense upheaval in a close partnership, Relationship -- Bridge to the Soul is a wonderful guiding light on whatever relationship path you are traveling.

But there are surprises to be had with this book as well! Moon challenges the conventional beliefs about the purpose of close partnerships, and offers an eye-opening proposal regarding the true purpose and process of relationship. The revelations that are scattered throughout this book can assist the reader in having wonderful transformations, not only regarding their primary relationships, but in all aspects of their lives, for, as Moon states, "... the purpose of your most important relationships is exactly the same as the purpose of your life! Who am I? Why am I here? The answers to these two most fundamental human questions can be directly experienced through your interactions with your mate, children, parents,... all the important people in your lives.



If you enjoyed the works of David Schnarch, Gay and Kathleen Hendricks, John Grey and other "Relationship Pioneers", you are sure to enjoy this read!

Genres: Self Help

206 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 1, 2012

Reviews

[Kelsey Su · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very good book to heal my pain from my relationship. Admittedly, C.Moon was right that all the pain came from my past and my own staff. I played the victim but who was punished by myself. After detailed analysis of my behaviors, I have to say thanks to my boyfriend, I grow in this relationship. No matter how we will end eventually, I have become the better me.

[Celia · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lil bit repeated, but the core ideas help me a lot. One should be fully responsible for his/ her own emotion. When one can ground on herself/ himself, let go the needs of specialness and control and give space as well as freedom to their partners and show acceptance, awareness and appreciation, it is so called emotion mature.

[Sara Chen · Rating 5 out of 5]

是一本對於自我情緒剖析非常全面的書，雖然對於各種問題的解決方法最後有點歸於靈性，但還算是可以接受。非常喜歡這本，聽完直接去借實體書。絕對是今年讀到最棒的書之一。

以下是一些現在可以憑空記得的筆記：
1.生氣只是一種不去處理情緒、忽視情緒的方式。
2.當下的情緒可能只有六分鐘，接下來的情緒都只是被喚醒的過往的情緒。
3.吵架是源自於大家沒有發現其實各自都沉浸在自己的情緒中。
4.衝突中會有一個發現問題的人跟不會發現問題的人，事實上一個巴掌拍不響，兩個人面對情緒的方式不一樣，但其實都是同一種情緒的不同面對方式。
5.只有把自己當被害者才會是被害者。一個人不是被害者，就是加害者或拯救者，解決之道就是要跳脫框架。
6.有心想要解決問題，心存感激，就是改善關係問題的第一步。

[ckm · Rating 4 out of 5]

最深刻的一個例子是A跟B同居，因為浴室沒有整理的小事而吵架，兩個人都很生氣跟難過，但他們之所以會因為這種小事而那麼激動，是因為引發了他們的舊創傷。

其實創傷一直也在，只不過刻意不去感受。

A是因為父母一直很嚴格，從小到大在父母生氣的嘮叨下成長，讓她内心覺得自己對父母來說是個麻煩，最好她死掉，至少消失。
於是由沒有整理浴室一事，再次傳達了同一信息：你是別人的負擔。
如果她沒有以前慘痛的經歷，沒有把「整理不好」理解成「否認她的重要性」，就不會在這件事上表現得那麼激動。


B則是因為家人從來不在意他的話，生日沒人記得，甚至有一年盲腸破裂，哭鬧了很久父母才意識到事態嚴重。
所以當他一次次提醒A，但A還是不收拾，同件事被重複強調，但對方都不見重視。
讓他再次回到童年沒有人在乎他的境地，因此感到不被愛。

很多時爭吵的背後，不止是問題本身，還連帶著兩人曾經的創傷。

[BaiLing · Rating 1 out of 5]

相較之前看的英文小說，它的小小本很吸引人，此外，還是擺在圖書館許久不見的「新到圖書」的櫃子上；更重要的是Goodreads上的評分高達4.03（滿分5分）——

這就是我看這書的理由。

一開始也想要好好認真讀，還節錄了兩段有意思的文字：

沒有人能讓我們幸福，也沒有人可以讓我們不幸福。(p. 36)

期望=未成熟的怨恨。期望是找機會發作的怨恨。(p. 39)

作者花很多氣力演繹親密關係的建立是操之在「我」的理念，分析被虛華吸引、經歷壓力、失望和怨恨而幻滅。拯救的方法是「內省」，最後終於會領悟愛的恆久不變，達到靈魂伴侶的關係。

很可惜並沒有拿到此書通往「如何有效溝通」的鑰匙（又或者作者根本沒有做這扇門）。作者認為親密伴侶爭吵時，四處飛散的漫天煙火總是遮住了雙方真正在意的重點。而所謂「真正的心意」的源頭，作者認為都是源自兒時被父母傷害的部分……

啊哩~~~

總之，睡前「敬誦」此書的催眠效果奇佳，但由於悟性太低，所有的高論漸成為過眼雲煙啦！

[Xuankang Lin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I agree with most things in the book. But my problem is never thinking in a wrong way, but thinking more than doing..

[Diane Zhu · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I have ever read. I’m surprised that not many people have heard or read about it. This book offers both scientific/psychological discoveries and spiritual guidance.

[Raven · Rating 5 out of 5]

只有爱能进入你的心、去改变只有给予却不懂得接受的模式（牺牲），以及只有获得却不懂得享受的模式（放纵），使得牺牲转变为真心的给予，而使放纵转为真心的接受。

[Ya Ju · Rating 5 out of 5]

it is an amazing book to read!

The book does not only show insight in a relationship, but also about inner growth. It is practical and also fun to read.

[Jiro]

四个阶段的划分非常经典，很有指导意义。

[Cinaaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nghe sách nói — tóm tắt — BetterVersion

[Hasibullah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want to start reading this book

[Jiahui Zheng · Rating 4 out of 5]

从亲密关系里发现自己，了解自己很多行为的根源，让自己意识到很多问题。

[Mr.Wuthering · Rating 5 out of 5]

人的一生最重要的乃是人与人之间的关系。而所有的关系当中，父母、配偶、亲子、密友可以称之为影响自我巨大的亲密关系。但是，要注意，“通往地狱之路，是用期望铺成的。” 这本书提供了一种处理模式，从点明现象，到发掘本质，到内心自省，到牺牲奉献，构建灵魂相通的亲密关系

[Min He · Rating 5 out of 5]

Strongly agree with some points even without any practice. Worth to read it again in the future.

[Jasper · Rating 2 out of 5]

艹，一开始我以为我是没有相关经历所以看不进去，现在发现老子读错了书。这本书收获很小，中间那段约翰和玛丽的吵架例子还不错。

[Vacuous · Rating 2 out of 5]

除了部分观点有价值外，其他理论依据就是把生气的缘由引到过去心理阴影，解决方法为自省并开诚布公地和对方谈。但很多矛盾并不止源于过去啊。

[Wei Luo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inner pursuit is the bridge to the soul. Such power can help you build better external relationships.