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344 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 11, 2017

“I just don’t understand why it has to be such a big deal, you know? Like, it shouldn’t matter what gender someone is. If you want to kiss them, you should be able to kiss them without it being a whole thing.” – Austin
It didn’t matter that most of my brain was telling me that I was being paranoid. The paranoid part of my brain was louder. – Brooklyn’s thoughts
“Promise me that if we ever decide to become famous again, we pick something that only octogenarians will care about. It’d be easier to outrun groups of people who use walkers to get around.” - Brooklyn
Brooklyn: I thought maybe I should do something to mark the occasion. You only get fake-married once, you know?
Austin: Real-fake-married, though. And I certainly hope you’ve never done this before. I’d be hurt to find out I wasn’t your first.
Brooklyn: It’s hard to take anyone seriously when they have little whales in their belt.
Austin: I’ll remember that. Next time, I’ll wear the one with lobsters.
Brooklyn: Lobsters are much more serious, you’re right.